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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 111

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-09-22
Reviewid: 145456Chapter: 5
Outstanding. I wish I had found it long ago so that this would be the second reading.

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2004-06-26
Reviewid: 89035Chapter: 5
This was so good! I don't know why I haven't read it before -- you must have been updating on days that I didn't have much reading time. :)

Really, my favorite part about this was the Quidditch. It's so rare to find really well written Quidditch, but I really followed well, and felt like I was right in the middle of it. So much of it took me right back to my days on soccer and basketball teams.

Of course, Will's adorable, too. No wondering what Abby was thinking! :D

Reviewer: LizDate: 2004-03-28
Reviewid: 76034Chapter: 5
Yay for Abby! She has to be my favorite character ever. I've always been curious about Abby and Will's relationship, so this story was perfect! There's something about your writing that just makes a story flow really well.

Great job, this was so sweet!

Liz

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2004-01-09
Reviewid: 66352Chapter: 5
[He craned his neck to see what that Ravenclaw girl in the bed across the way was reading. Something about pride…Pride of Portree, perhaps?] I love Will's one-track mind! You really capture the energy and restlessness of a teenage boy couped up in a hospital wing, unhappy at being fussed over, when there are celebrations to go to!

Love the "X-Men" reference. That was too funny!

I love how you write Poppy, especially her inability to be fooled. I also love how she left the bandage on and how [You might even thank me for it later.”] Poppy really is a smart cookie (or biscuit) isn't she?

[He deemed it prudent not to mention that Davey had actually fallen from the chandelier.] Hahahaha! I love Will's interiors! They're so hilarious and yet there's this lovely sense of innosence about him.

[Owen also once thought that if you drank a Pumpkin Fizz after consuming two Acid Pops, your head would explode.] Oh, that's too funny! Wizarding urban legands!

Oh, I loved the "lucky button" conversation. He's a smooth one, eh? I love how he's fumbling through flirting, looking for something mildly clever to say. And it's a comment a teenage boy would make and then berate himself for. I also loved the whole "casting a spell on his bum." As any teenager knows, anything involving bums is immediate cause for dying of embarassment or moving to Siberia. You really understand teenagers so well.

Loved Will's thoughts and reactions as he and Abby go off. You can practically hear his heart beating and that scene makes me remember the first boy I kissed and I really liked. That same sort of blend of terror and joy feels very real when you're reading it.

[All afternoon, he’d been trying to keep approaching objects at bay. And yet now, as their lips came together in a glorious, bumbling meeting, and Abby made a sound that sent a shiver straight through him, he knew this was one shot he was not about to block.] Sigh. So romantic. Sweet in a Godiva chocolate, not cotton candy, sort of way. This is a love story at its best. I'm now sticking my fingers in my ears and saying "Lalalalala" because I don't want to think about what the future holds for Will. That moonlit kiss is a perfect image to freeze in the reader's mind at the end. Lovely, just lovely.

Reviewer: JulesDate: 2004-01-08
Reviewid: 66257Chapter: 5
Man, I suck - I forgot to add two bits in my review XD In case you didn't understand my rambling, I found an example of one of the "thousand word sentences":

<I>Of course, Abby herself had touched his hand twice, something Owen had said was always a good sign. But then, Owen also once thought that if you drank a Pumpkin Fizz after consuming two Acid Pops, your head would explode. He probably wasn’t the best authority.</i>

I loved that, so much. :D It just gave me this instant image of what Owen's like, and even though I can't remember if he was mentioned before, I can still relate to him.

And also, I did mean to add in the end that you did a wonderful job of cheering me up!! I was feeling all miserable and wound up, but a good bit of this made me feel so much better. :)

Really going now! ;)

-Jules. xxx

Reviewer: JulesDate: 2004-01-08
Reviewid: 66256Chapter: 1
This won't be anywhere near as long or detailed as you deserve, but I can't read a story and not review; it's just not in me. XD So, here we go!

At the moment I'm ill with The Cold From Hell, so naturally I thought I'd go in search of some fluffy fanfiction to go cheer me up. I realised I hadn't checked for any updates in this story for ages, and to my delight found I'd missed one! So I got reading, and as usual, was sucked in like... dust up a vacuum cleaner? XD Man, I'm ill, is my excuse. ;)

But still; wonderful job as always! The thing that I always love about your stories is your writing style, and how you always make things so familiar. There's always just a little line stuck in places which just tell you much more than you can expect. I can't explain it... just that sometimes, half a sentence can tell you far more about a character than an entire paragraph?? And you use a lot of those sentences, and they really just make everything so familiar and comfortable. I don't know how well I'm explaining this, but... well, it's a compliment, so I'd just take it and run. ;)

Although I was horrified when I saw the "THE END" at the bottom of my screen (I'm still hoping it's a sick joke :P), I can [grudgingly] see your reasoning. At least they'll be left Forever Happy, eh? ;) Unless you read Interwoven, then I guess it goes to pot a bit. But anyway, just because THIS story is finished, doesn't mean there can't be any Will/Abby ficlets, maybe? *hopeful*

Anyways. I apologise if I'm rambling or making really lame jokes here, but I really can't think straight at all at the moment. Colds suuuuck. But wonderful job - sorry to see the story end, but I'll be hanging on for any more stories you choose to write =)

*hugs*!! Awesome job!

-Jules. xxx

Reviewer: Katinka's response to girlyqDate: 2004-01-08
Reviewid: 66246Chapter: 5
You didn't leave an email address, so I hope you catch this here! :) Thank you for your enthusiasm for this story -- I really enjoyed writing it, and so it's gratifying to know that you enjoyed reading it.

I do realize that the end seems a bit abbreviated, but when I considered what the final chapter would be like if I took it to the end of their school year, I knew I'd never be able to write it. Too depressing. :( I'm still smarting from the loss of Sirius, and I don't have it in me to write something so sad. I decided it was best to just leave Will in this happy moment.

Well, I don't know if that explanation helped at all, but I thank you again for your kind comments. :)

Best,

Katinka

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2004-01-04
Reviewid: 65838Chapter: 5
That was absolutely wonderful, Katinka!! Will is a great character. His insecurity is charmingly real and perfectly balanced with his Hufflepuff pride. Will & Abby make a perfect couple. I think this is my favorite line:

"It felt like Keeping blindfolded."

That is a marvelous line because we've probably all experienced that feeling and it says a lot in just a few words.

Reviewer: AlchemillaDate: 2004-01-03
Reviewid: 65653Chapter: 5
Man oh man- I am so sad to see this end, as I have really fallen for Will, and could just gobble up more and more of his inner monologues and observations. But... I don't want to see him die, so I will content myself by rereading the chapter again and soaking up that sweet, marvelous ending.

Will is a character you could successfully transfer to original fiction (outside the HP fandom), to the real world or some other original universe of your creation. He has such a strong appeal, on the level of Harry (even without the instant sympathy an orphan gets).

You really know how to capture the nervous, sweet and terrifying complexity of emotions that teenagers experience with their first close encounters with opposite sex. It is painful, lovely and instantly recognizable.

And I must comment on the writing, of course: this chapter, like all your others, is full of great lines that roll off the tongue beautifully or conjure up an image or an emotion with perfection.

Well done, Katinka, and I look forward to your next project, your next character with anticipation. And Happy New Year as well.

--alchemilla

Reviewer: KizmetDate: 2004-01-03
Reviewid: 65627Chapter: 5
This is why I don't read WIP anymore.

Waiting for the finish would have killed me.

"But he hesitated, and to his deep dismay, Abby stirred from her spot. Well, now he knew why he wasn’t in Gryffindor."

Great - wonderful - perfect.

You were right to end it here.

Kizmet

Reviewer: KateDate: 2004-01-02
Reviewid: 65534Chapter: 5
I loved this story! This is the first time I've reviewed, and I'm ashamed I didn't do it earlier. I have to admit...I think I have a little crush on Will. He's the first fanfic character I've ever said that about. He just seems so...human. I loved the ending, I think it is perfect!

As another former BYUer I was thrilled and delighted beyond comprehension at the Hufflepuff's fight song...of course I've started humming it and I can't stop smiling.

I've really liked all of your stories...I'd even go as far as to say that you're one of my favorite fanfic authors here at the SQ.

I can't wait to see what you have next in store for us.

Reviewer: girlyqDate: 2004-01-01
Reviewid: 65441Chapter: 5
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You cannot, CANNOT, end here!!!!!!!! You have ta have ta have ta have ta HAVE TO tell it all the way to the end!! I know it would be sad and all, and it would be a lot of writing and all, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEASE do it all the way to the end!!! You're one of my favorite authors on Sugarquill, and this is one of the stories I always look for updates. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep going, I love Abbey and her story!!! Oh please, I'd give you like a billion gallons of butterbeer and all my chocolate frog cards!! I would be eternally grateful!!! *puppy dog eyes* (which I am especially good at) pleeease??? I look very pitiful at this moment. I'm good at looking pitiful! One last time. PLEEEASE!!!

Reviewer: The Good Doctor MonacoDate: 2004-01-01
Reviewid: 65384Chapter: 5
Absolutely wonderful ending!!

Will's insecurity is priceless-- makes everything seem more... I dunno... realistic, I guess. Same goes for his little obsession with Quidditch. :-)

As always, the story flowed very well, with humor in all the right places (was that Ravenclaw reading Pride and Prejudice? LOL!).

I must say that I'm conflicted with the story ending here-- one one hand, it feels like a sort of cliffhanger. On the other hand.... *sigh* the end is already known. :-(

As a whole, this was a great story. Not too serious, not too fluffy, not overly cute and not overly tragic. Wonderful job.

Until next story,

~Dr. Monaco~

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2004-01-01
Reviewid: 65380Chapter: 5
The true achievement of this chapter was your ability to get the emotions and actions of kids this age, from Will's insecurity, to Abby's daring act, to the aggressive fangirls who wanted to get Will away from Abby. I can remember situations like this well. You also managed to throw in some cute things like Stubby Boardman, substituting antifungal cream for toothpaste, and having Will think about Quidditch during the kiss.

I've enjoyed the sweetness and the humor in every chapter of this story. Thanks, not only for letting us borrow Abby, but for writing more of her.

Reviewer: Incurable RomanticDate: 2003-12-31
Reviewid: 65355Chapter: 5
Awwwwwwww.... cute.

Reviewer: Melissa ReneeDate: 2003-12-31
Reviewid: 65334Chapter: 5
Bravi.

As a BYU grad I loved "Rise and Shout the Badgers are Out." Though Madam Pomphrey really does seem to have the Hufflepuff's number even if she thinks that Davy fell off a table rather than the chandelier.

I also liked how realistically insecure Will was. Just a fifteen year-old boy, not a minature Casanova.

All in all it was a fun read. Good Job.

Reviewer: Kate LynnDate: 2003-12-31
Reviewid: 65255Chapter: 5
I LOVED reading Will's story. This, as all your writing, is simply brilliant. Funny, charming, catching, deep and true to life. You are a wonderful storyteller, and this tale of love was perfect. I adored it, thanks so much. By far the best thing I read over break. Heck, you are one of the best writers, one of my favorites, period. 8-)

Kate Lynn

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-12-31
Reviewid: 65251Chapter: 5
Yay! Well, I'm sorry that the story is over, but I can understand your reasons for ending things there :) and it was a lovely ending. The clueless boy/Quidditch parallels were great! I think one reason why guys prefer sports to women is because sports are so delightfully uncomplicated. Or at least it's easier to understand them, even though football still confuses me :-p

I liked the descriptions of the Hufflepuff party, including Madam Pomfrey's reminiscing. We really ought to start a treasury of Hufflepuff House/fight songs!

Reviewer: QueenieDate: 2003-12-30
Reviewid: 65228Chapter: 5
Waitwaitwaitwaitwait... The END? As in the end of the STORY? But it's just getting good...
Sorry, rambling. Aw! It's over so fast! Oh well. I guess that's that. This last chapter isn't a disappointment. It's still got the humor, the control of language, and the sweet mushyness which is your trademark, Katinka.
Looking forward to more,
~Queenie
P.S. I'll have a mint chocolate chip milkshake, please. :-)

Reviewer: DonDate: 2003-12-30
Reviewid: 65214Chapter: 5
Very sweet! I love stories about first love. There is so much excitement and terror wrapped up in one moment. And this moment is very well done. I think I agree with you about stopping here. Emotionally, I think I would be a wreck if you took it to the finish. I guess I will never be able to write a great piece of literature! I am not sure that I could ever be ruthless enough to axe of someone I love.

My favorite part of this story is that it is nice to know that Will was worth Abby's attention.

Favorite lines:
>>He deemed it prudent not to mention that Davey had actually fallen from the chandelier.<<
And,
>>Of course, Abby herself had touched his hand twice, something Owen had said was always a good sign. But then, Owen also once thought that if you drank a Pumpkin Fizz after consuming two Acid Pops, your head would explode. He probably wasn’t the best authority.<<

Such nice work!

Reviewer: EllaDate: 2003-12-30
Reviewid: 65171Chapter: 5
You did it! A very nondepressing story that I now love, despite feeling conflicted over Sirius. (sob) I love the ending. I hope you write more of something... anything... soon. Now off to enjoy my Ice Micecream, made with real Honeydukes Ice Mice, courtesy Florian Fortescue’s. Ahh, reviewing does have its rewards.

~Ella

Reviewer: shellebelleDate: 2003-12-30
Reviewid: 65166Chapter: 5
*sigh* That was lovely, Katinka! Will is definitely swoon-worthy and I do like the younger Abby in this. She is so sweet and crafty at the same time. Great job!

Reviewer: GwendolynDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65147Chapter: 5
Awww! It's so cute! I loved part about "Rise and Shout, the Badgers Are Out." It reminded me of my first and only BYU football game. I also enjoyed Wahlee's cameo. Thanks for creating such wonderful OC's that aspiring fan-fic writers (like me) can look to for guidance.

Reviewer: LilacDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65126Chapter: 5
I thought I'd officially do one here as well, although I'll be the 88th reviewer, not the 87th. I was too slow!

Thanks for writing this backstory. Will deserved having his story told, and especially to have a happy ending.

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65122Chapter: 5
Love it! Love it love it love it! :D

Hooray for the Hufflepuff fight song. :D And for that Ravenclaw reading Pride and Prejudice. :D

(I'm the 87th reviewer!)

Reviewer: AeternaDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65118Chapter: 5
Well, I'm never one to pass up on a trip to Florean Fortescue's, so I suppose I'll review. Very cute ending to a very cute story, I have to say. I would really like to see more Abby stories, as I love her character. It's too bad she doesn't have her Snuffles anymore :(

Much love,
'Terna

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65102Chapter: 5
I really enjoyed this chapter, especially the ending. You've done a really nice job making Will into a believable, viable character, and I've really appreciated reading about his and Abby's romance.

Nice work, Katie!

Catherine

Reviewer: belitaDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65074Chapter: 5
What a perfect ending!
This last chapter has done wonders in lifting my spirits today!

Now excuse me while I go and swoon over Will.
: )

Reviewer: EllaDate: 2003-12-26
Reviewid: 64875Chapter: 3
Wow! You've done it once again. I must admit, I held off reading this for a while, mostly because A)I was worried it would be too depressing knowing how it ends up and B)I didn't want to feel conflicted over both Sirius and Will as love interests for Abby. However, I'm very glad I finally started reading, because after the first few paragraphs I was defiantly hooked. You've managed to take what could have been incredibly depressing and made it fun and clever. I especially love all the little details you added, most of all the Drew Hardy books. Very clever use of Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys in there. Plus, can't we all see a bit of our own obsession in those books... you defiantly captured that brilliantly! It's just too bad Will wouldn't have been much of a Harry Potter fan. :( The only problem I see is that now you might be forced to write excerpts from the Drew Hardy books... te he he, that could be fun though! I hope you were telling the truth when you told me that you're almost done with the next chapter, I eagerly await it.

~Ella
PS sorry for the novel, but I couldn't resist

Reviewer: DonDate: 2003-11-26
Reviewid: 60827Chapter: 4
Great work! And yes, you did owe that to Will! He would be very embarassed to know that you were displaying his emotions for all of us to see. ;) So he should at least get to be the sports hero.

It is interesting that I think the emotions are intensified knowing the future to this "back story". I don't want to call it a back story because it stands so well on its own.

Favorite lines:
>>#1 – Keep your eye on the Quaffle.

Will unclenched his fingers from his Comet, where they’d been growing numb. Yeah, he thought with a breath of relief, he could manage that. Same for the next:

#2 – No, really – keep your eye on the Quaffle. Can’t say it enough.

And I love the Hufflepuff interhouse support with the names!

Great work!

Reviewer: The Good Doctor MonacoDate: 2003-11-19
Reviewid: 60541Chapter: 4
Loved this chapter!!

The Quidditch tactics were cheer-worthy, to say the least! O'Hares Seven Secrets were a nice touch-- my favorite is #2. :-)

Until next update,

~Dr. Monaco~

Reviewer: alchemillaDate: 2003-11-18
Reviewid: 60531Chapter: 4
Katinka- did you know you could be a career sports writer? There've been many a fanfic Quidditch game described and most make my eyes glaze over. That was brilliant.

This brief address of coach to player is so perfectly male (when he looks away, scans the crowd)and so believeable of a coach and newbie, the right mix of support and gruffness. And all conveyed with brevity. Superb!
>Kane turned his head away. His eyes skimmed across the pitch as he spoke in harsh, yet measured tones. “No more of that, Lowby, you hear?”

St Boffo's! Hilarious name

>Will realized that he must appear quite at place in their midst – his face stung something fierce<
Ah, that moment where you truly belong, when you can stoicly show your own battle scars.

>consigned to a life of whispered taunts and disappointed sighs as he walked the halls of Hogwarts.
I just like that line. It's a Quidditch obsessed school, and although it's truly only a certain percentage that would sigh at remembered humiliations on the pitch, Will is obsessed enough himself to think that EVERYone would think of it EVERY time they saw him. Self-imposed pressure.

>A baffled giggle kept slipping out of his mouth
Another line I like. We've all felt that rare moment -- giddy with triumph, giggles escaping.

I was eagerly anticipating Abby's appearance (wasn't every reader?) and you stretched it right to the end, you tease. Their gazes locked for glorious seconds. Marvelous.

--alchemilla

Reviewer: Three Sickles ShortDate: 2003-11-18
Reviewid: 60477Chapter: 4
"He certainly wasn’t going to look up and see if Davey and Owen and *other people* were watching him;" gee, Will, and who might those *other people* be? ;-)

"The Seven Secrets of Highly Effective Keepers"--brilliant!

"In an instant, Will remembered with perfect clarity why he wouldn’t trade his position for anything else, not even for the satisfaction of slamming heavy, dangerous, metal objects at other people." For a teenage boy, giving up the chance to slam heavy, dangerous metal objects around is a sign of deep commitment.

I don't *care* if it teems with cliche; I love this chapter. Will is such a sweetie, and the glimpses into Keeper psychology were super.

TSS

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-11-18
Reviewid: 60451Chapter: 4
Never one to allow a moment of nepotism to slip by, I thank you mightily for including Robbie in your piece.

I think, in spite of your misgivings, that your Quidditch flows very well. I enjoyed the interspersion of the Quidditch rules, and the solid introspection that Will undergoes as he reflects on his oh! so important Quidditch position.

Abby's acknowledgement of his heroic triumph is an adolescent boy's dream come true. Thanks, Katy, for a good piece.

Catherine

Reviewer: A.L. de SauveterreDate: 2003-11-17
Reviewid: 60396Chapter: 4
You did it!! What a fantastic Quidditch match! Will's inner thoughts are such a treat to read, especially as he flits from apprehension to hopefulness to weariness to confusion and to jubilance. I especially love how you ease the reader into it with Darren O'Hare's words of wisdom. Hee! And you bring such wit and humour to the screen, it's impossible not to love your characters because they're so human and likeable! :)

>>#1 – Keep your eye on the Quaffle.

Will unclenched his fingers from his Comet, where they’d been growing numb. Yeah, he thought with a breath of relief, he could manage that. Same for the next:

#2 – No, really – keep your eye on the Quaffle. Can’t say it enough.>>

Heheheh. I can't get enough of your writing, Katinka. THought you ought to know. :D

That final Hufflepuff play was wonderful, original, well-conceived and well-told! I was on the edge of my seat the entire time!

Hurray for Hufflepuff!! (and the fact that Will was knocked cold from his teammate's congratulatory clap on the back is such a funny, fabulous ending for this chapter)

Wonderful wonderful stuff! :D

Axelle

Reviewer: AlkariDate: 2003-11-17
Reviewid: 60373Chapter: 4
Seems those action sequences managed to work themselves out just fine!!

I just love your Will, with his amazing mix of teenage insecurities, nerves, bravado and determination.

"He even went a full five paces before he remembered to bring his Comet 220 with him." Oh yes!! What a classic picture of pre-match nerves!

His interiors are a delight, with his droll sense of humour managing to take the edge of even the most desperate situation:-
"This was like giving Fizzing Whizbees to a Porlock &#8211; something interesting was bound to happen"

"An inner voice whispered that he'd be the biggest prat on earth if he were wrong, not to mention dead, if his legs couldn't keep their upside-down hold on the broom." LOL!

"He blessed the names of Darren O&#8217;Hare, Madam Hambeck, and the makers of his Comet 220. He would remember this day for the rest of his life." That's our Will!!

"She was leaning against a railing, as though she'd just run down the steps to it, and her mouth was open in a wide, joyous smile. Will raised his uninjured hand in greeting, and his heart skipped a beat when Abby Loomis returned the gesture, her smile stretching out even more." A delightful chapter, as always. Now, all he needs is his 'reward' (wink, wink)

Alkari

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-11-17
Reviewid: 60361Chapter: 4
This was SO not loaded with cliché, dear. Hufflepuff does not win enough games in fandom for it to be cliché :D

Anyhoo, this was great. You did a great job telling the story from Will's POV, and interspersing bits from the commentator and crowd reactions, too. I am so glad they beat the Slytherins but came away with some lovely parting gifts, i.e., battle scars -- very KEWL. I should beat up my Quidditch players more, but it seems from canon that Hogwarts Quidditch has watered down significantly since Will's time <_<

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-11-16
Reviewid: 60296Chapter: 4
[He even went a full five paces before he remembered to bring his Comet 220 with him.] Hehe, nice touch there!

Robbie's confidence and reassurance of Will was great. You've really captured that nervousness teenagers have when they're about to do something like start in a sport for the first time. This really adds a new layer to Will's character. He's a sweet, handsome guy who has every reason to be popular and confident and yet underneath it all he shows the same self-doubts as any other kid. Well done.

I love the snippets of the Darren O'Hare book interspersed throughout Will's mental preparations (the "then for his much publicized romances with heiresses, socialites, and one Admiral’s daughter" made me LOL! Love the Rosmerta reference!) The snippets are very funny in that dry, British way. Loved them, especially #5 and #7.

Will's interiors are so wonderful. You really capture this sense of purity about him in his love for the game, especially in this line: "He loved the decisiveness of Keeping, the simplicity of it all – in a matter of seconds, ten points were either gained or denied. Those moments always distilled down to just him, the Chaser, and the Quaffle,"

[He wouldn’t have been surprised if Darren O’Hare himself had Apparated right then and there, to take action before he could disgrace the position any further:] Poor Will! You've written a very authentic, action packed Quidditch scene that still captures the thoughts and emotions of the main character without distracting from the action.

[St. Boffo’s School for Magical Misfits and Wayward Wizards] OMG!! I love that! So funny!

Very creative ending to the game! I love how ALL the team members got to contribute to the win and be heroic instead of just Will.

[He would remember this day for the rest of his life.] Oh, that line is so incredibly sad. We the readers know what's going to happen to poor Will, but right now you can see his youthfulness and all that hope and possibility in him.

Looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe a certain seamstress will congratulate Will? ;) Excellent chapter.

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2003-11-16
Reviewid: 60245Chapter: 4
You have so many emotional nuances going on here. I can relate to Will coming out in front of a big crowd and being very scared. Robbie helps him summon the courage he needs. You hit the nail on the head when you characterized the encouragement that Robbie gave Will as a ray of sunshine just hitting you on the head.

I also liked your Stephen Covey reference. The idea of using the book to show us how Will is focusing his thoughts was great. I had to laugh at O'Hare's romances. Was Rosmerta in that crowd??

I don't know, it almost seems as if you've played this sport before yourself! You really got to know the position he was playing and did a great job of understanding the mistakes that could be made by losing concentration or getting rattled somehow. You really succeeded in making this chapter exciting and the extra boost of reading his thoughts makes it very personal. I felt the movement and his reactions.

I told you in the group that the ending reminded me of The Natural. You know when Robert Redford knocks the cover off the baseball and he looks into the crowd to see his love interest. She's standing in the sun and the lighting is behind her so she stands out. That's what I thought of when Will saw Abby.

Who can't be happy when the underdog wins! Go, Huffs!

Reviewer: Kate LynnDate: 2003-11-16
Reviewid: 60186Chapter: 4
I didn't mind Will's moment of glory at all. I think it was nicely done, and the Hufflepuff ethics were grounded and very appropriate. The flow and pace were as great as ever in the writing. I love Will's character; I admire your ability to write dimensional OCs. Another great chapter, I love this story. Thanks for it. 8-)

-Kate Lynn

Reviewer: Lila Ackermum ;)Date: 2003-11-16
Reviewid: 60174Chapter: 1
<<“How do girls ever get so worked up over a fictional bloke?” he groaned.

Davey shrugged. “My mum says it’s easier than you’d think.”>>>

LOL! Of course, Gladys and her dear Lockhart! I know this is from another chapter, but I wanted to mention that here, as I'm re-reading this wonderful fic!

Even though you stressed about writing this Quidditch scene, you did an excellent job. You probably grew as a writer through that whole experience, stretching yourself out of your comfort zone. :) Not that you needed growing as a writer, but "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger", correct? ;)

And thanks again for the Lila Ackermum mention -- very clever! I didn't realize Aristotle Kane=Ara Kane! Even more clever!

Reviewer: QueenieDate: 2003-11-15
Reviewid: 60110Chapter: 4
Yaay! Hooray for Hufflepuff!
Loved this chapter. Especially Darren O'Hare's lessons of life -- very much fun, and I love the cliches. :-) ~Q
P.S. In moderation, of course.

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2003-11-15
Reviewid: 60098Chapter: 4
"In an instant, Will remembered with perfect clarity why he wouldn’t trade his position for anything else, not even for the satisfaction of slamming heavy, dangerous, metal objects at other people."

I love that line.

Will's moments of glory were well-deserved, if extremely painful. Poor Quidditch players... they certainly do get beat up.

Your look inside the Keeper's mind was convincing, realistic and humorous too. It's a stressful position and you've captured that perfectly.

Your depiction of the crafty Slytherin tactics were brilliant as well. Their use of the commentator and the crowd to distract Will were legal and effective. Poor Will.

The moment between Will and Abby was quite lovely... too bad it was so painfully interrupted!

Reviewer: ElfirDate: 2003-11-15
Reviewid: 60057Chapter: 4
First interesting quidditch match I've ever seen. Including cannon. Congrats!

Reviewer: belitaDate: 2003-11-15
Reviewid: 60050Chapter: 4
Oh joy! Oh bliss!
Hooray for Will!

I found the Quiddich match to be quite exciting!
But I loved this chapter most for the parts where I found myself chuckling out loud at the computer screen (I have many, but here are the highlights)...

>Seven Secrets of Hightly Effective Keepers
#1 Keep your eye on the Quaffle
#2 No, really - Keep your eye on the Quaffle. Can't say it enough
#4 A keeper who fears death should reconsider his choice of sport - muggle croquet might be more to his liking.

>William Manfred Lowby!!! : D

>St. Boffo's School for Magical Misfits and Wayward Wizards

Honestly, woman. How do you do it? I am in awe of your humor and your writing.

And a big 'ole *awwww* to Abby and Will's special moment.
: )

Reviewer: shellebelleDate: 2003-11-15
Reviewid: 60048Chapter: 4
Great chapter, and a great Quidditch match! Go Will!

Reviewer: PortiaDate: 2003-11-14
Reviewid: 60013Chapter: 4
Awww--you write Quidditch beautifully! And so amusingly, too! I love Will's troubles, and then his Ronnish triumph. It might be a familiar story but you write it so well. I especially like the Hufflepuff reaction--"We're only 160 points behind!" LOL.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-10-09
Reviewid: 55920Chapter: 3
Arg! I didn't know you posted this already! I held off reviewing in workshop because I wanted to read it here!

Will's reaction to Abby alone was great! Just the right mixture of awkwardness and anxiety and hopefullness!

[Or before she left for dinner and some smarmy Gryffindor made a move on her.] *snert* Oh no, now who could that possibly be? Hehe! I love all the inside jokes in your writing!

[Why were there no scissors? Who had taken the blasted scissors? There probably had never actually been scissors in the room, he realized grudgingly, but there should have been, and that had to be someone’s bloody fault.] Great blend of anxiety and humor. This has a very classic comedy feel to it.

Love the book Abby's reading! [while she read one of the three greatest books known to Wizard-kind] A little known path to a man's heart is to recite sports' statistics! And you phrase it just like a teenage boy would!

[He didn’t need spectators, and any other male was still unwelcome competition at this point. Cheeky, presumptuous little buggers.] Hahahaha! Will's reactions to Abby possibly running away were hilarious!

[She looked as though a violent coup d’etat were being staged within her stomach, and the rebel faction was winning.] Great description! I also love the Hufflepuff rallying. Aristotle is more than a match for Oliver Wood!

[Aristotle played once last year with dragon pox, a sore throat, and two ingrown toenails. I’m never going to get in a match.] *snert* The last part about the two ingrown toenails is what makes this so funny! I love your humor! It's always witty and funny and edged in sweetness. I had a grin on my face the entire time I was reading this.

Great cliffhanger and I'm so looking forward to seeing you write the Quidditch match!

Reviewer: The Good Doctor MonacoDate: 2003-10-06
Reviewid: 55641Chapter: 3
Great chapter, Katinka!! Sorry it took me so long to post a review....

Loved the bit about pulling the button off! Of course the durn button won't fall off when you want it to, LOL....

Yay! Will finally gets to play! Ihope he does well. :-)

Until next chapter,

~Dr. Monaco~

Reviewer: JenniferDate: 2003-10-05
Reviewid: 55488Chapter: 3
Nice. I liked how you balanced the fluff with Quidditch. It adds a story in addition to the whole Abby/Will plotline. I also found it interesting to see the "Abby could you sew my clothes?" scene from Will's point of view. If I remember correctly, Abby remembered Will to be much more confident than Will really is. But anyway, great to see an update! ^_^

~Jennifer
P.S. Will definitely does not sound like Sirius. :)

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2003-10-03
Reviewid: 55331Chapter: 3
My son is very shy and won't even talk to a girl, so I loved this chapter because it seemed very real to me that a boy of Will's age would not be smooth and flirty, but very hesitant.

I also loved the locker room speech. That "we have nothing to lose" attitude means that they probably will win. I'm getting excited to see the actual match. Poor Will, though. I'm crossing my fingers for him.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'll give it a shot. I love the way you get inside a character's head and really let us know who they are. You don't miss any details either. Will is real boy and you can see it in his focus on sports. I really missed your writing for that reason. I feel like we all own a piece of Will now, just like we do Abby.

Reviewer: JulesDate: 2003-10-02
Reviewid: 55188Chapter: 3
Yay, update!! :D

Awesome stuff, buddy!! I love the point of view that this is written by - the way that we get to see Will's feelings towards Abby (which are so cute and positively hilarious ;)), and also the outsider's point of view, with him not noticing about the chocolate frogs and stuff. :D

I am really enjoying this story so far, because the characters are all so human. I love them to bits, which definitely makes me want to read more. :D

Hoping for an update soon! ^^

-Jules. xxx

Reviewer: Newbia the ElfDate: 2003-10-02
Reviewid: 55054Chapter: 3
Yay, another chapter at last. Very funny, though you are pushing the fact Will is a teenage boy a bit hard.

Reviewer: RilinaDate: 2003-10-01
Reviewid: 55008Chapter: 3
>>Blast, there was probably a queue of flower-toting, poetry-reading tossers downstairs right now, just waiting to steal her away.<<
Hee. It's always amusing when Will's inner monologue parts with his common sense like this. You have a deft touch with this type of humor--it could easily be over the top, but it isn't.

>>A breath of relief rushed out. She had only been joking – brilliant! Brilliant!<<
:) I've said this in previous reviews, but I love the subtle ways that you show the readers that Abby really knows exactly what she's doing at times to poor Will.

Will continues to be a wonderful OC--sometimes your average adolescent, at other times simultaneously boyish and mature. That's really a lovely thing.

Looking forward as always to reading more when it's available!

Reviewer: DonDate: 2003-10-01
Reviewid: 55007Chapter: 3
Great job! The first chapter is so real! That finish where he realizes she's wearing a watch is priceless. The whole thing hangs together so well, as usual for you. In this chapter, i love the detail.. Like this line:

"She stood up and, after untangling her feet from the hem of her robes ... ".

That kind of detail lets me see the action so clearly. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: PelirrojaDate: 2003-10-01
Reviewid: 54992Chapter: 3
I have only recently found the wonders of Abby Loomis, fast becoming my favorite OC, from a recommendation by The Good Doctor Monaco. I love the depth and layers of your backstory. What a pleasure!

Reviewer: BelitaDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54960Chapter: 3
Happy, happy, joy, joy! Happy, happy, joy, joy!
Hooray! Katinka posted another chapter!

Since I'm a compulsive update checker, I just couldn't help myself from turning into a delinquent and reading your latest chapter while I was at work. Thank you for brightening what would have been an otherwise dreary day at work!

I love Will more and more with each paragraph. (Yes, I said each paragraph!)

Poor Will wrestling with that stubborn button!
Trying to rush around and find the scissors...

<<before she left for dinner and some smarmy Gryffindor made a move on her>>

bwa ha ha!
and poor Paranoid Will...

<<Blast, there was probably a queue of flower-toting, poetry-reading tossers downstairs right now, just waiting to steal her away>>

tee hee hee!

<<She looked much like his pet Crup once had after doing a series of back flips on a stomachful of really bad eggs>>
yo, ho. yo, ho. a pirate's life for me!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of pirates after reading this line!

I'm super excited to see Will play Quiddich!

~belita
eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
: D

Reviewer: Silver PatronusDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54958Chapter: 3
Brilliant, as ever. I really enjoyed Arisotle Kane's (Ara Kane? :P) speech. Everyone seems to overlook them or don't see them posing any sort of threat. It was intersting to see what th Hufflepuffs think of that. Go team go!

Beth Attenberg? Beth and Atty? Wild guess. :P

Excellent writing!

Reviewer: Kate LynnDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54946Chapter: 3
Oh, another wonderful chapter! Will truly is an amazing OC. I loved his interaction with Abby here. Your writing style is wonderful, drawing me right in. I can't wait to see what happens next!

-Kate Lynn

Reviewer: Fluffy_RoseDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54911Chapter: 3
*does the "I'm so happy Katinka has finally updated" dance*

WooHoo! Another chapter!

I was looking forward to the scene where Will went to ask Abby to sew on his button for him, and here it is! Just as wonderful as the other two chapters, and with the added bonus of a cliffhanger!

Oooo, you know how to make us beg...

Wonderful work!

Fluffy_Rose

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54877Chapter: 3
You get so perfectly inside Will's POV. I like the details and the interiors.

The action, pacing, and dialogue are masterful as well. It's always worth the wait for your chapters.

Catherine

Reviewer: LilacDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54851Chapter: 3
Oh, Katinka! I'm in love with Will. I will do a better review later when I'm more coherent, but so many lovely things in this chapter. You funny, girl!

Reviewer: QueenieDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54827Chapter: 3
Wow. I can't wait 'till the next chapter! "She doesn't get nervous." Aristotle Kane's a great captain!
I'm loving the interactions between Will and Abby. Hufflepuff Turret's right there...
Great job. :-)
~Q

Reviewer: WahleeDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54825Chapter: 3
<i>She looked much like his pet Crup once had after doing a series of back flips on a stomachful of really bad eggs.</i>

Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

Hee.

Great installment. As usual, you brilliant Katinka, you. :P

Reviewer: ElfirDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54822Chapter: 3
*squeal* I love Will and Abby! This is the cutest story EVER! ^_____^

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-09-30
Reviewid: 54820Chapter: 3
Hurray for the update! Will's ploy to get to talk to Abby was so sweet :) I'm glad it worked.

And hurray for Aristotle Kane! Would you believe that today I *just happened* to have a copy of "The Pocket Aristotle" in my bag? :-p His pep talk was great, and Will's sudden promotion was great, too. (LOL Maggie the Manticore Keeper who eats haggis for good luck! The description of her, er, regurgitation was clever.)

Can't wait to read the outcome of the match! (No hurry, tho!)

Reviewer: Narcissa MalfoyDate: 2003-09-28
Reviewid: 54660Chapter: 2
I don't know how I can laugh and enjoy this story, knowing what I know about the the future. I must have taken Horace's advice to heart. "Carpe Diem" "Seize the Day!" The 'present' isn't any less delightful for the future, or more properly, the Potterverse's past.

Will is just delightful. He's a young teenage boy, so unknowing of the ways of the world, and so sweet, but not unbelievable in his boyish fancy for a lovely girl in a lovely nightgown.

NM

Reviewer: RilinaDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51542Chapter: 2
I'm continuing my virtuous resolution to catch up on my reviewing! So thoughts on Chapter 2:

>>He punctuated the comment with another attempt at a cosmopolitan air. "A brick wall would know what you mean, Decker,” Davey Gudgeon retorted from Will’s right.<<
You do a great job at capturing the dynamics of a group of adolescent boys--generally friendly, but full of teasing banter.

>>Will flicked a carrot at him. “Pity you’re still four inches shorter than Judy Applegate.” Another carrot went soaring. “But maybe she won’t mind stooping to talk to you.” He ducked as Davey propelled a spoonful of peas toward him.<<
And Will gives as good as he gets. That's reassuring to see--and makes him that much better matched with Abby.

>> They probably would tease Patrick now, and him, too – everyone at Hogwarts knew about Drew Hardy, a teenaged git with cobalt blue eyes and perfectly coiffed hair, who solved wizarding mysteries through a combination of wandless magic, innate charm, and fluency in Gobbledegook, Parseltongue, and Mandarin Chinese. <<
Heh. Drew Hardy, Gary Stu?

>>“It means she bilked you out of a dozen chocolate frogs, Decker,” Davey crowed, looking quite happy.<<
Sneaky Abby again! (It's only a short step to throwing raisins...) This conversation is a wonderful way of characterizing Abby.

What strikes me most about your writing, especially in these two chapters, is how seamlessly you incorporate characterization and necessary backstory into the main, light-hearted narrative. Sometimes when I'm reading fanfic, I come across scenes that are too obviously mean to show Character A has trait X, etc. You accomplish that in a much more subtle manner, and that makes the reader's experience that much better.

Again, looking forward to seeing more of this whenever it's ready. Keep up the great work!

Rilina

Reviewer: RilinaDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51540Chapter: 1
Yay! More adventures in the Abbyverse. It's always a pleasure to read your distinctive authorial voice.

>>Some carved confessions of love, and the logo of the Caerphilly Catapults, here in the middle. Someone knew his or her Quidditch– Caerphilly was having their best season in six years. <<
I love how you use this little detail as more than background flourish, as a route into Will's Quidditch obsession. It's a very subtle shift, but not every writer would have pulled it off so well.

>>Chance and the alphabet had placed Abby Loomis near him countless times over the past four years. <<
My memories of "Interwoven" are a bit sketchy at the moment--did you refer to this bit in that fic? If not, did you just come up with it, or was it always background? If so, very clever.

>>A gleam of silver caught Will’s eye; he only had a second to mark it, but what he saw was unmistakable. On her wrist was a perfectly functional wristwatch – moving hands, correct time and all.<<
Sneaky Abby. And cookies to Will for noticing.

In this short chapter, you've made Will into a very likable fellow, someone who might very well be worth of being Abby Loomis's first love. (And that's high praise, considering how much I adore Abby as an OFC.) Looking forward to reading more as it becomes available.

Rilina

Reviewer: Waywren TruesongDate: 2003-08-17
Reviewid: 47513Chapter: 2
Eee! So cute!

It's nice to know that Will Lowby was a nice boy...
Worthy of being a first love to Our Abby. ^^
Makes me feel better about the whole thing, somehow.

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2003-08-03
Reviewid: 45247Chapter: 2
You don't know how funny it is for me to read dialogue from boys a couple of years older than my son. The talk around the table reminded me of my son's birthday party a year ago. The talk then was about which girl liked which boy and what she looked like, in between discussing Gameboy, sports, and Lord of the Rings.

You have a real knack for understanding teenage boys. Good thing, since you'll have one someday! ;) Anyway, I love your characterization of Will, who is sweet and innocent. His fantasy of Abby in her nightdress is darling.

You had a lot of fun touches in this--including Drew Hardy and the puzzlement over why women get into fictional characters. :D I was also amused by the boys using magic to much out stalls. I would too if I had to do that job!

I liked the fact that Abby was klutzy and amused by it all. I was glad she wasn't embarrassed by spilling the food on herself. I was also glad to see her use her sewing abilities to her advantage. Go Abby!

This is a delightful story. I feel sad knowing what the future will bring, but like life, we should live in the moment.

Reviewer: meDate: 2003-08-01
Reviewid: 44907Chapter: 2
oooo! this is an awesome story! please update it soon, i cant wait for more!

~!aLeXaNdRa!~

Reviewer: megarooniDate: 2003-07-31
Reviewid: 44858Chapter: 2
hey this is realy good! i hope you continue it! it sounds great! i love how Abby is a bit of a spaz but will likes her for it! definetly write more!

Reviewer: MegDate: 2003-07-30
Reviewid: 44666Chapter: 2
I'm so glad you're writing this fic! I was so afraid we wouldn't see any more of Abby after everything that happened in OotP. Will is such a great, real, down-to-earth character, and Abby is as charming and clumsy as ever.;) The whole Drew Hardy thing was funny. Gobbledegook, Parseltongue, and Mandarin Chinese?! It makes me want to read the books, just so I can laugh at Drew's Gary Stu-ness. The dialogue between Will and his friends was particularly well done--very funny and believable. I'm looking forward to more!

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2003-07-28
Reviewid: 44389Chapter: 2
Will, Davey and Owen are perfect teenage boys. Their conversation, their teasing, sharing of secrets...it was wonderful. Especially the awful moment when Davey told Will that he might make a play for Abby himself. Will's counter-move with the pinafore picture cracked me up.

Abby was great too! I loved how the potentially embarassing moment turned into a playful food-fight. I loved the bit about her sewing for Chocolate Frogs, when everyone (except Owen) knows that the house-elves will do mending for free.

Drew Hardy is also priceless! I loved Will's description of the fictional detective: "a teenaged git with cobalt blue eyes and perfectly coiffed hair, who solved wizarding mysteries through a combination of wandless magic, innate charm, and fluency in Gobbledegook, Parseltongue, and Mandarin Chinese."

More, more!!

Reviewer: JenniferDate: 2003-07-27
Reviewid: 44041Chapter: 2
Oh, I forgot to write this, Riddle's post reminded me:

“How do girls ever get so worked up over a fictional bloke?” he groaned.

Davey shrugged. “My mum says it’s easier than you’d think.”
**
*cough*SiriusBlack*cough*

Reviewer: JenniferDate: 2003-07-27
Reviewid: 44040Chapter: 2
Hmm. I'm starting to see Will as a person, now. ^_^ When I first read about him in "Interwoven" he reminded me of Will Parry from the Golden Compass series. They both seemed really sweet, kind of the tall, dark handsome guy. But now I'm seeing Will as a guy with his own insecurities (but still sweet and decent!). But he doesn't sound exactly like Sirius in his excerpts from his autobios, and that's good, because that makes Will an individual, not a Sirius-clone. Will's friends seem pretty real too. I liked the "Come to think of it, you weren’t much taller than you are now…" and the dancing photograph quote. I guess what I'm trying to say is, GOOD JOB! ^_^ I really hope you'll write in MWPP a bit, even if they're mentioned only in passing. I'd love to see what Will's opinion is on them. ^_^
~Jennifer

Reviewer: RiddleDate: 2003-07-26
Reviewid: 43988Chapter: 2
“How do girls ever get so worked up over a fictional bloke?” he groaned.

Davey shrugged. “My mum says it’s easier than you’d think.”
**
*cough*SiriusBlack*cough*

Ahem, anyway! Lovely chapter, I love this dialogue and the bit at the end with Abby laughing was great. Will seems so hopeless, I love it. And his friends are a riot.

Yahoo for good writing and easy reading! This is such a refreshing fic to read because there isn't a bunch of useless dialogue and everything else seems rather like it has a place and doesn't seem like it's just adding a bunch of extra words for the fun of it.

That didn't make sense, oh well. I've had no time to read any fic lately but I do make time for this.

:)Alayna

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43904Chapter: 2
You were an adolescent boy in another life, weren't you?

Nice work, Katy.

Catherine

Reviewer: AeternaDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43842Chapter: 2
OHHH! What a treat! Updates from you and Alchemilla on the same day! I just about fainted with pleasure when I saw the updates!! Wonderful chapter! Poor Will ... his friends just won't leave him alone, will they?

Much love,
'Terna

Reviewer: JulesDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43837Chapter: 1
YAY!! for more Abby! :D

But seriously, I'm loving this so far. Will's character's very intriguing; he's obviously brimming with confidence, and yet there's this huge block standing in the way of it. Like how he won't talk to Abby that often, and how he's so protective and everything. Loving him. :D When he's with his friends as well, it's just so... guyish. And how they're all blackmailing each other. XD

I loved the touch with Abby's watch as well; just her as a whole in this story has been so cute so far. Especially when she spilt her food in her lap; the stillness caused in the hall just made ME feel nervous, let alone how it must've been for them being there. XD

Wonderful start; can't wait for more!! :) I also just wanna tell you again here how happy I am you're still keeping Interwoven up; it's hardly A/U at all IMO, and it's great to see it surviving the blast of canon. ^_^

-Jules. xxx

Reviewer: Newbia The ElfDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43830Chapter: 2
Oy!So funny. I love back and forth dialogue between friends like you did,could read it for ever. Bit short though,and you didn't really learn much more of the plot,but very enjoyable to read.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43779Chapter: 2
[“How do girls ever get so worked up over a fictional bloke?” he groaned.
Davey shrugged. “My mum says it’s easier than you’d think.”] That it is. Moment of silence for Sirius, as written by Katinka.

Those Ravenclaws...we only *look* sweet and innoscent!

Davey and Owen really come across as normal, good natured teenage boys. They have their immature moments, like flinging food, but they also show a great deal of friendship and loyalty to Will by not teasing him too much about the Drew Hardy books and helping him get together with Abby. The banter and dialogue is very strong in this chapter.

I also love in this chapter how Will is focusing on Abby as a person and not just as a girl in a nightdress (although that image is soooo sweet!). I love it how even though Will is this hunky jock, he's not Mr. Smooth when it comes to the ladies. I also like how you've given him such a sense of decency. Will *could* have Judy Applegate if he wanted, but I like how you mention that he remembered how she used to not pay him any attention when he "weighed a measly nine stone." It's this sense of honor that really makes Will so likable.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: The Good Doctor MonacoDate: 2003-07-25
Reviewid: 43748Chapter: 2
Drew Hardy... a Gary-Stu if I ever saw one! LOL!

"'How do girls ever get so worked up over a fictional bloke?' he groaned.

Davey shrugged. 'My mum says it’s easier than you’d think.'"

-- *cracks up*

Ah! He DID know about the elves' mending place! Hehehe.... Good to see that Abby has a little devious streak in her.

There are so many great lines in this. Will is a really great character. Poor guy....

Until next chapter,

~Dr. Monaco~

Reviewer: KynaDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43717Chapter: 2
I am CRAXing up right now and the rest of my family is looking at my like I've come unhinged. Yet another great chapter...I thought I couldn't love Abby anymore than I did in Interwoven, but she is just so darn sweet.

Don't even get me started on Will...The line about girls getting all worked up over a fictional bloke...almost had me blushing there.

Great Chapter, looking forward to the next one. In the intermission I'll have to read your other recommendations.

Cheers
~Kyna

Reviewer: GwenDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43686Chapter: 2
Wonderful job so far, Katinka! I've always admired your writing style, and I never thought that I'd actually like Will Lowby. Keep up the good work!

PS. Is "Drew Hardy" based on the names "Nancy Drew" and "The Hardy Boys"?

Reviewer: HannahDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43677Chapter: 2
Another excellent chapter :)

It's really interesting seeing this part of Abby's life from Will's POV, and I love all the little bits you put in, like all the quidditch references, and the 'Drew Hardy, Teenage Sleuth' books.

*sighs* Oh, I wish I had a Will of my own! ;)

Reviewer: LilacDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43662Chapter: 2
Oh, this is turning out so cute! You have JKR's humor in your writing, you know that? Something serious could be happening, but something funny happens at the same time and lightens the mood. But this had a light mood anyway, but still. It's funny! I love Abby's clumsy side! Tonks reminded me of Abby in that way!

Reviewer: Silver PatronusDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43626Chapter: 2
WHEEE!

Firstly, Will just ROX. He's so wonderful. Can't even begin to tell you how brilliant he is, and how I feel a pang every time that I remember he's going to die.

Secondly, Drew Hardy is a Gary Stu if I've ever seen one. Heh.

Thirdy, PRIYA SHARMA! *is giddy* I can't believe you actually used the name. And I like to pretend it's me, because she likes to doodle fictional characters, too. :D

Yay for Katinka! Keep it up, it's turning out wonderfully!

Reviewer: AlkariDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43618Chapter: 2
Still chuckling at reading the final version. LOVE those boys, and their priorities in life - Quidditch, girls and food. In varying order! Abby is suitably devious, and I'm so glad she laughs at her clumsiness. Poor Will, when he thought she was going to cry!

Loved some of your descrptions about his feelings for Abby:

"Will looked down at his plate and smiled. He could forgive her Drew Hardy for this. Now, if he were only to find out that she knew a Porskoff Ploy from a Wolloongong shimmy, then life would really be perfect.'
and:
"Abby couldn&#8217;t like that rubbish! She was brilliant, and pretty, and she surely cared about important things, like Falmouth&#8217;s standing in the league, and their bid to acquire Declan Lynch from the Wigtown Wanderers."

But I confess to shedding a quiet little tear at these two lines, coming from the author of "Interwoven":-

&#8220;How do girls ever get so worked up over a fictional bloke?&#8221; he groaned.
Davey shrugged. &#8220;My mum says it&#8217;s easier than you&#8217;d think.&#8221;


RIP, Sirius Black ...

Alkari

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-07-24
Reviewid: 43609Chapter: 2
Hurray! I glomped this fic the minute I saw it was updated! :D

The "boy talk" was great. You gave each of them such distinct voices. I really liked it! Thank you for the honor done my Shummelflubs :) and yes, I can imagine what it's like to muck out a stable without a wand ;) LOL on Drew Hardy! I loved how you made him sound like a Gary Sue (perfect but non-angsty and male).

Abby's devious side was cute -- Hufflepuffs CAN be shifty when they want to -- and the bit about Davey in the pinafore was hilarious! It made me laugh not only because of the fact that he was a little boy in a dress, but also because I have also come across a fanfic featuring him as a grizzled adult with an eyepatch. Now that guy is wearing a pinafore and twirling around. Hee!

Great job as always!

Reviewer: KynaDate: 2003-07-16
Reviewid: 42366Chapter: 1
awww, that was so sweet. Will is adorable, I love Abby...I'm so excited for the next few chapters.

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2003-07-13
Reviewid: 41686Chapter: 1
I think you characterized a teenaged boy very well. Quidditch was foremost in his mind--but he was thinking about the girls in his class and how he had grown over the summer. It was is if he was excited about the changes in his life. His fantasy about Abby
was so sweet, so innocent.

Another part of this story that I just loved was that feeling of barely being able to stay awake during a bad lecture. Oh, how many times have we all been there? I was feeling a little restless just reading that part.

I can't help but feel sad meeting and getting to know Will, but I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Reviewer: Silver PatronusDate: 2003-07-12
Reviewid: 41544Chapter: 1
Katinka, you should have seen my face when I saw your name in the updated fic panel!

Oh, I LOVE! Will's brilliant, and very charming already, and oh-such-a-boy. He's cute and doesn't even know it! And the wristwatch thing? Beyond adorable. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Great work!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-07-11
Reviewid: 41492Chapter: 1
Lovely phrasing in these sentences; it really rolls off your tongue and shows a real command of language:
[dirge-like diction, in concert with the rhythmic snores]
[carved confessions of love]

[Will noted, as he absently prodded the vampire with his wand, trying to see if it would do a jig.] Hehehe! I really like all the descriptions of the scribbles on the desks; you make graffitti seem magical!

Oh, I love how you worked in the title to your fic in the fic! How sweet!

You've really captured the felings and thoughts of a 15 year old boy and yet retained a real innosense and sweetness to the piece. I really liked how you showed us how hard-working Will is by having him save his money to go to Quidditch camp and working hard on the farm all summer. He's just such a good, sweet, honest sort of fellow who would be perfect for Abby. And I love how he sees Abby, those first stirrings that girls are another creature entirely. All the scenarios of Abby in her nightdress were wonderful, the right blend of sugar and spice.

Love all the funny touches (wake the dead alarm clock and the graffitti). I'm sniffling already because we know what happens to Will and the McKinnons but I can't wait to read more of this!

Reviewer: RiddleDate: 2003-07-11
Reviewid: 41461Chapter: 1
This was so...fun! And actually really funny!

I'm happy to see you writing again, even if it's not with Sirius. (*sob*) I'll miss him and Abby, but I've always wanted to read about Will!

:)Alayna

Reviewer: TapestryDate: 2003-07-11
Reviewid: 41458Chapter: 1
Yeah! I'm so glad you posted this. I love it even more on the second reading. You have such a wonderful lyric style and the insight into teenage boy's thoughts seemed spot on. I can't wait to see the future chapters. I know this isn't easy for you to write, we're all a little in mourning for certain individuals and Abby in particular, but you've pulled it off wonderfully.

Reviewer: ISJDate: 2003-07-11
Reviewid: 41407Chapter: 1
As much as I adore Sirius and Abby together, I *love* Will! He is hilarious and very lovable. I can see already why Abby adored him. I'm really, really looking forward to the rest of this fic, since, as always, it is very well-written and bursting with character.

"Duff the Magic Puffskein" was priceless.

And even we "swotty Ravenclaws" have a very hard time with Binns.

I've been a fan of your Sirius/Abby fics for a while now. A huge fan. When I read the, ahem, Certain Event (and I am one of those still in denial), part of me was in mourning for Abby. Whatever you decide to do with your fics in the future (and even if they just always stay as they are now) I'll be rooting for you and for Abby, my very favorite Sirius ship of all time.

Slainte!
ISJ

Reviewer: Incurable RomanticDate: 2003-07-10
Reviewid: 41352Chapter: 1
How perfectly charming, we finally get the chance to meet this famous Will.

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-07-10
Reviewid: 41266Chapter: 1
Abby is always a joy to read, and for my money, I think you're right and JKR is callous.

Beautifully done portrayal of Will as well. I look forward very much to the rest.

Catherine

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