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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: A Night in Azkaban
Review(s): 10

Reviewer: lizDate: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119880Chapter: 1
kewl! i lik it alot bt where the continuation?! there should b 1 afta all! u gt me intrigued! rite on!

Reviewer: EmmaDate: 2005-04-04
Reviewid: 118648Chapter: 1
This is a wonderful story

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2003-02-12
Reviewid: 20021Chapter: 1
>The moon, witness to so many episodes in his life, was silent

This is lovely!

I like young, impetuous Sirius, and the fact that Peter has a 'bevy.' I can imagine him being very funny, and attracting girls through his wit.

>"Well, being rude is no way to treat your most valued magical possession, is it, you great oaf? Say ‘please’ and try again," the wand said cheekily.

This is so Remus-like! I love it.

>Padfoot’s fur and Harry’s hair, which were indistinguishable from each other

Awwww...

Your Gilderoy is priceless - and again, I'm fascinated by your rendition of Peter. He more than holds his own with Sirius, and so many writers make him a sort of fourth wheel.

This is a great interpretation of the Mauraders and their relationships!

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2003-02-09
Reviewid: 19660Chapter: 1
I think you did a wonderful job with the actual scenes in Azkaban, as well as the past. It really does a lot to illustrate what Sirius lost when his friends were killed. The actual betrayal comes through so well, I especially thought, with the idea that Snape wasn't the one he should have worried about. How do you ever trust anyone again--and yet, I feel like he will.

Reviewer: JyriDate: 2003-02-09
Reviewid: 19658Chapter: 1
Wooo! You really shouldn't have told me you'd done one of these, you know. Now I'm going to try my best to give you Weasley Red Ears™.

I was going to do a play by play review, but I realised I'd only end up with the fic pasted in here and an 'Awwwww' or 'Woaaahhhhh' or 'Sniffle' between every paragraph.

I've read a lot of these kind of Azkabanned!Sirius fics, but never has one made me laugh and cry so much within such a short space. Blimmin' great!

*thumbs up*

~Jyri

Reviewer: Zephyrus ProlixityDate: 2003-02-06
Reviewid: 19241Chapter: 1
I have already told you what an outstanding job you've done.
But since that was over on Weird_Sisters and not in this more
Official setting, I thought I'd say so once more. This story ROX.

I especially love the view you give us of Firstyear!Sirius.
And Padfoot being Harry's first word! Oh my we know that just had to have happened don't we.

I'd give this Full-marks.

Zephyrus Prolixity

Reviewer: AlkariDate: 2003-02-06
Reviewid: 19226Chapter: 1
I am sure Jedi is delighted at this outtake, and would be happy for you to play in her sandbox in future. It's an excellent and thoughtful piece of writing.

One of the things I liked was that his reminiscences are not chronological, but follow a train of thought, and are a series of images and memmories as his thoughts run from one idea to another. It was extremely well done, and just like you do have memories and flashbacks in RL.

Some of your wording and imagery was excellent, and very evocative. Ones I liked:-

"The moon stared down at him defiantly, daring him to remember how he had come to this, what he had left behind."

"How far their lives had strayed from the paths they all thought they would take."

"Who knew how long Sirius would rot there in Azkaban? He had already missed Harry’s first steps. Would he miss Harry’s first day of school, his first joke, his first crush as well?"

Loved the scene where he taught Harry "Padfoot", and the interplay with James.

Alkari

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-02-06
Reviewid: 19211Chapter: 1
How nice! I like how you wove Sirius' memories into a scene of him at Azkaban. The archer's window was a nice detail (to show how little light his cell probably had) and having Lockhart in Hogwarts at around the same time was hilarious. I knew he was a mama's boy! LOL

I loved the Baby Harry scene. I like reading about him having a happy childhood -- at least he HAD one even if he was too little to remember it. And having Padfoot play with Harry was a nice touch. It doesn't explain why Harry was never afraid of the Grim, but I could sort of relate it to that bit in PoA. That's just me rambling :)

Great job as always! Back to work for me now...

Reviewer: RavenSnapeDate: 2003-02-06
Reviewid: 19198Chapter: 1
First JB posts and it's not a DoY or MoT. Then you post and it's not Many Waters. Are you two trying to drive me mad?????

Truthfully told though, you do Sirius very well. <<He then picked Harry up by his shirtback and jumped onto the couch, curling into protective ball around his charge.>>
This is the best part IMHO. There is nothing more wonderful than finding your child protected, cared and loved for. I truly hope that James and Lily know that Sirius was not the traitor....ARRGGGGG>>>Plot Bunny Attack!!!!!! Emma, I'm going to kill you. I gotta go and write...now...story...plot...James and Lilly must know!!!!!!

Elizabeth.

Reviewer: A.L. de SauveterreDate: 2003-02-06
Reviewid: 19194Chapter: 1
Emma, what an amazingly lovely, yet very sad slice out of Sirius Black's life. All the trauma, all the scars of his friends' tragedy are livid and stil fresh, and you show that wonderfully here without once going over the top.

That first italicised paragraph is haunting and lyrical in its description -- it really takes you there, and you can see and touch his cell.

And ten-year-old Sirius is just as credibly portrayed:

<<There was a loud thud from upstairs as something very heavy&#8212;and probably very expensive&#8212;was dropped onto the floor, followed by a loud whooping as Sirius pounded down the stairs again.

"I&#8217;m going to Hogwarts! I got into Hogwarts! Bloody hell&#8212;I&#8217;m going to meet Professor Dumbledore! I have eighteen of his Chocolate Frog cards, you know, that&#8217;s ten more than any other wizard I have. I can&#8217;t wait to show him my collection&#8212;"

Mrs Black laughed. "Sweetheart, I&#8217;m sure Professor Dumbledore is already quite familiar with his own accomplishments."

Sirius waved aside her comment, his face flushed with excitement.

"When can we go to Diagon Alley? There&#8217;s a whole list of things I have to get." He brandished the letter, Hogwarts seal torn carelessly in half.>>

The casual depiction of this entire scene belies the depth of intimacy of the bond between the young Sirius and his mother. And the smallest (but telltale) facial and other gestures are skillfully and subtly observed.

And you quite expertly shift from the warmth of each happy memory to the jarring cold of the present reality when we're taken back to his Azkaban cell. The abrupt shifts of emotion work well here and we can almost feel the same mounting anxiety and pain of loss that Sirius himself must feel!

And his sense of grief and guilt are masterfully captured:

<<How many other people had he inadvertently put in danger, simply by being their acquaintance?...

Sirius had counted the number of full moons since his arrival at Azkaban. Sixteen. Sixteen transformations Remus had had to suffer through, alone. How had he fared without his companions, alone for the first time in ten years? How had his mild-mannered friend dealt with the further blow Sirius' apparent betrayal must have been? There hadn't even been a chance to say goodbye. He had been so consumed with grief-stricken rage that there hadn't been time to tell Remus what had happened. He hadn't even left a note.>>

Sirius's and Remus's attempt at casual conversation in the face of war is quite timely these days, too, and is something to which we can all probably relate. ("Silence seemed to be preying upon them all these days.") That said, I'm glad to see that they haven't lost their senses of humour -- Remus in particular! (Remus choked back a laugh. "&#8216;Stud&#8217;? Is that what they&#8217;re calling them these days? I thought it was &#8216;yellow-bellied, peacock-garbed, gnome-brained fop&#8217;, but that could just be me being behind the times, as usual." -- I LOVE that! :D )

And I could SEE that entire episode of their trick on Snape (the poor hunted little thing! No wonder he turned out to be such a miserable crabapple! ;) ) And more Cesara! She just gets more loathesome the more I see of her. I guess SHE's definitely one of the ones they ought to have worried about. :/

I think out of all the flashbacks, if I could have picked one to relive with Sirius (yes, a woman should be so lucky) it would HAVE to be his babysitting Harry. *melts* I admit that that scene reduced me to an incoherent quivering little mass. *sigh* Death By Cuteness. I LOVED ALL of IT!

<<"No, no, no. Padfoot. Pad-foot. Can you say that, Harry? Padfoot?"

Harry blinked up at Sirius. "Pahhhh," he said obediently, blowing a bubble through his lips.

"Very good! Can you say that again?"

"Pahhhhh." Harry blew another bubble.

"How about Padfoot? Say Padfoot, love. Pad-foot."

"Pafdoot!" Harry squealed, bouncing up and down and clapping his hands happily.

Sirius chuckled. "Almost, but not quite. PAD-foot," he repeated.

"Padfoot?" Harry looked up at him hopefully.>>

(There was no real reason for me to copy that here other than to selfishly reproduce it again for rereading. :) )

And just when I'm getting all teary-eyed and sniffly, you mercilessly throw up a series of snorts and guffaws! Fabulously captured introductions to the young Trelawney and the young Lockhart (why it never before occurred to me that they and Sirius might be contemporaries, I'll never know, but I thank you for the image!):

<<"Don&#8217;t you want something prettier, Sybil?" Mrs Black heard one of them ask.

"Don&#8217;t be ridiculous, Lakshmi. How is one supposed to cultivate an aura of mystery in fuschia?" >>

CLASSIC Sybil Trelawney!

And the bonding of Peter and Sirius over their taking the mick--makes perfect sense that Sirius would have played along with Lockhart's pomposity-- is inspired! And utterly credible! Which makes the pain of the betrayal even greater. Anyone in his position would have been blindsided, too.

This is a marked change from the lighter (though no less angsty!) Crown of Stars series, but is equally superbly written. A nice writer's foray into a slightly different genre, n'est-ce pas?

To echo the famous and much-loved Mr Knightley, Well done, Emma! Well done! (cue dreamy Jeremy Northam grin)

Axelle :)

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