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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Number Twelve
Review(s): 22

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-03-25
Reviewid: 141303Chapter: 1
Quite good

Reviewer: HollyDate: 2004-09-23
Reviewid: 99107Chapter: 1
This is so saddening!!! *sob* *sniff* CRYING!!! It's well written though.

~Holly~

Reviewer: * Pheonix * i know i spelled it wrongDate: 2004-07-21
Reviewid: 93460Chapter: 1
die kreacher die

Reviewer: KathrynDate: 2004-07-05
Reviewid: 90636Chapter: 1
good fan fic! i wish it was longer more chapters... poor sirius he doesn't sound very happy in this story... it was very good like i said...

Reviewer: MelodieDate: 2004-04-08
Reviewid: 77737Chapter: 1
Hm. From the beginning of OotP, I got the impression that Molly disapproved of Sirius because of his irresponsibility... I don't think that she tried to mother him or "fix" him... although that does sound like a Molly Weasley-type thing to do.

When Sirius asks, "What lies did you feed him, Kreacher?" isn't Kreacher bound to answer him because Sirius is his master? I recall something about how Kreacher would never dare disobey a direct order.

I like the way you described Sirius's thoughts and emotions. You did a really nice job with Sirius's characterization. His bitterness is evident, but so is his obvious love and caring for Harry.

Phineas Nigellus's dialogue is really well-written, especially since there isn't much of and example in the books.

Nice job... I wish you'd write a chaptered fic.

Reviewer: JolieDate: 2004-02-29
Reviewid: 72618Chapter: 1
Congratulations, Narcissa, on tackling a very difficult subject – one that I couldn’t write about without bursting into tears over and over again – and tackling it so successfully!


Sirius is wonderfully in character, his very own irritable and irritated OOTP self. His conversation with Phineas Nigellus is annoyingly entertaining (they’re fun to write, aren’t they? ;-)), and so is the brief dialogue with Snape.

And it's heart breaking how his Azkaban trauma has become, in a twisted but understandable way, a source of pride for him, and a shield against the world (and himself, in some ways).

>>>> Molly, who’d come in and staked claim to the house—his house, much as he loathed to admit it—and decided that he was an excellent project that needed repairing. <<<

Very well said. Also how Molly is trying to make him a replacement for Percy, I’m sure that’s as bitter as it is true.


The idea that you could work an A.K. curse on yourself in the mirror is both scary and fascinating.



One question though: How does Sirius *know* that Harry is getting himself into trouble going after Voldemort? Before the other Order members turn up, there was no one who told him, was there? But the sentiments there are spot on – “not this time”, indeed.


I would have imagined that both Sirius and the members of the Order would have quite lost their heads at the news of Harry’s little excursion to the DoM, and that there would have been a lot more shouting and arguing about the fact that Sirius wanted to come along, so the quiet resolution that you write for him was quite a surprise! But it works very well.


In fact, that’s what I like about the story: We all know it’s the lead-up to some extremely dramatic and tragic events, but no one *in* the story realises that yet. “Sirius’s last hour in Grimmauld Place” would be so easy to write in a way that drowns everything in heavy tragic foreshadowing, but you avoid that very impressingly. After all, that’s what life (and death) is like – most often, there’s no knowing what will come, and, least of all for those concerned most closely, and no time for closure. :-(

The last few lines, with the quiet descending over the house, sum this up perfectly. :-)


Jolie

Reviewer: GufaDate: 2004-02-14
Reviewid: 70686Chapter: 1
You're one of the few "Sirius writers" that I enjoy reading. For such a deep character, a deep writer is needed.
This is not my favorite of your pieces, but it's incredible too. The last bit...quiet descending over the house, Buckbeak swallowing a rat...is perfect. I hope the rat is Wormtail.
Keep writing!

Gufa

Reviewer: KaraDate: 2004-01-28
Reviewid: 68708Chapter: 1
*tear* No, Sirius! Stay home! Stay home!

Wonderful writing. Its so tragic to know that Sirius will never come back. *tear* Sirius was so in character. It makes me really sad to remember just how lonely Sirius was when he died. *sighs*

Still, absolutely wonderful writing. The timing is perfect and everything!

Reviewer: EstherDate: 2003-12-25
Reviewid: 64821Chapter: 1
Oh that was excellent. You did a really good job exploring Sirius' character. I love him because he has so much depth to him and I think you did well with him in this story. Aww Sirius...

Reviewer: CorgiDate: 2003-12-25
Reviewid: 64784Chapter: 1
You've captured Sirius's second imprisonment so well; and the 'substitute Percy' bit is still brilliantly intuitive. I really like how you worked out the communication with Snape, that fits in very well now. That's a nifty device.

How am I ever gonna managed to do my version of this now? *grin*

Reviewer: Hunter's MoonDate: 2003-12-23
Reviewid: 64498Chapter: 1
I really liked this fic. It was a keen insight into Sirius' mind; I especially enjoyed hearing his thoughts on Molly and his time in Azkaban. I also enjoyed the ending scene with Buckbeak, though I can't quite define why. All in all, yet another great fic. :)

Reviewer: P.D.YerfDate: 2003-12-16
Reviewid: 63570Chapter: 1
Wow, that was great. Although I imagined it that Snape informed them about the Department and Harry and everything, it makes sense that Sirius's attention was attracted by Kreacher talking in the fire. Great idea, the music box. In fact, amazingly well written story. Keep it up.

Reviewer: TaraDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63513Chapter: 1
Wow. Lots of people have tried to write the bitterness, and the frustration, and the anger that Sirius obviously was feeling...but I don't think I've ever seen anyone do it as well as you did. This was a chillingly realistic story, and I really enjoyed reading it, in a morbid sort of way... :)

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63458Chapter: 1
This fic has single-handedly changed my opinion about Sirius in OotP. Until now, I thought his actions were ridiculously irrational, but this fic does an excellent job of showing him in a sympathetic light. Yes, Molly probably did treat him like an “excellent project that needed repairing” and a “substitute Percy”. And how heart-breaking was the scene where he tries to call Harry in the mirror? This was well written and totally changed my perception of Sirius.

Reviewer: PoocaDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63444Chapter: 1
Wow... this was really, very good. I loved the effect of the short Buckbeak segment at the end-- and I liked how the description of Azkaban's physical effects on Sirius. Sirius' character was well done, he had the right mixture of loneliness and anger and despression. I liked this fic a lot, can't wait to see what you write next. :o)

Reviewer: miss_lily_lupinDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63433Chapter: 1
Wow. So wonderfully written, but then again, do I expect anything less? I love it! I absolutely love it!

Reviewer: Sailor SolDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63415Chapter: 1
Wow, wonderful story. Poor Sirius. A great look into his character. Very realistic, and very nicely done.

Reviewer: RobinDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63413Chapter: 1
Oh, wow.

I've never seen someone write a bitterly mature Sirius so well. This is simply...amazing. I'm out of words to say; all I can think about is how masterfully you've managed the entire thing. Everyone is so in character, especially Kreacher and Sirius, and I love the ending, even though I know where it must lead. Very well done!

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2003-12-15
Reviewid: 63397Chapter: 1
Oh my...that was really wonderful, yet so very sad! This passage just made my heart leap up into my throat:

"There was no response. There was never a response. Harry didn’t want to talk to him, or he’d have used his twin of this mirror long ago."

Boy, if you wanted to make a statement about regrets, you've done a wonderful job. I don't imagine Harry would be able to bear thinking that Sirius felt that way. I really love the pacing of this story - the fact that it moves slowly is great because of its rich detail and realistic dialogue...and at the same time agonizing since you know what happens at the end of the story. Thanks for writing such a great story & sharing it with us.

Reviewer: Erin GowerDate: 2003-12-14
Reviewid: 63281Chapter: 1
Lady Narcissa,

You are one of my favorite writers on the Quill. You write with an ease that really reminds me of J.K. herself. Your characters are so true to the those written in the books it's really quite amazing. Keep up the terrific work!!!

Reviewer: Zephyrus_ProlixityDate: 2003-12-14
Reviewid: 63271Chapter: 1
Another awesome heart wrenching look into the mind and emotions of Sirius Black. I found this to be an entirely credible even likely story. Well done.

Reviewer: Llewella d'ambreDate: 2003-12-14
Reviewid: 63258Chapter: 1
Beautiful! You have such an elegent writing style, I really enjoyed reading this. A beautifully done missing moment, encompassing everything that could have gone on. *sniffle* Oh, Sirius!

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