The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)


Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Correspondence
Review(s): 27

Reviewer: Bering ning niong ning BBBAAAAHHHHDate: 2005-03-21
Reviewid: 117351Chapter: 1

Reviewer: Reader2Date: 2005-03-20
Reviewid: 117181Chapter: 1
Well Done - writing, idea, style - Truly a good tale.

Reviewer: CherryDate: 2004-04-24
Reviewid: 80013Chapter: 1
Wow! Wow! Just wow! I love this. It's my third time reading it and I haven't reviewed yet! Sorry about that. You are awesome and I want more. The only thing is I want to know what the letter says. Please email me if you can tell me what the letter says. You are an awesoe writer and I love your stories. Well gotta go shoppin. I'm going to Australia!

Reviewer: ElphyDate: 2004-04-19
Reviewid: 79461Chapter: 1
Although this seems to be a quiet piece of writing with no 'action', it actually is very strong. Strong in its emotional and revelationary content; from Neville hiding from his Uncle Algie and Gran, to his first sight and inspection of the attic and then finally to him finding and holding his parents' possessions. Up until this point we are travelling physically with Neville, but once he opens the two carefully labelled boxes and finds his parents' jewellery, photos, certificates and finally Lily's letter, we move into the emotional journey. We go on the same learning journey and feel the same sense of sadness and eventual suspicion that Neville does. I would say that this is a very powerful, insightful gem of a piece of writing and I thoroughly enjoyed it

Reviewer: MaartjeDate: 2004-03-12
Reviewid: 74303Chapter: 1
Ah! I love it. Applause!! And finally, finally someone who thought of Lily and Alice being friends. I love Neville.

Reviewer: GwenDate: 2004-03-12
Reviewid: 74236Chapter: 1
That was so sad i all most cryed but it was a fantastic story, keep it up!

Reviewer: PadfootsAngelDate: 2004-02-01
Reviewid: 69164Chapter: 1
WOW !!!! Thats all I can say . By da way (incase u didn`t know) ur a really talented writer :OD

Reviewer: Fluffy_RoseDate: 2004-01-31
Reviewid: 69053Chapter: 1
Ohhhhhhh! I really liked that, it was really realistic, and so like Neville to hide from Uncle Algie! It was lovely to find a fic about Neville after the whole DoM affair, and I really liked your interpretation of his feelings. The gentle humour was there just when it was needed, and the letter from Lily was so bittersweet, and heart-felt. Well done! A brilliant fic!

Reviewer: Simply BDate: 2004-01-28
Reviewid: 68736Chapter: 1
I'm sitting here crying like poor Alice must have been and I think your story is beautiful. I wish you would continued it and tell us about what Neville writes to Harry.

Reviewer: dinkaDate: 2004-01-08
Reviewid: 66199Chapter: 1
excuse me, I think I have something in my eye.

there, that's better.
that was so sad...

I love the way you write Neville. I thought your depiction of him was perfect. His anxiety of facing Uncle Algie, and how he forgot about that fear after reading the letter from Harry's mother to his own...

This is a very well written story, which demonstrates just how brave Neville really is.

Wonderful and touching. *tear*


Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2003-12-30
Reviewid: 65221Chapter: 1
A wonderful story! Just like Neville, I could see Lily writing her letter with a shaking hand, and Alice crying over it. You did an excellent job with this.

It's easier to read if the letters are a bit bigger and if there's space between the paragraphs.

And I was surprised that Neville knew about the prophecy. I suppose Frank could've told his mother about it, who told Neville, but it's not very likely, since the Order was (and is) really secret.

But aside from these two things, I've got nothing bad to say about this. It's a really wonderful story! And I would love to read the letter Neville writes to Harry...

Reviewer: DonDate: 2003-12-30
Reviewid: 65217Chapter: 1
Nice job!! I really enjoyed this. I think you've taken a nice angle on the Prophecy. I could see Lily feeling sympathy for the Longbottoms and writing to Alice in just that way. And I like the way that you have Neville's reaction be one of sympathy toward Harry. I think Neville would feel lucky compared to Harry.

Well done!

Reviewer: NigellaDate: 2003-12-21
Reviewid: 64238Chapter: 1
I found this so moving, especially the letter - and it's all beautifully written. I love the Book Worms! Looking forward to more of your writing.

Re pumpkin pie: it's true that it's not generally eaten by British Muggles (I'm one!) - but who's to say that wizards don't partake of it on special occasions like Hallowe'en? I'm quite prepared to accept that they do!

Reviewer: Nvr2BlondeDate: 2003-12-19
Reviewid: 63954Chapter: 1
This is a charming, moving story. I hope you decide to continue it. My favorite line is "...with Mad-Eye Moody looking much younger but no less frightening". I can picture him very well!
Love from, Leah

Reviewer: LeelaDate: 2003-12-18
Reviewid: 63876Chapter: 1
This was very enjoyable! I could really see Lily and Alice becoming close, especially as they were pregnant at the same time. There's something very special about being pregnant at the same time as your girlfriends; you tend to share every little change and especially the gory details! ;~)
I'd like to think that Neville would show the letter to Harry; I think Harry would appreciate it.

Reviewer: FrankieDate: 2003-12-16
Reviewid: 63555Chapter: 1
What a bittersweet story. I love the idea of Alice and Lily being friends as well as co-workers, and I like the fact that Lily would write to her about her fears.

"You understand, don't you? We're both in the same boat. "

Wonderful. Very well done.

Reviewer: Zahri Seb MelitorDate: 2003-12-16
Reviewid: 63554Chapter: 1
Neville fic! *bounces*

I like it, Steppenwolf. Congratulations on an engrossing beginning to an interesting fic. It is beginning, is it not? *looks suspicious*

The fact that Alice's most precious documents were her Hogwarts letter, her Auror qualifications certificate and a letter from Lily is lovely, but also very sad. She valued her friendship with Lily so highly, and the last letter that Lily was able to write to her before that Hallowe'en. I think the two were so lucky to be friends with each other.

I like how you described Lily and Alice's friendship. The two must have been friends of some sort, and they really only did have each other, their respective partners and Dumbledore to confide to about the prophecy. The comments in the letter about "I wonder sometimes if I'm not married to Alastor instead" and Lily's need to reach out to the only other woman who understnads her predicament provides such a pitiful glimpse of what it must have been like for the two women in those terrifying first few years of caring for their babies.

I love that Neville starts a correspondence with Harry, who could really use a decent conversation with Neville., and the echoes of their mothers.

A few small quibbles: "featured Dad and Mum together; grinning over pumpkin pie at the Gryffindor House table, the Hall obviously decked out for Halloween;" I thought that they didn't have pumpkin pie in Britain. Also, in the last line I think it's "prophecy" instead of "prophesy", in that context.

Otherwise, I really, really, really, really, really like it, Steppenwolf. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.

Reviewer: BeakerDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63475Chapter: 1
Oh, this was great! Congratulations on your first post. I really like how closely you adhered to canon, while still giving us more to look at and consider. I like how you have Neville considering the same kinds of things Harry has wondered about him. Neville will really be coming into his own in the next book, I suspect--and he has a lot more to think about now than he did before. Thanks for showing some of it to us.

Reviewer: PaulineDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63424Chapter: 1
This is a very emotionally engaging and thought-provoking little story. As earlier reviewers have mentioned, it works well as a one-shot, but would also be a great prologue if you ever wanted to take it further.

One of the things I particularly liked was the way you were able to switch seamlessly from wry, almost humorous observations like:

"But after venturing into the Department of Mysteries in June - and confronted with his great-uncle's zeal - the prospect of spiders, Boggarts and Doxies was highly preferable."

- to stark and sombre statements such as:

"He felt suddenly very bad for Harry. At least he, Neville, still had his parents. He could see them when he wanted, talk to them and hope that they might get better one day. They still lived."

You have quite a gift for description, noticing little things like the pins and needles in Neville's feet or his pride in his Hogwarts letter. And, you use short sentences to great effect.

You've also given us a very authentic view of the Longbottoms. I love the idea that Neville would hiding from Uncle Algie, and Gran's, "what sort of manners did he have," comment to Nevile was spot on. But especially, the friendship you establish between Lily and Alice makes so much sense, when you consider all the things they had in common.

In fact, my only qualm about this wonderful fic is its formatting. My aged and rheumy eyes have a bit of trouble with the small font, and you might consider including a space between paragraphs.

But, it was well worth the eye strain. :) Well done! I can't wait to read whatever you write next.

Reviewer: FiannaDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63412Chapter: 1
Well done Stepps! I can just picture Neville in the attic - I can almost feel the dust tickling my nose. Very sweet images of Neville finding his parents photo's and letters. I felt quite moved by Lily's letter to Alice - I liked the "voice" you gave her. I could really imagine her terror. You increased her fear in the letter, it seemed very realistic. I especially felt moved by the following:

<I think of you all every morning that I wake up and still have James and Harry safe and alive. I pray that you've woken to find Frank and Neville safe with you. I pray that nothing happens to you. I pray that nothing happens to us. I pray that nothing happens at all and Sybil Trelawney turns out to be a big fraud. Lets both hold onto that hope.>

Again, I loved it, Stepps. Good job!!
Fee (Your most faithful and adoring fan)

Reviewer: SennaDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63372Chapter: 1
nice! i like how neville feels just as bad for harry as harry does for him.


Reviewer: JennDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63349Chapter: 1
That was awesome! It's great on it's own but I hope you write a sequel!

Reviewer: jonDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63337Chapter: 1
As a fellow Neville-enthusiast, I have to say that this story great. well-written, in-character, and poignant. well done!

Reviewer: DSDragonDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63324Chapter: 1
This. Is. Awesome! Although, I only read the letter and the bit after it at the end (the text was all squashed together, so I didn't want to strain my eyes before I got to the letter itself), I still think it's brilliant. Will you be continuing? I'd love to see Harry's reaction to Neville's letter.

Reviewer: BeckyDate: 2003-12-14
Reviewid: 63276Chapter: 1
That was very sweet.

Reviewer: Steve CalabreseDate: 2003-12-14
Reviewid: 63266Chapter: 1
Excellent story. It can work as a stand-alone one shot to the prologue for something bigger. I hope you continue...


Reviewer: Llewella d'ambreDate: 2003-12-14
Reviewid: 63256Chapter: 1
This was a wonderful read! I really like stories from the POV of the less popular characters, and Neville is a good choice. I think you characterized him wondefully... I can see all of this happening. A wonderful beginning, I can't wait to read more!

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --