The SugarQuill Gals
(a Harry Potter fanfiction by Moey - with some
additional scenes by Zsenya)
The four American women walked into the pub, in their typical
American Muggle clothing. The other patrons looked on in distaste.
"Tsk, Americans. Can't even be bothered to wear their robes in public."
"And look at that one on the left. She has something written on her shirt.
Star Wars. What in bloody hell is that?"
The newcomers made their way to the bar. The cute redheaded bartender immediately
left the patron he was attending to come and assist them.
"Hel - lo, ladies. Name's Fred." Each freckle on his face smiled. "What can
I get you?" At that instant another, identical man appeared at his side.
"Now Fred, don't go boggarting all the customers." His smile was in every
way as charming as his twin's. "Good evening, lovely ladies. I'm George. My
brother and I are the owners of this fine establishment and we are forever
at your service." The American foursome couldn't help but laugh as Fred and
George took a deep, bow behind the bar.
"Well, said one of the ladies. What do you recommend?"
Fred and George exchanged a sidelong, mischievous grin. "Well, " said the
one named Fred, "we have plenty of drinks to suit your mood."
"Hey!" said Arabella, leaning on the counter, "Do you have anything
that catches fire?"
"Hmmm," said Fred, happy to be able to give assistance, "the only thing that
might catch fire is this Everclear, or the Bacardi 151."
"Ooooh! Everclear!" said Arabella enthusiastically, "What's that?"
"No!" screamed Zsenya, overhearing the conversation, "NO JUNGLE JUICE. We
are OUT of college for heaven's sake."
"Oh, okay," said Arabella slowly, looking at Zsenya in confusion. Then, addressing
Fred again, she said, "What about Peppermint Schnapps? Will that catch fire?"
"It just might," replied Fred. "But be careful NOT to try to put it out with
your fingers. Be sure to have a mug nearby to extinguish the flame. How about
we start you off on a Butterbeer, and you can look at our menu." George tapped
his wand on the bar and four parchments appeared before them.
"Thanks, that will work," another of the ladies replied.
As George (or was it Fred?) poured the Butterbeers, Fred began to chat them
up. "I'm sorry ladies," he said as he handed them their drinks, "I don't think
we caught your names."
The women looked at one another and one of them started, "Well, I'm Arabella,
this is Zsenya, B, and Elanor. We're on a weekend trip from America."
"Ah, what a fortuitous circumstance for us that you chose our quaint little
town of Hogsmeade," George replied.
"It's a famous town," Zsenya began. "We're always hearing things about it
in the states, so we thought we'd pop over for a weekend."
"We don't have anything like it in the states. We tend to blend in with the
Muggles," Elanor added. "We don't have any separate Wizarding towns."
B was looking around anxiously. "Do you think Moey got our owl in time? I
hope she makes it. She's going to be hot if she thinks we forgot about her."
B was always so thoughtful.
"She'll be here," said Zsenya reassuringly. "She wouldn't want to miss this.
Ooh look, I think I'm going to try this drink. It says, 'The R/H, passionately
red, strong, with definite kick and bite.' That's the one I want," she said
looking up at Fred (or was it George?)
"Make that two!" Arabella chimed in. "That one sounds absolutely fabulous!"
"Two R/H's coming right up," the redheaded bartender called over to his twin.
"Now how about you two?" he asked directing his attention to B and Elanor.
"I'm thinking that the H/H might be good," said a misguided Elanor. "What
do you think B? Doesn't it sound sweet?"
"That might be your point of view. I'm thinking that it looks rather dull."
B wisely replied. "I'm with Arabella and Zsenya. I'm going R/H all the way."
George had handed them three R/H's while Elanor was still deciding. "Let me
have a taste," she asked. Taking a sip she exclaimed, "Wow! That was excellent!
Bartender make me an R/H - and keep 'em coming!" She slapped her hand on the
bar with finality. "Hey what do these letters mean anyway?" she asked as a
twin placed the drink in front of her.
"Long story. Very long story," was his only answer.
After several R/H's a piece (and a few H/G's thrown in as well), the ladies
were becoming more and more toasted. Fred and George seemed to be having a
lovely time with the ladies and many of their regular customers were forced
to go behind the bar to serve themselves. Elanor and Zsenya were having giggle
fits as George and Fred turned their attentions specifically to them.
"I just love a woman who isn't afraid to express herself
with face paint," said Fred admiringly.
"Teeheeteeheeteehee," giggled Elanor.
B and Arabella were still wondering about Moey when suddenly
three young wizards entered the bar.
Two were tall with the same flaming red hair and freckles as Fred and George.
The other had a mop of dark hair and emerald green eyes. The dark-haired man
and one of the redheads were all sweaty. The two sweaty ones were holding
broomsticks and wearing Quidditch robes.
"Oi!" George called out. "What took you so long? We thought you'd have been
around hours ago."
"Well you know this one and his strategies," the dark-haired one replied.
"I could have caught the Snitch hours ago, but we had to go according to his
plan." He was obviously mocking the redhead.
"Please, you didn't even see the Snitch until the last five minutes of the
game," the redhead retorted. "Don't let all those screaming women give you
an even bigger head!"
"So boys, how about giving us some Butterbeers," the other redhead asked.
"Our boys here played a spectacular game. And I did wonders cheering them
"Get them yourselves," replied Fred. "Can't you see that we're busy?" He nodded
toward the group of women they were sitting with.
"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Arabella asked the twins. She was eyeing
the dark-haired one. She turned to Zsenya and whispered, "I like him. Look
at his eyes, he's so, so -alive!"
George looked up from his conversation with Zsenya and sounding rather put
out said, "Zsenya, Elanor, Arabella, B, meet our dear brothers Ron (he was
pointing to the sweaty redhead), Bill, and Harry."
Fred added, "Ron and Harry play for the Chudley Cannons. Bill's teaching over
at Hogwarts after an exciting stint in Egypt."
Arabella asked, "Um, I don't know about you Harry but I'd check to see if
you really are a brother to the rest."
"Don't let the hair and lack of skin pigmentation fool you. I'm 100% Weasley,"
Harry smiled as he went to sit next to Arabella. "We're just One Big Happy
Ron added, "Once you're accepted into the Weasley clan, there's no turning
back. Your in for life."
"So another win, eh?" George looked slyly at his twin.
"Ah yes," Fred replied winking at George, "I think this calls for a round
of Gred and Forge's!" There were shouts of, "Woohoo!" from the rest of the
men as the slapped their hands on the bar.
"What's a Gred and Forge?" B asked Bill who had come to sit next to her.
"Best not to ask, love," he said smiling at her with twinkling eyes. "Let's
just say, it's a bit like the twins. It looks innocent but looks can be deceiving.
By the way, I love your shirt. Star Wars is a favorite Muggle movie of mine."
They were suddenly distracted by a pop, while at the same moment, Elanor shouted,
"I want a grape!"
"Ehem, hello!" called the newly arrived figure from near the door.
"Moey!" the ladies shouted.
"What took you so long?" asked Zsenya.
"We've been waiting," said B.
"B was beginning to worry," Arabella threw in.
"Teeheeheeheehee," Elanor added.
"Oh, I can see that," she said sarcastically. Then smiling she surveying the
party. "Now don't just sit there gaping. Introduce me to your handsome friends.
And don't forget to get me a drink!"
Introductions were repeated and Moey then said, "So what should I have to
"AIGHHGGHGH!" screamed Elanor, who had suddenly stopped giggling. A dart had
flown past her head so closely that the wind rustled her hair.
"Sorry!" said B. looking sheepish. "I was aiming for the dartboard,"
she explained, pointing at the wall about ten feet in the opposite direction
from where Elanor was standing.
"I need a drink!" said Moey with a sigh. She felt a bit left
Sweaty Ron jumped behind the bar and said, "I was just about
to have the 'Alternate Gred and Forge' myself. Should I make that two?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"Two alternate G&F's with Butterbeer chasers coming right up!"
"So you're from America too? What do you do?' Ron asked Moey,
looking all cute and sweaty.
"I do a lot of freelance writing. Also a little detective work on the side,"
she replied, staring at his fabulous freckles.
"Wow, that sounds so interesting," he replied adorably. "I'd love to hear
all about it."
"And I'd love to hear about Quidditch," she was completely taken by his grin
and the beautiful red hair. "It's my favorite sport. I've been known to play
a good game too."
"Well we'll just have to talk Quidditch over dinner." Her heart skipped a
beat at his invitation. "Harry and I need to get cleaned up but we can meet
you all back here."
"Oh don't go to too much trouble on account of us." She really liked him like
this. He could stay unshowered forever.
"Yeah, really it isn't. Plus I clean up pretty good." She decided she could
live with him clean.
He poured the drinks, which to Moey's surprise were flaming. Arabella turned
her head and said, "I want one of those!"
Harry hopped on his Firebolt and sailed over the counter to
make one for her. He handed a drink to Arabella, who giggled and asked, "Is
this real fire?"
Before Harry had a chance to answer, Arabella stuck her hand
in the bluebell flame that was shooting out of the glass. "Ouch!" she screamed,
and flung the drink in the air so that the contents showered over the bar
and onto the floor.
Ron cocked an eyebrow and held up his own glass to Moey. "So
here's to the start of what I know will be a beautiful friendship!"
"Cheers!' she replied blushing furiously. She just knew it would be.
Just then, a loud noise startled everyone in the bar. An unusual
group of people appeared in the doorway. Zsenya screamed and Elanor clapped
her hand over her mouth in surprise. A tall, slender man with tortoiseshell
glasses strode over to where Zsenya was sitting with George. He had a guitar
hanging from a strap around his neck. Random wires were hanging from it and
some sort of pedal was dragging along on the floor behind him. A set of large
headphones were looped around his neck. "You're coming home now! What
the hell are you doing? I told you that you weren't allowed to go to Hogsbarth
with those freaky friends of yours! I was just in the middle of practicing
and now I've lost my train of thought!"
"They're not freaks!" screeched Zsenya, reaching for
Elanor's T-shirt. Another man, who had the glazed expression of one who worked
nights and spent many hours in front of a computer role-playing was attempting
to carry her out of the bar. "No!" screamed Elanor, pounding his
back with her fists, "you're evil! You took away my Microsoft Word! I'm
only coming home if you promise to fix my computer!"
The third man walked up to Moey and said, "What? You didn't
think that I'd notice that you were gone? Or know where you were headed? You
left AOL Instant Messenger running! For a geographer, you ain't too bright.
You left your stupid Heiny doll behind." He held up an unattractive piece
of merchandise depicting a young girl with extremely big feet and bell-bottomed
jeans. Moey shrugged, and remained seated next to sweaty Ron. "Honestly,"
she replied, tossing her head, "It's Hermione, not Heiny.
You are such a Muggle."
"Hermione?" asked sweaty Ron, looking suddenly quite
frightened. He moved away from Moey a few inches and looked around frantically.
"Arabella!" said a pleasant girl with blonde curls
and a pretty face, "I - I'm so glad I found you! I've been thinking,
and, well, maybe I could join in the party?
Harry looked at Arabella questioningly, "Is that your girlfriend?"
he asked, sounding disappointed.
Arabella quickly set him straight, "No! That's my roommate.
I'm single." She gave him a dazzling smile.
Her roommate spoke up, "I'm wondering if that Sirius guy
that you were telling me about will turn up later." She was interrupted
when a tall, handsome wizard approached the crowd, "I'm Sirius's brother.
Do you want a drink?"
Soon everyone was arguing and talking and Fred and George passed
around another batch of Alternate G&H's. Bill was just about to lean forward
and kiss B when Kablam! - another loud noise startled them all. Even
more surprising was that moments later, an extremely large Muggle vehicle
with Kentucky plates drove through the wall of the bar. "Hey sis!"
said a strong, young man, addressing B, and climbing out of the device, something
square clutched in his hands. "We were supposed to switch cars, remember?
Oh! And here's your laptop. I'm sorry that I've deprived you of it for so
"Our bar! Our bar!" moaned the twins, trying to figure
out a way to magically move the vehicle and repair the hole in the wall. The
atmosphere in the bar was suddenly grim. Slyly, Elanor reached into her pocket
and threw something in the middle of the room. It exploded, and within seconds,
everyone was laughing so hard that they thought their sides would split.
"You're brilliant!" exclaimed Fred, giving Elanor
a large hug. "What was that?" he managed to get out, before he fell
on the floor in hysterics.
"New invention," gasped Elanor, "Giggle Grenade!"
And they all laughed happily well into the night.