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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 20

Reviewer: Quad_b_fandgDate: 2006-04-01
Reviewid: 141539Chapter: 1
oh my god you are a horrible horrible person! Yet i loved your story so much... i must say if i didn't know this was a fan-fic site i would have guessed that this was a chapter that had been edited out by J.K.'s revisor! on a scale of 1-10 this is a perfect 100 yet you are so horrible for writing it! lol i just cant believe you put harry through that!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-11-29
Reviewid: 136494Chapter: 1
Quite Excdellent

Reviewer: saiyanwizardgurlDate: 2005-04-11
Reviewid: 119192Chapter: 1
This was wonderful! A few minor grammar errors, but we all make them, so don't worry! ALL of your character portrayals were simply superb! I truly enjoyed this!

Reviewer: AjaxDate: 2004-01-02
Reviewid: 65545Chapter: 1
Very nice. I thought you kept Harry, Remus, James and Sirius very much in character. The way you worded things made Harry's grief over Sirius very poignant and real, I felt everything Harry was feeling.
Two criticisms, though:
First of all, I didn't like the Severus/Lily bit. It's not that I have something against the pairing, but within the scope of this story, it felt unnecessary and didn't contribute anything to the plot. From what I understood, your story is mainly about Harry coming to grips with his grief over Sirius, and the SS/LP scene had absolutely nothing to do with this.
The second thing is that the story needs a bit more proofreading, as there were some misspellings of canon names and such.
Other than that, though, I liked it a lot. The last scene, with Sirius hugging Harry, almost made me cry. Overall, very touching.

Reviewer: *WhiteWolf*15Date: 2003-11-29
Reviewid: 61170Chapter: 1
Oh Wow! Am i the first person to say a Comment? Yay!!!
*Runs Down the stairs doing a dance*
This was a wonderful story and well writen!!!
But Sirius CAN'T be dead!!!!!!

Reviewer: sbDate: 2003-11-27
Reviewid: 60949Chapter: 1
sorry... lily .. severus ?
its a nice story but thats just too cheesy.
youre writing story is good although maybe ure trying too hard to be dark? no offence
i cldnt go past the lily severus bit and read the rest
sorry sorry
its off canon.. grossly off
well to me anyway.. u cld be right in the end but this just doesnt seem to b the direction tt JK is heading in

Reviewer: SennaDate: 2003-11-27
Reviewid: 60945Chapter: 1
There are just so many things I love about this that I don't know how or where to begin telling you. First, I just loved the angry!Sirius at the beginning in Harry's dream, and I loved the contrast of the happy!Sirius in the dream at the end. Second, I absolutely adored the meeting between Snape and Lily, it was so emotional. Your Snape was such a piteous, tortured soul. Third, I loved the meeting between James and Sirius and the fact that James believed so vehemently that Remus was not the spy and that Sirius believed he was. Fourth, I think my favorite memory was the one in which Remus went to the decimated Potter's house and was rummaging through the rubble to find his dead friends. Your writing was so powerful that I could see the dead couple lying amidst the rubble. Fantastic. And then, of course, I loved the talk between Harry and Remus; they were both so in cannon. Finally, the picture at the end....what a heart-wrenching moment! You have such a way with writing. Excellent work!


Reviewer: NicoleDate: 2003-11-23
Reviewid: 60583Chapter: 1
That was very sad but very very good. You are an excellent writer!

Reviewer: moonyDate: 2003-11-15
Reviewid: 60083Chapter: 1
Great story! I loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: NigellaDate: 2003-11-11
Reviewid: 59778Chapter: 1
I found this very powerful and extremely moving; despite its length and size I read it straight through and didn't notice the time passing! The pensieve scenes were so detailed and convincing; James crying especially - I got the feeling that was a real one-off - and Harry hearing himself crying ... wow! The whole idea was excellent.

I do agree with a couple of other reviewers that it could do with being split into chapters, more spaced out and larger, just to make it easier to read. Also, there are a few spelling mistakes and names without capital letters etc ... don't get me wrong, the content is wonderful - it just needs a little tidying up! Hope you don't mind me saying so, and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Reviewer: ariosDate: 2003-11-10
Reviewid: 59604Chapter: 1
Wonderful story!

Reviewer: AnnieDate: 2003-11-10
Reviewid: 59576Chapter: 1
That was a fantastic it made me cry though
i cant wit for more of you stories i hope they will all be as teribbly good as this one was you really know how to write and you could see that by the first scentance alot of peole dont make sense or dont really seem like they want to write but you do

Reviewer: AlkariDate: 2003-11-10
Reviewid: 59545Chapter: 1
I very rarely get tears in my eyes when I read fics, but yours had my eyes misting up.

"Peter…well. He just kind of attached himself to us. He seemed like a nice kid though, and when you’re young, what else matters?" That is an excellent interpretation of Peter, and rings very true. You seem to have caught so much in just a few words.

The Pensieve scenes were superbly done, and were very astute and telling observations of the people involved. Snape and Lily - her rejection of him, and his utter despair at a love that was never going to be returned. "Harry felt almost ill watching Severus Snape struggle to hold himself together. Seeing Snape upset was sickeningly strange."

The discussion between Harry and Remus was
so sad, touching, and very revealing. I can only hope we get something like this in Books 6 or 7.


Reviewer: sophieDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59494Chapter: 1
that was very sad. i was crying the whole time! man oh man! the story was lovely. brilliant. i hope you keep writing stories like this one. everyone was in character. it was amazing when lupin used ron and hermione when he explained how it felt to had thought sirius was the betrayer.

absolutly wonderful. keep up the good work!

Reviewer: LeaDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59476Chapter: 1
I'm crying. Wow, you captured Harry and Lupin well.

Reviewer: MeggieDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59440Chapter: 1
Wow this was really really good- I love how you had the dream at the beginning and the end, except changed it, to show Harry accepting Sirius's death. Harry was still being a git to lupin but after the fifth book, what do we expect?? some parts of this made me cry *sob*...and the pensieve memories were very good. Sequal please???

Reviewer: TammiraaaaaaDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59429Chapter: 1
Neat idea, I think you should break your next story down into smaller paragraphs to make it easier to read, and a larger font would be great too.

Reviewer: LeelaDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59423Chapter: 1
WOW! Awesome piece of work! Very moving and powerful!

Reviewer: FaelaernDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59387Chapter: 1
My God. I'm a guy, I don't cry terribly often. I've cried at stories before, but not too often. This one did it. You are perfect at capturing emotions, guilt, grieving, sorrow...and hope. I'm printing this out and putting it in a portfolio. It's definitely something I have to hang on to!

Reviewer: DreamerzDate: 2003-11-09
Reviewid: 59367Chapter: 1
Though I haven't finished chapter 1 yet..and I will tommorow..I'd like to say WOW! This is just so perfectly genius! With a mix of mystery, intense dreams(I have woken up in a full sweat before but woah!)as well as the fabulous imagery you weave into every line!
Brilliant simply..that!


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