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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 23
| Reviewer: Melissa | Date: 2005-10-08 |
| Reviewid: 134000 | Chapter: 1 |
| U should really write a story that goes before and after this time. Heven Help u come up with an idea. |
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| Reviewer: Serendipity | Date: 2005-08-25 |
| Reviewid: 130850 | Chapter: 1 |
| Dont listen to the person below me...those were minor details! It was good! Whens the next?! |
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| Reviewer: Cait | Date: 2005-04-18 |
| Reviewid: 119884 | Chapter: 1 |
Victorian times! Even the wizarding world wouldn't be that far behind. In a world were you can have a female pub owner and people like Lily, surely you can have women fighting. I can not imagine Hermione and Ginny and most other women portrayed in the books just sitting back and knitting hats.
Also Hermione wouldn't be that free with the secrecy act either, only her immediate family are meant to know. |
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| Reviewer: Eh.. | Date: 2005-03-18 |
| Reviewid: 116886 | Chapter: 1 |
| It was quite good, and then you got to the whole "typical teenage drama" thing with Hermonie. And then it got good again with the code cracking. Soo.. all in all nice work. |
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| Reviewer: Jody | Date: 2004-07-28 |
| Reviewid: 94418 | Chapter: 1 |
| I really liked this tale I hope there will me more tales to this story as you have me all intrigued here. |
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| Reviewer: Lady Norbert | Date: 2003-08-24 |
| Reviewid: 48412 | Chapter: 1 |
Interesting beginning, and I've got to check out the other chapters. There's a minor technical error in this chapter, though:
"Tom was not his real name; he had been the unfortunate recipient of Aunt Judith's obsession with Greek and Roman ancient mythology. Tom had been christened Thor, and in his mind there was no worse name."
Thor was the god of thunder in Norse mythology, not Greek or Roman. Sorry, I'm a stickler for details like that! I'll try to behave in the other chapters. ;) |
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| Reviewer: cordelia | Date: 2003-07-01 |
| Reviewid: 39477 | Chapter: 1 |
write more write more write more write more!!!!
other than that this is really cool. |
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| Reviewer: SamIAm | Date: 2003-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 23615 | Chapter: 1 |
First I'd just like to say that this is a really well written story. It flows well and is a good read. I like how it ends up in the air and leaves you wondering.
The problem, though, is that it really doesn't fit in the Harry Potter world. You break rules left and right(apparating onto Hogwarts grounds) and really take everyone out of character, like canon Harry would never say "Oh God...What does he want now" about Colin. Harry has inhuman patience with everyone in the books (Malfoy and Snape excluded of course) and you take that away here.
You're a good writer, but if you're building on someone else's stories you have to try to stick to them.
Oh and FYI Thor is the Norse God of Thunder, he isn't in Greek or Roman mythology. |
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| Reviewer: Marion | Date: 2003-03-01 |
| Reviewid: 22280 | Chapter: 1 |
| What about anti-muggle security, i'm assuming that they aren't wiches or wizards seem rather dumb of hermione to tell her friends that, she has always been very worried about anti-muggle security! Other than that one HUGE problem it's a very good story keep up the work! |
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| Reviewer: Rockap | Date: 2003-02-28 |
| Reviewid: 22199 | Chapter: 1 |
| Pretty good start, but aren't you going to continue? The story has a lot of potential, os keep working at it. Don't get discouraged and continue writing. I can't wait to see what will happen with Hermione by herself and Harry and Ron with the war. You have so much more writing to do if you actually want to finish the story, which I hope you will finish. You shouldn't end it so abruptley so keep writing. There is so many more things that you can write about. Like I said, this story has GREAT potential so KEEP WORKING at it. Good luck. I can't wait to see the end product! |
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| Reviewer: Lourdes | Date: 2003-02-07 |
| Reviewid: 19306 | Chapter: 1 |
| It started off well. But, the ending is very weak. Also, why typewriters? Seems bizarre for wizards? THis has potential but needs a lot of work. |
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| Reviewer: Me | Date: 2002-08-17 |
| Reviewid: 2292 | Chapter: 1 |
| OMG You have gotta continue! Please don't leave me in suspense! This story is written so well! Pleeeeeease make another chapter!!!!! |
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| Reviewer: Valerie | Date: 2002-08-08 |
| Reviewid: 1425 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow. That is really good. I just really, really want there to be more! Keep writing! |
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