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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 11

Reviewer: Kitty45Date: 2006-05-11
Reviewid: 142737Chapter: 1
Amazing. I'm an avid reader of Kit's story, and I can't wait to read more! I wish you could publish it...

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-09-05
Reviewid: 131736Chapter: 1
Nice Flash

Reviewer: jasonDate: 2004-01-24
Reviewid: 68301Chapter: 1
finish it its really good

Reviewer: Susan LynnDate: 2003-10-17
Reviewid: 56843Chapter: 1
This is a very impressive piece. I could feel the urgency of Bearach as he desperately raced to notify Hagrid and then convince him of the peril facing Firenze. Hagrid's dialogue is spot-on, and I look forward to reading more about Bearach.

Reviewer: QueenieDate: 2003-09-13
Reviewid: 52165Chapter: 1
Very good piece. I like Bearach's character, and Hagrid's reaction was very realistic. Good job. ~Q

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2003-09-10
Reviewid: 51722Chapter: 1
This is a really good story! I felt like I was running through the Forest myself.

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2003-09-06
Reviewid: 50982Chapter: 1
Wow -- what a treat to read this again. Such a sense of urgency, and some truly amazing lines. The opening two paragraphs are just beautiful:

<<Bearach's breath was sharp and hard, a physical thing struggling to burst from his throat with each heave forward. Brambles snatched at him with clawed fingers, ripping at his flanks. Their cruel points drew blood, streaking the dapple gray of his coat with crimson, but he plunged onward through the thicket, oblivious.

The forest had always been his home, his friend, but today it was his enemy. It fought him, holding him back, slowing him down when he needed to race free and fast, as fast as lightning, as fast a hoof smashing down, as fast as the herd turning on one of their own.>>

I also like the subtle way in which you let us know of Bearach's age and standing among the Centaurs. Great instance of showing, not telling!:

<<If he were bigger, if he were just a few years older and not hemmed in by the awkward gangly legs of a colt, he could fly through these trees.>>

There's a wonderful visual qualityt to lines like this:

<<They wove in and out of trees, the only two entrants in a mad steeplechase.>>

I look forward to seeing more of Bearach! It's refreshing to see that someone beyond Firenze is challenging the misguided traditions of the Centaurs.

~Katinka :)

Reviewer: CorgiDate: 2003-09-03
Reviewid: 50598Chapter: 1
"Bearach's breath was sharp and hard, a physical thing struggling to burst from his throat with each heave forward. Brambles snatched at him with clawed fingers, ripping at his flanks. Their cruel points drew blood, streaking the dapple gray of his coat with crimson, but he plunged onward through the thicket, oblivious."

WOW. What a way to start! Grabs the reader straight away. No wonder Bearach is such a nudge! And it's a good thing the young of both races refuse to hold on to all stifling ways of their elders....

Reviewer: JiminyCDate: 2003-09-01
Reviewid: 49972Chapter: 1
Excellent story! You write Hagrid wonderfully and that's not the easiest of tasks. The dialogue & descriptive writing worked together to make the story feel very real. Great job!

Reviewer: KellieDate: 2003-09-01
Reviewid: 49850Chapter: 1
Me again... I forgot to say that I really liked it. I'm sure you assumed that, but I thought I should make it more plain.

Very enjoyable, and Hagrid's dialect was perfect! The centaur had that formal centaur-speak as well.

Kellie, again.

Reviewer: KellieDate: 2003-09-01
Reviewid: 49849Chapter: 1
Tapestry-

Fast paced, and suspense filled. (Which is no small feat, because we know Firenze lives.) Yet, I still found myself thinking, "Hurry! Run Hagrid. Save him before it's too late!"

Excellent exploration of canon... and the forest. ;) I shall have to read Eshu's Daughter now.

Kellie

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