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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 32
| Reviewer: Sherster6 | Date: 2005-08-25 |
| Reviewid: 130875 | Chapter: 2 |
| Oh it was perfect! I loved it! We all love the Viktor angle, and I'm personally a sucker for it. Keep writing! |
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| Reviewer: Ema | Date: 2005-02-20 |
| Reviewid: 114466 | Chapter: 2 |
| omg, i cannot belive it. i have loads of stories on this site and it's one of the few that make me feel warm and bubbley inside. it's almost like i'm there, reading it. I LOVE IT!!!!!!! WRITE MORE!!!! |
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| Reviewer: jellybean | Date: 2004-08-17 |
| Reviewid: 97750 | Chapter: 2 |
| dudeful story!! it's so sweet, so perfect. and you called hermione a mary-sue, LMAO!! well done anyways, i can't believe that's your first story! |
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| Reviewer: Enigma | Date: 2004-07-07 |
| Reviewid: 91102 | Chapter: 2 |
| OMG!!!! that was SO cute! a H/G sequel would be VERY nice. good imagery and dialogue and they never were out of character. You used a good point to get them together. I love it and I would IM this to you but you logged off to go to bed a couple minutes ago. |
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| Reviewer: Julian | Date: 2004-04-29 |
| Reviewid: 80688 | Chapter: 2 |
| I really like the story. Understandable. I do think that there should be a contiuation, going into thier Hogwarts year, of course, behind the back of Harry. I know I would read it. |
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| Reviewer: Catherine | Date: 2003-09-25 |
| Reviewid: 54324 | Chapter: 2 |
Mallary:
Nice work with Hermione's interiors and some of the thoughts in here. Good dialogue too. My usual advice for a story this short is to slow things down, and be more descriptive.
Catherine |
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| Reviewer: Hex-grl | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52846 | Chapter: 2 |
Exscuse me? Baron Von Krogg? In case you havent noticed
Mr. Ron and Hermione G Weasly sounds very good indeed
buh by |
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| Reviewer: wise1 | Date: 2003-04-05 |
| Reviewid: 26560 | Chapter: 2 |
| it is only a Mary Sue if it is adding yourself to the story, in the form of a new character who is a perfect version of yourself |
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| Reviewer: lucysnowe | Date: 2003-03-16 |
| Reviewid: 24205 | Chapter: 2 |
What a cute story! I thought you did a good job keeping Hermione in character. I liked the part when she was so distracted that her book was upside down.
It was nice that Harry and Ginny got into it too. You had some nice dialogue between the two girls and the boys I thought. Nice work. keep it up! |
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| Reviewer: Baron Von Krogg | Date: 2003-03-08 |
| Reviewid: 23225 | Chapter: 2 |
I just finished reading your story and
thought it was great.But Let me ask just
one Question PLEASE. Why does everybody
think that it will be Ron and Hermione
not Harry and Hermione. Wouldn't
Mr Harry and Hermione G Potter sound
very nice also. Thanks
ps Your story is still very well
written and I really really enjoyed
reading it.
Thanks Baron Von Krogg |
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| Reviewer: Lourdes | Date: 2003-02-20 |
| Reviewid: 21125 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was really cruel, that last sentence was. So, when is Ron going to catch H skin dipping? Please let those chapters roll in. I hope you will finish this fanfic. Looks promising too. A H/G sequel would be nice. |
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| Reviewer: Violet Azure | Date: 2003-02-19 |
| Reviewid: 21090 | Chapter: 1 |
I like the way this story opened with dialog and we're not exactly sure what the characters are arguing about at first. It's a good hook to a story.
"her frizzy hair bobbing with each vigorous step" and "Beads of perspiration were rolling down her back, causing her light dress to stick to her skin. The humidity filled her lungs, and warmth overwhelmed her whole body." good imagery!
Very good characterization of Hermione, especially capturing her intelligence, hesitation and arguing style with Ron. Love the napkin debate! It really is those little things people fight about.
"Ron, who overwhelmed her with emotions of hate, sadness, happiness, excitement, and love all in one package." You've already shown this, you don't need to tell us. The next lines: "Suddenly Hermione felt extremely hot and breathless, and she knew it wasn’t merely because of the weather." continue to illustrate this point about how Hermione feels about Ron.
Love the line "it would be worse than taking Fluffy for a walk" LOL!! and I love how your Hermione ended on a spunky, impulse note, jumping into the lake. You let her act out, but not out of character. Hermione does on occasion surprise us and you've let your Hermione's spirit shine through. Great job! |
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| Reviewer: loonie | Date: 2003-02-19 |
| Reviewid: 21065 | Chapter: 1 |
| that was great!!!! i love this story-- it's soooo sweet(so far anyway) please continue with the next chapter-- and soon!!!!!!!!! :D |
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| Reviewer: Katinka | Date: 2003-02-19 |
| Reviewid: 21050 | Chapter: 1 |
I don't read much R/H fic anymore, but I'm really glad I took a peak at this one. A great beginning! And you really deserve brownie points for the story's readability -- I thought every flowed very nicely.
I *loved* Hermione's moment of realization:
<<Then it hit her. Ron was, to her, not an enemy, not a friend, but much, much more.
Suddenly Hermione felt extremely hot and breathless, and she knew it wasn’t merely because of the weather.>>
The moment when she jumped into the lake reminded me of a certain Mr. Darcy moment in the "Pride & Prejudice" miniseries -- hopefully, that means we have a delightfully awkward and sweet moment coming up between Ron and Hermione. :)
Katinka |
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| Reviewer: Dina | Date: 2003-02-19 |
| Reviewid: 20991 | Chapter: 1 |
| WOW! Keep on writing! I`m really looking forward to reading how it continues... Keep up the good work! WOW!Thats awesome! I`m hooked! Keep up the good writing! |
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| Reviewer: Jenny | Date: 2003-02-19 |
| Reviewid: 20975 | Chapter: 1 |
Great start! I love how you began with the argument!
Can't wait for the next installment!
Jenny |
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| Reviewer: Ara Kane | Date: 2003-02-19 |
| Reviewid: 20962 | Chapter: 1 |
| Great beginning! Your descriptions of the heat and humidity were great and I could relate to Hermione being distracted. Sadly, I don't have a real-life Ron to distract me, but it's terrible trying to work in such heat...anyway, I'd love to just jump in some cold water right now, too. Can't wait to find out what happens next! |
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