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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Business Dealings
Review(s): 15

Reviewer: queeniorekDate: 2006-06-05
Reviewid: 143239Chapter: 1
Umbridge creeps me out. So much. Sherrinford Shiftlet, on the other hand, was quite likeable. I wish he had gotten to that sandwich! I've heard your name around Sugarquill a lot, and I just realized that I hadn't actually read any of your fics, and I'm glad I finally have!

Reviewer: gavriellaDate: 2004-11-14
Reviewid: 104775Chapter: 1

Reviewer: MariagonerDate: 2004-08-11
Reviewid: 96684Chapter: 1
Chilling-- very chilling. And it only makes sense that Umbridge would be a cheap bitch as well.

Reviewer: ZaraDate: 2004-07-02
Reviewid: 90204Chapter: 1
wow I like it

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-09-19
Reviewid: 53462Chapter: 1
After Shiftlet ripped Hex's head off on LJ, I knew I had to check him out :D I honestly wasn't expecting to find anything about him to like, but I was pleasantly surprised at how he appreciates the subtleties of a good sandwich. And given the choice between him and Umbridge, I was rooting for him. It's too bad Shiftlet didn't get one up on her, but I'm taking cold comfort from the fact that I know what happened to her in the end!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-07-21
Reviewid: 43240Chapter: 1
[Shiftlet caught a strand of wayward Muenster with his finger and ate it. A rare blissful feeling came over him, and he smiled.] Great imagery here. It's a simple moment but it's a telling glimpse into the character.

Excellent "missing scene". You really captured Umbridge's obnoxiousness, especially her "bargaining" for the quill. The word toad was mentioned a bit too often in the text, but JKR did the same thing in OotP. Nice job and Shiftlet is a fascinating OC!

Reviewer: PortiaDate: 2003-07-12
Reviewid: 41547Chapter: 1
Oohh, the evil toad! Great job. I could totally see Umbitch doing this.

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2003-07-08
Reviewid: 40811Chapter: 1
I'm mourning that sandwich -- it sounds sooooo good....

Sweeney, you've really captured Umbridge in all her odious, manipulative glory. This passage here seems straight out of canon:

<<The toad said, "My name is Dolores Umbridge." She gave him what he thought was supposed to be a sweet smile. "And now you know me.">>

That woman gives me the heebie-jeebies! Eep!

I love the backstory that you've given to the quill -- it's entirely plausible, and the lead poisoning angle is not something I'd put past Dolores. Your writing is very tight and focused -- excellent!


Reviewer: meganDate: 2003-07-07
Reviewid: 40670Chapter: 1
Brilliant. Just brilliant. It was wonderful to see Shiftlet again, and as a backstory, it leaves me feeling very satisfied that it happened this way.

Reviewer: shellebelleDate: 2003-07-07
Reviewid: 40561Chapter: 1
Damn. That sandwich sounded great.

Delores was incredibly despicable, and you did a great job writing her. A great scene here!

Reviewer: LourdesDate: 2003-07-07
Reviewid: 40534Chapter: 1
Dolores Umbridge -- yak! You are very brave to write about her. She is a very disgusting witch. She and fudge face deserve each other. Well done.

Reviewer: Murasaki99Date: 2003-07-07
Reviewid: 40525Chapter: 1
Excellent forunner for OotP! Ugh, and you did Umbridge so well. Yeck! Alas that Sherriford didn't have any poisoned sandwich (or flys?) around to feed Umbridge and do the world a favor. Chilling and very well written!

Reviewer: JessBDate: 2003-07-07
Reviewid: 40485Chapter: 1
Wonderful - I've been wanting to see how people would go with Umbridge's characterisation, and you've done it really well!

Reviewer: KarieDate: 2003-07-07
Reviewid: 40452Chapter: 1
That was amazing. I can't even tell you how much I loved Shiftlet, and loathed Umbridge. Absolutely wonderful bit.

Reviewer: GramaryeDate: 2003-07-07
Reviewid: 40425Chapter: 1
::shivers:: I've said it before, but I'd swear this was canon if I didn't know better. Umbridge is her hideous, frightening, and manipulative self, right down to the 'discount' she requested. No wonder Sherrinford felt unclean afterward...I'd want to scrub my skin after being in a room with her.

And I held a moment of silence for The Sandwich. Excellent job.

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