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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 91

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-18
Reviewid: 139987Chapter: 1

Reviewer: purebristlesDate: 2006-01-08
Reviewid: 138168Chapter: 1
Interesting concept - talking chess! Original, AND funny!

Reviewer: smudgedinkDate: 2006-01-04
Reviewid: 138001Chapter: 1
The white queen stared pointedly at them both. “It’s like chess, you know. The best strategy in the world sits useless until someone is willing to make the first move.”

Ron nodded a bit as if realizing she had a point. “And it has to be me? Making the first move?”

Sean shrugged. “Well, if you don’t, the whole thing just stays a stalemate. How badly do you want to win?”

Ron furrowed his brow at the question, trying to decide even for himself just what the answer might be. “Win her? Pretty badly, I’m afraid. Though sometimes I think I’m completely mental for it.”

“Case closed then, my friend,” Sean said resignedly.

- - - -

I laughed out loud, both in shock and in understanding, at this part. I am going through the same predicament at the moment - how weird is that? But, anyway, what I thought when I read this was, "Exactly!!!" I have been working up the nerve to ask this coworker for another chance (he asked me out a month ago, and I so stupidly turned him down) - I was going to attempt it tomorrow, if my nervousness didn't get the better of me - but in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't going to. (Yes, hello, I am a certified wimp.) But reading that little passage (and such a great story!) made me realize that, stinging rejection or not, it has to be done or I'll never get any rest. So, what this lengthy comment was supposed to accomplish is to simply say THANK YOU!

Reviewer: LeiaDate: 2004-11-12
Reviewid: 104561Chapter: 1
Great story. Really funny and it fit right in with the direct quotes from the book. R/H forever. :)

Reviewer: Jessica R VanceDate: 2004-10-12
Reviewid: 101111Chapter: 1
Wow! A Missing Moment fic that didn't actually get Ron and Hermione together! How rare! And I loved it. LOVE the parallels. Bravo, bravo, bravissimo!

Reviewer: Shina LarisDate: 2004-10-10
Reviewid: 100947Chapter: 1
This story was simply lovely. You've written Persephone and Sean so like Ron and Hermione that at times I'm certain that it's not the chessmen but our two hero and heroine talking. It's one of the best one-shot I've ever read!

Reviewer: NezDate: 2004-09-29
Reviewid: 99787Chapter: 1
That was lovely. Thank you. :-)

Reviewer: Jo WickaninnishDate: 2004-08-18
Reviewid: 97857Chapter: 1
Oh my goodness, your Sean and Persephone were, by far, the most real chess pieces I've ever come across :0) I'll certainly be eyeing my own set differently now.

I really enjoyed your characterization of Rom and Hermione (and even the little bit of Harry that was saw), there were all well done. I was impressed by Ron's reaction to Malfoy and the fight.

And he carried her books. :o) Awwww.

Reviewer: PazaDate: 2004-08-12
Reviewid: 96847Chapter: 1
That was a lovely story, I loved the idea! Adorable and very well written, wonderful job!

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-08-01
Reviewid: 95159Chapter: 1
That was so cute, lol! Yeah for Ron making a move, it wasn't that hard, now was it? Nice work.

Reviewer: EireneDate: 2004-07-20
Reviewid: 93233Chapter: 1
Very cute! I liked how you had the chess pieces talk to Ron about strategy, and stuff. Great job!

Reviewer: Poppy PDate: 2004-07-17
Reviewid: 92868Chapter: 1
I can't believe I hadn't reviewed this gem! It's been here a year and I've missed it? I'm very sorry because this is a great little piece of R/H. Lighthearted, but with a great introspection on Ron's character. I loved it. Reading stuff like this really takes an edge of the whole OotP thing. Thank you :)

Reviewer: RossyDate: 2004-07-09
Reviewid: 91426Chapter: 1
woooowww, I love it, you make me laugh, you almost make me cry, you are soooo good, congrats.

Reviewer: EndicottDate: 2004-06-23
Reviewid: 88479Chapter: 1
That was great please write more. It was the perfect Ron just how I imagined him

Reviewer: MeDate: 2004-06-23
Reviewid: 88446Chapter: 1
Love it!

Reviewer: AnnaDate: 2004-06-22
Reviewid: 88349Chapter: 1
Absolutely marvellous! Very good characterisations, and I love the parallels of Sean and Persephone. It feels like canon too, even though I know it isn't. It SHOULD BE, dammit! lol

Reviewer: KristineDate: 2004-06-22
Reviewid: 88202Chapter: 1
Hey, this is a really great one shot fic you have here. You should really develop something from it. It has a lot of depth and character plot that can be expanded upon. Great writing, and use of imagination. Keep it up! Let me know if you do anything more with this.

Reviewer: RemiDate: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80351Chapter: 1
Very fluffy! It definetly needed to be added to OoP.

Reviewer: DailyhopingDate: 2004-04-10
Reviewid: 77924Chapter: 1
It was longer than the typicaly one chapter fanfics- completely worth every moment.

I love the way you characterize Ron. Fabulous job, very real and emotive.

Also, I don't know how you do it. Your writing is so incredible. Not to mention an extremely creative plot, but the imagery is wonderful.

The chess pieces seemed like. It was as if I could see a middle-aged couple bickering and then making up so hastily. I absolutely loved it.

Reviewer: BBennettDate: 2004-03-17
Reviewid: 74961Chapter: 1
Really nice - I like your characterization of Ron. :)

Reviewer: likeicareDate: 2004-03-15
Reviewid: 74753Chapter: 1
one of the best r/h fics i've ever read, no kidding...nothing to fluffy or cheesy, but nothing too cold or empty either...the butterflies are still there... not to mention unique...very well-written, you did an excellent job!--and i don't give my praises lightly

Reviewer: ZEBRA GIRLDate: 2004-02-18
Reviewid: 71273Chapter: 1
Ithink that is the begining of a beautiful relationship.(did i spell it right?)

Reviewer: NicDate: 2004-02-11
Reviewid: 70133Chapter: 1
That was *the* sweetest thing ever!!!!

What a brilliant idea with the chess pieces. I love Ron so much in that, it was so, so ,lovley!!!

Reviewer: Cameo CaelanDate: 2004-01-19
Reviewid: 67662Chapter: 1
I really like the way you portray Ron! It's really interesting to get behind his feelings for once and you do it amazingly. The development of R/Hr is good too, not too blatant and very realistic.

Reviewer: wilaniaDate: 2004-01-13
Reviewid: 66989Chapter: 1
V. well written. Thanks for an insightful look into Ron's world. I enjoyed Sean and Persephone very much!

Reviewer: SpifeDate: 2004-01-13
Reviewid: 66866Chapter: 1
That was so purrrrfect! I thought Ron was very cute. You kept him in character very well. The Chess pieces were funny and cute and just brilliant. As always, I wish I could write like you!

Reviewer: StefanieDate: 2004-01-13
Reviewid: 66865Chapter: 1
loved it!

Reviewer: Magical MuggleDate: 2004-01-13
Reviewid: 66816Chapter: 1
Awww...Very cute! I got it; Sean, like Ron, and Persephone, like Hermione! Very clever! That was really just amazing! You're such a great writer! Keep up the wonderful work!!!

Reviewer: IsabellaDate: 2003-12-26
Reviewid: 64874Chapter: 1
ahhhh!!! this was just...oooh! *gushes on and on about how brilliant the metaphoric chess pieces are* this coming from someone who more often than not sits there looking at chess metaphors from many different angles (example: Ron and Harry on the train, when Ron tells Gin she'll find someone "better"...aha!) I LOVED Sean and Persephone...excellent! and I thought it was hilarious how Ron would be content talking to them and the next minute be like, "Bloody hell, I'm talking to little stone figures." The unbuttoned shirt (*getting images* ... ) was a perfect touch. ahhh!!I love your writing and I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am to be reading your stories again!!
Isa =)

Reviewer: CorvidaeDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63527Chapter: 1
oh my, i think that was one of the best R/H stories i've ever read! truly amazing, i only hope you'll continue! *-*

Reviewer: Llewella d'ambreDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63353Chapter: 1
Absolutely stunning! I LOVED it! This was so fun to read, I found myself rooting along silently the whole time. I loved the whole intertwining of the chess pieces and then the R/H. Great stuff!

Reviewer: cinnamonDate: 2003-12-14
Reviewid: 63218Chapter: 1
I'm gonna cry, thas so sweet!

Reviewer: F i 3 r Y of D0oMyDate: 2003-11-27
Reviewid: 60928Chapter: 1
^_^ really cute. love Is very much like a chess board

Reviewer: kayjalDate: 2003-11-25
Reviewid: 60679Chapter: 1
bloody excellent. i love ron

Reviewer: JenDate: 2003-11-19
Reviewid: 60535Chapter: 1
That was a great story! I really love Sean and Persephone - I know that Ron and Hermione are the "real" characters, but the ones who shine are Sean and Persephone.

Reviewer: EurydiceDate: 2003-11-18
Reviewid: 60530Chapter: 1
What an original idea! I like this story very much; Ron's so durned cute, ain't he?

The premise of the story reminds me of a picture my sister drew called "Waiting for Hermione to Make the Next Move." She's here on the Quill under the pen name "noodles," if you're curious!

Reviewer: scgDate: 2003-11-18
Reviewid: 60507Chapter: 1
"being friends isn't -enough- anymore"
Ohh, chills! Very nice.

Reviewer: Paco ZárateDate: 2003-11-18
Reviewid: 60487Chapter: 1
NZ: This short story is one of the coolest I've read! And very funny! Haha... I'd want to see Persephone and Sean again... It would be terrific :)... Maybe as guest actors on a future ffic :) hahaha... Thanks for sharing us this story!

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-11-17
Reviewid: 60377Chapter: 1
This was a lovely one-shot. I can't believe I didn't see it until now! :)

Excellent job weaving bits from canon into the fic. I also loved the chess pieces with minds of their own! The sound-alike names were fun, and heh, even *they* could see what Ron and Hermione could not :D

I loved how Hermione pointed out that Ron's shirt was unbuttoned. I had noticed it, too, and was waiting for her to say something! Hee!

Great job!

Reviewer: Myster webDate: 2003-11-16
Reviewid: 60294Chapter: 1
The chess pieces are great! I've never thought of them that way! Great job and keep going!

Reviewer: AliceDate: 2003-11-16
Reviewid: 60182Chapter: 1
ooh! Yay! funny story! except I spelled story stpru! lol!

Reviewer: PortiaDate: 2003-11-14
Reviewid: 60014Chapter: 1
Just letting you know that I loved this. I love all your R/H, as a matter of fact. :) The chess pieces are my new favorite fanon characters.

Reviewer: HildigunnurDate: 2003-11-11
Reviewid: 59711Chapter: 1
Hmmm ... I would call this a missing scene with a twist. Maybe because it's a bit more than a missing scene. A good story on its own really. Loved how you worked the chess pieces into the story. And I especially liked the lesson Ron learned ... really something that warmed my little shipper heart :)

Reviewer: DonDate: 2003-10-27
Reviewid: 57994Chapter: 1
Nicely done! I enjoyed seeing things from Ron's perspective. And it is nie to see that metaphor worked up into a complete story.

Nice lines:
[Ron slapped his hand over his mouth and slumped into the chair behind him, the pawns bouncing around in their box on his lap. No, it couldn’t be... ] Very well done!

[“Poor bloke,” Ron said in amusement. “If they were real, I’d say he fancied her. Don’t do it, man, she’ll break your heart.] Very funny!

Great job!

Reviewer: caitlinDate: 2003-10-24
Reviewid: 57759Chapter: 1
wow. i was very impressed with this story. almost torn from OOTP, but then twisted with your own bit of flair. excellent.

i must inquire, however, if sean was named that way because jkr's own ron was named "sean"? i hope so.

Reviewer: miaDate: 2003-10-21
Reviewid: 57173Chapter: 1
that was great. the way it was written-simple, yet it was very moving. i dunno why, but it made me tear up a little. good job.

Reviewer: HannahDate: 2003-10-15
Reviewid: 56553Chapter: 1
That was a really nice filler! Oh how I wish something had happened in OotP (don't we all), but *sigh* we'll have to content ourselves with our own active imaginations for a while (or the imaginations of people more talented at writing than ourselves... you, for example).

Reviewer: Ebony SteinbachDate: 2003-09-21
Reviewid: 53798Chapter: 1
Absolutely fabulous!

Really well written and the symbolism was really clever.
Sean and Persephone pretty much stole the show. Gosh, their so spunky and cute. Will you be writing anymore fics about them?

BTW, does anyone know how to pronounce Persephone? Is it PER-sef-FO-nee or Per-SEF-fin-nee?

Reviewer: Silver PhoenixDate: 2003-09-08
Reviewid: 51308Chapter: 1
Aw! Awesome little one-shot fic! It had everything - R/H, semi-shirtless Ron, great, believeable dialogue, talking chess pieces, semi-shirtless Ron, non-emotional-range-of-a-teaspoon Ron, semi-shirtless Ron, and semi-shirtless Ron. Very cute, funny, and fluffy. I especially enjoyed this quote:

"Harry just rolled his eyes and turned back to feign studying the chessboard, apparently not in the mood to deal with someone who was as bad-tempered as he himself had been of late."

I don't know why. I just snorted when I read it.

Oh, also loved Sean and Persephone - it only hit me about halfway through that the names were subtly like Ron and Hermione's...heh.

Another masterpiece, as usual, NZ! Well done!


Reviewer: SueDate: 2003-09-05
Reviewid: 50837Chapter: 1

Have left a review for this in other places, but just wanted to let you know how thrilled I was to see that you had written something after *Points*.

You have such a knack for getting canon Ron so perfectly right in each and every nuance of his *Ron-ness*. LOL

The dialogue was absolutely incredibly real and brought a smile to my face that has not left for quite a while.

Great work with the talking chess pieces and funny enough while I could quickly see the intended parallels between the two *couples*, it took a second read through to get the Ron/Sean rhymings. I'm not sure if this was just intentionally deft on your part or incredible obtuse on mine. LOL

So many wonderful lines to quote but I especially liked the friendship is not quite enough anymore line. Somehow, said in both honesty and hesitation made it incredibly poignant and true.

Well done and welcome back.


Reviewer: SamanthaDate: 2003-09-04
Reviewid: 50676Chapter: 1
I hate it when it does that &^$$#% thing when ever you use a apostropse. Hopefully it doesn't on your computer but if it does Sorry.

Reviewer: SamanthaDate: 2003-09-04
Reviewid: 50675Chapter: 1
Ok I'm making my long Review now. I thought your story was really good not as good as Points but no story can live up to that. Anyways i thought it was Great I love Sean and Persephone! They were really cute. Ok so now on to well the real reviewing I guess:

“It always worries me when you mention that Hagrid’s got ‘something exciting’ with him,” Ron said. “I’ve always thought he had the concepts of ‘something exciting’ and ‘something lethal’ rather confused--and it would be a bad time to get them mixed up with Umbridge around to fire off a report to the Ministry.”
~ I thought that part was great! I've always thought that about Hagrid too. To bad I don't know J.K cause than maybe she could write me into the book. That way I won't feel stupid when i refer to a charactor like i know them in life i do the same thing with my Soap Opera's.~

"She reached back and yanked her robes from the edge of the entrance with an irritated flourish that nearly jarred a cowering second-year from his seat nearby."
~ I have no idea why since this isn't like a funny kinda haha thing but i started cracking up. It was just really funny to me! TeeHee see even writing about it makes me laugh. Hm.... Maybe I'm just crazy cause Peanut Butter makes me laugh my head off too.(Is it just me or is it a funny word?)~

“Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl,” said Ron. He spoke quietly so that Hermione wouldn’t come back to bite his head off; then he prodded his queen forward so that she could begin beating up one of Harry’s knights. Somehow it was a relief to watch some other poor bloke get the snot beaten out of him by an irate female--Ron had certainly taken his turn with Hermione’s verbal jabs this year.

Harry watched closely. “She’s just a bit brutal if you ask me.”

Ron glanced toward the staircase to the girls’ dorm. “Well, you know how she gets with any exam, and now that we’re talking about O.W.L.s...”

Harry raised his eyebrows at his opponent. “I was talking about your queen.”
~I thought that was Hilarious typical Ron Hermione's always on his mind and he defends her too. Actually this was Cuter than it was funny. Hm.....Ya it was well Awwwwwww our Ickle Ronnekins is becoming a man!~

“Poor bloke,” Ron said in amusement. “If they were real, I’d say he fancied her. Don’t do it, man, she’ll break your heart. One day you’ll find all the love letters she’s been writing to some--” for some reason, the words ‘ fancy Quidditch player’ nearly fell out of his mouth, but he quickly substituted, “--fancypants-- and it’ll all but kill you.”
~ That was Cute to with a bit of laughter mixed in. I just love the way you make Ron he's so canon and that's awesome.~

“It’s not following the rules that I usually have a problem with,” Harry’s knight replied. “It’s the way you follow them. I know the rules are part of the game, but do you have to be so damned mean?”

The queen gasped. “Language, Sean.”
~LoL This is such a Ron and Hermione moment I was cracking up It was so cute!~

Persephone glanced coyly at Ron. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Everyone knows he’s the best. The only complaint I ever have is that sometimes it takes him far too long to make a move.”

“Well, even I know that important things can’t be rushed,” Sean said.

“But other than that, I wouldn’t have anyone else,” Persephone said, blinking demurely at Ron. “He’s the best.”
~I knew I liked Persephone she's one of us Ronlovers! Except well differently cause she actually loves Sean.....~

“Oh--me?!!” Persephone said testily. “And I insist on what, may I ask?”

Sean took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Nothing, nothing...”
~Look here's the signature 'Oh crap i better not get her mad at me' move.~

“Now--before I put you away--isn’t there even one thing that you do like about each other?”
“Well,” Sean said, “when she’s not sniping at me, she’s really rather nice.”
Ron was pleased to see that Persephone was actually smiling a little at Sean. “And sometimes I do enjoy his company--he makes me laugh.”
“All right, then, much better--” Ron said, thinking that would be the end of it.
Sean continued, a grin beginning to widen on his face as he stared at her as well. “And she’s very intelligent and dedicated and well-mannered--she stands up for her people and protects them.”
Persephone was positively beaming up at Sean now. “He’s brave and strong--he’s very loyal to Harry even when he doesn’t think Harry’s making the right move...”
Ron’s brow furrowed as he noticed that they hadn’t yet dropped hands, though the actual ‘shaking’ had stopped some time earlier. What is it with these two? he thought."
~Do you think this particular move might work on Ron and Hermione?~

“Oh...and you...” She waved her finger at him aimlessly and he looked at her with eyebrows arched, trying to figure out what she was playing at before she continued, “...missed a button.”

She said the last few words quickly, then immediately turned and ran up the stairs.
~All I have to say is LoL!~

"Ron looked down and was instantly mortified. Between his not having a chance to finish dressing earlier and the tussle with the chess pieces, only one lone button remained fastened a few inches above his navel. He scrunched his face into an embarrassed grimace and felt it go as hot as if someone had hit him with a Solarburn Charm.

After buttoning all but the top two buttons of his shirt --and checking them twice"
~Wish i could have seen that! Only 1 button! It was actually kinda funny too!~

“Thanks for the vote of confidence--both of you,” Ron said, finally looking at them. “But it doesn’t matter--nothing’s going to change. I know I’m afraid to start anything different when she’s so...touchy and--”

Persephone interrupted him immediately. “You? Afraid to start something? Since when?”

“Persephone, you’re thinking of chess,” Sean scolded. “He believes in himself when it comes to chess--he always wins. But with her? Different game...different rules...different stakes--and a lot more risky.”
~Poor Ron Sean is absoulutatly right in this situation.~

Ron threw his hands up momentarily in exasperation. “I don’t know. Sometimes there are these looks she gives me and I think she wants me to--well...But the very next moment she’s telling me how pathetic I am or criticizing something I do...”
~ I dunno why but this phrase sounded a little Jhonny Castle-ish~

The white queen looked back with a wry little smile. “It’s just the way we are together, I suppose. It’s just part of us when we’re sharing the same board. I’ve already told you some of why I like him the way he is--he’s strong and brave and loyal and honest. He loves his friends and his people; he’d fight for them to the end. But most importantly, Sean thinks with his heart a lot--it’s amazing how much that will pull you through.”
~Awwwwwww So touching!~

“Well, you’re right about that,” Hermione said. “Even the best strategy is wasted until someone’s willing to make the first move.”
~Like another NZ reviwer said I love the way you make Persephone and Sean like Hermione and Ron but not perfectly them it really fits your story.~

I Really enjoyed your story and i hope for a new one soon! Your story Points was my first ever story here at SugarQuill! It'll always be my favorite along with Strategy and all the new stories building in your brain that are yet to come out. Thanks For the great stories NZ!

-Samantha Black
Formerly known as Womenwritesrck

Reviewer: SamanthaDate: 2003-09-03
Reviewid: 50403Chapter: 1
I can't believe I forgot to Review! I'm sorry! I loved your story it was awesome! But i gotta go to Soccer Practice I will give you a long review once i get back and after The O.C. I hope you remember me.

Points of No Return fan,
Now known as: Samantha Black

Reviewer: lizDate: 2003-09-02
Reviewid: 50363Chapter: 1
I really liked this story! Sean and Persephone were similar to Ron and Hermione without being clones. Plus that was an interesting angle on chess pieces...

Reviewer: zsenyaDate: 2003-09-02
Reviewid: 50141Chapter: 1
I'm so glad that you wrote this! I've been hungry for an R/H fix lately, and this hits the spot!

Reviewer: ct_lytsDate: 2003-09-01
Reviewid: 50003Chapter: 1
that was marvelous. absolutely wonderful. i'd even say it was perfect.

Reviewer: NarumiDate: 2003-09-01
Reviewid: 49867Chapter: 1

Reviewer: Mary CarrollDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49701Chapter: 1
I really like the way you wove your story in with the text. The use of the chess pieces was inspired writing. I agree with your view of Ron at this point in the story. I think he will forgive Hermione pretty much anything (except Viktor Krum) and I think he knows what he wants. The names of Sean and Persephone were a nice take on Ron and Hermione. I also liked seeing Ron performing his perfect duties. I knew he would be good! It was also nice to know other Hogwarts students fight besides Harry, Neville, Ron and the Malfoy trio!

Reviewer: MaryJDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49531Chapter: 1
Wonderfull story.... Absolutely! Really creative;... But you could continue... !!

Reviewer: jessssicaDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49527Chapter: 1
cute story. i love it

Reviewer: AllieDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49520Chapter: 1
Wonderful story!

Reviewer: RikaDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49518Chapter: 1
My first piece of post-OotP fanfic, and it was beautiful and perfect. This is that type of fic that I missed after I'd read a lot of what was available before the 5th book came out. I hope to see more like this now with new material.

Reviewer: Kate LynnDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49510Chapter: 1
As always, I adore your writing. I lack the time to give a proper review for all your stories, so I'll start with this one. 8-)

Plot/Overall - I thought this was a great setting. Very original, but so perfect for Ron. The tone throughout the story was nicely kept, a really enjoyable read. Very tightly written, every sentence added to the story and filled in the picture. The chess aspect was a nice frame, fitting the story well.

Rom - as always, IC. You have a nice handle for him, both his strengths and his flaws, which is wonderful to see. I love how you develope him in sublte ways, fleshing him out while maintaining the canon characterization. And also, the wry, amusing but fun tone of the piece just fit in perfectly with his character.

Hermione - was also done very well. I love the nuances you put into thier dialogue, capturing the characters as well as thier situations. Deftly done.

Overall, as usual, I love your writing and look forward to reading and reviewing more. 8-)

-Kate Lynn

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49506Chapter: 1
Wonderful! You did a great job with this piece. I don't think I've laughed so hard while reading a fic in a long time. I'm glad to see you're able to make that transition out of Points, I know it can be hard to move from one project to the next!

Reviewer: Teresina DragonwagonDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49504Chapter: 1
Cute! This was precious--please do a sequel! Especially if it has Sean and Persephone in it, they're hilarious. Maybe they could have a conversation with Hermione!

Reviewer: Hannah LeeDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49488Chapter: 1
Wow! That was so sweet, and it really didn't even need a kiss at the end. Some of the other fluffy stories kind of let the mush block out how the charactors would act, but you balanced them perfectly. Bravo!

Hannah Lee

Reviewer: B. NonymousDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49487Chapter: 1
So good to see you back again! And as always, your R/Hr is just PERFECT, especially your Ron. I wonder, though, if "Weasley is our King", why his chesspiece wouldn't be? :)

I hope to see more from you, including that multi-chaptered story.

Reviewer: KristinaDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49479Chapter: 1
OMG! I loved this. The chess characters were so unique, a great touch. I hope you write more, you're an awesome author!

Reviewer: michele40Date: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49476Chapter: 1
A wonderful missing moment from OotP, NZ! I've loved your work for ages and the feel you have for R & Hr is a delight to read. Thank you for sharing it with us!


Reviewer: trina-kDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49466Chapter: 1
still with the missing...

la... really sweet missing scene...

more of your greqt stories please...

how adorable are the four of them??

Reviewer: Cap JazzDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49465Chapter: 1
This was really great! You're stuff is brilliant!

Reviewer: KatDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49463Chapter: 1
'The silence in the room for the next few minutes felt like it was smothering them all. Ron finally broke it in a barely audible voice.

“Because being friends isn’t --enough--any more.”'

*sighs* Perfect. Just perfect.

Reviewer: LeelaDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49460Chapter: 1
Thoroughly enjoyable read! Thank you!
Loved the chess pieces arguing with each other. :~)

Reviewer: Loriel ErisDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49444Chapter: 1
I loved this! It was very funny in places, but also really quite touching.

Reviewer: dragontacDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49441Chapter: 1
that was soooo good! lol... i loved sean and the queen! such great characters! i wonder if the chess pieces can do that? it would be neat if jk put that in a book

Reviewer: lineDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49440Chapter: 1
perfect :)

write more...

Reviewer: Legally BrunetteDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49431Chapter: 1
This story brought tears to my eyes. It was so beautifully written. My heart ached for Ron and Hermione and it was just a beautiful, touching story. This is the first piece of fan fic post OotP to really hit me hard. I completely love this story with all my heart now- it's just the essence of Ron and Hermione. Thank you so much for writing this story!

Reviewer: dinkaDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49430Chapter: 1
I don't know if I'm allowed to post again, but there was something else I wanted to say.
I noticed you used the word "normalcy" in one of your sentences. I'm sorry to say, but that word doesn't exist... (it's true!) It was erroneously used one time by some Presidential candidate (sometime in 1920, I think) and since then people have been using it. The word, of course, is "normality."

Anyway... hope this posts, I already posted a comment...

[off to read more of Night Zephyr's stuff]

Reviewer: dinkaDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49429Chapter: 1
This story was amazing! The first discourse between the chess pieces was priceless, I don't think I've ever laughed harder. And the queen-knight slash Ron-Hermione thing is ingenious. I never stop marveling when I read your stuff. You are one of the most talented authors that I have had the fortune to come across.
Thank you so much for the chance to read this wonderful story.

Reviewer: ttaDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49426Chapter: 1
Very nice! Persephone and Sean crack me up... I like the whole bit of comparing chess to love... =)

Reviewer: NZ to ReadersDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49421Chapter: 1
Hello all! Wow--you guys were quick! :)) Just for those who are clever enough to check here--remember the symbolism post?

<In a symbolic sense, who would be considered to be 'Ron's queen'? And who would be the first on the list of 'Harry's knights'? Who is beating up whom? (Because she has been throughout the whole bloody book!) NZ-July 4 03>

...And so the layers of chess symbolism began to build--the very ones that I tried to play with here, but they *are* a bit, erm, subtle. I'm hoping I managed to get at least *some* of them across...Ron/Hermione and Sean/Persephone...maybe??? :)

**Faelaern --If you're saying the fic helped, I'm pleased I could take part in helping you feel better! :))

**Rachel -- Thank you for reading and for pointing out some favorite lines--I appreciate it!

** Reyna -- I've always thought the Wizard Chess pieces were pretty kewl--I finally got to play with them myself! :) So you caught on to who 'Ron's queen' symbolized, eh? Good job! Thank you for the lovely compliments and for reading!

**Gretchen -- Thank you for the kind remarks-- I was hoping I could get the Ron/Hermione and Sean/Persephone parallels across, but I didn't want to do it like a Bludger to the side of the head, so I hope it was strong enough to work. In any case, thank you for reading and reviewing!

**RavenSnape--You wonderful person, you!! Thank you so much for recommending my fics! I'm trying to put together another multi-chaptered fic as well, although I don't think it will be quite as long and 'heavy' as 'Points'. Believe me when I say that I had a *really* tough time pulling out of the post-OotP doldrums, too. So you can do it!! Thank you again for your kindness!

** FernWithy --I'm very pleased that you enjoyed my little fic! Thank you for your insightful and generous comments as well. I'm especially glad that you felt Ron was in-character here, because though I felt I had a good handle on Ron's character post-GoF, the change in him in OotP kind of threw me, so I wasn't sure if I could still 'get him across' to the readers. Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

**celestina black -- Thank you, celestina. Yeah, this one wasn't quite as *intense* as 'Points', but hey--that one took a bit out of me, as exhilarating as it was to write it. I never got a chance to respond like this to my last readers of 'Points', but please don't think it was because I wasn't appreciative. You left me some awesomely-written reviews there, and a very nice one here as well. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

** Forgotten Marauder -- I tried to get some of the forums ideas into the story, so I was really pleased when you recognized that. I'm beginning to think I'm better at expressing them this way than in my posts (they'e more fun to play with like this, anyway!). Thank you for the nice remarks--I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

**Jack -- So I finally got one of *your* ideas, eh? :) And here I thought you already had all of the greatest ones locked up and copyrighted (or is it just the way you write them???). I'm sure that if Jack were responding to the "king" question, he'd have some utterly brilliant response about "Weasley Is Our King" or similar, but alas, all you have is me, who thanks you heartily for reading and reviewing. Or could it be that all of the chess kings are simply much too busy counting their recently amassed fortunes while eating an abundance of cake?


Reviewer: LDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49419Chapter: 1
aw, that's just precious!

Reviewer: Jack IchijoujiDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49404Chapter: 1
*scraps story about flirting chess pieces* You beat me to it, curse you? But what about the kings?

Reviewer: Forgotten MarauderDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49399Chapter: 1
I loved it! Brilliant, just brilliant! "“Yeah--basically. But I did try a new move today to get the white queen closer to the black knight-- part of a whole new strategy, I reckon,” Ron said. “It’s been on my mind for a while now--but I was sort of afraid to try it out. Then someone reminded me-- strategy won’t help me until I get it out in the open and actually try it out now, will it?”
Hermione stared up at him as they walked, seeming to wonder why Ron was talking about chess, but making it sound so much as if he was talking about something much more important. “Well, you’re right about that,” Hermione said. “Even the best strategy is wasted until someone’s willing to make the first move."
Ron laughed heartily at how much that sounded like something he’d heard from a little stone queen. Hermione smiled faintly along with him, though she didn’t seem to quite understand what could possibly be so funny.

“You know, there’s no one in the world I’d rather hear that from,” Ron said sincerely, grinning his lopsided grin as the two of them stepped through the entrance to the Great Hall together." I loved the end, but I found the exchange between Ron and the Queen and Knight funny and it had all those thoughts that cross the minds of those at the forums. Perfect!

Reviewer: celestina blackDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49398Chapter: 1
very very very possible
and wow, the chess peices
i love your work. i need to reread Points.... that was so good
i love ron

Reviewer: FernWithyDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49396Chapter: 1
That was WONDERFUL. It was a terrific idea, well-executed, and it slips so naturally into OotP. I'm glad you have Ron understanding what it is he wants, and actually conscious of why he's fighting it. Ron in this piece is well-realized and in character, and I love the way he both listens to the chessmen instinctively and thinks he's a bit crazy to do so.

Reviewer: RavenSnapeDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49395Chapter: 1
I have had the week from h$%#$ll and when I logged on and saw that you had posted something new my heart leaped with joy!!! Thank you so much for something new. I know I'm going to post on my Ancient Prophecy Yahoo Group that you have new short up. I'm almost to two hundred members now, so I'm certain at least fifty or so will come over here screaming with as much joy as I did when I saw this. Most of us have read Points of No Return. I know I've recommended it often to people looking for Ron and Hermione goodness and trust me when I say most of us right now need a boost of good writing. I myself have not touched my story since OOtP. Being AU with an OC, I've found it difficult to get back into the rhythm of things but with this wonderful piece reminding me how much I miss good fic, I realized I really should finish Ancient Prophecy before the end of the year. Thank you again for the boost in my mood and the push in the right direction to write again.


Reviewer: GretchenDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49388Chapter: 1
Sean and Persephone..I love it!! This fic was so cute and just awww. That was KEWL with the chess pieces; Harry and Ron are lucky to have such ROXin ones! I also love the subtle jibe at H/Hr: Sean spoke sincerely. “Well, of course, I’d fight for her to the death--and I often have--but she feels more like a sister to me--not like--”
:D that's perfect! Anyhoo, wonderful fic. I loved it to pieces. (no pun intended there!)

Reviewer: ReynaDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49387Chapter: 1
Wow. I'm in awe. That was GREAT! I loved the chess pieces. They were so cute. And Ron's queen blowing him a kiss? I'm squealing. Your story was very creative and very well done and I wish it really was in the books. Oh and I loved Ron's line to Harry about "here come some happy thoughts now." Priceless. Great job.

Reviewer: RachelDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49386Chapter: 1
WOW, terrific! But I did try a new move today to get the white queen closer to the black knight-- part of a whole new strategy, I reckon,&#8221; Ron said. &#8220;It&#8217;s been on my mind for a while now--but I was sort of afraid to try it out. Then someone reminded me-- strategy won&#8217;t help me until I get it out in the open and actually try it out now, will it?&#8221;--> Great lines!!!

&#8220;You know, there&#8217;s no one in the world I&#8217;d rather hear that from,&#8221; Ron said sincerely, grinning his lopsided grin as the two of them stepped through the entrance to the Great Hall together--> Wonderful!

Reviewer: FaelaernDate: 2003-08-30
Reviewid: 49385Chapter: 1
Well this a cute little fic of the sort I haven't read in a while. They do wonders in curing bad moods. I'm glad you wrote it!

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