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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 336

Reviewer: hollow_now_goneDate: 2008-03-05
Reviewid: 150593Chapter: 20
Hex is a true American. Thanks for showing that!

I loved it! Even if its not cannon.... It was a joy to read!

Reviewer: IzzieDate: 2007-08-20
Reviewid: 148950Chapter: 20
The only reason I'm not bawling my eyes out over the fact this excellent story is over, is the promise of "Sounds Like a Frozen Dinner". This was great, and I think Harry must be very relieved not to be the centre of attention for once. Brilliant!

Reviewer: rotemDate: 2007-06-20
Reviewid: 148299Chapter: 20
wow. simply... wow. I enjoyed every chapter and every word, that was one of the best fics i've read. i really couldn't stop reading :)

Reviewer: VerinDate: 2007-05-18
Reviewid: 148050Chapter: 20
Oh my. I so liked the prologue to the Molly Prewett story, that I had to read your other stories...positively terrific! I like the super-alternate point of view (that is, an original-yet-believable character). The very title of this story is great (Hufflepuffs: elf tested, centuar approved). But the story itself was delightful (and at times harrowing) to read. Hex is a great character, which is why I also just read your "The Baby Vanishes" story. Nice to know you envisioned an eventually quite happy future for Hex and Maeve.

Reviewer: edelweissDate: 2007-04-08
Reviewid: 147706Chapter: 20
Oh my god... This story was awesome. It might even be the best fanfic i've had the pleasure of reading. It's high time Hufflepuff received some recognition and respect. Your story gave us bagsfull of it. Hex and Peter are now my heroes.
(While I'm here I might as well say that I adored "sisters" and "anything but 'I love you'" as much... You're super awesome coolness. Your stories are so sweet I-I-I don't even know! Write me more, pretty please!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-10-24
Reviewid: 135061Chapter: 20
Exceedingly enjoyable. Thank you.

Reviewer: shimaspawnDate: 2005-09-28
Reviewid: 133397Chapter: 5
It's an interesting fic, but you move a bit quickly and it seems jerky in parts. Also while your characterizations are fairly well done, your British characters seem a bit too American for a fic that seems to be trying to emphasize the differences between the cultures.

Reviewer: MelissaDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127201Chapter: 20
I was tempted not to review for what sounded like a Yankee fan, but my good sense prevailed. Even if you do like the yankees, you can still write a good story. Who would have known that a student from America could actually be a decent, well rounded character? Good job!

Reviewer: SunshineDate: 2005-06-11
Reviewid: 123718Chapter: 20
That was great. I'm a sucker for any story that makes me laugh out loud as much as this one did! I could tell Harry really enjoyed his supporting role, and Hex's Americanisms taking over the school were hilarious. It was nice to see a lot of inter-house friendships. Professor Sprout had a lot of character, too! Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: hollyDate: 2005-04-23
Reviewid: 120435Chapter: 1
i really wasnt sure what this would be when i clicked the link. im starting to be really glad that i decided to find out. can you believe that ive never actually read a potterverse fic without the potter? wonderful job. this is such a creative idea. i was skeptical at first, but you have definitly caught my interest with just one chapter! very impressing job.

Reviewer: AndreaDate: 2005-02-22
Reviewid: 114609Chapter: 20
Are you going to write a sequle? If you are post it soon, please!!!!

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2005-02-18
Reviewid: 114279Chapter: 20
I love how it was so predictable and stuff, lol. Nice work. It's kind of cool to read a story about Harry Potter like things happening to someone other than Harry Potter :D. So is your "sounds like a frozen dinner" going to be about Ravenclaw? Anyway, I liked this story and thought that for all the things in it that were so predictable this was pretty original, and what a great Hufflepuff story!

~Geena

Reviewer: EstherDate: 2004-08-17
Reviewid: 97628Chapter: 20
Ooh, it's over! This is one of the best fics I've ever read!

Reviewer: BrielleDate: 2004-07-20
Reviewid: 93282Chapter: 16
Wow. I think that was the first time EVER that I have been sorry Gryffindor lost.

Reviewer: SethDate: 2004-07-07
Reviewid: 91104Chapter: 20
Great story. I thought it was really funny and I hope their is a sequal!

Reviewer: JKDate: 2004-06-21
Reviewid: 88055Chapter: 4
I love Hex's sense of humour. He's great. His reaction to the Fat Friar was absolutely CLASSIC! Bits that made me laugh include:
“I’ll have you know that Malfoy is an incredibly old wizarding name.”
“Well, it needs to be discontinued.”

Good work dealing with Hex's financial problems. That's just the sort of thing Dumbledore would do, and I'm glad to see that you think he does good things for students other than Harry.

In general, a pleasant, well-done chapter with plenty of laughs but also a good examination of the difficulties of being a transfer student.

Yours in fanfiction,

JK

Reviewer: Solarius ScorchDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87291Chapter: 1
Well, unfortunately I can't fully appreciate this story, because the main character is not written well enough, I think. I mean, his behavior seems to lack consistency from time to time, and I don't really understand what he is like (I know he's complicated, but that's not the point). But the rest of the original characters are delicious (especially Mr. Bear, but Mauve as well), and canon people act nicely in-character to me. The plot and language are also good. And it's really nice someone finally took care of Hufflepuffs, who really deserved it.
(But I still prefer The Wizard King.)

Reviewer: anonymousDate: 2004-06-06
Reviewid: 86077Chapter: 20
two words: "outstanding", and "sequel"

Reviewer: KaitDate: 2004-04-08
Reviewid: 77676Chapter: 20
I finally read this after hearing all about you and Hex at Unredeemed.net. Great job! I love that characters and the storyline. Most stories that incorporate an American are a little iffy, but Hex was great. I’m glad that he wasn’t a Gryffindor and everything Mary-Sue-ish. Great job.

Reviewer: Olivia WoodDate: 2004-04-07
Reviewid: 77642Chapter: 20
:) Cute. Is there going to be a sequel? There should be a sequel... Please?

Reviewer: RommDate: 2004-03-08
Reviewid: 73672Chapter: 20
Just gotta say, this is an awesome fic. Usually it's not Hufflepuff that gets the Cup. Hex is a great character, so is Maeve. Good stuff.

Reviewer: HeatherKDate: 2004-02-02
Reviewid: 69241Chapter: 20
Oh my goodness, I've tears in my eyes still! Absolutely wonderful! I love it, the characterizations were great, the friendly rivalry bt Gryf/Huff was wonderful, and the story in general was wonderful. A bit off the beaten path, but I think that's what makes it so fun! Great job! Oooooh, sounds like a frozen dinner huh? Hhhmmm, can't wait!!!

Reviewer: HeatherKDate: 2004-02-01
Reviewid: 69150Chapter: 5
OOOOWEEEOOOO I look just like buddy holly oh oh and youre mary tyler moore! hehe sorry couldn't help myself! I'm having so much fun in this story!! It's great!

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-12-13
Reviewid: 63119Chapter: 20
Sigh. I loved the ending - I was hoping for Hufflepuff to win the House Cup...a fitting way to cap off Hex's influence over the House.

I was totally caught off guard by Maeve's parentage shocker! Man, I didn't see that coming at all!

This was a delightful story all the way through and I'm so happy that I had a chance to read the whole thing tonight. You are a great writer and I look forward to reading more stories from you. Thanks for sharing Hex and Maeve and Peter and Maggie with all of us.

Give yourself a big hug and say it's from me!

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-12-13
Reviewid: 63117Chapter: 16
(OK - I was only going to review every 5 chapters but had to pull out this quote:

"It was then that he realized that Professor McGonagall’s words before the Sorting Ceremony were correct. The Hufflepuffs were more than just his roommates, classmates, or even friends — they were his family. And while Professor Sprout was old, sort of ditzy, and a little too attached to the earth, so to speak, she did far more than her job required.

He remembered her nightly words of encouragement, the pumpkinseeds, and even the way she had looked during the Halloween Banquet incident. Professor Sprout loved her Hufflepuffs, too, and was willing to fight — maybe even to the death — for them.

Hex breathed deeply as the team embraced, inhaling the combination of people, earth, plants, water, and flowers. Professor Sprout smelled like life."

Beautiful, Ara. Very beautiful.

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-12-13
Reviewid: 63115Chapter: 15
More outstanding Quidditch scenes...and to be honest, I'm not usually a big fan of Quidditch scenes. But yours were really edge-of-your-seat kind of stuff, so I was really digging them.

Wow, the scene between Eris Lestrange, Maeve & Hex was extremely tense! Everything in this story is so well written!

One of my favorite elements of this story is the little details that you throw in...it's little things that make up our lives and adding them here really bring your characters to life for me.

Also, I love the quotes you begin each chapter with. Well chosen, all of them. Reading on...but I don't want the story to end!

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-12-13
Reviewid: 63105Chapter: 10
Gosh, this story just gets better and better, Ara! I've always said that the mark of a great story is not being able to walk away from it after a few chapters...and this is certainly a story I'm caught up in!!

You do a marvelous job of writing Quidditch action - very evocative of the way Rowling wrote it, with the announcer narrating a lot of the action for us. I was sincerely caught up in the Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw match. Maeve's winning move made me catch my breath. You have a very visual writing style - it's easy to picture all the story unfolding in front of me as I read.

I love your original characters - they each have a distinct and vivid personality. Maeve and Hex are a great match for each other - it's wonderful to see their relationship building slowly. The scene between Hex & Ron when they reconcile and talk about Hermione is extremely engaging. OK - moving on the the next chapters...

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-12-13
Reviewid: 63099Chapter: 5
I have been waiting for a good block of free time to read Hex's story uninterrupted!! So here's my first review, after reading the first 5 chapters.

No wonder everyone loves Hex so much!! He's such a realistically written character that I already feel like I know him. You've given him a lot of rich detail in here...little things that tell us so much about who he is. Reading about his background already had me rooting for him and anxious for Hagrid to get there to whisk him away. I am enjoying the interaction between Hex and the trio, particularly Ron's jealousy. Not surprising - Hex is clearly a stunner!! Maeve is very intriguing, as well. On to the next five chapters!

Reviewer: Myster webDate: 2003-11-02
Reviewid: 58550Chapter: 20
This was a great fan fiction! I can't believe that Hufflepuff won the House cup! Never mind, I can believe it! Mrs JK Rowling doesn't give those great badgers enough credit.
Please keep on writing since I really want to know more about all of your characters! You go typer!

Reviewer: atroposDate: 2003-10-31
Reviewid: 58420Chapter: 20
Oh no - I've finished reading. When is the sequel going to be posted ..? Seriously Ara, I have really enjoyed reading this fic. I am a sucker for a feel-good movie, so whilst the ending was rather like something we have all seen before in canon I really didn't care - they deserved it and I was glad they won the house cup. Again, more great Quidditch writing and nice to see Oliver Wood turning up for a brief cameo. Also nice to see Harry not catching the Snitch. I mean, I know he's good but it gets a bit unrealistic if he never misses it I think. My favourite line this week?

>>Professor Sprout smelled like life.<< Simple, but very memorable.

Atropos

Reviewer: atroposDate: 2003-10-24
Reviewid: 57695Chapter: 15
This is still going great Ara. I love the way that you are developing the Hufflepuffs' characters (particularly Justin FF), and Professor Sprout telling Snape to "can it" had me LOL'ing again. Plot pacing is good, and I am looking forward to seeing how the story ends. The Barbra Streisand was a little surreal though - made me think of that South Park episode where she turns up as a huge monster and tries to eat them all!

Atropos

Reviewer: atroposDate: 2003-10-17
Reviewid: 56776Chapter: 10
Ara, this is just getting better and better. Good pacing, lots happening and some really nice characterisations. Hex is living up to my first impressions of him and giving Hufflepuff a good shake-up. Some of his behaviour in Chapters 6 - 10 is quite typically "Gryffindor-ish", but I like the way that his first reaction is always to be loyal and to support his friends - a true Hufflepuff. I also particularly like the way he seems to be inspiring the others to take some pride in their house and themselves. Justin FF in particular seems to be really coming out of his shell! I am not normally a fan of huge Quidditch scenes but the way you concluded yours was a real sharp-intake-of-breath moment. And my favourite line of these 5 chapters?

>>"Accio banana - oh crap"<<

That made me laugh out loud.

Atropos

Reviewer: atroposDate: 2003-10-13
Reviewid: 56391Chapter: 5
Once again I seem to be getting to this fic after everyone else - I should definitely read more. Read the first five chapters tonight and thoroughly enjoyed it. Hex seems like he's really going to stir Hogwarts up a bit, and I like the way that he is not automatically in awe of everything wizarding - the right kind of reaction for a teenage New Yorker I imagine. It's also very interesting and quite cheering that you chose to place him in Hufflepuff. He is certainly not the 'duffer' stereotype, which is excellent as I think that is a very one-dimensional and unfair view of Hufflepuffs in general. Finally, I think you have written some rather fine one-liners and short descriptions. I particularly liked the description of Pig as a feathery Mexican jumping bean! Looking forward to reading the rest of this.

Atropos

Reviewer: Katie BellDate: 2003-09-27
Reviewid: 54602Chapter: 20
I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH!

I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THIS IS MY FAVORITE FAN FICTION......EVER!!

Nice Job Ara!

I can't wait for the sequel!

Now I want to write a fan fic about an American witch......
AMAZING!

~~Katie Bell

Reviewer: A.S.Date: 2003-09-27
Reviewid: 54499Chapter: 20
Ilove it! Pleeease write a sequel!!!

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-09-25
Reviewid: 54330Chapter: 20
Pretty satisfying overall, Ara. I'm glad you wrote it, and I had a chance to read it. Good, solid characters, and something original in the Potterverse.

Overall, a very strong and very fun piece.

Catherine

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-09-20
Reviewid: 53586Chapter: 18
Very interesting and action packed.Very impressive writing.

Catherine

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-09-12
Reviewid: 52066Chapter: 16
This is so funny! It's irreverent! It's well paced!

And they lost!

Good writing, Ara!

Catherine

Reviewer: tjalDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51708Chapter: 20
Hehe. Liked the 'feel-good movie ending' (yeah, I'm a sucker for happy endings).

I definitely liked this story; Hex, and Maeve for that matter, is just too interesting of a character and you seem to have a real flair for dialogue as well as description. I especially liked how you put him in Hufflepuff. Hehe. You made the whole Hufflepuff House look cool! Especially with that desc. of the Hufflepuff common room and the interactions.

Are you writing a sequel? It'd be a shame if this is all we get... *pouts* Anyway, fantastic writing and a fun read. =)

Reviewer: SaramagaDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51554Chapter: 20
This was such a good read. I see it was finished before OOTP came out, and I am so impressed with the number of small details that you foreshadowed. Are you planning on writing any more about Hex?

Good job :)

Reviewer: LinDate: 2003-09-07
Reviewid: 51088Chapter: 20
There IS going to be a sequel, riiiight? I want to see what Hex does next year, and over break! Hee, it would be funny if he invited his wizarding friends to Brooklyn. Can you imagine the Weasleys in NYC?

Anyway, I just thought I'd drop you a line to say how much I enjoyed "Breakfast Cereal". Hex is such a fun character- gotta love the New Yorker attitude! It bugs me that he was obviously magical, yet Salem didn't send him an owl. Perhaps you could explain that more in the sequel? Maybe the Headmaster didn't want a student with Hex's troublemaking record.

Maeve is another great OC :) I originally thought 'Moondaughter' was a bit overdramatic, but now I see how it fits. She seems to be a good match for Hex so far. Wonder how her summer at Malfoy Manor will go? I woudn't be surprised if she ended up at Maggie's... or maybe in Brooklyn? ;)

It's been wonderful fun reading Puff-Power! I've always thought that Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw get shortchanged, both in canon and fanon. Can't wait for the sequel!

Reviewer: alchemillaDate: 2003-09-04
Reviewid: 50600Chapter: 4
This is MARVELOUS!

I have heard Hex's name mentioned countless times in forums, but couldn't get the energy to 'invest' myself in some new OC's, especially when I haven't finished reading some old ones and my own fic isn't finished. But I read your Maeve ficlet yesterday, and immediately was drawn in by the quality of your writing. So I decided to jump on in, and see what all this Hex noise was about.

The writing flows seamlessly, the humor comes fast and frequently, plenty of great dialogue and wry observations. I look to getting into the thick of the plot.

Thoroughly enjoying it.
--alchemilla

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-08-20
Reviewid: 48049Chapter: 14
The game in chapter 13 has excellent pacing.

Overall, again a great read.

Reviewer: I Heart MoonyDate: 2003-08-16
Reviewid: 47352Chapter: 4
"He looked like Santa Claus after a very successful crash diet." OMG hehehehe I love it! And I'm loving this story..also, great idea putting him in Hufflepuff - I haven't read any fics with new characters, but this one is great! I don't have much constructive to say...perhaps Hex should be a bit more confused by any British-isms? hehe, but that's all I can think of! It's great :)

Reviewer: stefDate: 2003-08-15
Reviewid: 47282Chapter: 19
One of the funniest stories i've ever read.
i loved all of Hex's funny one-liners, especially with all the american slang terms.
“You still mustn’t exert yourself,” Madam Pomfrey cautioned. “The potion only keeps you from feeling tired. You could be dying of exhaustion and not know it.” “That’s a cheerful thought.”
Classic, loved it. Hex reminds me a lot of Ron because of all the funny and sarcastic one liners that he does but he also has a lot of Harry too. It's too bad that he wasn't in Gryffindor because the three would've gotten along great in my oppinion.
Draco sneered. “What is this, Hufflepuff’s answer to Potty, the Weasel and the Mudblood?”
That one was definatly the classic, i loved it.

Reviewer: I dislike PenguinsDate: 2003-08-07
Reviewid: 45959Chapter: 20
Wow!!!! A stroke of ginnyus. Probably the best story I've read in ages. mmmmmHex *drools*

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-06
Reviewid: 45782Chapter: 18
Yay! More names from mythology! Mythology ROX.

> Pete wants to say that he's grateful for all the positive feedback about him being an Animagus. He wasn't sure people would believe it. (Why not? Even though he didn't really call attention to himself in the story, he is a pretty special guy, right?)

Indeed he is! *pats Pete affectionately on the head*

Nice epigraph! Have you read Sartre? I can't stand Existentialism on principle (long story involving an ex), but in small doses it seems quite sensible.

> Like the first person Hex had met in the Forbidden Forest, he was very thin and unkempt, with ragged gray robes

. . . and showing a disturbing likeness to my darling. . . the sarcastic bow is a nice touch, though. This one's obviously dangerous.

> He was pallid and gaunt from many years in Azkaban, but there was no mistaking the slender frame, the dark hair and golden-green eyes. They even moved with the same languid grace.

Eep! Talking about Rowlingesque revelations! This is straight out of OotP!

> "And now it is time you learned to use them — and the rest of you, of course — properly."

That does not bode well AT ALL. No wonder Maeve gets the hell out of Malfoy Manor.

> "You have got to be kidding."

LOL. Gotta love New York attitude.

> If she made Lestrange mad enough, he was going to drop her into the ditch.

"ditch"? I think that's putting it mildly, Hex.

> It was as if that voice had grabbed hold of his mind and was jerking it around roughly.
> The memory of being dragged about physically in the same fashion hit Hex with the force of a thousand Bludgers and he automatically began to fight back.

Yay! Well, I'm glad being beat up by Hank was useful *somehow*!

> When one of Lestrange's hands grabbed at his face, he bit down into it and locked his own hands around the Death Eater's throat, trying to bang Lestrange's head on the ground.

Yep. You've definitely been watching WWF wrestling. ^_^

EEP!! What an ending! (I know he has to be okay, though, for there to be a sequel. But !!!!!)

And Lestrange has always sounded French to me, too :)

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-06
Reviewid: 45781Chapter: 17
> Samira was consoling a crying Bridget and Tim was trying to help, but he looked pretty miserable himself. Robert was standing dejectedly to one side, head bowed and broomstick at his feet; and Peggy was watching the Gryffindors celebrate in the middle of the pitch.

I like this quick setting sketch; it translates well to a visual picture and outlines the team's emotional status clearly and succinctly without actually having to come out and say, "They were disappointed."

> "Who's that?" Hex asked, nodding toward the stranger.
> "That's Oliver Wood," Robert replied. "He used to play for Gryffindor."

OLIVER! *pets Sean--er, Oliver* Awww. I'm glad he finally got to see his house win the freaking Quidditch Cup for once, even if it means Hufflepuff had to lose.

> When he came to Ron, the two boys grinned at each other.

Those two are so cute :) It's a shame they don't see enough of each other on more neutral ground to be real friends!

> "I'm glad it's over, though."
> "I'm not," the redheaded boy replied as Hermione bounded up to him and gave him a hug. "Now I have no choice but to concentrate on studying for the bloody O.W.L.s!"

And you've just captured Ron in a nutshell! :D

> "I'm hoping that if I put my head on the book, the answers will just seep into my brain."

LOL. I'm surprised he hasn't tried charming it to read to him while he sleeps ^_^

> "So? It doesn't mean I don't know what's in a Tirelessness Potion."

Which is why he's going to pass his Potions O.W.L.! (We need more Potions/DADA classes with Snape, btw! I'd like to see more verbal sparring ^_^)

> As usual, the suit of armor blocked the door by assuming a battle stance and brandishing its ax

By brandishing its Axe! *giggles at image of the Hufflepuff suit of armor offering Axe up as a sacrifice*

> Was Maeve back already?

I can answer that for you right now, dear. No. She would've woken you up on her way to the dormitories.

> Checking out the girls' dorm was the easiest way to find out if Maeve had indeed come back, but he didn't want anyone waking up all of a sudden and thinking he was leading a one-man panty raid

LOL! It's too bad he didn’t try it so he could test out the slide ^_^

> The silvery form of the Fat Friar was gliding down the quiet hallway toward them, singing one of his usual hymns

*has image of Fat Friar as one of Robin Hood's Merry Men from "Men in Tights" or "Shrek"*

> "Go!" Peter was back. "Find Norman and follow him!" And he turned himself back into a bear.

So THAT'S why Peter's so Animagus-friendly! :D

Eep! What a way to end a chapter! You've obviously been taking a page out of Axelle’s book! On to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-06
Reviewid: 45772Chapter: 16
> I know that Gryffindor and Hufflepuff could have just played the game over with a clean slate, but perhaps Hogwarts thought that the game would end quicker (i.e., less time spent outside the castle) if both teams already had points on the board.

It also just seems more logical. The match was postponed, not cancelled to be played again, after all ^_^

> "--the Final Showdown!" This final, dramatic pronouncement was punctuated with an impossibly loud roar from the crowd. "Are-you-readyyyyy?"

Heh heh heh. . . Ara's been watching some WWF wrestling, methinks ;)

Why is Hufflepuff a Cinderella team? Because it's a parvenue?

> (Instead of fluttering around aimlessly, they were moshing to the Beasties' beat.)

Hee! Well, whatever works! Idle question: does Hex have the same musical tastes as you?

> own stomach in some semblance

English major takes the helm: --> "stomach into some"

> The Hufflepuff Head of House wore robes bedecked with a number of rather soiled yellow rosettes and carried an outsize daffodil to show her support

How perfect! Yellow flowers bedecking the Herbology prof, who's appropriately earthy ^_^

> Never in all my days at Hogwarts have I ever seen Hufflepuff reach the Quidditch final

How long has she been there? ;) Willing to suspend my disbelief for your storyline in any case; it makes their (I'm assuming inevitable--come on, how do you vanquish the Beastie Boys?) win that much better.

> Hex breathed deeply as the team embraced, inhaling the combination of people, earth, plants, water, and flowers. Professor Sprout smelled like life.

Wow! Is Hex actually getting sentimental? ;) Seriously though, that's really sweet. Yay for Professor Sprout!

> The Head of Hufflepuff House smiled as her students made good use of their Golden Horns. "If you had wanted to transfigure your benches into lions, my dear Minerva, I wouldn't have stopped you."

Heh heh heh. . . yeah, it's a shame Sylvestra didn't mention that earlier!

> But instead of just shaking hands, Samira and Angelina embraced

This is why women need to rule the world.

> "We're Hufflepuffs, dammit! We're not afraid of hard work! We're not afraid of suffering!" ... it didn't matter if they were behind, what mattered was that their team was going to fight to the very end.

Which is exactly why I think the Hufflepuffs will be playing a pivotal role in the 6th and 7th books :)

> More of Ara's Notes: Yes, Hufflepuff lost

But they won the game, and they tried their hardest! That's what counts. And it's better than Hufflepuff has done in recent years anyway!

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-05
Reviewid: 45551Chapter: 15
> "That guy could make a living as a fight promoter," Hex observed as he waited for Justin to get on with the introductions, "or a televangelist."

LOL. I sincerely hope not the latter. Jerry Falwell is televangelist enough.

> the students took extra Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons (whoopee, extra helpings of Professor Snape)

Awww, come on. You don't find grumpiness attractive?

> Because Orlando Pettit, the Slytherin commentator, was not on duty that day thanks to an encounter with an Extra-Strength Ton-Tongue Toffee the day before, Justin had to introduce the opposing team as well

Awwww, poor thing. Is Justin pulling in his connections to the Weasleys via Lee? ;)

> "Taking books out on the grounds is against the rules!"

*shakes head and pats Sev on head* Now, now, no making up rules on the spur of the moment!

> "Public displays of affection!" Professor Snape exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the pair. "Twenty points must be taken from each of them!"

Hee! You're just jealous because you aren't getting any yourself!

> Professor McGonagall made a grab for the megaphone, but the curly-haired boy slid further down the bench and out of her reach

Lee's taught him well!

> Hex growled and aimed a Bludger at him, drawing a foul

Why is that a foul?

> "Derrick! Bole! What are you doing?" Professor Snape called from the stands. "You're Beaters, not prizefighters!"

Heh heh heh. . . that's what you get when you put morons on the team and give them clubs!

*chuckles appreciatively at Maeve "accidentally" smacking Montague upside the head*

> "My dear boy, it is practically a certainty. Hufflepuffs never win anything. They're worker bees, valued more for their backs than their brains. Granted, maybe Diggory was a fl—"

Draco sounds OOC here, but it's completely typical of him to be insulting the Seeker of the opposing team when they catch the Snitch :)

I'm so glad to see people from all the different houses getting along well together, especially after a Quidditch match and while everyone's stressed out about exams! I hope this camaraderie continues; it's lovely, especially since we never get any in canon as Harry has no true friends besides Ron and Hermione, really.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-05
Reviewid: 45544Chapter: 14
> I got the name "Eris" from the Greek goddess of discord

Hee! I've got an Eris in my story, too ^_^ Did you know that she was the one who through the golden apple marked 'For the fairest' into the crowd at Peleus and Thetis' wedding, starting the Trojan War?

Oh, and can I also compliment you on your use of quotations at the start of each chapter? ;) Quotations ROX.

> Then he had the most unsettling thought that maybe they were being watched in the bathroom, through some kind of wizard closed circuit TV or something

Ughhh. I sincerely hope not.

> "And I thought you knew that she is in my father's custody until she comes of age. While she is under our roof, Father will not — and I quote — 'tolerate any consorting with Mudbloods or other such foolishness.'"

Do I sense a Siriusesque escape on the horizon?

> "If Maeve is going to choose Draco over you, Hex, I'll have to hold her up by her ankles and shake some sense into her."
> The other boy smiled briefly. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, pal, but you've got to be practical about these things. She needs to eat and stuff. She can't choose me."

*sigh* What Hex said. Poor girl.

> With any luck, they could end up in the deserted side courtyard again and she could kiss him goodbye. Shut up, you moron. This is a life-changing decision we're talking about here and all you can think of is making out

Give yourself a break, Hex. You *are* a boy after all, and a teenage one at that ^_^

> Hex stood in the woman's path and waved a hand in front of her face. "Uh...over here, lady. Are you, uh, lost or something?"

Uhhh. . . NOT a good idea, Hex. Come on, you lived in NYC for 15 years and you still want to help what is obviously a crazy woman?

> She was surprisingly strong and had hauled Maeve to her before Hex could react.

*sighs and rests forehead on table*

> He heard a voice say "Sonorus," and his magically magnified screams ripped through his ears

Nice thinking, Maeve!

> "The sound of your voice alerted Hagrid that you were in trouble."

*rolls eyes* Well, that's putting it mildly!

> "All right," the other boy replied, smiling shakily. "I–I'm glad you got over that curse. It's—I heard it can be horrible."

Poor Neville! *sniff*

> he wasn't too comfortable with the idea that everyone within a fifty-mile radius had heard him screaming. It wasn't a very macho thing to do, after all

Oh, come off it already! You almost died and all you can think about is how unmacho you were?

> "Well, we can’t let you have all the fun," Hex told Harry.
> "I definitely don't mind sharing," the other boy replied, smiling

*notes complete lack of chemistry and conversation*

> A small whirlwind brushed past Hex, and the next thing they all knew, Maeve was in Draco's face. "Lay off, Draco," she ordered, her voice shaking as she tried to keep her temper in check. "Eris Lestrange didn't put the Cruciatus Curse on you." Maeve gave him a shove. "You weren't (shove) even (shove) there. (shove) So don't pretend you know all about it. Screaming like a girl, indeed. (shove) If I hear another screech out of you or any of your toadies, (shove) you'll be the one screaming like a girl."

Whoo! YAY, MAEVE!!! *There's* the tyrant we all know and love! :D

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-05
Reviewid: 45537Chapter: 13
> Dean Thomas was the new Keeper and Ron Weasley the new Chaser

Close, but no cigar. Ah, well. At least you got Ron on the team!

> What can I say? Hex has finally corrupted me

He has to be corrupted to be optimistic? That's very sad. Well, whatever works though, right?

Off-topic, but can I say how glad I am that you seem to be a cat person? SOME people *cough*Axelle*cough* think dogs are better. It's allll about cats.

> "And besides all that, Justin," Hex said, "you're probably faster than Lee, so if he's out-talking you, just break his nose and run away with the megaphone."

LOL. Obviously this kid grew up in NYC.

> Her sister gave her a baleful look. "Don't you ever go to work, Margaret?"
> "Certainly, Minnie," the redheaded woman replied cheerfully. "But I deserve a day off now and then, don't I?" She dimpled as the professor's lips thinned. "And I do enjoy a good Quidditch match."

LOL! I hope we get more Maggie/Minnie dialogue in later chapters :) Those two just complement each other so perfectly.

> "I give you — Thomas! Bell! Johnson! Weasley! Weasley! Weasley!

*giggles*

Why 3:16?

> "We're supposed to be unbiased and objective!" Lee told him.
> Justin laughed as he sat back down. "Why don't I cheer for Hufflepuff and you cheer for Gryffindor? That way, we'll be cancel each other out and it'll still be fair."
> The other boy laughed, too. "Makes sense to me."
> Professor McGonagall groaned.

LOL! Oooh! Are those two actually going to get along? Wouldn't that be unexpected! A nice plot twist, though.

> Maeve shot him the "you’re-so-dense" look that was the specialty of all girls with PMS

Why does it not surprise me that that little thing is capable of so much ire? :)

> With an impatient little sigh and a roll of his eyes, Hex gave up on trying to talk any sense into Maeve and kissed her

A time-honored and extremely effective way of getting someone to shut up.

And Hex and Maeve FINALLY got together! It's about time! As I said, all that sexual tension had to crack at some point! ^_^

Reviewer: JonDate: 2003-08-05
Reviewid: 45500Chapter: 20
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
THIS IS NICEEEEEEEE GREAT GReAT AMAIZN JOB!!!
but harry potter didnt get the snitch!!!!!!!!=0
still, i guess hufflepuff deserves sum glory. great story write sum more.

Reviewer: Newbia the ElfDate: 2003-08-04
Reviewid: 45375Chapter: 20
Pro:This is SO funny.
Con:Very unrealistic. I'm the practical sort,so I don't really imagine Hufflepuff's being THAT unsure of themselves,nor do I think that they would suddenly be all perky and cheering and stuff.

Reviewer: Hermione GirlDate: 2003-08-04
Reviewid: 45349Chapter: 20
I love this story! It makes me feel all nice and...fuzzy. :) I love all the characters, especially yours!

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-04
Reviewid: 45319Chapter: 12
> The big boy was going to spend Christmas at his family's farm somewhere in Wales.

*refrains from making Welsh farmer jokes*

> "And it works so well on colds. It's like magic!"

Little do you actually know. . .

> to the either of their offices

Typo!

I've been curious for a long time about those envelopes Maggie keeps asking Hex to give to Dumbledore. I have a feeling something's going to happen to the envelope or we'll find out what's in them this chapter. . . is Maggie trafficking drugs?! :O :O

> It took a few attempts before they formed a chorus line and danced around the chessboard singing "New York, New York."

LOL! I've always thought that Flitwick had a sense of humor. Of course, with his height, he kind of has to!

> "Don't be afraid!" Professor Flitwick told Hex's hip pocket.

*giggles*

> "I'll never get that image out of my head," he muttered

LOL. Only with Filch would smiling do that to a person. Even Snape smiles sometimes--granted, usually for reasons that don’t make anyone else happy, but at least he's capable of it!

> I will give you your Defense examination only if you pass the Potions examination.

Can he *do* that? Nasty jerk ^_^

> Hex swore he could hear the Jaws theme song playing in his head as he followed Snape to the front of the chamber

I can imagine! Cue eerie resemblance to Harry's Occlumency lessons.

> Again, Hex dove to the floor to avoid the curse

*giggling* I probably shouldn't be laughing because that's probably how he survived living with Hank, but it's still funny to see him skipping rope with Snape!

> Stop staring at me, Holmstrom. The examination is over.

*laughs and pats Snape affectionately on the head as he tries to soothe his battered pride*

> Peter had given him a pocketknife with all kinds of interesting blades and tools

Taking a leaf out of Sirius' book, hmm? ;)

> "It was the least she could do after Ron nearly had you arrested," Fred said.

LOL! (And now I know why Ron and Hex get on so well together: they both like sassing people and causing trouble!)

> Snape stared stonily into his goblet. Hex supposed that either Snape was not pleased at the news, or that was as close as he came to looking happy.

*giggles at the latter suggestion*

Yay for Hex passing his exams! I knew he would, of course, but it's nice to have the proof right in front of you :D

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-04
Reviewid: 45312Chapter: 11
Uric the Oddball doesn’t belong to JKR?

> "Aw, lay off him, Hermione," Ron said. "A bloke's got to daydream once in a while."

*pets Ron* See what a nice guy he is once you stop being a stupid, blind @ss?

> Hermione scolded the redheaded boy for creating a distraction — but whether he was distracting her or Hex, she wouldn’t say.

LOL. This girl's going to be so funny once she actually falls in love. . .

> He figured it was better to agree than to lay all his issues on them

He is so like Harry. But I agree with what we said earlier--it's impossible to see them as friends. Two brooding kids would just be even more brooding together. That's why Harry and Hex get along so well with their more outgoing friends.

> Ginny, on the other hand, had turned a mottled pink.

Awww :( The poor girl, always getting superceded by Cho. Really, when will boys learn to look beyond the pretty face?

> exercises; and Hermione

English major's quibble: that semicolon should be a comma :)

> Susan, Megan and some other girls were chatting in one corner about what they were going to wear to the dance (assuming someone asked them), while a group of boys sat across the room, watching a chess game when they weren't sneaking looks at the girls.

And that line captures the very essence of middle/high school beautifully :)

> "She's half a foot taller than you, Maeve. If you'd held her up by the ankles, her head would have dragged on the floor."

LOL! She's so funny. I would love some outtakes from her POV. . . *hint hint*

> "And I know that she's waiting for you to ask her."
> Hex blushed, his study-induced headache disappearing.

Hee! Funny how crushes do that ;)

> Scenting danger, Peter flung a piece of orange peel at Hex

LOL! He smells danger, so he throws something citrusy-smelling!

> Hex jumped off his bench and did a few hokey sixties-style dance moves on his way toward Maeve

Oh. My. God. I LOVE this kid. *giggles* This whole scene is so great. If you do rewrite this chapter, I'd LOVE for the Hufflepuffs-serenading-McGonagall to be extended--I want to enjoy it for longer! :) (And I want to know what Maggie thinks!)

> People were talking about . . . what they hoped would be on the menu

Let me guess. . . Fred and George Weasley?

> "You'll all be on your best behavior tonight, won't you?"

That means no hanky-panky, you know!

> the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress led the Hogwarts staff in a sedate waltz to open the dancing

I thought that said "a SEDUCTIVE waltz" at first and started cackling like mad!

> The Gryffindors cheered as Fred Weasley whirled Angelina Johnson out into the center of the dance floor

They *would* be the ones to start the dancing!

> "Maeve! Stop this vulgar behavior at once!"

*rolls eyes* Oh, stop being such a pompous prig.

> Draco gave the snickering Hufflepuffs one last glare before stalking away

*pleased* He seems to be doing that a lot now around the Hufflepuffs ^_^

> Hermione called out from where she was wrestling Ron into some semblance of a dance.

*giggles imagining Hermione working Ron's arms around like a mannequin's*

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-04
Reviewid: 45303Chapter: 10
> "Don't you ever do that again!" Hex yelled at Maeve.
> The small girl smiled cheerfully and showed him the Snitch, like a child who had just found a pretty rock. "But we won!"

*rolls eyes* I'm with Hex on this one. What does she think she is, a cat with nine lives?

> At the sight of Maeve, alive and well in Hex's arms, Professor Sprout fainted dead away

LOL. Poor thing. She kind of reminds me of a scatterbrained Molly Weasley.

> Professor Sprout and the suit of armor learning the Macarena

*giggles* You MUST do an outtake about that.

> Justin laughed loudly as he slathered his toast with marmalade. "Well, Malfoy, if you want to jump off your broomstick to catch the Snitch, we're definitely not going to stop you."

Hee! Great line.

> "Getting too big for your britches, aren't you, Finch-Fletchley?"
> "Maybe I am," the curly-haired boy replied good-naturedly. He grinned as he held up a pinky finger. "Which is more than I can say for you, eh?"

*scandalized gasp* Ara! These are innocent, unpolluted children who have never thought about sex before! *giggles*

> The big boy looked mildly from Hex to the Ravenclaws

More Peter, please! The smallest of his actions are imbued with so much character; I want to know more about him!

> when Maeve walked into the dungeon and smiled cheerfully at everyone, the Ravenclaws nodded at her with grudging respect. She might have been one of the evil Hufflepuffs that beat them at Quidditch last weekend, but she was also the lunatic who jumped off her broomstick and fell practically a hundred feet to do it.

And let's not forget she's a pretty girl.

> Maeve's hand shot up in the air before anyone else’s could.

Whoo! Maeve trying to emulate Hermione to gain Hex's affections?

I liked the brief history Maeve gives of the Polynesian Blagidli Palm; it sounds really interesting. Any plants actually like that in the Philippines? ;)

> He turned crimson and looked daggers at Hex. "Well," he said slowly, "I reckon I'm going to ask...I'm going to ask--" He turned to Hermione, who was looking expectantly at him, "--Hermione."

YAY FOR HEX! It's about time Ron asked Hermione out! One can take only so much sexual tension. (Which means Luke and Lorelai have to crack soon!)

>The table shook violently as Hex kicked him in the shin. "Oof!" Ron bit back an oath and glared at him.

*giggles* Everyone should have a Hexn to make their love lives easier!

> "But the Lestranges have broken out of Azkaban."

You must've been channeling JKR here (and in several other places too, I've noticed!) How neat to have parts of your AU come true!

> "You'll be surprised how people can turn into animals — figuratively speaking, of course — just so they can become powerful."

Heh heh heh. . . was that "figuratively speaking, of course" put in as a disclaimer so Corgi wouldn't hunt you down? ;)

Fluffernutters sound like some kind of marshmallow treat, btw :)

> "You aren't going to be able to take Susan to the dance if you don’t talk to her, you know."

Look who's talking, kid. I haven't seen you asking Maeve yet!

I must compliment you again on your Hagrid accent. You should give lessons on how to write a believable Hagrid :)

Reviewer: Newbia the ElfDate: 2003-08-04
Reviewid: 45265Chapter: 8
Pro:Herm! Lol. Hex is very funny.

Con:I thought that what you did to Malfoy&Co was very unfair. They deserve it,but it's still unfair. I can't imagine everyone in Hufflepuff doing that. Or ANYONE in Hufflepuff for that matter,and only a few in Gryyfindor and Ravenclaw. And all this feel-goodness is going to make me puke. But that's just me...^-^

Pro/Con:"Now, Mr. Weasley, no points will be deducted from Gryffindor. However, a detention is only appropriate in this case, is it not?" "It's not every day a Hufflepuff wins twenty-six house points by getting himself arrested!" I don't think people make that big of a deal of house points. Otherwise,Hermione would have a party in her honor everyday,and Fred and George would be the most unpopular people in the school,but never have to go to detention.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-03
Reviewid: 45198Chapter: 9
Love the title of this chapter as well!

> "Hex is a Hufflepuff, too, isn't he?" Maeve retorted

Whoo! Looks like Pete needs to look out or he'll shortly find himself minus a girlfriend!

> He laid a soothing hand on her arm, then jerked it back when he realized Peter was looking.

Oh, those scandalous teenagers! ;)

> that out most inexperienced player

Typo!

> Samira said his two-handed swings were rather unorthodox and he had to work on controlling the Bludger instead of just getting it as far away from him as possible

LOL!

> "I think whatever Hex has is catching," Peggy remarked with a laugh. "He has us all believing we can win this year!"

Good! It's about time the Huffs did something besides just contentedly plod along.

> Maeve? My girlfriend?" Peter chuckled. "No. We're only friends. I–I'm more interested in someone else,"

A-HA! For some reason I just couldn’t see Hex stealing his friend's girlfriend. *singsong* Hex is getting a girlfriend!

> She was definitely not in Maeve's league, but the smile she gave them lit up her pale face and showed Hex how far below the surface his friend could see.

Awww :) We need more boys like that. Especially ones who're nice and draw as well.

Croesus Gringott? Brilliant.

> The ceiling was festooned with streamers. On the walls, banners screamed slogans like "WE BELIEVE" or "BADGERS FIGHT." The common room floor was flooded with balloons. All of the decorations were in the Hufflepuff House colors. Even the figures in the tapestries sported clothing in House colors. Music blared from Justin's stereo, but it was barely heard over the pounding of a multitude of drums of all sizes.

Oh, Ara, this is so lovely, seeing the Hufflepuffs all excited about something. Gryffindor's enthusiasm has a reckless, raucous quality to it, and Slytherin's excitement is always sinister and usually at some other house or person's expense, but the Hufflepuffs seem to just want to have an honest good time :)

> An electric thrill shot through Hex as he stepped out onto the field. The green of the grass, the bright blue of the sky, and the roar of the crowd were right out of his dreams.

*thrills along with Hex*

> The crowd watched, some stunned, most screaming, as Maeve released her broomstick and plummeted to the ground.

Is Maeve NUTS?! OMG. I'm glad Hex caught her, but geez! What was she thinking? And what a way to end the chapter!

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-03
Reviewid: 45195Chapter: 8
I love the title of this chapter!

> (What is it with JKR and alliterative names? Both the Founders and the Heads of House have them. Do you need to have an alliterative name to become a Head of House?)

LOL! I'd never noticed that before.

> There was a chorus of "SHUT UP, MALFOY!" from quite a few of the Hufflepuffs.

And there's that Hufflepuff loyalty! It's about time they started rallying around Hex.

Not sure Mr Weasley would try to arrest someone only on his son's authority and without investigation, though.

> "And is this an emergency, Miss Moondaughter?"
> The dark-haired girl shot him a look that said Duh! and a scandalized laugh almost burst out of Hex

LOL! You know, I don't care if she *is* a veela at this point; I like her.

> Mr. Weasley's severe expression disappeared almost immediately, replaced by an almost comical look of wonder. "Amazing!" he exclaimed.

Hee! Too bad for Ron that his dad likes Muggle stuff so much!

> "They are not supposed to," the elderly wizard pointed out, his eyes twinkling, "but it remains possible that they can

This reminds me of some similar wordplay in RJ Anderson's Darkness and Light stories about professors dating students. You've got to love Dumbledore. And I'm glad Ron doesn't get off scot-free. That would be too much.

WHOO for Draco and his minions getting their comeuppance! A food fight even has that deliciously boorish nature that would make it even more galling to a pretentious prat like Malfoy.

> Hex was embarrassed to note that while they were both fifteen, Ron already had hair on his chest

And another delightfully realistic detail. I'm glad to see that Hex has insecurities, and over something incredibly teenagerish.

*rolls eyes* Boys are so oblivious. Ron's reaction to Hex telling him he had a crush on Hermione was priceless.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-03
Reviewid: 45193Chapter: 7
> "We agreed that it would be best to just let the students have fun without the pressure of competition."

Silly woman. Don't you know that competition *is* fun?

Am wondering if Maeve is part veela, with her tinkly laughter, or whether she's just That Girl--the one all girls want to be and all guys want to date. Hmm. . .

> "What about Thanksgiving?" he asked before she could launch into a lecture on Halloween's significance in wizarding culture. Hex had spent enough time with Hermione to know that the smallest question could set her off

I'm glad *somebody* has figured out how to work her! I mean, really. It's about time.

> Caught in between the two, Harry sighed and rolled his eyes.

Even though he isn't in the story much so far, it's little things like this which make your characterizations so canonical. That was SO Harry.

> "Well, you make sure they're just observations, then," Ron snapped

Calm down, dear. It's not like Hex is a prefect and can actually take points off your house, you know.

> Ron frowned and muttered darkly at his pumpkin.

See: what I said above about your characters being IC. Hee! Poor Ron *pats him affectionately on head*

> "Uh...heheh..."

What a BOY thing to say! More kudos for your natural dialogue and writing style.

> "We ran through two years of Defense Against the Dark Arts tonight,"

*shakes head and sighs* You'd think Dumbledore would go to greater trouble to find good DADA teachers when there's a war gearing up. . . well, at least it means Hex doesn't have a lot to catch up on!

> "Hermione said you guys didn't really start learning anything until the third year."

When my sweetheart started teaching! *beams*

> The ruddy-faced boy looked scandalized. "We should report you for inciting us to rebellion," he said.

Rebellion! It's called standing up for your rights, yo!

I like the way you refer to characters by their appearances; "the curly-haired boy," "the ruddy-cheeked girl," etc. Much more interesting than hearing "Joe" and "Sue" all the time :)

> It looked like it had hurt him, too, as if the Potions teacher wasn't used to giving out good grades. Hex had enjoyed the look on Snape's face when he had handed back their graded assignments.

LOL. That shouldn't be funny but it is. He really needs to lighten up.

> "Think of the things we can do. Each of us doing something great for Hufflepuff House — what?" he demanded as Ernie and his friends fled, again accusing Hex of trying to corrupt them.

*rolls eyes* And THAT is why Hufflepuffs and Slytherins don't get along.

> my tutoring I still going on

Typo!

The Halloween entertainment sounds marvelous. Very fun and appropriate to the holiday (except for Moaning Myrtle's speech, of course). It adds a really nice touch to the chapter, before. . .

Ooooh, that Ron! He really needs to get his jealousy under control. Hex IS NOT INTERESTED IN HERMIONE. Geez. *shakes head* Boys.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-02
Reviewid: 45012Chapter: 6
> Hex grinned. "Love ya, Madam Hooch."

LOL. What a charmer.

> Peter was nowhere in sight.

Heh heh heh. . . *waggles eyebrows suggestively*

YAY for getting Hex out of Hogwarts! I'm glad he isn't working in Hogsmeade--been there, done that. And what a way to experience the country, hmm?

And what a nice contrast between Maggie and Minerva! I'd like to see how the two get on. Does Minerva disapprove of Maggie's informality?

Snape's the DADA professor? *goggles* Wow. I hope Hex talks about some of his classes there!

> "It took Ron maybe twice as many tries before he finally mastered Wingardium Leviosa."

Uh-oh. . . better not tell Ron that. *sigh* He's going to go all jealous again, isn't he? Silly boy.

Very curious to know what's up with Hex's other roommates. . . they weren't acting all weird before. Hmm. . .

> "And a jolly good morning to you, too, sweetheart," Hex said through gritted teeth.

Hee! I like this kid!

> Maeve turned back to Zippo just as Padma stepped right into a mud puddle that hadn't been there before.

Hee! As I said, I see romance blooming. . .

> He put an arm around Maeve’s shoulders and squeezed

DUN DUN DUN!!!

Hex has now been added to my LJ Friends list :D

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-02
Reviewid: 45009Chapter: 5
This Maeve seems like a very interesting character (and not just because she talks sleepwear to Draco). She has fans, hmm, and makes the boys blush? Interesting. . .

> "What doesn't she already know?" Ernie said. "Hermione's always top in everything. She can tutor you in any subject."
> "Whatever. This is still the schedule Hogwarts gave me."

You tell him, Hex! Don't let him ruffle you.

> The redheaded boy raised an eyebrow. "You Yanks sure work fast," he observed dryly.

Oh, calm down. Even though Hermione's certainly as smart as Rory, I don't think she’s the type to fall for troubled badasses. Besides, if you're so jealous, why don't you ask her out so you don't have to worry about her falling for dashing Americans studying abroad?

It seems that they'd (Ron and Hex, that is) get on really well, actually, once Ron realizes Hex isn't after Hermione. Their senses of humor seem compatible that way.

And yay for more realism! Hex actually is going to have to spend lots of time catching up on things--he doesn't just magically soak it all up overnight. (Can you tell how many bad fics I've read yet?)

Heh heh heh. . I *knew* Hex and Snape would hit it off ;) Hex has exactly the right kind of attitude to both piss Snape off and not be afraid about doing it, which we NEVER see in canon and I've never seen in fanfiction (except in Juliane's fics, but Viv's not a student). And he isn't affected by Snape's heckling! Students are invariably petrified by, indifferent to, or pets of Snape, so this is a very welcome change. I'm really looking forward to more Potions classes.

> If he were in Brooklyn, he'd get his pants sued off.

Well, he's not in Brooklyn, but that doesn't stop his pants from coming off--often--in fanfiction! :D

The Shivering Shummelflubs are cute. Plants that live on coffee! Hee! And Parvati and Lavender. . . they certainly would be the ones to go after a flirtatious American exchange student, wouldn't they?

I'm glad Professor Sprout is taking such a motherly approach to Hex. *And* that he's not fighting it. Even though she's spilling dirt all over him, the cute little thing.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-01
Reviewid: 45007Chapter: 4
> "Hufflepuff?" Hex laughed. "Sounds like a breakfast cereal."

Hee! *giggles*

> "Mr. Holmstrom?" said a crisp voice at his side.

I could tell who this was just from the 'crisp' :D

Good job with the Sorting Hat--I've always been envious of people who can write a Sorting Hat song that actually rhymes and isn't ludicrous.

Hex's reaction to the Fat Friar is cute, and the ghost himself seems very likeable. I hope we get to see more of him in this story; the poor ghosts are ignored most of the time in canon and fanfiction.

Aww. I'm glad Hex has struck up a friendship with the trio. The poor kid needs a few friendly faces around him.

> He looked like Santa Claus after a very successful crash diet.

LOL! Nice description! :D

Ooh! Hermione gets to tutor Hex? This should be good. I can't imagine a better tutor.

> Miss Maggie McGonagall, sister of our very own Professor McGonagall

Maggie and Minnie McGonagall! How cute!

And I'm glad Hex is actually going to have to work his way through school; kudos to you for not just taking the easy way out and making Dumbledore a cross between Santa Claus and Andrew Carnegie; staying away from idealism is good.

> Potted plants brightened up lonely corners. Hex then noticed that the walls were curiously curved, and the fireplaces and doorways rounded instead of rectangular. The Hufflepuff common room was a spacious, cheery place — practically a palace compared to Hank's digs in Brooklyn — but he couldn't help but get the impression that he was standing in the middle of a giant rabbit warren.

What a lovely description of the Hufflepuff Common Room. It's exactly how it should look like, warm and inviting. And the fact that everything’s rounded just seems perfect and fitting. A rabbit warren indeed!

From all of Hex's asides about Maeve's dating status and attractiveness, I think I sense a romance blooming. . .

And what a charming note to end the chapter on. Hex truly is home now. Good.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-01
Reviewid: 44902Chapter: 3
> "Hello," he said, holding out his hand, "you must be Hex. I'm Remus Lupin. I'm here to help you buy your school things."

*squeals* REMUS!!!

> "It must have been jet lag." He stopped short as he realized that wizards probably didn’t know what that was. "Or Knight Bus lag, or...something."

LOL! Muggle --> HP humor is so fun ^_^

> Remus smiled. "Don't worry, I understand that you're still running on American time."

*pets Remus*

> "The school is paying for your things, Hex," Remus told him, "and Hogwarts can very well afford to get you brand-new things."

Indeed. I'd love to know how big the endowment is.

> "There is a class called Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts; and if you decide to take it, you might just meet one."

(Isn't that class one of the required ones?)

> "Wow." Hex racked his brain for more fantastic creatures he had read about or seen in movies. "Well, what about the Swamp Thing? Or the Creature from the Black Lagoon?"

Aww. It's good seeing him excited about something--it seems like it's about time he had something good happen to him.

> That tape measure...not as serious as the old one...they don't make them the way they used to

LOL!

> Dr. Nadabooboo's Sticking Plasters

*giggles*

> Then he noticed how worn the Weasleys' clothes were — they were shabbier even than Remus' — and he was glad he followed the older man's lead and refused.

Yay for perceptiveness and a conscience!

> Hex coolly inspected the trio standing in the doorway. "The filling in a spoiled brat sandwich?"

LOL! I knew I liked this kid! :D

> The redheaded boy was also carrying a cage containing what looked like a feathery, madly hooting Mexican jumping bean.

Best description of Pig EVER.

> "What a loser. He thinks he's so bad-ass...he's just an ass."

Hee! I really, really like Hex.

And I like your writing style a lot, too. Very conversational and easy to fall into. It's sort of like a blue screen kind of style; so natural that it just fades into the background so the focus is on the story, the characters. Which is where it should be :)

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-01
Reviewid: 44900Chapter: 2
> In the dim light he could see the dark smears on his pillow, the latest chapter to the history told by the faded stains that were already there.

A lovely line. Very evocative, and much more eloquent than simply laying the facts bare.

> "Let 'im go, yeh stupid great oaf!" a man roared right after, and the next thing Hex knew he could breathe again.

*hugs Hagrid*

I am very impressed with Hagrid's and Mme Maxime's accents, especially since I know how difficult it is to write them. Very authentic sounding, and they don't sound at all ludicrous like they do when some authors write them. I'm jealous :)

> "'Course it's real," Hagrid said, exasperated. "You Muggles are too suspicious."

LOL *pets Hagrid*

> Tiny still looked unconvinced. "I've never heard of this Hogwarts," he said finally, "but I think going away to school would be the best thing for Chris right now."

Aww :) There's the SLaBC Luke equivalent :D I'm glad Hex has at least one person who really cares about him.

> Slung on his back was a bulging, battered knapsack that held all his possessions.

Heh. . . I've never understood how boys do that. . . fit all their possessions into one bag, that is ^_^

> "Welcome to the International Edition Knight Bus, servicing witches and wizards stranded abroad—"

Well, that's handy, isn't it!

> "He's enterin' as a fifth year."

*Really* interested to see how that works. Hex seems like the kind of guy who'd be able to handle whatever's involved, though.

> "My feet, zey are keeleeng me!"
> Hex eyed the boat-sized high heels she was removing and was not surprised.

*giggles*

> For a while it looked like they were standing in the middle of any city in the world, until a large red double-decker bus drove by. It was on the wrong side of the road

*sighs and looks longingly across the Atlantic*

> The Knight Bus was easier and definitely much quicker than traveling by plane, and he didn't have to worry about plane crashes and stuff like that.

Canon quibble: in PoA Stan says that the bus doesn't go underwater. Although it's entirely possible that some innovation in the following two years made the International Edition possible :)

> The large woman drew her wand from her huge handbag. "Alcogelius!" A milky cloud smelling strongly of antiseptic issued from the wand tip and Madame Maxime bade Hex to pass his hands through it. "You must always clean your 'ands before you eat!" she reminded him as she passed her own hands through the cloud.

Hee! Nice touch. I like that Olympe has a mommy side to her. Do we get to see more of her in the story? And why was she helping Hagrid retrieve Hex?

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2003-08-01
Reviewid: 44897Chapter: 1
Finally being a good girl and reading this, after wanting to every single time I read your sig in your PMs. Ah, well, better late than never, right? :D

> "You do, too! Don't think I don't know about that time you beaned Malik Jones!"
> "He caught the ball with his groin," Hex said.

LOL! BOYS!

> You're totally wrong for me. I have a bright future ahead of me if I work hard and go to college. You're...well, let's just say you're distracting me from that goal.

Ouch. Bitch. It's possible to have a distracting boyfriend and still do really well in school, you know--just look at Rory Gilmore!

And speaking of Rory. . . after reading this chapter, Hex sounds a *lot* like Jess. (Except I like him and don't like Jess. Hex is much more charismatic.) His conversation with Tiny could've passed for a conversation between Jess and Luke. Love it.

> "You're also a bad influence, trying to get me to ditch school and drink beer and...and...go all the way."

This girl cracks me up. She's the very picture of wide-eyed innocence.

> As he dawdled over his Egg McMuffin at a nearby McDonald's.

Completely unrelated, but I LOVE those things. And very clever having him get a Hogwarts letter at McDonalds. Now if the silly boy would just take them siriusly. . .

Wow. What a first chapter (and what a way to get readers to read the next chapter!). The poor kid :( Where’s Luke when you need him?

Reviewer: QueenieDate: 2003-07-26
Reviewid: 43913Chapter: 4
Awesome story so far! I'm definately reading the rest of it. And I particularly like how everything in Hufflepuff is rounded -- like hobbits' holes. :)

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43906Chapter: 13
I'm so excitedly rooting for Hex in about every way now. He really is a very charismatic character.

Catherine

Reviewer: kLynDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43832Chapter: 20
I thoroughly enjoyed this. What a charming character! Nice twist on the Harry-centric world.

Reviewer: LoneWolfDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43800Chapter: 20
Why in the world did it take me so long to read this!? I have NO idea! I absolutely LOVE this fic! I love Hex! HE ROX!

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-07-11
Reviewid: 41373Chapter: 10
Nicely paced Quidditch and a cliff hanger!

Looking forward to next week.

Catherine

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2003-07-10
Reviewid: 41295Chapter: 6
I was trying to think who Hex reminded me of in this chapter, and then I realized...Harry! It was SmartMouth!Harry from OotP! :D I love to see Hex stand up to Draco. Words like "Malfoy" and "pureblood" mean nothing to him, so he's not intimidated by Draco's pretensions.

Hex is as darling as ever ("Love ya, Madam Hooch!"), and resilient. lines like "If they weren’t, he was going to beat the crap out of Ferret Boy and report his family to Wizard Social Services — there had to be such a thing, right?" are subtle reminders of his history.

Hmm...Ron's starting to be a twerp, isn't he?

Desecrating the name of Hufflepuff? LOL! It's great to see the origins of the story's name.

I particularly like the moment when Hex sees Harry's scar. I think it shows restraint and skill on your part that Hex doesn't think it's "dark and foreboding, like a remnant of evil.." or anything corny like that. Very, very well-written passage:

<<“Well, I’m only going to try out,” Hex said. “It sounds like fun—hey, what’s that on your head?” On Harry’s forehead was a thin scar shaped like a bolt of lightning. “That is one mother of a scar, man. I’ve got one, too — look at this —“

Hermione gaped as Hex pulled back his sleeve to show the jagged scar that ran up his forearm. Almost all the people at his table looked at him as if he were insane. “What?” he asked. “I fell on some broken glass when I was a kid. It wasn’t life-threatening or anything.”

Harry smiled, amused. “Cool. It’s nice to know I’m not the only person with a scar in the world.”>>

That's got to be a nice change for Harry, too.

~Katinka

Reviewer: AmandaDate: 2003-07-08
Reviewid: 40936Chapter: 20
Hey Ara & Hex:

That was a great story, I really enjoyed reading it and can't wait for "Sounds Like A Frozen Dinner". Keep up the great work!

Reviewer: danDate: 2003-07-06
Reviewid: 40318Chapter: 3
excellent
a refreshing read Hex is a bit "americans are the best" but its still good

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-07-01
Reviewid: 39525Chapter: 8
Too much fun! I enjoyed Arthur's appearance. That was grand.

The language experiments are also fun. Dude, eh?

Nice writing overall, with a stretch into humor.

Catherine

Reviewer: Katie SDate: 2003-07-01
Reviewid: 39346Chapter: 20
Just read the whole story. It was lovely. I never thought there'd be a day when I would hope Gryffindor *didn't* win the house cup :)
Hex, Maeve and Peter are great characters, and I love Norman! I hope there's a sequel in the works! I imagine it's more difficult creating all new characters in addition to new situations...but you did a great job!

Bravo!

Reviewer: StephDate: 2003-06-26
Reviewid: 38665Chapter: 19
I really like this story a lot. You did a good job.

Reviewer: The White LilyDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38032Chapter: 20
Huf-fle-PUFF! Huf-fle-PUFF! : ) Well done. All perfect. : ) Wonderful.

Thank you so much, Ara, for the wonderful journey you've taken us all on in your story. I have thoroughly enjoyed it all. Thank you for sharing, and for finishing before OotP. : )

Reviewer: The White LilyDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38030Chapter: 19
Aaaaah, Hex, you're such a smoothie. : )

Now the tension has gone down a bit maybe I can be more coherent - wonderful writing! I generally flick down to the bottom all the way through to make comments, but I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! You've done an excellent job, both plot-wise and technique-wise of the climax of this story, totally gripping and totally jaw-dropping. Thank you. : )

The suit of armour belonging to Helga was a lovely touch - I agree totally with Dumbledore and the Hufflepuff Quidditch team on this one - hard working does not mean pushover! : )

Your explanation for Hex's presence at Hogwarts was good - I'm glad you resisted the age-old prophecy idea! I like the idea that Helga wanted him to debunk the Hufflepuff myth! I get this image of the posters they had up during the war with the big finger pointing towards the reader - "Your country wants YOU!"

Ferret-boy's reaction to Hex's recovery was perfect. Oh, does he have a name? Isn't he just "ferret boy"? ; )

Reviewer: The White LilyDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38028Chapter: 18
AAAARGH! You evil... evil... JK-type person! What an amazing twist! I did not see that coming at all, but it all makes sense now... : ) Very very very very tense. Mustreadonnowwillreviewlater!

Reviewer: The White LilyDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38026Chapter: 17
Neville trying to learn by Osmosis was truly priceless. : )

Aaaagh! TENSION IS KILLING ME! MUST READ ON!! (must say though - you've pulled a real JK on me by turning Peter into an animagus...)

Reviewer: The White LilyDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38021Chapter: 16
I forgot to say for the last chapter! Justin was, as always, wonderful! : ) The interactions between Justin and Lee in this chapter are priceless - they're just like real commentators, only they have the characters!

"Instead of fluttering around aimlessly, they were moshing to the Beasties’ beat." LMAO!!! I know exactly what you're talking about - the way when you're really stressed, and something's got a beat, everything's sort of jumping in time to that - but what a wonderful way to phrase it! It has equalled my other favorite phrase from fandom - I can never remember where it's from, but it is something like: "Hermione was certain that the butterflies in her stomach had rabies." Maybe I'm just a sucker for butterflies in the stomach metaphores, but oh man, I was laughing so hard when I read that!

You are so right about the Hufflepuffs becoming Hex's family in this fic - there's so much unity in the house you've created for us, which would be right for the house of the loyal!

What a good idea for the Hufflepuffs to use all the flowers from the greenhouse - and the golden horns were a great idea! And the Canary Creams as well! Good stuff. : )

Wow. Another Quidditch game, and so intense! The camaraderie and good-natured teasing between the two teams was just right for Hufflepuff/Gryffindor. I'm a bit glad - and a bit sad - that Hufflepuff lost. Having seen it from the other angle in canon, it would have been awful for the major part of the Gryffindor team to lose for their last year, but I so wanted Hufflepuff to win! I do think you're right though, Gryffindor are a very good team, it's not only Harry, it's the whole lot of them. Even though Hufflepuff have tried their best, and I'm sure it was tempting to make them win, they probably wouldn't have. Congratulations on taking a more creative route. : )

Reviewer: The White LilyDate: 2003-06-20
Reviewid: 38020Chapter: 15
I have finally returned to review from chapter 15 onwards! My fic is finished, my exam is over, my paper is submitted, and I have only nine and three quarter hours before OotP comes out in which to get a full night's sleep (the book comes out at 9:01 am in Australia) and read and review the endings to all my favourite "finished before the fifth book" fics. So here I go... : )

Very cool chapter. : ) I love all your Quidditch scenes - you are absolutely brilliant - I have so much trouble with Quidditch, and I don't know whether you do too, but I do know I appreciate well-written Quidditch more ever since I tried to write it. Well done!

You had Snape absolutely down to a tee. His need to take points from non-Slytherin houses was hilarious, as was the others refusal to let him. : )

"Bite his ear!" LOL! Oh my god, i'm laughing so hard! : )

Maeve's "attempt" at the Snitch, resulting in a slap in the head for poor Montague, was also hilarious!

The eventual capture of the Snitch was wonderful!

"That way, we'll all be able to concentrate on the lesson." Oooh, that's gotta hurt!

Only one criticism - I believe that "Beat on the Brat" is an Americanism. A (nasty) American might "beat on" his wife, wheras an equivalent Australian/Brit would "beat" his wife. So if the chapter title referred to beating Malfoy into the ground, you should probably just say "Beat the Brat". Subtle, but the "on" in the title sent me into a tailspin because I had no idea what you were talking about until I remembered about "beating on" people. : ) Oh, and I would also have written out "For your information" rather than FYI, just because net-speak irritates me. : )

Great chapter! Looking forward to the rest...

Reviewer: Nicole J.Date: 2003-06-19
Reviewid: 37822Chapter: 20
While the canon-thumping Ravenclaw in me frowns down upon all the silly bragging and inter-house competition in this fic... It was certaintly well-written, entertaining, and fun to read. I certaintly like the unorthodox, humoristic view of what at first appeared to be a quasi-AI fic, but turned into a lovely story. I love that you kept in mind Hex's shortcomings (like making him manually fix the muggle things, not be brainy and look up a spell, being rather thick-skulled and not listening to Defense Against the Dark Arts Lessons (It's the IMPERIOUS curse, boyo!)), and made all your OC's into good charecters. I like Pete, though I wish you'd developed him more in this fic- he's not exactly 2D, but he definatly needs more screentime.
I do like this fic very much.
Keep Writing!
Nicole J and Dewey Do Right (a very adorable pony whom is rather disgruntled- you had Ron and Hex clean out a stable but didn't feature any horses! JK... he liked the fic to. He tried to eat it. On several occasions.)

Reviewer: JayneDate: 2003-06-18
Reviewid: 37501Chapter: 20
“Who, me?” Hex asked, his voice carrying through the stunned silence.

Dumbledore chuckled. “Yes, you.”
Brilliant, AK, (hey that's close to JK), brilliant, I say. I really enjoyed this whole fic because it combined lightheartedness with action, bravery, and most importantly, inspiration. Awesome.

Reviewer: nikiDate: 2003-06-18
Reviewid: 37451Chapter: 20
I like feel good movie endings. You really don't see enough of them. Anyway, I think you did a great job with this story, I really enjoyed it. Also, congratulations on finishing such a significant chunk of work (and before the fifth book came out too!)I look forward to your next story.

Reviewer: jessieDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37372Chapter: 20
write a sequle PLEASE

Reviewer: KatDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37333Chapter: 20
*sighs* It's over, and just in time for the fifth book, too. I'm going to miss Hex. He's one of my favourite OCs. :) The whole story just puts a smile on my face. Excellent job.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37322Chapter: 20
What a sweet ending! I really enjoyed this story and I'm looking forward to more Hex!

Reviewer: AnneDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37312Chapter: 20
A sweet ending to an entertaining story.

Reviewer: Carmen SandiegoDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37302Chapter: 20
Yay! Happy feel-good movie endings rock!! I feel so happy! But seriously, I am jumping up and down in happiness, because I'm jsut weird that way.

Reviewer: Llyn MoriathDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37296Chapter: 20
Ara, just wanted to say that I've been reading this from the start even though I haven't reviewed till now. Well done; it's nice to see Hufflepuff get some recognition, and i love your OC's. They're loads of fun and I had fun reading. Looking forward to your next work!

Reviewer: Blue KelpieDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37279Chapter: 20
Brilliant! I love that Hufflepuff won the house cup they deserved it. I await "Sounds like a frozen dinner"!

Kelpie

Reviewer: shellebelleDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37277Chapter: 20
*sigh* Hufflepuffness. Great job!

Reviewer: dr. zDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37271Chapter: 20
aawww...it's all over...had a blast reading 'sounds like a breakfast cereal'! can't wait to read more of your stuff!*cough*wizard king*cough* :D

peace!

~z

Reviewer: rayeDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37261Chapter: 20
Maeve's going back to the Malfoys'?! EEK! Hope she'll be alright. A great job, you've made me like the Hufflepuffs a whole lot more than I originally did! Gryffindor's still my favourite though (typical, yeah?). :o) But Hex is cool. Can't wait to see more Hex and Hufflepuff action in the sequel!

Reviewer: RobertDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37256Chapter: 20
Very cool. Loved it. Any chance of a sixth year Hex story? :-)

Take care and GO BADGERS!!!

Reviewer: LisaDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37243Chapter: 20
There IS a sequal, right.....?

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