OF THE THIRD SUGAR QUILL SUMMIT
Minutes of the Third Annual SugarQuill Summit dedicated to
H/Hrs and H/Drs, our worthy opponents in the Battle of the Relationships and
able cohorts in the enjoyment of all things Harry Potter
(As recorded by Moey)
Part Two (Continued from Part One...)
DATE: 03/30/01 - 04/01/01
PLACE: SQ HEADQUATERS (SQHQ) IN
UNPLOTTABLE LOCATION ON THE EASTERN SEABORD
HEADMISTRESS, PURSER ON THE GOOD SHIP
GUEST STAR ON THE GOOD SHIP R/H
OF THE GOOD SHIP R/H
SHIP R/H GOODWILL AMBASSADOR
PROFESSOR, FIRST MATE OF THE GOOD
When we last left our Heroines………
Elanor Gamgee had just set off her new
invention - a Giggle Grenade. The smoke began to clear and the laughter subside;
that is the laughter from those of wizarding blood. The Muggle men and woman
that had so blatantly crashed the party were still laying on the floor gasping
"Who let the Muggles in? Why would
you let the Muggles in?" Moey glared at Zsenya.
"Damn you, Moey! Damn you for being
so right!" Zsenya proclaimed.
"And smart!" Elanor Gamgee added.
"And funny!" Arabella shouted.
"And sexy!" exclaimed Absolutely
"Well then, let's get rid of this
lot, shall we?" Grinning Ron said, glancing at his brothers and Harry.
"After you, mate," Harry deferred
to his best, non-traitorous friend.
"Why thank you." Thankful Ron
quickly pointed his wand at the tall, brown haired bloke that thought mispronouncing
names was oh-so funny.
The Muggle disappeared and Ron blew on
his wand. "You next," said Muggle-removing Ron to Harry. Harry aimed
his wand at the pleasant girl with blonde curls and *poof* she was gone.
"Dude! Thank heavens!" exclaimed
Arabella. "I was afraid that people would think I was a lesbian. Not
that there's anything wrong with that…"
"Of course not," George and
Fred chimed in together as they pointed their wands at two of the three remaining
Muggle boys left.
The one with the guitar shouted, "Make
sure you drop me at my gig!" as he vanished. The remaining boy requested
to be placed in front of the computer that would no longer be occupied by
Elanor, who stayed up until 6 am finishing her story. His last words were
heard as "…videos and cigarettes at the 7-11!"
"Bye! Tee hee tee hee," Elanor
giggled at the disappearing figure.
There was one boy left. "Who's he?"
asked Questioning Ron. Harry shrugged and together they pointed their wands
and removed him from the bar.
"That was B's brother. Hey, what
happened to B?" Moey asked looking around the room. "She was with
the one that had the ponytail and fang earring." Fred, George, Ron and
Harry all exchanged glances, stifling laughter.
"You know what I think-" Harry
"Oh, who cares what you think!"
Elanor Gamgee shouted vehemently.
"Hey, I still haven't showered,"
said Unshowered Ron. "Any of you ladies care to join me in a bath? Although
it would be nothing new to me, because apparently I do this sort of thing
all the time you know."
"You do what all the time?"
"Have baths with beautiful women,"
replied Out-of-Character Ron. "It helps to wash off all the chocolate
syrup and whipped cream."
Just then there were three *pops* and
B, Bill and a yet unidentified redhead suddenly reappeared in the bar. Bill
was wearing nothing but his fang earring and a loincloth. "Where have
you been? We've been so worried!" shouted Zsenya. "And who is this?"
Zsenya was staring at the new boy, who was also only wearing a loincloth.
"I was busy," said B. "Bill
really needed to be removed from his pants. This is another Weasley brother,
Charlie. Charlie works with Dragons." B was looking at Charlie admiringly.
"Check out his kewl dragon tattoo." Charlie had a tattoo of a Welsh
Green. He was able to make thin jets of fire shoot out of it's snout. The
tattoo was barely visible beyond the edge of his loincloth. "Doesn't
it Rox?" B asked. The girls all nodded in agreement.
"I see that and I'm liking it."
Arabella was staring at Bill. "I say we remove the remaining boys from
their pants as well. Shall we ladies?" Immediately the boys' clothes
were exchanged for the Good Ship's official uniform.
"Hot redheads in loincloths. Woohoo!."
Elanor exclaimed, surveying the men. She had another sip of her Gred and Forge
and that was it. She was now officially drunk. .
"You know, Elanor, you may find Harry
boring, but the two of you have a lot in common," Moey said. Harry could
barely stand and was looking down at his uniform with glazed eyes. "Both
of you are total lightweights!"
"My First Mate is turning on me!"
Elanor slurred. Arabella gave Moey a high five.
"Is there an owl-post door in this
place?" Zsenya asked, surveying the room. "I want to check my mail."
"She just wants to see if Doctor
Cornelius is back in town," Arabella laughed. "She wants to flirt
"No!" Zsenya said. "I want
to check on SQHQ."
"Yes," Elanor Gamgee said, attempting
to stand up and failing miserably. "We must find out what my Arch Nemesis
Captain of the Cruiseliner H/H is doing!" *grins at Captain Penny*
"All this talk about arch enemies
is making me thirsty," Thirsty Ron said. "George, how about some
"Coming right up!" George replied,
stepping over to the bar. He and Fred began pouring the Butterbeers while
the ladies looked longingly at the loincloths. It had become very quiet as
the girls were engrossed in what seemed to be the beginnings of Potter Porn
when two *pops* broke the silence. A tall man with dark hair and a slightly
shorter, more distinguished man with flecks of grey in his hair appeared.
"Remus, Siruis!" The loincloth
laden boys exclaimed.
"This calls for a round, I'd say!"
Fred started pouring tequila for everyone. "Two Fingers - your favorite!"
he said as he sent Sirius' and Remus' glasses flying toward them.
Zsenya and Moey had been occupying themselves
over near the wizard jukebox. After conspiring for a moment they turned as
a song began to play.
"How can I just let you walk away?
Just let you leave without a trace?" they sang.
"Oh Sirius, it's our song,"
Remus said taking his friend by the hand and looking into his dark, murky
pools of unrest. Moey and Zsenya began to cry.
"You're the only one that really
knew me at all," Moey and Zsenya were still singing between tears. "Take
a look at me now, there's just an empty space. There's nothing left here to
remind me, just the memory of your face…"
When the song ended, Still Unshowered
Ron proclaimed, "Let's put something on that's a bit more cheerful."
With a wave of his wand, REO Speedwagon began blaring through the room. Everyone
began to dance, in a 1980's Breakfast Club fashion to "I Can't Fight
This Feeling". Everyone except for B.
"B, don't you want to dance?"
"No but you can," she smiled.
"Is that your hand on my butt?"
"It sure is! Now dance." B then
turned to Charlie, "You too, Dragon-boy!"
Since Harry was too drunk to dance, Arabella
went over to look at Charlie's tattoo. "Where can we get one of those
around here?" she asked. The rest of the girls listened intently. They
were all very keen on getting tattooed after their T-shirts had turned out
"It's been outlawed in this village,"
Charlie replied. "It's an hour's broomstick ride to the next town with
a wizarding tattoo artist."
The girls were disappointed but decided
they could wait. They started dancing again to Air Supply's "Making Love
Out of Nothing at All."
When they were finished dancing, Even
Sweatier Ron once again put his suggestion out there. "You girls really
should join us for that bath."
"Oh yeah!" said Harry, barely
able to pick his head up off the table. The rest of the boys looked eagerly
at the girls.
"We have Sugarquills…." Tempting
Ron said in a singsong voice.
The girls all looked at one another when
suddenly an owl came racing in through the window, dropping a roll of parchment
into Zsenya's lap.
"What is it?" asked B with an
anxious look on her face.
"Is it urgent?" Arabella questioned,
still staring at the boys.
Zsenya held a look of horror on her face.
"It can't be!" exclaimed Moey.
"Please tell me they didn't!"
shouted Elanor Gamgee.
Zsenya looked up at her friends. "It's
happened. It's what we have feared."
As she said those words, horrified looks
spread across each and every one of the SQ girls' faces. There was an intake
of breath from the group as she said these next words…
"An H/H spy has infiltrated the Sugar
To Be Continued…..
What will happen next? Will the SQ Gals
catch the H/H spy? Will they secure SQHQ? Will Harry sober up? Will Sweaty
Ron ever get to take his bath? Will the SQ Gals get their tattoos?
Join us in six weeks to find out! Same SQ time; same SQ channel.