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Army |
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Review(s): 47
| Reviewer: Geena Waters | Date: 2005-06-13 |
| Reviewid: 123931 | Chapter: 1 |
That was so cool. I had no idea who it was until the very end...which I'm sure was your point. Usually I'm pretty good at guessing things, at least when I take a little time to figure it out. I think I was along the lines of Wormtail...someone who would know the house and stuff. Anyway, this was good I liked it a lot!!
~GW |
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| Reviewer: Sarah | Date: 2005-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 110260 | Chapter: 1 |
| Awww, your last sentence said it all! I sure hope it's not the last time... It's very sad that he feels like such an intruder he has to sneak into the house. This is a very interesting story from Percy's point of view. Thanks for writing it! |
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| Reviewer: Plancks | Date: 2004-12-19 |
| Reviewid: 108118 | Chapter: 1 |
| hahahahahhahahah... very niiiice!! hahahhahah... I knew it was him... hope he´ll stop being a jerk. |
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| Reviewer: Ditsy as a Blonde | Date: 2004-11-13 |
| Reviewid: 104704 | Chapter: 1 |
Awwwww, that is so sad. Just so sad... Poor Percy, I feel so sorry for him now.
~Ditsy as a Blonde |
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| Reviewer: Andrea13 | Date: 2004-10-27 |
| Reviewid: 102717 | Chapter: 1 |
| Oh! Yay! When I figured out it was Percy, I was afraid this was going to turn into a mean "Evil Percy" fic, but you had a nice little twist at the end instead. :) I liked the air of resigned loss around Percy. Poor guy. *hugs* |
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| Reviewer: taeda | Date: 2004-10-27 |
| Reviewid: 102642 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very clever! I figured it out a sentence or two before the reveal, and that made me feel really smart because the misdirection was so well laid. |
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| Reviewer: jill | Date: 2004-10-26 |
| Reviewid: 102435 | Chapter: 1 |
| wow for some reason that really touched me. that story really shows a side of percy that would definitely be there. good job |
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| Reviewer: DazedMarauder | Date: 2004-10-11 |
| Reviewid: 101013 | Chapter: 1 |
haha, Percy got his sweater! I was thinking that it was Malfoy (Sr.) or something like that, and they were going to try to get either Harry or Ginny!!! Fantatically written, very nice plot twist btw!
◙ amanda ◙ |
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| Reviewer: Hannah | Date: 2004-10-10 |
| Reviewid: 100977 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was really, really good. I liked the idea of Percy taking back his sweater, but being too proud to actually ask for it. |
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| Reviewer: Emerald | Date: 2004-06-14 |
| Reviewid: 87103 | Chapter: 1 |
| Thatw as very good. It took me till I was a third of the way through to realize who was stealing into the Burrow in th middle of the night. I'm guessing this is positioned the night Arthur was attacked? |
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| Reviewer: July 31 | Date: 2004-06-06 |
| Reviewid: 86122 | Chapter: 1 |
Amazing! But soooo sad! It made me close to tears, you have a way with words! I was suspecting a Death Eater the whole story, and then it was Percy! :'( I'd write a longer review, but I;m off to see Harry Potter 3 for the second time this weekend!
Good job! |
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| Reviewer: Emma | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85156 | Chapter: 1 |
Aw, I adored this! Very well-written, and very nice twist at the end. :) You did a good job of building the suspense with the descriptive words used to describe the intruder, and I loved the wall of photos!! :(
Brilliant. :D |
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| Reviewer: Jules | Date: 2004-05-28 |
| Reviewid: 85027 | Chapter: 1 |
Oh, man. Whatever I was expecting, I wasn't expecting that from the ending. :D
Fantastic story - the suspense was great, and the desire to scroll down to the bottom to find out who was speaking was incredible. I really loved the twist, and ... I can definitely see Percy doing that. :) He's been a fool, but I don't think he could forget his family.
Great, original story :D In fact, I might just go and read it again :D
xxx |
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| Reviewer: Mask | Date: 2003-12-19 |
| Reviewid: 63990 | Chapter: 1 |
Your writting truly is top notch. I've read both your fics and in very different styles you have managed to catch character and emotion. Excellent work I hope to read more of your work in upcoming months.
I felt Percy's sending back of the Jumper was the harshest thing he did in OOTP even including his fight with his father and letter to Ron. I think this is a lovely fic because it offers a hope for a Percy reclaimed. I think it may well be too hard for him to openly admit he was wrong and seek direct reconcilliation. To sneak in and show it in a subtle way seems oddly more Percy like. Thanks for the fic.
Mask |
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| Reviewer: Starlight | Date: 2003-12-19 |
| Reviewid: 63962 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow, that was so good. so well-written. i kept trying to guess how it would end but i was so surprised by the ending. bravo! wonderfully cute! |
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| Reviewer: Lady Norbert | Date: 2003-12-17 |
| Reviewid: 63719 | Chapter: 1 |
| I was about halfway through the story when I realized who the intruder was. Excessively clever piece of writing, this. My sincere congratulations on a brilliant bit of work. |
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| Reviewer: Fleur | Date: 2003-12-15 |
| Reviewid: 63339 | Chapter: 1 |
I loved it! The twist at the end was amazing and I just...loved it. If I weren't so tired I would prasie you more, but as it is...
Well, great story!
Fleur |
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| Reviewer: Katie Bell | Date: 2003-12-15 |
| Reviewid: 63293 | Chapter: 1 |
Congrats at making Professor's Bookshelf on your first story!
This was a great read....I realized it was Percy when he got to the photographs...
THE SWEATER!! LOL! I knew he'd want it! Who wouldn't want a Weasley sweater?
I also liked your other story "Loose Ends". It was very funny!
Nice Job!
~~Katie Bell
My stuff was accepted too! Can't wait to post! |
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| Reviewer: Amberdulen | Date: 2003-09-26 |
| Reviewid: 54463 | Chapter: 1 |
| One more thing. "All he had now was a cauldron of ashes" ... but at least the cauldron bottom was of regulation-quality thickness. :-) |
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| Reviewer: Paige Knorr (The Muggle Hermione) | Date: 2003-09-16 |
| Reviewid: 53041 | Chapter: 1 |
Dear Amiable Dorsai,
WOW! I think I guessed it was Percy when he was thinking about his love at the picture wall... Ya, that would've been it. Very good... And Professor's Bookshelf on your first story, AMAZING. I got accepted too... :) but I'm sure mine won't get up there. Great job!
Paige, The Muggle Hermione |
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| Reviewer: Chris | Date: 2003-09-16 |
| Reviewid: 52944 | Chapter: 1 |
Aw, that was a great ending. I suspected the identity of the intruder, but was quite surprised by his target. Oh, it would make me so happy for him to do this...the fact that he sent it back in OotP made me sob.
"Woolgathering, hah, he smiled grimly to himself. He had made a joke."
Great humor moment here - and having him think that he had make a joke is very in character for Percy.
Wonderful story!! |
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| Reviewer: alchemilla | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52741 | Chapter: 1 |
Excellent writing in so many ways. Your descriptions of the house, the astute comments about Arthur.
And you mimicked Percy's 'voice' so well. I knew it wasn't a hardened Death Eater by his little comments about Apparating.
I began to suspect it might be Percy somewhere in there, maybe when you wrote something like: 'what if the furniture had been rearranged'. Then I read with real scrutiny, looking for more clues. It was brilliant and heartbreaking (The sweater! -sob!).
Loved it. --alchemilla |
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| Reviewer: Aquilla | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52726 | Chapter: 1 |
| Hey, that was really cool. I guessed it was Percy when he used the word 'beaurocrat' but I didn't know what he was after... very sneaky. Well done. I liked it. |
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| Reviewer: Riah-chan | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52720 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was so sweet! But so sad too! It didn't take me long to realize it was Percy... |
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| Reviewer: Rehan | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52701 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow! That was awesome! I love how you left the little clues in there that pointed out it would be Percy coming in to get his sweater, like the line about "woolgathering" and the intruder wondering if the furniture was out of place. Well done, please write more. |
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| Reviewer: Megan | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52700 | Chapter: 1 |
| :sniff: *tear* I loved it! I knew it was gonna be Percy when all the pictures started showing up!! I was like, its PERCY!!!!! |
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| Reviewer: ilene | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52671 | Chapter: 1 |
| Oh, my. You almost made me cry! :( At first I did think it was some Death Eater, but around the time the Weasley family pictures were mentioned, I started suspecting it was Percy, and the "He had made a joke. Wouldn’t they be surprised if they knew?" part sealed it. But I still wasn't sure why he was sneaking around the Burrow, until the end. It also seems that the whole family is probably at Grimmauld Place or some other Order-related location for the summer after sixth year, and, of course, Percy has no idea. This was very bittersweet...it seems that Percy assumed Molly won't even notice the sweater is missing. :( But it does hold out some hope for Percy's redemption. |
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| Reviewer: Katinka | Date: 2003-09-15 |
| Reviewid: 52647 | Chapter: 1 |
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful story. Oh, I'm in tears. Percy...
I'm amazed at how you include every glance, every movement, and yet the story moves along at such a smooth, crisp pace. Wonderful moments of introspection, too:
<<His own life, the life he had so carefully, so painstakingly built, had been turned upside down. He had never expected He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to ever return. Neither had his associates, for all they now claimed otherwise. Arthur Weasley had known, though. Oh yes, he had.>>
and...
<<Back to his mission, woolgathering was no use: get in, get the target, get out. That was the way. Woolgathering, hah, he smiled grimly to himself. He had made a joke. Wouldn’t they be surprised if they knew?>>
A poignant reminder that regardless of family connection, the Weasleys still have much to learn about one another.
But he WILL come back again, won't he? Please? *worries*
One technical note -- JKR seems to use capitals for her spells, so it would be "Featherweight Charm" and "Silencing Charm".
A beautiful vignette -- thank you.
~Katinka |
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| Reviewer: Yolanda | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52569 | Chapter: 1 |
| Ilove the way you kept the reader in the dark until we saw the wall of pictures. You do a great job with Percy. I'm glad you included his thoughts. The end is very touching. Even though it's sad, there seems to be some hope for the future. Great story--and so much emotion into a short story. Thanks. |
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| Reviewer: Waywren Truesong | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52567 | Chapter: 1 |
You... you... YOU.... oooooooh!
*cackles* You really had me going.
This is hilarious. ^^ |
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| Reviewer: Margaret B. | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52484 | Chapter: 1 |
Wow! That was so good, I couldn't guess who it was till the very end, really suspenseful! I love how you didn't tell us who it was until the very last sentence. This was really descriptive, well written, and a great outlook on the weasleys from a different point of view. I look forward to seeing more of your writing in the near future!
Keep it up!
~Margaret |
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| Reviewer: Fawkes101 | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52481 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is very good! I liked how you weren't sure of who it was until the end... great suspense |
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| Reviewer: sproutgirl | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52463 | Chapter: 1 |
Oh! I almost cried when I realized he was after the sweater.
How touching. How could you? I'm trying really hard not to
like Percy anymore. Well, you blew that righ out of the water.
Really, very well done. |
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| Reviewer: Birgit | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52462 | Chapter: 1 |
| Brilliant story! I never expected the end, although I thought in the beginning that the Death Eater who was telling the story wasn't sounding much like a Death Eater :) |
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| Reviewer: Ashtur | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52455 | Chapter: 1 |
Poor Percy
All of that and still misreading the family :(
Great story though, had no idea who it was until most of the way though, and never imagined his "target" |
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| Reviewer: oybolshoi | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52454 | Chapter: 1 |
| well written - great tension. Although I suspected this was Percy fairly early on, I didn't think that "the target" was his Christmas sweater. That was a wonderful touch - a pleasant surprise that makes me think there may still be hope for Percy. |
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| Reviewer: Fluffy_Rose | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52435 | Chapter: 1 |
Aww! That was excellent, really good.
I loved the way you weren't quite sure who it was until the end, and the "hooded black cloak" certainly threw you off the scent. I was thinking it was a Death Eater! Silly me!
Anyway, I thought it was written really well and was humorous in its own way - I especially liked:
<<"He had made a joke. Wouldn't they be surprised if they knew?">>
Hehe!
Good job!
Fluffy_Rose |
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| Reviewer: Blue Kelpie | Date: 2003-09-14 |
| Reviewid: 52432 | Chapter: 1 |
Oh poor officious Percy, lovely twist at the end! :) Very well written little ficlet. The first of many, perhaps? I hope so. :)
Kelpie |
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