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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 87

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-11-21
Reviewid: 136114Chapter: 6
Awesomely well done. Absolutely wonderful. A true must read.

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2005-04-21
Reviewid: 120260Chapter: 6
Oh that was so good. A deeper one than part 3. In part 3 I could keep laughing at the situation, remembering it was not real. Here, it was perfect. A little scary at the beginning, but it was perfect. I love it! Actually seeing Snape as a real person is wonderful. The problem with me is that I hate sad things, I'm kinda a Hufflepuff in that way. There were a few spelling problems 'peaking' instead of 'peeking' and in the last one, 'singed' instead of what I think would be -oh wait. IS that how you spell it? Oh well. I love it, and the rest of the story.

Reviewer: Brian TurkDate: 2004-12-30
Reviewid: 109222Chapter: 2
"I'll hold on," Veronica replied shakily, "if you promise not to let go."

This is by far one of THE best romantic lines ever written anywhere, ranking right up there with "You complete me."

Reviewer: Brian TurkDate: 2004-12-30
Reviewid: 109221Chapter: 6
Creepy, creepy, creepy...

Did I also mention that this story is simply outstanding in every regard?

As for the method of destroying a dementor: they can puke themselves to death? Who but you could have dreamed of that?! Disgustingly imaginative, and that's a compliment! I have yet to be disappointed in any way by anything you've written.

Except maybe being left at the end of this story, contemplating Snape on his wedding night. Now THAT'S what I call creepy!

Reviewer: The CorinthianDate: 2004-04-17
Reviewid: 79147Chapter: 1
Erk. My apologies to the phantom girl (Jennifer?) and the wonderful author - my Phantom parallel was off. Just scratch the last part of the message, except the bit about actually listening to Phantom. Your story is still really good. OK, I'm going away now.

Reviewer: The CorinthianDate: 2004-04-15
Reviewid: 78817Chapter: 1
This is one interesting fic. Probably the heaviest I've come across. I loved the conceit of the Hufflepuff "spares." It worked incredibly well, but from then on Veronica and Severus began dropping into the black hole of soap opera world. (Not to say that this prevented me from reading further!) Your conflict is really well done, and works. I would just say that the creepiness seems a little forced sometimes, as though you're trying a little too hard to shock people. Whatever. It's very good, I just can't resist the impulse to try and make it better. And you can't NOT like Veronica. And the Phantom person has a point, but maybe that's because Snape has so many inherant similarities to Erik :) (I'd highly recommened listening to the Andrew Lloyd Webber version - I bet you'd like it)

Reviewer: graceDate: 2004-01-27
Reviewid: 68504Chapter: 6
Bloodly good, I love that Snape is so cool in this story!! I always thought he was different than what he portrayed!

Reviewer: AdinaDate: 2003-09-12
Reviewid: 52094Chapter: 6
I would just like Miss Teresa to know that her wonderful stories about Snape and Veronica kept me up till 1:00A.M.
On a school night, no less! however, I will forgive her.

Reviewer: Michal HalliwellDate: 2003-08-03
Reviewid: 45238Chapter: 6
good story keep writing MAYBE you may be as good as Rowling herself

Reviewer: Christina TeresaDate: 2003-08-02
Reviewid: 45090Chapter: 1
Hi Jennifer,

Thanks for your interesting comments.

I've never seen or heard "Phantom", but I know a little of the basic story. I never thought about it until now, but it probably is a good analogy to SoaH. I think that's because both stories are very archetypal. Very basically it's Ultimate Goodness and Purity's fascination with Ultimate Evil and visa versa. Ultimate Evil is ultimately destroyed by his fascination, but Goodness reaches a sort of balance inside herself, even incorporating some of the Darkness.

I think the biggest difference is that the Phantom has much more humanity than Balin (who has none, except his mortality), but I suppose that's a minor point.

Christina

Reviewer: JenniferDate: 2003-07-31
Reviewid: 44769Chapter: 6
I read this fic about a month ago, and so I'm afraid I haven't got any real constructive criticism, but today I was listening to "The Phantom of the Opera" and I realized that this fic sounded an awful lot like "Phantom," with Veronica as Christine and Balin as the Phantom.

Phantom:
"Come to me: Angel of Music..."

Phantom refers to Christine as "angel" just like Balin does Veronica.

Raoul:
"Christine! Angel!"

And if Snape=Raoul, then Snape/Raoul is very worried about Veronica/Christine. Plus, they're both engaged, and the women they're engaged to are in love/think they're in love with someone else.

Christine:
"In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came... that voice which calls to me and speaks my name... And do I dream again? For now I find the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside my mind..."

Veronica see Balin in her dreams too. Eventually he possesses her and he's essentially in her mind.

Phantom:
"Sing once again with me our strange duet... My power over you grows stronger yet... And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside your mind..."

The relationship between Veronica and Balin is indeed a strange duet. His power over Veronica does grow stronger. Even though Veronica tries to look back at the past and remember Snape, Balin is still there in her mind.

Christine:
"Those who have seen your face draw back in fear... I am the mask you wear..."
Phantom:
"It's me they hear..."
Both:
"Your/my spirit and your/my voice, in one combined: the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside your/my mind."

People who have known Balin are afraid of him or the destruction he can do, and if an Auror ever saw Balin they would be sure to arrest him on the spot. So Balin hides in Veronica, but when Veronica speaks, it's Balin people are really hearing. In addition, Balin isn't really alive. He's just a ghost, which is a synonym for "phantom."

Well, anyway, this whole sort of allegory isn't a bad thing; I've truly enjoyed reading this fic. ^_^

Reviewer: BrendaDate: 2003-06-26
Reviewid: 38623Chapter: 6
I read most of your Severus and Veronica stories, they were really bloody fantastic. They were really good and I know see Severus in a different light. Thanks a lot. I knew he had some good in him.

Reviewer: NetherMagicDate: 2003-06-23
Reviewid: 38337Chapter: 1
Christina kickass work you've got here, and I thought all fan-fiction on the net were rubbish! Guess I'll havta second that. Newayz, I must say that your plot here is quite interesting, compared to the normal HP plot and how theres barely any explicit content in them, haha =] But newayz your plot wuz nice and I, along with prolly all the other ppl whom have read your works, sense that you've got great talent to become a professional writer. Hey, who knows, maybe you can continue the Hogwarts Legacy after Rowling finishes her 7 HP books! Best of luck with your future writing!

Reviewer: DemelzaDate: 2003-02-04
Reviewid: 18964Chapter: 6
wow...... wht a beautiful fic - i cried!! (what a sap lol) amazing stuff!!! dont eva stop writing lol

Reviewer: LeeDate: 2002-12-06
Reviewid: 11455Chapter: 1
I loved your other stories and I love this one. Well done!

Reviewer: Georgia RussellDate: 2002-10-19
Reviewid: 6621Chapter: 6
Good One!!!

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2002-10-08
Reviewid: 5717Chapter: 6
What a satisfying ending to this story! I really enjoyed it, and I was especially impressed with how you tied things up without resorting to pat or easy solutions. You acknowledge the complexities of the situations while still allowing resolution to take place, if that makes any sense. This particular line stuck out to me:

**
She at once pitied others who would never discover the shadow parts of their souls and wished she was still one of them.
**

That seemed very true of how moments of self-discovery and personal growth often come about. They leave you thinking, "Yeah, I know I'm a better person now, but that sure sucked all the same."

The characterizations are so great throughout this epilogue -- Veronica is so fully-realized and consistent. I found myself laughing on several occasions and thinking, "Yes, that's *just* what she would do!" Waving at the Snape family portraits, for example -- a great touch. Severus is also well-done. He shows a tenderness and forgiveness towards Veronica ("I'm continually amazed at the unintentionally remarkable things you do when you're just being yourself"), but not without a "Great gods, we're going to do that talking thing again, aren't we?" first. ;)

I'm so glad that Ron had the chance to sort things out -- his worry that Balin (eep!), not Veronica, had selected him was so funny and so Ron-like. I'm sure he'll breath a lot easier now!

Again, a wonderful ending.

Katinka

Reviewer: Lady ElwenDate: 2002-10-01
Reviewid: 5068Chapter: 6
*sigh* Wonderful, as are the rest of the stories in this series! Words don't express how excellent I think this is!! I hope to read more of your work soon! Kudos!!! :)

Reviewer: Christina TeresaDate: 2002-09-27
Reviewid: 4838Chapter: 6
Thanks for the reviews everybody; and thanks for sticking with this story till the end. Though I might write another story about Vee and Sev as we wait for the next book (I admit, I love them dearly), I think I've said all the really important things I've wanted to say about these characters after 250 odd pages and a whole year of writing. Can you believe it's been a year since I've started this?

This has been one of the best experiences I've ever had. I've always wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember; and the Hufflepuff saga has provided me an opportunity to practice plotting, pacing, description, not to mention the discipline of writing and producing chapters on a regular basis. I'd like to think that my writing, characterization and most of all--descriptive ability has improved over this past year, but that certainly is due in large part to my wonderful beta-readers. Thanks to you too. I couldn't have done it without you. Now more than ever, I feel like I can succeed with an original work. And maybe Veronica, Balin, Devi and my version of Severus will show up in some hopefully new and exciting work.

Thank you,

Chrisitna

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2002-09-26
Reviewid: 4823Chapter: 6
>Severus' rhythmic snoring

Hee! I always knew he did.

As usual, I start out one of your chapters by laughing - how I hate going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Part of the greatness of your fics is how you merge magic with the mundane.

The tentativeness of Sev and Vee towards each other is so sweet - they wouldn't be this way if they didn't care so much.

>"At least you have me around to stop you from inadvertently putting an end to the universe."

<snerk>That's our Sev!


The way you handled the awkwardness between Ron and Vee, and its resolution (go, Vidya!!!) was fantastic. It was watching Ron grow up a little, and watching a new sort of relationship between them being forged - this is probably the first time Ron can think of an adult as a *friend.* It was very cool.

LOL, I have this vision of Snape manor decked out in bright red chintz with little flying snitches....

I'm so sorry to see Veronica's story end. I agree with Yo - she's one of the best original characters out there, and you've written one of the truly remarkable fanfics in the HP universe (I'm including FTLOH in this, too). Thanks for all the pleasure you've given us with this story.

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2002-09-26
Reviewid: 4813Chapter: 6
I know this can't be over. I know you'll want to return to these characters at some point. After all, twenty years of marriage have certainly taught me one lesson--if you want to test your love, redecorate together!

You gave us the happy ending we had all been yearning for--and not just for Veronica and Severus. I was so pleased that Veronica and Ron could come to an understanding. As I said to you when you sent this to me before, I loved her speech.

Madam Devi was so wise and I'm so glad she told Ron the truth. I'm not sure Veronica would have told him the way he heard it from Devi.

And Severus dancing. I can see it and I bet he can dance well. You did a great job and I think Veronica is one of the best original characters out there. Congratulations!

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2002-09-25
Reviewid: 4755Chapter: 6
Well, I don't have time for a long review, alas. These days I don't seem too. But I enjoyed the ending.

I think my favorite scene was Ron and Veronica coming to terms. It certainly was complicated and multi-layered.

Good work.

Catherine

Reviewer: R.V.CrouchDate: 2002-09-25
Reviewid: 4740Chapter: 6
Lovely ending Christina.
It was a refreshing contrast to the darkness of the last five chapters.

*Covering the walls were forlorn, but proud portraits of Severus' ancestors, who were regarding both of them curiously. Veronica smiled at them brightly and cried, "Hello!" A few of the less stern-looking Snapes smiled back politely.*

This scene was wonderful.Extremely funny and dear.

Dobby's mixed reluctance and desire to take Veronica's scarf was also really cute.

I hadn't anticipated those mixed reactions from Ron.But Madam Devi made perfect sense of it(As usual).

I suppose that ends the Snape-Stanley-Balin series.A huge thanks from a fan for writing it.

R.V
P.S.I observed a minute of silence after Balin's death in the previous chapter.
OK.Just Kidding.

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-09-25
Reviewid: 4737Chapter: 6
Well you finally did it! Snapeand Veronica have managed to happily walk off into their lives. But Voldemort is still around so who knows what could happen!

I loved it to bits. I thought that last scene was cute. Veronica's reaction to the Manor and Snape's ancestors' reactions to her were spot-on perfect. The moment between Ron and Devi and than Ron and Veronica was particularely touching.

And of course Snape and Veronica's talk was just awkward and just happy enough.

Are you planning another fic? Not even in this world, just in general?

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3408Chapter: 5
Nice group effort on the rescue! Way to go!

I appreciated especially that Veronica has ephiphany...and Balin has ephiphany too, in a way.

I'm sorry I don't have time but to give this the most cursory of review. Know though that I am well satisfied with your solution. It was very well written.

Catherine

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3400Chapter: 5
Thank you for telling us a long, long time ago that you believe in happy endings. After we last saw Vee, churning helplessly in a Dementor's intestinal fluids, I was beginning to despair a little! But Severus to the rescue... :) The cord of light and love connecting he and Veronica was a lovely image ("The love of an angel filled her tormented soul and she could suddenly see a beautiful cord of light emanating from her heart. The cord had always been there, but she had been too mesmerized by Balin's tricks to see it.").

Despite the seriousness of Vee's predicament, I had to snicker a bit at her behavior in the Dementor's stomach! She's just so darn good, isn't she? ;) The way in which she tried to comfort the other souls, and later take one out with her, was just so in keeping with her character. And it was that same goodness that eventually destroyed the Dementor by depriving it of all its sustenance, right? One of many powerful messages you have throughout this chapter.

And Madam Devi! I had a feeling when she showed up that she was going to show that nasty Balin a thing or two. Obviously Dumbledore feels the same way ("Rupert," Dumbledore replied calmly. "You obviously have no idea who you are dealing with." The old wizard smiled. "I'm really going to enjoy this.") Heh heh heh...

A very fit end for Balin. Will there be a wedding, now that the soul-less fiends and Dementors have been dispatched with? :)

Excellent job with a very emotionally moving chapter!

Katinka

Reviewer: Christina TeresaDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3393Chapter: 5
Thanks everyone for your nice comments.

Yo: Did you ever think, as I watched you read the first chapter of this story in your den, that it would turn out the way it did? You thanked me so sweetly for the help I've given you with your stories; I wanted to thank you for getting me through the Hufflepuff Saga. :) I literally couldn't have done it without your constant support. Thank you for lighting a fire under my behind to not give up on this monster when I needed it.

Rugi: >Is it wrong of me to have been intensly amused by that whole situation?

Not at all! :) I wanted this whole story to have moments of humor in it, even though it was incredibly intense. It was certainly the only way it could have been bearable for me to write.

> And this chapter made me think of something I read once. It said that true virtue/goodness did not blind one to evil, but rather gave a deeper understanding of it.

Thank you so much. I couldn't have said it better myself. That's exactly what I wanted to say with this story.

Christina

Reviewer: ShilpaDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3392Chapter: 5
i loved this entire series so much and i'm the biggest buffy fan ever. when you mentioned the vampire bits, i wondered if you liked buffy and then i read the footnote for "under your spell" and i was right! so long live severus/veronica and buffy!

Reviewer: GennyDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3384Chapter: 5
great work as always

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3378Chapter: 5
What I loved about this chapter is its hopeful tone. Severus had the peace that passeth all understanding when he goes into that dungeon knowing that he can rescue her.

Balin was evil to the last drop. But whoa! The destruction of the dementor was like sooo cool. What an imagination you have. It was so in character for Veronica to want to save everyone else churning around in there. I was so proud of her. The door to the other side was a great touch.

All of Devi's speeches are wonderful in this story. She definitely exudes the power and wisdom that Veronica needs to finally start her recovery.

I loved the idea that Veronica had to embrace her knowledge of the Dark side to get rid of him forever. That is such a great idea--that you have to have the Dark with the Light.

I told you that I thought this chapter was one of the best if not the best you've done. You really have so much action and so much closure going on. It's a credit to you that you did it all here.

Can't wait to see the rest.

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3360Chapter: 5
Wow! What a spectacular way to do away with the villain!
I also love how Veronica finally broke out of the Hufflepuff "box." There is darkness and imperfection in all of us, after all. Great, great job! I can't wait to see what happens next. Is Veronica going to try and make amends with Ron? Don't leave us hanging here!

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-08-28
Reviewid: 3357Chapter: 5
Is it wrong of me to have been intensly amused by that whole situation? I just loved Veronica's offer to allow Snape to hit her/him in the mouth. And I thought that the displaced spirits were tragically funny. It was so like Veronica to refuse to leave them inside the dementor.

Balin's destruction was perfect for the character he had. Even his last words (word?) was correct. Bitterly cruel and unrepentant to the end. No soul. And this chapter made me think of something I read once. It said that true virtue/goodness did not blind one to evil, but rather gave a deeper understanding of it. Veronica, Severus, and Devi fit that well.

Lovely and I can't wait for the next chapter.

Reviewer: Christina TeresaDate: 2002-08-13
Reviewid: 1899Chapter: 4
Thanks Juliane and R.V.

Juliane said: "Finding out about the moment Balin notices and decides to break Vee really lends depth to their relationship and the story."

I actually have the details of their whole sick relationship from when Vee was a student floating around in my head, most of which even I couldn't bear to put to paper, as you can well imagine.

> "I hope Vee gives it indigestion."

You have no idea ;->

R.V. said: "But-there's no way to reverse it,is there?Lupin said so in PoA.How can Veronica possibly be saved? I know you won't answer that.I just have to wait for the next chapter."

Perceptive as always, R.V., but what would be the fun of my telling you what's going to happen? As far as what Remus said, as much as I love the hairy guy, he doesn't know everything. :-)

Rugi said: "Something just occurred to me. Professor Balin the DADA teacher AGAIN. Bleeeaaaaach!"

All I can say to that is the fifth-year Gryffindors would actually start looking forward to Potions!

Reviewer: R.V.CrouchDate: 2002-08-13
Reviewid: 1882Chapter: 4
That was a very thrilling chapter ending.One of your best.The description of the soul transfer was brilliant.I don't think a writer has ever done it before.
But-there's no way to reverse it,is there?Lupin said so in PoA.How can Veronica possibly be saved?
I know you won't answer that.I just have to wait for the next chapter.

A mercenary house-elf.
That does sound funny.

Balin was a shade too scary for anyone's liking in this chapter.The part describing Veronica in her room was definitely disturbing.But so long as he's there...I'm not complaining.

This is heading toward an interesting climax.looking forward to the next chapter.

R.V

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-08-13
Reviewid: 1872Chapter: 4
Something just occurred to me. Professor Balin the DADA teacher AGAIN. Bleeeaaaaach!

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2002-08-13
Reviewid: 1866Chapter: 4
>hoping to rescue the Headmaster from the apathetic web the old bat seemed to be spinning.

Damn, but I love your nasty Snape!

>Perhaps it would be best if you waited in the dungeon until Vidya needs you."

LOL, Severus is getting a Dumbledore Time Out!

I really love the segment from Balin’s POV. Especially this:

>Now that he had broken her, Balin was rather disappointed with the result

He does need a challenge to spice things up for him, doesn’t he? Finding out about the moment Balin notices and decides to break Vee really lends depth to their relationship and the story.

>He had toyed with the idea of skinning her hands and feet to rid them of the henna designs

EEEeeeeppp!!!!

Dobby and Sev – this scene had me howling. Your characterization of Dobby is fantastic and very much based on his personality rather than the fact he’s a house-elf. If that makes any sense.

>she had to admit, as a delicious thrill shot through her, that they did indeed make a handsome couple

>Just as Dobby had to obey her, she was compelled to obey Balin

This is so sad, and shows just how far he’s broken her.

Go mendhi! You’ve really outdone yourself (and that is saying a LOT) with Devi and the mendhi concept. They’re a perfect fit to the story.

>dementor began to fidget excitedly

Fidgety dementors! LOL, that cracks me up every time I think about it. One of the things that is so unique about your writing is the humor that is allied so closely with the horror.

Oh gack! The description of the Dementor’s stomach was….vivid. Gross. Disgusting. Fabulous.

I hope Vee gives it indigestion.

Reviewer: Christina TeresaDate: 2002-08-12
Reviewid: 1747Chapter: 4
Thanks everyone for your nice comments. I know I always say this, but I'll say it again. I realize this story is difficult to read—it's difficult to write as well, so I really appreciate you hearty souls who are struggling through it with me.

Axelle said: "Which brings me to Balin: the man / ghost / monster is insatiable! Frankly, I don't think he'll ever be satisfied. DO you think most of the thrill for him is in the "chase" (a ridiculously benign-sounding euphemism for his tactics of immoral persuasion)."

I think you're exactly right, it is all about the chase for him, but I also think that because he's unable to feel love *nothing* is enough for him. Pitiful creature really.


Christina

Reviewer: KathyDate: 2002-08-12
Reviewid: 1707Chapter: 4
Boy, you sure know how to leave a person hanging. This is a very dark, disturbing but fascinating story. I certainly hope its going to have something resembling a happy ending??? Please?????

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2002-08-12
Reviewid: 1698Chapter: 4
Oh! Poor Veronica! This is just hard to read!

You show the sinister well.

I hope that Veronica gets to fight back on her own, as well as be rescued. She really deserves to overcome!

A really good piece of story telling, Chris.

Catherine

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2002-08-11
Reviewid: 1674Chapter: 4
I thought you did a wonderful job of showing Severus at the brink. He was ready to blow! And I know Dumbledore puts up with a lot, but this time, I didn't blame Sev a bit.

Madam Devi continues to be an absolutely marvelous OC. I love her. I want to become just like her! She really embodies quiet strength and power.

Balin is quite frightening in his continued campaign to take over. Once again, the study of Veronica as a victim is perfect. That business about doing it for her own good was totally right. I also like his lack of vindictiveness. It makes such perfect sense for him to be that way.

The way you balanced the end of the chapter with Severus recognizing her love and Veronica recognizing that she needed him in her darkest time was great. The entire dementor scene is bone chilling. I was totally slammed by the end when I first read it.

Great chapter. I know she'll be okay. I keep comforting myself with that thought.

Reviewer: Sweeney AgonistesDate: 2002-08-11
Reviewid: 1667Chapter: 4
NOOOO. Cliffhanger *bad*.

I really like the way you've woven Indian elements into this story, and Madam Devi is a *wonderful* OC. Sort of like Dumbledore himself, but with more mysticism -- absoballyspiffinlutely fantastic.

Looking forward to more *soon* -- I'm worried about Veronica!

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-08-11
Reviewid: 1648Chapter: 4
This has got to be the most perfect version of what goes on inside a dementor's stomach. I am impressed. I also am biting my nails off with worry for Vee. It will take all of your authorial ingenuity to get her out of there. Though I am hoping the mendhi-rope follows her into the mouth.

I winced when Severus said what he did even though I thought he was uncomfortably close to being justyfied in his anger. I hope the next chapter comes out soon. This wins the award for most gut/heartwrenching cliffhanger of all time.

Reviewer: A.L. de SauveterreDate: 2002-08-11
Reviewid: 1639Chapter: 4
Christina!

A terrific and truly terrifying chapter!! I admire how, even amidst all the torture and angst, you manage to infuse your tale with lighthearted chuckles. Dobby and Snape and the whole pair of black socks! I enjoyed seeing Dobby's sycophantic side with Snape ("Black is now Dobby's new favorite color." Mwahahaha!).

<<"Tell me, Albus," Severus rumbled, "do you find it easier to abandon Veronica to her fate each time you do it or is it just as difficult as it was the first time?">>
--Ouch! Snape isn't exactly known for his social skills, but when he starts sniping at Albus like that, something is *really* wrong. Of course, that's exactly what Balin wants. SUch a son of Chaos.

Which brings me to Balin: the man / ghost / monster is insatiable! Frankly, I don't think he'll ever be satisfied. DO you think most of the thrill for him is in the "chase" (a ridiculously benign-sounding euphemism for his tactics of immoral persuasion). I'm terrified now, but I'm sure what he (and Vee) might do if she were to banish her soul is utterly shudder-worthy.

--Utterly shudder-worthy like your chapter ending! OH NO!! She was still IN there ("But if I go, who will take care of you?")! Egads!! It's early for a Sunday; I should be in bed having nice dreams about Animagi and instead am lying in front of my screen, a quivering, trembling terrified mass. Thanks for that. ;)

But I still have hope. The mendhi is incredible -- what a vibrant, beautiful imagination you have! I'm curious about the threads; it seems that most of her essence was left behind (perhaps with Dobby and / or Snape?) and what she freely gave was only a wee remainder?

So so many questions! I can't wait to see the rest unfold.

Axelle :)
still shivering (and not from the A/C)

Reviewer: Christina TeresaDate: 2002-08-06
Reviewid: 1133Chapter: 3
Thank you for reading Philippa. I hope to have the next chapter up very soon.

NZ...

First of all you're an absolute dear for going to all this trouble. All of SQ's beta-readers should have such wonderful 'students'. Thank you so much. You put a huge smile on my face. :)

QUOTE: "I had one little question in the beginning, though. Could Harry and Hermione hear what Vee was saying to Ron? --because they knew he was *supposed* to go see her the previous afternoon. Just thought they might be questioning him later..."

That's a very good question. I figure that Harry and Hermione were too preoccupied with studying for O.W.L.s to pay much attention. After all, neither of them would assume that there was anything wrong between Ron and Vee so they would be more likely to tune it out. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :)

Thanks for you kind words and your wonderful little project. You're a peach!

Reviewer: Night ZephyrDate: 2002-08-05
Reviewid: 942Chapter: 3
Hi Christina! I hope you like my little surprise:)) There are very few ways in which a 'beta student' such as myself can thank a wonderful beta-reader like you for all of your time, insight, corrections, suggestions, ideas and support. I had it on good authority that you might be sad without all of these lovely reviews to enjoy, and I knew you'd never move them yourself, so...

Consider it a work in progress--I'm going back for the rest of them soon! You'll be able to tell it was really me who posted the reviews--I left you some of my signature mistakes, even here :)

In the meantime--this was *not* posted at the original SQ:

How I loved this chapter! To me, this feels like your writing at its best.

For instance, the letter Vee gives to Ron: "Dearest Ron" and "I'll be happy to help in any way I can!" Those pieces made me flinch right along with Ron. I felt badly for Ron and the predicament he's in with this--usually he can depend on his friends to help him out, or at least support him. But he's completely alone here--he doesn't dare tell his friends or family--and he's used to having that kind of support (reminds me of Harry's situations from time to time).

I had one little question in the beginning, though. Could Harry and Hermione hear what Vee was saying to Ron? --because they knew he was *supposed* to go see her the previous afternoon. Just thought they might be questioning him later...

I *loved* your description of Vidya--you make it so easy to 'see' her.

Again you've made me feel for Snape--poor guy!! I never knew he had such patience in him--it's obvious how much he loves Vee just from the way he deals with this. I also felt badly for him when Vee returns his ring in front of the entire staff later.

The visual on this line from your description was awesome as well for Snape:
"Severus stamped back down to the dungeons, his black robes billowing behind him like ominous storm clouds." Ahhh-yes. How very Snape!!

Snape's realization that Balin was back was heartbreaking. I wasn't surprised that he wanted Vidya to rip him from Vee as soon as possible. Your concept of the 'darkness' being deep within Vee, so deep that to pull it out immediately would harm her was just--chilling. I loved this part:

"We all have darkness inside of us, Severus," she said quietly, looking deeply into his eyes. "Some of us just wear it closer to the surface where it is more easily exploited, but where it is also more easily mastered."

The dream was so dark!! Again you've shown us the epitomy of evil with Balin--he treats Vee all right until she offers a piece of her true self. Then Balin's rejection, physical and otherwise:
"When will you understand that your love is the only thing of yours that I don't want?" Eeeek!!

The magical mendhi was such a wonderful idea, as it 'snaked' out of the pot and onto Vee's body. I enjoyed your descriptions of how it formed itself into figures in the air.

Even before Ron's issues were resolved there was one part where I heartily enjoyed the vengeance factor. I loved it where Balin was telling Vee that she'd better not go to see the healer again, and how displeased he was with the mendhi.--What, Rupert--worried??? (Ha!Ha!Finally!)

You've already heard bits of how well I think you handled the scene with Ron and the healer. I think Ron is appropriately upset and depressed here, but he's definitely Ron. And the fact that Vidya's empowered him with something he can understand so well--I knew you'd take good care of him after all. Can't wait for the next chapter!!

~NZ~

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 935Chapter: 3
posted at the roginal SQ by: JulianeS
Registered User
Posts: 477
(7/15/02 4:31:34 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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>He's too good, or should I say, evil to waste.


That could be his motto. Just figure out the Latin for it.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 934Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 111
(7/15/02 3:22:13 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa.
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Thanks Juliane and Axelle.

I actually wrote the Ron/Vidya scene right after I wrote the Ron/Vee scene in chapter 2, without knowing exactly where I would put it. I realized I couldn't just leave Ron hanging out there, all freaked out with O.W.L.s to deal with. I really didn't think of the fallout of Veronica's come-on when I wrote it, I was so immersed in Veronica's psyche (which is a scary place to be even when the woman is having a good day).

...and I’ll add my opinion that the soulless jerk does have his sexy side –

Thanks Juliane, I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I'll wager a guess that it was Severus's nine drops of blood Madam Devi used to make the Magical Mendhi? I'm dying of curiosity to see what the Mendhi does!

Yes, Devi mixed his blood into the henna paste to add to its magic. I hope you like what it does, Axelle, I think it'll be pretty cool. I've always loved mendhi (the Muggle kind) and have gotten painted myself on a couple of occasions, though not for marriage purposes.

But he is (or was rather) without a doubt the coolest villain I’ve come across on paper.

Thanks R.V. I'm thinking about going back to writing my original novel and I defnitely want to use his character in there somewhere. He's too good, or should I say, evil to waste.

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 933Chapter: 3
posted on the original SQ by: Peasegood
Registered User
Posts: 60
(7/15/02 4:08:25 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa.
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Well,as a guy,I can’t speak for how sexy he is.But he is (or was rather) without a doubt the coolest villain I’ve come across on paper.He’s evil and power incarnate combined.He knows it and he loves it.He has a very primitive side,but can be smart and sophisticated when he wants to.When you couple that to his extraordinary sense of dark humor,he makes a very enjoyable read.As I see it,the only wrong thing would be not liking such a great character.
And this is not the bias of a Christina fan talking.

R.V.Crouch
He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom-Gandalf.LoTR.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 932Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: A L de Sauveterre
Registered User
Posts: 81
(7/14/02 11:33:07 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Christina,

A fantastic chapter! Horrifying (in the best possible sense) to see Veronica's acknowledged that her spirit is broken <echoes Juliane: Oh noooo!> (the dreaded power of negative reinforcement). And my God, can Balin get any worse?! Swinging from paramour to paedophilic psychopath, he's not someone you want to know intimately!

I admire how you blur the lines of reality from Vee's point of view:

Quote:
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Balin appeared behind her and she felt a hand around her throat—whether it was his or her own she wasn't quite sure.
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It shows just how deep she's spiralling into that void.

Vidya Devi is a fabulous character! And not unlike Dumbledore--no wonder they're such great friends! To paraphrase Mr. Ollivander, I think we can expect to see great things from her. You delivered up Ron's torment over the harassment episode so well, but I'm glad to see his faith in himself has been restored (or is it more accurate to say awakened?). Lovely symbolism of the king's piece, by the way.

I'll wager a guess that it was Severus's nine drops of blood Madam Devi used to make the Magical Mendhi? I'm dying of curiosity to see what the Mendhi does!

Brava!

Axelle

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 931Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: JulianeS
Registered User
Posts: 476
(7/14/02 8:25:04 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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>"I do expect you to at least open it," she said, her usually warm brown eyes frostily boring into his. "Please let me know if you have any questions." With that, she turned and strolled cheerfully out of the Great Hall. – great juxtaposition of Vee’s divided personality!

>”Worst of all she wasn't just any witch; she knew more about the Dark Arts than anyone at Hogwarts, even Snape” – poor Ron! Vee is so nice that we forget she’s actually a very powerful and potentially dangerous witch.

I love the form Sev’s torment is taking – he keeps inadvertently destroying things: forks under the table, gargoyle wings….the dissonance between he and Veronica is so precisely portrayed. Wonderful!

Devi is awesome! Splendid! I especially love her comment to Sev:

"We all have darkness inside of us, Severus," she said quietly, looking deeply into his eyes. "Some of us just wear it closer to the surface where it is more easily exploited, but where it is also more easily mastered."

Brilliant! And it sure gives Sev something to think about!

I had to laugh at Sev’s reaction to Devi’s diagnosis of demonic possession. First he just says, “Are you sure?” and the next moment he wants to shove Vee in a room and rip old Balin out.

The reaction of Sev’s photo to being ripped and burned is terrifying – you’ve definitely expanded my thinking about wizard photography! And then Balin shows…and I’ll add my opinion that the soulless jerk does have his sexy side – the kiss was definitely memorable, made more so by the violence following. Which, in turn, adds so much depth to this:

“shelving the strange encounter with Balin in the back of her mind as if it had never happened.”

If she could shelve something that horrific so easily, she’s in deep trouble.

“Balin had finally broken her spirit.” – Noooooo…

Egg yolk. Bwaaah!

The scene between Ron and Devi was just brilliant. I’ve never read a scene that confronted Ron’s sense of his lack of power so perfectly. And I loved the way Devi gave him confidence. <sigh>. It was such an uplifting end to a rather traumatizing (in a great way) chapter.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 930Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 110
(7/14/02 2:15:42 pm )
Reply
Re: Madam Devi
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Thanks R.V. and JK,

Again, I'm thrilled that Devi seems to be a hit and that this very complicated chapter (at least for me) came off all right.

Very chilling line.But it's strange how I was thinking-Go Balin!

What in the heck is wrong with us, R.V.?? When Rupert and Vee were snogging later on in the chapter, I found myself thinking, 'boy, this guy is dead [if you'll pardon the pun] sexy.' And I've always thought so, too. What's up with that? Fortunately, I'm working out my fascination for this baddest of bad boys on paper rather than real life.

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 929Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: JK Rose
Professor
Posts: 277
(7/13/02 3:28:58 pm )
Reply
Madam Devi
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Wow. She is really, really wonderful. Power, intuition, understanding ... a great OC and a well-written chapter from top to bottom -- really tight and moves you along well. Plus Devi. I too want to be her when I grow up!

Edited to say: I'm really looking forward to the next chapter...

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 928Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Peasegood
Registered User
Posts: 59
(7/13/02 3:05:28 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Captivating OC Number 3.Madam Devi is now one of my favourite fanfic characters.She was brilliant.Wisdom,grace,silent power and a touch of humour(a lot like our favourite Headmaster).She had so many interesting lines.Her views on the Dark Side of a person's personality were extremely interesting.As was the way she decided to approach Veronica's problem and the manner in which she strengthened Ron.

The jokes were wonderful as usual.
"Really?" Severus replied sarcastically as he dug the gold band out of his egg yoke, dripping a bit of the sticky yellow fluid on his robes. "What was your first clue?"- This nearly split my sides.Vintage Snape.

I am certain. Whatever it is has no soul."

Very chilling line.But it's strange how I was thinking-Go Balin!

Best chapter so far.Looking forward to the next.

R.V.Crouch
He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 927Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 109
(7/13/02 2:17:31 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Glad you liked the chapter Catherine.

Devi is a mystic warrior from Brahma and Vishnu, who slayed a mighty monster with hundreds of arrows

Devi is actually the Great Goddess figure in Hinduism who displays many different aspects of feminine power, including her warrior aspect you mentioned. She can also be a kind and nurturing Mother Goddess, as well as an alluring Goddess of love and sex. Incarnated as Sarasvati, Devi is the Goddess of music and learning. In Vidya, I wanted to show the Goddess in several different aspects, and I expect you'll be seeing a little of the warrior in her before too long.

Edited to say: Catherine, I figured the 'mistake' was a mistake.

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 926Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Catherine
The Noisy Introvert
Posts: 1547
(7/13/02 1:09:42 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Well done! You show the conflict between Veronica and Balin well. He's a nasty bugger.

My little forays into folklore tell me that the Devi is a mystic warrior from Brahma and Vishnu, who slayed a mighty monster with hundreds of arrows. What your Devi will borrow from her will be interesting to see.

Your portrayal of Ron in this time of uncertainty is superb.

Catherine

edited to change mistake into mystic, thus making myself look less foolish.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 925Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 108
(7/13/02 12:41:21 pm )
Reply
Re: Madam Devi
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Thanks Rugi and Yolanda,

This chapter was particularly difficult to write because I think I've been channeling a bit of Veronica's schizophrenia lately . I felt really scattered as I was trying to construct it, so I'm relieved that it seems to have come together all right.

I'm glad you like Vidya. She's someone I'd like to be when I grow up. She's actually an homage to a therapist friend of mine who really knows how to get to the heart of a problem without spending 10 years asking you about your potty training.

Chris

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 924Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Yolanda
Queen of Grooviness
Posts: 954
(7/13/02 10:07:57 am )
Reply
Madam Devi
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The fight between darkness and light really comes through in this chapter. There are those flashes of irrational behavior on Veronica's part and Balin's really frightening appearances balanced with the quiet power of Vidya. She kicks butt! I like her strategy of not showing her power to the enemy.

You really did a great job running poor Severus through the mill. At first, he's at the end of his rope with Veronica, but yet, when he sees the torment she's in, something tugs at his heart. When he knows the truth, he rallies, like he's always done. I feel for him.

I enjoyed Veronica's little Scarlett O'Hara tantrum. When she tossed that picture in the fire, it made me think of the painting, The Scream. Should I tell you how many times I threw my engagement ring? And I wasn't even possessed by a soulless demon!

My favorite part, and you know this already, is the scene between Ron and Vidya. She helped him understand that Veronica picked on him because he believed he was powerless. Then, she gave him the tools to avoid being victimized again. Where is this miracle-worker! We need her at my office.

Great job!!

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 923Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Rugi Corrino
Registered User
Posts: 147
(7/13/02 12:23:42 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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They aren't letting us review on ffn so I just wanted to say that I was very impressed by the latest chapter. This may sound strange but I was very happy to finally know what happened with Veronica.

And the healer is another one of your wonderful OC's.

Reviewer: Night ZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 922Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 106
(7/5/02 8:44:08 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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I'm glad you're enjoying FTLOH so far. I hope you like the rest of it as well. Some of it is pretty tough to read, but hopefully it's worthwhile. BTW, Balin creeps me out too.

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 921Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: PBS Jones
Registered User
Posts: 2
(7/4/02 11:19:02 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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I haven't finished "For the Love of Hufflepuff" yet, but I am gobbling it up as fast as I can. I must admit, you have me completely creeped out with Professor Balin. I hope to goodness that you didn't write that spot-on profile of a (now adult) abused teenager from experience! I almost couldn't read that part... and the whole "You'll treat me like I'm a broken doll..." bit: Perfect! I'll even forgive you for washing Snape's hair because it was so hilarious!

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 920Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Yolanda
Queen of Grooviness
Posts: 925
(7/3/02 8:01:19 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Wow! Chris, this second chapter was really chilling. I had only seen a piece of it before I had to leave. This is really great! How do I even identify the most chilling parts? "The reason why you are—and always have been—so disgustingly weak is because of your stinking Hufflepuff soul. Destroy it and your anguish will cease." That says it all, doesn't it??

I thought Severus' reactions were very much in character and I was glad that he didn't fall for her seduction. He was genuinely concerned and loves her very much, even though he's been put to such a difficult test. I thought that was very well done.

I have to go to work, or I would say more. I do have to mention how subtle you were with Ron. Very well done!

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 919Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Author Comment
Rosmerta
Registered User
Posts: 1
(6/23/02 6:57:21 pm )
Reply
Books 2 & 3 ... Soul of a Hufflepuff
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Christina Teresa, I'm so glad someone finally pointed me to your stories here on SugarQuill! I was reading them on ff.net, and you know how *that's* been lately ...

I loved the ending of book 3 (how did I miss seeing it posted before???). I love it that Severus has a lightning bolt scar now. I admit I'm confused as to how Veronica could survive, if her love saved him the way Lily's love saved Harry - yet Lily died for Harry, right? Hope you can explain how that worked... For a bit there I thought Vee simply used her Anti-Bully Charm to reflect the AK back to its caster!

The new story looks very promising too - dark territory here, perhaps even darker than before, as we've never seen Vee actually have an impulse to really harm someone she cared about - let alone act on that impulse. Tell me Balin isn't influencing poor Veronica from beyond the grave! I look forward very much to reading more.

Your fan,

Rosmerta




csteresa
Professor
Posts: 99
(6/24/02 4:27:44 pm )
Reply
Re: Books 2 & 3 ... Soul of a Hufflepuff
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Thank you Rugi and Rosemerta,

I know this new story is tough to read (and might get a little tougher in the next chapter), but in the end I hope it will be so much more meaningful than a shallow 'happily ever after'
ending.

I'm confused as to how Veronica could survive, if her love saved him the way Lily's love saved Harry - yet Lily died for Harry, right? Hope you can explain how that worked... For a bit there I thought Vee simply used her Anti-Bully Charm to reflect the AK back to its caster!

I tried to explain that in the last chapter, but I don't think I was as clear as I had hoped to be. Anyway, Veronica theorized that it was Lily's love not her death that saved Harry, and that theoretically, if Lily had been able to send Harry her love energy as Veronica did for Severus, Harry would have been able to block the curse and Lily would not have died. It was Veronica's love that she sent to Severus just as Balin cast the Killing Curse that blocked the curse and gave him his scar.

I hope that makes sense.

Christina




Rosmerta
Registered User
Posts: 2
(6/24/02 10:36:26 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Thanks, Christina, that does make a bit more sense now. So Lily didn't actually have to die to save Harry - she died because Voldemort targeted both of them together? Whereas in Veronica's case Balin was aiming for Snape alone, so she was unaffected. OK.

Veronica DEFINITELY has to publish this discovery - how that she's field-tested it, so to speak - for the whole Wizarding World to know!

Looking forward to more Soul,

Rosmerta




Melissa Renee
Registered User
Posts: 20
(6/30/02 3:22:42 pm )
Reply
Soul of a Hufflepuff, Chapter 2
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I can imagine why that was difficult to write. I hope that Dumbledore's healer can help Veronica. The part where she was trying to seduce Ron scared me and I hope nothing like that happens again. Though will any adults find out about it? And will Veronica's new personality (for lack of a better term) start affecting the way her students see her?

Keep up the good work

Melissa Renee




csteresa
Professor
Posts: 100
(6/30/02 4:29:57 pm )
Reply
Re: Soul of a Hufflepuff, Chapter 2
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Thanks for continuing to read it, Melissa Renee. I know it's not easy to take at times.

The part where she was trying to seduce Ron scared me and I hope nothing like that happens again.

Siriusly creepy, I know. I'm torn between the desire to not give away the rest of the story and the need to assure everyone reading it that Ron will be okay. I guess you're just going to have to trust me (don't worry, you can trust me ).

Christina




A L de Sauveterre
Registered User
Posts: 48
(7/1/02 9:17:07 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Wow, Christina,

Powerful chapter. I admire especially how you portray Veronica as teetering on the edge of morality and sanity. The duality of her inner dialogue is frightening and well done. Seen through Ron's eyes--that scene in the classroom <shivers>--the change in her is twice as terrifying. (Although, I have to admit I still get a kick out of Ron's inner thought processes, which are very "Ron": eg. "He couldn't help thinking that if Snape were to walk in right now, he would receive detention for the rest of his life." )

Resorting to suicide after the realisation of what evil she is capable of is truly credible, especially for someone as inherently good as Veronica.

When Balin's voice comes through the fire, Vee wasn't the only one who jumped, I can tell you! Destroy her Hufflepuff soul? ( Oh no!!) I was reminded of Dorian Grey and the destruction of his soul through the corrupting of innocents. But I'm glad to see Veronica isn't completely ready to play lackey to Balin's macchinations. <fingers crossed>

Severus is remarkably strong and steadfast in his attempts to understand and save Veronica. It seems tough enough for Veronica to determine how much of her actions are Balin's influence and how much are her own--how much more confusing it must be for Severus! One of my favourites here is:

Quote:
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He was quickly losing her to madness, but he refused to give her up without a fight. Throughout this ordeal, he took comfort the memory of how her love had saved him from the Killing Curse. She believed in the power of love, as no one he had ever known. If he had not experienced that power for himself, he would have dismissed such sentimental nonsense.

Right now it was all he had.
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Brava! Now I can't wait to see how the healer fares...

Axelle



Edited by: A L de Sauveterre at: 7/1/02 9:18:41 am

Catherine
The Noisy Introvert
Posts: 1481
(7/1/02 9:54:51 am )
Reply
Soul of a Hufflepuff #2
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Christina:

The strength of this chapter is the constant movement and evolution of Veronica's character. You keep moving her back and forth, focusing on her emotions, and really making us feel them with her.

You've done a great job showing her conflict, her confusion, and her pain.

The scene with Ron is well written and unsettling.

Hang in there! This may be hard to write, but you are producing good work.

Catherine




JulianeS
Registered User
Posts: 454
(7/1/02 10:13:27 am )
Reply
SoaH - ch.2
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“their 'cures' for psychic pain usually included powerful Memory Charms and potions that eventually caused irreparable damage to the mind.” – fascinating thought! Quacks even in the wizard world.

You’re so good at portraying the intricacies of relationships – we get a great sense of the dynamic between Sev and Albus in the first scene, and just why Sev and Vee are so compatible (in a weird way) during their first exchange at breakfast.

“Severus wished this Devi woman would hurry and cursed Dumbledore for not meddling a few days sooner.” – Hee! So Sev.

“Somehow he didn't think passing one O.W.L. would be enough to keep his mother from killing him.” – I’d be scared, too. The Wrath of Molly is not to be taken lightly.

“O.W.L.s are important, but they're not life and death” – I love Vee! She’s got her priorities in order, when she’s herself!

The scene between Ron and Vee was exceptionally well done – I love Ron’s thoughts and reactions to Vee’s weird behavior. It rings very true.

Her horror and fear over what happened was so heartbreaking (her little moment of practicality in the midst of her panic is such a great insight into human thought processes). I was so terrified she was going to go through with her plan – Severus would never get over it if he found she’d contemplated using poison from his stores, especially if she’d succeeded. The guilt would have destroyed him.

Evil Balin! Scary Balin! I want more Balin!

"Destroy my soul?" Veronica said with alarm as the splendid feeling began to slip away. "But I need it!" -- This is such a great sentence! In the midst of this scary scene, I started to laugh hysterically, I think from sheer reaction and Vee’s utter practicality surfacing once again under the weirdest circumstances. I thought at this instant that Hunter S. Thompson would get a real kick out of her.

You’ve captured the back-and-forth between Vee and Vee/Balin so well – it’s a complicated scenario, but the reader never gets confused as to just who’s acting. I especially like the scene where she wakes up and doesn’t remember the meeting with Balin, but wants to admire more lovely Weasleys, with a warning to herself to keep her hands off. You can see her being slowly torn apart.

The last scene: Good for Sev! I like the way you’ve got him standing up for himself (postponing the wedding) but still fighting for Veronica. He’s retained the essence of his personality, but you can see the small changes that have come over him via the ordeal in FTLOH. I just hope he realizes in time just what is wrong with Vee!

On that note, I can’t wait to meet the Healer. I just bet she drives Severus completely nuts….







Edited by: JulianeS at: 7/1/02 10:15:45 am

csteresa
Professor
Posts: 101
(7/1/02 12:18:59 pm )
Reply
Re: SoaH - ch.2
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Thanks Axelle, Catherine, and Juliane. You've all been so incredibly helpful to me as I struggle through this story.

I'm so glad to hear that I seemed to have gotten Veronica's schizophrenic crackup (for lack of a better phrase) right. I must have written parts of her inner struggle five times before I was happy (if I can use that word) with it.

Severus is remarkably strong and steadfast in his attempts to understand and save Veronica.

It was equally tough trying to figure out how Severus would react to all this. I've always seen him as being really solid and dependable when the chips are down, but he definitely has his limits.

Evil Balin! Scary Balin! I want more Balin!

You're beginning to scare me, Juliane; though I can't help imagining what Viv would make of ol' Rupert if their universes happened to cross paths <hint, hint>

"Destroy my soul?" Veronica said with alarm as the splendid feeling began to slip away. "But I need it!" -- This is such a great sentence! In the midst of this scary scene, I started to laugh hysterically...

You know, I almost changed that line because I thought it was such an utterly lame thing to say at the moment. Now I'm glad I didn't.

Thanks again, you guys ROX!

Christina



Edited by: csteresa at: 7/1/02 12:20:36 pm

JulianeS
Registered User
Posts: 458
(7/1/02 1:16:53 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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You're beginning to scare me, Juliane; though I can't help imagining what Viv would make of ol' Rupert if their universes happened to cross paths <hint, hint>

Oh dear - the first thing that comes to mind is this:

Rupert (after spending a little time with Viv): Are you *sure* you have a soul, honey?




csteresa
Professor
Posts: 102
(7/1/02 1:41:07 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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LOL!

Viv has a soul, she just hides it well.




NightZephyr
Registered User
Posts: 215
(7/1/02 1:56:34 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Hi Christina!--You've already heard bits of this, but I wanted to make it official over here.

This is such difficult material to handle and you've handled it in such a meaningful way. I'm very impressed with the courage it took not only to write this chapter and deal with the circumstances involved, but to post it and face the opinions of others (although at least at SQ you won't get the rampaging flamers).

You’ve done a great job of illustrating Vee’s struggle with herself, all the way through the chapter. At some points she is true to her own soul, ready to banish Balin (as a hallucination or not), then the next thing you know, she’s experiencing, and at times, enjoying the Balin-inspired feelings again (i.e., just when I thought she was past lusting after Ron, she’s thinking of ‘lovely Weasley boys’ again). True, her mind then warned her to keep her distance, but even Balin had warned her about that, so it could have been him rather than her own conscience. She's so perfectly conflicted.

I'm so anxious to see how the healer pulls Vee from the depths of her schizophrenia, because she certainly has a long way to go to return to the cheerful, funny, lovely Vee we know.

I felt so sorry for Snape--he’s finally found someone, and now she’s got this sirius problem. I picture him thinking that he's finally found someone who thinks he can be one of the good guys, which makes him believe it as well, and now they have this huge obstacle to their happiness. But she’s obviously had a tremendous effect on him because his first response is to try and help the situation by using love to snap her out of it. Before FLOTH and this, I wouldn’t have thought it possible that he would ever do such a thing. I loved that he knew the answer was in:

“letting go of his anger and replacing it with his fervent love for her” and that “Right now (love) was all he had.”

Ron's reaction is both very authentic and very much in character. He was so terrified and confused about what was going on, so much so that he couldn't run. But he obviously had some clue about Vee's intentions because the first thing he thought of was Snape and his retaliation. At least in the end Vee did try to help Ron with his perspective:

"Mr. Weasley," she murmured, "there are worse things that could happen to you than failing O.W.L.s. " Much worse, indeed.

Good thing I trust you to take care of our "delectable little redhead"!!

~NZ~





Peasegood
Registered User
Posts: 57
(7/1/02 3:31:00 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another cool chapter Christina!

The scene with Ron was brilliantly written.Definitely the best part of the chapter.It was fast,humorous and intensely dark.

Snape's reaction to Veronica's change at the end was portrayed emotionally and realistically.The scene in which he held her until she turned back to herself was nicely done.

All Veronica fans will undoubtedly be praying that Dumbledore's old friend(Goddess of Education?) arrives soon.

As for myself, even though I'm very fond of Miss Stanley-

Evil Balin! Scary Balin! I want more Balin!-JulianeS.

Hear!Hear!

Looking forward to the next chapter.

R.V.Crouch
He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom-Gandalf.LoTR.

P.S. I'll permit myself a small nitpick(and for me, this is truely blasphemy on my part).However-I can't see Snape calling Dumbledore 'Albus'.He usually addresses him as 'Headmaster'.








csteresa
Professor
Posts: 103
(7/2/02 11:46:06 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
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Thanks NZ and R.V.

Much to my surprise, I haven't gotten any negative feedback. People are obviously disturbed by the story, but then they're supposed to be. After this, I'm writing a romantic comedy. I've had enough deep psychological angst to last me a while.

All Veronica fans will undoubtedly be praying that Dumbledore's old friend(Goddess of Education?) arrives soon.

It's weird to think that my OC has fans. Thanks! Anyway, the name Vidya does mean knowledge and learning. An Indian gal I work with suggested the name when I told her what sort of character I was creating. The Devi is a Hindi Mother Goddess, who can kick sirius butt when need be. Under the circumstances, I thought I needed to bring in the big gun.

P.S. I'll permit myself a small nitpick(and for me, this is truely blasphemy on my part).However-I can't see Snape calling Dumbledore 'Albus'.He usually addresses him as 'Headmaster'.

I'm insenced, but I'll get over it. I figured since they were alone, Sev would call him by his first name. 'Headmaster' just sounded way too formal when I tried it out.

Thanks for the support you guys. It means a lot.

Chris

Reviewer: Night ZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 918Chapter: 3
posted at the roginal SQ by: Peasegood
Registered User
Posts: 57
(7/1/02 3:31:00 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another cool chapter Christina!

The scene with Ron was brilliantly written.Definitely the best part of the chapter.It was fast,humorous and intensely dark.

Snape's reaction to Veronica's change at the end was portrayed emotionally and realistically.The scene in which he held her until she turned back to herself was nicely done.

All Veronica fans will undoubtedly be praying that Dumbledore's old friend(Goddess of Education?) arrives soon.

As for myself, even though I'm very fond of Miss Stanley-

Evil Balin! Scary Balin! I want more Balin!-JulianeS.

Hear!Hear!

Looking forward to the next chapter.

R.V.Crouch
He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom-Gandalf.LoTR.

P.S. I'll permit myself a small nitpick(and for me, this is truely blasphemy on my part).However-I can't see Snape calling Dumbledore 'Albus'.He usually addresses him as 'Headmaster'.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 917Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: NightZephyr
Registered User
Posts: 215
(7/1/02 1:56:34 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Christina!--You've already heard bits of this, but I wanted to make it official over here.

This is such difficult material to handle and you've handled it in such a meaningful way. I'm very impressed with the courage it took not only to write this chapter and deal with the circumstances involved, but to post it and face the opinions of others (although at least at SQ you won't get the rampaging flamers).

You’ve done a great job of illustrating Vee’s struggle with herself, all the way through the chapter. At some points she is true to her own soul, ready to banish Balin (as a hallucination or not), then the next thing you know, she’s experiencing, and at times, enjoying the Balin-inspired feelings again (i.e., just when I thought she was past lusting after Ron, she’s thinking of ‘lovely Weasley boys’ again). True, her mind then warned her to keep her distance, but even Balin had warned her about that, so it could have been him rather than her own conscience. She's so perfectly conflicted.

I'm so anxious to see how the healer pulls Vee from the depths of her schizophrenia, because she certainly has a long way to go to return to the cheerful, funny, lovely Vee we know.

I felt so sorry for Snape--he’s finally found someone, and now she’s got this sirius problem. I picture him thinking that he's finally found someone who thinks he can be one of the good guys, which makes him believe it as well, and now they have this huge obstacle to their happiness. But she’s obviously had a tremendous effect on him because his first response is to try and help the situation by using love to snap her out of it. Before FLOTH and this, I wouldn’t have thought it possible that he would ever do such a thing. I loved that he knew the answer was in:

“letting go of his anger and replacing it with his fervent love for her” and that “Right now (love) was all he had.”

Ron's reaction is both very authentic and very much in character. He was so terrified and confused about what was going on, so much so that he couldn't run. But he obviously had some clue about Vee's intentions because the first thing he thought of was Snape and his retaliation. At least in the end Vee did try to help Ron with his perspective:

"Mr. Weasley," she murmured, "there are worse things that could happen to you than failing O.W.L.s. " Much worse, indeed.

Good thing I trust you to take care of our "delectable little redhead"!!

~NZ~

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 916Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: JulianeS
Registered User
Posts: 458
(7/1/02 1:16:53 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're beginning to scare me, Juliane; though I can't help imagining what Viv would make of ol' Rupert if their universes happened to cross paths <hint, hint>

Oh dear - the first thing that comes to mind is this:

Rupert (after spending a little time with Viv): Are you *sure* you have a soul, honey?

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 915Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 101
(7/1/02 12:18:59 pm )
Reply
Re: SoaH - ch.2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks Axelle, Catherine, and Juliane. You've all been so incredibly helpful to me as I struggle through this story.

I'm so glad to hear that I seemed to have gotten Veronica's schizophrenic crackup (for lack of a better phrase) right. I must have written parts of her inner struggle five times before I was happy (if I can use that word) with it.

Severus is remarkably strong and steadfast in his attempts to understand and save Veronica.

It was equally tough trying to figure out how Severus would react to all this. I've always seen him as being really solid and dependable when the chips are down, but he definitely has his limits.

Evil Balin! Scary Balin! I want more Balin!

You're beginning to scare me, Juliane; though I can't help imagining what Viv would make of ol' Rupert if their universes happened to cross paths <hint, hint>

"Destroy my soul?" Veronica said with alarm as the splendid feeling began to slip away. "But I need it!" -- This is such a great sentence! In the midst of this scary scene, I started to laugh hysterically...

You know, I almost changed that line because I thought it was such an utterly lame thing to say at the moment. Now I'm glad I didn't.

Thanks again, you guys ROX!

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 914Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: JulianeS
Registered User
Posts: 454
(7/1/02 10:13:27 am )
Reply
SoaH - ch.2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“their 'cures' for psychic pain usually included powerful Memory Charms and potions that eventually caused irreparable damage to the mind.” – fascinating thought! Quacks even in the wizard world.

You’re so good at portraying the intricacies of relationships – we get a great sense of the dynamic between Sev and Albus in the first scene, and just why Sev and Vee are so compatible (in a weird way) during their first exchange at breakfast.

“Severus wished this Devi woman would hurry and cursed Dumbledore for not meddling a few days sooner.” – Hee! So Sev.

“Somehow he didn't think passing one O.W.L. would be enough to keep his mother from killing him.” – I’d be scared, too. The Wrath of Molly is not to be taken lightly.

“O.W.L.s are important, but they're not life and death” – I love Vee! She’s got her priorities in order, when she’s herself!

The scene between Ron and Vee was exceptionally well done – I love Ron’s thoughts and reactions to Vee’s weird behavior. It rings very true.

Her horror and fear over what happened was so heartbreaking (her little moment of practicality in the midst of her panic is such a great insight into human thought processes). I was so terrified she was going to go through with her plan – Severus would never get over it if he found she’d contemplated using poison from his stores, especially if she’d succeeded. The guilt would have destroyed him.

Evil Balin! Scary Balin! I want more Balin!

"Destroy my soul?" Veronica said with alarm as the splendid feeling began to slip away. "But I need it!" -- This is such a great sentence! In the midst of this scary scene, I started to laugh hysterically, I think from sheer reaction and Vee’s utter practicality surfacing once again under the weirdest circumstances. I thought at this instant that Hunter S. Thompson would get a real kick out of her.

You’ve captured the back-and-forth between Vee and Vee/Balin so well – it’s a complicated scenario, but the reader never gets confused as to just who’s acting. I especially like the scene where she wakes up and doesn’t remember the meeting with Balin, but wants to admire more lovely Weasleys, with a warning to herself to keep her hands off. You can see her being slowly torn apart.

The last scene: Good for Sev! I like the way you’ve got him standing up for himself (postponing the wedding) but still fighting for Veronica. He’s retained the essence of his personality, but you can see the small changes that have come over him via the ordeal in FTLOH. I just hope he realizes in time just what is wrong with Vee!

On that note, I can’t wait to meet the Healer. I just bet she drives Severus completely nuts….

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 913Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Catherine
The Noisy Introvert
Posts: 1481
(7/1/02 9:54:51 am )
Reply
Soul of a Hufflepuff #2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christina:

The strength of this chapter is the constant movement and evolution of Veronica's character. You keep moving her back and forth, focusing on her emotions, and really making us feel them with her.

You've done a great job showing her conflict, her confusion, and her pain.

The scene with Ron is well written and unsettling.

Hang in there! This may be hard to write, but you are producing good work.

Catherine

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 912Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: A L de Sauveterre
Registered User
Posts: 48
(7/1/02 9:17:07 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, Christina,

Powerful chapter. I admire especially how you portray Veronica as teetering on the edge of morality and sanity. The duality of her inner dialogue is frightening and well done. Seen through Ron's eyes--that scene in the classroom <shivers>--the change in her is twice as terrifying. (Although, I have to admit I still get a kick out of Ron's inner thought processes, which are very "Ron": eg. "He couldn't help thinking that if Snape were to walk in right now, he would receive detention for the rest of his life." )

Resorting to suicide after the realisation of what evil she is capable of is truly credible, especially for someone as inherently good as Veronica.

When Balin's voice comes through the fire, Vee wasn't the only one who jumped, I can tell you! Destroy her Hufflepuff soul? ( Oh no!!) I was reminded of Dorian Grey and the destruction of his soul through the corrupting of innocents. But I'm glad to see Veronica isn't completely ready to play lackey to Balin's macchinations. <fingers crossed>

Severus is remarkably strong and steadfast in his attempts to understand and save Veronica. It seems tough enough for Veronica to determine how much of her actions are Balin's influence and how much are her own--how much more confusing it must be for Severus! One of my favourites here is:

Quote:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was quickly losing her to madness, but he refused to give her up without a fight. Throughout this ordeal, he took comfort the memory of how her love had saved him from the Killing Curse. She believed in the power of love, as no one he had ever known. If he had not experienced that power for himself, he would have dismissed such sentimental nonsense.

Right now it was all he had.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brava! Now I can't wait to see how the healer fares...

Axelle

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 911Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 100
(6/30/02 4:29:57 pm )
Reply
Re: Soul of a Hufflepuff, Chapter 2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for continuing to read it, Melissa Renee. I know it's not easy to take at times.

The part where she was trying to seduce Ron scared me and I hope nothing like that happens again.

Siriusly creepy, I know. I'm torn between the desire to not give away the rest of the story and the need to assure everyone reading it that Ron will be okay. I guess you're just going to have to trust me (don't worry, you can trust me ).

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 910Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Melissa Renee
Registered User
Posts: 20
(6/30/02 3:22:42 pm )
Reply
Soul of a Hufflepuff, Chapter 2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can imagine why that was difficult to write. I hope that Dumbledore's healer can help Veronica. The part where she was trying to seduce Ron scared me and I hope nothing like that happens again. Though will any adults find out about it? And will Veronica's new personality (for lack of a better term) start affecting the way her students see her?

Keep up the good work

Melissa Renee

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 909Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Rosmerta
Registered User
Posts: 2
(6/24/02 10:36:26 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks, Christina, that does make a bit more sense now. So Lily didn't actually have to die to save Harry - she died because Voldemort targeted both of them together? Whereas in Veronica's case Balin was aiming for Snape alone, so she was unaffected. OK.

Veronica DEFINITELY has to publish this discovery - how that she's field-tested it, so to speak - for the whole Wizarding World to know!

Looking forward to more Soul,

Rosmerta

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 908Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 99
(6/24/02 4:27:44 pm )
Reply
Re: Books 2 & 3 ... Soul of a Hufflepuff
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you Rugi and Rosemerta,

I know this new story is tough to read (and might get a little tougher in the next chapter), but in the end I hope it will be so much more meaningful than a shallow 'happily ever after'
ending.

I'm confused as to how Veronica could survive, if her love saved him the way Lily's love saved Harry - yet Lily died for Harry, right? Hope you can explain how that worked... For a bit there I thought Vee simply used her Anti-Bully Charm to reflect the AK back to its caster!

I tried to explain that in the last chapter, but I don't think I was as clear as I had hoped to be. Anyway, Veronica theorized that it was Lily's love not her death that saved Harry, and that theoretically, if Lily had been able to send Harry her love energy as Veronica did for Severus, Harry would have been able to block the curse and Lily would not have died. It was Veronica's love that she sent to Severus just as Balin cast the Killing Curse that blocked the curse and gave him his scar.

I hope that makes sense.

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 907Chapter: 3
posted at theoriginal SQ by: Rosmerta
Registered User
Posts: 1
(6/23/02 6:57:21 pm )
Reply
Books 2 & 3 ... Soul of a Hufflepuff
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christina Teresa, I'm so glad someone finally pointed me to your stories here on SugarQuill! I was reading them on ff.net, and you know how *that's* been lately ...

I loved the ending of book 3 (how did I miss seeing it posted before???). I love it that Severus has a lightning bolt scar now. I admit I'm confused as to how Veronica could survive, if her love saved him the way Lily's love saved Harry - yet Lily died for Harry, right? Hope you can explain how that worked... For a bit there I thought Vee simply used her Anti-Bully Charm to reflect the AK back to its caster!

The new story looks very promising too - dark territory here, perhaps even darker than before, as we've never seen Vee actually have an impulse to really harm someone she cared about - let alone act on that impulse. Tell me Balin isn't influencing poor Veronica from beyond the grave! I look forward very much to reading more.

Your fan,

Rosmerta

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 906Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by:

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 900Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: Rugi Corrino
Registered User
Posts: 138
(6/23/02 11:07:45 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
At first I was crushed that things weren't perfect for the characters I liked so much and then I realized that it couldn't be as easy for them at it was so I tried to be glad that there would be more story. I am glad that you are telling more of their story.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 899Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 95
(6/17/02 11:31:51 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just get worried about characters.

Catherine, I don't worry about them so much as think about new and inventive ways to torture them--for their own good, of course.

Thank you, Juliane. All I can say is that it's going to get darker before it gets lighter, but it will get lighter, I promise. I hate unhappy endings.

Chris

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 898Chapter: 3
posted at the original SQ by: JulianeS
Registered User
Posts: 440
(6/17/02 4:13:40 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brrrr - the dream was freaky! And what I liked about it was that every detail *meant* something - things weren't just thrown in to be weird. And I like how Severus calls off the wedding. It's nice to see him standing up for his own emotional health - I feel like he learned something through the ordeal in FTLOH.

Fascinating psychological fic - I can't wait for the next chapter to see if Vee makes any progress in banishing Balin's creepy ghost. (can Sev's dream nurse help out, maybe? I like her).

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 897Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: Catherine
The Noisy Introvert
Posts: 1369
(6/14/02 12:11:55 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christina:

Well, of course I'll trust you. You're the only one who has the whole picture.

I just get worried about characters. That's all. Heck, I even worry about my own, and I know what's happening with them. Wait! That's why I worry about them!

Catherine

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 896Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: csteresa
Professor
Posts: 92
(6/14/02 11:26:01 am )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you all very much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your thoughtful comments and support.

One of the things in FTLOH I had wanted to deal with was resolving Veronica's problem with intimacy, but I never got a chance to deal with it in the way I wanted to, so here it is. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who has to suffer through it. As you can imagine, I'm extremely nervous about this story. I find it as disturbing as you all do, believe me. I truly hope that the warnings do keep the kids away.

I really hope that she isn't going to end up as another victim of abuse that gets to be a victim all their life--it would be sad and tragic after what Balin did to her.

Of course, I can't give anything away, Catherine, what's the fun (if I can use that word in reference to this story) in that? All I can say is trust me. I don't know if this makes any sense for me to say this, but all of favorite movies have happy endings except for Lawrence of Arabia. Veronica's difficulties were inspired by Lawrence's famous Dera'a episode which I make reference to in the story (I was reading a biography of him while I was writing FTLOH). It always bugged me that Lawrence was never healed, so maybe this is my weird little way of resolving that. A little peek into my brain that may or may not be stranger than what I write.

It seems you have brought Balin back-be it in a different way. Apparently, Veronica is not the only person who can’t let go of him.

I actually used to like writing for the guy because he crax me up, but I'm beginning to hate him as much as Veronica does. Sometimes (and I know this is blasphemy as far as you're concerned, R.V. ) I wish I had never created the guy. *sigh*

Christina

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 895Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: Peasegood
Registered User
Posts: 53
(6/14/02 2:33:12 am )
Reply
Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica awoke, trying to grasp onto the strange dream she just had, but it slipped away before she could remember even one detail. All she knew was that the pain in her heart was gone, replaced by something else she couldn't quite identify.
She grinned. Whatever it was, it didn't hurt.

* slight gulp*
Dear me, those lines are extremely incongruous with Veronica-which makes it very scary.
The darkness in this story was very extreme. A step above FTLOH. Of course, there were brilliant moments of humour-

"You may have sex with the bride." multiplied by hundred.

"I think it's patently obvious—you've tired of Severus' pedestrian lovemaking and you don't want to get married."

In spite of that, the intensity and seriousness of their situation was never lifted. An air of darkness permeated the dream constantly. I was actually waiting for her to get up for it to be lifted. Boy was I mistaken.

Looking forward to the next part. It seems you have brought Balin back-be it in a different way. Apparently,Veronica is not the only person who can’t let go of him.

R.V.Crouch
He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.-Gandalf.LoTR.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 894Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: JK Rose
Professor
Posts: 249
(6/13/02 11:30:35 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I mentioned before, this is raw stuff... way disturbing. I'm interested to see what unfolds in upcoming chapters.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 893Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: A L de Sauveterre
Registered User
Posts: 19
(6/13/02 11:24:31 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow is the word! You have a knack for setting dark drama just right. Veronica's sudden change is disturbing, but then again, if you've been abused by a Dark wizard, you can't expect it to have been showtunes around the campfire, can you? Is it due to the aftereffects of abuse? a Dark spell? astral projection by Balin?? I'm very curious to see how Severus (or Veronica) tackles this very touchy issue firsthand.

Axelle

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 892Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: Yolanda
Queen of Grooviness
Posts: 897
(6/13/02 10:49:37 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not really fair for me to give you a review, since you actually experienced my reaction to this chapter in person. Girl, you sure don't shy away from emotionally charged themes and you certainly have your victimology down. It's perfectly logical and not unexpected for Veronica to behave this way, but I happen to know a lot of the story already and it will all make sense soon.

I have to tell you, as someone who has experienced recurring bad dreams, the wedding sequence really evoked tension and frustration.

Good work--you sure creeped me out--which means you did a good job.

Reviewer: NightZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 891Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: Catherine
The Noisy Introvert
Posts: 1362
(6/13/02 10:34:10 pm )
Reply
Re: Christina Teresa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow!

Both Severus and Veronica should get themselves to counselling, right now!!!! This is gonna be a pretty rocky story otherwise. (Yeah, yeah, I know. )

Anyway, I think it was very wise to put that not for young readers advisory on here, and I hope that they stay out. There's not a lot here for them. This is a nasty business.

I find the change in Veronica's character disturbing. I'm sure you don't expect me to find it pleasant, so that worked. I really hope that she isn't going to end up as another victim of abuse that gets to be a victim all their life--it would be sad and tragic after what Balin did to her.

An interesting read, if not a pleasant one. Then again, there's no guarantee they'll all be pleasant.

Catherine

Reviewer: Night ZephyrDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 890Chapter: 3
posted at old SQ by: kwinelf
Registered User
Posts: 17
(6/13/02 9:59:23 pm )
Reply
Sequel to FLTOH
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well! What an emotionally powerful beginning. I love the fact that you are being realistic about Veronica's difficulty with her first real relationship. It certainly makes sense. And a considerate Severus is a nice surprise - especially considering no one else would believe it!! Found the dream sequence a little disturbing, as I'm sure it was meant to be. Hope the two manage to resolve their differences - though naturally after a long and angst-filled interlude! Look forward to reading more soon....
Kwinelf

Reviewer: Philippa SommervilleDate: 2002-08-02
Reviewid: 620Chapter: 3
Please more! This is disturbing, but good, and I am glad to see that one of my favorite stories has a sequel.

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