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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 696

Reviewer: silverfeatherDate: 2008-01-29
Reviewid: 150475Chapter: 9
You are such a great writer! You had me fuming at the part where Umbridge got all the credit. Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: LupiniaDate: 2007-12-10
Reviewid: 150127Chapter: 35
Congrats on seeing this through to the end!

It's a little bit unsatisfying to have an ending that leaves plot threads unresolved, but since you were writing the equivalent of book 6 out of a septology, it's understandable.

I have to say the whole explaining/theorizing of the connection between Harry and Voldemort, and their connections to other people and magical items, was a little hard to follow. There was a lot of information that seemed all crammed in the final couple chapters and I'm afraid it didn't really catch my interest (probably b/c it was so different from what we now know is canon; but since your story complies with OotP-canon, it was unavoidable).

There was a nice little interaction between Luna and Hermione at the very end of the alternative chapter segment.

Again, I realize you were writing book 6 out of 7, but a word about Dumbledore's condition in the body of the story wouldn't have gone amiss IMHO (yes, I saw your reply to my earlier review regarding this same topic).

I'm not feeling very inspired to write a more original review (my Muse must have gone on a coffee break), so on a final note I'd just like to thank you for providing me, and every other SoS reader, with a really enjoyable reading time.
Cheers!

Reviewer: LupiniaDate: 2007-11-30
Reviewid: 150052Chapter: 34
Hi, thanks for not giving up!

It's nice how you bring the story full circle, with Harry having a Somnapathic conversation with Fortuna & Fortescue, like all the way back into the summer. Except this time, he's obtained a certain amount of control on the situation, and by the looks of it he's going to actually benefit from the whole mind intrusion business.
It's not specific to SoS, and it's not even specific to the Harry Potter series in general, but I always like it when the hero of a story finds him/herself at a disadvantage in a given situation, somehow manages to get a certain or total control on the previously detrimental situation, and eventually gains advantage from it. Am I even making any sense? What I'm trying to say is that you did well.

You are right in thinking I do not participate in competitive sports. So I'll take your word for it regarding Ginny's performance.

By all means not an essential point, but a question has been nagging me for quite a while: how do you pronounce 'Heinrich'? I don't speak German at all. (BTW, while we're on the topic of foreign names, I'd be very grateful if someone could clue me on how to pronounce 'Ginevra', Ginny's full name.)

What's up with Dumbledore? Is he still in his protective magic bubble? I guess I'll find out in the final chapter.

Hoping to see the next chapter very soon! ;-)

Reviewer: smokeyDate: 2007-11-26
Reviewid: 150001Chapter: 34
it's nice that you're finishing up this story
I guess we won't be seeing many stories like this
since DH has been published

Reviewer: LupiniaDate: 2007-10-17
Reviewid: 149659Chapter: 33
'Deathly Hallows' finished and digested, I just re-read your story, as promised. And here come my reviews. (I'm afraid this is going to be a very long post, but it was easier than posting a different review for each chapter. Hope you don't mind!)

Ch1 to 3: Good beginning at the Dursleys. I absolutely loved the "Great Gum Assault"! You created a very nice build-up to Harry's chaotic departure from the Dursleys, starting with the dirty jeans and the missing gum, and ending up with the hiccupping, bubble-blowing, poor washing-machine.
Very funny interactions with the Dursleys and Dudley in particular. Very funny letters to Ron and Hermione about OWL results. I also liked a lot the twins' letter with the invisible message informing Harry when he could leave.

Some of my favourite lines:
<< Basic fairness would have dictated that Harry's sleep not be disturbed any further that night. Basic fairness had never been Harry's faithful companion. (from ch2) >> So true... !
<< Wasn't that interesting. She'd been with them barely five minutes and already Ron and Hermione were bickering. Much as he wished they wouldn't, Harry resigned himself to the inevitable. They couldn't be stopped. They could only be distracted. (from ch6) >> There are some forces of nature against which you are completely powerless. Ron/Hermione bickering is one of those.

Ch7 (the Burrow): At the beginning of the chapter, I don't like much the way you just enumerated several events so as to push the story along. I don't mean to sound bossy about it, but it seems a bit like a bout of laziness :-}

<< [they] speculated about who or what Dumbledore may have hired as Defense teacher. (from ch7) >> The "or what" in there is a particularly nice touch! *sniggers*

Ch8 (Diagon Alley): From your author's notes, I gather that you made extensive references to Monty Python sketches. It is my sad duty to report that all of these went completely unnoticed to me. Unfortunately, the Monty Pythons just don't seem to be as popular here in France as they are in the UK (and the US?) Therefore, no Monty Python jokes for me... :-(

Ch9 (Hogwarts Express): I liked how the DA members organized themselves to respond to Umbridge's lies.

<< At the moment however the dour Potions Master was engaged in his own personal start of term ritual: glowering at the new Defense Against The Dark Arts professor. (from ch10) >> Nice to know some things never change! (HBP and DH notwithstanding)

Ch11 to 13: I understand why you delayed the scene when Harry, McGonagall and the Quidditch team discuss the team captaincy (you obviously didn't want to distract your readers from Harry's illness and his emotional breakdown over Sirius's death in the Shrieking Shack), but a two-chapter delay is too long in my opinion, and only confuses the reader.

This is not part of the story, but it was too hilarious for me to pass up. It's one of your author's notes from ch14:
<< To the anonymous reviewer who wants more H/G fluff: no can do. There is quite enough of it already. If the universe of HP fan fiction was an Olympic swimming pool, the quantity of fluff in it would be so great you could do backflips off the 3 meter platform without fear of injury. Something resembling fluff MIGHT show up at the end, but it will be equivalent to the cotton padding a dentist packs into your mouth after pulling out your wisdom teeth. >> :D You really do have a way with words!

Ch16 (Saint Brutus): I really, really liked what you did with the Mark Evans character. I remember when a vast fraction of the HP fandom thought he was Harry's long-lost cousin or something (that was before JKR put an end to these theories of course); your way of integrating Evans in the story is much more convincing and satisfying.
And I wasn't particularly shocked by Harry's bullying act; he had reasons to be furious and he could have done much worse to the little twerp.

Ch18 (Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff): Your slow-paced Quidditch match made for an interesting and refreshing change from the usual fast-played games. But it's difficult to understand why Ginny's performance was so bad compared to her usual Quidditch skills; you said it was a psychological impact of seeing the others playing so badly, but it doesn't really add up for me.

Ch20 to 21 (X-Mas Angst): I liked the pseudo-romance scene in the snowy backyard. Very funny on several levels!
However, I did not particularly care for Harry's outburst to Molly and his consecutive angst and misery. It plays its purpose in the story, but to be honest, while I was reading I was getting impatient and thinking "OK Harry, just get over it now!" And the adults' reactions were so inadequate regarding Harry's state-of-mind (particularly McGonagall's with those forced written apologies). Which was your intent, of course.
Concerning McGonagall, I find it a bit weird that she's depicted here as a very strict person with absolutely no understanding of Harry's feelings and motives, whereas in ch10 she was showing genuine concern for his coping-up after Sirius's death.
All in all, this section was a bit too much angsty to my taste (but then I'd been forewarned by the title of ch20).

Just for fun: in an author's note from ch21, you quote a reviewer: "Just PLEASE don't make Ron kiss Hermione passionately in the middle of a blow-out fight now." Somehow, I don't think JKR heard you... ;-)

Ch22 (Gryffindor vs. Slytherin): Poor Harry. Second match of the year when he's in less than top form...
Now seems as good a time as any to say that introducing poisonings as the main mystery of SoS was a nice idea, and very well handled, too! Apart from the obvious necessities of the plot, it provided several hilarious scenes in the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey (hilarious for us readers; much less for Harry, poor boy). And of course, poisonings gave you the perfect excuse to use our favourite red-herring/scapegoat: Prof. Snape, Potions Master. (I think I just coined a new word: "Snapegoat." Maybe THAT's what Aberforth was doing with those goats all this time?... Erm, sorry, end of silly time.)

Ch25+: For someone who says shows little interest in writing fluff, you sure did a fine job of writing Flirtatious!Ginny and Ensnared!Harry.

<< "I must offer my congratulations, Harry. This is uncharted magical territory even for me." (Dumbledore, from ch26) >> That's our Harry in a nutshell. Always the exception to the rule.

And boy, was that a nasty cliffhanger at the end of chapter 26!

Ch27 to 30 (climax): I've got a few issues with these chapters. The action is very entertaining to read, but I think some characters don't act very convincingly. I'll try to explain:
For instance, it's difficult to believe that Ginny and the few people who were in the library could have remained oblivious to the situation in the Great Hall when 1) the students reacted so noisily to the poisoning (I quote: "the Great Hall erupted from end to end in shrieks, wails and curses"), 2) you wrote just a few lines earlier that 3 hrs (which is quite a long time) had elapsed since chaos erupted, and 3) during these 3 hrs, the non-affected students made several trips to the hospital wing with sick people. All in all, it seems to me it was too great a commotion to be ignored during 3 hrs by the people in the library.
Then, upon learning of the general poisoning, Ginny's reaction is not to go and help the sick or to be glad that some people remained sane, but to get cranky over the lack of edible food in the castle. That sounds very egotistical, and not like Ginny IMO. She then goes into bossy mode with the kitchen elves, which is also not very like her but can be explained by the crisis situation.
Later on, it seems nobody except Harry cares a twit about the fate of Hogwarts: it sounds like everybody don't give a damn about anything and just want to sleep. I realise they don't have Harry's insight about Voldemort's projects, but three quarters of the school have just been poisoned, Death Eaters have entered the grounds, some weapon is attacking Hogwarts on a magical level, plus Diagon Alley is being attacked at the same time. That doesn't sound like the kind of situation when you just sit down, twiddle your thumbs and feel relaxed enough to fall asleep. It is true that these persons have been poisoned earlier, and some after-effect may now take its toll and render them all sleepy, but if that's so, maybe you should have explained it more plainly.

I realise I just sounded very negative, but these chapters also have a lot of good things. I think I said in an earlier review that I liked how you interspersed the action with moments of dry humour (like Harry's reactions to the various Death Eaters' attacks; the sulfur turtles; his realising with horror there may be something between Hedwig and Alastor the owl; or (my favourite) Buckbeak's imperious request that Harry pays his respects).
That was also an excellent twist over the use of Dumbledore's enchanted coins to find Harry.

<< "Well if you thought tiring me out would make me give up, you're wrong!" Harry angrily informed the universe. (from ch30) >> Poor Harry. Story of his life. But that's why we love him.

Ch31 (the Staff): When I read your depiction of the magical plane with people featuring as clouds of energy, I was forcibly reminded of a book I read not very long ago: "Ptolemy's Gate" by Jonathan Stroud (Book 3 of the "Bartimaeus Trilogy"); in this book too, there's a plane where beings exist as drifting swirls of energy (to put it simply). Did you do it on purpose, or is it just a coincidence?

Several excellent quotes in this chapter:
<< Or perhaps he'd asked the wrong way. Enchanted rooms were fussy about those things sometimes. >> This is the kind of sentence that makes me love the Hogwarts universe. ("What did the dustbins do?") :-)
<< At the sound of the hinges creaking Voldemort looked over, saw Harry crouching at the mouth of the trap door, and fairly ignited with rage. Well that was bloody brilliant. Maybe next time you could knock over a few suits of armor too. >> :D That cracked me up!
<< Ignoring the semi-omnipotent insane dark wizard standing hardly more than a pace away was not a promising strategy for survival. >> "Semi-omnipotent"; should be a contradiction of terms, and yet it's perfect! On another matter, Harry's *whole life* is not a promising strategy for survival ;-)
<< Some irritating busybody started shaking his shoulder. "Harry? Harry? Are you all right?" Harry waved his right hand ambiguously. He was bloody far from all right. They should have settled for determining if he was still alive. >> That's right; let's focus on attainable goals.

Ch32: I think only you could be devoting 5 paragraphs to getting Harry from on his bed to sprawled on the floor. Another great hospital wing scene!
<< Here the stubborn streak that had carried him through so many disasters became a liability. >> You really don't know how to make life easier for yourself, do you, Harry?

Don't worry, I'm now reaching the end of this very long review. Please receive my congratulations and deepest thanks if you've read this far.
I'm sure you know what I expect you to do now, don't you? You don't??? Well, just write and post the final chapter(s), for Merlin's sake! The end is near and I want to know how this story wraps up. Pretty please?

(PS-I hereby apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes resulting from English not being my first language.)

Reviewer: SpellBoundDate: 2007-08-13
Reviewid: 148816Chapter: 33
Hi! I have just spent the last few days reading SoS. I have liked it very much as a story. I don't think it fits in too well with some of the things we know of Harry and the rest of the characters’, but it has had its moments. I am an avid Harry Potter fan, but obviously not avid enough, because I have only just discovered FanFic. I have started in recent postings and will continue down until the end of that list, then I suppose I will go through each author. I will also check back periodically for your last chapter(s). I found it interesting how you changed things after HBP, and now after DH; I am sure you will pull some of that into here as well. However, just so you know, the things you pulled from HBP struck a bit false in your story, it was apparent that it had not come from you. In addition, one similarity you made before the release of HBP was that both your Harry and JKR's Harry gave Ron keeper gloves for Christmas. Also, there are still small grammar errors that I noticed, mostly misspellings, but I certainly didn't keep track of them and they were more amusing than distracting. For example, the confusion between breath and breathe. I know I had much more to say but words are failing me now.

I have really enjoyed JKR's books, all of them, I didn't find any of them incomplete or unsatisfactory like so many have, just wanted to say that since you did comment about your disappointment in one of your author's notes. Finally yet importantly, how did you respond to Snape's memories? At least it told you that Dumbledore knew of Draco Malfoy's attempts and just was indifferent to them. To wrap this up, I do like your writing and would be very interested if you did write a book, I too am a stingy cheapskate, but one thing I spend tons of money on is books, so I would even buy it. I know you are planning on it and it may take some time, so if you are gathering a listserv of any form or function, I would like to be added to it. My email address is Sherellyn1621@aol.com.

Oh, I also find it very interesting that you are older and male, your writing style does not give you away at all. I found the beginning chapters to be much more publishable than some of the later ones; you just seemed a little rushed on them... Well I suppose that is the last of the fragmented thoughts I have for you. If you ever need a secondary beta, I'm more than able at least as far as grammar goes, not sure how much help I could be if you're looking for someone to reign you in from going on abstract tangents occasionally or run on sentences it seems... Lol, thanks for the experience, I review again after the next chapter(s).

Sherellyn

Reviewer: SpellBoundDate: 2007-08-13
Reviewid: 148815Chapter: 33
Hi! I have just spent the last few days reading SoS. I've liked it very much as a story. I don't think it fits in too well with what we know of Harry and the rest of the charecters, but it's had it's moments. I am an avid Harry Potter fan, but obviously not avid enough, because I have only just discovered FanFic.

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2007-07-19
Reviewid: 148603Chapter: 33
Rats, I was sure that they'd finally got Voldemort. Odd about Harry and his wand, too - I can't guess what's going on there yet. Even better that Harry didn't die... Hope I'm still saying that in several days...

Reviewer: LupiniaDate: 2007-07-15
Reviewid: 148569Chapter: 32
Haven't read the latest chapter yet, but just a quick word to praise the laudable effort you put in the standard disclaimers before each chapter. Must be tough (but fun) to find a new one each time!

Reviewer: King of PainDate: 2007-07-15
Reviewid: 148566Chapter: 32
I recalled reading this story long ago, only to grow frustrated at the long hiatus in your postings. However, in the past 10 days or so I have been able to go back and reread the old and all the new chapters you have posted up to 31. I appreciate your commitment to finishing this story!
By and large, I consider it to be a well written and engaging story. I do feel as if these last few chapters have kind of rushed things along, but not so much as to leave me feeling short changed. Your Harry differs from how I would imagine Harry to be at the end of book seven in that he still hasn't developed his potential for greatness to its full extent(I am quite anxious, as are milions of others , to read it in 5 more days-and yes, I know your story isn't to be considered a book seven at any rate)
Anyway, I wish you well in your further writing pursuits. I disagree with your assessment that fanfiction will drop off for HP, I think too many people will not be content to let things end however JKR has ended it. I for one will be looking for a few well written explorations of life after Hogwarts-even if Harry doesn't make the journey there in JKR's version.
Thanks again for a great story, and I am looking forward to your home stretch.
Take care!!!
James(King of Pain)

Reviewer: smokeyDate: 2007-07-15
Reviewid: 148559Chapter: 32
finally had a chance to review
great idea, finding Voldi unguarded at the keep

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2007-07-14
Reviewid: 148549Chapter: 32
An asthmatic snake coughing up a live cat, huh? lol! I do think you've touched on something very likely: that Ginny's love for Harry (and vice versa) will be an important factor in turning the tide. We'll find out soon!

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2007-07-12
Reviewid: 148525Chapter: 31
Thanks for all the action!

I liked the idea of the portkey galleons backfiring.

Reviewer: smokeyDate: 2007-07-12
Reviewid: 148521Chapter: 31
another good chapter
though I have to admit, having Voldi figure out what the coin meant -- did he have enough info, or did Snape leak something.

Reviewer: PygmyPuffDate: 2007-07-11
Reviewid: 148517Chapter: 31
Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while--been very busy. I really like where this is going--the last couple chapters have had amazing action. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next, why the acromantulas showed up, what happened to Ron Hermione and Ginny, and which way the centaurs go. Post again soon!

Reviewer: LupiniaDate: 2007-07-11
Reviewid: 148516Chapter: 31
I liked in this chapter how you brought some levity in the (for the students) horrible situation by interspersing humourous comments and moments (the owls! :D) in the action-packed tale. It produces a back-and-forth movement which keeps the reader on their toes, alternating between chuckles and "oh my, how will Harry manage to save his skin this time?"
I don't resent your erm... borrowing the Hufflepuff sett idea from a fellow writer, but it might have been a good idea to hint at the existence of the sett before in the course of the story, because it feels a little like it was a "cheap" solution to the students' dilemma.
Or maybe you did give this hint and I just forgot it. Which brings me to the notion that I'll definitely need to re-read SoS from the start, and this time I'll try to post constructive reviews.
But don't expect anything until well after I can get a hand on DH. No offense, but I've got to keep my life's priorities straight! ;-)

Reviewer: garret jaxDate: 2007-07-09
Reviewid: 148495Chapter: 30
banging chapter as always and thanks for not abandoning it. I believe in one authours note you were thinking of just that due to lack of reviews..... I must admit that did put me off a tad it rather rankled actually. However it is a good story and I am glad I stayed with it. I thank you sincerely for not giving up I know it is hard to do this without apparent support from the readers but we are there! some like my self are reluctant to leave reviews usually (just a personal idiosincracy mind :) ) while other just do not. Sorry for rambling hang in there I and my wife would love to see how this ends and when it does I think you can take a place among those on this site who deliver a finished version of a rolicking good yarn in JKR's sand box.
TILL NEXT TIME
scott

Reviewer: PaulabookwormDate: 2007-07-09
Reviewid: 148492Chapter: 30
Hi Aragog, I'm still reading SoS - I'm just not consistent at leaving reviews. I'd love the idea of Grawp twirling death eaters - but the idea that the spiders are going to insert their pincers into the action is quite terrifying! And poor Ron will have kittens when he sees them again... "The Evil Six" is excellent, and I'm glad that some of the herd have finally got the real picture with Firenze. I get really riled with their "it's not our problem and we can't interfere with the stars" attitude. Cheers! Paula

Reviewer: smokeyDate: 2007-07-09
Reviewid: 148484Chapter: 30
How you've worked this story is very JK. Building up
plots over months, taking day to day objects and making them important.
Keep writing.

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2007-07-09
Reviewid: 148478Chapter: 30
Acromantulas on top of everything else? Ack! Is there anything that can go right for poor Harry?

Reviewer: LupiniaDate: 2007-07-05
Reviewid: 148447Chapter: 29
Hi Aragog, I've been following your story since you started posting it all those months -years!- ago and I was glad to discover you decided to share the end with your readers.
It is true that a 6th year story doesn't seem very appealing when Book 7 is just days ahead, but Staff of Serpents makes for a very entertaining read. Even if I'm afraid your fic doesn't make the first place in my personal list of best HP fics, it sure belongs in the top ten.
Keep writing please, and don't be disheartened, you still have a few readers who've been patient enough to overlook your JKR-like writing time!

Reviewer: CassieDate: 2007-07-03
Reviewid: 148436Chapter: 29
Wow, I've just reread from the start because to be fair, it has been a while. I'm really impressed. I really like your characterisation of Harry as a leader and I'm pleased there isn't too much fluff clouding the real story as there is in so much fan fiction. I'm looking forward to reading the next bit and really hoping I don't have to wait another 2 years for the end of the story!

Reviewer: smokeyDate: 2007-07-03
Reviewid: 148432Chapter: 29
I was excited when I saw your story appear a few weeks ago. I had forgotten about it, but I remembered I had enjoyed it.
I've been re reading it. It's great to go back to fifth year, to enjoy such things as quidditch, the DA, Mark Evans.
I hope you keep writing.

Reviewer: chocaholicDate: 2007-07-02
Reviewid: 148420Chapter: 29
Diggle! The little worm... Sounds like things are really hitting the fan now!

Reviewer: mrrobertsiiiDate: 2007-07-02
Reviewid: 148419Chapter: 29
Thanks for the action!

Luna made me laugh.

I wonder if the staff can suck the magic out of dementors.

Looking forward to seeing how Harry & Co. stop Voldy this time. Unless it blows a fuse, the staff looks unstoppable.

(As the staff sucked in all his magic, Voldemort could feel his body start to shrivel. Blast! No matter how much the hurry, he should have known not replace the staff's fuse with knut.)

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2007-06-25
Reviewid: 148374Chapter: 28
I like the mass poisoning idea. But Dumbledore's putting himself out of help's reach was great.

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2007-06-25
Reviewid: 148373Chapter: 26
Glad to see this fic up and running again! Read through it once again.

I was most struck by Wormtail's complete hopelessness and despair. Haven't come across a Wormatail like that before (or that I can remember).

Reviewer: ChocaholicDate: 2007-06-22
Reviewid: 148316Chapter: 28
The plot thickens! I'm glad you have the next few chapters written, because I'm really curious now to see what happens.

Reviewer: phoenix4everDate: 2007-06-20
Reviewid: 148301Chapter: 27
Wow, me is first to review!!

First, excellent chapter! I read the story about 6 months ago but it's lodged itself quite nicely in mind. I could remember most of it!

Secondly, in A/N, you commented about "Fight or Flight" instincts. I agree with you on the point that Lily's sacrifice did more to Harry than to save his life. Lily's character is just coming out of shadows since Slughorn came. Because James' friends came into Harry's life later, we know a bit about him and because of Patronus, James is there in the story. Lily isn't. I do believe there is much more to her character than just one sacrifice. So really, I liked your viewpoint about it!

Back to the story. I was thrilled to see an update :) And happy to know few more coming. Will keep waiting for next chap.

Reviewer: BackInBlackDate: 2007-02-09
Reviewid: 147157Chapter: 26
Wow, I hope you haven't given up on this story. I've spent the last two days reading it, and really enjoyed it.

Reviewer: phoenix4everDate: 2006-12-31
Reviewid: 146685Chapter: 26
Umm.. is there going to be an update?? You said there would probably be 3/4 more chapters in your author's notes. Please finish it. I want to know who was behind poisoned mushrooms! And everything else too... Please finish it? Please??

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-11-13
Reviewid: 146171Chapter: 26
BTW – I also loved your disclaimers.
Ex - This is J.K. Rowling's house; I'm just here borrowing towels and socks.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-11-11
Reviewid: 146143Chapter: 26
I would like to finih reading this. Have you posted the remainder elsewhere?
Quitting is so easy.

Reviewer: KharriDate: 2006-03-27
Reviewid: 141356Chapter: 26
Oh my god. I just finished reading it, and I think that it is so good, maybe even better that HBP. Ok maybe not. But I still love it! When will the next chapter come out?

Reviewer: Khar'pernDate: 2006-03-19
Reviewid: 141091Chapter: 16
I really loved this chapter. I loved the revrence to Little Whinging and the boarding school Harry supposedly attended. I also liked how Ron taunted Hemione about Grawp, even though it wasn't nice a all. Actually, I have liked all of the chapters, and I am going to write my own fanfiction piece.

Reviewer: CassieDate: 2006-03-10
Reviewid: 140778Chapter: 26
Wow, well, what to say really...

I began reading this story a long time ago and when real life intervened for a long while I lost track of a lot of the WIPs I was in the middle of. So I've come back, about a year later and read the whole thing beginning to end (well Chapter 25 anyway) and I have to say my memory was right - this is brilliant!

Now I am terrible at leaving reviews, I never think my one-line "well done and keep going" is good engough when many, may people take the time to write an in-depth review, so more often than that I don't bother.

However, I thought this for SoS I would make the effort because it is an amazingly well written story and I think if a few more reviews (or at least acknowledgement of having read it) would help you to complete it then that is what we all (especially the lazy ones like me) must do.

So yes, I have been reading this, one chapter a day on my lunch breaks for a few weeks now and I have to say that switching it off to go back to work has been getting harder and harder as it goes on.

Please do finish it and please finish it at the same standard as you have done the rest of it, and if that takes you another year then so be it - we can wait. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about making it HBP compliant - this story was started long before HBP and reflects the wizarding world and your interpretation of it after OotP and excellently so. It would be a shame to change the story just for the sake of what we know now. After all, After the End is no less an achievement or enjoyable read now, even though it doesn't stick to the later canon.

Anyway, that's quite enough rambling from me. You've done really, really well with this and I am very much looking forward to finding out how it all turns out.

Cassie xx.

P.S. On a different note, for an American writer, your grasp of Britain and British ways of speaking/conversation/dialect is quite remarkable - well done again.

Reviewer: jae culmerDate: 2006-02-04
Reviewid: 139349Chapter: 1
i am hanging by a thread....please please update soon. *sighs deeply*

Reviewer: graup_hagridDate: 2006-02-03
Reviewid: 139264Chapter: 26
Enjoyed the story. Thanks for sharing it.

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-12-05
Reviewid: 136779Chapter: 26
I liked the way you handled the reconciliation between Harry and the Weasleys; it felt right — not too overdone. There’s no point in me providing you with corrections in my reviews at this point (not with the SQ no longer accepting replacement chapters), so I won’t.

All in all, this was a very engrossing and satisfying chapter, and I look forward to your next update.

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: Loony LovebadDate: 2005-11-28
Reviewid: 136433Chapter: 26
FYI: Pertaining to my last rewiew I have never re read a fan fic story B 4, I have only re read the "real thing" (this was definately intended as a compliment) DON'T STOP WRITING WHATEVER YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!
~your very devoted fan

Reviewer: Loony LovebadDate: 2005-11-28
Reviewid: 136431Chapter: 26
I think your story is awesome!!!!!! I read it up to chapter 20 but then had to stop because that was as much as you had posted but I just came back to it and reread from the beginning up to chapter 25. This is definately one of those stories that I will be comming back to look for the next chapter. I can't wait for more Harry/Ginny loooooove!!!!!! Also, this is my first review so please carve a notch on your keyboard for me. lol :) Keep up the great writing!!!!

Reviewer: Altn8_Char_LotteDate: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136356Chapter: 26
well well well
first- YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAy! an update!!!!! whooohoo
second- ahh the laws of attraction...if only we could learn about those rather than that other junk...just kidding...i do sort of like school :)...well...really...really really.. deep deep down somewhere i'm sure i do...
third- oh man...and Phineas and his annoying comments were just starting to grow on me...oh well...
fourth-you are aware that if you dont continue on with this story that i will email you annoying emails, right? im really good at that... :)...
fifth-well...err...nothing else really...except i really liked this chapter too...along with everything else..and to keep up the good work!!!!
Yoshi...
the 'persistent' fan...
funny

Reviewer: MelindaleoDate: 2005-11-27
Reviewid: 136347Chapter: 26
Very glad to see you back! You did get a lot right from HBP, but even if not, so what, it's a good read. I will admit, I am happy the Harry/Mrs. Weasley relationship didn't go this way, but yay H/G!

Reviewer: AlexannahDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136310Chapter: 26
My 1st review - I think you've got a great story going. I like Mr Weasley but I can't see him as MfM material. Can I join the Wormtail Sympathizers Club? The mushroom thing is v. odd - I really want to know how THAT happened. I liked the way you did Harry/Ginny. Please mention me in your author notes!

Reviewer: PygmyPuffDate: 2005-11-26
Reviewid: 136291Chapter: 26
Very odd acne dream. Are Harry's Voldie-zit worries spilling back into Voldemort's psyche? But I'm very happy Harry & Ginny finally sorted things out; interesting interpretation of the "beast" in Harry's chest from HBP. Poor Heinrich! I hope you let Bill live. Why doesn't Harry go to Dumbledore about his weird seizures and things? Why isn't Hermione on his case about it? Also the bit about Voldemort knowing better than to try to kill children was harsh but at the same time it was a really good line & got to the heart of things somehow. I've really enjoyed this take on Harry's sixth year, and I eagerly await the next chapter.

Reviewer: childoftheseventhsinDate: 2005-11-25
Reviewid: 136287Chapter: 26
Erm.....the seventh sin....is.....*looks hugely shamefaced*....lechery, actually... *changes subject*

It is so nice to actually receive a reply from an author! Makes me feel special!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-11-22
Reviewid: 136153Chapter: 25
"I have no idea when I will be updating next. Very probably after HBP."

It is now after HPB. We're rerady.

Reviewer: aurora luminisDate: 2005-11-06
Reviewid: 135728Chapter: 25
Oh, please, please, don’t stop on this. I began reading it more than a year ago and have followed it faithfully, checking every two weeks for an update. Not everyone can afford to leave multiple reviews; it costs and costs dear to use the Internet when you live in most European countries. Here you pay not only for the provider but the telephone company also. This is such a good story. It would be a shame not to continue it. Really. Sometimes people go away for awhile when a story takes a long time to unfold…otherwise you forget what the beginning was all about. Just think of the shining example you would give to the young be seeing a work to completion. And the balm it would be on the hearts of many who start a good story only to see it stop abruptly. I still haven’t give Arabella and Jedi a moment’s rest for leaving Rising from Ashes incomplete. And that horrible cliff-hanger cut-off of A.L. de Sauveterre’s Harry Potter and the Society of Orpheus and Bacchus. Forward please. Helene

Reviewer: Peter CoatesDate: 2005-10-19
Reviewid: 134813Chapter: 22
enjoying your story very much. Couple of nit in ch22.
(1) in british english one would use the word "tap" not "faucet". (do you care?)
(2) you have a typo: "It all sounded encouraging, like he'd scarcely had a fighting change before but did now. What he still didn't understand was why that turn of events bothered the centaurs so much" presumably shoudl read "It all sounded encouraging, like he'd scarcely had a fighting chance before but did now. What he still didn't understand was why that turn of events bothered the centaurs so much"

But this is one of the best stories on sugarquill. THX

Reviewer: Tony BDate: 2005-10-14
Reviewid: 134479Chapter: 25
Please finish this story! You've done an excellent job up to this point and I'd really like to see how you intend to bring it to a conclusion.

Reviewer: MyRoommate'sLoudDate: 2005-10-08
Reviewid: 133977Chapter: 25
Please finish the story! If you don't, the story will end on a really sad note, what with Heinrich dying. Wormtail's lack of spirit could contribute to him finally settling his life debt with Harry.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-10-07
Reviewid: 133899Chapter: 24
Is it just as good if you just stop and walk away unfinished?

Is it really necessary to post this same request at the end of each chapter?

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-10-07
Reviewid: 133898Chapter: 25
Reader interest is fine. You are overlooking a group of readers who rarely review or only review at the end of a story. I fall in this last often enough.
Please finish the story.
Ask your friends - Is it just as good if I suddenly just stop and walk away?

Reviewer: llyfrDate: 2005-09-29
Reviewid: 133454Chapter: 25
PLEASE finish this! It is very good, and I really want to know what happens next! I hope you decide to keep going with this.

Reviewer: AnnieDate: 2005-09-23
Reviewid: 133088Chapter: 25
PLEASE keep going - I've read all 24 chapters in one sitting and can't wait for the next installment. It's a brilliant story - MORE MORE MORE!

Reviewer: JUNE LUTTRELLDate: 2005-09-13
Reviewid: 132422Chapter: 25
I AM SO LOVING YOUR BOOK I SINCERELY HOPE YOU WILL FINISH IT SOON. I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!

Reviewer: PurplechocoDate: 2005-08-26
Reviewid: 130902Chapter: 25
i must say that i was surprised that you had updated so quickly compared to your usual updates, i am very happy, all though it has taken me time to write a review for you. do you know you are the only person that i review for. it has been a year since started reading your wonderful and i am glad that it is still going on.

i have a question, now that HPB has come out will you incorporate some of it to this story besides the fall of fudge, is it hard not to put some things of hpb into your work? do you find it hard not to borrow from the book since they are both taking place in the sixth year?

i was just wondering :)

Reviewer: GeoffDate: 2005-08-22
Reviewid: 130587Chapter: 25
Very much enjoying your story. I hope you take the time to finish.

Reviewer: ClaudiaDate: 2005-08-16
Reviewid: 130107Chapter: 1
Please, please finish it!!

Reviewer: YosHieDate: 2005-08-13
Reviewid: 129771Chapter: 1
still waitin...

Reviewer: JoshuaDate: 2005-08-10
Reviewid: 129497Chapter: 25
Dont you dare stop writing i want more lots more!!! :p keep going man its a great story!

Reviewer: JoshuaDate: 2005-08-04
Reviewid: 128772Chapter: 25
Man i love your story plaese plaese keep going i want to know more. Your story is just as good HPB at less i think so.

Its a shame Heinrich Umnebel he is such a good charter, i really liked him wish he was in more of the story tho. I cant wait till Harry and Ginny get together. I like how Arthur Weasley became the mistery.

Well anyway i do hope you finish the stroy and keep going on. I really like it, its one of the best stories ive read in all the fanfics.

Reviewer: LupinDate: 2005-07-30
Reviewid: 128284Chapter: 25
Fantastic! Please, please, please add more! I think the story so far is brilliant, characters are excellent.. Really can't wait for more..

Reviewer: LupinDate: 2005-07-30
Reviewid: 128269Chapter: 10
Think it is utterly fantastic so far, only just finished Chapt. 10.

Thought I'd point out though that Harry was forced to carve 'I must not tell lies' into his hand, not 'I will not tell lies.'
A small detail which doesn't matter too much, I just thought I'd mention.

Fantastic though..

Reviewer: DanielleDate: 2005-07-27
Reviewid: 127991Chapter: 25
Please keep writing this even though the book is out, i think that it is just as good as the real one!!

Reviewer: SarahDate: 2005-07-22
Reviewid: 127589Chapter: 25
Lovely chapter...I thought of your lovelorn Harry "glancing" at Ginny, while reading HBP...(This is a good thing!) I can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: Laura Fox-BlackDate: 2005-07-22
Reviewid: 127585Chapter: 25
I have been reading SugarQuill stories for 2 years, since right before OotP came out, and I have been tryig to submit one of my story for that long as well. :)I have been reading your story since you started writing it and I wanted to tell you that I love it and I hope you continue with it. After reading HBP, these AU stories make it bareable to survive until the next book comes out, and it is just so cool to read peoples imaginations and theories about what they want to happen in the book (plus your's is well written) :) So I just wanted to let you know I am one person out here in cyberspace world that wants you to continue writing, even after HBP came out!!! Sorry I never reviewed before, I was afraid to, oh and this is also the first review I have ever written, feel loved... :) Thans for writing such a good story, it inspires me to continue writing!!

Laura

P.S. I don't know my forum name as I don't go one there that often, but I think that is my name... who know's :)

Reviewer: Jerome NovyDate: 2005-07-21
Reviewid: 127535Chapter: 25
This is my first reveiw ever. I just wanted to say I have enjoyed your story. I am in the Navy and get a chance to read every now and then but I always look for your postings please continue your gift of capturing the spirit of JKR's imagination is finominal. Please continue your writing on this and any future stories you might be considering. The time and effort you take to write shows to me that you put alot of thought behind your creativeness.
I am currently on chapter 6 of her current book the half blood prince and still wanting more of your story as well.
I just had to write to you and let you know there are a lot of silent readers like myself that probably should speak up but dont. I just dont want to lose you story due to my lack of writing you a review. Thanks again for your creativity.
Jerome Novy

Reviewer: childoftheseventhsinDate: 2005-07-20
Reviewid: 127506Chapter: 25
Nooooooo!!! I just had a marathon SoS session, and am distraught to find I have come to the end of chapters! Update soon . . . . *growls fiercly*. Moving on, I have three points to make:
1. Don't worry about reader interest!!! Carry on regardless - whatever happens I'll read right up to the last chapter - i'm dying to know how this works out!
2. I love the author notes by the way, you mentioned something about reader interaction, and I totaly agree! It feels sooooooooo amazing to be mentioned and have my comments acknowledged, and you write them so well too . . .
4. According to your author's notes, Sarah asked if Percy's middle name wasn't Ignatius . . . I could have sworn it was Aldernon!!! I may be wrong obviously (I so often am), but I don't even remember hearing the name Ignatius mentioned . . . hmmm . . . I'm confused . . .

Reviewer: childoftheseventhsinDate: 2005-07-20
Reviewid: 127505Chapter: 25
Nooooooo!!! I just had a marathon SoS session, and am distraught to find I have come to the end of chapters! Update soon . . . . *growls fiercly*. Moving on, I have three points to make:
1. Don't worry about reader interest!!! Carry on regardless - whatever happens I'll read right up to the last chapter - i'm dying to know how this works out!
2. I love the author notes by the way, you mentioned something about reader interaction, and I totaly agree! It feels sooooooooo amazing to be mentioned and have my comments acknowledged, and you write them so well too . . .
4. According to your author's notes, Sarah asked if Percy's middle name wasn't Ignatius . . . I could have sworn it was Aldernon!!! I may be wrong obviously (I so often am), but I don't even remember hearing the name Ignatius mentioned . . . hmmm . . . I'm confused . . .

Reviewer: childoftheseventhsinDate: 2005-07-20
Reviewid: 127504Chapter: 25
Nooooooooooo!!!! Need to read more!!! You have to update quickly, or I will growl mightily . . . .
I have three points by the way, so here they are!!!

Reviewer: Fresh_AngelBabeDate: 2005-07-20
Reviewid: 127434Chapter: 25
Your story is excellent! I absolutely love it! I hope you keep going with this, I can't wait to read more!

Reviewer: Jeremy HeeschDate: 2005-07-19
Reviewid: 127402Chapter: 25
I don't read much in the way of fan fiction, because most of the time I don't really like how the characters are protrayed. However, this story has been a shining example of how someone can do this kind of writing correctly. I finished up Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and I have to say that I have enjoyed Staff of Serpents just as much as I enjoyed reading through Mrs. Rowling's official 6th book. I thought it was pretty interesting to see some of the coincidences that happened to occur between the two stories.

I hope that ,if JKR ever considers letting others take over writing stories in her universe for publication once she has finished, you are at least given an opportunity to demonstrate what you can do. That may not be what you want to do, however, as I have to imagine you're very capable of creating your own worlds. I wish you great success (and hopefully soon), as I will certainly be one who would be willing to purchase some of your work. Thank you for creating a wonderful story.

Reviewer: KevaDate: 2005-07-16
Reviewid: 127287Chapter: 25
PLEASE finish this story!! :) I'm sorry you feel reader interest is falling, because this is one reader you've got very hooked. I'll keep reading, there's no doubt about that, HBP or not. This story is a treat. There is a lot of fanfic out there, but the highest quality stories like this one are much harder to come by. Your writing is excellent. Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: JDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127197Chapter: 25
Please do continue. This is quite an enjoyable story and I am impressed by how canon-esque it is.

Reviewer: john doeDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127153Chapter: 25
nice story...i really like it!

Reviewer: siriusly_in_loveDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127126Chapter: 25
This is a really good story. I last reviewed several chapters ago. There was a really long break between one chapter and the next, and I admit I stopped looking for updates. (I started reading After the End by Arabella and Zsenya, and Home Alone by KEDme.) Yesterday I was showing my friend this site, and noticed that you had posted a new chapter. I started reading it again, and I remembered why I liked it so much before. This is a great story!! Just a couple questions. Are you going to have Harry and Luna get together? Are you going to get Ginny and Dean together? Please do something about Ginny and Dean. Are they going out or not? What about Ron and Hermione? Are you going to have any fluff? I realise that isn't really your style, but please give your readers something!! One more thing. What the heck happened with the poisoned mushrooms? Please finish the story. Even though it isn't going to be relevant in just a couple days, I still would like to know how your story ends. Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127084Chapter: 25
Congratulations, Aragog: you met that goal of yours and posted a chapter that doesn’t have any spelling errors!
(Unless you count the spelling of the word stye, which I’ve seen spelled both that way and as sty — so I don’t count it as a misspelling.)

I enjoyed reading this chapter, and snorted with laughter at the whole “Kumbuya my lord, kumbuya” dream sequence.

I found this sentence very true of a few politicians that I can think of: “What was really odd about that was there wasn't much difference between either man; they represented competing styles rather than political philosophies.”

It’s a pity that the SQ isn’t allowing you to repost/fix your chapters. If you’d like, you can send me a personal message through the SQ forum board, and I’ll check over your chapters before you submit them.

Keep up the excellent writing, and enjoy HBP!

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: AdagioDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127074Chapter: 25
Aragog,

I hope you will finish the story. I've enjoyed reading it. Your character development is very good and the story is interesting. Obviously it will be A/U in a couple of days, but every story dealing with Harry's adventures during his Hogwarts years becomes A/U with JKR's next book.

Reviewer: YoShI (or yoshi, whatever)Date: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127070Chapter: 25
well, you can hardly blame me for reading your story during class. the story, unlike my class, is much more interesting. i mean, come one. Staff of Serpents, or learning how to use microsoft excel? besides, Staff of Serpents in the morning when i am pretending to be working on my comp. really makes Summer school at seven in the morning kind of worth it, actually :)
anyways...
oh. i though maybe Dumbledore had somthing to say. was phineas just checking for dumbledore? or is he starting to care about Harry since is great grandson is dead and harry was is godson?
also
wow...600th? cool. :)
Yoshi

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-07-13
Reviewid: 127025Chapter: 25
I do hope you continue this after HBP. The only possible reasons for readers' interest to be seemingly declining are: 1, updates are infrequent and at 20 plus chapter getting caught up again takes a bit of time; 2, I think the sheer number of reviews has people thinking you know your stuff is good, so what difference will one more make.

While Mr. Weasley as Minister is a fanfic cliche, his being a temp isn't. Good job. Ron's comment about this made me laugh.

Reviewer: SaraDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126990Chapter: 25
Hey, I love your story but apparently am a bad fan because I never leave a comment. I just wanted to say that I'd be very upset if you didn't finish this story, even if it happens significantly after HBP. So you should keep writing cause it's a great story, you're a fantastic writer, and I know lots of people who still read it.

Reviewer: MelindaleoDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126935Chapter: 25
Aww, that ending was so sad! Please tell me someone finds him there and offers a little comfort. You HAVE to continue this story, HBP or no! You've brought us right to the edge of H/G finally connecting, you can't pull back now! Come on, it will be years while we await for book 7.
I liked all the political intrigue - seems like real politics, and I'm so happy for Arthur Weasley. I could just picture the look on Malfoy's face and it feels great.

Reviewer: OpaleyzDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126924Chapter: 25
Ach! You can't not finish SoS--it's one of my favorite on-going stories on the Sugarquill right now! I haven't reviewed before, but rest assured that I am a long-time reader, and I'm sure that there are many more out there like me. We may be quiet lurkers, but we enjoy this story nonetheless. I for one certainly appreciate your convincing characterizations and captivating storyline. I'm very curious to learn more about the Books of Serpents and Scales, and to see when Harry and Ginny finally work things out :)

Reviewer: AliceDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126919Chapter: 25
I got one scentence to say: THIS IS VERY GOOD!!

Reviewer: Jae CulmerDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126910Chapter: 25
I sit here in bed at quarter of midnite wiping away fresh tears I am not sure as to what make me greive more. That fact that you may not complete this wonderful story that has engrossed me for the first line, (and I will have you know i check this site every day for your updates) Heinrich's tragic demise or Hermione's impotence in regard to the translations and the setbacks therein. I big of you to finish this story even after HBP for my sanity if nothing else. (Although I would rather you finish it because it is ingenious.)

Reviewer: Mr. Nice GuyDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126893Chapter: 25
Please do finish. I've only ever reviewed twice and they were both for this story. It's been one awesome ride so far.

Reviewer: keelyDate: 2005-07-12
Reviewid: 126886Chapter: 25
Great story!! Please keep writing, even after HBP... Each chapter is better than the last, and I'm totally hooked.

Reviewer: NoelleWeasleyDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126875Chapter: 25
OOOH! i hate hearing authors say "i dont know if im going to finish or not" PLEASE finish! I rarely review because i usually dont have much more to say than "hey i like your story" which seems inane. but hey, i like your story

Reviewer: nightcrawler1089Date: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126857Chapter: 25
Actually, I'm not quite certain that line is from Psychic Serpent. I've definitely seen it before, but considering how many fanfics I've read, there's little way I can find out what story it was. Ah well...nice update, but for some reason, it read a little disjointed for me. I'm honestly not sure why, but keep up the good work!

Reviewer: zuzuanniDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126852Chapter: 25
I think you should keep going. I really really like this fic, and I'd be very disappointed if you stopped. I know I've never reviewed this fic before, but I thought you should know that there are silent readers out here who are still interested. I want HBP, but I also want to know how your fic ends!

Reviewer: MeggsDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126844Chapter: 25
awwwww poor Heinrich! he was cool.
as much as i would like to believe arthur to be Minister, and granted you DID write it to seem plausible enough- it still feels contrived to me.
"If you're so keen to keep on with your other projects why did you come here at all?" Harry asked sharply. He was running out of patience with the conversation and had none at all for misplaced priorities.

i don't know why but to me this sentence was a good sentence revealing cannon harry character. it just struck me as good writing ;)

and PLEASE do finish the story. i understand about not doing a sequel but please PLEASE finish the story.
and i agree with Melindaleo - reading the author comments to the readers is almost as fun as reading the story itself- i always read them - that's half the reason why "I" post! because i like knowing what you have to say about my comment!
please keep it up!
looking forward to another chapter
~Meggs

Reviewer: Christy FordDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126842Chapter: 25
Very good. very interesting. Keep it up. :)

Reviewer: V. KeminskyDate: 2005-07-10
Reviewid: 126700Chapter: 24
This story iz really interesting and i cant wait 2 read more!

Reviewer: amanda primoracDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126445Chapter: 11
i usually dont wright a revew for a single chapter but for the story as a whole but this was so good that i had to. this was writen so well that i cryed thank you for the beautifily writen chapter.

Reviewer: Altn8_Char_LotteDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126432Chapter: 24
i really enjoy ure stories!
i read them in summer school (where i am now.) seriously, they keep me so much company during computers! usually when the teacher is showing us how to do stuff i'm reading your stories. i pobably shouldnt but honestly? computers? all they teach you is boring stuff. like how to use the drawing toolbar. :-( neway. i really like your story!
keep up the good work!
Altn8_Char_Lotte

Reviewer: YoShIDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126296Chapter: 24
i like the drunk percy much better than the sober one ;-). i think that you have actually made me pity Percy the pompous. Bravo!
;-)
YoShI

Reviewer: YOsHiDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126274Chapter: 20
i really enjoy reading your story...but u sure did take a while :) but anyways...i think your story is great! what's Phineas's (did i say that right?) Message???
Waiting Patiently,
YosHi

Reviewer: MeggsDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126080Chapter: 24
ah my mistake
i like seeing harry uncomfortable around dean and starting to not be able to hide it...although the whole Luna/ Harry thing......just seems kinda out of left field...i mean i know you've made references but....i just don't see it....ever....
anyways drunk percy - nice touch
looking forward to the next one
ps is what'sisname henrich guy ever coming back? i like him

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2005-07-05
Reviewid: 126064Chapter: 24
Yet ANOTHER Long Review Alert!!!

This was a good chapter, Aragog — good on you for the regular updates.

I found this line all too true: "He would have given me a lecture about putting up my Occlumency shield before bed," Harry said testily. "That's the only difference it would have made."
Of course, Snape might have got Dumbledore a bit sooner (after he’d finished lecturing Harry), if he’d been informed why…


You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “He'd thought immediately of Hermione and her PENSEIVE.”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “He'd thought immediately of Hermione and her PENSIEVE.”

This particular spelling of the word Pensieve as ‘Penseive’ is continued in a few other spots.

You had a grammatical error/typo (basically, you forgot to insert a period or any other punctuation mark in between the words that are shown in capitals): “"I SCARPERED THIS is IMPORTANT I saw the translation key for the Book of Serpents last NIGHT WHERE’S your Pensieve?”

You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “Either Snape was using LEGILMENCY or he'd made a phenomenally good guess.”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “Either Snape was using LEGILIMENCY or he'd made a phenomenally good guess.”

You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “Hermione was still so caught up in trying to sort out the PRECEEDING exchange she didn't comment on his language.”

Here are two possible corrections (shown in capitals) — I’m not entirely sure which one you meant: “Hermione was still so caught up in trying to sort out the PRECEDING exchange she didn't comment on his language.”
or
“Hermione was still so caught up in trying to sort out the PROCEEDING exchange she didn't comment on his language.”

You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “…he knew all this emotion could play HAVOK with his memory.”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “…he knew all this emotion could play HAVOC with his memory.”

You had a typo (shown in capitals): “Marchbanks actually stopped to scrutinize him, then turned back TO TO Dumbledore.”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “Marchbanks actually stopped to scrutinize him, then turned back TO Dumbledore.”

You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “"Don't be ridiculous, Ron. Of course we're going to Hogsmeade TOGTHER!" said Hermione.”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “"Don't be ridiculous, Ron. Of course we're going to Hogsmeade TOGETHER!" said Hermione.”

This particular spelling of together as ‘togther’ is continued in at least one other spot.

You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “Harry GRIMMACED, taking care to make sure he was looking at Percy rather than Dean so no one would know.”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “Harry GRIMACED, taking care to make sure he was looking at Percy rather than Dean so no one would know.”

You had a grammatical error/typo (the word where you put in the wrong punctuation mark is shown in capitals): “Blank looks and shrugs and "I don't KNOW"S were all he got.”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “Blank looks and shrugs and "I don't KNOW’S were all he got.”

You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “A leather portfolio case sitting on the desk, MONOGRAMED with the initials "P.A.W."…”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “A leather portfolio case sitting on the desk, MONOGRAMMED with the initials "P.A.W."…”

You had a spelling error (shown in capitals): “"What's the 'A' stand for?" asked SEMUS…”

Here is the correction (shown in capitals): “"What's the 'A' stand for?" asked SEAMUS…”


I really liked the idea of Dumbledore using the Time Turner to get enough rest so that he could function. I hope we see more on time travel in the next two books, simply because it’s so fascinating (not to mention an excellent plot device for adding twists and turns to the story!).

You have to feel a bit sorry for Percy, though. He’s a real prat, but his life really does seem to lack a purpose right now (other than keeping himself ahead in the political game, which arguably has been the purpose of his life thus far, I suppose), which makes him miserable. Well, that and the fact that everything he cares about — his standing in the Ministry, his relationship with his family, etc. — seems to be going downhill.

Keep up the good work!

- Morag Camshron

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