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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 20
| Reviewer: sweetie | Date: 2004-06-25 |
| Reviewid: 88861 | Chapter: 2 |
awww! they're so cute when they're little! the emotions were excellent and the characters were perfect. very enjoyable read!
luv sweetie |
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| Reviewer: Ally | Date: 2004-02-21 |
| Reviewid: 71752 | Chapter: 2 |
Ahhh... this is lovely, and so sad. I can really identify with your Hermione (whose characterization is spot-on, by the way). You write ten year olds (and first person) really well!
Keep up the excellent writing!
luv Ally |
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| Reviewer: Lizzielu | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70912 | Chapter: 2 |
Awww, this was brilliant! You've really captured childhood dreams of being accepted in this last chapter, so much so that it made me cry and remember thinking about the same exact things when I was younger. Ron's thoughts were perfect and really captured what he sees in the Mirror of Erised. Your writing flows very well and as I said before, you really captured the thoughts of a ten year old. You also really painted a scene, I could picture both Ron and Hermione thinking outside and looking at the stars.
Great job, this was so adorable!
Lizzielu |
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| Reviewer: *LuNa* | Date: 2004-02-13 |
| Reviewid: 70517 | Chapter: 2 |
Your Hermione sound like me! I'm always into books and I have stupid childish fanicies! Your Hermione sounds so much like me I think she could be my twin! Great job made me cry! Write more!
*LoOnY* |
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| Reviewer: Linnet | Date: 2004-02-05 |
| Reviewid: 69552 | Chapter: 2 |
I read this story before, but didn't review it, I think. This was so touching... especially the Hermione one, I think. Perfect characterization-- you've got Hermione and Ron's personalities dead on. Lovely!
- Linnet |
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| Reviewer: Amy | Date: 2004-02-04 |
| Reviewid: 69461 | Chapter: 2 |
| A lot of fics have been like this, but somehow, not as beautiful as yours. Hermione and Ron are both like they are now, but in a much more realistic way. You also wrote ten year olds wonderfully. You should do someone else, I would definitely enjoy reading it. |
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| Reviewer: Don | Date: 2004-02-04 |
| Reviewid: 69456 | Chapter: 2 |
Beautiful. Beautiful words and images. I could tell it was Hermione because of the big words and lofty ideals. I do think that she must have felt like this. And being sad on the inside might make the aggressive girl we see in the first book.
I like this part:
>>But it’s not enough. I want the words the great philosophers of Greece can’t say. I want the building Alexandre-Gustave Eiffel can’t design. I want the wave the Mediterranean can’t create. I want the mountain the snow can’t cover. I want the luscious, green field the Earth doesn’t possess. I want the wish no fountain can grant. I want the wall one hundred million men can’t break.<<
Grand. |
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| Reviewer: Linda | Date: 2004-02-04 |
| Reviewid: 69440 | Chapter: 2 |
| Very nicely done! You did a good job with the different tones for each part, especially with the first person perspective. I prefer Hermione's story, but both are good. ANy chance of doing a Harry POV? |
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| Reviewer: Lovelocks | Date: 2004-01-13 |
| Reviewid: 66930 | Chapter: 1 |
| Woow!! PLEASE UPDATE as this story is quite lovely!!! I read it to my friend, and she enjoyed it oh so much--and youruse of first person is admirealbe--but i love to write in an aleternation of that and third person as that is much easier!!! PLEASE UPDATE |
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| Reviewer: Delleve | Date: 2004-01-11 |
| Reviewid: 66547 | Chapter: 1 |
| This was wonderful and so full of emotion. You put so much strength and feeling into this, it's remarkable. I'm very much looking forward to the next and last part. |
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| Reviewer: kayjal | Date: 2004-01-10 |
| Reviewid: 66415 | Chapter: 1 |
| so sweeet. but how can ron hate his looks. i guess he just doesnt know how cute he is eh ? sounds like you got him pretty well..hate my life.. hate my belongings.. im second best the whole Ron-is-not-good-enough-syndrome that he seems to have. well done. |
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| Reviewer: Sundance | Date: 2004-01-09 |
| Reviewid: 66356 | Chapter: 1 |
| I love this! It's so Ron! You've captured 10-year-old Ron brilliantly, and he doesn't come off as selfish or angst-ridden, just lonely, sad and, well, Ron-ish :) Well done!!! |
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| Reviewer: Shan | Date: 2004-01-09 |
| Reviewid: 66339 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow...it sounds kind of...sad...I think. But it can really catch the readers' feelings! Can't wait for the next few chapters!! |
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| Reviewer: Pisces Sum | Date: 2004-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 66260 | Chapter: 1 |
| I am very impressed at how this was written. Those last lines were very moving, "My dreams will never come true. I left them behind me, at the top of that hill." You got Ron's character right on the nail, that takes skill. I can't wait to see who the other character is. Excellent job. |
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| Reviewer: line | Date: 2004-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 66258 | Chapter: 1 |
Hi Olivia Frost!
wow, I loved the story... poor Ron though...
I can't wait to read the second part of the story :D
I hope I can read it soon.
keep writing,
~~Line |
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| Reviewer: Don | Date: 2004-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 66169 | Chapter: 1 |
Nice piece of work. I like the contemplative pace. It sort of sets the mood the right way! And easy to see how a ten year old (or anyone!) could feel like that.
I also like the way you make Ron very earnest and believing/gullible. That's a nice character trait.
I like this bit:
>>it is invisible to their eyes.
That’s like a lot of things in my life, really.<<
Looking forward to the next piece. |
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| Reviewer: Myself | Date: 2004-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 66154 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was great! I luv Ron! I like how it sounded just how he is. It's so sad. He has a low self-asteem. But that's okay, cuz ur a good writer!!! I can't wait for part two! |
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| Reviewer: Serena | Date: 2004-01-08 |
| Reviewid: 66145 | Chapter: 1 |
| I really enjoyed this story on Checkmated, and I still really love it here. It is a beautiful story. ~Serena |
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