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Dumbledore's Army

In Honor of Memorial Day, 2004

The Sugar Quill Presents...

SHIPPING WARS 2001...THE BEGINNING

 

Message from Kathy to HPFGU
Subject: When the Ship Hits the Fan

(I've been waiting to use that subject line for awhile now!)

OK, first of all, WHERE are all the R/H-ers? At the moment, the Good Ship R/H feels more like a rowboat, with me paddling furiously to get out of the way of
the wake created by the big gaudy SS H/H. Zsenya? Elizabeth? Thena? Little help, please? :)

OK, Here goes:

Ebony wrote:
>LOL! Thanks for the compliment, Kathy!

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Er...yeah, compliment...that's what it was....<g>

Ebony again:
>Recent readable fanfic lately is swinging heavily R/H.

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Ya really think so? It does seem I haven't had to slush through as much as I used to to find good R/H (or *any* R/H, for that matter!). Actually, I guess
you're right, because I haven't had to supplement my preferred diet of R/H fics with so-so H/H ones for awhile now. (I have actually become fairly picky about
which fanfics I read now, which is a switch. I used to read anything and everything. Now, it has to have Hermione, Ron and/or Harry in it [in that order of
preference, though I find I am preferring Ron more and more], the minute I see a "new girl" my finger's on the back button, and the font has to be legible. Maybe
I'm getting old, but are some of those stories in tiny writing or what? The last thing I need at 2 am, which is when I end up reading most of it. Which is why
"Hermione's 4th year" is entirely in Arial 14 point, btw). Also, of course, if someone else recommends something or it's an author I know is good (even if, alas, they are
H/H).

Ebony again:
> And Kathy, I'll bet the R/Hers thought they were off the hook due to Penny's carpal tunnel and the upcoming arrival of the littlest Linsenmayer.

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Oh, I know better than to think that H/H-ers will ever be silent. Though the "destroyer" rhetoric is starting to get a little disturbing, I must admit. I know it's
all in jest, but tell me, why is it that H/H-ers seem to see themselves as missionaries of some sort? I hope you know I'm not picking on you, Ebony, or anyone in
particular for that matter, but it just seems to me that the H/H crowd often manifests an almost manic to convert others. (Almost like they're trying to
convince themselves of the rightness of their position...(;, sorry, couldn't resist throwing that in!). But seriously, I have corresponded with several
other R/H-ers off-list who have told me they wouldn't participate in the shipper debates on this list because they perceived the H/H-ers here as being, well, let's just
say too vehement. Obviously, I don't really agree, since I get into it with y'all on a regular basis :), but I can't help but notice that the R/H ranks have gotten quieter around
here, even though the number of R/H-ers (at least according to the poll) hasn't gone down.

Ebony again:
>I can't speak from the R/H perspective at all, but I'm sure there will be no terrible cry from the H/H battleship-cum-Carnival Cruise if H/H is disproven (partly because
one of our theories-in-progress is "all roads lead to H/H"...but I digress).

Cap'n Kathy replied:
And I don't think there will be a terrible outcry from the Good Ship R/H either. We know where Hermione belongs; it's just a matter of her figuring it out. (:

Ebony yet again:
>I think I've become one of the most vocal around these parts, but I don't have two horns growing out of my head.

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Hmm, now I have to totally rethink my image of you, Eb. <g>

And again:
>I think the H/H image problem stem from the fact that we... I don't know... we post a lot more?

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Gee, YA THINK? (Again, helloooooo, other R/H-ers...help?)

Ebony yet again (we knew she was loquacious!):
>You know, I never thought I'd agree with an R/Her on so much. Of course, deep down I really think Kathy is an H/H Prodigal, who will eventually tire of R/H Disorder and come on home. :-)

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Not a chance, my friend. It never really did it for me in the first place, and the more you try to convert me, the more I will stick to my guns with Ron-like stubbornness.

Penny said:
>Neil! It was hilarious, but couldn't you have compared the Good Ship R/H to Titanic rather than our very own SS H/H?

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Because it was just more appropriate, I suppose <g>. Maybe the Good Ship R/H can play the Carpathia, and arrive the next morning to pick up the survivors...

Ebony again:
>Many of the best H/H writers *do* deal with Ron. Just perhaps not to the satisfaction of some.

Cap'n Kathy replied:
Exactly. And the very fact that it is termed "The Ron problem" should tell you why this annoys R/H-ers so greatly.

All that said, I REALLY liked Penny's idea of the various ships as party liners sailing along the HP waters. I have been thinking about the Good Ship R/H:
It's large and looks fairly rickety from the outside, but it's held up by magic and is much more sturdy than some might think. It has chess sets throughout and
small explosions are considered a matter of course. It also has a large closet full of shoes so Ron can demonstrate his shoe-tying technique (if you don't get
it, go read B Bennett's newest fic). Oh, and we never serve Corned Beef on the Good Ship R/H.

You know, it occurs to me that part of the problem for us R/Hers is that we don't have an Uber-fic the way H/Hers have PoU and DD/DS. (OH wait, there is that one
by Joanne something...though she's not very timely about getting the parts out...)

There was a whole bunch more I wanted to say, but I'm tired of babbling and I'm sure you guys are tired of me babbling too!

So, all are welcome to the Good (Rowboat) R/H--we can build on additions and the magic'll hold it up!

***
Message from B Bennett to HPFGU
Subject: RE: When the Ship Hits the Fan

Kathy wrote:

> All that said, I REALLY liked Penny's idea of the various ships as party liners sailing along the HP waters. I have been thinking about the Good Ship R/H: It's large and looks fairly rickety from the outside, but it's held up by magic and is much more sturdy than some might think. It has chess sets throughout and small explosions are
considered a matter of course.

BBennett replied:
Kathy, I'd like to apply for the position of Recreation Director, providing Cassandra and AngieJ will occasionally invite me to dinghy over for afternoon tea.

***
Message from Moey to HPFGU
Subject: RE: When the Ship Hits the Fan

I had resigned myself to lurking but a true Gryffindor never leaves his or her mates hanging....

Kathy wrote:
> (I've been waiting to use that subject line for a while now!)

Moey replied:
Good one!

Kathy wrote:
> OK, first of all, WHERE are all the R/H-ers? At the moment, the Good Ship R/H feels more like a rowboat, with me paddling furiously to get out of the way of the wake created by the big gaudy SS H/H. Zsenya? Elizabeth? Thena? Little help, please? :)

Moey replied:
Aye, aye Cap'n. First mate Maureen reporting for duty!

Kathy wrote:
> Ebony yet again (we knew she was loquacious!):>You know, I never thought I'd agree with an R/Her on so much. Of course, deep down I really think Kathy is an H/H
Prodigal, who will eventually tire of R/H Disorder and come on home. :-)

> Not a chance, my friend. It never really did it for me in the first place, and the more you try to convert me, the more I will stick to my guns with Ron-like stubbornness.

Moey replied:
Kathy will never turn, she is way too strong. (Use the Force, Kathy) Besides our uniforms are much nicer. :)

Kathy wrote:
> Penny said:
> > Neil! It was hilarious, but couldn't you have compared the Good Ship R/H to Titanic rather than our very own SS H/H?

> Because it was just more appropriate, I suppose <g>. Maybe the Good > Ship R/H can play the Carpathia, and arrive the next morning to pick up the survivors...

Moey replied:
I gave Kathy permission to use this so we might be repeating ourselves......*The SS H/H has packed on far too many passengers and not nearly enough lifeboats.* You are
all royally screwed. <VBG> :) I also see you all stranded on a deserted isle, episode after episode looking to be rescued. Each week you are visited by a "Special R/H Guest" who somehow manages to leave while you all remain there with your bizarre theories and coconut telephones....

Kathy wrote:
> Ebony again:
> > Many of the best H/H writers *do* deal with Ron. Just perhaps not to the satisfaction of some.

> Exactly. And the very fact that it is termed "The Ron problem" should tell you why this annoys R/H-ers so greatly.

Moey replied:
Grrrrr.....


Kathy wrote:
> All that said, I REALLY liked Penny's idea of the various ships as party liners sailing along the HP waters. I have been thinking about the Good Ship R/H: It's large and looks fairly rickety from the outside, but it's held up by magic and is much more sturdy than some might think. It has chess sets throughout and small explosions are considered a matter of course. It also has a large closet full of shoes so Ron can demonstrate his shoe-tying technique (if you don't get it, go read B Bennett's newest fic). Oh, and we
never serve Corned Beef on the Good Ship R/H.

Moey replied:
That *True Love* magic (second only to a Mother's Love) really is amazing!!!

Kathy wrote:
> You know, it occurs to me that part of the problem for us R/Hers is that we don't have an Uber-fic the way H/Hers have PoU and DD/DS. (OH wait, there is that one by Joanne something...though she's not very timely about getting the parts out...)

Moey replied:
LOL Captain Kathy! Our Admiral, Joanne, will steer this ship on the right course!!


-Mo
First Mate of the Good Ship R/H

***
And back to Kathy:
Subject: RE: When the Ship Hits the Fan

Mo wrote:
>Aye, aye Cap'n. First mate Maureen reporting for duty!

Kathy replied:
Welcome aboard! And just so the rest of you know, I have been assured by First Mate Mo that the rest of the R/H crew is merely hiding under their Invisibility Cloaks, saving their voices for the inevitable "We told you so!" that we will have occasion to shout. <g>

Mo wrote:
>Kathy will never turn, she is way too strong. (Use the Force, Kathy) Besides our uniforms are much nicer. :)

Kathy replied:
She will make an excellent first mate. She knows her captain well. :)

Mo wrote:
>The SS H/H has packed on far too many passengers and not nearly enough lifeboats.* You are all royally screwed. <VBG> :) I also see you all stranded on a deserted isle, episode after episode looking to be rescued. Each week you are visited by a "Special R/H Guest" who somehow manages to leave while you all remain there with your bizarre
theories and coconut telephones....

Kathy replied:
There's a fanfic in there, I think! (I'm giggling just thinking about it!)

Mo wrote:
>LOL Captain Kathy! Our Admiral, Joanne, will steer this ship on the right course!!

Kathy replied:
You got that right! We will navigate by the light of the JKR star and avoid all those icebergs that seem to be plaguing the SS H/H (or whatever it's being called at the moment)

Batten down the hatches! An enemy ship approaches! It appears to be a yacht of some sort...and the crew are all wearing leather pants! It can't be...no, it is...the D/H! All hands on deck!

Kathy
AKA Elanor Gamgee
who wishes she had taken that sailing class in college just so she would have more good nautical metaphors to use for this entirely silly but very fun thread

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