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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 38

Reviewer: SeluneDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117957Chapter: 1
Have I ever properl ythanked yo ufor this-one? Man this was a blast t oreread after three years. whooo! constant vigilance indeed. thank yo uvery very much.

Reviewer: CarmaBELLEDate: 2004-12-15
Reviewid: 107849Chapter: 1
mE LIKEE.But you know the black forest isn't in Bavaria, right?

Reviewer: bored rainy day haterDate: 2004-12-13
Reviewid: 107681Chapter: 1
interesting ..... It explains a lot..........: )

Reviewer: Danny BaileyDate: 2004-09-17
Reviewid: 98502Chapter: 1
Oh, that was just great! What college wouldn't want a sincerely honest young man of such strong principles? So very in character of Moody. It's just as one would imagine him. How entertaining!

Reviewer: LizzyDate: 2004-06-28
Reviewid: 89256Chapter: 1
nice, but not very canon (in OotP theres a pic of Moody with 2 eyes from just before HP's Olds died) but what the hey ... funnily written! Love the stray Bludger idea!

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2004-06-14
Reviewid: 87051Chapter: 1
Still catching up on reviews!

This is a good backstory for Moody. I think you chose a good time to set it and played the time period well within the story.

And once again, the bait & switch that you do so well...here I was expecting to read about some particularly tough combat that caused the loss of his eye. Constant vigilance, indeed!

Reviewer: RikDate: 2004-06-07
Reviewid: 86142Chapter: 1
That was very unique and interesting. Especially since we don't know too much about Alastor Moody. Good job.

Reviewer: Jolie BlackDate: 2003-12-12
Reviewid: 63089Chapter: 1
LOL at the last line!


Ahem. Forgive my nitpicking, but just for the sake of geographical accuracy, the Black Forest is NOT in Bavaria. (Trust me to know, I LIVE there. ;))

Also, doesn't it say in GoF that Moody still had two good eyes at the time of Karkaroff's trial? I'm confused. Oh, so yes, I think I'm slowly grasping the concept of AU fics. Never mind me.

Reviewer: kristineDate: 2003-11-12
Reviewid: 59821Chapter: 1
nice. very nice. ^_^ you captured moody perfectly. i really likd it. ^_^

Reviewer: elokinDate: 2003-11-08
Reviewid: 59254Chapter: 1
Excellent! I loved how you led the reader on expecting one thing and then delivered quite another. It made me think about assumptions I had made about Moody in the books.

Good job.

elokin

Reviewer: Kate LynnDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49501Chapter: 1
Moody is one of my favorite characters in HP canon, so I was so happy to see that you wrote something with him!

Overall - It was just really enjoyable to read. I love it when a favorite character of mine is treated well, not only character-wise, but also just well-written and in a believable yet original story. You always seem to do that, which I admire and enjoy thoroughly. It was humorous and IC, and wonderfully written. But, you know I love your writing.

Moody - was IC. He always does provide humor for me in the books, but not in a slapstick way, and you captured him perfectly. He's portrayed as quirky and straightforward, but realistic. I like the details you add, such as his connection to his father. It fleshed him out, but he still retained the Moody center, even though he's younger and a bit more pleasant than I imagine. Of course, it IS a resume and he's smart and younger, so it makes sense he would be so here. And he's still got a bit of an edge, and his thoughts and the details are right on, so he was still a completely believable IC Moody to me. What I also loved was the past you crafted for Moody. With the experiences you gave him, I totally buy that he turned into the canon Moody we know. Very deftly done, not over drawn but just filling in the pieces nicely. The way he is now, I can just see how he hardened more during the Voldie war to become the cynical, rough, wry, but amusing Mad Eye Moody.

Gestapo and Grindy - nice detail to add. When I write stories in that era, I always like to include a mention of the war time if it fits. It paints an immediate picture of the timeframe, and it's a nice parallel as well, depending on how you can interpret Grindy.

-Kate Lynn

Reviewer: KellyDate: 2003-08-25
Reviewid: 48585Chapter: 1
very interesting story... ...though i found it a little confusing.

Reviewer: Accio_SnapeDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43752Chapter: 1
That was simply wonderful. And I think the best part about it is if you submitted that as your essay for a college application, you would probably get in. Admissions officers like originality . . . and humor.

Reviewer: Jennifer PetersonDate: 2003-07-23
Reviewid: 43510Chapter: 1
You are a great and funny author

Reviewer: Newbia the ElfDate: 2003-05-21
Reviewid: 32923Chapter: 1
Confused:What the bleep happened when Grindewald attacked?If he lost his eye,why did he get such a weird one in return?

But still good:"So, there you have it. The importance of constant vigilance,"hahaha.

Reviewer: Night RainDate: 2003-02-21
Reviewid: 21404Chapter: 1
Dear Codfishies! >o >o >o
What a weird thing to write! It's an interesting little theory, okay, and it certainly explains the "constant vigilance" obsession, but can you say "peculiar"? Well, I like it anyway. Although...Mam and Papi...? Riiiiight.

Reviewer: Fawkes101Date: 2003-02-14
Reviewid: 20285Chapter: 1
This is a great fic.... very unusual. I liked it a lot. When you mentioned Grindelwald's Geastapo (not sure if I spelled it right), I realized you were righting about WW II and kind of taking that situation and putting it in the wizarding world. I still don't understand what Moody's father was doing. The way he lost his eye was very interesting, especially the barmaids. :) Great story again.

Reviewer: Jessica NicoleDate: 2003-02-05
Reviewid: 19148Chapter: 1
I absolutely love your writing. I do.

The simpilty of the events leading to the loss of his second 'normal' eye was genuis..

I love this.

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2003-01-12
Reviewid: 16020Chapter: 1
Ahhh, now everything's clearer with Moody! ;) Great job...btw, did he get accepted? (kidding)

Reviewer: PiperDate: 2003-01-08
Reviewid: 15553Chapter: 1
Oh, that's great! I love the idea that his parents operated a safe house during WWII. And "constant vigilance" has just taken on new meaning. :-)

Reviewer: MadhuriDate: 2003-01-01
Reviewid: 14688Chapter: 1
This is wonderful! Such a delightful peek into Moody's life. I love all the little touches- 'long may she reign' especially made me laugh. It's very interesting to see why Moody might have chosen to lead the life he did, and the last line is just perfect. I loved this!

Reviewer: CorgiDate: 2002-12-31
Reviewid: 14587Chapter: 1
Aside from appreciating the wonderfully rich detailling, all I have to say is that I absolutely cracked up at 'anything that didnít have opposable thumbs.' :D :D :D

Reviewer: laurenDate: 2002-12-29
Reviewid: 14301Chapter: 1
Very cool.

Reviewer: MarshaDate: 2002-12-28
Reviewid: 14256Chapter: 1
Very funny, I would have never thought of doing something like this... It really is believable...
Nice work.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2002-12-27
Reviewid: 14134Chapter: 1
*sinks into chair clutching her bottle of 1986 to her chest* Mmmm. . .

It is so typically Moody to have him introduce himself with that rather startling revelation. He is nothing if not straightforward and frank. He's also very polite in this; it makes one wonder if he hasn't become jaded/experienced enough yet to casually sling curses around, or if he's simply been brought up by a manners-preaching mama who taught him to veil his natural speech with the pleasantries of etiquette. Hmm. . .

He certainly has an eye for detail, remembering the "green, wart-covered hand of a bald, bug-eyed wizard" from five years previous. This will certainly serve him well as an Auror, and is a nice, subtle way to draw attention to that facet of his personality. Just look at all the various Dark Magic-detecting devices he had in his office; one can never rely on anything, so it's better to be safe and use lots. Or lots and lots, in Moody's case :D

Grindelwald's Gestapo! Until I read this, I hadn't realized that World War II and the war against Grindelwald happened at roughly the same time. And Dumbledore's British, and Britain was one of the Allies. . . Talk about a giant plot bunny. I can easily see someone writing an epic fic about this. I'm always amazed when people pick up on little clues like this that JKR drops. Very perceptive of you, Axelle.

> I realised then that my father did what he did in this world because there is rarely the luxury of advanced notice when you need it.

Indeed. An experience like this would certainly have opened Moody's eyes to that fact, and served him well in the war against Voldemort (even if he did end up with a leg and large chunks of face missing; nobody's perfect).

A very well-reasoned and thoughtfully-written piece, Axelle. It's intriguing seeing Moody as a wryly-humorous, eloquently-tongued teenager, before the war with Voldemort so literally scarred him and made him cynical. You pick up on all the various aspects of his personality and take them back to where they must have begun very successfully in for a short piece. You've captured him very well, I think.

I'd love to see what his years Ulfric-Borstal Academy were like. . .

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2002-12-17
Reviewid: 12972Chapter: 1
LOL This is hilarious, Axelle! I reached this fic thru the Pensieve challenge thread. The idea to have canon characters do college application essays is very interesting and I was curious to see how you'd do it. I loved reading about little Alastor and his family. Great job!

Reviewer: TikalDate: 2002-12-17
Reviewid: 12949Chapter: 1
*laughs*

Brilliant! So wonderfully "Mad-Eye"!

Reviewer: A.L. de Sauveterre to B. NonymousDate: 2002-12-16
Reviewid: 12931Chapter: 1
Oooo! As regards the eye... <ahem!> good... erm... eye, B. :P

LOL!

Axelle

Reviewer: Persephone_KoreDate: 2002-12-16
Reviewid: 12927Chapter: 1
*snickers* Very amusing. I think I was hooked from the first paragraph, especially the part about how Moody is, in fact, a great advocate of advanced notice.

And along with the humor, it does make sense for Alastor to have been inspired by his father... though I am inclined to wonder why there was so much dust on the floor of the shop. Ah well. It was useful dust. Hopefully Alastor and Alvin muddled up the trail so Grindelwald's lot couldn't ask what was up with all the little frogprints.

As for the eye: Oops.

Reviewer: B. NonymousDate: 2002-12-16
Reviewid: 12921Chapter: 1
Nice background, Axelle. I've seen lots of fic with Moody vs. Grindelwald's minions, and this is another fine example of this! (Esp. that you make him younger - showing his Auror years really took it out of him.)

There's one canon inconsistency, though. Read pg. 588 of book 4, where, via the Pensieve, Moody is seen having "two normal eyes".

Reviewer: JKDate: 2002-12-16
Reviewid: 12882Chapter: 1
Excellent work, Axelle! This is such a fgnatastic idea, and reading it does help me understand sort of what to dow ith mine, although you make me feel it will be inadequate. I lvoed the way you managed to create the vocie of a yougn Moody: and show us why he believes so much in constant vigilance.

And I like that you have him lose his eye in something as (moderately) mundane as a Quiddicth match.

Bravo.

Yours in fanfiction,

JK

Reviewer: DurayanDate: 2002-12-16
Reviewid: 12814Chapter: 1
Wow! You really have mastered the art of the unexpected! Excellent use of Moody's voice in this! I can just hear him! Wonder what the admissions committee did with this?

Your writing is quite enchanting! Off to read your long piece!

Reviewer: mincotDate: 2002-12-16
Reviewid: 12813Chapter: 1
Hilarious! Although, as someone who has read a lot of the blasted essays, I'm not sure it would have gotten him into this school .... on the other hand, we value cheekiness and creativity. (Although, as Catherine pointed out, he needs composition practice.)

Rugi wrote : Heh heh! The eye was lost to a bludger instead of in the line of combat. Very funny. Mincot replies: (grin) How do you know he didn't think that Quidditch is in the line of combat? From this I can see him being rather Wood-esque (Wood-en?) :)

Nice job!

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2002-12-16
Reviewid: 12793Chapter: 1
Hilarious! I'd never thought about what sort of childhood Moody must have had, but the one that you've imagined for him is perfect. Unconventional, and it sounds like he's a real chip off the old block, with his parents running a safehouse in the war against Grindelwald.

The story about how he lost his eye was also perfect. No wonder he's such a stickler for "constant vigilance!"

Reviewer: BeckyDate: 2002-12-15
Reviewid: 12761Chapter: 1
"If you&#8217;ve ever been to Bayern&#8217;s pitch, you might have noticed that those Little Bayern barmaids on the field can be rather distracting.
So, there you have it. The importance of constant vigilance. "

Brilliant! Hilarious. Thank the gods above I'm past college applications..

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-12-15
Reviewid: 12714Chapter: 1
"The Black Forest is a great place to hide if youíre a wizard on the run from customs inspectors and the Magical Inland Revenue, which is exactly what my father, Aelfred Moody, was doing"

You have such a wonderful waying of conveying important information hilariously. It makes a nice counterpoint to all of the seriousness.

I also really like how you managed to put in some historical stuff about Grindelwald. I wanted to learn more about that war. Moody's little peek into it was interesting.

Heh heh! The eye was lost to a bludger instead of in the line of combat. Very funny.

I have to add that I always resented those application essays because I never felt like anything of interest ever happened to me. I always imagined that everyone else had rescues from guerilla fighters or battles with rare deseases to discuss.

Moody is obviously one of the people who has lived an uncomfortably interesting life.

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2002-12-15
Reviewid: 12706Chapter: 1
I thought Moody came off as earnest and young in this essay.

I also thought that he could have benefitted from a semester of composition 1. :)

Catherine

Reviewer: oybolshoiDate: 2002-12-15
Reviewid: 12704Chapter: 1
Brilliant! I love moody's take on "constant vigilance" even at a young age, and I just about died laughing at the way he lost his eye - I hope someone gave him a complimentary beer.

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