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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Unmade
Review(s): 20

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-03-23
Reviewid: 141215Chapter: 1
I have read this before but I don’t know if I posted. I quite enjoyed this ficlet both times though.

Reviewer: Erica VeeDate: 2005-08-15
Reviewid: 130053Chapter: 1
Very thought provoking! The way I interpreted it, the Leprachaun knew that if Draco had to make the choice between good and evil, it would "unmake" him, so he "cursed" him into becoming just like his father would want, so he wouldn't have to choose. I hope this is what you wanted to get across! It's a great fic, I really enjoyed it.

Reviewer: Chartreuse BirdDate: 2004-11-12
Reviewid: 104500Chapter: 1
Isn't there any more???! Off to a very good start!

Reviewer: dinkaDate: 2004-01-08
Reviewid: 66201Chapter: 1
ouch, what a cruel trick to play on Malfoy!

This was totally unexpected, and downright creepy (which I think you intended ;) )

This was pretty scary, and I only hope that it won't happen in the books...

Very nice work.

dinka

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-01-05
Reviewid: 65956Chapter: 1
I liked it. The leprechaun made me laugh. You've written him very well! Draco is also nicely in character.

"The way you throw - wouldn’t even be a challenge for Potter!"
Great line!

I also like that Draco is obviously trying to be "above" asking for gold or power, and still becomes "a Malfoy by choice".

Wonderful story!

Reviewer: Paige, The Muggle HermioneDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59413Chapter: 1
Jiminy,
I'm slightly confused... I could (I think) tell that the overall message was about being kind and such, but I have no clue how I got to that conclusion...

Paige, The Muggle Hermione

P.S. Your disclamer made me laugh, thanX!

Reviewer: ZakDate: 2003-10-25
Reviewid: 57827Chapter: 1
The high quality of the fic on Sugar Quill never ceases to amaze me! Well done.

Reviewer: butterbeerDate: 2003-10-20
Reviewid: 57143Chapter: 1
That was an excellent story. Written as though by J.K. Rowling. Interesting....I liked the leprechaun. Now go and repay your cup of sugar!
~butterbeer~

Reviewer: SamDate: 2003-10-19
Reviewid: 57045Chapter: 1
This is a great idea for a fic! I'm really enjoying this!

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2003-10-01
Reviewid: 54983Chapter: 1
Your disclaimer just reminded me that I owe my neighbor two eggs. ;)

Ah! You give us a lot to mull over in such a short space ("Perhaps sometimes the weight of evil is a friendlier companion than the burden of free will.") I really enjoyed the leprechaun's manner of speech and his lyrical admonitions ("A Malfoy by blood, by appearance and voice,
And now, as you’ll have it, a Malfoy by choice" -- succinct and powerful!) Well done -- thanks!

~Katinka

Reviewer: KellieDate: 2003-09-23
Reviewid: 54066Chapter: 1
Poor Draco.

This was a wonderful glimpse of him (and we all know how I feel about the boy). ;) I don't call just any Draco story wonderful. :D

Excellent entry, and congratulations on the Honorable Mention!

Reviewer: SpartinaDate: 2003-09-15
Reviewid: 52766Chapter: 1
I really enjoyed "Unmade"--you did the leprechaun's blend of mischief and wisdom wonderfully. (Although there's at least one thing I can imagine Draco wishing for that he seems not to have thought of--to catch the Snitch whenever he plays Quidditch.) Let me guess--Draco hesitates because he's trying to think of what his father would want him to wish for, and he fails to make a choice because he can't bring himself to articulate something he really needs, like the courage to be something other than his father's creature. So by refusing to make the choice to ask, he's actually made his choice, "forever [to] be as your Da wills it so"--have I guessed right? Is that the curse he calls down on himself?

But I'm still left guessing at a few things. That line in your neat little poem--"To counter a curse that will unmake you too"--this sounds as if the Leprechaun is breaking or blocking or softening a curse, not calling one down. Now, you've said that the leprechaun's curse is not really a curse at all--the true curse is that Draco lacks the courage to choose something different from what he has--but in that case, where did Draco's surge of new-found power come from? That would suggest that he had been rewarded for somehow making a sort of pact with evil--but wouldn't that require some affirmative statement of intent? Of course, refusing to make a choice can lead you down the path of evil as surely as declaring "Evil, be thou my good." But Draco's refusal to choose seems inadequate to make the leprechaun's curse (which ostensibly has no power) effectual.

Still, a beautifully-told and thought-provoking story. And since you're plain "JiminyC," not "zzzFFJiminyC, does that mean we'll see more of your stuff here? I'm looking forward to it.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2003-09-12
Reviewid: 52112Chapter: 1
[It was not the Snitch. It was, however, extremely agitated and rather loud.] He he! Like the dry humor.

[Perhaps sometimes the weight of evil is a friendlier companion than the burden of free will.] Excellent line and very clever expression.

This was really a very imaginative piece. Magical and yet with a good lesson. You write leprechauns so well. A real treat to read!

Reviewer: SarahDate: 2003-09-03
Reviewid: 50540Chapter: 1
Yay Chris! I got it! I actually heard your voice reading the leprechaun part in my head. Fabulous short story. Can't wait to read your chaptered one!

Reviewer: R1&R2Date: 2003-09-01
Reviewid: 50084Chapter: 1
You really did a great job capturing Draco's arrogant sense of self-worth and his short-sigtedness when it comes to anything other than wealth and power. He's one of those hateful people who can't be told anything. Congrats on the honorable mention!

Reviewer: AshturDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49746Chapter: 1
I like it. Malfoy totally blinded by what he has, refuses to understand what he truly needs. That is more curse than anyone could ever cast.

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49719Chapter: 1
Hey, now this is a neat one. I'm really very impressed, particularly by the leprechaun's "song". It's true, that Draco would never think to ask for anything he's not already been given, while he lives unsatisfied with what he has.

Reviewer: JennyDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49698Chapter: 1
Totally awesome Mom!

I knew you would do well!

Reviewer: TapestryDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49646Chapter: 1
Very original, I thought the dialogue was very nicely done. There is such truth in this line that it fairly steals a person's breath: "Perhaps sometimes the weight of evil is a friendlier companion than the burden of free will." Wonderful job and I hope that you will soon have other stories archived on the Quill, congrats on your honorary mention!

Reviewer: Talking Purple RabbitsDate: 2003-08-31
Reviewid: 49584Chapter: 1
it seemed good, but left me confused.

I didn't quite get what the leprachaun's poem meant, pretty as it was.

Something about a curse, which didn't really exist, but there was something with the power of free will?

hmm...maybe I'll come back and read this again later to try and understand it better.

(oh, and by the way, I loved your disclaimer. ;)

ta,
~TPR

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