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Dumbledore's Army
Authorid: 553
Name: Suburban House Elf
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Professors' Bookshelf: Yes

Stories

A Visit From Saint Nicholas  ( Reviews: 20 )
Another year, another silly poem about Snape. Happy Christmas to everyone at the Sugar Quill! This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."
Last updated 12/22/06

Harry Potter and the Flowers of Mimas  ( Reviews: 214 )
Harry Potter has returned for his sixth year at Hogwarts, burdened with the task of defeating Lord Voldemort. He is not the only one. This is the story of how a prophecy may, or may not, be fulfilled - with the help of a lumpy grey cactus, fiendish Muggle technology, a snivelling Slytherin first year and a prisoner in Azkaban with spattergroit. (Written prior to the publication of HBP and plotted before the launch of JKRowling.com, this story takes into account canon up to and including OotP only.) This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."
Last updated 11/03/05

How I Vanquished the Werewolf of Wagga Wagga  ( Reviews: 49 )
“The bell rang and Lockhart got to his feet.

‘Homework: compose a poem about my defeat of the Wagga Wagga werewolf! Signed copies of Magical Me to the author of the best one!’” – Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Needless to say, the prize for best homework was never awarded. Gilderoy Lockhart instead penned his own poem on the topic, which he has recently generously permitted me to share with you. This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
Last updated 05/17/04

The Snape Who (Almost) Stole Christmas  ( Reviews: 104 )
No one knew why the Snape hated Christmas so much,
Some said facing a werewolf had scarred him a touch,
Some said serving Lord Thingy had made him a prat,
But most said it was due to a vulture-topped hat. This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
Last updated 12/08/03

Harry Potter and the Sticking Broom  ( Reviews: 228 )
Despite a brief period of excitement in February, Harry Potter has had a relatively uneventful fifth year at Hogwarts. But as the school year draws to a close, several challenges present themselves. Will Harry be able to defeat the Sticking Broom? Does Hermione have what it takes to earn a prefect badge? And will it be graduation or expulsion for the twins? This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
Last updated 10/02/03

Dear Miss Granger  ( Reviews: 27 )
There are some things far worse than failing Potions. As Hermione Granger had the misfortune to discover, passing the Potions Practical Assessment Task with flying colours can leave an unpleasant taste in one's mouth. In this epilogue to Harry Potter and the Brotherhood of the Besotted, the Ministry of Magic offers its condolences. This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
Last updated 05/07/03

Harry Potter and the Boy in the Flowerbed  ( Reviews: 38 )
Four weeks after the conclusion of Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts, strange things occur in the garden of number four Privet Drive. Who is the boy in the flowerbed? How did he get there? And, will Aunt Petunia's dahlias ever be the same again? This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
Last updated 05/05/03

Harry Potter and the Brotherhood of the Besotted  ( Reviews: 156 )
The Potions Practical Assessment task marks the beginning of the
O.W.L.s. So what does the Magical Educational Standards Board have in store for
Harry Potter and his friends? Professor Snape is terrified, Hermione runs amok and Ron runs to her rescue. Meanwhile, Harry writes some truly awful poetry. This story was written prior to the release of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
Last updated 04/21/03

Art

May You Fall Off Your Broom, You Traitorous Scumbag  ( Reviews: 35 )
Wood’s emigration (to marry the Australian Seeker, Charlene Minogue)
was, and still is, a source of great distress for British Quidditch fans. It
prompted the Weird Sisters to compose their best selling tune, May You Fall Off Your
Broom, You Traitorous Scumbag. This song is a favourite with English crowds and is
sung by them, spontaneously and loudly, whenever the English and Australian teams
meet. – Harry Potter and the Sticking Broom, Epilogue by Kennilworthy Whisp

Here are the words and music to this rousing song.
Uploaded 10/17/03

Woebegone Winky  ( Reviews: 7 )
The tiny house-elf was, as usual, in a sorrowful and agitated mood. -
Harry Potter and the Sticking Broom, Chapter 18

This is a picture of Winky, done in pencil. I’ve improved the nose from my previous effort.
Uploaded 10/17/03

Winky With Ladle  ( Reviews: 14 )
This is a pencil drawing of Winky, who has been sorely provoked by her friend, Dobby, and is about to retaliate. If you want to know what Dobby said, you'll need to read Chapter 7 of Harry Potter and the Brotherhood of the Besotted.
Uploaded 04/22/03

Strutting Dobby  ( Reviews: 39 )
Here's a pencil drawing of Dobby, wearing all his Valentine's Day presents. He appears on the Gryffindor table, thus attired, in Chapter 10 of Harry Potter and the Brotherhood of the Besotted.
Uploaded 04/19/03


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