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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 43

Reviewer: krumfanDate: 2006-06-11
Reviewid: 143359Chapter: 1
Lovely thoughts...but you got some stuff out of canon...still, nice fic.

Reviewer: CassieDate: 2004-07-08
Reviewid: 91298Chapter: 1
There really are no other words for it, that was brilliant. Actually gave me goosebumps. Long live Padfoot!

Reviewer: Erin LovegoodDate: 2004-07-04
Reviewid: 90598Chapter: 1
Very nicely done. I really like the way you've captured her thoughts about her family.

Reviewer: ZaraDate: 2004-07-02
Reviewid: 90175Chapter: 1
Wow... I like it alot

Reviewer: ShadowDate: 2004-04-16
Reviewid: 79095Chapter: 1
wow..wow I dont beleive it... that was amazing!Ive never read anything like that. It really gives you a lot of backround info for the books. I dont think I'll ever read the OotP the same way again! Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: GyakutennoDate: 2004-03-16
Reviewid: 74830Chapter: 1
I've got goosebumps... ya know that Five for Fighting song, "100 Years"? Well, there's a good reason I cannot stand it... Whoever wrote that song is blowing raspberries at fate. If you haven't heard it, then oh well. Poor Sirius, spent more than a third of his life in jail and all... and his mother was so horrible, too. I can believe she'd put Crucio on him... *shivers like she has hypothermia* P-poor guy. Only about seven years of his life were any good, far as I can figure out. I don't know about karma, but he didn't deserve anything that happened to him. Well, about 3% of it! Also, why would Andromeda doubt she's a Gryffindor? Pretty brave of her to stand up to her family. Anyway, just being random, but my computer has realized Grimmauld Place is a street name and wants to give me driving directions!

Reviewer: TharkunDate: 2004-01-29
Reviewid: 68806Chapter: 1
All right, so Bellatrix is the older, Narcissa the younger. I don't really care; this is the perfect sort of thing for me, reminiscent of Drizzt's chapter introductions, narrated by Andromeda who I really, really like for some reason, and the gravitations towards our Padfoot seal this one. Thumbs up!

Reviewer: katieDate: 2004-01-26
Reviewid: 68502Chapter: 1
ok im soo close to crying right now. that is so sad. i loved sirius, he was so my favorite. ok now im crying, thats such a nice thought though that later he will get a chance.

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2004-01-12
Reviewid: 66783Chapter: 1
This is a elegant story. The tone switches from formal to chatty and back again in the blink of an eye. You made Andromeda both believeable and appealing, especially in her attitude towards Ted. She's resigned to the fact her parents played favourites, and that she wasn't a favourite. You can see how she lavished attention on Sirius.

"He was intelligent enough to forsake his family, when he was of age, and think for himself. And that is saying a lot for a child of Alcyone Black. That was Sirius’ mother, my aunt, next to whom a Dementor looked like a Puffskein. The damage she did to her older son ran deep, deeper than I suspected when he was young."

What an insightful sentence, mixing humour with tragedy. It's true that having a mother like that must have marked Sirius deeply.

I was highly amused by this sentence.

"Sirius was that brilliant; smarter than Bella, probably the most intelligent person our family has ever produced, except for Nymphadora of course."

A mother's love. Very perceptive.

"Was Sirius Black a villain or a victim? Sadly, he was a victim in the end, ultimately unable to escape his upbringing. A prisoner at Grimmauld Place, a prisoner in Azkaban, and then in Grimmauld Place again."

These are exactly my thoughts on Sirius - his life really does seem tragic when you look over it.

I liked the bit at the end with Lakshmi - naming her after the Hindu goddess of good luck. It's a hopeful ending to what is quite a dark piece.

I assume that Andromeda's remarks about Lily and James come from when she found out the true story? Would Sirius really have told her that he was the Secret Keeper?

Reviewer: AndreaDate: 2003-12-09
Reviewid: 62578Chapter: 1
Wow! That is an awesome Fic. . . you took a good solid basis of canon and then built on it with interesting views, yet not straying too far from the realistic. You did this very well. . .though that may seem like a very basic thing in writing FF, I find it is difficult to find such a balance. Very nice, easy to follow writing style, way it is approached makes the reader feel very relaxed.
I really enjoyed your fic! (This is the first HP FF I have ever read! I've read many LotR FF, but I have to say you've opened my eyes to the HP Fics.) I hope to read more of your work.

Reviewer: atroposDate: 2003-10-29
Reviewid: 58314Chapter: 1
Clarimonde, this is an amzingly powerful piece. Your Andromeda is incredibly complex - quite an achievement in a shortish fic. She clearly loves her husband and daughter fiercly, and has enough distance from the events of her past that she can recount them in a seemingly dispassionate manner. I say seemingly, because when you look closely at some of the language you have her use it is quite chilling. For example ..

>>Well, young Draco is by all accounts a worthless, spoilt brat, with, alas, Lucius’ looks and Cissa’s brains, lucky to have a family fortune as he would not amount to anything otherwise.<<

The comment she makes about Lucius' looks and Narcissa's brains is acidic, and quite something to believe about a 15 year old boy that it looks as though she has never met. She seems to have wrestled with a great deal of hatred and evil in her family background, and come to terms with it, not by 'dealing with it' and forgiving her family but by acknowedging that they no longer have the power to hurt her. There's a great deal of strength and bravery in that. I can see why she was a Gryffindor.

A fantastic job. I loved it!

Atropos

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-10-24
Reviewid: 57711Chapter: 1
This is such a remarkable narrative. You have truly placed us inside Andromeda's head and heart...and shown us what her past was like, what she learned from it, and how she & Ted have built their world as an opposite of their personal histories. Reading this, you really get a sense of her overwhelming love for her husband and daughter and pity for the rest of her family.

Beautifully written.

Reviewer: MyfDate: 2003-10-17
Reviewid: 56760Chapter: 1
Oh - how heartbreaking. Every time I think I'm over Sirius' death, another wonderful fic like this one opens up all the old wounds again.

This is a really touching and plausible account... I never really considered Andromeda's situation growing up as part of that family.

Thanks.

Reviewer: KatDate: 2003-09-21
Reviewid: 53833Chapter: 1
Wonderful story. I'm sitting here with goosebumps up my back :o)

Reviewer: RilinaDate: 2003-09-09
Reviewid: 51487Chapter: 1
Very nice ficlet. The down-to-earth voice that you give Andromeda in this fic really sums up what little we know of her from canon. It's easy to imagine Tonks' mother saying something like "I, meanwhile, kept my nose clean." This is also definitely the voice of a mother. I love her indulgent thoughts of Tonks in the midst of her more serious reflections.

I thought the imagery of the opening paragraph was very effective--familiar without being cliche.

>> her cleverness curdling into craziness<<
Great use of alliteration--and a wonderful image.

>>When I heard the news, that Sirius had betrayed his best friend James, his wife and their baby son to You-Know-Who, and murdered fourteen innocent people in cold blood, I lost my only family.<<
Hmm, I've always been under the impression that the bit about James and Lily wasn't widely known, but it's been a while since I read PoA.

>> It was where I learned I was not homely, dumpy and stupid, but merely an average girl in every way, with the bad luck to have been born into a family of beauties and geniuses. <<
I'm not sure how much you were consciously trying to emphasize this theme--the value of the honest and everyday. Did you consider playing it up more at all?

This is a very small and nitpicky criticism, but there were a few times where I thought the language was a little at odds with the conversational tone. Conversely, there were also a few places where the use of conversational asides actually made a line a bit hard to read amidst the filler. (This is going to sound ridiculous, I know, but you use an em-dashes in a lot of your sentences. It seems indicative of using the same sentence structure a bit too much.)

All in all, you did a wonderful job in keeping a balance between writing style, readibility, and the character's voice. Looking forward to seeing some of your other writing. (Can't for the life of me remember if I ever reviewed "A Scattered Fire of Stars." If not, it's on my to-do list.)

Thanks for writing,
R.

Reviewer: LizDate: 2003-09-03
Reviewid: 50595Chapter: 1
A brilliant look at a character that's only mentioned, but we never get to know. I want to believe this is who she is ...this is what she thinks....about Sirius, Narcissa, Bellatrix, everything ...:)

Reviewer: celestina blackDate: 2003-09-02
Reviewid: 50368Chapter: 1
wow
most random person ever
most beautiful story possible

Reviewer: MadelynDate: 2003-08-24
Reviewid: 48457Chapter: 1
Wow, that's a really good first person fic. I love the family history you've given Andromeda. After reading this, I'll prefer it to any canon evidence given by JKR. Seriously, I think it fills in a lot of blanks, like the personality of a Black girl that would dare leave to marry a muggle. Poor Andromeda, living with a beauty and a genius. It's hard to be shown up by a sister. Anyways, great fic. Can't wait to read more!

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2003-08-18
Reviewid: 47675Chapter: 1
Great story. Very well done. I love how you developed the background of a very minor character. (Hopefully JK Rowling will add more about her in book 6 or 7)

Reviewer: RosaleeDate: 2003-08-16
Reviewid: 47398Chapter: 1
Oh, my God. I am sobbing right now. That was so beautiful. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that this story is backstory for OotP. You've taken a character that we know so little about and morphed her into a beautifully caring individual that I hope JKR will introduce to us one day. Well done!!!

P.S. Is anyone else hoping to see a Black sister reunion in Books Six or Seven? lol.

Reviewer: Amy/AuthorByNightDate: 2003-08-14
Reviewid: 47108Chapter: 1
*Sniff* I didn't believe everything at the end, but I still thought this was a great fanfic. I, too, am doing a fanfic on Andromeda, though I'm doing another one first. I'm going to check to see if you have more fics!

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2003-08-13
Reviewid: 46868Chapter: 1
One thing that strikes me about this piece is how you nail down Andromeda as a mother. I find it completely believable that someone from a cold, unfeeling family would want to give their child everything she didn't have in terms of approval.

I think your theme is great. She's not the prettiest or the smartest, but she knows what life is really about. That's quite a victory in a family like that, and her reflections on Sirius, his temperament and his struggles, are all the more poignant.

A wonderful characterization!

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46813Chapter: 1
A wonderful look at Sirius' "favorite cousin". :) I'm glad he had at least a few relations who could show him what normal family behavior consisted of! It's so sweet that Nymphadora offered to marry him, and that she later wanted to pass his name on to a child of her own.

I found the sisterly dynamics to be really interesting, probably because I'm the oldest of three sisters myself. Who would that make me, Narcissa? ;)

Andromeda and Ted are endearing -- you can see that they passed their decency onto Nymphadora, who seems to be blessedly free of any of that "Toujours Pur" garbage. I love that Andromeda used the family names (always a potential minefield) intentionally, knowing it would rile them to no end. Heh heh.

Excellent character sketch!

~Katinka

Reviewer: Fawkes101Date: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46789Chapter: 1
Brilliant fic! Haven't read on about Tonk's mother, but this one is amazing! marvelous job!

Reviewer: JulesDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46768Chapter: 1
Nice work :)

I really liked the tone of the whole story, and it's one of few first-person stories that I've actually enjoyed. :) I'm really intrigued into her character, and really like how you've portrayed her early years and how she was overlooked.

Good job :)

-Jules. xxx

Reviewer: Joey PotterDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46766Chapter: 1
Oh my God. I'm sorry if I don't make much sense in this review, but this is one of the most heart-breaking stories I have ever read. And I think that's because I know it's real. Sirius didn't get any love from his mother.
It made me cry more than once, and it's such a short story!
The ending was so great. It's one of those, where there's three lines left and I think 'There's no way she can make a good ending', and yet, you did! "Maybe in the next incarnation, he'll have a chance." That is the saddest, yet most fabulous line I've ever read. That line, that single line made me cry. I can't describe what i feel for that last line, so I'll just tell you that this story was absolutely great!

Reviewer: FaelaernDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46762Chapter: 1
An excellent story, I enjoyed reading it, though it was sad. I like your Andromeda very much, quite realistic.

"He would laugh when she ordered double chocolate as she always did, saying that she and his friend Remus Lupin were a pair."

Being a Remus/Tonks shipper, I had to smile at this line, which was, I'm sure, you intention.

Great work!

Reviewer: LDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46761Chapter: 1
aw, that was a wonderful story. Good pick of point of view too!!

Reviewer: NeoDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46746Chapter: 1
Wow, what a wonderful and powerful piece of work. The explanation why Andromeda's excepted the fact that her favourite cousin is a mass murderer so easily is very interesting. It makes sense and is tragically and sad ? poor guy!

Reviewer: IceDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46731Chapter: 1
excellent piece. a nice insight to andromeda and mourning piece for sirius...<whimper>

Reviewer: TerraDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46727Chapter: 1
Wow. I just wanted to say that last bit was powerful. It's a really beautiful ending.

You should write more.

Terra

Reviewer: InsanityDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46712Chapter: 1
What a wondeful, insightful piece. So sad, and then what a great way for Sirius to - may be- come back.

Great bits of humor, too!
"he’s never lifted a wand to pick up a dropped sock"

Description of dating at Hogwars was adorable, too. So was the double chocolate ice cream line!

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46707Chapter: 1
Fabulous as always! :D Thank you for fleshing out Andromeda so vividly. I could relate to the way she once compared herself to her sisters and am glad that while she didn't see herself as beautiful or brilliant, she nevertheless got herself a loving husband and a very unique daughter :) I'm glad she fought to get away from her cuckoo birth family to have a fairly peaceful (hee, Nymphadora probably livened things up quite a bit) and definitely very loving husband and child. The story behind Nymphadora's name was great, and I loved the idea of Narcissa waiting years before finally "deigning to conceive" -- very in-character for the ice princess you depicted her as!

I also enjoyed reading about Andromeda's relationship to Sirius because it gives him more depth, too. I got to see him more as one of MWPP or Prisoner No. Whatever in Azkaban. Very nice. And his delight in Nymphadora was wonderful, too. I think his love of kids, not just of Harry, fits in very nicely with his sunny, mischievous nature.

Great work!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46702Chapter: 1
I'm so glad you wrote about Andromeda. She is a rather fascinating "shadow" character. And I really like the fairy tale theme you use to describe the relationship between the sisters. The opening paragraph really grabs your attention and I really like the first person POV in this.

[cleverness curdling into craziness] Oh, excellent phrasing and allitertion. I especially like the verb choice of "curdling." It evokes this image of youth and freshness turning completely sour.

[I wasn’t invited, of course, but I read the announcement in the Daily Prophet.] So sad, yet you really capture Andromeda's voice in that sentence. Also, I think you've nailed it on the head with Narcissa probably being too vain for motherhood.

[He never got to kiss a beloved wife good-bye on his way to work, never got to hold his children in his arms, never will be an old man teaching his grandchildren how to play Exploding Snap.] I teared up at this part, especially when thinking about Abby Loomis!

Excellent character sketch, you've really given life to this character. Well written, meditative, full of humor and heart and those "little" moments and details that really makes Andromeda seems like flesh and blood. Great work!

Reviewer: JustineDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46698Chapter: 1
Wow...this was amazing. I've been waiting for this ever since I saw your sig-that first line just grabs you! For some reason, I had thought it was a longer story, with chapters, but this is better somehow. It was really interesting to read about sirius's life from Andromeda's point of view- very well done!

Reviewer: KrystalDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46693Chapter: 1
A very thoughtful piece! What a sad state this "Noble and Most Ancient House" has ended up in! When you list their family history this way, it really shows just how messed up their family tree really is. I'm glad that at least Andromeda finally learned the truth about Sirius, even if it was after his death. And writing this story from her perspective was very interesting. I love it!

Reviewer: ChloéDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46691Chapter: 1
Quite happy to see that I've found the fic attached to your forum sig' and what can I say ?
Perfect, so full of bitterness and yet happiness ( wish paddy could have found the same ...*sob*) anyway not a single trace of disappointment, I siriusly hope that Andromeda's characterization in the next books ( if JKR finds necessary to deepen this character that is to say and I expect her to do it)would be close to the one you bring to life...

Reviewer: RonkaperplexousDate: 2003-08-12
Reviewid: 46689Chapter: 1
I've been curious about Andromeda since I first read about her, and I jumped when I saw your sig teaser. Andromeda's a peculiar character, isn't she? Doing the opposite of what her family stands for, naming her child Nymphadora, coming from a place that most certainly had a House-Elf and still knowing all kinds of householdy spells... I very much enjoyed your portrayal of her. It's very detailed and seems like it would happen. My only complaint was that it didn’t have enough Ted, but that’s a silly qualm and should not be taken seriously. Well done. (And by the way, I found the Tonks-proposing-to-Sirius scene hilariously cute.)

Reviewer: Madame LupinDate: 2003-08-11
Reviewid: 46671Chapter: 1
Very well written. I liked Andromeda's character, how, even though she wasn't the "pretty one" or the "clever one" she ended up being the happy one. Her thoughts of Sirius makes me love and miss him even more. Do you think you would write a full-length fic about Andromeda? Like one that takes place at a specific time and setting? I think you would write it excellently.

Reviewer: ileneDate: 2003-08-11
Reviewid: 46667Chapter: 1
I'd been intrigued by your take on Andromeda ever since I saw the quote in your forum sig, "I was not the pretty one - that was Narcissa. I was not the clever one - that was Bellatrix. I was the plain, quiet one, the little brown duck in a flock of swans. But I was the only sister who “lived happily ever after.” I'm happy to see that the rest of your fic has lived up to my expectations! I also found your thoughts about why so many people would find Sirius capable of murder, including Andromeda, and the reasons why Andromeda gave Tonks such a strange name. A lot of people have said that Sirius was warped by the years he spent in Azakaban, but I think your idea that it started way before that makes a lot of sense.

Reviewer: CristinaDate: 2003-08-11
Reviewid: 46666Chapter: 1
*blows kisses* Wonderful, I love it, and it made me realize how much I'm going to miss Padfoot :'(

Reviewer: Evelyn DreamtrotDate: 2003-08-11
Reviewid: 46657Chapter: 1
This is a great story. Really, one of the best I've read. Keep writing!
Evelyn

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2003-08-11
Reviewid: 46651Chapter: 1
Well done! A great voice for the character.

I particularly liked the ending.

Catherine

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