|
| Dumbledore's
Army |
|
|
|
Review(s): 2
| Reviewer: Max Zook | Date: 2003-09-04 |
| Reviewid: 50747 | Chapter: 1 |
A fascinating "what if" premise, maybe a bit too complex an idea for the confines of the Challenge word count.
I think you have the writing skill to expand it -- give us dialogue between Luna and Caradog (Caradoc?), and show us a scene between Luna and Remus. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
| Reviewer: Darwin's Apprentice | Date: 2003-09-04 |
| Reviewid: 50670 | Chapter: 1 |
| Nicely done. I am not sure I can buy into Remus and Luna being related, but it could happen. I like the emotion you evoke between Luna and her mother. Giving her lycanthropy does explain her mystical side and her name and her mom's death. Being related to Remus shows why she's bright enough to be a Ravenclaw. But more than the explanations, I like the emotions. You do a good job with those. |
| Report possible abuse to a moderator |
|
|