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Minutes of the Third Annual SugarQuill Summit dedicated to H/Hrs and H/Drs, our worthy opponents in the Battle of the Relationships and able cohorts in the enjoyment of all things Harry Potter

  (As recorded by Moey)



Part Two (Continued from Part One...)


DATE: 03/30/01 - 04/01/01

















When we last left our Heroines………

Elanor Gamgee had just set off her new invention - a Giggle Grenade. The smoke began to clear and the laughter subside; that is the laughter from those of wizarding blood. The Muggle men and woman that had so blatantly crashed the party were still laying on the floor gasping between guffaws.

"Who let the Muggles in? Why would you let the Muggles in?" Moey glared at Zsenya.

"Damn you, Moey! Damn you for being so right!" Zsenya proclaimed.

"And smart!" Elanor Gamgee added.

"And funny!" Arabella shouted.

"And sexy!" exclaimed Absolutely Correct Ron.

"Well then, let's get rid of this lot, shall we?" Grinning Ron said, glancing at his brothers and Harry.

"After you, mate," Harry deferred to his best, non-traitorous friend.

"Why thank you." Thankful Ron quickly pointed his wand at the tall, brown haired bloke that thought mispronouncing names was oh-so funny.

The Muggle disappeared and Ron blew on his wand. "You next," said Muggle-removing Ron to Harry. Harry aimed his wand at the pleasant girl with blonde curls and *poof* she was gone.

"Dude! Thank heavens!" exclaimed Arabella. "I was afraid that people would think I was a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that…"

"Of course not," George and Fred chimed in together as they pointed their wands at two of the three remaining Muggle boys left.

The one with the guitar shouted, "Make sure you drop me at my gig!" as he vanished. The remaining boy requested to be placed in front of the computer that would no longer be occupied by Elanor, who stayed up until 6 am finishing her story. His last words were heard as "…videos and cigarettes at the 7-11!"

"Bye! Tee hee tee hee," Elanor giggled at the disappearing figure.

There was one boy left. "Who's he?" asked Questioning Ron. Harry shrugged and together they pointed their wands and removed him from the bar.

"That was B's brother. Hey, what happened to B?" Moey asked looking around the room. "She was with the one that had the ponytail and fang earring." Fred, George, Ron and Harry all exchanged glances, stifling laughter.

"You know what I think-" Harry began.

"Oh, who cares what you think!" Elanor Gamgee shouted vehemently.

"Hey, I still haven't showered," said Unshowered Ron. "Any of you ladies care to join me in a bath? Although it would be nothing new to me, because apparently I do this sort of thing all the time you know."

"You do what all the time?" Moey asked.

"Have baths with beautiful women," replied Out-of-Character Ron. "It helps to wash off all the chocolate syrup and whipped cream."

Just then there were three *pops* and B, Bill and a yet unidentified redhead suddenly reappeared in the bar. Bill was wearing nothing but his fang earring and a loincloth. "Where have you been? We've been so worried!" shouted Zsenya. "And who is this?" Zsenya was staring at the new boy, who was also only wearing a loincloth.

"I was busy," said B. "Bill really needed to be removed from his pants. This is another Weasley brother, Charlie. Charlie works with Dragons." B was looking at Charlie admiringly. "Check out his kewl dragon tattoo." Charlie had a tattoo of a Welsh Green. He was able to make thin jets of fire shoot out of it's snout. The tattoo was barely visible beyond the edge of his loincloth. "Doesn't it Rox?" B asked. The girls all nodded in agreement.

"I see that and I'm liking it." Arabella was staring at Bill. "I say we remove the remaining boys from their pants as well. Shall we ladies?" Immediately the boys' clothes were exchanged for the Good Ship's official uniform.

"Hot redheads in loincloths. Woohoo!." Elanor exclaimed, surveying the men. She had another sip of her Gred and Forge and that was it. She was now officially drunk. .

"You know, Elanor, you may find Harry boring, but the two of you have a lot in common," Moey said. Harry could barely stand and was looking down at his uniform with glazed eyes. "Both of you are total lightweights!"

"My First Mate is turning on me!" Elanor slurred. Arabella gave Moey a high five.

"Is there an owl-post door in this place?" Zsenya asked, surveying the room. "I want to check my mail."

"She just wants to see if Doctor Cornelius is back in town," Arabella laughed. "She wants to flirt with him."

"No!" Zsenya said. "I want to check on SQHQ."

"Yes," Elanor Gamgee said, attempting to stand up and failing miserably. "We must find out what my Arch Nemesis Captain of the Cruiseliner H/H is doing!" *grins at Captain Penny*

"All this talk about arch enemies is making me thirsty," Thirsty Ron said. "George, how about some more Butterbeers?"

"Coming right up!" George replied, stepping over to the bar. He and Fred began pouring the Butterbeers while the ladies looked longingly at the loincloths. It had become very quiet as the girls were engrossed in what seemed to be the beginnings of Potter Porn when two *pops* broke the silence. A tall man with dark hair and a slightly shorter, more distinguished man with flecks of grey in his hair appeared.

"Remus, Siruis!" The loincloth laden boys exclaimed.

"This calls for a round, I'd say!" Fred started pouring tequila for everyone. "Two Fingers - your favorite!" he said as he sent Sirius' and Remus' glasses flying toward them.

Zsenya and Moey had been occupying themselves over near the wizard jukebox. After conspiring for a moment they turned as a song began to play.

"How can I just let you walk away? Just let you leave without a trace?" they sang.

"Oh Sirius, it's our song," Remus said taking his friend by the hand and looking into his dark, murky pools of unrest. Moey and Zsenya began to cry.

"You're the only one that really knew me at all," Moey and Zsenya were still singing between tears. "Take a look at me now, there's just an empty space. There's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face…"

When the song ended, Still Unshowered Ron proclaimed, "Let's put something on that's a bit more cheerful." With a wave of his wand, REO Speedwagon began blaring through the room. Everyone began to dance, in a 1980's Breakfast Club fashion to "I Can't Fight This Feeling". Everyone except for B.

"B, don't you want to dance?" Bill asked.

"No but you can," she smiled.

"Is that your hand on my butt?" Bill asked.

"It sure is! Now dance." B then turned to Charlie, "You too, Dragon-boy!"

Since Harry was too drunk to dance, Arabella went over to look at Charlie's tattoo. "Where can we get one of those around here?" she asked. The rest of the girls listened intently. They were all very keen on getting tattooed after their T-shirts had turned out so well.

"It's been outlawed in this village," Charlie replied. "It's an hour's broomstick ride to the next town with a wizarding tattoo artist."

The girls were disappointed but decided they could wait. They started dancing again to Air Supply's "Making Love Out of Nothing at All."

When they were finished dancing, Even Sweatier Ron once again put his suggestion out there. "You girls really should join us for that bath."

"Oh yeah!" said Harry, barely able to pick his head up off the table. The rest of the boys looked eagerly at the girls.

"We have Sugarquills…." Tempting Ron said in a singsong voice.

The girls all looked at one another when suddenly an owl came racing in through the window, dropping a roll of parchment into Zsenya's lap.

"What is it?" asked B with an anxious look on her face.

"Is it urgent?" Arabella questioned, still staring at the boys.

Zsenya held a look of horror on her face.

"It can't be!" exclaimed Moey.

"Please tell me they didn't!" shouted Elanor Gamgee.

Zsenya looked up at her friends. "It's happened. It's what we have feared."

As she said those words, horrified looks spread across each and every one of the SQ girls' faces. There was an intake of breath from the group as she said these next words…

"An H/H spy has infiltrated the Sugar Quill…."


To Be Continued…..


What will happen next? Will the SQ Gals catch the H/H spy? Will they secure SQHQ? Will Harry sober up? Will Sweaty Ron ever get to take his bath? Will the SQ Gals get their tattoos? Join us in six weeks to find out! Same SQ time; same SQ channel.



The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

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