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Review(s): 142
| Reviewer: Becky | Date: 2005-08-14 |
| Reviewid: 129942 | Chapter: 18 |
| Wow I was so impressed with this. I have only just started reading Fanfic's and this one was great! I felt like I really was reading JK and I love these missing moments it really gives more depth to the story! Great! |
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| Reviewer: Blythe | Date: 2005-04-11 |
| Reviewid: 119202 | Chapter: 18 |
| This is a superb fic. You should be proud of yourself! You've done a great job of pulling together the backstory of what might have gone on that summer, in an extremely plausible manner. |
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| Reviewer: Fran | Date: 2005-01-25 |
| Reviewid: 112057 | Chapter: 16 |
| This is a fantastic story, I've just read it all the way through without stopping. There has been too little about Sirius' emotions and pov in the books. He's my favourite character. This chapter struck me as being particularly well written and mature. I read it several times and it still chills me and not many stories do, so congratulations! |
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| Reviewer: Jetamors | Date: 2005-01-07 |
| Reviewid: 110144 | Chapter: 18 |
| What an excellent story! I love how you portray all of the characters, especially Sirius and Remus and Snape and their interactions. I'll definitely be looking for more stories from you, especially after HBP comes out! |
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| Reviewer: Melissa | Date: 2004-12-27 |
| Reviewid: 108738 | Chapter: 18 |
| (kneels down and praises Jolie Black and writes into the chocolate frog card company to add her to the card collection) What a beautiful story, many funny bits, a true show of friendship, and a secret meaning to take one's own medicine! Your writing is equisit (i think thats the correct spelling), i never lost intrest and read the whole story in one shot!! It was excellent and you portaryed Sirius with such percession, its obvious he's your fav character. Another reason i couldnt stop reading your story either coz i like the character of Sirius so much!! I also must congratualte you on the ammount of effort of the little details from the Fidelis charm, even a liefold!!! I was like i know what that is!! Its a flat thing that looks like a blanket it attacks at night and suffercates you! Anyway a wonderful sotry, one of the best i have ever read, if Sirius fell in love it would have been the best but that never happens in Order of the pheonix. Have you written others with romance and Sirius? |
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| Reviewer: jazzypom | Date: 2004-10-03 |
| Reviewid: 100303 | Chapter: 18 |
I really liked your story from Sirius Black's point of view. Reading it made me depressed though, knowing that Sirius wanted to do so much and couldn't. He must have felt so impotent - and the fact that Snape was basically lording his situation over him, must have burned.
I do feel bitter towards Dumbledore in terms of how Sirius was treated, in rereading the book I always thought that he was the one who killed Sirius, and that Sirius would have been better off in Tibet or something.
Well, not the Black/Lupin pairing that I was rooting for, but at least he'd end up with a Black huh? If nothing else, it's a relative that Sirius liked (I do hope that it doesn't go that way in the canon though - I hope Tonks dies or something).
Techically, your telling of the story was very strong- very true to the Rowling spirit, but done in your own style. I will admit that it is something I'm impressed by. I admired the fact that you portrayed Sirius as someone who was really trying to keep it together, and struggling not to give into the bitterness of his wasted years.
I liked the fact that even though you had a gaggle of characters to work with (and how!) you kept their characters distinct, and true. This is especially with the twins and Ms. Weasley. I do think that she was especially hard on Sirius in OoTP - just because she's has her tribe, doesn't make her the final word on bonds of adult/child.
It's an excellent prologue to the story, and I am glad that you got most of the britishms right. That is a problem that I find with quite a few fanfics by american writers - they think that liberal dashes of 'git' and 'mate' is the end of the british idiom.
I'll reread to try and get the slip up (but if you wanted to email me and tell me, that will be alright too!).
Thanks for writing and sharing your vision online.
Sirius Black was my favourate character, and I do hope that he plays some part in the future (although I highly doubt it) from behind the veil.
regards
jp |
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| Reviewer: Leslie Gan | Date: 2004-07-11 |
| Reviewid: 91764 | Chapter: 18 |
| I enjoyed this story. It was logical and well-planned out and serves well to fill in a gap in JK Rowling's own storyline. |
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| Reviewer: Sirius'_lover | Date: 2004-06-17 |
| Reviewid: 87517 | Chapter: 18 |
Hi
I had to just write and say to you that i think that your story is absolutely fantastic. you've got all the characters potrayed perfectly and it made for fab reading.
georgie |
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| Reviewer: Sarah | Date: 2004-06-15 |
| Reviewid: 87290 | Chapter: 15 |
| Ginny's real name is Ginevra, not Virginia... thought I'd let you know. Anyway, this is a really great fic! |
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| Reviewer: Annz | Date: 2004-05-30 |
| Reviewid: 85202 | Chapter: 18 |
| This story was wonderful. It reads as though it realy belongs in the book. The the tone, style and cannon all mesh perfectly with JK Rowling's writing. |
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| Reviewer: Anna | Date: 2004-05-28 |
| Reviewid: 84958 | Chapter: 1 |
| I just want to tell you congratulations for your fic it was really good one of the best i' ve read! it' s a fic wonderfully written and truly faithful to the spirit of the books! i was in such a bad mood yesterday and it really cheered me up, thanks |
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| Reviewer: seamusisevil | Date: 2004-05-16 |
| Reviewid: 82916 | Chapter: 17 |
have you ever thought of writeing a neville p.o.v.
hes one of my favorites and i really feel that if anyone could do him justice it would be you since you stick to canon so good plz consider this there arnt enough good neville fics out there |
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| Reviewer: seamusisevil | Date: 2004-05-16 |
| Reviewid: 82913 | Chapter: 18 |
really good story you should consider telling the story from sirius p.o.v. for the rest of the year
about what the order was doing upto the point where
they find out harrys gone missing or further after sirius dies you are verry talented keep'em coming
p.s.
could not spot the non-canon part sorry |
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| Reviewer: MrRobertsIII | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81572 | Chapter: 18 |
Thanks for the fic and sticking to canon. I thought you did a great job with Snape v. Sirius and the friendship between Lupin and Sirius.
“How’s the cleaning going?” he asked brusquely, taking off his black cloak and throwing it over a chair.
“Oh, quite well,” said Sirius indifferently. “Except for a bit of vermin in the kitchen that keeps coming back.”
-Hah!
Everyone in character. Look forward to your next fic. |
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| Reviewer: MarthaMyDear | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81561 | Chapter: 18 |
Oh, what a sad day, it´s finished! :-(
I´ll be waiting desperately for another missing moment story by you as I love your style. |
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| Reviewer: Nicole | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81513 | Chapter: 18 |
Very good story. I didn't start reading until you had a few chapters posted, but once I got started I was always anticipating an update. I think you captured all the characters well.
Keep on writing. |
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| Reviewer: Coquillage | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81495 | Chapter: 18 |
| This has just been a great read. I'm so sad it's over. I'll miss your Sirius - it made me feel as if we hadn't lost him after all, like finding a stash of hidden letters that bring someone back to life with fresh thoughts and a fresh perspective. Your portrayal and emotions were breathtaking. I have to admit I can't be bothered to look for a glitch - I just enjoyed it all too much. Thanks, Jolie! |
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| Reviewer: Anna | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81486 | Chapter: 18 |
| I'm so sad it's over! it's so good! please try to write again soon! you're a wonderful author! |
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| Reviewer: ~*Jessie*~ | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81484 | Chapter: 18 |
Noooooo!!!
It can't be over!!!!
Make a spinnoff! -- a -- A fluffy fic!
I want to see Lupin/Tonks together!!!
Tears!!!! |
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| Reviewer: Miss E Bennett | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81477 | Chapter: 18 |
| You are brilliant, do you know? I hope I don't say that after every chapter, but you really are. A genius. I read the Pensieve threads about reviews, and they always mention how they dislike reviews that are just compliments with no constructive criticism, but I suppose that they don't apply to me because I don't use netspeak. I'll just keep telling myself that. But I'm serious: this is one of my absolutely all-time favorite stories, right up there with Robin's stuff. Bises! |
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| Reviewer: Angela | Date: 2004-05-07 |
| Reviewid: 81465 | Chapter: 18 |
| WRITE IT! This story was awesome, by far one of the best Harry Potter fics I've read. Your writing was great, but I think the real strength of the story was the realism - in the characters, the dialogue, everything. Not only were they canon, but they were very human as well. Of course, the ending - with Sirius's thoughts of becoming a bit less reckless - is ironic and tragic. Great great great. Two BIG thumbs up. |
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| Reviewer: Andrea13 | Date: 2004-04-30 |
| Reviewid: 80749 | Chapter: 17 |
| *gigglefits* This continues to be just absolutely amusing. I love this fic. I don't review it nearly often enough. :) You've gotten Sirius' reactions and emotions down to a tee. I'm horribly impressed. He's a tough one to get right! I can't wait to see the next chapter. |
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| Reviewer: Linnet | Date: 2004-04-30 |
| Reviewid: 80708 | Chapter: 17 |
I'm glad you're updating frequently lately! I loved this chapter, especially Molly's ranting at Mundungus.
-Linnet |
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| Reviewer: hairy_hen | Date: 2004-04-29 |
| Reviewid: 80585 | Chapter: 17 |
Excellent as usual. I like Sirius' resentment of Dumbledore for being so evasive, and his reaction to seeing Molly yelling at Mundungus. He, like Harry, seems to have forgiven him fairly quickly. I also like how he continually admires Lupin for conducting himself so much more gracefully, and feels ashamed of his impulsiveness, though he can't and won't change his behavior. It's interesting too (tragic, really) that he feels so cut off from everyone else, and how similar he is to Harry in that regard. Nicely done!
The best part was this. '“Oh, right,” he said. “You’re waiting for me to beg you to let me leave the house. Sorry to disappoint you. I haven’t been on a broom for fourteen years, I’d better just stay here and keep the butterbeer cold until you’re back.”' So bitter, so irritated with their treating him like an immature time bomb, and so very much in character.
I love this story! |
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| Reviewer: Angela | Date: 2004-04-29 |
| Reviewid: 80573 | Chapter: 17 |
Ah, all is well at Grimmauld Place. (But where's Snape? Where?! WHERE?) I love this fic, it's definitely my favorite. All the characters are spot on; I'm almost sad that Harry has to arrive because that means soon the summer will be over... Goodness!
I'm glad to see Sirius is a bit less moody, always a good sign. And, for some reason, I found Dumbledore's brief entrance/exit to be really perfect - very in canon, and very real.
Please keep this going, all through Harry's 5th year! How about, instead of "Summer of the Phoenix," make it "Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring of the Phoenix"?
And where is Snape? Do we know what happened to him or is he still MIA? |
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| Reviewer: Jessie | Date: 2004-04-29 |
| Reviewid: 80545 | Chapter: 9 |
So......okay, I'm confused.
is there soemthing between Tonks & Lupin????
Plz just clear that up for me - then I'll read more of ur story!!! |
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| Reviewer: Andrea | Date: 2004-04-28 |
| Reviewid: 80457 | Chapter: 16 |
Eyes brimming with tears...argh, you torture me as much as JKR did! So very touching and dramatic, one of you best chapters yet. Interesting how Sirus hears the screams just as Harry does. Umm...*facepalm* still recovering from that bruised smile emotional trauma stuff you put me through, but it was excellent. Intriguing twist with Snape too.
Thanks for updating quickly! |
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| Reviewer: Jolie Black | Date: 2004-04-26 |
| Reviewid: 80250 | Chapter: 16 |
****** Author's Note: ******
Again, thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to review this story – your feedback really means a lot to me. :-)
In reply to some of your comments/questions:
Kathleen c., Kaitlyn, Linnet and everyone else who might have been wondering -
How much further into OotP am I going to take this story? Up to exactly the moment Harry arrives at No. 12, Grimmauld Place, but not further. I’m filling gaps, not rewriting the story we do have. We’re actually racing towards the end now.
rahi –
Why doesn’t “my” Tonks greet everyone with “wotcher”? She actually did, in the drafts. But it just sounded, I don’t know, wrong. It never fitted with what else she was saying at that time, and *how* she was saying it. And the flow of her dialogue was more important to me than to have her use “wotcher” at all cost. I figured that she’d be recognisable by other (maybe slightly less obvious) features even if she used other forms of greeting.
Besides, in canon, she greets *Harry* with “wotcher” (twice, I think) – but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she greets everyone *else* in that way, too, and all the time. Maybe she was just trying to impress Harry specifically.
Olivia Wood –
Have I considered the wonders of the Alternate Universe? No. Well, considered very briefly maybe, but discarded the idea immediately. I’m sorry, but I find myself unable to even think in AU terms. It simply goes too much against the grain. I’m a canon-maniac, I can’t help it. But I shall certainly continue considering the wonders of gap-filling and accounting for missing moments, I promise. :-)
Jolie |
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| Reviewer: rahi | Date: 2004-04-25 |
| Reviewid: 80085 | Chapter: 16 |
| lovely story! only one thing missing tho...doesn't tonks greet every1 with 'wotcher!'? |
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| Reviewer: Olivia Wood | Date: 2004-04-24 |
| Reviewid: 79941 | Chapter: 16 |
| Poor Sirius... Have you considers the wonders of the Alternate Universe? Huh? ... Well, it's something to think about. ;) Update soon! |
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| Reviewer: Angela | Date: 2004-04-24 |
| Reviewid: 79940 | Chapter: 16 |
| Haven't replied in a while, but am now caught up again. I love all this, it's excellent! Where is Snape? Oh my, the thickening plot. Sirius is perfect, as always, very believable and also true to canon. Great! |
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| Reviewer: Linnet | Date: 2004-04-23 |
| Reviewid: 79934 | Chapter: 16 |
This was a fabulous chapter! I find the idea of Sirius going a little crazy at Harry being attacked by Dementors very believable and realistic. I liked the Sirius and Lupin interaction, also. Great job...but I just realized...is this going to be over when Harry gets to Grimmauld Place/leaves it for Hogwarts?
-Linnet |
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| Reviewer: Miss E Bennett | Date: 2004-04-23 |
| Reviewid: 79897 | Chapter: 16 |
| This is so heart-rending, you know--this chapter, especially. Well, I find anything written about and IC Sirius around Book V to be heart-rending. The part with Moody was so...so...so sad, in a way. I wish that there were favorite lists here (that's the one good thing about ff.n) so that I could ass this to it. Consider yourself added! |
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| Reviewer: Kaitlyn | Date: 2004-04-23 |
| Reviewid: 79884 | Chapter: 16 |
| I just wanted to say I've been following this story for a while and i think it is amazing! I can't wait for the next update! And I hope you continue this story to detail what goes on at 12 Grimmauld Place throughtout book number 5! Again, fantastic story! |
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| Reviewer: Coquillage | Date: 2004-04-23 |
| Reviewid: 79853 | Chapter: 16 |
You continue to fill in the outlines JKR has given us with your own inventive colors, and the result is a very real portrayal of Sirius reacting to canon. His response to the dementor attack is chilling and makes so much sense. I like the touch of impatience you've added to Remus in this chapter. And dare I say it - I'm, er, concerned about Snape? Look forward to more, as always.
in the outlines present us with a canon Sirius |
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| Reviewer: hairy_hen | Date: 2004-04-23 |
| Reviewid: 79820 | Chapter: 16 |
| Extremely, extremely impressive chapter. Sirius losing his head when Harry is attacked, desperate to go and save him, is very much in character, and quite understandable. It's also very upsetting that no one even bothered to try to understand his reaction, merely dismissing him as irrational and pitiable. I am in awe of how well you pulled this off. Lupin is one amazing guy, all right--not many people would smile after being hit in the face by their best friend. Awesome job! |
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| Reviewer: kathleen c. | Date: 2004-04-23 |
| Reviewid: 79801 | Chapter: 16 |
| Great chapter. I was wondering, how far are you planning to go with this story? Untill Harry arives at Grimmauld Place? |
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| Reviewer: Andrea | Date: 2004-04-22 |
| Reviewid: 79725 | Chapter: 15 |
Ooh, yum, another chapter! *bounces* Fabulous, as usual. Would give in depth review, but my History homework is waiting to be finished. I just love everything about it though...I can't believe I forgot to check for updates the last couple days. Oooh, I post links in my lj every time you update, so hopefully you'll get some more new readers soon!
*huggles* |
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| Reviewer: HeatherK | Date: 2004-04-21 |
| Reviewid: 79674 | Chapter: 15 |
| Goody goody goody goody!!!!! (claps hands and wiggles with excitement!!) Ok I don't think I've reviewed yet, but if I have forgive me, I'm going to gush. I love this story! It's a wonderful missing moment(or missing looooooong time as it were) and I'm enjoying seeing things from Sirius' perspective! And I'm so excited about this whole Remus/Tonks pairing that I'm seeing around now, it's so cute! I love it! And it works out quite well, opposites attract and they are definitely that! And you work in the way Sirius sometimes gets a little petulant and the tension b/t him and Molly about the children is beautifully written! I absolutely love this story! Puhleeeese update soon?!?!?! |
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| Reviewer: kathleen c. | Date: 2004-04-18 |
| Reviewid: 79285 | Chapter: 15 |
| That was a great chapter! Thanks for posting the new chapter so soon! You are by far my favorite author on sugarquill!! |
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| Reviewer: niki | Date: 2004-04-17 |
| Reviewid: 79231 | Chapter: 15 |
| after reading through this over the past few days I really got into the rhythm of the story and now I'm sad because there's no more left to read until you update again. Needless to say, I'm eager for more. Great work! |
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| Reviewer: niki | Date: 2004-04-17 |
| Reviewid: 79127 | Chapter: 5 |
| loved molly at the beginning of the chapter (she was in cahracter throughout, but her first appearance made me think "that is *so* molly weasley). Dumbledore's speech was fabulous; it's so hard to come up with suitably eloquent yet profound things for him to say, I know, I've tried, and you did it wonderfully. Another good chapter . . . |
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| Reviewer: niki | Date: 2004-04-17 |
| Reviewid: 79116 | Chapter: 1 |
ooh, i like. Your style is great, it flows nicely, and i can already tell that you will address a lot of things i have been wondering about (and some i haven't, probably). I see that it's already fifteen chapters long . . . pretty long prologue eh? :-)
Well Done |
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| Reviewer: hairy_hen | Date: 2004-04-16 |
| Reviewid: 79052 | Chapter: 15 |
| Great job as usual. I love the character interactions we see here, from Tonks' casual hinting towards Lupin, to Bill and Sirius joking around, to Sirius and Molly going at it over Harry. Contrary to what Molly says, I think she's the selfish one, as she refuses to admit that Harry might consider Sirius to be his family, and that Sirius understands him far better than she. Excellent job! |
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| Reviewer: Sabrina | Date: 2004-04-16 |
| Reviewid: 79047 | Chapter: 15 |
| Ahhh!!! That was brilliant!! This lovely Lupin-Tonks relationship is brilliant!! I love thit cliffhanger. Update soon..... |
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| Reviewer: Jolie Black | Date: 2004-04-15 |
| Reviewid: 78888 | Chapter: 14 |
****** Author's Note: ******
Thank you to all who have reviewed my story so far –it’s wonderful to know that you people out there are sharing the joy. :-)
In reply to some of your comments/questions:
Sabrina –
What was Remus trying to tell Sirius at the end of Chapter 13? Of course he was going to explain first why he didn’t come back or send word earlier. Apart from that, I don’t think Remus would have found this the ideal time and place to discuss any deeper matters with Sirius – but more importantly, I don’t think that he’s really quite “got” it yet himself. It’s still way too early for any sort of official announcement, don’t you think? ;-)
Starsea –
Is Tonks’s modesty the same as Harry’s when he talks about fighting Voldemort? First of all: I definitely wasn’t thinking about Harry when I wrote the scene about Tonks at the World Cup! Modesty is a kind of coping strategy for both of them, of course, but their motivations are very different. While Harry really doesn’t think it’s fun to be a hero (he knows what it means and hates it when people make light of it, as if fighting Voldemort was just a big adventure), Tonks’s World Cup experience really *was* a kind of fun adventure, at least in retrospect. She’s slightly embarrassed, but she doesn’t *really* mind people talking about it, even admiring her for it – I wouldn’t go as far as say she’s fishing for compliments, but she’s modest mainly because that’s the polite way of reacting (particularly in the company of people who she wants to think well of her), rather than because she thinks they don’t understand her true feelings.
hairy_hen –
Did Kingsley Shacklebolt know James? Was he in the original Order? My reading of the canon is that he wasn’t. Apart from the fact that he wasn’t in Moody’s photo: when Harry asks in chapter 5 of OOTP what the Order has achieved so far, Mr Weasley says “We’ve managed to convince a couple of people, though… Kingsley Shacklebolt’s been a real asset.” I take that to mean that Kingsley is one of the new members. And what Kingsley says in Chapter 3 of OOTP when he sees Harry (“I see what you mean, Remus – he looks exactly like James.”) is more a confirmation of something Remus must have told them about Harry’s appearance earlier on, rather than Kingsley’s own realisation. Having been in charge of the hunt for Sirius, Kingsley must naturally have been acquainted with Sirius’s history (in the version as the world knew it), so he must have come across the person of James Potter in his research of the case. He’s even got the Wedding Photo of James and Lily in his office cubicle – I think we need not look further than that for an explanation how he knows what James looked like, even if he’s never met him.
Jolie |
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| Reviewer: Coquillage | Date: 2004-04-14 |
| Reviewid: 78686 | Chapter: 14 |
| Every time I read another chapter in this story, and this time I read the last two together, I just don't know how you have the patience to craft such a piece of work. Your take on the wheres, whys and hows behind the little information we know is fresh and believable and so intricately thought out. And then you take that master plotting and present it in such well-written and heartfelt dialogue, with a wonderful eye and ear for detail... what else can I say? I look forward to every chapter and am never disappointed. Your Dumbledore in Chapter 13 was spot-on. I loved the camaraderie you developed in Chapter 14 (altho I was a bit worried about Dung's intentions when he gave them his gift and hastily departed). You have a great gift, thanks for sharing it with us. |
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| Reviewer: kathleen c. | Date: 2004-04-12 |
| Reviewid: 78250 | Chapter: 14 |
I just can't get enough of your writting!! I can't wait to read the rest of your story! You bring up points in the story, that I never even thought about before in the HP series! Keep it up!
~kc |
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| Reviewer: kathleen c. | Date: 2004-04-11 |
| Reviewid: 78124 | Chapter: 10 |
| I've only just finished chapter 10, but I love it so far! Your writting is just outstanding. I love the detail you add to the story! When I'm reading this, it feels like I'm really reading something from JKR! Thanks so much for writting! I'm going to keep reading now :) |
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| Reviewer: Andrea13 | Date: 2004-04-10 |
| Reviewid: 78078 | Chapter: 14 |
| *sniffs* Aww, you do Sirius' emotions so beautifully! The whole bit about the wand was just SO well done. Initial comfort in Dumbledore's words to that sick, cold feeling to (somewhat) reassurance. Great job! This has been such an interesting fic to read! I'm bad and don't review every chapter, but rest assured I'm readin them all! |
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| Reviewer: Starsea | Date: 2004-04-10 |
| Reviewid: 78069 | Chapter: 14 |
Wow, what a great chapter. The character interactions are right on the mark as usual, especially Moody and Tonks. We don't know much about Kingsley, but I loved him sticking up for Tonks and that little incident about the World Cup. Did you deliberately echo Harry's modesty over his fights with Voldemort or was it just part of Tonx's character for you? The discussion about Sirius's lack of trial was also very involving, deeply disturbing, brilliant.
xxx~Starsea~xxx |
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| Reviewer: hairy_hen | Date: 2004-04-10 |
| Reviewid: 77976 | Chapter: 14 |
Great chapter as always. I like how you worked Kingsley and Tonks into the World Cup, and how you make Dawlish out to be a bit shortsighted--he's definitely smart (Dumbledore said he got all O's on his NEWTs), but if he's willing to follow Fudge and Umbridge so blindly he must be a bit dim. Great explanation for how Sirius got his wand back, without it being a new one--that's probably something JKR didn't spend much time thinking about, since it's definitely not something that casual readers (like I used to be) would pick up on, that he had a wand in OotP when he didn't before. (Just like Voldemort somehow got his wand back in GoF without explanation.) And of course, Priori Incantatem could have proved Sirius innocent, showing he hadn't blown up the street--I like how you made that connection, and deliberately leave it ambiguous as to whether Crouch was determined to send him to Azkaban even with evidence. The Ministry really is corrupt, isn't it? Your explanations are so convincing I've decided that's how it really happened, until disproved by canon, which I'm sure they won't be. This story is brilliant!
One thing I just recently noticed when reading OotP again, is that when Harry is picked up by the Advance Guard, Kingsley comments that he looks just like James. This is a common occurence, but it may imply, since he uses his fist name, that Kingsley knew James when he was still alive. Perhaps he was in the Order of the Phoenix before? (I know he wasn't in the picture Moody showed Harry, but still...) Anyway, my point is that if he knew James, he must have known Sirius too, but in this story he had never met him before. I don't think it detracts from the story at all, I just thought you might like to know. |
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| Reviewer: Sabrina | Date: 2004-04-06 |
| Reviewid: 77434 | Chapter: 13 |
Jolie!! Your story is really good, I love it.
I have a question about chapter 13. When Lupin (I also love to call him Lupin and not Remus, it can also be Moony) is trying to talk to Sirius at the end of the meeting; is he trying to apologize because he was away or is he trying to tell him something about him & Tonks? |
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| Reviewer: Jolie Black | Date: 2004-04-06 |
| Reviewid: 77422 | Chapter: 13 |
****** Author's Note: ******
Thank you again everyone for your kind reviews, I really appreciate your feedback! :-)
In reply to some of your comments/questions:
Hairy_hen -
JKR *is* unclear about Apparation within the Department of Mysteries. You're right about the jinx Dumbledore uses... but on the other hand, if the DEs had been able to Apparate freely all over the place, I think Harry & friends wouldn't have stood a chance in the final fight. We never actually *see* any of the DEs just pop up (like at the other side of a locked door), do we? And maybe they'd already been lying in wait for Harry & co. in the Prophecy room. Anyway this is the best sense I can make of the issue - maybe it's one of those things that just *never* make sense whichever way you look at them.
calliope -
1) Rookwood changed his first name from Augustus in GoF to Algernon in OotP (Chapter 25, in the Daily Prophet article on the break-out). I personally liked Augustus better, but I figured the latest version of the name was the one we have to accept as current canon.
2) I addressed this issue at the end of Chapter 7, I believe - yes, I do think that Sirius thinks of Lupin as "Remus", so I tried to write him that way first, but "Remus" wasn't the Lupin I knew from the books. He just didn't feel right until I went back to calling him what JKR calls him in canon. I'm sorry if *that* doesn't feel right for you.
MrRobertsIII -
I'm sorry if I bored you (or anyone else) with Chapter 13, it's just one of those scenes that had to happen to explain things. The funny thing is that I actually scribbled down the first draft of it during an exceedingly dull Real Life staff meeting. I found writing about a dull meeting during a dull meeting really inspiring. ;-) Just take this for a touch of realism. I promise more action in the following chapters!
Jolie |
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| Reviewer: MrRobertsIII | Date: 2004-04-05 |
| Reviewid: 77305 | Chapter: 13 |
Nice, everyone in character, but dull. Yes, you need to have the Order, meet and yes, meetings can be dull. Oh well, hoping for something a bit more action-oriented in the next chapter.
You are doing a very good job with Sirius. I'm looking forward to his reaction to the dementor attack. |
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| Reviewer: calliope | Date: 2004-04-05 |
| Reviewid: 77285 | Chapter: 13 |
This is really very good. You write all the characters very accurately, and for once I don't find myself laughing when I try to imagine the characters saying their dialogue. I like the small details you have, like Hermione being the first to follow authority all the time.
Only two small things:
1) Rookwood's first name is actually Augustus, as stated in chapter 30 of GoF.
2) If this is in Sirius's POV, then shouldn't Lupin be referred to as Remus or maybe even Moony? |
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| Reviewer: Anna | Date: 2004-04-04 |
| Reviewid: 77222 | Chapter: 13 |
| Wonderful chapter! Hermione was espessially in character and the interaction between Snape & Sirius was also very true. please try to update soon! |
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| Reviewer: Olivia Wood | Date: 2004-04-03 |
| Reviewid: 77102 | Chapter: 13 |
It's a good fic, but pretty depressing since we all know Sirius' going to die before long... :( *sigh*
Anyway, keep up the good work and Updadate soon! |
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| Reviewer: hairy_hen | Date: 2004-04-03 |
| Reviewid: 77012 | Chapter: 13 |
I love this story, it is without doubt the best fan fiction I have ever read. The best part is that everyone is completely in character, and interact with each other convincingly. I'm intrigued by your theories about the Department of Mysteries, particularly the anti-Apparation spells. It makes sense they would be there, otherwise it would be pointless to guard the entrance to the department. But I"m sure that the Death Eaters were able to Apparate into the department at the end of the book when Harry and co. were there. And also, Dumbledore secured the Death Eaters with an Anti-Disapparation Jinx when he arrived at the end, implying that it would have been possible otherwise. But since the security at the Ministry appears to have been totally sabotaged, allowing Harry to get in so easily, perhaps the Death Eaters found a way to eliminate the protective spells.
Reading this makes me appreciate slightly more the great pains of secrecy that Dumbledore had to enforce, and to be a bit more sympathetic to his silence towards Harry. But I still think it was very wrong of him, because it made Harry an emotional wreck, and ultimately Sirius died because of it. |
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| Reviewer: Sabrina | Date: 2004-04-01 |
| Reviewid: 76722 | Chapter: 12 |
Jolie, I love your story!!
I am really sad because of Sirius death in JK`s story so it is really nice to read a story about him!
The love story between Tonks and Lupin is brilliant. I mean, I don´t know why Lupin is always so alone in JK books.
Please update soon!! |
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| Reviewer: Angela | Date: 2004-03-31 |
| Reviewid: 76643 | Chapter: 12 |
Long wait for a good, long chapter. I loved the Snape scenes, I was thinking much like Hestia Jones: what drives Snape, anyway?
Don't make the wait be so long for the next chapter! |
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| Reviewer: Linnet | Date: 2004-03-30 |
| Reviewid: 76509 | Chapter: 12 |
Each chapter of yours just gets better and better! You've really got me wondering about Hestia Jones! As usual, you have characterization down perfectly-I especially enjoy your Sirius, Lupin, and Snape.
"Books have a soul, you know.”
Ah, yes, how I feel about books.
"Whatever it is,” George said casually, “I hope it eats him up soon, preferably before the start of the new school year.”
This made me laugh--one of my favorite lines! Anywho, fabulous job, per usual, and I'd love to see an update soon!
-Linnet |
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| Reviewer: Amélie | Date: 2004-03-30 |
| Reviewid: 76377 | Chapter: 12 |
First and foremost, I love this. I think you've really captured the many aspects of Sirius : his restlessness and irritation, but also his dry humor and underlying sadness. Really, really great.
And I'm usually not one to get excited about ships (except R/H, of course!), but I love the way you incorporated Lupin/Tonks in the story. Reading it, I thought it felt simple & natural ; something to remind us that, even in dark times, people can feel giddy & happy & delightfully embarassed all at once.
So, bravo :) |
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| Reviewer: Starsea | Date: 2004-03-29 |
| Reviewid: 76283 | Chapter: 12 |
Great chapter - I loved the little revelation about Snape, and the brief glimpse into another side of him for Sirius. His interactions with the younger generation were also excellent.
xxx~Starsea~xxx |
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| Reviewer: Coquillage | Date: 2004-03-29 |
| Reviewid: 76281 | Chapter: 12 |
| Oooh, that whole bit with Snape was really, really good. Really gross, but really good thinking. What have you got up your sleeve? Another enjoyable chapter. I had such a good mental image of Sirius and the kids sitting on the stairs. Looking forward to more. |
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| Reviewer: narcisstic_reflection | Date: 2004-03-27 |
| Reviewid: 75964 | Chapter: 11 |
| oh gosh i love your story, i've read all 11 chapters and i hope you update soon!!! you have portrayed the characters wonderfully, and it is very well written. |
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| Reviewer: Elsha | Date: 2004-03-24 |
| Reviewid: 75796 | Chapter: 11 |
I read this whole story over at fa.net, and it's just as good the second time! Sirius is true to his OoTP character, and I really like seeing him interact with Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. People tend to forget that Sirius probably spent more cumulative time with them than with Harry - a fact which will probably come back to bite Our Hero in the sixth book if he accuses one of them of "not understanding".
"If the portrait over there comes visiting, don’t mind him if he’s rude. He can’t help it, it runs in the family."
*grins* Too, too true. Gotta love Phineas. |
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| Reviewer: Susan Lynn | Date: 2004-03-20 |
| Reviewid: 75340 | Chapter: 11 |
| What continues to impress me about your story is your amazing attention to detail such as Crookshanks's recognization of Sirius. You have woven these small details into a story that is both familiar to us as the prologue to OotP and refreshingly new as we uncover what really happened while Harry was hiding out in the hydrangea bushes listening to the evening news. I'm curious whether your story will conclude with Harry's arrival at 12 Grimmauld Place or when he and the others depart for Hogwarts. |
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| Reviewer: Linnet | Date: 2004-03-19 |
| Reviewid: 75207 | Chapter: 11 |
"It looked very much as if it was Sirius who had been dead for fifteen years, while Regulus only seemed to have gone out for the moment and was expected back home at any time."
Somehow this was a very powerful line...captures the irony of Regulus being the one with all the evidence of still being alive when he's the one who's dead, and vice-versa.
“This house is wicked,” one of them said in awe. “How did you get hold of a place like this, Sirius?”
“By waiting until my parents died,” Sirius said matter-of-factly. “It’s still wicked enough without them."
Ha! I loved that. You've got Sirius's bitter attitude down perfectly.
"Sirius decided not to tell Hermione what he thought was the really sick part of the story."
I didn't quite get what you meant...what did he think was the really sick part of the story?
“But Sirius – “ Hermione’s eyes travelled back and forth between him and the now perfectly still curtains. “She said – she said, you’re no son – “
“Yeah, that was a lie, actually,” said Sirius bitterly. “Because technically speaking, I am.”
There was a stunned silence. Then, “Blimey,” Fred said in an awed whisper, “and I thought our mother shouting at us was bad.”
This made me chuckle. Fred's hilarious--but how did Sirius tell them apart this time? :) jk!
“I didn’t mean that,” said Sirius. “I was only wondering how they’ve just managed to Disapparate from an Apparation -proof house.”
Oooh... can't you just imagine Mrs. Weasley's face when she heard that? |
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| Reviewer: Arlo | Date: 2004-03-18 |
| Reviewid: 75075 | Chapter: 11 |
I wondered that myself... shouldn't it be apparation proof??? keep up the good work looking forward to more!!
Do F&G know Sirius is Padfoot yet??Can't wait for them to find out. |
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| Reviewer: Coquillage | Date: 2004-03-17 |
| Reviewid: 75028 | Chapter: 11 |
“Stop it!” Ginny Weasley suddenly hissed at him.
Oh, oh - you set me up! I wasn't expecting you to draw that connection, and it dawned on me just as Ginny spoke, I swear I gasped out loud. You are doing a wonderful job using all the rich, untapped material at your disposal.
Between the last chapter and this, I feel as if I am Sirius.
How do you update so quickly? And does Sirius sense the importance of Gred and Forge?
Good stuff. Looking forward to more. |
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| Reviewer: Angela | Date: 2004-03-17 |
| Reviewid: 75007 | Chapter: 10 |
Again, very very nice chapter. Your writing is very good, and I continue to enjoy Sirius' characterization. Perhaps my favorite bit was Sirius expecting Lupin:
"Lupin hadn’t been in a hurry to get back, so Sirius wouldn’t be in a hurry to greet him and hear his news, either."
So petulent, selfish even, and yet so understandable too! Loved it! |
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| Reviewer: Coquillage | Date: 2004-03-15 |
| Reviewid: 74712 | Chapter: 10 |
| I really am impressed with the patience and detail you are putting in to filling these gaps. This conversation between Sirius and Tonks was wonderfully done. I was thinking along Sirius' lines, "hey, there's an invisibility cloak..." but Tonks put me in my place. Very well written, very well thought-out. |
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| Reviewer: Dzenka | Date: 2004-03-14 |
| Reviewid: 74679 | Chapter: 10 |
| Excellent little detail that Sirius doesn't know who "Pig" is! I never would have thought of that myself, but it makes perfect sense! |
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| Reviewer: Andrea | Date: 2004-03-14 |
| Reviewid: 74557 | Chapter: 10 |
| You did it again! I loved Chapter Nine, and am printing out chapter ten so I can read it comfortably with a nice cup of tea! Looking forward to it... |
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| Reviewer: MaryAnne der Esel | Date: 2004-03-14 |
| Reviewid: 74539 | Chapter: 10 |
| Yet another excellent chapter! I really liked the comparisons you drew between Harry and Sirius, with how they're both stuck in a house they hate and forced to call it home. I had never thought of it that way before. ^_^ Over all, this is simply a amazing story! I check sugarquill every single day for updates, so please post the next chapter soon! |
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| Reviewer: Angela | Date: 2004-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 74061 | Chapter: 9 |
Another great chapter, woohoo! Poor Sirius, cooped up like that. It makes so much sense now, those scenes in OotP at Grimmauld where Sirius is super-bitter.
Keep going! |
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| Reviewer: Three Sickles Short | Date: 2004-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 74011 | Chapter: 9 |
Ooo, excellent chapter break! Even if it is a moderately evil cliff-hanger.
I loved Bill reassuring Sirius that, since Molly isn't harping at him about his hair, she must like him. Not that it's doing Sirius much good right now, poor guy. His frustration is totally realistic, and totally in character. Lovely job.
What a pain Phineas is. Wonder if he'll wish he'd treated Sirius better....
As ever, I eagerly await the next chapter.
TSS |
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| Reviewer: MrRobertsIII | Date: 2004-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 73986 | Chapter: 9 |
“She hasn’t asked you to cut your hair yet, has she? If I were you, I’d take that as a good sign.”
-Good point!
good job with Phineas Nigellus |
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| Reviewer: Coquillage | Date: 2004-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 73971 | Chapter: 9 |
Wow.
Let me take a breath. I have just read all 9 chapters in one sitting.
Wow.
The introduction of the characters behind the scenes, the dramas you're adding on your own, the interplay between Sirius and Remus, the description of their surroundings (I love great description), the teases. The way Dumbledore and McGonagall make Sirius and Remus feel like schoolboys. The reality of their pain. Sirius's "ouch" that says a million words. And my very favorite image, Albus Dumbledore pulling eggs out of his robes... I say again, wow.
I was late jumping on the bandwagon, but I'm on for the ride. |
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| Reviewer: Meg | Date: 2004-03-09 |
| Reviewid: 73844 | Chapter: 3 |
So rare is it to find a Harry Potter fic thats fits and follows canon perciesly with the charm of J.K Rowling's writing and quirk while the author adds his or her own style and humor to it. Yes it is rare, but lookee here I found one.
Wow, this just blows me away. How do you keep evrything in your writng so.... perfect? You have just the amount of dry humour mixed with the exact amount of seriousness. And your characters, dear heavens your characters. How in the world do you keep them so tactfully IC? Mind you, I am not one to gush and boost ego in my reviews but I'll make an exception. You've managed to elaborate but still keep their characteristics, particulary Remus and Sirius. The dialogue flows naturally and the conversations are not stiff. My favortive part so far was the little snippet Remus and Sirius get into (chapt.3)
Moving on, wonderful work! Keep it on coming. You know, I might start accepting this as canon (maybe)
-meg |
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| Reviewer: Ronja | Date: 2004-03-09 |
| Reviewid: 73842 | Chapter: 8 |
I?ve already reviewed this story over at ff.net, but started to reread it again over her. Your story is definitely worth it.
I really like the background you have created. It is so true canon that it is nearly depressing. Anyway, I don?t have anything interesting to say other than that I adore the way you write all the characters.
My favorite line in this chapter:
?Our discussion is certainly reaching awe-inspiring academic levels here.? (very lovable Bill you have there (-:) |
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| Reviewer: Kate Lynn | Date: 2004-03-09 |
| Reviewid: 73759 | Chapter: 8 |
Great chapter.
You do a nice job of capturing Sirius' antsiness from being cooped up for so long, and his concern over Harry.
I was a little confused over Tonks' age as well, but there might be a reason for her to be older than I thought. (Including the reason of me just being dead wrong ;) )
I was also a little surprised by Bill's attitude towards Muggles. But we don't know much about him from canon, so it isn't wrong, just not how I normally characterized him. I'll be interested to seeing your development of him. If you go into this side more, I think it would be fascinating.
Tonks was wonderfully characterized. I look forward to more T/L interaction.
And a nice cliffhanger! A great, great last line.
Thanks for sharing this, I look forward to more chapters.
Kate Lynn |
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| Reviewer: Angela | Date: 2004-03-08 |
| Reviewid: 73704 | Chapter: 8 |
Great chapter!! I really liked the backstory of Tonks (finally, someone likes Snape!) as well as the issue of Lupin's transformation. This is a very well-written story.
Keep it up! |
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| Reviewer: Gyakutenno | Date: 2004-03-07 |
| Reviewid: 73588 | Chapter: 2 |
| Concerning Lupin and 12 Grimmauld Place- I've noticed that just about everything in that hellhole seems to be silver, and depending on who you ask, silver in general, just silver bullets, or nothing of the sort is bad news for werewolves. It seems likely that in the Harry Potter books it's silver in general, because Rowling makes a point of mentioning that the goblets are silver and then that Lupin's drinking out of them, so it'd probably make him feel a bit poorly. And according to Rowling, he's a half-blood, which would make Mrs. Black hate him even more. |
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| Reviewer: Gyakutenno | Date: 2004-03-07 |
| Reviewid: 73585 | Chapter: 1 |
| Hey, remember me, from Fanfiction.net? I was Gyakutenno Megami, but if I'm not gonna be reading anime fanfics I decided I shouldn't have a looooong Japanese name. So I guess it is a small world. Did I ever mention that sometimes I think you're a bit of a better author than Rowling herself at times? Or at least just as good. I guess I shouldn't re-review it, since I already reviewed on FF.net. |
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| Reviewer: MaryAnne der Esel | Date: 2004-03-07 |
| Reviewid: 73478 | Chapter: 8 |
| Ah! Cliffhanger! Post the next chapter soon because this is such an great story I'm not sure how long I can wait! |
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| Reviewer: Linnet | Date: 2004-03-07 |
| Reviewid: 73442 | Chapter: 8 |
This was great! Glad you updated fairly quickly--I absolutely LOVE this story. I love how Remus calls Tonks Nymphadora-just like he does in the Dursley's house in OotP. I'm sensing some Remus/Tonks here--I'm usually not a big fan of it, but if you have it in here, I have a feeling it'll turn out fine.
-Linnet |
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