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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: A Very Harry Cliche
Review(s): 196

Reviewer: JayyDate: 2006-03-06
Reviewid: 140593Chapter: 3
Thank you! You've put in most, if not all of the improbabilities that FF is full of and that annoy me so much. I had to laugh numerous times throughout the fic.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-03-03
Reviewid: 140445Chapter: 3
Respectfully Submitted!? You two are obviously residents of the same asylum where Jack Ichijouji is contained. Possibly even the same ward. And thanks for permitting us enjoy your demen story.

Reviewer: LavenderDate: 2005-11-05
Reviewid: 135699Chapter: 1
As soon as I saw that Mary Sue's last name was Drew, I thought of Nancy Drew, and the knocking on walls made it certain for me. Do I win the convertible and the date with Ned Nickerson? And can I trade it in for a date with someone else? Like Ron? Although fanfiction Ron is not exactly ROXIN my SOX with his perennially stupid staring at the pretty girl thing. Fanfiction Draco or Snape would be much sexier.

Okay, to get to the point, this is hilarious. This is exactly the kind of parody I love. I'm able to appreciate it despite the fact that I don't actually read that much crappy fanfiction. Everything is perfect, the physical descriptions, the relationships, the fact that Hermione has to do homework despite the fact it's not due for a month...I can't wait to keep on reading. You two are great. My only complaint is that the font is kind of tiny, but for this fic, I'll struggle through it.

Reviewer: blackfaerie11Date: 2005-08-17
Reviewid: 130157Chapter: 1
HAHAHAHA! That was very amusing! Also creative for mixing the real and ficticious worlds after a fashion! lol!

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-07-27
Reviewid: 127981Chapter: 3
It is very late here, and I actually woke my mother up laughing hysterically. Random giggles are still escaping me as I type this. "Brilliant!" I haven't read anything so entertaining in a long time.

Reviewer: AmbereenDate: 2005-07-23
Reviewid: 127675Chapter: 3
Fantastic. Not a cliche missed!

Reviewer: Lynn GirlDate: 2005-06-03
Reviewid: 123263Chapter: 3
This story had me cracking up so bad! I was actually supposed to be doing an English paper, but I read this instead. I started dying on the part where people kept walking past the reindeer and it kept skipping *Rudolph the-Rudolph the-Rudolph the-* I hated that Mary Sue chick and sensitive/in touch with his feelings Ron was so random.
My Favorite parts~>
*She jumped to her feet, and snapped, in a spunky manner, "Well fine! If you're all just going to ignore me, then I'm leaving!" When no one answered her, Ginny burst into tears and ran to the portrait hole, her hair a ribbon of flame behind her. (Literally, as the Ace of Diamonds, entangled in her tresses, was still smoldering.)*

*Malfoy pinned her between the wall and his body. "You know you find me secretly attractive, Ginny, in spite of my cold, cruel cynicism. You're such a sweet, innocent girl who is younger and poorer than I. I am a richer, more powerful, impossibly handsome man, with a drawling voice and a sardonic eye, who is supposed to be hopelessly out of your reach. We, Ginny, are the stuff Mills & Boon built a publishing empire on! There are millions of women around the world who would gladly slap down $4.95, (or its equivalent in pounds or euros) to read about us, so don't tell me we can't do this." He kissed her again. And again, and again. They came dangerously close to snogging, but fortunately, the authors faded out the scene before they were forced to write that word into it. Instead, the authors choose to tell you that Draco kissed Ginny "in a passionate, yet respectful manner." For a very, very long time.*

((I love that part cuz I'm all for Ginny/Draco, but that whole scene with them is SOO what everyone writes in their fan fictions about them. And it was so convenient that he was in the hallway to comfort her))

*As each person passed through the door, a battery-activated reindeer was supposed to break out singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." The trouble was, so many people were coming through the door at once, that the figure had stuck, and was burping out, "Rudolph the-Rudolph the-Rudolph the-" over and over and over again.*

((ROTFLMAO!!!)

*"I love you. I really have to use the loo."

"Oh. Right. Hurry back then, and we can fall asleep in each others’ arms before daybreak." *

((wow.. perfect Ginny/Harry moment lmao))

*Hermione looked up from her work and eyed him coldly. "If you mean the rumor that Harry is pregnant by Hedwig, then I can tell you right now, Neville, it’s a load of rubbish. You shouldn’t listen to gossip anyway."

Neville looked taken aback. "Oh. I hadn’t heard that rumor. I was talking about the one where Malfoy is pregnant, and Hagrid is the father." He paused, considering. "How does that work, anyway?"*

((w....t....h))

*Mary Sue looked wounded. "’Mione, what have I done to offend you?"

"Well, for starters, you’re calling me by that stupid name! Who said you could give me a nickname? I hate nicknames!"

"’Mione, I understand you‘re upset--" began Mary Sue, but Hermione interrupted.

"There! There, you did it again! Stop calling me ’’Mione!’ The name is Hermione. Her-MY-oh-nee. I mean, you’re not even shortening it all that much, for crying out loud! How much harder is it to add the extra syllable and CALL ME BY MY REAL NAME?" *

((I hate that "Mione" nickname!! It's so annoying when I see it all over fanfictions. ))

and last but not least~>

*"Trust me Ron, you get the girl of your dreams in the end," she said quietly. "You just don’t know who she is yet." And Hermione Granger smiled a very satisfied smile.*

((I LOVE Hermione/Ron relationships. It was just the perfect way to end it))

In all, brilliant and thanks for the laugh and delay of my english paper. This fanfic ROXS my SOXS off.. :-D

Reviewer: NatashaDate: 2005-05-13
Reviewid: 122035Chapter: 1
Lmao..this is hilarious.

Reviewer: ReesesPiecesDate: 2005-04-24
Reviewid: 120436Chapter: 3
Easily the most awesome parody I've ever read. I laughed so hard, in fact, that the windows of the office in which I'm currently sitting have shattered from the hyena-like shrieks. Thank you.

Reviewer: GinDate: 2005-04-22
Reviewid: 120353Chapter: 1
oh my, Nancy Drew has invaded fanfiction! Aaaah! Hehe, that was all so...true. Unfortunately. Oh man, too funny!

Reviewer: merlynDate: 2005-04-03
Reviewid: 118551Chapter: 3
*snorts* That was awful. Wonderfully awful. I nearly laughed myself sick.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-03-04
Reviewid: 115480Chapter: 3
This was funny- as ever. I liked the Harry and Ginny getting together scene. And I must say kudos to Ginny and Hermione. That Sue girl was bloody irritating- and useless. She didn't even find out what the word was ::rolls eyes::. Siriusly I think you have the ability of all great parody- ists to keep characters in character even when their very out of character- if you see what I mean. Thanks for making me laugh (a lot)!

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-03-04
Reviewid: 115476Chapter: 2
<He was suddenly consumed with a burning desire to take a bite out of her coif. With an effort, he quelled this unseemly burst of passion and hoped no one noticed how his stomach was growling. >

This is hilarious. Poor suffering Harry. And Ginny of course. She gets stepped on by Mary Sue *and* is almost- raped by Draco Malfoy? Fanfiction is a terrible place *shakes head*

I loved the part about our own Pale and Interesting Lupin... and Hermione wondering if he had hair implants lol. Not to mention her sudden urge to bear Snape children...

I must also confess I am on Mary Sue's side here.... what *is* the word Cap'n Kathy hates?

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-03-03
Reviewid: 115347Chapter: 1
This is... is.... funny is too weak a word. A very intelligent and amusing parody, she says sedately, trying to hold back a maniacal giggle.

<Ron raised his hand. "I'd like to discuss how I'm feeling. And what my emotional needs are. Harry--"

But Harry was on his feet, yanking Ron by the arm. "This is no time to start being 'needs-n-feelings!Ron,'" he declared. "We have flying to do.

He pulled Ron toward the door, while Ron protested, "Harry, I need a hug! Can't we just do a group hug before we go?"
">

Oh no! It's intouchwithhisfeelings!Ron. Run for the hills!

<Ariel swallowed hard and tried not to show how his words had cut her. She knew that deep inside he was a man of latent passions and tender heart, who was always kind to woodland creatures and small children>

Ain't it the truth? This is just.. wonderful. I wish I didn't have to go work now, I wanna read the next chapter *pouts like a Mary Sue*

Reviewer: GinnyDate: 2005-03-02
Reviewid: 115304Chapter: 3
One word: AWESOME!!

Reviewer: silverstagDate: 2005-02-21
Reviewid: 114535Chapter: 3
i laughed myself to tears! really brilliant!

Reviewer: jettaDate: 2005-02-20
Reviewid: 114496Chapter: 3
Nancy Drew. And nice fanfic, btw.

Reviewer: Mr Flying FingersDate: 2005-01-27
Reviewid: 112221Chapter: 1
Hmmm. . .just playing hooky here when I really should be polishing my story.

Too. Freakin'. Funny.

"boiled ham" indeed.

Reviewer: LeeDate: 2005-01-23
Reviewid: 111844Chapter: 3
I read this a long time ago and didn't really get it until I read some of those cliched (sp?) fics, like Snape falling for the new DADA professor, the OC character like Mary Sue/ Nancy Drew- the end was soooooo funny!, Aragorn!Snape, Malfoy/Ginny, Ron and Harry somehow growing 5 inches over the summer, and so much more. This was so, so hilarious!! :D

Reviewer: MichelleDate: 2005-01-22
Reviewid: 111788Chapter: 3
Excellent! God Love those Mary Sue's! Some parts made me Laugh out loud, good job!

Reviewer: Fab4MumDate: 2005-01-22
Reviewid: 111743Chapter: 3
I learned a very valuable lesson just now. Never eat a Classic Chicken Burrito from El Pollo Loco while reading ivy & Gracie's fanfic on cliches. This is so well done, and I laughed so hard. Just ask my family who smiled politely while I tried to read them portions of it while tears filled my eyes and I could barely breathe. Wait, that makes ME a cliche, too. A good percentage of my laughter was due to recognizing my own writing in many of your cliches. So before this review turns into a novel of its own, thanks for the great read. In order to write a good cliche, you gotta be good at the art of writing in the first place.

Reviewer: GryfnyDate: 2004-12-03
Reviewid: 106764Chapter: 3
Hi ivy&Gracie.
I don't really have anything to say about the fic except that I really liked it, seeing all those fanfiction cliche's written out.

Reviewer: GinnyDate: 2004-11-10
Reviewid: 104212Chapter: 1
Um, confusing...and...weird. 0.o It was good, but you lost me with the last part.....too much confusion and nonsense. o.0

Reviewer: AnneDate: 2004-11-10
Reviewid: 104098Chapter: 1
The *real* Ned Nickerson? Has Nancy Drew been holding out on us?! :)

This really had me cracking up, though - keep up the great work!

Reviewer: fisheyDate: 2004-10-29
Reviewid: 102903Chapter: 3
i thought this was really funny and it made me go ha ha.

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-10-28
Reviewid: 102807Chapter: 3
Hah hah ah hah ha!!! That was interesting. I'm glad that you had that little moment with Harry and Ginny....and that little hint of a moment with Ron and Hermione, lol. :P

*Geena

Reviewer: DoxyDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102087Chapter: 1
is it Nancy Drew?

Reviewer: ryoroowDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102053Chapter: 1
this is the greatest, funniest fan fiction of all time! you are very talented.

Reviewer: mattDate: 2004-09-24
Reviewid: 99268Chapter: 3
hahahahahahaha i havent laughed that hard in a loong time...great job!

Reviewer: WhiteWolfDate: 2004-08-22
Reviewid: 98262Chapter: 3
Fantastic and absolutely hillarious!

Reviewer: SleuthDate: 2004-08-20
Reviewid: 97999Chapter: 1
Nancy Drew!!! (daughter of carson drew!)

Reviewer: Clinton CrawfordDate: 2004-08-12
Reviewid: 96874Chapter: 3
Great! Its about damn time someone made fun of all the poorly written, cliche-laden fics that are out there :P

CCC

Reviewer: no name just a numberDate: 2004-08-09
Reviewid: 96523Chapter: 3
Zipadee doo dah!!! Mary Sue is dead!!!! At least for a little while. I would like to thank you for the extremely entertaining mental images, particulalry those to do with Harry eating Hermione's hair. You may not believe it, I find it hard to belive myself, but I really can imagine people eating each other's hair and it's a very amusing picture (in my head at least)

Reviewer: BeckyDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94311Chapter: 3
Best. Parody. Ever. From edible hair to our favorite American sleuth, it was just priceless.

Reviewer: Jessica R VanceDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94280Chapter: 3
::loud applause:: Quite fantastic. Many many congratulations to you!

Reviewer: Jessica R VanceDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94278Chapter: 2
MEMORY! Yes!!! On to The End!

Reviewer: Jessica R VanceDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94276Chapter: 1
XD!!! QUITE accurate. I love it!

Reviewer: xiaoxiaoDate: 2004-07-21
Reviewid: 93385Chapter: 3
I adore you! This was hilarious. I especially enjoyed all of the food references. Breaded!Ginny is new to me, I confess, but perhaps another fic can be written about that situation.

Reviewer: xiaoxiaoDate: 2004-07-21
Reviewid: 93383Chapter: 2
Ron using "I" statements--HAH! This is a brilliantly funny fic. Off to read the ending...

Reviewer: oooofunDate: 2004-07-06
Reviewid: 90855Chapter: 3
that was great! Very... undiscribable!

Reviewer: SevenDiamondsDate: 2004-07-05
Reviewid: 90692Chapter: 3
It's official. I love your style. Well-written parodies are so enjoyable. There are so many things that can be so over-done and over-dumb in parodies, and yet you seem to have a fine hold.

For one, your parody is original. ORIGINAL. That's very rare and very welcome to see. Second, the dialogue is superb. And the humor is just right not to be over done, but still humorous enough to get me laughing out loud. Well done :)

4*/5*

Reviewer: louisaDate: 2004-07-04
Reviewid: 90579Chapter: 3
This is SO funny! I love the image of flamingo snape and his lady love the yak! Spot on.

Reviewer: Cat FeralDate: 2004-06-30
Reviewid: 89613Chapter: 3
I got a good laugh out of this! The one thing I wish you'd added was something where McGonagall wandered out of the room muttering "Now I've got to let my hair down and suddenly become the most ravishing creature anyone's seen and seduce Albus, Severus, Remus, Sirius -- even though he's dead -- Hagrid and, oh yes, Xiomara! Morgan's Blood, I'm going to be exhausted!" or some such. Don't leave out my Minnie!

Reviewer: KiokiDate: 2004-06-29
Reviewid: 89430Chapter: 1
Oh, this story is /brilliant/. I couldn't stop laughing (and at the same time feeling horribly, horribly sick) at all the cliches. *applauds*

Reviewer: Jade SabreDate: 2004-06-24
Reviewid: 88703Chapter: 3
Unfortunately, my babysitting charge is asleep, otherwise I'd've been rolling on the floor with laughter. A gem of a cliche fic. (The real irony is that now writing fics about fanfiction cliches is turning into a cliche itself. But they're usually better than the cliches they're written about...ah, irony. Delicious.) An excellent bit of work. Truly enjoyed it.

Reviewer: AshendenDate: 2004-06-22
Reviewid: 88224Chapter: 1
Hilarious! absolutely and side-splittingly hilarious!!! please,please do one on the cliches abounding in the fics that deal with the MWPP era.

Reviewer: dfgDate: 2004-06-17
Reviewid: 87566Chapter: 3
I LVOED IT! GInny's full name is Ginevra, J.K Rowling siad so on her site.

Reviewer: NicDate: 2004-06-16
Reviewid: 87416Chapter: 3
Sorry, I couldn't resist telling you how much I laughed at the Reindeer heads at the entrance of the Yule Ball that got stuck whilst singing 'Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer'. That image was priceless.

Reviewer: NicDate: 2004-06-16
Reviewid: 87415Chapter: 3
That was fantastic; genius! So many witty lines and such great dialogue. Every time I read fanfiction now, I will smile to myself when I come across something that you mentioned in this fic.

It was a great piece to read.

Reviewer: EchoDate: 2004-06-16
Reviewid: 87395Chapter: 3
Great story guys! Absolutely hilarious, I loved it!

-Echo

Reviewer: Deborah PetersDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87250Chapter: 3
I love you. My day has been made--and I don't think I've laughed as hard at a fanfic as when Snape turned into a flamingo.

Reviewer: DillybeanDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87149Chapter: 2
*Dies laughing* I'm not even finished reading this story yet, but I just had to comment on it. This is one of the funniest stories I've read here at the SQ...Ron singing karaoke and Harry wanting to eat Hermione's hair. LOL! *Falls over and resumes laughing*

Reviewer: Newbia The ElfDate: 2004-06-10
Reviewid: 86632Chapter: 3
Hilarious! The only problem is now you've reminded me that I don't know the word that Cap'n Kathy hates, so it's driving me insane.

Reviewer: kendellDate: 2004-06-07
Reviewid: 86167Chapter: 3
that was so outrageously on target. i've never read a parody that hit as many points, and yet, this still managed to hit them 100% effectively. for some reason, i especially enjoyed the part about lupin's endlessly greying hair. it also brought back painful memories of a certain ravingly mary-sue-ish fic i was responsible for in 7th grade.

absolutely marvelous.

erm, if you're wondering where i came from, the link was dropped in my blog as a comment. thank you, by the way.

Reviewer: CassoDate: 2004-05-26
Reviewid: 84564Chapter: 1
Brill. In fact, brill BEYOND brill. I'm laughing my pants off over here.
And who doesn't love good old Nancy Drew?

Reviewer: KateDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84447Chapter: 3
Arrrg! Arrrg! It's so true... You've written this so well that in some parts I even wanted to throw up. You have captured the essence of all those terrible (and some of the fun) cliches in fanfiction. I laughed and cringed (and nearly threw up). I loved the end (yay for Hermione and Ginny!) and I especially loved how hungry Harry kept getting. I sure if I went to a particular fanfiction site (mentioning no names, ff.net) I could find numerous fics curiously like this one, yet lacking what made this such a enjoyable fic... A sense of humour!

Reviewer: RaeDate: 2004-05-21
Reviewid: 83875Chapter: 3
*Mass of applause*

I'm now using this as an educational piece for anyone that is starting in Harry Potter fanfiction. It's a gem

Reviewer: Jennifer SaulsDate: 2004-05-21
Reviewid: 83873Chapter: 1
Hilarious!! The very best part?

"She jumped to her feet, and snapped, in a spunky manner, "Well fine! If you're all just going to ignore me, then I'm leaving!" When no one answered her, Ginny burst into tears and ran to the portrait hole, her hair a ribbon of flame behind her. (Literally, as the Ace of Diamonds, entangled in her tresses, was still smoldering.)"

I am literally dying! And Ofe course I recognized Mary Sue! But where are Bess and George??? ;)

Reviewer: July 31Date: 2004-04-21
Reviewid: 79656Chapter: 3
ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! This has to have been one of the funniest parodies that i've ever read! I usually copy & paste my favorite parts in, but there were just too many! Awesome job, you guys! Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: MelodieDate: 2004-04-18
Reviewid: 79274Chapter: 3
This was hilarious! Thank you so much for a good laugh.

Reviewer: MerusaDate: 2004-04-16
Reviewid: 79013Chapter: 3
*clears throat* A review in honor of fanfiction cliches:

like OMGOMGOMG that was like so totally RADICAL! I like cannot believe how good you are with these chars! Like O-M-G the H/G was just too sweet! Youre ideas were like TOO ORIGINAL TO BE ORIGINAL! like update before i DIE!

*clears throat* thank you. I've always wanted to do that.

Reviewer: KathyDate: 2004-04-05
Reviewid: 77318Chapter: 3
LOL, this was very funny and great work! Keep it up!

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-03-26
Reviewid: 75946Chapter: 3
Great! Really great! And of course I read this when my sister was sleeping and I wasn't supposed to LOL. Can really take the fun out of things, you know...

Reviewer: pirateloverDate: 2004-03-06
Reviewid: 73314Chapter: 3
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
this was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I liked AragornSnape, Nancy Drew, hungryhungryharry, Pale and Interesting Lupin, Kareoke Ron, and the end:

"Help!" cried Mary Sue, who was an excellent swimmer but nevertheless, had never encountered anything like the arm of the giant squid that was wrapping around her, pulling her under. Harry and Ron watched in horror, Hermione and Ginny in satisfaction, as the girl surfaced, just once, in time to cry, "I’ll be back! It’s been fun to match wits with you in The Mystery of the Word That Cap’n Kathy Hates, but you haven’t seen the last of me! Look for me in my next bestseller The Clue of the Heir of Hufflepuff!" And then she was gone, with nothing but four small bubbles to mark where she had been.

Reviewer: imeldaDate: 2004-02-16
Reviewid: 71061Chapter: 3
eeeheehee! That was beyond funny, if a little embarrassing as I recognized some of my own cliche crimes. Some of my favorite jokes: Draco and Ginny's sudden irresistable attraction, "brekkie" (heehee), and then, Mary-Sue Drew was just ingenious.
I must confess. I have no idea who Cap'n Kathy is, or why her least fave word is important. But great fic!!!!!!!!! It needed to be written!!!

Reviewer: *LuNa*Date: 2004-02-10
Reviewid: 70025Chapter: 3
OMG! I'm dying with laghter the end was GOLD! Awsome Fic 1 of my favorites! A little unusual you don't see it everyday but that what makes it great! Did I mention I LOVED the end? lol c ya

*LuNa*

Reviewer: *LuNa*Date: 2004-02-10
Reviewid: 70024Chapter: 2
Pricless! Ron doing karaoke! OMG another chapter I can't stop laughing!

*The 1 and only LuNa*

Reviewer: *LuNa*Date: 2004-02-09
Reviewid: 70019Chapter: 1
Haaaaaaa! Haaaaaaaaa! Haaaaaaaa! I can't stop laughing that was hilarious! Great job! The letter from Aunt Petunia was priceless!

*The Real LuNa*

Reviewer: story645Date: 2004-01-29
Reviewid: 68852Chapter: 3
I think I reviewed before, but it seems to have gotten lost. I love your fic, have read it once or twice, think it is completly mad and one of the funniest parody's I have ever read. I loved how you characterized Ron, (clueless, a bit of an idiot) that is probably the cliche I hate the most. Hermione's behavior was very in character, could totally see her treating this as a learnig experience. I really liked the end, though it felt a little out of place, and yet it fit (I know that sounds strange).

Reviewer: LizDate: 2004-01-26
Reviewid: 68433Chapter: 3
Ahaha! I'm so glad you guys finally finished this! I guess I must have missed the last update, but luckily I found a link to the story. Well, that was a brilliant ending to a brilliant story! I especially loved the last line!
Great job guys, I think you had every single fanfiction cliche that has ever existed in this story! And I spent every minute reading this laughing my butt off!

Lizzielu

Reviewer: EztigmaDate: 2004-01-12
Reviewid: 66743Chapter: 3
hi,

i liked your story very much (i'm thinkin' 'bout writing myself). i really liked all the cliches and liked the one at the end best.

thank you for a very entertaining story on this monday morning (1.30 am)

Reviewer: LisaDate: 2004-01-09
Reviewid: 66334Chapter: 3
This fic seriously needs a spew warning. I scared the hell out of my cats laughing when I read the part " and Hermione was amazed that she had never before noticed his strong, animal attraction, or his rakish good looks. For a moment she felt a strong desire to bear his child. Regretfully, she decided that there probably wouldn&#8217;t be time for that this weekend." and Snape as the pink flamingo. Bwahahahahahaaa!!!!!
I would love to see you two do this to the Lord of the Rings fandom.

Reviewer: SehilaDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65039Chapter: 1
'ron u don't really think were... real people, do you?'
HHAAHAHAH i love it.

Reviewer: SydneyDate: 2003-12-29
Reviewid: 65037Chapter: 3
My dears, I have never seen so much concentrated cliche-ness in one fic before in my life. It was nauseating and absolutely hilarious. One of the best paradies that I've come across.

Reviewer: FlamewingDate: 2003-12-28
Reviewid: 65001Chapter: 3
*dies laughing*

Nancy Drew...Random Capitals of Officialness...oh, good Lord, you two are brilliant...

Reviewer: AeternaDate: 2003-12-28
Reviewid: 64934Chapter: 3
Great fic! I was laughing the entire time! I never knew an author could be that creative with food discriptions ... but then again, you're two authors, so that'd explain it!

Just one complaint.

Viggo. It has two 'g's. Very important not to get the precious's name wrong. ::huggles her precious VigGo::

Other than that, YOU GUYS ROX!

Much love,
'Terna

Reviewer: DonDate: 2003-12-27
Reviewid: 64895Chapter: 3
Love that! Please update soon. Yes, I know that seemed very final, but this is so lol omg funny! Wait, I've slipped back into review cliches.

Seriously, this has been wonderfully sharp and fun to read! Uncomfortable at times, when I see myself sometimes. (I picture myself as Mary Sue. Wait, maybe I shouldn't have shared that?)

Great job! Looking forward to more of your work!

Reviewer: EllaDate: 2003-12-27
Reviewid: 64891Chapter: 1
Oh, dear. I blame you two for everything. You see, I was reading this on a laptop over Christmas with my whole family and much of my extended family in the room and now they all think me incurably insane. Let me tell you, it's VERY difficult to explain away random outbursts of uncontrollable laughter to eight or nine non-harry obsessed people. (Shocking, but there are those out there who don't see the humor in
'Ron stepped close to her. "There’s no Hogwarts without you, Mary Sue," he said, in a voice choked with emotion.
Harry tried, and failed, to stifle a snort of laughter. "What kind of thing is that to say, mate?" he asked. "It sounds like a throwaway line from a Muggle film."'
(My fav. part, btw)
Anywho, I hope you write more soon. Next time I'll try to read something like this in more private, soundproof surroundings.
~Ella

Reviewer: angryDate: 2003-12-26
Reviewid: 64853Chapter: 1
nancy drew duh! oh how i hated her perfectness at everything... and ned. urg ned. curse you ned nickerson, you evil perfect person. i swear though, she is a champion of every sport/anything she tries!!

Reviewer: ttaDate: 2003-12-26
Reviewid: 64847Chapter: 3
That was great! You're fic is hilarious and the last chapter was just as good as the other two. I love Ginny's hair the best. xD

Keep on writing cliches!

Reviewer: PaulineDate: 2003-12-26
Reviewid: 64832Chapter: 3
There is nothing left for me to do but utter a word. A word that annoys Cap'n Kathy. A word that starts with "squ" and rhymes with "tree".

Having done that, I will spend the rest of my life wishing I could be an enormous, silver yak. And, randomly snogging lawn ornaments in the hope that one of them will reveal itself to be Silky. And Dangerous.

So, as you can see, the after effects of this story are far reaching, long lasting and life changing. Which, I suppose, means that who have both written something most impressive.

Reviewer: H'tariDate: 2003-12-25
Reviewid: 64830Chapter: 3
^_^ Great parody- I loved it ^_^

Reviewer: ColleenDate: 2003-12-25
Reviewid: 64822Chapter: 3
Awww, that was wonderful! You so rarely come across a decent parody, and this one puts most to shame. I've never seem references to food when describing the physical characteristics of a person, but now I'll be on the look out for them.

Reviewer: dinkaDate: 2003-12-25
Reviewid: 64801Chapter: 3
Phew...

Let me breathe first.

That was a fantastic ending.

Let me tell you... There were a lot of things in this chapter that made me laugh out loud (I'll mention them later), but only one thing that made me have to walk away from the computer, because I was eating while I was reading this (big mistake) and started choking on my food.
Can you guess what that was?
The yak.
Oh, my goodness, when that yak turned into Ariel Love, I completely lost it! I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. I couldn't stop for a long time. I'm telling you, I had to walk away from the computer because I couldn't take it.

And since it was so hilarious, the follow-up joke with Snape and the flamingo seemed like overkill to me--I actually stopped laughing when I read that.
As a stand-alone joke, Snape being a flamingo is HILARIOUS. But after that yak, I didn't find it funny. A joke like that yak couldn't have anything similar following it. I don't know if you understand what I mean.

Omg... let me relax a little before I continue. That yak joke was really too much, I'm having trouble getting over it.

Let me see... what else did I find very funny...

Harry's dream, and his subsequent finding of freckled Ginny with tomatoey hair (lol) sleeping on the couch (how convenient!) was very funny.
I also loved the way he blurted out 5 sentences all together. lol. That was very funny too-- and then he felt so much better.
lol

Also, here are a few lines that made me laugh a lot.
"There was the horrifying possibility that thousands of Muggle women across the globe might cast him as a Tragically Misunderstood, thoroughly Redeemable hero and begin to write stories about him, and post them on the Internet."
hahahahaha

"It’s been fun to match wits with you in The Mystery of the Word That Cap’n Kathy Hates, but you haven’t seen the last of me! Look for me in my next bestseller The Clue of the Heir of Hufflepuff!""
hahaha, that was *very* funny. Mary Sue Drew, in general, was hilarious.

Anyway, great work, you guys! Thank you for all the laughs you've given me.

Happy Holidays!

dinka

Reviewer: HeatherKDate: 2003-12-25
Reviewid: 64788Chapter: 3
Howls with laughter!!! That's great! It's sad that Nancy Drew is dead, but you're so right, she can't ever really die! And it was so very funny! Well done!

Reviewer: the zedshuttlespoonthiefDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64777Chapter: 1
wow... this is surreal!! I've not got far yet because my head was spinning and i had to stop. Being a devoted Quiller i've led a very sheltered life and never met any real Mary Sues so these 'cliches' are really revelations to me- and absolutely wild, absurd, inconceivable... you name it. I'll take a deep breath and start to appreciate the brilliant humour now that the initial shock is wearing off.

Reviewer: PaigeDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64776Chapter: 3
ivy & Gracie,
*laughs* As sad as I am to see this end, I still can't stop laughing. At least we got our H/G in the end anyways!

<< There was the horrifying possibility that thousands of Muggle women across the globe might cast him as a Tragically Misunderstood, thoroughly Redeemable hero and begin to write stories about him, and post them on the Internet.>>
<<There was a second, louder pop, and Snape disappeared. In his place stood a large, pink flamingo. Ariel gaped. After a moment, the flamingo transformed back into Snape.>>
<<Thank you," Ariel answered. "Only the most powerful witches and wizards can perform Wandless Magic, you know.">>

Oh I laugh! Great end to a hilarious story, and here's a toast to you! I hope you two put more worx up here, and soon!

Paige, The Muggle Hermione

Reviewer: fetishized_armadilloDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64734Chapter: 3
This is wonderful :) I love that you threw in a pinch of OBHWF at the end without turning it into a full-blown romance. Very funny story. While the shipping subplot was rather underdeveloped (You poked fun at characterization stereotypes rather than shipping stereotypes), it was still a wonderful, hilarious read.

armadillo

Reviewer: ValerieDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64732Chapter: 3
<<"Trust me Ron, you get the girl of your dreams in the end," she said quietly. "You just don’t know who she is yet." And Hermione Granger smiled a very satisfied smile.>>

Superb ending! That was extraodinary! There aren't enough adjectives to describe the wonderfulness of this fic! I love cliches, especially when people make fun of them! All hail geniuses ivy & Gracie! *bows*

Reviewer: Delleve MiststoneDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64729Chapter: 3
No! It's over? Poo.

I was laughing so hard during this! You're crazy but wonderfully so and extremely hilarious. Flamingo, Lara Croft, the drowning of Mary Sue, Virginia, Macarena, and SO much more that made me laugh until I nearly fell out of my chair. You have got to write more!

Reviewer: BrytniDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64704Chapter: 3
Ooh, I just love this!

"There’s no Hogwarts without you, Mary Sue," he said, in a voice choked with emotion.

Harry tried, and failed, to stifle a snort of laughter. "What kind of thing is that to say, mate?" he asked. "It sounds like a throwaway line from a Muggle film."

Did you do this on purpose? Because that's what Harry says to Hagrid in the second Harry Potter film. Erm, yeah.

Great story! I laughed, I cried, I scolded my cliches. Bravo!

Reviewer: St. MargaretsDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64688Chapter: 3
Oh, it's just like Christmas: the anticipation, the thrill of the gift, and then you realize it is over. . . I have really enjoyed this story! I will never look at pink plastic flamingos the same way again! May MarySue and the squid have many "squidlets" together! Thanks for the laughs.

Reviewer: kayjalDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64686Chapter: 3
cheers.. kudos .. and a bloody merry christmas. this was a hilarious. i LOVED your cliches.. if i dont stop now i wont be able to. aaaaahhhh. and u even did the songfic cliches n EVERYTHING. wbwahahhaha

Reviewer: Jack IchijoujiDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64677Chapter: 3
I stand corrected. I *thought* I'd been disturbed. I know better. *Now* I'm disturbed.

Well done!

Reviewer: Jack IchijoujiDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64676Chapter: 2
I remain extremely disturbed. And hungry.

Reviewer: Jack IchijoujiDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64675Chapter: 1
I find this extremely disturbing. Matter of fact, I don't think I've ever been so disturbed in my entire life.

And yet...

I must press on.

Reviewer: LilacDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64674Chapter: 3
The Sugar Quill Home | The Sugar Quill Forum
Author: ivy & Gracie Story: A Very Harry Cliche Chapter: Chapter 3: The End
The Beginning Chapter 2: The Middle Chapter 3: The End
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.





Disclaimer: We swear we did not make any of this up. It all really happened. Oh, wait…(**ivy pokes Gracie with her umbrella. "whisperwhisperwhisper"**) Right: we did not make any of the characters up; it was J.K. Rowling, the cousin of Mary Sue Drew, who did that. Also, we are not getting paid for this, though we are willing to consider serious offers.

A/N: Ten house points to Colleen, madam en and Yavanna for finding the obscure Pride & Prejudice quote. It was, indeed, from chapter 2 in which the Bennett family discusses the necessity of a proper introduction to Mr. Bingley. Mr. Bennett presses Mary for her opinion, whereupon: "Mary [Ron] wished to say something very sensible but knew not how." Also, we must dedicate this chapter to Fellytone, an expert on Common Room Romance. Thanks too, to Yolanda, who puts up with our nonsense. Now…enjoy The End.









"It’s the beginning of The End," Snape sighed, and immediately jeered at himself for the sentiment. The Potions Master was pacing the cold stone floor of his bedchamber, his mind in turmoil, his hair a lank and greasy, yet somehow attractive mess, much like the hair of the actor Vigo Mortensen playing the part of Aragorn Strider in Snape’s favorite Muggle movie The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring..

He closed his eyes and saw himself again, whirling around the Great Hall in a mad polka with Ariel Love in his arms. Intoxicating!

He hadn’t intended to dance last night – had, in fact, determined to stand to the side and sneer at the lot of them. Few people would have guessed that in addition to speaking seven languages, possessing a firm grasp of quadratic equations, and being able to parse and diagram a sentence, Severus Snape was also an accomplished dancer. Such were the benefits of the classical education bestowed on him in his Troubled Youth by a Cruel and Drunken Father.

He had tipped his hand last night when the shapely young DADA teacher had pulled him out onto the dance floor for a frenzied Macarena. He had forgotten himself completely and now…..

Que le gusta la movida guerrilera

Macarena suena con el Madam Malkin’s

Y se compra los modeles mas modernes

Le gustaria vivir en Diagon Alley

Y ligar un novio nuevo.

Macarena, Macarena, Macarena……

"Enough!" Snape commanded himself, willing his toe to stop tapping. This would never do! This was nothing more than the effects of the Personality Facilitating Potion, he knew. Professor McGonagall’s prophecy seemed to ring in his ears like a portent of doom…. "Some of you, I think, will find you will not want to resist it."

Snape pulled distractedly at his hair. There had to be an antidote! If he waited the final hours for the potion to wear off, he might do his reputation irreversible harm. There was the horrifying possibility that thousands of Muggle women across the globe might cast him as a Tragically Misunderstood, thoroughly Redeemable hero and begin to write stories about him, and post them on the Internet. It would never do! He would go now and find an antidote, or die trying!

Snape gathered fury and determination about him like a cloak and strode off toward the dungeons, slamming the bedchamber door behind him.

For the second time in as many days the professor swept angrily into the Potions classroom. He locked the door with an impatient twist of his wand, and turning sharply, collided with….. an enormous, silver yak.

Snape was knocked squarely on his backside. His wand skittered off into a corner. "What the…. How the…. Who the…." He spluttered, and then squinted at the animal in disbelief.

For a large, mountain bovine of the species Bos grunniens, the yak was startlingly lovely. Trim hooves, haunting blue eyes, and hair like…. like… well, like moonlight, actually. Snape’s jaw dropped. It couldn’t possibly be!

There was an audible pop and before he could blink the yak disappeared, and in its place stood Ariel Love. "Surprise!" She extended her hand and beamed at the man on the floor. "I’ll bet you didn’t know that I’m an Unregistered Animagus."

Snape took the proffered hand grimly and allowed himself to be helped to his feet. "You’re lucky I’m a vegetarian, Ms Love," he said, and Ariel was struck by the Silky and Dangerous quality of his voice. Snape’s voice was nothing if not Silky. And Dangerous.

There was a second, louder pop, and Snape disappeared. In his place stood a large, pink flamingo. Ariel gaped. After a moment, the flamingo transformed back into Snape.

"You too, Severus?" she asked. "I am all astonishment!"

"Yes, being an Unregistered Animagus came in handy when I was in the service of the Dark Lord. If I was on a reconnaissance mission, and in danger of being caught, I would simply transform and pretend to be a lawn ornament."

Ariel clapped her hands in delight. "Oh, how clever of you Severus! But tell me, if it isn’t too painful…. How did you come to leave the service of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and come to live at Hogwarts?"

Snape hesitated.

"Severus," Ariel murmured. "Talk to me. There’s so much to say and so little time…"

Her words sounded a warning bell in Snape’s head, and he remembered his resolution to find an antidote to the potion. His resolve wavered. After all, he had led a Cold and Lonely Existence for so long…. Surely an hour’s delay would do no harm. (Snape, incidentally, was unaware that this same rationale was the downfall of millions of dieters the world over.)

Ariel didn’t wait for a reply. She crossed her arms and wiggled her nose, and a small, overstuffed love seat appeared out of thin air.

"Well done, Ms Love," Snape said grudgingly. "An impressive bit of Wandless Magic, I must say."

"Thank you," Ariel answered. "Only the most powerful witches and wizards can perform Wandless Magic, you know."

They sat together, and Snape began to speak, baring his soul in an emotional and un-canon-like manner that would have made J.K. Rowling turn over in her grave, had she been dead. He told her of the Struggle That Had Warred In His Soul during his years in the Dark Lord’s service. He spoke of the night when he had made the decision to change masters and, in a crashing thunderstorm, had run, weeping to Dumbledore to Confess his Crimes and Seek Absolution.

And then he kissed her.

He kissed her long and thoroughly and well, and Ariel was struck by the thought that she wanted nothing more than to kiss this man every day for the rest of her life. She knew that they could have several children together, and that he would be a Wonderful Father, even though he had never been anything but abusive to his own students. Sadly though, she would be leaving Hogwarts forever in a few hours, so it simply wasn’t possible.

So they made the most of the time that they did have, and the Authors leave you to make of that what you will.











Meanwhile, back in Gryffindor Tower…

He was running. Running down a long, dark tunnel, and at the end he could see the faintest pinprick of light, like a lone star in the vastness of the night sky. He didn’t know where, or from whom he was running, he only knew his life depended on that spark of light. He must reach it. It was His Destiny. His chest burned and his legs burned and he longed to stop, but the light was growing brighter now, and it seemed to be calling to him, compelling him closer. He ran and ran--would he never reach it? Ah! He could see now that the light was red. It glowed and pulsed with the color of a Thousand Sunsets. It took on the form of a very freckled girl. She, he somehow understood, was going to be his salvation. If only he knew who she was…

Harry awoke with a start. Sweat beaded his brow and the covers were tangled about him. What a strange dream it had been. Something about a redheaded girl who held the key to his heart. He was completely bewildered by it all. What could it mean? His bedside clock read 4:09 a.m. It was no good, he would have to get up and go down to the common room to clear his muddled thoughts.

Silently, he crept down the stairs. There--he never would have predicted it--fast asleep on one of the sofas, was Ginny. He tiptoed over.

The firelight cast a soft, orange glow on her features, which made a very convenient light in which to study this girl he had Never Noticed Before. She had the soft, helpless appeal of a kitten, and yet possessed a fierce air of independence that somehow made Harry want to marry her and have six children with her someday, two of whom would be twins they could name ‘Fred‘ and ‘George.’ Also, in the firelight, her hair was exactly the color of tinned tomato soup, and her freckles--had he ever Truly Seen her freckles before this? They were everywhere; on her nose, the soft curve of her neck, the palms of her hands…So thick were they, in fact, that Harry thought she looked as though she had been breaded; dipped in egg white, then rolled in crumbs and fried to a light, golden brown. He moaned softly, and wondered at the hunger she stirred in him.


You two outdid yourselves! I was roflmbo on this one! Well done!

Reviewer: US HP fanDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64664Chapter: 3
Wonderful story! Very funny. I hope you plan a sequel soon.

Reviewer: AdeleDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64663Chapter: 3
"I love you. I really have to use the loo." - that was priceless. I still haven't finished laughing over that.

You did an EXCELLENT job of slaughtering a fic. We're all so proud of you!

"Trust me Ron, you get the girl of your dreams in the end," she said quietly. "You just don’t know who she is yet." And Hermione Granger smiled a very satisfied smile. - you did a great job ending it. Very sweet note.

Three cheers for ivy & Gracie!
Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!
And another 'hip' for good measure.

Happy holidays! ;)

Reviewer: madame enDate: 2003-12-24
Reviewid: 64661Chapter: 3
I am all astonishment (*grin*) at your hilarious conclusion! Between Greasy-Yet Attractive-Aragorn-Hair-Snape, Pink Flamingo-Animagus-Snape, Startlingly Lovely Yaks, and Harry's continued obsession with objectifying Girls as Food, I don't know when I have giggled so continuously through a fic. Bravo. And Happy Christmas!

*can't stop giggling....*

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