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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 45

Reviewer: june luttrellDate: 2005-10-10
Reviewid: 134205Chapter: 18
i hope yu will continue with this storyline i find it very interesting and i enjoy youor writing style.

Reviewer: readerDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111190Chapter: 18
read it all and quite enjoyed
excellent, more please

Reviewer: Rebecca JJDate: 2004-06-30
Reviewid: 89737Chapter: 11
Good story. Lots of cool ideas.
You like to be a little too cryptic, I think, and left lots of questions hanging everywhere.
Like, why did Eden consider Harry "hers"? That is the full focus and title of the fic, but it wasn't answered. Why did Dumbledore choose her to be linked to Harry? Unsafe position to put a 15 year old girl, I think, if only because of hormones.
Why doesn't Judas keep his wife with him (a la 'Ladyhawke')? She obviously still has her mind. Why was Eden mad at Draco? For telling his father she was there? She was publicly sorted and openly at the school. Obviously Lucious would hear about it.

Ah, the questions. Cool story, good writing. I would love to read more stories by you. :)

Reviewer: g. s.Date: 2004-04-02
Reviewid: 76868Chapter: 18
Tell me this isn't the end. It's too good to be left there. Where's the sequel?

Reviewer: Myster WebDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51717Chapter: 10
"Trouble? Well, that gave them something in common, then. In fact at the moment we have rather too much in common, he thought, feeling her short hair brush against the back of his neck."
I love your story! MORE!

Reviewer: Myster WebDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51716Chapter: 10
"Trouble? Well, that gave them something in common, then. In fact at the moment we have rather too much in common, he thought, feeling her short hair brush against the back of his neck."

Reviewer: AllieDate: 2003-09-08
Reviewid: 51416Chapter: 18
I've been reading your story for quite awhile now and I loved it. I don't want it to end. Please write another to go with this one. I'm dying to see what happens
Allie

Reviewer: poison ivyDate: 2003-09-08
Reviewid: 51329Chapter: 18
whoa. that was awesome.

Reviewer: MicheleDate: 2003-09-07
Reviewid: 51258Chapter: 1
Please don't leave us hanging so long...This is really good!

Reviewer: mmaryDate: 2003-09-05
Reviewid: 50880Chapter: 16
wow. That's the only word for it. Wow. DOubleyew Oh DOubleyew. OK. Anyways, this is a really really gresat story I am just coming back from inside the story. Keep up your writing.

Reviewer: C. LordeDate: 2003-08-22
Reviewid: 48225Chapter: 1
the best part is when you called Voldemort Voldy. I don't know that I'll ever be able to take him seriously again.

Reviewer: beatrizDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43764Chapter: 9
Okay, I'm waiting. I know that sometimes life throws us curves but I want to know what happens. I like the character of Eden. She's feisty!.

Reviewer: ElliottDate: 2003-07-16
Reviewid: 42248Chapter: 6
Technically good. Nice new character. Good sense of mood. Need to work on your dialog and prose - a bit too "on the nose." What you don't say is as important as what you do...

Reviewer: JayneDate: 2003-07-15
Reviewid: 42126Chapter: 9
I read your excellent Snapefic and decided to give this one a go. I read straight through the nine chapters. I must know more! I must know why Margaret ended up with Judas! I am convinced that is where this is headed! Brilliant!

Reviewer: JulieDate: 2003-07-15
Reviewid: 42068Chapter: 9
You have to finish this story soon!! It's good and I really want to know what happens!

Reviewer: P BDate: 2003-06-29
Reviewid: 38982Chapter: 1
Are we there yet? (oops) Are you done yet? We are waiting.

Reviewer: AvalonDate: 2003-06-27
Reviewid: 38763Chapter: 7
It was a wonderful and stimulating story. I would highly reccomend it.

Reviewer: Susan E.Date: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38072Chapter: 9
I really enjoyed your story so far and look forward to reading the rest. Don't make us wait too long! It's very well written and really kept my interest.

Reviewer: samDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38001Chapter: 1
do u no hu dies in da 5th potter books

Reviewer: C OlsonDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 37922Chapter: 1
????????? Okay, where are they? The names siad it wasn't Hogwarts. Okay is this Malfoy good or bad. Won't Sirius have to go to the dementors now because he was caught. PLease write on.
--1 more day

Reviewer: Blue OceanDate: 2003-03-03
Reviewid: 22572Chapter: 5
I am completely wowed by your writing. It is really great! Who is this Eden girl? I can't wait to find out. Keep it going!

The best thing about your fic is its solid plot and incredible writing.

The only thing I don't like is how short your chapters are.

Reviewer: JKDate: 2003-01-13
Reviewid: 16103Chapter: 2
Fantastic use of light humour and comic relief, especially these lines which left me grinning.

‘What are you, the queen of understatement?’ Ron threw back, causing Hermione to give him a dirty look. ‘He looks like Mad-Eye Moody just whispered “ferret” in his ear!’

‘Well, perhaps that means they’re not related,’ she returned with calm logic, ‘otherwise he would’ve known she was coming and wouldn’t be looking like that.’

‘Hey, if I was called Malfoy and I wasn’t one, then I’d have changed my name.’


The Ravenclaws looked rather shocked at this, but managed some half-hearted clapping, led mostly by the house prefects.


Now I'm curious as to what exactly she's doing at Hogwarts. The first chapter certainly managed to get my attention and keep up suspense!

Yours in fanfiction,

JK

Reviewer: JKDate: 2003-01-13
Reviewid: 16101Chapter: 1
Your description is extremely poetic. Eden's view of the dawn and the approach of Buckbeak was beautifully described in a way that made images spring to life in my mind's eye.

The new characters seem interesting,a dn I'd like to find out more about Eden and her father. :-)

Nice work.

Yours in fanfiction,

JK

Reviewer: Sally Sue SpeckliaDate: 2003-01-08
Reviewid: 15600Chapter: 5
PLEEEZE PLEEEEZE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE KEEP RITING! HONESTLY! I NEED ALL THE ENTERTAINMENT I CAN GET UNTIL BOOK FIVE COMES OUT AND I REALLY LIKE YOUR STORY! RITE FAST!

Reviewer: MistralDate: 2003-01-07
Reviewid: 15499Chapter: 5
I really liked the beginning of this story - you made me want to know more about Eden and Judas right from the start (and I still don't know much about Judas, grr, :). I'm glad Eden didn't get sorted into Gryffindor or Slytherin - makes a nice contrast with the rest of the "new fifth-year comes to Hogwarts" fics. Besides, we Ravenclaws need recognition, lol. She's definitely a Malfoy, too, even though she's likeable, and it's neat that you could do that.

I'm waiting for some action to happen, but I am enjoying the characterizations!

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-01-07
Reviewid: 15422Chapter: 4
This was very nice. I liked the differences in the Weasley twins' reaction to possibly becoming captains of the team, and the phrase "the collected works of Oliver Wood" was hilarious, as well as so very fitting.

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-01-07
Reviewid: 15421Chapter: 2
"He looks like Mad-Eye Moody just whispered 'ferret' in his ear!" LOL! I thoroughly enjoyed that bit! And onward I go again, because I am dying to read about how Eden interacts with the Ravenclaws and with Draco :)

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-01-07
Reviewid: 15419Chapter: 1
Wow! What a beautiful beginning. I enjoyed your descriptions of the changing sky. Eden and her classmates seem like a very interesting bunch, too. I'm off to read more!

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2003-01-06
Reviewid: 15371Chapter: 5
The thought of Harry thinking he's turning into Snape...priceless!

Hmmm...I thought we would find out who took Harry's Snitch! I like the interaction between he and Eden - it was awkward and realistic.

You've gotten into Harry's head really well. He's just a little older than canon Harry, but he rings true in his reactions to things. As your chapters progress, your writing seems to be getting more sophisticated and is flowing better! Great job!

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2003-01-06
Reviewid: 15370Chapter: 4
>His final owl, fortunately a large eagle owl, had arrived bearing this birthday present – a set of Quidditch balls – and a note telling Harry how proud his father would be that he was now vice-captain of the Gryffindor team.

Excellent detail, and very in-character. It sounds like something he would have given James.


>Fred had run around the common room screaming, ‘The power, just think of the power!’

LOL! Perfect.

>he began to create and discard various theories concerning his missing Snitch. Some had red hair. Some were more troubling.

This is a wonderful, WONDERFUL ending to this chapter. Very skillful few sentences.

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2003-01-06
Reviewid: 15368Chapter: 3
I like this chapter! This is so Ron:

>Ron pushed an annoyed Hermione up a few steps to get a better view.

Snape and Draco are very much in character, and I like how you establish this by their words and actions rather than describing it for us. Eden gets more and more interesting - a curly wand? Cool!

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-01-05
Reviewid: 15340Chapter: 5
Nice work, Amy!

It's a great idea that there's a branch of Malfoys that don't fit in. I really am going to like Eden as a character.

Catherine

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-01-05
Reviewid: 15239Chapter: 3
Your writing just improves and improves with each successive chapter. Draco is *perfect*--the way he plays to the audience, the "carefully balanced mixture of disapproval and condescension"; you just love to hate him.

And these glimpses we're getting of Eden are so intriguing. She remains good-humored in the face of Draco's careful attempts at baiting her, which is such a nice contrast to the trio. She's like a young Lupin; good-humored and relatively unflappable. What did she do to Snape to make him turn and go like that? Hmm. . .

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-01-05
Reviewid: 15238Chapter: 2
Another excellent chapter. I really like the chemistry and action between the trio, and especially with Hermione and Ron. Ron's sarcastic comments are delightful and very much in character.

I'm very curious about Eden now. A Malfoy who wasn't sorted into Slytherin? And whose presence at Hogwarts Draco wasn't expecting? Sounds intriguing indeed.

And I have to know what happened after Sirius passed out at the end of the last chapter. . .

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-01-05
Reviewid: 15234Chapter: 1
Wow--you write one heck of a cliffhanger ending! I'm glad the next chapter's been written already so I don't have to wait in suspense!

Your descriptions are a bit flowery in places, which detracts from what is otherwise a very well-written, tightly-plotted first chapter. It's not that big of a deal, really, but it contrasts with wonderful lines like this:

> Her father rushed forward and lifted one end of the heap, which resolved itself into a bedraggled, knotted head of hair.

Just enough description to have readers visualize the scene in their heads, but it's not overdone. Your dialogue is excellent. Stichomythia works well here to keep the pace fast. You also have great taste in names :D

Off to read the next chapter!

Reviewer: martyDate: 2003-01-03
Reviewid: 15108Chapter: 1
I really like this. Your names mean something & that is in keeping with the HP series. I hope Judas betrayed Lucius
is a very big way. I can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2003-01-03
Reviewid: 15086Chapter: 2
>The Ravenclaws looked rather shocked at this, but managed some half-hearted clapping,

Hee! I bet they have no idea what to do about this!

The dialogue between the Trio was good - I would have liked to see a little more of it in this scene, actually! It's a good transition from your first chapter - we already know a bit about Eden, and it was much more effective for us to see her in her own environment than to just have the Trio (or others) talk about her.

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2003-01-03
Reviewid: 15082Chapter: 1
Oh, wow! Excellent, what an ending! I like your descriptions, rooting the story in a sense of place, and for some reason Judas hooked me in from his first appearance - don't know why, but he did.

Eden, also is interesting - a Seer, perhaps?

The story begins so well. I especially like this line:

>Shivering, she drew the thin cotton of her school-robes around her more tightly and peered over the balcony hoping to see a few glimmers of light piercing the thick rock walls below, indicating that the kitchen genies were also starting to think about breakfast.

It shows we aren't in England, quite possibly in the East, just by the mention of genies. Excellent, subtle way of marking that we aren't in the usual HP universe.

Reviewer: meggsDate: 2003-01-02
Reviewid: 14813Chapter: 5
i really like your story so far. It's light and airy and just plain fun to read! And i rather do think it is a good idea!...making snowball men and throwing them about! sounds like great fun. next chapter please!

Reviewer: AlanDate: 2002-12-27
Reviewid: 14137Chapter: 1
I thought South Wind & Stars was a little the worse for purple description, but I read on. I'm glad I did. The plot idea is great and could easily sustain a book. The atmosphere and dialogue are right and the humour easily written. Would love to read more!

Reviewer: MerusaDate: 2002-12-24
Reviewid: 13861Chapter: 4
This seems very, very good, but I hope it doesn't turn into a Harry/OC story. I learned my lesson with those...

But, I like it so far. Do keep writing fast!

Reviewer: AliDate: 2002-12-24
Reviewid: 13800Chapter: 1
What happened to Sirius?

Reviewer: meggsDate: 2002-12-23
Reviewid: 13713Chapter: 3
i like this story so far!! you've really kept them in character!!! next chapter please!!

Reviewer: CallieDate: 2002-12-21
Reviewid: 13548Chapter: 2
Cool story

Reviewer: amulderDate: 2002-12-20
Reviewid: 13381Chapter: 1
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