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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 35
| Reviewer: story645 | Date: 2004-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 74124 | Chapter: 1 |
| Great fic, you really get inside Cho's head. Good use of narrative structure to only hint at the person being Cho through out the fic. Very well written and powerful, especially by putting names and lilltl tid bits that show what she would have thought. |
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| Reviewer: MLY | Date: 2004-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 73977 | Chapter: 1 |
| i was touched, this was a amazing story, it kept you waiting until the end to find out who it was, i even read it twice, to see it from a different perspective beautiful. |
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| Reviewer: Jenn | Date: 2004-01-01 |
| Reviewid: 65424 | Chapter: 1 |
| wow. this is such a powerful piece, i like how we dont find out who is thinking all this until the end. very sad. |
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| Reviewer: Lenitie the HP Maniac | Date: 2003-12-02 |
| Reviewid: 61622 | Chapter: 1 |
| Cute. I had a fun time trying to guess who was Narrorating. I would've never guessed Cho. Write more stories like this. |
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| Reviewer: lonleyoutcast | Date: 2003-12-02 |
| Reviewid: 61593 | Chapter: 1 |
| dude you killed off like everbod. even the Creevey brothers. it was a good story none the less |
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| Reviewer: Robin | Date: 2003-12-02 |
| Reviewid: 61537 | Chapter: 1 |
| Simply amazing. It took me about half way through to realize that it was Cho...and the mystery only makes it more beautiful. Well done! |
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| Reviewer: Naomi (like my username) | Date: 2003-12-02 |
| Reviewid: 61514 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very nice, but pretty depressing. I new it was Cho as soon as I saw Marietta's name, lol. |
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| Reviewer: Nohwrah B. | Date: 2003-12-01 |
| Reviewid: 61430 | Chapter: 1 |
That was so sad.. I've got tears in my eyes.. When I saw Remus' name, I just felt my stomach churn.. Did you really have to kill him? :)
Wonderfully written, nonetheless.. |
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| Reviewer: sick girl *sniff* | Date: 2003-12-01 |
| Reviewid: 61420 | Chapter: 1 |
| that's so sad. I don't really like it, to tell you the truth, but it was written quite well. |
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| Reviewer: Ara Kane | Date: 2003-12-01 |
| Reviewid: 61397 | Chapter: 1 |
| This gave me the chills. I loved the way you interspersed the names with memories of how the people lived/died, and how these came faster and faster in the end. *shivers* |
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| Reviewer: Sonic | Date: 2003-12-01 |
| Reviewid: 61365 | Chapter: 1 |
| You seem to be missing Diggory.....however, pretty depressing.. which is for this piece, a compliment. :) |
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| Reviewer: Nova | Date: 2003-12-01 |
| Reviewid: 61352 | Chapter: 1 |
Wow. This had me in tears. I really like that it doesn't say who's narrating until the very end--although I was naughty and took a peak before I finished reading.
I like it that Cho, despite not knowing all of the people on the wall very well, still mourned for them. Very realistic. Thank you for sharing it. |
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| Reviewer: Delleve Miststone | Date: 2003-11-30 |
| Reviewid: 61326 | Chapter: 1 |
| This was the most chilling thing I have ever read. The whole time I was wondering who this was but torwads the end I figured it out. |
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| Reviewer: Fluffy_Rose | Date: 2003-11-30 |
| Reviewid: 61268 | Chapter: 1 |
*sobs*
That was so good!
I was so sure it was Neville until the part about his parents, but it made sense with it being Cho as well.
It seemed so real, like it could just follow from whatever will happen in the end. It was so realistic in the way that a lot of the important people and the people you didn't want to die DID die, and that's how it's going to be.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but it was truly excellent - achingly sad and beautiful at the same time.
Wonderful.
Fluffy_Rose |
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| Reviewer: Katie Bell | Date: 2003-11-30 |
| Reviewid: 61261 | Chapter: 1 |
omg
That was undescribable. I mean I can't even type.
I have recently lost someone in my family and I thought I had gotten over it (stupid me)and this...this...brought it all back.
It was so sad.
I am really really crying now.
It took me a while to figure out who was narrating the story. THen I got to Marietta and well I knew.
That was too sad.
Good but REALLY SAD.
I'm going to stop typing now.
Bye
~~Katie Bell |
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| Reviewer: ivy & Gracie | Date: 2003-11-30 |
| Reviewid: 61251 | Chapter: 1 |
| sorry to clutter your review board. the jack ichijouji story is called "laughter." |
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| Reviewer: ivy & Gracie | Date: 2003-11-30 |
| Reviewid: 61250 | Chapter: 1 |
this is a very well-written piece; keeping the narrator a mystery until the end (well, we started to suspect it when she was thinking about marietta edgecomb) meant it could have been almost anyone, which of course, it really could have; the tragedies were everyone's story.
how sad to read about the deaths of all those people we love; with each new name we were thinking **no! not him!** or **you can't kill her!**
also, you chose a nice 'voice' for the narration; very terse and we could almost hear the sadness and regret. we liked how you said cho's mother died of leukemia; it sort of heaps tragedy on tragedy while reminding us that the rest of life was still going on during these wars.
now, for a little constructive criticism, but only because you seem like you have some real talent and we think you can do a little better:
angsty/sad fics have been pretty thick on the ground lately, and after awhile they can be pretty hard to stomach if they're just sad-sad-sad. that gets beyond mourning and into depression, which of course, you alluded to in the disraeli quote at the beginning. sometimes a story is actually sadder if you temper it with a little humor; bittersweet is more poignant than sadness. (for a great example of a fic that makes you laugh while you sob, you might be interested in reading jack ichijouji's one-shot letter to harry from sirius (we forget the title.)
also, the last line; "'Yes,' I say with a smile. 'Let's go home.'" that smile just came out of nowhere and doesn't seem to fit the rest of the story.
anyway, we really do look forward to reading more of your work. you're very talented! |
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| Reviewer: Arnel | Date: 2003-11-30 |
| Reviewid: 61235 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow! This is GOOD! I went through many of the characters as I read, guessing whose POV this was written from and it took me until the very last to finally decide on Cho. I really liked this story and how suspensefull it is. I look forward to reading more of your work. |
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| Reviewer: Don | Date: 2003-11-30 |
| Reviewid: 61217 | Chapter: 1 |
Nice work. You use an interesting construction to build tension. I think it works well. I like her musings on death. I'm not sure why she seems to blame herself so much. You make it seem like she opted out of action when she ought to have fought. Interesting POV, too. The fact that Cho's mother died of cancer, but is just as dead, is another interesting comparison.
Good work! |
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