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Review(s): 43
| Reviewer: Reader 2 | Date: 2006-01-04 |
| Reviewid: 137994 | Chapter: 9 |
Chapter 4 (page 38) "When he insulted the Cannons," Harry said, "your dæmon was a ferret, see, and she just… did this back-flip. I'm serious."
Ron stared dumbfounded for a moment, then his face broke into a freckled grin. "Really?" he asked. "Oh yeah… you can see her now, can't you? Where is she?"
… 7 more sentences…and suddenly :
Ron noticed that even Brianag cringed at Mrs. Weasley's tone, and then he saw that his own dæmon had become a titmouse, and she crept next to Ron on the bed, ruffling her gray feathers.
… A little more intervening story ,,,
Chapter 5 (page 41) Hermione and Ron gained the ability to see their own dæmons on the very same day, about a week after Harry met Brianag, and they used almost the exact same words to describe to Harry the experience:
These types of errors dramatically detract from a story. Or is it a multiple choice self interactive tale where we are just supposed to choose what we like and ignore / skim over the parts where you don’t agree with how we think things should have gone? |
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| Reviewer: Julie | Date: 2004-09-20 |
| Reviewid: 98815 | Chapter: 9 |
Aww, so sweet! What a great way to celebrate the New Year. And I love that Brianag saw Aulaia's paw print. Was the wind a response to the "Seriously" conversation? I can just see Sirius doing something like that!
(Responding to your PM in public, here) What do you mean, no sequel? All these hints you've dropped (I'm specifically thinking about Snape, but I'm sure there were others...) just BEG for a sequel. I'll eagerly look forward to ANY sort of related story, though.
Thanks! |
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| Reviewer: Myster Web | Date: 2004-09-19 |
| Reviewid: 98696 | Chapter: 9 |
Oh, I love you.
Really, anyone as good as you deserved to be loved for his/her talents.You are one of the best writers I have ever seen! If you ever write again, make as good as this masterpiece!
Plus, Malfoy had a ferret? HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Thank you! |
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| Reviewer: Julie | Date: 2004-09-18 |
| Reviewid: 98533 | Chapter: 8 |
I'm not sure if I've reviewed this yet or not, but I just re-read it. I've been waiting for the Quill archives to come back, just to re-read this story. :)
Actually, I just finished reading His Dark Materials - which I never would've read otherwise. Interesting series! Thanks for introducing me.
This looks like it's just the beginning of a story. Is it? I hope you have more in the works.
Sorry this isn't more directly on-topic. I've become horrible at reviewing lately. But I wanted you to know that your story made me want to read the "other" "source material". Keep up the good work. |
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| Reviewer: angelina weasley | Date: 2004-08-15 |
| Reviewid: 97454 | Chapter: 8 |
wow. i could tell where you got most of the words and references, but i have to ask: did you use the dark is rising and tamora pierce references. for every one else, references is the word of the day.
heh. |
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| Reviewer: Berte | Date: 2004-07-19 |
| Reviewid: 93098 | Chapter: 8 |
| Ya habibi, what a wonderful merging of my two favourite book series. I just LOVED Mafoy's.. Absolutely fabulous. Terriffic story - do you have more of this, hidden up your sleeve? I would sure love to read it! |
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| Reviewer: Iviolinist | Date: 2004-07-19 |
| Reviewid: 93075 | Chapter: 8 |
Wow, Queenie! That was a really cool story! I was expecting it to be more related to HDM and read the first couple chapters waiting for Will or Lyra to appear. Once I decided they weren't coming, I focused more on the story and enjoyed it better.
I really like the names you chose for the daemons, though I'm sure I can't pronnounce any of them correctly. I liked that Harry's daemon settled after Sirius' death and Ron and Hermione's are still changing. You did a wonderful job of choosing animals that best suit the person; I can tell you've spent a lot of time thinking about that! :-)
The idea of the changling taking Harry's place was a bit weird and out-there, but I guess we have no evidence that they don't exisit.
I liked that you paid homage to Madeline L'Engle with the tesseract. Another brilliant author.
Wonderful story; I should have gone to bed much earlier than ... 2:30am... but I just couldn't stop reading your story! :-) |
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| Reviewer: Alabaster Black | Date: 2004-07-18 |
| Reviewid: 93016 | Chapter: 8 |
Wow......this was amazing!! One of the most original fics I've read in a long time. "His Dark Materials" are some of my favourite books ever, probably just behind HP in order of most-favourite to least-favourite. I loved the idea of them having daemons, and I liked the connection with Sirius and Aulaieia....I just wished there was more Ginny and I would have liked to hear about her adventures in Sweden. Would you consider writing that?? ^_^ Excellent job, I hope to see more from you soon!
Happy Writing,
Alabaster |
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| Reviewer: Lizzy | Date: 2004-07-18 |
| Reviewid: 92906 | Chapter: 8 |
| FERRET! I was actually crying with laughter at that. Took me over half a minute to regain composure and read the rest. Not so good as is 2 am and have probably woken rest of house. |
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| Reviewer: Eleanor | Date: 2004-06-10 |
| Reviewid: 86657 | Chapter: 1 |
| I thought this was absolutely fantastic, will definitely be reading your other pieces too. |
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| Reviewer: Isabella | Date: 2004-04-26 |
| Reviewid: 80200 | Chapter: 7 |
brilliant plot. just so imaginative, with beautiful names and a great writing style. i love His Dark Materials and this crossover does good to its name. again, absolutely brilliant! please update it soon.
Isa =) |
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| Reviewer: GryffinMiraur | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70965 | Chapter: 6 |
| You know, I was a bit skeptical about reading this fic. I wasn't sure that HDM and HP would mix well together. Obviously though, the right author has gotten hold of them. I'm really enjoying this story and I love your attention to details about Egypt. Just think, a story that combines daemons, Harry Potter, and interesting facts about ancient Egypt. Now I'm hoping the next chapter will be up soon. Keep up the good work! |
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| Reviewer: Stagnus | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70949 | Chapter: 6 |
| Your story is so exciting! I can't wait to find out what's going to happen to Harry, Ron and Hermione. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading the next chapter. |
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| Reviewer: ninde | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70942 | Chapter: 6 |
more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Reviewer: Delleve | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70926 | Chapter: 6 |
That was an excellent chapter! Lots of suspense and action there. I love the daemons and Tonks. Everyone is very IC in this chapter. I applaud you on getting Bellatrix right (that's something I've been struggling with in my fics).
I cannot wait for the next chapter! |
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| Reviewer: ninde | Date: 2004-01-30 |
| Reviewid: 68871 | Chapter: 5 |
please write more soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was a great chapter and I absolutely love the idea of ancient Egypt
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ever since I was a little girl, I have been extremely interested in Egypt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Reviewer: mommacat | Date: 2004-01-26 |
| Reviewid: 68485 | Chapter: 5 |
I like how you included tesseracts. And I like the short history on Hatshepsut. Did I miss an explanation of why Bill told Hermione to cut her hair?
Great work (except for the cliffhanger). Keep it up! |
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| Reviewer: Stagnus | Date: 2004-01-25 |
| Reviewid: 68375 | Chapter: 5 |
| That was a creepy yet very effective cliffhanger! I can't wait to hear what is in store for Harry and co. Keep up the great work and please update soon!! Thanks! |
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| Reviewer: insaneperson | Date: 2004-01-24 |
| Reviewid: 68200 | Chapter: 5 |
| awesome story, harry potter and his dark materials fit together nicely aye! i'm suprised u havent got more reviews! just a question, what happens to the daemons when the humans rides a broomstick, wouldnt they get parted or sumthing?? Meh:p Keep going, its great! |
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| Reviewer: Delleve | Date: 2004-01-23 |
| Reviewid: 68150 | Chapter: 5 |
Hmm, intersting chapter. I think Hermione was a little out of character and the British dialouge wasn't exactly spot on but other than that it was great. I half thought Snape was going to be Malfoy because of the ferret deamon, but I was wrong.
Your history on Egypt was very well done and I enjoyed your OC, Ahmar. It's horribe that this fic hasn't gotten more reviews . . . keep doing an awesome job Queenie! |
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| Reviewer: mommacat | Date: 2004-01-11 |
| Reviewid: 66662 | Chapter: 4 |
| Very interesting. I do like the shifting daemons for Ron & Hermione. I haven't read the His Dark Materials, yet, so I can't compare to it & the actions of daemons, but so far you are keeping the HP characters in character. |
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| Reviewer: Jess | Date: 2004-01-11 |
| Reviewid: 66641 | Chapter: 4 |
This seems like a promising story, very interesting. One thing confuses me slightly though:
Ron noticed that even Brianag cringed at Mrs. Weasley's tone, and then he saw that his own dæmon had become a titmouse, and she crept next to Ron on the bed, ruffling her gray feathers.
I thought that Ron couldn't see his Daemon yet, unless I've misunderstood something? Or perhaps this is the first time that he's seen it, but surely then there would be some excitement? |
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| Reviewer: Delleve | Date: 2004-01-11 |
| Reviewid: 66557 | Chapter: 4 |
Grr, the cliffhanger.
This is a fantabulous fic and it's a very well done crossover. Everyone is IC and I absolutely love everyone's daemons.
Please post again soon before I go insane from the suspense! This is a wonderful fic and it deserves way more reviews than it has recieved. Keep going strong Queenie! |
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| Reviewer: ninde | Date: 2004-01-11 |
| Reviewid: 66546 | Chapter: 4 |
this is a great fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You must hurry up and write some more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Reviewer: Delleve Miststone | Date: 2003-12-24 |
| Reviewid: 64668 | Chapter: 3 |
| You've officially sucked me into this fic. I LOVE the choices for everyone's daemons, they're extremely fitting. Are you going to introduce any of the HDM characters are you just going to keep the daemons? Either way is fine with me. This is an excellent fic and I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter! |
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| Reviewer: Delleve Miststone | Date: 2003-12-24 |
| Reviewid: 64665 | Chapter: 2 |
I must have missed a few postings because I was following this story . . . anywho, I love the daemons you've given people, they're very fitting.
I can't wait to find out what fun awaits in Egypt for the trio. I also can't wait to see some HDM characters introduced. It will be interesting to see the characters from two different worlds interact with each other. You're doing great! |
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| Reviewer: Shahrezad1 | Date: 2003-12-09 |
| Reviewid: 62730 | Chapter: 3 |
| Excellent story-I really loved it! The dæmons have sparked my interest and make me want to read more of this fanfic. It's like each person has a private friend and companion that will forever be with them, which is something that everyone wishes to have. It makes me curious as to what type of dæmon each REAL person has, especially my own. And what is Harry's? Hamsters are cute and all but...it doesn't seem to fit his current personality. Well, I'm sure you'll make it interesting, and probably something we won't be expecting. I'll be looking foreward to your next chapter-good luck! |
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| Reviewer: Kate Lynn | Date: 2003-11-26 |
| Reviewid: 60848 | Chapter: 2 |
Lovely dynamics between the Trio, as well as a brilliant Tonks. The plot is very intriguing, and the writing wonderful. It flows well and keeps the tone tight and layered, drawing me in and keeping me engaged. A wonderful read, I can't wait for more. Thanks so much for this! 8-)
Kate Lynn |
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| Reviewer: Keridwen | Date: 2003-11-25 |
| Reviewid: 60686 | Chapter: 2 |
I have to admit, "Sister Nymphadora" cracks me up.
I'm impressed so far by how smoothly you're managing to combine the two worlds. I'm very interested in how this develops. :) I must admit, though, that I'd have thought that the trio are old enough that they'd have settled daemons by (almost) 16.
Great work. |
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| Reviewer: Rachael | Date: 2003-11-14 |
| Reviewid: 59999 | Chapter: 1 |
| OMG! My two favorite things! Harry Potter and His Dark Materials! I'm really going to keep up with this story! Is this Lyra or Will's Oxford? Will Lyra or Will make an appearance (PLEASE say yes!)? I'm so excited! Get the next chapter up soon! |
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| Reviewer: Delleve Miststone | Date: 2003-11-09 |
| Reviewid: 59467 | Chapter: 1 |
| Something tells me I'll like this fic. It's off to a good start. Kudos for using daemons! |
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| Reviewer: GoodGrlzGetSnacks | Date: 2003-11-09 |
| Reviewid: 59355 | Chapter: 1 |
| :gasps: Yes! i luv the 'his dark materials' triolgy, and that with harry potter is the best thing ever! |
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