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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 372

Reviewer: BrittaDate: 2007-06-23
Reviewid: 148324Chapter: 12
This really is one of my favourite Lily/James fics. I enjoy rereading it once in a while. You got the characters very much in-canon, imo.

Reviewer: shiikiDate: 2007-05-12
Reviewid: 147995Chapter: 12
I used to follow this story a long time ago, I know, but I lost track of it and only just found it again - and complete! So here I am, finally reviewing (if I haven't before; I can't recall), and I want you to know that I loved this, and still do. This last chapter that I've missed all this while was a most thrilling one - the action was well done, and you have James and Lily written in a very realistic manner.

I just wanted to mention the proposal specially - I thought it was the cutest way for him to ask ... so matter-of-factly that I nearly missed it and then did a double-take - 'what?!' Ha, it's funny. Brilliant!

Reviewer: rotemDate: 2007-04-28
Reviewid: 147874Chapter: 12
simply amazing... i'm speechless. loved every chapter, and you've made me even more inlove with the marauders than i already was... :)

Reviewer: TalaDate: 2006-10-17
Reviewid: 145786Chapter: 12
I absolutely adore this story. I only found it just now. All the characterizations are just spot on and it really makes you feel everything. I can't wait to read the next part.

Reviewer: RevellynDate: 2006-08-24
Reviewid: 144991Chapter: 12
What an absolutely marvelous read!!! I loved everything - from your characterisation, to your dialogue, to the atmosphere created during the scenes. It was touching and surreally real.

Reviewer: SillyGillieDate: 2005-12-28
Reviewid: 137730Chapter: 12
Fantastic. Truely brilliant. I loved it, thank you for writing!

Reviewer: hey there delilahDate: 2005-11-28
Reviewid: 136426Chapter: 12
oh this is so sweet. i love this story. i especially like how lily isn't, like, hermione's long lost clone or something. i also love how everything (cough) was kept tasteful. well done. A breath of fresh air.

Reviewer: gabDate: 2005-10-25
Reviewid: 135133Chapter: 12
that was a really good story:D keep it up and i sugest you put it up in more fanfic websites so more people will enjoy themselves like i did:D
congrats!

Reviewer: Rictusempra80Date: 2005-10-19
Reviewid: 134824Chapter: 12
One of the best Marauders story I've read so far, please update soon. Kisses from Argentina ;)

Reviewer: AmandelleDate: 2005-10-17
Reviewid: 134693Chapter: 12
GLORIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is so much to love in this story! Especially your James, crazy and concieted, kind and wonderful. And I love the fact that if you mix your James with your Lily you get a totaly perfect Harry. All the other characters where also perfect beyond words. The plot were just as good and I stayed up way to long to read it all. Best Lil' and Jamsie fic EVER!

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-10-17
Reviewid: 134643Chapter: 12
Quite excellent. Really well done. Thank You. Wow. Absolutely wonderful.

Reviewer: MichelleDate: 2005-09-16
Reviewid: 132620Chapter: 12
:) That was amazing! Perfect way to end it, I think. I loved how the whole fic covered almost everything JK gave us, and much more. A wonderful ending to a wonderful fic!

Reviewer: NikkiDate: 2005-08-24
Reviewid: 130776Chapter: 12
This fic...is absolutlely wonderful. It made me so happy, and the ending was simply pricless. The characterization was so great, I can definetly see this as canon. Just...I loved it. Spectacular job.

Reviewer: Grace (Laurel)Date: 2005-08-19
Reviewid: 130366Chapter: 12
Oi! This was absolutely fabulous and in character and perfect. It didn't seem strange or out of place- it just fit in perfectly with everything. Well done. I especially liked your characterization of the Marauders. Eee!

Reviewer: auditDate: 2005-08-17
Reviewid: 130185Chapter: 12
OMG?!?!?!!?.......i really, really love this story, plz keep writing, i keep checking it almost every day for a update!!

Reviewer: HinaDate: 2005-08-17
Reviewid: 130161Chapter: 12
This was absolutely amazing! I am at a loss of words. And I have loads of questions to ask you! Can you please email me so I can email you back with some of them? Thanks so much for the wonderful entertainment.

Reviewer: shaolaDate: 2005-08-06
Reviewid: 129080Chapter: 12
ok, read to the end- it's great:-) oh well, James proposing *shakes head and grins stupidly* thanks a lot for writng the story!

Reviewer: shaolaDate: 2005-08-05
Reviewid: 128992Chapter: 4
oh, great story! I like all the characterization and how you're writing the story really lively(?)! I think I`m reading for two hours now and if my eyes weren'T drifitng shut wouldn't have any intention to stop:-)
I like a lot about the story-as I said;-) -however I was really impressed how you portraied Sirius' family: no physical abuse(not violent at least) but all the same creepy without end-the beheading of Kreachers mum, my god...
Well, same goes for the James/Lily relationship, it's very believeable and you manage to get across how serious his feeling for her are (the pub-szene- priceless! :-)
And I love your dialogues- just from my had, the last pointless conversation about unspeakables *rofl*
keep up writing, you've got lots of talent!

Reviewer: BooshkaDate: 2005-08-04
Reviewid: 128783Chapter: 12
Seriously cool stuff~ keep updating!
My siblings wanted to use the computer so I had to print out the whole fan fic~ the librarian at school got so mad at me... but it was worth it. I've re-read it so many times and make all my HP fanatic friends read it too. L&J fics are the best!

Reviewer: IzzyDate: 2005-07-31
Reviewid: 128374Chapter: 12
Thanks for writing this :) I haunted the Sugar Quill waiting for updates. I really enjoyed the depth you gave to the characters. It's hard to find that in fan fiction, particularly among the Harry set sometimes. I hope you write more!

Reviewer: GreenMeansGoDate: 2005-07-31
Reviewid: 128331Chapter: 12
Wonderful story. I've been following it for some time now but I don't think I've ever reviewed. I'm sad to see that the story is ending but it was excellently written. Thank you.

Reviewer: Pineapple QueenDate: 2005-07-29
Reviewid: 128157Chapter: 12
That was the most perfect proposal that I've ever read in my life. *loffs* James' "That's-er-good, then" is priceless. =)

Reviewer: 007KiraraDate: 2005-07-20
Reviewid: 127519Chapter: 1
Very nice. I like how you started with the 5th year incident and then continued. I'm working on my own Marauder fic and I just love working with the Marauders. They're a blast to play. It's interesting how you have them all so close, even Remus closer to Sirius at points.

Reviewer: emilyDate: 2005-07-19
Reviewid: 127401Chapter: 12
AHHHHHH!!! I LOVED THIS CHAPTER! It was my all time favorite. Geeze, made me giddy with happiness. Write some more asap, loved it so much!

Reviewer: SejalDate: 2005-07-17
Reviewid: 127338Chapter: 12
OMG THAT WAS SOOOO COOL!!! i can imagine the ending relli well nd mee likes it. keep going. i'd love to see how u write the next chapter. i put my bet on awesomeness!!!

Reviewer: TraceyDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127255Chapter: 12
Well...I was very happy to see an update, and you didn't disappoint.

He he...they're getting married...never knew that was coming ;)

Reviewer: LizbingDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127250Chapter: 12
Really wonderful, I love how you cast James and Lily and their romance. I'm also really fond of your illustration of the marauders, this is just the kind of thing I need to get through the last 12 hours before HBP!

Reviewer: BrittneyDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127248Chapter: 12
Whee! I love it! It's took me so long to review because I'm very restless right now, but, hooray! I loved that chapter. Such a perfect mixture of romance and action, and *sigh*. I love the ending the most. It was a very cute and in-character proposal. I can't believe it's over! I hope you plan on writing more! :)

Love,
Britt

Reviewer: CendrillonDate: 2005-07-15
Reviewid: 127205Chapter: 12
Ah, now that was good. Actually that was great. I loved it all. It had everything - love, humor, action, adventure, danger - everything that creates great storytelling. And all of the characters acted just right. This story is definitely going down as one of my all time favorites. It's the most natural Lily and James and Marauder generation fics I've ever read. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Reviewer: St. MargaretsDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127167Chapter: 12
Congratulations for finishing this! You have created a breath-taking conclusion - not just for the clever use of canon or the action - but for the heart of it all - the emotional tone. You have James and Lily just right - from their fight to their "first time" to the proposal. Love it - such beautiful fluff highlighted by some true agony.

Wonderful, wonderful. You must feel like a million now that your story is finally out. Happy reading this weekend. I think we are going to hear about James and Lily in this book - and I'll bet your vision of their love is very close to what JKR will show us!

Reviewer: BadWolf (a Doctor Who and Potter Fan from theUK)Date: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127145Chapter: 1
I 4got 2 write diz b4 but i fink dis story iz great but i do think you should of written their nicknames on the letter to Lupin. But ur story waz still COOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!=)

Reviewer: BadWolf (a Doctor Who and Harry Potter Fan from thDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127143Chapter: 1
Wouldn't the Maruaders call themselves by their nicknames(ie:James Potter:Prongs,Sirius Black:Padfoot,Remus Lupin:Moony,Peter Pettigrew(Scabbers):Wormtail.) =)

Reviewer: SejalDate: 2005-07-11
Reviewid: 126784Chapter: 11
haha ajax...you've done it again...keep goin...im rooting for u kiddd...

Reviewer: EmelyeDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126379Chapter: 8
Hey! Just wanted to quickly say that this passage: "Being a Head Boy, James found out quickly, was not as great as he had thought. It was nice to be addressed as almost an equal by the teachers, and he enjoyed being looked at with awe by the younger students, but his duties were a bit tedious, not to mention time-consuming. As he also had Quidditch practices and his studies, he found that he had almost no free time left."

That passage sounds like JK Rowling's spirit was speaking through you! Eerily similar to so many paragraphs we've read about Harry doing something or other.

P.S. Niiiice kiss. ;)

Reviewer: HikariDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126364Chapter: 11
I think this is honestly the most convincing telling of James and Lily's relationship I've seen. :D I like it very much, and I hope it's not finished.

Reviewer: KristineDate: 2005-07-07
Reviewid: 126345Chapter: 11
I've been reading your story for a few days now and just love it. I like your take on James and Lily. They are very different from the stories I've written about them. Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: EmelyeDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126233Chapter: 5
Hey! I've just spent an hour and a half going through these first five chapters. As it's 4:30 am, I figure it's time for bed. Just wanted to drop a note and let you know that I'm enjoying the story immensely so far. Your writing of Regulus has made me think quite a bit about the potential complexity of his character. Also, I love the way you wrote this particular chapter. "You'll be a good dog?" .... Well *I* thought it was quite a good joke, anyway. :)

Reviewer: MeggsDate: 2005-07-06
Reviewid: 126214Chapter: 11
i read the entire thing in one day - must say i like it. you have an interesting approach. will continue to look for upcoming chapters!
~Meggs

Reviewer: Sinopa2Date: 2005-07-04
Reviewid: 126002Chapter: 11
Wow - I read all of this in one night - it was fantastic (keep writing, I want more!). I've read a few other prologue fanfics, but this one's the first that's really done it for me. I was never bored, and there's nothing to roll eyes at - all very tight, believable, and so emotionally sound! I love most of all the friendship between Sirius and James. Keep up the good work! (And soon, please, if you could!)

Reviewer: ellaDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125964Chapter: 11
Finally. Wow.

YAY YAYYYY YOU UPDATED IT!

Anyway, as usual, this is brilliant. :D

Reviewer: After the RainDate: 2005-07-03
Reviewid: 125938Chapter: 11
Ooh, I like Severus' "job interview" -- chilling and quite plausible, and I can easily see him getting drunk on the promise of power. And Lily and James are adorable :)

Reviewer: AccentDate: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125927Chapter: 11
Simply wonderful...perfect!Funny,creative,well-written!keep up the good work and keep writing this story..it is gold!

Reviewer: Kristin from SwedenDate: 2005-07-02
Reviewid: 125887Chapter: 11
This is an awsome story, and I love it...
Write moore soon, please!

Reviewer: b.Date: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125840Chapter: 11
This is a delightful story! I love how you subtly encorperate details from the books (like Snape and the flies!), and stay true to the cannon characters. I sincerely hope you'll keep this story up. Excellent writing!

Reviewer: TraceyDate: 2005-07-01
Reviewid: 125827Chapter: 11
A BEATLES FAN!!!

Bless you. Bless you.

Would you believe I've been listening to Paul McCartney's Ram all afternoon? And earlier, it was Let It Be...Naked.

I love your story. I'm so glad you updated. It's been awhile. :D

Reviewer: ChristianaDate: 2005-05-26
Reviewid: 122723Chapter: 10
Well, I'm glad you don't plan on abandoning this! You've done a fabulous job of explaining the occurrences we know of but don't exactly have the details to.
Keep up the good work, when you can! I've just started college and I know it can be hectic. I truly enjoyed reading this!

Reviewer: AshleyDate: 2005-05-22
Reviewid: 122582Chapter: 10
This is probably the BEST fic that i have read on any fanfic site. please please please continue the story. i will be waiting with bated breath!!!

Reviewer: asilverstarDate: 2005-03-06
Reviewid: 115703Chapter: 8
Wow. That was wonderful. It's got just the right mix of adventure, romance, friendship blended into the story. The development of Lily and James's relationship is very natural and believable, and the fic is well-woven into the details revealed in OotP. The breakdown of the relationship between the Black brothers is heart wrenching, but the blood brothers thing between James and Sirius is a very, very nice touch.

You're a really good writer, and I hope that you will complete this brilliant piece of fiction; I've seen too many good fanfics that are uncompleted, and this is too good to not have an end to it!

Reviewer: KayorumDate: 2005-02-28
Reviewid: 115127Chapter: 10
LUV IT!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: ttaDate: 2005-02-05
Reviewid: 113029Chapter: 10
This fic is brilliant! It's been probably a year since I read such a good fic that has all the right elements: humor, romance, adventure, drama and above all - a solid and believable plot! Thank you!!! You reminded why I love L/J fan fiction so much.
Please continue on writing, I can't wait for the next chapter!

Reviewer: lyddaDate: 2005-01-23
Reviewid: 111843Chapter: 10
omg... is that the end??? u HAVE to finish it sometime

Reviewer: rondaDate: 2005-01-20
Reviewid: 111540Chapter: 10
Great characterization in this story. This is one of the better J/L fics out there. Is there any chance you were going to finish it? I hope so because it would be ashame for such a good fic to go unfinished. Please update soon.

Reviewer: somebodytoldmeDate: 2005-01-09
Reviewid: 110356Chapter: 1
please update soon! i check this story for updates almost everyday! its my favorite fan fiction!!

Reviewer: KikeiDate: 2004-12-31
Reviewid: 109365Chapter: 10
AIE. I'm so sorry. I was supposed to review, what, months ago? *smacks self* Anyway.

What I think struck me the most about this chapter was the prejudice within the wizarding world at this point. It ties in neatly with the fact that Voldemort is really rising at this moment in time and the way muggle-borns, even if they are the top students at Hogwarts, are still looked down upon. I really felt horrible for Lily at this point. I also found that the scene reminded me of Harry's career advice as in OotP... I think maybe it was the expression on McGonagall's face (in my head, at least) and just the whole situation. I half-expeced McGonagall to jump and start yelling at Grant!

I also loved the way you made James explain what was going on between the Marauders to Lily. The reactions in that scene were so well done, I could really see it all, and I think I even felt Lily's horror when she realised what happened to Remus every month. It gave a real insight into James and Lily there, not just as characters, but it bridged the gap between the world of fiction and the real world because while we don't have such situations, the feelings are those which we experience, for a myriad of other reasons.

The last bit that goes into Malfoy and Snape... whoo! I like Snape's sense of pride, as well as the slightly bookish tone you've given hm. Yes, he's eager to impress, but the little quirks in his character are splendid in again bringing him to life. Malfoy amused me, for some reason. I think it was the rich snobbery, and also the foreknowledge of what eventually happens... but it's also made me feel a little wary of him. Recruitment has never been like this, ha!

-Kiks

Reviewer: avaliDate: 2004-12-25
Reviewid: 108606Chapter: 3
This is an awesome story! I found it recced on FictionAlley, and had to come read it. I love your characterizations, James and Sirius seem so canon, it may as well be! I like that Peter isn't picked on and disliked, he actually seems like a person, which is so refreshing. The Potters are an interesting family, I really like Evelyn and Alistair. Sirius's family life and escape are just as I imagined, this whole story is wonderful. I can't wait to continue reading. Great job!

Reviewer: sejalDate: 2004-11-29
Reviewid: 106326Chapter: 10
hey M. good story

Reviewer: aka bakaDate: 2004-11-15
Reviewid: 104888Chapter: 10
i LOOOOOOVE your fic!!! but i've been waiting for AGES for the next chapter. Hurry!

Reviewer: HelenDate: 2004-11-06
Reviewid: 103584Chapter: 10
Fantastic!!! I ADORE your writing and look forward to your next chapter, no matter how far from now it will be posted. I thought that the way James revealed his secret was very tactful and in-character. Nice touch with the whole marriage conversation too. :) And I must compliment you on your portrayal of Lucius. It was exactly as I imagine it would have been: smooth, cold, and haughty. A scrumtrulescent chapter over all. I have no criticism for it! Good luck with your classes! Your follower in Harry Potter Fic Fandom- Helen

Reviewer: MargretDate: 2004-10-30
Reviewid: 102981Chapter: 10
The story is well written. I hope to read the following chapters soon.

Reviewer: MoonyDate: 2004-10-29
Reviewid: 102836Chapter: 10
i really love your story! me and my friends have really, really, really enjoyed reading them. we think your writing is almost as good as J.K. Rowling's, and we really can't wait to read the next chapters. could you please post them soon?

Reviewer: XiaoXiaoDate: 2004-10-26
Reviewid: 102496Chapter: 10
Loved telling Lily about being Animagi. Her reaction to his offer of money seemed very in character, from the little bit we know in canon. Interesting beginning to Snape's recruitment.

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102229Chapter: 10
This is a great story. I'm really enjoying it. Good luck with everything and getting all your stuff done. I will wait patiently for the next chapter :D.

*Geena

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102222Chapter: 8
Awwww! That's so cute! One thing....I thought James was the seeker? Any way, great job!

*Geena

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102212Chapter: 4
I'm glad that's the only thing James hexed Snape with. You know, James could be a bit nicer when it comes to certain people. I think insulting one's parents as a way to get back at one is a bit below the belt, uncalled for. But than again, boys will be boys, lol. Nice work.

*Geena

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102211Chapter: 3
That's so cool how James did that. I think it's really sweet of him. Anyway, on to chapter 4!

*Geena

Reviewer: ellaDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102208Chapter: 1
I lovelovelove this. Ajax did a great job writing this. I couldn't stop reading it-- it looks like it was actually a part of JKR's HP series, because it doesn't look like a fanfic at all. Well-researched, well-written, well-thought of. One of the greatest missing moments fic I've ever read. (This made me love Sirius Black more)

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102196Chapter: 2
I'm so glad that Sirius ran away. So it's true that muggles burnt (who they thought were) witches and the like, but that's because of fear. The Black's feared the muggles contaminating them and such. Stupid purebloods who think they're better than everone! Nice work. I really like it.

*Geena

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102195Chapter: 1
I love how Remus knows just what to say and how he always remembers the right things. I love Moony!

*Geena

Reviewer: JessieDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102189Chapter: 10
I WANT THE REST!!!! I've loved this story so far and i want more!!!

Reviewer: SophieDate: 2004-10-22
Reviewid: 102131Chapter: 10
Incredible! Splendid! I couldn't stop reading this - my eyes are aching horribly. But it was certainly worth it. You've had me laughing, crying, i-don't-know-what-ing with this story... So many emotions, and such well-thought out plot twists! You took everything that Rowling gave us and transformed it into something realistic, and funny, and enjoyable. Congratulations on the bits of humorous dialogue and briticisms here and there, they add light touches that can't be missed. And the romance is so believable... As well as the POV's, that are so varied and engrossing. I prefer Sirius' POV for some reason, maybe because I like him best. But it's just incredible the way you took Peter and turned him into a real person. And you add colour to Snape's life that I didn't think was even there. I usually have a bad thing or two to say about a story, but yours is flawless.. I thought you would be recurring to hollywood when Lily's parents died, but it wasn't like that at all. I'll be anxiously awaiting your update, congrats on the great work! ps. Your name sounds very dutch (football) as do your beta's. Might we share the same nationality? If so, I'm very proud.. hehe

Reviewer: jolene_xxDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102088Chapter: 5
This has been great so far, i think you've done really well to show how much the marauders care for each other. Just one thing though, you use a lot of pronouns and sometimes that gets confusing because i have to work out who you're refering to. I think it would be better to use the characters' names more often. Nothing serious though, I will definetly be reading the rest of this tomorrow!

Reviewer: Poppy PDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102056Chapter: 1
'"Pink frilly tablecloths. And little angels around the sugar bowls. It was quite revolting."

They both stayed silent for a while, contemplating the horror.'

LOL! I loved that! So typical of teenage boys (and men in general). I really enjoyed your brooding James. He's so clueless. I also like the fact that Remus is having an attack of conscience. Frankly, all the boys should. Poor Snape! I'm definately looking forward to reading more...

Reviewer: After the RainDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102042Chapter: 10
Yay, new update! Loved the little scene between James and Remus (especially the "Just don't tell her about the passionate foursome sex, or she might have a heart attack" line) and the bit where he tells Lily about the whole Animagus / werewolf thing. Such a sweet little scene. (Too bad he had to ruin it by being an arrogant privileged brat, but such is life.)

Reviewer: NadineDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102036Chapter: 10
Oh my gosh. Did James seriously propose!?!? He sure seemed upset afterwards. Man o man. This chapter was awesome! Make sure you update sooner than last time...that just about killed me! I love your story...update soon!!!

Reviewer: EmilyDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 102009Chapter: 10
Awesome! I'm glad you updated, I just clicked this story a week ago to see if it had been updated. I love it! Post some more as soon as you can!

Reviewer: OhbeteresaDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 102008Chapter: 7
I've only recently discovered your story and am slowly making my way through it. I am savoring it because it's the best Lily/James fic I've read (and I haven't read many because the quality is rarely this good). It's chapters 6 & 7 specifically that spurred me to write because I found your version of the thawing of their relationship to be the most genuine, least contrived, and most believable I can imagine. Your characterization of Lily is wonderful as a strong, clever, sensitive, yet sensible girl. Also, your James is a great balance of arrogant, clever, and sensitive, vulnerable young man. I also appreciate your perspective on the Muggle-born / pureblood issue; you've handled it in a Rowlingesque fashion, in my opinion.

Thanks for sharing this with us; I look forward to continuing on!

Reviewer: St. MargaretsDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101974Chapter: 10
I liked how stupidly sweet James was in this chapter. Bringing up marriage as a solution to employment woes! The setting and circumstances for this discussion were also interesting. The stakes were certainly high for all of them at a young age.

I also like that the maternal picture of Lily isn't fully realized in teenaged Lily. That is very realistic.

The future is also beckoning to Snape - and it is a chilling path he is choosing to take.

Another interesting chapter!

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101964Chapter: 10
I love the way you portray Snape. I also love the interaction between Lily and James. Very good chapter.

Reviewer: Private MaladictDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101958Chapter: 10
Hello! Saw you advertising the new chapter - it's been quite a wait! Though I understand, mind you. I'm in uni myself, and it's SO HARD to get enough time to write! Ahh, if only I didn't have to sleep...

Anyway - as always, the chapter is great. I like the way James pulled off telling Lily, and I LOVE his spontaneous "proposal". This boy means business! I was also quite amused to see Lily's rant about the awfulness on motherhood.

Also, Lily's trouble with deciding what to do after school is something that I find all too familiar and very believable. In fact, all of this story has been wonderful in the way you've protrayed your characters as real 15-17-year-olds, with real problems, beliefs and emotions. Too many fanfics focus exclusively on ships, or worse, sex.

Anyway, I hope the next chapter won't be too far off... Keep writing!

Reviewer: TraceyDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101899Chapter: 10
Oh....it's so good to have an update! Nice little set-up there with Lucius and Severus at the end.

In case I haven't raved on before about it, I love the way you have Lily and James interact. For lack of a better term, it's so 'real.' Their personalities and experiences really seem to play into how they act and what they say. Nice job!

Greatly looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: littlepoohDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101870Chapter: 10
Finally.. I was getting worried this fic had been abandonded. Well done as usual. James telling Lily about Remus/Animagus was very well done. It can be so cliche if not done right but I love that you first had Lily think it was James "You're all brilliant and mad." Love that quote.

I also glad you brought up Lily's money situaation. i see this as being more played out when they leave school ( if you continue to write this when their out of school) James was typically male and not at all helpful."He couldn't help being a rich brat, even if he was just a bit arrogant, still." LOL

Still one of the best L/J stories around. I'll patiently ait for the next chapter. The last year of college is the hardest... take your time :)

Reviewer: Pineapple QueenDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101844Chapter: 10
Great new chapter, as usual. I love how you follow Snape's doings with a bit about him at the end of the chapter. And I like how you did James telling Lily about being an Animagus: I'm always amazed by their conversations...they're so realistic.

-PQ

Reviewer: FernandaDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101791Chapter: 10
I've been reading your fic for quite some time now, but I've never sent you a comment. And I really should have so that I could tell you how much I'm loving it. In this tenth chapter, particularly at the foursome sex part I laugh so hard I almost fell off my chair! I'm gald that despite all the college work you won't stop writing. I would just die with the curiosity!

Reviewer: JossDate: 2004-08-10
Reviewid: 96581Chapter: 9
This is a great story, I hope you keep writing it :) I love fictions about the pre-Harry days. I'm off to see if you have any other fics I'd like to read. Keep up the great work!

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-08
Reviewid: 96317Chapter: 9
This was a very good chapter! I like it when you bring in Snape a bit more into your story, and it works well to change perspectives between Marauders, Lily and Snape.

The scene between Sirius and his brother was interesting; I liked the fact that Regulus made a bit of an effort, but just couldn't overbridge the differences between them.

You seem to write differently for Snape, in a way that makes it less easy to read. I don't know what it is; perhaps it's the large chunks of text. I also thought you repeated the word 'Severus' unnecessarily much, but that could just be my own preference.

Since I'm not an avid James/Lily shipper, I appreciate your little secondary plots of Sirius and Snape, and I hope you will continue with them. A suggestion, if you ever plan to re-edit the story, would be to bring in a bit of Snape perhaps at the beginning of chapter 8, since chapters 7 and 8 were very focused on James and Lily. This would make the insert of the large part with Snape in this chapter seem more natural.

You write really well, and I enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work!

~Perhenwen

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96198Chapter: 8
(This is a review of both chapters 7 and 8.)

You're continuing the romance so nicely, and the way James cared for Lily when her parents died was heartwarming. And the kiss was very, very sweet.

By the way, I thought James was a Seeker.

Sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush, and I have to finish this off now and return another time to your chapter nine! Looking forward to it!

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96190Chapter: 6
Oooh, what a sweet chapter. Your portrayal of Lily is excellent, and you've started off the romance very nicely. I'm amazed by the way you change perspectives between James and Lily - it's completely seamless!

Flitwick and cooking? Now I've seen it all...

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96185Chapter: 5
A nice little chapter that flows well. It was interesting to read your version of the Whomping Willow scene, with a placid werewolf playing with Peter the rat. It wasn't really what I expected, but it was cute.

I reacted to the fact that you didn't mention the mirrors at first, during Sirius' first reaction to McGonagall putting him separate from James. Since they do communicate later, it seems odd he wouldn't comfort himself with that fact that they could from the start.

Also, I thought the Snape scenes a bit odd: it didn't seem like Snape at all, he's descibed in the book as walking around in a twitchy manner with rounded shoulders, and that seems to contradict his for instance leaning soberly against a wall and twirling a wand, and then striding away.

Anyway, despite those parts, I really enjoyed reading the chapter. Your writing really is very good!

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96177Chapter: 4
Fancy James being so spoilt by his parents! I've never thought about that aspect of his childhood before, but I think you're probably very right. And now I feel even more sorry for poor Snape: no money and James being awfully cruel to him about it!

I liked your little characterisation of Lily, and how she gets on with Remus.

Moving on...

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96174Chapter: 3
A nice little bonding chapter, here. I liked the mixing of blood, and Andromeda's letter was particularly charming.

"So the baby's called Nymphadora Tonks?" James paused. "Sounds like a plumbing accident."

- very funny!

Otherwise, not much happened, and I thought the chapter felt a bit slow compared to the last chapter. Your writing is still very good, though, and all in all it was a nice read.

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96171Chapter: 2
This was a very good chapter, and you've described the Black household very well. Regulus, in particular, is fascinating: he's nice to his brother and keeps quiet about any objections ha has, but meanwhile still supports Mr and Mrs Black in their decisions and opinions. It all fits in very well with him later joining the Death Eaters, and regretting it.

The scene with Snape meeting his mother was a bit heartbreaking, I thought. But then I'm quite fond of Snape.

(I'm from the Fic Exchange, by the way, forgot to tell you in the first review)

On to the next chapter!

Reviewer: PerhenwenDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96168Chapter: 1
This is actually the first ever James/Lily fic I've read, but I like it! You've captured the characters well, and I especially liked your portrayal of Remus. The twist that Lily must have been watching James while he was playing with the snitch was nice.

Your writing flows well, and is easy to read, and you've brought in so much canon one feels right at home. The Slytherin-Gryffindor incident was particularly Rowlingesque, and you've expanded on her story seamlessly. Well done!

On to the next chapter...

Reviewer: teawithvoldyDate: 2004-07-31
Reviewid: 94901Chapter: 5
Another wonderful chapter. Lovely style and characterisations, andI think you handle Peter very well.

[b]Sir Walsingham's Nimble Ended Hopcakes.[/b] Lol, a great inclusion of humor.


I liked how Sirius ended up telling Snape about the whomping willow and the subsequent of James

rescue of the Snape, however I always thought Sirius did say so a little bit more viciousness, more cunningness to get Snape into a bad situation. I thought Sirius did it with full knowledge of what would happen, and probably thought Snape would go in the first place.

But a wonderful chapter.

Reviewer: KikeiDate: 2004-07-29
Reviewid: 94597Chapter: 9
Sorry, sorry, sorry this took so long! Heh, I wasn't able to get around to reading this chapter before today, so... anyway.
So far, your characterizations are what really get me. I love James worrying about Lily, and the way you told it from her POV so that the reader wouldn't cotton on either until she guessed. Rather clever, but very in character for the both of them. Sirius getting the flat was excellent... maybe I have a few quibbles over Regulus's character at this point but nothing so life-threatening, I just see him differently, but that doesn't mean that your Regulus wasn't believable. And Snape's home life was actually a bit painful to read even if it's not anything we don't already know... I think that bit was the high point of this whole chapter, actually, with Snape's observations on Regulus and Bellatrix being particularly poignant... oosh, I can just see Bella using the Imperius curse to get Rodolphus where she wanted him.

And heh, Lily taking James to watch Star Wars was just too cute, especially because of him pretending to know what was going on in the movie when he has no clue whatsoever.

Great writing here, as always.

-Kiks

Reviewer: ynoomDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94384Chapter: 9
Wow, ok so now i'm like sooooooo waiting to see what sevvy does to his dad when he tries to hurt his mom next...yay!! Ok, so i'm waiting on the edge of my seat with bated breath and i'm in love with this story, someone told me to go here for a lily/james fic and i got so so so so much more and i'm going insane trying to think what's gonna happen next! Out of all the fics i've read this is the best one that entangles snape in lily and james' lives and i really hope you do keep going!! Best wishes

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-07-24
Reviewid: 93821Chapter: 9
I've developed a sudden fondness for J/L today and just had to read this completely. Wonderful.

Reviewer: NokomisDate: 2004-07-22
Reviewid: 93642Chapter: 9
This is definitely an excellent story! I don't normally read MWPP fics, and so I decided to read yours for the Unexpected Task and I'm quite glad I did.
I really enjoy the natural progression of Lily and James's relationship. It would be all to easy to let the tragedy their ultimate fate overshadow that they were just a normal couple, and I was happy to see that you've made them normal kids.
I thought that the house-elf beheading scene in one of the earlier chapters was an amazingly written scene. I adored it, and as well as your characterization of Regulus. Like everyone else, he's not born evil or tragic or the like. He's a person who will make bad choices, as you've shown in the later chapters with him wanting to work for Malfoy. I also really liked Bellatrix and Severus in this chapter, they had excellent characterizations.
Loved Lily taking James to Star Wars, and then his reactions to it, as well as Sirius buying the first house he sees. Sirius is too cute here, wanting his motorcycle.
All in all, this is a wonderful story that deserves its Niffle. Keep up the excellent work!

Reviewer: BrittneyDate: 2004-07-21
Reviewid: 93372Chapter: 9
I compltely forgot about the parents yelling in OotP. I like the way you've written it, though. Makes me sympathize Snape a bit more. Only a bit more, mind.
I absolutely LOVE this story. I think it's one of the most perfect MWPP period fics I've ever read. Though, given, I haven't read many. I need to read more. This fic has converted me into a fan of Marauders fics, and leaving me in belief that they CAN be portrayed canonically and correctly! Especially Peter. If there's one thing I hate in the fandom, it's Peter being kicked aside by the other three. I doubt he'd have stayed friends with them if they had done that, don't you think?
I canNOT wait until the next chapter. PLEASE update soon. Thank you for a wonderful fic. And thanks to the Niffler who showed me to it.

Love ya! Brittney

Reviewer: Pandora CulpaDate: 2004-07-21
Reviewid: 93364Chapter: 1
Hello, from the Reverse Fic Exchange on FA! Dreadfully sorry that it has taken me so long to get over and review, but I'm sure glad that I did! This has the makings of I great story.

First of all, the way that you have set this chapter up shows that you have really seen some interesting hopes left in JKR's story. What Remus mentioned to James... that was astute. Really. It does indeed put an entirely new spin on things. It's the little things like that that indicate that you've got some interesting developments ahead. Not only that, you have some brilliant characterizations at work. The banter and teasing is all perfect, as is the fact that you remember their ages in writing how they respond to things...I've seen too many fics were the Marauders act more like thirtysomethings than teens. And Remus was perfect; I loved how he sat down and went through his trunk, remembering the reasons behind his loyalty to his friends, seemingly as a way to salve his conscience. Lovely.

Honestly, I can find nothing in this to critique, and only want to say Bravo! I love this, I'm excited about the possibilities you've created with this scenario, and I'll certainly be continuing onward to review more. Great job, and I can see why this received a Niffle!

Reviewer: BobbiDate: 2004-07-17
Reviewid: 92787Chapter: 4
I like the way you incorporated Tonks into it. I always think it's interesting when you see OotP-related tidbits slotted into a fic because everyone's still interepreting it all differently. Do we know how much younger than Sirius etc. she was? I don't remember if it's mentioned in OotP.
A relatively uneventful chapter, but enjoyable all the same. Still, I think James's restraint when hexing Severus was important. It was -- trying to think of a word here -- not *sweet*, but it's interesting that he's keeping Lily so much at the forefront of his mind, even when she's not around to see it (and I can't see Snape running and telling her). Sounds like he's beginning to realise that girls (especially that girl!) aren't impressed by that sort of thing. Hoping he won't have to suffer any more *too* painful knock-backs in the future! He's a bit of an idiot, but he's a nice boy, really.
Overall it was quite a feelgood chapter; it was nice to see it end on a high note. Looking at the chapter titles of the next few it doesn't look so cheery!

Bobbi
PS. I'm going to be a few days without net access but I'll review the rest as soon as it's back, probably around Monday. I don't know how much I'm *supposed* to review but I'm enjoying it so I'll do it all!

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