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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 5
| Reviewer: kayjal | Date: 2004-02-03 |
| Reviewid: 69317 | Chapter: 1 |
| kinda funny. snooging snape. ok.. hmm forget funny, actually that was gross, now i need clorox. thanks man. but it WAS funny until u remeber snape. EEshh |
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| Reviewer: Don | Date: 2004-01-31 |
| Reviewid: 69035 | Chapter: 1 |
Nice. I like the way you've drawn the interactions beteen the twins. Their conversations are in character. And great timing with their arrival back to the castle just in time to see Snape get pranked.
Good work! |
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| Reviewer: Lady Narcissa | Date: 2004-01-30 |
| Reviewid: 68978 | Chapter: 1 |
This seems like a nice pithy start to a story. You have strictly dialogue up front which usually keeps me from reading farther in a story, but then again these are the twins we're talking about. Although I am wondering why the castle decided to punish them in advance, and also why the Clabberts, being relatively peaceful, attacked (first I thought they'd been dumped by the Whomping Willow).
The idea behind their prank is a good one, but if I hadn't known from the start exactly what enchantment they'd done on the statue, the ending sequence would have been even more amusing. I'd love to see this story fleshed out a bit more, with a bit more internal dialogue for the twins so we get to know them better.
Again, nice start! |
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