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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Forbidden Trouble
Review(s): 2

Reviewer: MeghanDate: 2004-01-25
Reviewid: 68404Chapter: 1
I don't have a Sugar Quill Forums name, but I might get one soon. I love Harry/Luna fics, and this is SO GREAT!!! Harry is right on the money, and Luna does seem a little less misty than in the books, but this is from her POV, not someone elses. So this is great!! WRite more, I was so dissappointed when there was only one chapter.

Reviewer: TapestryDate: 2003-09-03
Reviewid: 50454Chapter: 1
This is an interesting premise. There are lots of really good descriptive sentences such as "only the rhythmic sounds of our breathing." I think the dialogue between Harry and Luna felt a bit stiff and formal. I would also have to say that this story is definitely AU as neither Luna nor Harry are acting in character as canon has given them to us. But as a story outside canon it's intresting. Because this story is in first person the reader has a certain expectation that the descriptions and interior monologues will be very personal and informal. I think you made need to consider a few more contractions and look at some of the dialogue sentences as they read a bit awkwardly. Overall this story has a lot of promise. Good job and thanks for sharing it.

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