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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 51

Reviewer: Pheonix FeathersDate: 2006-06-04
Reviewid: 143215Chapter: 2
i like the idea, but the fact that it is told by McGonagal does make me flinch... but irs great!!, lol

DId you have to finish it like that! oh!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-12-06
Reviewid: 136822Chapter: 2
Powerful – quite excellent. Thanks

Reviewer: Calanthe BorribleDate: 2005-10-07
Reviewid: 133907Chapter: 1
Just a note so that everyone reading this fic knows: this story is in fact finished. Sorry for not making that plain earlier!

Reviewer: *Date: 2005-10-07
Reviewid: 133904Chapter: 2
And where is the rest?

Reviewer: LauraDate: 2005-01-30
Reviewid: 112499Chapter: 2
Is this it? or can I await for more? Minerva is truly in her element and I find very fitting that one moment when she is ready to open the door but instead ends up listening to what the students say on the other side.

Reviewer: Mr FlyingFingersDate: 2004-09-20
Reviewid: 98809Chapter: 1
Ah, my soul aches! Things don't work out the way that we would like or hope, and the experience is unpleasant but unavoidable both as participants and as observers. Realism rears its ugly head in the Potterverse.

Overall, your characterizations were very well done. Professor McGonagall's character is one of the better that I have read; I appreciated the little ticks that gave her some depth, e.g., pinching the bridge of her nose.

However, I would have to agree with others that Ron and Hermione may not have been so extreme in their reactions, at least in the longer term. It is my opinion that Ron would not have acted so ungentlemanly in stealing a kiss and in reacting in anger without some substantial character development. Ron’s role as knight has been established early in canon and I believe that Ron’s conscious would have bothered him in spite of his hurt feelings. Ron has shown that he defends the honor of women, not besmirch it.

I have doubts if Hermione would have been as disgusted as she reacted, although my limited experience as a woman (i.e., zero) should be taken into account. It seems that her reaction might be appropriate if she were groped (or maybe kissed more intimately than a first kiss), but I think that a kiss—however misunderstood—should have engendered less disgust. Even more so that the kiss from a friend; albeit a friend with misguided intentions.

Nevertheless, as story, it is very solid. Your use of language and descriptions are first rate.

The situation itself is interesting in that I find is so sudden, I have to assume that a lot of the unspoken back story would explain much of the why (recent change in Hermione's feelings, some motivation for Ron's actions, Hermione's understanding of a kiss in the Common Room v. a kiss at the Platform 9 3/4, etc). Clearly, we are beyond this; you are reporting only the how.

Ron could have made his feelings known to Hermione with a kiss, but I am of the opinion that Ron would be more apt to take smaller, more hesitant steps towards a romantic relationship--especially being only fourteen going on fifteen. I hope that Hermione, being more aware of her feelings than Ron, would have been able to warn him off long ago.

Enough, this is not a ship war.

Given that you are simply presenting the climax of a larger story, I find that it was a captivating read, much like watching an accident in slow motion. Much as I am a Ron/Hermione fanboy (oh good lord, did I just say that??), I liked your story.

Nicely done!

Reviewer: CarmenDate: 2004-06-25
Reviewid: 88835Chapter: 2
This is really good! Normally, I'm an R/H shipper all the way -- but this was great. Minerva McGonagall was very much IC, as were Hermione and Ron. I especially thought that the the way Hermione acted after receiving the apology from Ron in the Great Hall was very IC. Again, you write brilliantly. Three cheers for Prof. McGonagall!

Reviewer: Anna MiltonDate: 2004-06-20
Reviewid: 87981Chapter: 2
Hello there. I have wanted to read this fic since I first saw it mentioned in your LJ, but unfortunately my schedule is usually so overloaded that I haven't had time to read any fanfiction at all for several months. Now that I find myself with some free time (the advantages of having surgery!), naturally I turned to this story, because the very existance of a shipsinker had me almost in squeals of delight. Were that, in this fandom that is so over-obsessed with (yuck) "romance", there were more fanfics of the kind.

But on to the fic itself! Happily, after having waited so long to read it, it amply satisfied my (high) expectations. Your use of language is truly superb. Being a rather verbose writer, I am always highly impressed when I see others use language in such a concise and effective manner. There was the occasional over-repetition of phrases and a few sentences that did not seem to flow as easily - but these are minor quibbles in what is a wonderfully written story (they would probably be "high points" in the work of a lesser writer!). I cite as examples of wording that struck me as particularly excellent the following: "light careered off a tooth of glass, and vanished", "wine-dark cord whisked into a loose knot, flopped over her knuckles" and "a knot of heads reared back from a squirt of water bright as flame". Truly, wonderfully rich, evocative and skilled use of language.

What gripped me the most, however, was the marvellous portrayal of Minerva. She is such a strong, self-possessed, well-defined character. Certainly the strict but fair witch we see (albeit little, alas) in canon. From my own observations of my mother, who is a teacher, I think you have captured the professorial side of Minerva's character perfectly.

I also find your deconstruction of the R/Hr ship to be particularly true to canon. While your fic is, for obvious reasons, not consonant with the events of OotP, I think that the new (so to speak) canon actually bolsters your interpretation of the dynamics between Ron and Hermione. Ron may not have kissed Hermione, but we saw him give her what is (given his culture and the nature of their friendship) a highly intrusive gift and while an unwanted perfume and an unwanted kiss are two very different kettles of fish, it's still haddock in them, if you take my meaning. Ron (whom I dislike, while acknowledging his narrative importance) seems to rather be the kind of brat who would act as he does in your story. I sincerely hope that Hermione's evident signs in OotP are enough for him to cease and desist -- if not, I really do hope that Hermione would react as she does in your fic, which was truly a satisfying and in-character answer. "It was disgusting" indeed!

I must say I loved the way you wrote Flitwick. He was truly cringeworthy, in a highly realistic way. Having been on the receiving end of various dotty people who insisted on addressing me and any of my closest friends as though we were a couple, or fated to be a couple (while my friend and I groaned inwardly), I can truly attest that art imitates life in the most accurate way. Another aspect I loved was your command of detail -- all the fascinating little tidbits woven into the text, like Neville's good command of theory, Filch and the tapestries, etc.

To wrap this up, excellent job! I certainly look forward to reading more of your work.

Reviewer: HaggarDate: 2004-06-06
Reviewid: 86072Chapter: 2
You break my heart! I was undecided about the whole R/H thing, but now it’s the ONLY thing I am sure of!

Reviewer: HaggarDate: 2004-06-06
Reviewid: 86065Chapter: 1
Your style is superb! I can’t wait for more instalments.

Reviewer: MonikaDate: 2004-06-03
Reviewid: 85773Chapter: 2
I just skimmed the second half of the last chapter as it was going kind of slowly. Try and keep the pace going a little better. Otherwise I liked it. Good grammar and use of descriptive words. You fit the dialouge in nicely.

Reviewer: Jennifer SaulsDate: 2004-06-01
Reviewid: 85577Chapter: 2
You are a very good writer. However, I feel like you have over-described everything. And I think that your characterizations of Ron, Hermione and McGonagall are way off-base. I don't mind the premise that the R/H ship is being sunk in this story (even though I am a stronger supporter this ship), but I don't think it would happen the way you have written.

Reviewer: jameyzDate: 2004-06-01
Reviewid: 85489Chapter: 2
Wow. I like it. I find it very intersting, especially McGonagall's reply to Albus. I'm off to read your other fics now.

Reviewer: cameronDate: 2004-06-01
Reviewid: 85487Chapter: 2
I don't like the fact that Ron and Hermione have completely given up on friendship.

Reviewer: RobinDate: 2004-05-30
Reviewid: 85332Chapter: 1
I must give a thumbs down to this fan fiction now matter how well written it was. Hermione and Ron are completely out of character. Hermione and Ron get into little squables about pointless things but they forget about it soon afterwords. They would never let something like that break up their friendship. Besides, we know Hermione and Ron are going to get together. JK supports it, and she gets to decide. After all, she is the author of the books.

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-04-22
Reviewid: 79781Chapter: 2
No matter how well written the story is (and it is!), the idea of the friendship between Ron and Hermione ending makes me sick. If they don't get together, all right, I can live with that. But not with their friendship ending.

Reviewer: lemoneDate: 2004-03-05
Reviewid: 73204Chapter: 2
I really loved this. It was emotional, and very real. The drama of it all felt right, I don't really know hoe to explain why, but it did regardless. Very compelling.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter (of course)

Reviewer: MariaDate: 2004-03-01
Reviewid: 72794Chapter: 1
The story was certainly well written, but OOC to the extreme. Maybe you ought to slap an AU label on it?

Reviewer: remembercedricDate: 2004-02-16
Reviewid: 71015Chapter: 1
This is a great story! Even though I, for some unknown reason, subscribe to the R/Hr ship, I've always thought this is closer to reality. The only quibble I have is the overuse of the following phrases: "‘I see.’ Minerva’s brows drew together; she freed a hand, pinched briefly at the bridge of her nose....Her skirts flapped around her ankles." Those things seem to be happening a lot. Don't mind me though... :) This is really fantastic! Yay.

remembercedric

Reviewer: AlexisDate: 2004-01-15
Reviewid: 67170Chapter: 1
Your McGonagall is a work of art! Very well done!

Reviewer: krissyDate: 2003-10-03
Reviewid: 55351Chapter: 2
Wow! That really was a shipsinker!

Reviewer: purrlygirlieDate: 2003-09-12
Reviewid: 52022Chapter: 2
A shipsinker on Sugar Quill? And a Ron/Hermione shipsinker at that. I'm impressed. That's daring. And to top it all off it was a great story. I loved that it was a bit of a mystery and was told from Minerva's POV. Hermione's reaction seemed a bit extreme. Anger and insult at Ron's assumtion I could understand, even disliking being kissed. But so severe a physical response made it seem pathological. More a product of Hermione's psyche than the very real objectification she was receiving from all the men around her. Including those who were meant to have her best interests at heart. Still, pathological girls need protection and respect as much if not more than their "normal" peers. I was completely in line with Minerva's frustration (except when she punished the whole class because Hermione was ahead on her classwork). Overall, a very good, if slightly depressing, read. And a bit of fresh air on this site. Although I miust admit, I still love R/H.

Reviewer: HeatherDate: 2003-09-11
Reviewid: 51906Chapter: 2
Wow! I really love this fic! Minerva is spot on!
Really,its great!

Reviewer: TaelleDate: 2003-09-11
Reviewid: 51877Chapter: 2
Oh, I loved this. Minerva was absolutely magnificent (and I want to be Minerva when I grow up *g*). And Flitwick in a way was the voice of usual observer, if you know what I mean. Now, I'm not so sure about Albus - is it Rowling's Albus or fanfic writers' Albus? I never thought he would really manipulate things quite to *that* extent.
Now what I missed in this story is Harry's opinion. Would he side with Ron or Hermione? Would he think they should date, or does he think it's all stupid? And will there be more of this story?

Reviewer: JamieDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51768Chapter: 2
... good so far... i liked part2 the best... u know i never thought about it but minerva is just like snape... 3 rolls of parchment for homework... she just doesn't have... the unfair takin away of everyone's house points but her own... the cold look about her.... and the mean remarks lol... but she still has this.... snape like quality lol... anyways great job!... can't wait to read more

Reviewer: ChrissyDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51740Chapter: 2
Wow! You know, I'm a R/H shipper, but I have to say I liked this story anyway! :) First of all, I thought it was really neat that it was about Ron and Hermione, but told from McGonagall's point of view. Also, it was just an interesting storyline. Very original.

Reviewer: SabreDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51710Chapter: 2
Well firstly I'd like to thank you for writing this (and being brave enough to post it here). I thoroughly enjoyed it. The story was well written, and I think you kept Ron and Hermione well in character. Just not the end result most of us here would prefer! It's always valuable to have accepted beliefs questioned, and that applies to ships as well as science :-) Thank you, I really enjoyed this!

Reviewer: SpartinaDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51704Chapter: 2
I don't really expect this to happen in canon, and I should be sorry to see it happen in canon. Just the same, I'm glad we have the shipsinker. I love Ron/Hermione as much as the next person, but when a ship becomes an orthodoxy, the time has come for someone to give it a full broadside.

I don't agree that who a person ends up with--or whether she even ends up with anyone at all--is ordained in the immutable constitution of things, or that one's character is carved in stone, at the age of fourteen. It's hardly outside the realm of possibility that Ron and Hermione could change with time, and the directions in which their characters have changed, in this fic, are plausible. A little too much "Weasley is Our King," a little too much adoration and idolatry, a little too much assurance (aided by folks like Flitwick) that he and Hermione belong together, and Ron could very well become obtuse enough to imagine that he had only to "steal a kiss" and Hermione would drop into his lap like a ripe plum. Ron's small vanities and pettinesses, and the fact that he has never applied himself to his studies and doesn't understand the value Hermione places on scholarship and work, could eventually irritate Hermione beyond bearing. The point has been made that Ron has hitherto been quite reticent about showing his feelings toward Hermione, but that could change--especially if he was encouraged by people who were of Flitwick's persuasion (Ron/Hermione shippers at Hogwarts, LOL). The unwanted kiss--given with the full confidence that it was "really" what Hermione wanted and that she'd be flattered by it--might be enough to shipwreck the friendship.

Count me among those who applaud the way you've drawn Minerva. Before 5th year she seems to have been involved remarkably little with her students--except in the matter of Harry's Quidditch playing and Hermione's use of the Time-Turner. The magisterial way she handled Ron and Hermione's detention, and the astringent yet kindly way she handled Hermione's distress, and finally the way she stood up to Dumbledore with her refusal to manipulate her students' personal lives for some greater good--I'd like to see her this involved, and this interesting, in canon.

As for the aftermath--better an honest hostility than keeping up the appearance of a friendship because others expect it of you. I don't think Hermione's distress--"skulking in bathrooms"--is implausible; the death of a friendship, however unsatisfying it may have become, can be as traumatic as the death of a person, and Hermione's friendship with Ron has been a constant of her life for five years. And I don't get the assumption that Ron/Hermione is being replaced with Hermione/Parvati--must every conversation signify a ship? Hermione has missed out--mostly because of her closeness to Harry and Ron--on the female friendships that can be so vivifying for women. It will do her good to have a female friend of her own age. That said, I feel for Harry--it's very difficult to be friends with two people who are no longer friends, without feeling one has to choose between them. Hermione and Ron have gone through terrible perils together, and they were notably patient, in Book V, with a good deal of bad behavior from Harry. So I'll hold on to the hope that, even if Ron were to forfeit Hermione's esteem and trust as badly as this, he'd be capable of the difficult work of earning them back.

I love the richness of your language--it's vivid, precise, atmospheric, evocative...a bit like Patricia McKillip's Riddlemaster books.

Reviewer: Jill W.Date: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51697Chapter: 2
You are certainly an excellent writer, however, I think your characterizations are way off, especially Minerva's. I just can't see her spitting in Dumbledore's eye like that.

Reviewer: LDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51676Chapter: 2
aw, that was sad...now I want to cry...

Reviewer: CalimoraDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51662Chapter: 2
Go Minerva!!!

Reviewer: Andrea13Date: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51607Chapter: 2
While this was certainly very well-written, I have to agree with other reviewers that this didn't really feel like Ron and Hermione in there, but rather two other original characters who happened to share their names and general histories. Of course, part of this may be hampered by McGonagall's viewpoint, but I honestly can't see the Ron and Hermione we saw in the first four books having these reactions. Ron can definitely be clueless, but this is usally paired with a *lack* of action towards Hermione, so I can't see him just suddenly kissing her in the middle of the common room without anything from Hermione to suggest he should. And I can't see Hermione having that sort of a reaction to a mere kiss from *any* boy, much less Ron after everything she said to him following the Yule Ball. Also, her skulking in the toilets and crying is really more remnisicent of first year Hermione than fifth.

That said, I *did* like how you handled the professors in this fic, especially McGonagall. Dumbledore's interference to reach the future he sees was very true to form, and I can just *see* Flitwick putting the two quarreling students together and chuckling merrily! McGonagall acted like a very responsible professor, with her usual blend of toughness and understanding. I thought the way she handled the students throughout their punishment was excellent.

Reviewer: lineDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51604Chapter: 2
more...

Reviewer: ElanorDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51591Chapter: 1
Well, its interesting, but not a good harry potter story. You are a good writer, but this would be more interesting with original characters, because ron and hermione are totally out of character! You could sink any ship by making up a silly story like this!
Also, if you are trying to sink the ship, you don't have any evidence from the books. Have you ever noticed how Ron hexes people who try to hurt Hermione?? Why would he hurt her by fighting with her?(psyically, mind you. JK has put too much evidence in the real books for you to be able to sink this ship, sorry :(

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51580Chapter: 2
oh my goodness. i sincerely hope that this was my mistake-- reading into something that you didn't mean to be there-- but hermione and PARVATI?? what kind of canon evidence do you have for anything of the sort? and while hermione was in character, acting as i am sure she would in reaction to unwanted advances, all canon evidence points to her WANTING ron's advances. i didn't think ron was in character here... too insensitive, too jerkish. the ron of JKR's writing may not always be the brightest bulb, but he cares enough for his friends to notice that hermione was not interested. this senario was disturbingly plausible, but i really think that hermione and ron value their friendship too much for this to happen. besides, they're so in denial and shy about everything as of OotP that i just can't envision such a violent eruption.

Reviewer: ElucrehDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51569Chapter: 2
Oh! Evil! You are an evil, evil, evil, EVIL person. That was BRILLIANT!!!

You hurt my feelings very much, you know, I'm a FIRM R/H shipper, but I am so proud of McGonagall at this moment that I could just plain BURST. She's RIGHT. You can't manipulate people's emotions just because you need them to feel a certain way, and I'm SO glad that this point has been brought out...

Even though, understand, you ARE sinking my ship and I am highly displeased w/ you--if it doesn't get fixed by the end of the fic I may not forgive you--or is this the end of the fic? It seems unlikely, but you can never tell...

Reviewer: Merilin/AnorielDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51564Chapter: 2
ouch. death of Ron/Hermione...

Reviewer: Darwin's ApprenticeDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51541Chapter: 2
Wonderfully written. The wait has been worth it! I love this spell:

"‘Vicarius,’ she said, and the doorknob turned."

I think you're development of the story moves really well. I'm interested to see where it goes.

Reviewer: lineDate: 2003-09-02
Reviewid: 50275Chapter: 1
MORE.........
WRITE MORE NOW....
please.. :)

Reviewer: ElucrehDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49384Chapter: 1
OH! Please don't tell me you're not going to finish this! It's incredible! I love the idea, you're an amazingly skilled writer--please!

Reviewer: DonDate: 2003-08-03
Reviewid: 45180Chapter: 1
I enjoyed this very much. I hope there is more brewing somewhere. The characterization of McGonagall seems true. Ron and Hermione are also well done. You have great use of imagery and I enjoyed the sprinkling of magic throughout. Great job!

Reviewer: CDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43714Chapter: 1
next chapter please? i'm so worked up on what will happen next

Reviewer: Melanie MatthewsDate: 2003-07-08
Reviewid: 40771Chapter: 1
I really enjoyed this. The language you used was very descriptive and visual yet flowed nicely as well. The plot (such as it was) was original and you kept the staff well in character - my only quibble would be that I would have liked more explanation as to Hermione and Ron's behaviour, since Hermione doesn't usually retaliate in such a destructive manner. I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes from here. Why is it so important that Ron and Hermione remain friends? I'm curious and I hope you will write more!

Reviewer: AnneDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37382Chapter: 1
Huh! What happened?! Such drama! I can't wait to learn more!

Reviewer: hermyDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37361Chapter: 1
well. that sinking ship better NOT be r/h, no way, cuz then i will be mad. maybe even flame. whoo. but plz continue!

Reviewer: StephanieDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37305Chapter: 1
I LOVE YUR STORY KEEP ON GOING!!

Reviewer: LDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37297Chapter: 1
hum...intersting...I think I like it although Ron and Hermione are being awfully quiet...although I'm sure that'll change pretty soon, hehe

Reviewer: SusanDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37295Chapter: 1
Oi! LOL! Brawling like trolls! I can't wait to find out what touched this off!

Reviewer: ScarletPhoenixDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37253Chapter: 1
I must say that this story is off to a very good start. :D This is my first time reading any of your work here but it is very good! I love the way you portray Dumbledore and McGonagall. They act just as they do in the books, so a job well done on the characterisation. I can't wait to read more!

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37245Chapter: 1
Your writing is perfect, as always! And, WOW. Ron and Hermione are a volatile pair, but I don't think I've ever seen them portrayed in such wonderfully fiesty glory before! (Poor Filch... I'm sure this is going to be an interesting detention.)

Reviewer: KizmetDate: 2003-06-17
Reviewid: 37235Chapter: 1
Well, that was an explosive start.

I thought it was pretty funny to call in Flitwick to deal with Ron.

I can't imagine where you're going with this, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

Kizmet

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