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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Something Real.
Review(s): 39

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-12-18
Reviewid: 146496Chapter: 2
More? Please.

Reviewer: BobcatDate: 2004-04-03
Reviewid: 76988Chapter: 2
Wow, what a great story. You took Fleur and made her...made her real.

Reviewer: RussaDate: 2003-09-06
Reviewid: 51028Chapter: 2
Ah. A second chapter.
That was very sad and, yet again, very well written. Your Cedric bits were lovely.

Reviewer: RussaDate: 2003-09-06
Reviewid: 51027Chapter: 1
I rather liked that story; It was very nice. You wrote Fleur well. Great job!

Reviewer: CherylDate: 2003-08-29
Reviewid: 49266Chapter: 2
I really enjoyed this story. I've always liked reading about the 'other side' of Fleur.

Reviewer: Talking Purple RabbitsDate: 2003-08-24
Reviewid: 48487Chapter: 2
wow!

is that the last chapter? Because I wouldn't mind more, not at all.

I thought you handled Fleur's handling of Cedric's death very, very well. I liked the way that scene kept reverberating in her memory.

I loved Harry's depiction as "a thin green-eyed boy."

I liked Joline Dupont's snobby comments -- not for what they said, but because they made the story seem real-er (more real?).

I thought that perhaps Dumbledore was giving a little too much information all at once (in his office, when describing Barty Crouch). Especially considering Fleur's tiredness and the fact that she is a foreigner. I thought maybe he could have given her the important, most relevant details then and saved the rest for later, when he told her she would have to make a choice.

Also, I would like to see her take on saying goodbye to Harry and Ron. (you know, whe she tells them she "wants to eemprove her Eenglish," and Ron says "It's very good already." ;D )

off to read more of your work,
ta,
~TPR

Reviewer: Talking Purple RabbitsDate: 2003-08-24
Reviewid: 48486Chapter: 1
squee!

I liked this *very* much. You surprised me, Portia. Fleur is generally written rather poorly, and at first I thought this would just be another boring story. But you sucked me in and kept me interested.

My favourite parts were when Cedric defended Eloise and watching Fleur defeat the grindylows. That was a nice touch, to explain why she couldn't defeat them.

My one (teensy) issue with the story is Fleur's list of favourite things: the British authors, the Muggle movies, the snowboarding. (snowboarding?!?) True, they are all great things, but it felt a little like you projected your own list of interests onto Fleur, in a Mary Sueish way. It wasn't too bad, though, you kept those details relevant.

Off to more fun in the next chapter!

ta,
~TPR

Reviewer: Nikki WeasleyDate: 2003-08-24
Reviewid: 48418Chapter: 2
verrry good i like it alot! i waant to know more! keep writing! :)

Reviewer: KatiaDate: 2003-08-23
Reviewid: 48403Chapter: 1
I really liked this a lot. It is very unique. Are you going to add more? If you do, I will keep on reading.

Reviewer: AzyneDate: 2003-08-19
Reviewid: 47862Chapter: 2
Oh wow!!! This is so awesome...I cried. I remembered Cedric, and how wonderful he really was, outside of jealous Harry's and Ron's POVs. :( I miss Cedric.

There's just one tiny thing: You never mentioned Bill. Fleur did like him, as Harry saw, and even if she did like Cedric that much, she still had an eye for Bill....anyway, great story!

Reviewer: Olivia PitcherDate: 2003-08-18
Reviewid: 47702Chapter: 2
aieee! What a powerful ending! i thought I was finally over Cedric's death, but it turns out i'm not....

Reviewer: DarcelDate: 2003-07-27
Reviewid: 44023Chapter: 1
Sweet :) Will this be continued?

Reviewer: MadelynDate: 2003-07-26
Reviewid: 43929Chapter: 2
That was fantastic. I LOVE Fleur stories. They are always so well written. I think you really captured what it must feel like to be Fleur. I love the Cedric part, where he stuck up for Eloise. It made me that much sadder that he is gone forever. Anyways, you did a great job. Absolutely superb!

Reviewer: TrewynDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43845Chapter: 2
This was a beautiful story. Fleur PoVs are rare, and the few that I've seen have not been done very well. Yours stands out. The interaction between Eloise and Cedric was an excellent description of Hufflepuff house and why they are so darn cool. I also loved Fleur's take on Harry, and her revelation about her hipocrisy towards Cedric. Your characterisation of Fleur was perfect with canon and believable as a real person. I thought Dumbledore's explanation was very good and in character, perhaps a little rushed, but believable nonetheless. Your emotions at the end were great. this story had me crying. This was excellent - if anything, it was too short. I would love to see a whole GoF version of this. Keep up the great work!

Reviewer: Chocolate MuseDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43796Chapter: 2
Wow! This was really good. It was nice to see something new from Fleur's POV, since we never really get to see what she's like.

Reviewer: LarkDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43599Chapter: 1
Fleur is one of my favorite characters. This story rox! You portrayed her so WEll! good job!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-05-31
Reviewid: 34756Chapter: 2
[with the moon and the stars shyly slipping out into the shadow-blue sky and casting a faint shimmer] Lovely description, especially the shyly slipping. Nice illiteration and verb usage.

I really like how you've humanized Fleur here, especially giving her jealous classmates.

Nice use of a Sleeping Charm against the skrewt. It shows good attention to canon detail because Fleur is good at Sleeping Charms.

I also like how you weave Fleur's thoughts in and out of the text. The transitions flow rather seamlessly and switching between memory, thought, and action can be a tough trick to pull off but you do it very nicely here.

The only part that didn't flow was that Dumbledore tells Fleur way too much in his office. Dumbledore seems to be the type who would keep a secret or two to himself and leave Fleur with a bit of mystery, at the very least not mention exactly who the imposter Moody was.

You do such justice to Fleur! I hope you continue writing stories about her!

Reviewer: FernWithyDate: 2003-05-26
Reviewid: 33819Chapter: 1
(part of the Review Challenge post) This is a story I really wanted to read more of--Fleur never interested me very much, but this story really made her wake up... Her attitude is well explained in the opening paragraphs. I can definitely see this girl trying spells to make herself less attractive.

Reviewer: Chocolate Frog CardDate: 2003-05-04
Reviewid: 30581Chapter: 2
This was a really great story. It was interesting to read about a character that we know so little about. I enjoyed Fleur's encounter with Cedric, and Cedric was so nice to Eliose! Aw...that was so cute. And Cedric taking points away from Malfoy made me happy.

I think your characterization of Fleur really went well with what we see of her in the books. She seemed so...indifferent to her looks. And the french bits in the story were cool. Freetranslation.com really got a work out!

Fleur noticing R/H was wonderful. I'm glad you worked that in there.

You write very well. Some of my favorite bits...

Fleur paled. That little boy. That heroic little midget of a boy.

This was sad and funny at the same time. Sad when fleur realized what poor Harry had been through, but I couldn't help but smile a little when she called him a midget.

"I hardly think that this is such a difficult choice to make, Headmaster," said Fleur, startled to hear how strong and almost scornful her voice sounded. "Of course I will help you, in any way I can."

This is just a great line. It is just very realistic that she wouldn't even have to think about it after what happened to Cedric.

Another thing I liked about this story was Fleur's peers. They too seemed in-character from what we saw of them in the books. Poor Fleur...can't even expect support from her own classmates.

Overall, this was a wonderful glimpse of a character that is rather intriguing. I really enjoyed this story! Great job!

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2003-04-30
Reviewid: 30246Chapter: 2
Another powerful look at Fleur... her grief for Cedric, and her admiration for Harry were poignantly expressed. I really like her heart, grit and determination!

Reviewer: Insanity70Date: 2003-04-23
Reviewid: 29183Chapter: 1
Oh, I remember some of the ideas from your "Fleur's College essay" - you developed it beautifully here!

Reviewer: LarzdinnDate: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29125Chapter: 2
Y'know, as a Fleur-centric story, this is a rarity in itself! I think it's the first I've seen that truly captures the essence of Fleur in a humanistic sense. While some bits are left to the imagination, you've really characterized Fleur and brought her to life - or in this case, sugar quill ^_^ I loved reading the events of GoF from Fleur's point of view, it gave me a wholly new interpretation of the novel. The only request I have, if possible, is that you provide definitions for the widely used French phrases. Though they are lovely and add to the ethereal quality of the prose, those who, like me, are incomprehensive when it comes to French may have some difficulties understanding those parts of the story. Now, don't think I don't take a language - I do learn German. It's just, French and German are not entirely similar... ^_^ I look forward to reading many more chapters about Fleur and her adventures following Hogwarts. Perhaps romance lies in store for the stone-cold Fleur in the near future? I hope so. I just can't help liking anyone who thinks Ron and Hermione are sweet together! -Edi-

Reviewer: lexiDate: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29124Chapter: 2
sweet, very sweet. there are few fleur fics, and this one stood out wonderfully. write more!
PS: say "few fleur fics" 10 times very fast, without stopping or screwing up
~*lexi*~

Reviewer: Fawkes101Date: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29109Chapter: 2
Porita-great job! I love the way Fleur cares so much about Cedric's death. I also like the way Fleur insists on knowing what has happened. Update soon please. :)

Reviewer: SavannahDate: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29068Chapter: 2
Wow ... I read this story, and, not only gained an insight into the mind of a talented French witch, but also into the heart of a somewhat troubled girl, eternally condemned to be a magnet for all that was false due to the emphasis men place on appearance.

Once again, wow. When I read Fleur's reaction to Cedric's death, it reminded me of something that happened at my school 2 years ago...painfully true.

*lost 4 words @ the moment*
Savannah

Reviewer: feurisDate: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29056Chapter: 2
I think you're doing rgeat but would you mind putting a translation for all the french phrases ( in AN section I might suggest )

Reviewer: KarieDate: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29042Chapter: 2
Oh, lovely (: Strong, brave, smart Fleur. And FUNNY--"That heroic little midget of a boy." OH my...very poignant, considering the circumstances. I am glad you're writing more, you've done a wonderful job.

Reviewer: ...Date: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29032Chapter: 2
C'est tres magnifique! Continuez, s'il vous plait!

Reviewer: KatalynaDate: 2003-04-22
Reviewid: 29031Chapter: 2
I found your insight into Fleur quite fascinating, and I rather enjoyed this story. Please continue to write, it was wonderful to read.

Reviewer: violet azureDate: 2003-04-03
Reviewid: 26118Chapter: 1
What an excellent piece about Fleur. You've really given her some heart and some depth and have fleshed out her personality nicely. I particularly liked how you mentioned that she liked Jane Austen novels and Muggle movies. The interjections of the French language throughout the piece added a nice authenticity and helped strengthen the POV of Fleur.

[drawing out her wand and inwardly lamenting her ignorance of English swear words,] Very funny! A great glimpse into Fleur's head, especially with the language frustration.

[a magnet for all that was false.] Excellent phrasing! Perfectly chosen words!

Cedric was delighful here! Helping out poor Eloise and being that boy every gawky girl has a crush on, not because he's good looking, popular and smart, but because he's *nice* and can make any duckling feel like a swan. You've really done Cedric justice in the small glimpse we get of him, without exaggerating his character at all. Very well done.

This is a small point, but I really like the title you chose. It fits in very well with what Fleur is feeling and going through.

Excellent piece! Any chance you'll do a follow-up piece on Fleur's reactions after the Tournament has ended?

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2003-03-23
Reviewid: 24973Chapter: 1
>As a quarter-veela, Fleur was a magnet for all that was false.

This is lovely, lovely, lovely.

>But… still. Her little sister. In the lake

This says so much. I love how sharp Fleur is - she doesn't fall for the 'rescue Gabrielle or she'll die' bit, and she recognizes Cedric's quality. She has great capacity for feeling, and doesn't exactly cut herself off from them, but has a tough side as well. You've written her as an amazingly complex character.

>his wild-haired amie gave her a look of pure venom. Elle a un peu de tendresse pour lui, n’est-ce pas? How sweet.

Hee! Hilarious!

I thoroughly enjoyed this story - I'd love to read more about Fleur and hope you write more about her. As you've written her, she's a complex and worthy character, and one that I'd like to see more of.

Reviewer: PortiaDate: 2003-03-07
Reviewid: 23121Chapter: 1
Merci beaucoup for the reviews! This is the first chapter of what's going to be a long Fleur-fic (it's not labeled Chapter One because I was silly and didn't use the Madam Pince form when I submitted this). The chapter title was supposed to be Le Parfait Gentilhomme (meaning "the perfect gentleman," referring to both Harry and Cedric).

Tiki: I’m glad you liked it the story (and a Khan would be welcome, thank you ;)).

Rugi: Fleur is strong, isn’t she? She’s always struck me as very tough, but with a soft side. And Cedric is obviously a sweetheart. I’m going to have such trouble writing his death.

Clarimonde: You’re right, Fleur does grow during the Second Task. I’m glad you thought I showed that clearly, as I wasn’t sure. And I think her feelings towards Gabrielle are what made me warm up to her as a character in the first place.

Ozma: (yay! Another favorite author of mine reviewing!) Of course Fleur thinks Ron’s endearing. The girl has a heart, after all ;).

Ilene: Yes, I’m planning more chapters to this, and Fleur’s role in the fight against Voldemort will be covered. And although Fleur respects Cedric, she finds his romance “silly” because she finds all romance silly—you were right about her being jaded and bitter!

Mr. Roberts: Fleur, eat greasy fast food? Mon Dieu, non! ;) Hmm… I always thought that Fleur wouldn’t have gone back without getting to the mer-village—she would never have left Gabrielle there, and the gillyweed doesn’t really make Harry faster, it just helps him breathe. I could be wrong, though.

Sreya: Yes, the fic will extend to the end of GoF and beyond. I plan on covering the Third Task, Fleur’s reaction to Cedric’s death and the Leaving Feast, and then getting into what Fleur does in the war.

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2003-03-07
Reviewid: 23113Chapter: 1
Oh, this was very sweet! I liked it very much. No possibility of a little more of the year covered, is there?

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2003-03-06
Reviewid: 22979Chapter: 1
. Fleur had begun to search for potions and spells that would thicken her figure, or make her complexion just a little less flawless, or just slightly dull the shine of her hair.
-Made me laugh! Has she tried Muggle fast food?

Good job with Draco

She made her way to the mer-village, only to find no Gabrielle.
-I'm probably wrong here, but I don't think she ever made it there.
1.She got back to land before Harry, so I'd believe that she would have left before him.
2.She probably wouldn't have gone faster than Harry (in the event that Harry left first), because although he was carrying two back, his body had transformed into something much more suited to swimming than ours.

Well done! Fluer must be one of the hardest characters to write convincingly and sympatheticly. I like her response to Draco's nastiness and her fatigue of being only seen as a beautiful body.

Looking forward to the ball and the third task.

Reviewer: ileneDate: 2003-03-06
Reviewid: 22927Chapter: 1
I read this fic before when I read about it on Lockhart, but let me take this chance to review it here. I really liked this...I can definitely see Fleur's outward snootiness being a defensive mechanism. I always thought there was more to veelas than just the irresistible temptresses they are to most men, and this fic does a good job in showing Fleur's human side and human emotions. It also has a very in-character Cedric, I loved how sweet he was to Eloise, and I cheered when he told Draco off and showed there's more to being a prefect than polishing your badge and using a nice bathroom. Are you planning more chapters to this? Because I'm definitely interested in how Fleur reacts to the news of Cedric's death, as well as Voldemort's rising. The one thing I find a little confusing, though, is when Fleur thinks "She was not like those silly boys, who thought that they would miss their little girlfriends more than anyone else in the world.", since that would include Cedric as well as Krum. That seems to go against her earlier positive impression of Cedric. Does Fleur have a jaded view of teenage romance because of her own experiences? Or is she being just a tad jealous of Cho (and maybe Hermione, too) for having boys actually care about them enough to think of them as "the one you'll most dearly miss"?

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2003-03-06
Reviewid: 22919Chapter: 1
What an exquisite treasure-trove of a story!! Every character is captured perfectly. Fleur (whom I would consider one of the hardest people to write)is wonderful in her blend of arrogance and her poignant longing to be wanted for the person she is inside her lovely skin. I like her self-confidence, so well portrayed. She knows that she did well against the dragon, even if she wasn't "showy."

(Awww! She thinks Ron's endearing. She won my heart right then and there.) And I cheered when she came to Eloise's aid and started to tell off Malfoy!

Cedric was wonderful. I loved his protectiveness for Eloise, his resistance to Fleur's veela-attraction and his anger at Malfoy. I loved what he said to Eloise too.

Poor Fleur, it was eye-opening to see the second task from her point of view. Her fear for Gabrielle, her reaction to the unfamiliar threat of the Grindylows were well written enough to make my heart pound. No wonder she was so profuse in her thanks for Harry and Ron. I loved the way she realised she'd been guilty of judging by appearances too. (I enjoyed her reaction to Hermione's jealousy over Ron, too. She thinks Ron and Hermione are sweet! I really like her!)

Reviewer: CrystalDate: 2003-03-05
Reviewid: 22900Chapter: 1
I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading this story. You did a wonderful job of humanizing Fleur, while staying true to what we know of canon. What Fleur must have had to go through with boys because of her veela blood, and how paradoxical it was that she couldn't have the one boy who didn't throw himself at her - yet she wanted Cedric as her date precisely because of this sense of honor.

I loved reading about her feelings for her sister Gabrielle, who was her friend and could understand what she was going through. Fleur's change of heart regarding Harry and Ron was sweet and showed the growth in her own character after just one page: "Neither of those two looks very impressive, Fleur ruminated, considering the lack of stature and disheveled hair of Harry and the lanky height and freckles of his friend. Going by appearances, they weren’t much.

And Fleur was part-veela. She knew all about appearances. Knew how pleasing they could be, and yet had learned from bitter experience how hollow they were. The little Hogwarts champion is more than I thought him to be."

Cedric - sigh. I love that boy! You gave him a spine and showed the tough side of Hufflepuff, as well as his sweetness and loyalty in his defense of Eloise Midgen.

This is a great fic, and if you choose to write more about Fleur I'll be happy to read it. I wonder if the man she ultimately meets who will love her and not just the veela part of her is spelled "B-i-l-l W-e-a-s-l-e-y !" :)

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2003-03-05
Reviewid: 22887Chapter: 1
"Even though she’d told him all of this."

You really did a good job making me pity Fleur without making her pitiful. She has suffered but is strong enough to have it make her tough. I also lobed what you did with Cedric and Eloise. He was so kind.

Reviewer: TikiDate: 2003-03-05
Reviewid: 22875Chapter: 1
Portia, I really think your Fleur is right on. I loved the scene with Eloise and Cedric, it was just the right touch! I hope you right more soon! You made Fleur seem more human to me, and as this is the first Fleur-fic I've read, I'd like to say thanks for making it special. :)
-Tiki
*here, you can have Hrithik or a Khan...on LOAN...for writing such a wonderful story!*

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