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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Shame
Review(s): 41

Reviewer: Dawn PatrickDate: 2005-07-30
Reviewid: 128262Chapter: 1
I really liked this - it brought Peter to life in a way I've never seen anyone do before. It also put that scene in a context that fits completely the reaction of Remus and Sirius when Harry confronts them about it.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2005-03-02
Reviewid: 115289Chapter: 1
I really liked this. Your writing is- brilliant. I think your characterisation is spot on, I mean really spot on, the way Rowling meant them to be. Peter all needy and desperate and taking what the teachers say so bad- Snape having been nasty, but not deserving what he got. And Remus, of course, obviously ashamed of what happened. I'm not being very articulate here, am I? Well, anyhow, very well written- insightful and original and rather scary. Did you mean Peter's words to echo Ron's ? To me reading through that scene it was very reminiscent of that... Anyhow, brilliant story, very good!

Reviewer: After the RainDate: 2005-01-29
Reviewid: 112376Chapter: 1
Ooh, I really liked this -- I tend to read Peter's apparent enthusiasm in the Pensieve scene as mostly faked (because cheering on his friends is his job, and he knows it), but you've given convincing reasons *why* he might genuinely enjoy Snape's humiliation and, thank goodness, they don't involve him being evil by nature. Poor kid.

Reviewer: RAvenDate: 2005-01-29
Reviewid: 112363Chapter: 1
Amazing, haunting, breathtaking.

Reviewer: BeverlyDate: 2005-01-29
Reviewid: 112349Chapter: 1
This is one of the most original and well thought stories I had the pleasure to read hear on the Quill. I'll definitely be printing it out for posterity!

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2005-01-29
Reviewid: 112329Chapter: 1
Well. That was...breathtaking. Um. Where to start? We feel like if we begom commentating on your story we're going to break the spell of it. It's stark and raw and very, very real...probably more real than anything we've ever read in fanfiction. We read this because of your post on the 'negative reviews' thread, and all we can say about the people who didn't like this story is, 'What are they thinking???'

Oh--excuse us--it didn't have Hogwarts cheerleaders, and no one kissed, and Snape wasn't sexy (a backside the color of mutton fat? How awesome is that?!) and some of the teenagers were actually portrayed as *tormented*--Obviously, it doesn't qualify as Quality Fanfiction, then. (Excuse us--we're grumpy at your bad reviewers)

**Deep, cleansing breath** OK--on to a Quality Review. Your imagery is amazing: Fresh and honest--the color of Snape's backside is an example. And Peter's unvarnished neediness: The last line is brilliant, because it sums up the whole point of the story. His friends anchor him; they give him a sense of his worth, and his role in the universe. The question remains, though: What happened between this story and Godric's Hollow, 10/31/81, to move Peter to the other side? We wish you would write it.

What else? Love how Snape got the nickname 'Snivellus.' You've done your job as an author, and made us a little sympathetic toward him, as well as toward Peter. Poor kid: Who among us hasn't felt like he does? He's everyone who's ever felt insignificant--invisible--before. We can't help but be on his side.

Well, we've rambled on enough--don't know how much this has helped you. Suffice it to say, we're disappointed that you haven't posted any other fanfic here for over a year. Why not?

Reviewer: GenesseDate: 2004-12-31
Reviewid: 109408Chapter: 1
That's really insightful. You should write more, Spartina! Doesn't have to be about Peter, but I think that you did a fabulous job capturing him here. This is probably the best Peter story I've read.

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2004-11-14
Reviewid: 104767Chapter: 1
You did a wonderful job giving insight into Peter’s psyche; he is a very hard character to write realistically. This story is both heartbreaking and chilling at the same time. I look forward to seeing more of your writing.

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: B. NonymousDate: 2004-08-14
Reviewid: 97205Chapter: 1

I found this via the Review Challenge thread. You really nailed poor Peter... far better than anyone else I've read. Someone else commented on possible Ron parallels, but I don't see them. It doesn't matter anyway, Ron's not Peter, Peter's not Ron, and this piece proves the very unique nature of Peter, IMHO.

Reviewer: EireneDate: 2004-07-24
Reviewid: 93837Chapter: 1
Very creative, well-written and well thought out. I liked how you showed Peter, wanting revenge but too cowardly to do it. Great job!

Reviewer: BeckyDate: 2004-06-23
Reviewid: 88487Chapter: 1
An incredibly well-rounded, well-crafted psychological portrait: this is one of the few times I've read a really accurate Wormtail. Nifty use of the second-person. I'd love to read more of your work!

Reviewer: ZaraDate: 2004-06-07
Reviewid: 86194Chapter: 1
wow ... nice

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-03-23
Reviewid: 75666Chapter: 1
This was really heartwrenching, how Peter tries so hard to fit in and can't seem to--he can't seem to grasp some of the things his friends do. We all have moments like the small scene at the end--it seems that Peter's entire life is one of these moments. So sad--Peter's in character and his perspective is realistic. Good job!


Reviewer: AllisonDate: 2004-03-07
Reviewid: 73565Chapter: 1
Oh, wow. That's amazing! You had such excellent characterizations and justifications for how and why people acted the way they did. I'm so impressed -- marvelous job!

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2004-02-21
Reviewid: 71775Chapter: 1
Makes one feel sad for Peter. That, like Severus, no one knew how to guide them.

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-01-26
Reviewid: 68465Chapter: 1
Intensely sad. The fact thtat his shame comes from his friends most. And that he rarely gets a good word.

Nice correlations, too with Ron. That part about fixing someone else's humiliation into your memory. It sort of makes you look askew at Ron while elevating Peter.

Great work!

Reviewer: atroposDate: 2003-11-10
Reviewid: 59546Chapter: 1
This is a wonderfully complex characterisation of Wormtail. Under his outer layers of insecurity and his need for approval is a real streak of vindictiveness and refusal to see the moral implications of his wish for revenge which seems to gently foreshadow what we know he will become. These lines in particular seem to capture those characteristics:

>>So you don’t ask for much. All it would take to make you thoroughly happy would be to dispense—just once would be enough—a dose of the humiliation you swallow every day. Not to someone like you—for you’re not interested in cruelty for its own sake, you’re not that sort of person—but to somebody who richly deserves it.<<

He is excusing exactly the behaviour he deplores in other people because his victim would 'deserve it'. The first step on the rocky road to the end justifying the means. I also liked the way he allows himself to belnd into the background and not go off to be punished. Quite self-serving and not a lot of loyalty to his friends shown by that action.

I also liked your characterisations of the rest of the Marauders and Lily. In a few lines you manage to convey a lot - Remus knows what they did was wrong and is ashamed that he didn't do anything about it, Sirius knows what they did was wrong but really doesn't care and is determined to stand by James, James still indignant about Snape's insult, Lily absolutely furious with all of them. Very nice snapshots of each of them. And the end is great. It's an external expression of the clash between Wormtail's view of life and that of his friends, which we have seen already by following his thoughts but which he only fully reveals to them with his final comment.

Overall, a really great job. I look forward to reading more of your work.


Reviewer: ShannonDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59512Chapter: 1
I was in awe of this story the first time I read it on iVillage. I am still in awe of it: the rich and descriptive characterizations, the way there's not one wrong note to Peter's narration, the way it all fits perfectly as a counterpoint to Snape's memory. An excellent piece of writing!

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59347Chapter: 1
What comes to mind so strongly when I read this is the jibe Sirius gives Peter in the Shrieking shack (my apologies for paraphrasing -- I don't have the book handy), when he says that Peter always hid behind the biggest, more talented kids. It never occurred to me before that Peter would do this not only for his own protection, but because he could mete out retribution through them.

Anyhow, what impresses me most about this piece is how you make Peter so incredibly *identifiable*. Haven't we all felt those base impulses, that overwhelming inadequacy, from time to time? (Please, tell me I'm not the only one!) My initial response to what we saw of young Peter in OotP was to be quite disheartened -- I think many of us hoped to find "more" to his character. Well, you've given him that complexity and, for better or worse, kept it perfectly in line with what canon has given us. Kudos! This passage is a particular favorite:

>>How many times have you thanked every god, every fate, every lucky star in the sky, that the coolest boys at Hogwarts are your friends? Their praise is air in your lungs, sun breaking through the thickest of clouds on a winter’s day, salve for the blows of fate’s slings and arrows—You’re amazing, Peter, how do you remember all this stuff? You’ve saved our lives—honestly, you should teach History of Magic instead of old Binns, everybody would stay awake then. You can live for days on the memory of things like that, turning the words over and over in your mind like a miser playing with his Galleons.

Again, well done!


Reviewer: MyfDate: 2003-11-08
Reviewid: 59271Chapter: 1
Oh, that was fantastic. Even though it's not a particularly dramatic piece, I could feel my pulse quicken. I hated that scene so much, and Lily's words were just perfect.

Your descriptions of the four of them sitting down for dinner were just perfect.

And now I'm going to have to ponder why Snape was "blubbing" in the broom closet. Hmmmm....


Reviewer: BJHDate: 2003-11-07
Reviewid: 59181Chapter: 1
Wow! I read and reviewed this sory before so I won't repeat what I've already said. Just congratulations on getting it posted here and maybe we can see some more?


Reviewer: Max ZookDate: 2003-11-06
Reviewid: 59133Chapter: 1
I'll say again what I said on Lockhart's Office -- this is the best portrayal of Wormtail I've seen in fanfic, and some of the best writing of the MWPP persuasion. Congratulations!

Reviewer: HalcyonDate: 2003-11-06
Reviewid: 59132Chapter: 1
Congratulations! You've done a brilliant job and it's nice to finally see it up on the Quill. You've written Peter very well and presented an aspect of him which is as plausible as it is well done. There's something very real about Peter; we've all felt that sinking through the floor embarrassment and awkwardness at one point or another and can empathize. No one in this fic is entirely without blame, not even Lily, which adds alot to its believableness. It fits very well into canon and fleshes the one too short Marauder scene out nicely. Again, great job. Like everyone else, I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Reviewer: shellebelleDate: 2003-11-06
Reviewid: 59105Chapter: 1
This is simply an amazing story; well-written and a perfect Peter characterization in the light of OotP. And the last few lines are chilling. Definitely keep writing!

Reviewer: MegDate: 2003-11-06
Reviewid: 59050Chapter: 1
You are amazing. I've said it once and I'll say it again, you do an excellent job with characterization. Peter was about as three dimensional in this piece as a character can be without actually stepping right off the page. You feel sorry for him, but you can also see little inklings of what he'll become. I'm so glad you're finally on the Sugar Quill!

Reviewer: A.L. de SauveterreDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 59043Chapter: 1
Hurray! I'm so pleased to see this finally here. I've never come across a Peter -- or a Marauders era group -- quite as convincing as this vignette. And your style is utterly non-cliche, compelling and entertaining to read -- even the fourth and fifth time round!

Like everyone else, I'm very much looking forward to see what you come up with next.


Reviewer: MeganDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58974Chapter: 1
Oh, brilliant insight into Pettigrew's mind! How and when did he turn bad? He was a Marauder, but all the small signs were there. Excellent piece of character development.

Reviewer: HeatherDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58973Chapter: 1
OK, as if I didn't praise this story enough when I was doing preliminary readings for you, but I just adore this story. A TRUE Missing Moment, beautifully captured. I'm so pleased to see it posted finally! :) And, I hope that this posting means that we'll get to see more from you soon!

Reviewer: EsraDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58972Chapter: 1
Wow. You've captured a difficult to write character incredibly well and achieved something not many people writing Peter can do, you actually make the reader empathise with him. A really great piece of writing.

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58963Chapter: 1
Good story! I like the way you handled the characters and showed their different points of view, even though Peter was the only one talking.

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58903Chapter: 1
Great to see this here!! I reviewed this when it was in Lockhart's, but want to reiterate what a lovely piece it is. You do such a wonderful job capturing Peter and showing us what's really going on inside his head. Marvelously written - looking forward to more from you, Spartina!

Reviewer: TaraDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58884Chapter: 1
This was really great. I think you really captured the kind of desire for acceptance Peter must have had at school, and it made it really realistic. I love all MWPP fics, anyhow, but this one was particularly well-written. Awesome job! My favorite line was this one:
"Your first night at Hogwarts, Snape decided to take umbrage at something Lily said, and cast a curse on her that had her dropping toads from her mouth every time she tried to speak."
because 'umbrage' reminded me of Umbridge, which reminded me of toads, which cropped up later in the sentence...heehee. I also like the way you integrated Ron's quotes about the Malfoy/ferret extravaganza from GoF into your fic, but making them take on a totally different meaning, making them more desperate than humorous. Basically, I'm trying to say I loved it!!

Reviewer: RachelDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58870Chapter: 1
Wow. This was really interesting, done from a very original perspective. Very well done. I actually *felt* for Peter... which IS something to say. But even more- poor Remus. If only, if only. *sighs* Very nice, I loved the description at the end "heart has begun to race" and I thought your reasoning for why Severus=Snivilus was interesting. Can't wait to see something else from you.

Reviewer: MelyannaDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58851Chapter: 1
I replied to this over in Lockhart's Office, but praise of this piece is certainly worth repeating. The style, while unusual, gives an eerie quality to the scene, because the narrator is suggesting to you that *you* are, in fact, Peter Pettigrew. I feel so profoundly sorry for Peter in this moment, because he sees his friends in a horribly hypocritical moment, when he expresses in words what their actions say. While they may not have had that thought consciously, their actions certainly showed such an attitude. And the last line is so poignant, because really, even if they were making fun of him, he'd at least know where he was. Makes you wonder if it's better to be stepped on and patronized and know where you stand than to look around at people you've lived with for five years and realize that you don't know them, and they don't know you.

Excellent work - looking forward to more.

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58839Chapter: 1
This is brilliant. Every single character is portrayed vividly in three dimensions. All of your details are exquisitely chosen; the descriptions of Peter's small triumphs, his many moments of feeling weak, small and defeated, Gillian Birchett's indignation, lazy professor Tundish with his feet on his desk, Peter's delight with the menu at dinner, Lily "pink as a flamingo," the backstory for "Snivellus."

Your dialogue is also marvelous, the exchange between James and Lily crackles with energy!

And Peter. Poor Peter. Without a doubt, this is one of the very best stories focusing on him that I've ever read. All his insecurities, his weaknesses shown with such clarity and yet written with such compassion. I could literally FEEL that moment of silence with him at the end of the story.

Reviewer: Kate LynnDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58827Chapter: 1
A fabulous missing moment! You captured Peter so well, and the tone and flow of the piece are perfect. I really loved reading this. Thanks so much for sharing it. 8-)

Kate Lynn

Reviewer: CendrillonDate: 2003-11-05
Reviewid: 58798Chapter: 1
I think I left a review of this story you posted in Lockhart's Office, but I'd like to say again how much I truly enjoyed this story. It works well on so many levels and gives the character of Pettigrew a depth that wasn't there before. You've done a wonderful job with this story and I hope to read more of your works.


Reviewer: PortiaDate: 2003-11-04
Reviewid: 58786Chapter: 1
Oh, this is brilliant. I really liked it--a crisp, incisive look into Peter's mind. Though I'm not too sure about the Peter/Ron parallel, if that's what you were trying to do...

<<You’re amazing, Peter, how do you remember all this stuff? You’ve saved our lives—honestly, you should teach History of Magic instead of old Binns, everybody would stay awake then. You can live for days on the memory of things like that, turning the words over and over in your mind like a miser playing with his Galleons.>>
This is great--not only does it show how much each stray compliment means to Peter, but it also hints at a possible, neglected, unglamorous talent of his, History of Magic. He doesn't seem to make much of this talent, though---just MPP's praise of it and use for it.

Reviewer: WrenDate: 2003-11-04
Reviewid: 58774Chapter: 1
Oh wow. This captures Peter beautifully. I am lost for words.

Reviewer: Delleve MiststoneDate: 2003-11-04
Reviewid: 58758Chapter: 1
Powerfully written and written in an interesting style. Hoping to see more from you.

Reviewer: KellieDate: 2003-11-04
Reviewid: 58735Chapter: 1
Yay! It's up. I hope everyone reads and reviews, as this an amazing story.

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