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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: On Angel's Wings
Review(s): 17

Reviewer: orangesherbertDate: 2006-09-03
Reviewid: 145153Chapter: 1
amazing,though maybe make it just a story, without the song lyrics next time.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-11-29
Reviewid: 136496Chapter: 1
A bit sad

Reviewer: SarahDate: 2005-04-25
Reviewid: 120596Chapter: 1
This is beautiful.

One of the things I liked was that you skipped over the confrontation and didn't deal directly with their death. We all know what happened, it didn't need to be elaborated upon. So good job with that.

You did a really good job of creating emotion; I never really had a lot of emotion in regards to the death of Lily and James, and you made the situation much more heartbreaking. I loved how they didn't leave the nursery. And I think you depicted the two characters quite nicely, much how I'd imagined them. Thanks for a great story. :)

Reviewer: QuietPurpleStrawberryDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111193Chapter: 1
Wow. A story full of quiet elegance. I loved it.

Reviewer: Eliza M.Date: 2004-06-06
Reviewid: 86042Chapter: 1
There's a knot in my throat and I loved every bit of this story. If the story didn't make me cry enough you A/N sure did. It was very touching, esp. that bit where Harry's sitting in the dark wondering, while playing with toy's not his own.

Reviewer: Laura HDate: 2004-04-23
Reviewid: 79871Chapter: 1
As a mom with 2 boys of my own, I can say- You got it absolutely right! I spent many nights rocking my sons to sleep telling them how much I loved them and all the wonderful things I want for their lives, namely to always be surrounded by love.

Reviewer: Hannah LeeDate: 2004-04-23
Reviewid: 79861Chapter: 1
*Sniff* That was so sad. In a good way. In a sadly good way. *sniff* I'm not making much sense, am I?

Reviewer: Loriel ErisDate: 2004-03-02
Reviewid: 72975Chapter: 1
This was absolutely beautiful. My heart was breaking as I read it, and I'm sitting here with tears running down my face. Your portrayal of James and Lily is wonderful, completely spot on. I think the bit that really got to me was the last scene, with Lily standing in front of the window, especially the bit where James looks into Lily's eyes (he can read her like a book) and he sees the terror she's feeling. Her fears that Sirius or Peter or Remus wouldn't know all the little things that her and James, as Harry's parents, knew was very well written.

I could almost feel what Lily, and James, were feeling whilst standing in front of the window.

I loved that they sat all night in the nursary.

The last scene, with Harry as a young child was the perfect ending.

**Harry wished he knew for sure how his parents loved him. But sometimes, in the middle of the night like this, when he was all alone wondering about his parents—sometimes he thought he could hear the barest whisper of a man and a woman saying, “I love you, Harry.” And then his parents didn’t seem that lost to him after all.**

And that last bit was just perfect.

I loved this story. Thank you very much.

Loriel

Reviewer: NiaDate: 2004-02-28
Reviewid: 72515Chapter: 1
you did a great job on this it was beautiful im sobbing now!

Reviewer: atroposDate: 2004-02-09
Reviewid: 69985Chapter: 1
You have handled the emotions of parenting beautifully in this piece. The tension between Lily & James' love and fear was very clear, and made for an extremely touching scene in the nursery when they were telling Harry how much they loved him. I also enjoyed the way that you painted Diagon Alley in the first scene. Your choice of words and the things that Lily notices all have a slightly ethereal touch, and I was nodding my head in agreement when she thought that it looked like a fairytale. A great job - I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

Atropos

Reviewer: BrittanyDate: 2004-02-02
Reviewid: 69288Chapter: 1
oh my, boy am I sobbing right now. *sniffles* that was beautifully written (and a wonderful choice of song too). You've portrayed Lily and James perfectly, and though I'm not a parent, I know that I would feel just the same about my own son or daughter.

lovely job :)
Britt

Reviewer: SennaDate: 2004-02-01
Reviewid: 69145Chapter: 1
beautiful, touching, and one hundred percent accurate.

:)
Senna

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-01-31
Reviewid: 69030Chapter: 1
I really like the imagery and description that you use. The language is lovely. I think it does a good job of evoking emotions. I particularly like the scene in the nursery at night. The tension between James and Lily was very realistic. Often, parenting creates a tension between duty and need. And hard to know where one's attention needs to be.

I think one technical thing that would improve this piece is to tighten the point of view. You use a third person POV that sees everything. But sometimes you are moving from something that James would notice to something that only Lily would see in the same paragraph. Technically that is possible, but it makes it harder for me to bond with either character, because I am both and, thus, neither. Let me re-phrase that. If I can see from both points of view, then, emotionally, I know that I am not either character. In a story that does such a good job with emotion, I think it would have been stronger if I was either James or Lily, but not both.

But, I really do like your style. It evokes home and warmth and love. Great work!

Reviewer: Lolly O'NeillDate: 2004-01-31
Reviewid: 69025Chapter: 1
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness! That was so amazing and incredibly emotional! It honest to goodness made me cry!! There was actual tears running down my cheeks. This has to be THE NUMBER ONE STORY I'VE EVER READ! It was amazing. You have some serious talent! This is evident because it takes quite a lot to make me cry. I loved it! Keep up the great work!!

Reviewer: HeatherKDate: 2004-01-30
Reviewid: 68903Chapter: 1
That was absolutely beautiful. It touched my heart in a way that I can't explain. You've portrayed James and Lily's love for one another beautifully, in my own little world they remind me of myself and my fiance and the things we say to each other. I can only hope that we can be as loving and wonderful to our child as you've portrayed the Potter's to be. Beautiful story.

Reviewer: dinkaDate: 2004-01-30
Reviewid: 68900Chapter: 1
That was absolutely beautiful.
I think my favorite part was when Lily was voicing her concerns about Harry, and how Sirius may not take care of him well enough... :*( ... I think you hit the nail on the head with that one--I'm not a parent, but I found that scene so realistic, that it immediately became my favorite.

Oh, and when Harry was sneaking around at night to play with toys... *sniff, sniff*... (bawling...)

Reviewer: AnnisonDate: 2004-01-30
Reviewid: 68883Chapter: 1
I'm currently bawling my eyes out. That was perhaps the most beautiful, perfect one-shot I have ever read. Wonderful job.

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