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Review(s): 43
| Reviewer: Jo Wickaninnish | Date: 2004-07-27 |
| Reviewid: 94112 | Chapter: 1 |
Well that was... thoroughly disturbing. But I think that was what you were going for- so bravo.
"I manage the words, and try not to think on why I seem to always say Dumbledore, not Albus." How intruiging. You've really done a good job creating the complex character of Tom Riddle. It seems so appropriate to me that he would despise Dumbledore, but somewhere, way deep down, he unconciously recognizes his worth as an adversary and wizard to the point where he still grants him the tiniest bit of respect.
I don't think I've ever actually read anything about Tom Riddle before but this fic has certainly got my attention enough that I may have to look into it. Although if the other fics are half as good as yours, I'm a bit reluctant to spend that much time reading the thoughts of a madman. That was supposed to be a compliment :oP I'm not sure it actually read as one.
Anyway, you did a wonderful job and it's a great fic. |
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| Reviewer: Nik Black | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85113 | Chapter: 1 |
| Your writing is so poetic, I just love the flow of your stories and the interaction between Dumbledore and Tom was excellent look forward to more...Nik |
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| Reviewer: Tinkbele | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85111 | Chapter: 1 |
Very dark and very intriguing. I am curious to see where this is going, especially (and it could just be that I'm tired) it seems that Voldemort had this whole scene planned long ago, creating Dumbledore's downfall through the care of the boy. Quite creative, I must say.
Tink |
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| Reviewer: Lalage | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85109 | Chapter: 1 |
Lovely. After reading the Broken Victory I always wanted to see how you'd portray Voldemort as we know him, as a yet more skilled, corrupted, experienced... (Nah. adult is not the word I'm after...) _him._
Mesmerising, as your stories are wont to be.
Cheers, Lalage |
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| Reviewer: Rynne Lupin | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85108 | Chapter: 1 |
Definitely an excellent characterization of Tom Riddle/Voldemort, but coming from you, I wouldn't expect anything else :). And this was just so incredibly believable--Voldemort resents Dumbledore because, as you put it, "With the pride of a lion who never was lamed, with the ease of a man who was born as he was and never had to rebuild. I have no wish to teach him; only to make him pay for his ignorance and hindrance" Dumbledore hasn't had to rebuild his whole life the way Tom/Voldemort has, and now Voldemort doesn't want him to take away that rebuilt foundation, and will do anything to topple Dumbledore's. I like how you extended that idea by having Voldemort's possession of Harry be more a statement to Dumbledore and an attack on Dumbledore than an attack on Harry himself. You really have a talent for writing about people that most just ignore, and I really have to commend you for that.
-Rynne |
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| Reviewer: Steph | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85107 | Chapter: 1 |
Well, it seems you do have time to write after all. :p
Anyways, found it interesting that you don't see Harry as Voldemort's main source of hate, seeing how it was he who sent Voldie to his exile. In fact, he isn't remotely interested in Harry, only Dumbledore. It's Dumbledore here, and Dumbledore there. He even called him "Headmaster" once. He panics. Then he misses his target, and is to some extent bound to Dumbledore. You depict Voldie as vulnerable. This makes such a lovely contrast to JK's version where he is made a bit shallow because of Harry who can only see his little world and because fandom has made him so. Your Voldie's hate comes from a more interesting source. Mind boggling. ^.^
Oh, did you pick the title because of Dumbledore or both the song and him. Flight of the Bumblebee is most befitting for this pic. I can just imagine the song driving Voldie nuts. *laughs*
Ciao for now!
Steph :) |
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| Reviewer: Fantome | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85106 | Chapter: 1 |
Great title! I loved the way being called "Tom" disconcerts Voldemort and how he had trouble saying Dumbledore's own first name, which holds him a bit higher as an adult instead of an equal. I enjoyed his disgust at Dumbledore's external help instead of having a straight-out duel, which Voldemort may have cheated at anyway. Excellent idea that he was most resentful of Dumbledore because Dumbledore hadn't had such a bad, broken life as he had. Great job!
Fantome |
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| Reviewer: Kikei | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85105 | Chapter: 1 |
The battle in the MoM is one of the scenes where I wished I could see inside Voldemort's mind. I've imagined what I'd find there... but I like yours better ;) I really liked the way you opened the story, with the bit about stealing the coin... makes one think that even he was human once. I also thought that his using Dumbledore's name, but eventually being unable to... 'Dum- Alb- him...' was incredibly effective.
Great fic.
-Kiks |
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| Reviewer: Bryonia Alba | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85104 | Chapter: 1 |
Hi, I tried to review this a couple of days ago and it wouldn't let me, for some reason. My apologies for the delay!
I really enjoyed this story. Your characterization of Voldemort is interestingly different, yet you still manage to maintain his dark evilness, which is quite a feat! You have a gift for lovely, original turns of phrase that really makes your writing stand out. I can see why everyone's been singing your praises lately, and I will make an effort to read more of your work when the opportunity arises! |
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| Reviewer: Krissy Riddle | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85100 | Chapter: 1 |
Great, like all your stories, I only can say.
This is much better than where it's told from Harry's point of view, because he's only watching.
I just love to read stuff like that.
K. Riddle |
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| Reviewer: Jane Wilson | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85099 | Chapter: 1 |
Great short work, Kate!
Again, a story filled with great characterization and phrasing.
Unlike some others, however, I don't care for the title. I would have preferred if you had used some of the 'lion lamed' imagery that you worked into the story.
Still, keep the Tom stories flowing - whatever you decide to call them!
Cheers!
Jenna |
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| Reviewer: Errisar | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85098 | Chapter: 1 |
One of the best fics that I have read in a very long time, second only thus far to your "A Broken Victory". I heartily hope you will continue to write.
With All Regards,
Errisar |
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| Reviewer: cen | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85097 | Chapter: 1 |
| I like the idea that Tom remembers his childhood and youth so clearly - that's an excellent way to begin this story. The long way from stealing a coin from under the orphanage keeper's son's pillow to words like "If death is nothing, kill the boy." never seemed more realistic and... well, touching. I love all of your stories but somehow I like this one best, perhaps because it's so dense. It's so very much the scene from the book, just from another POV. Great work. Keep at it! |
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| Reviewer: OrangleSickle | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85094 | Chapter: 1 |
Now I know why this was niffled. Absolutely breathtaking characterization and writing.
Orange |
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| Reviewer: BellaSlytherin | Date: 2004-05-29 |
| Reviewid: 85093 | Chapter: 1 |
After reading The Broken Victory, I just had to check this out, and you outdid yourself again. Voldemort's thoughts were just amazing, and the style it was written in, almost folklore, was just SO fitting. It fits his ego, his delusion, his sense of humor... it's beautiful and cold and vibrant. It's NOT Broken Victory over again in style or character, but there is a connection. Just amazing.
*Bella, reading this again* |
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| Reviewer: Ophelia | Date: 2004-05-28 |
| Reviewid: 84925 | Chapter: 1 |
Wow. Dang. Absolutely brilliant. This is the best alternate POV I've read in a long time. A brilliant capturing of Voldemort's thoughts during the duel with Dumbledore. So beautiful and chilling, real and vibrant.
O |
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| Reviewer: Kate Lynn | Date: 2004-05-22 |
| Reviewid: 84058 | Chapter: 1 |
Author's Notes
Thanks to all the reviews. :) Actually, the tense changes weren't mistakes; I planned the switch back to the present tense to occur here:
'Survival was all there was. And is. It is the foundation, my foundation, and he will not take that from me.'
That was planned on purpose. I'm sorry if the reason for that, in regards to both style and content, was not clear enough for you to understand. But it certainly wasn't something my beta 'missed.' ;) It was a choice.
Thanks again,
Kate |
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| Reviewer: CornedBee | Date: 2004-05-22 |
| Reviewid: 84035 | Chapter: 1 |
Your picture of Voldemort's thoughts is intriguing, your choice of words excellent, but you've got quite a few temporal errors in there, especially in the middle. The part right after the reminiscence about Tom's first school day goes on in past tense, though it should be present tense.
Shouldn't the beta catch this btw? |
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| Reviewer: Bryonia Alba | Date: 2004-05-10 |
| Reviewid: 81985 | Chapter: 1 |
Hi, I tried to review this a couple of days ago and it wouldn't let me, for some reason. My apologies for the delay!
I really enjoyed this story. Your characterization of Voldemort is interestingly different, yet you still manage to maintain his dark evilness, which is quite a feat! You have a gift for lovely, original turns of phrase that really makes your writing stand out. I can see why everyone's been singing your praises lately, and I will make an effort to read more of your work when the opportunity arises! |
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| Reviewer: Krissy | Date: 2004-05-10 |
| Reviewid: 81983 | Chapter: 1 |
Great, like all your stories, I only can say.
This is much better than where it's told from Harry's point of view, because he's only watching.
I just love to read stuff like that. |
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| Reviewer: Jenna McLean | Date: 2004-05-10 |
| Reviewid: 81982 | Chapter: 1 |
Great short work, Kate!
Again, a story filled with great characterization and phrasing.
Unlike some others, however, I don't care for the title. I would have preferred if you had used some of the 'lion lamed' imagery that you worked into the story.
Still, keep the Tom stories flowing - whatever you decide to call them!
Cheers!
Jenna |
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| Reviewer: Errisar | Date: 2004-05-10 |
| Reviewid: 81981 | Chapter: 1 |
One of the best fics that I have read in a very long time, second only thus far to your "A Broken Victory". I heartily hope you will continue to write.
With All Regards,
Errisar |
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| Reviewer: cennet | Date: 2004-05-10 |
| Reviewid: 81980 | Chapter: 1 |
I like the idea that Tom remembers his childhood and youth so clearly - that's an excellent way to begin this story. The long way from stealing a coin from under the orphanage keeper's son's pillow to words like "If death is nothing, kill the boy." never seemed more realistic and... well, touching.
I love all of your stories but somehow I like this one best, perhaps because it's so dense. It's so very much the scene from the book, just from another POV. Great work. Keep at it! |
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| Reviewer: Moon Goddess | Date: 2004-04-02 |
| Reviewid: 76927 | Chapter: 1 |
| Great detail! Love how you describe feelings! I love it when we get a glimpse of what motivates characters that we are inclined to hate and find ourselves empathising with them. Teaches us about ourselves. Thanks. |
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| Reviewer: Mcily Nochi | Date: 2004-03-29 |
| Reviewid: 76235 | Chapter: 1 |
| I've now read all of your stories here at Sugarquill, and I am blown away by your writing. Your interpretation of Tom Riddle is the best I've ever seen. This piece in particular fascinated me, as we see the fight from the other side. Voldemort knows that he is evil, and he embraces it. He doesn't try to hide behind a mask of good intentions. He revels in his hatred for others and their hatred for him. That makes him all the more chilling. |
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| Reviewer: Kate Lynn | Date: 2004-03-11 |
| Reviewid: 74105 | Chapter: 1 |
***Author Note on Fan Art***
GangsterSteph did this fanart for this fic:
http://www.deviantart.com/view/5270557/
Copy and paste to see. :) Any remarks/comments I can forward to her, including requests for her addy.
Kate |
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| Reviewer: Zip | Date: 2004-03-09 |
| Reviewid: 73791 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow... brilliant. I loved the imagery, and the characterization. I never really wanted to get into Voldemort's head, but you do it well, and it's written wonderfully. |
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| Reviewer: emmeline | Date: 2004-02-27 |
| Reviewid: 72359 | Chapter: 1 |
Wow.
I can really find no other words to describe that.
Excellent; thought-provoking and chilling, I love the way you presented Voldemort as viewing things in an abstract way...his perception of Dumbledore (and the inability to yuse his first name) is a very interesting concept indeed.
Has that been left hanging?
Please write some more! I wait with bated breath. |
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| Reviewer: Jolie | Date: 2004-02-21 |
| Reviewid: 71746 | Chapter: 1 |
A very well written piece! Extremely well written, very poetic and intense.
And you're so good at getting into Voldemort's mind that I find it positively scary! Seriously, I very much like how he's still fairly human, and allows himself these feelings, particularly the weaknesses, and to reflect on them. Voldemort *is* a very complex character (and not at all the one-dimensional baddie that many stories make him out to be), but I find it very hard to try and see things from his POV. Your story helps a lot with that.
I particularly like how he has *partly* left his old self (Tom) totally behind, but not entirely, how the Tom in him always catches up with him, and Dumbledore knows this exactly. I remember I almost cheered when I read OOTP and he addressed Voldemort as "Tom". "Tom" is certainly the key to understanding Voldemort, just as it will be the key to defeat him in the end!
Possibly my favourite line: "I had avoided death, the tomb of Tom Marvolo Riddle, and risen better than a phoenix, for I had rebuilt stronger."
What a great image/comparison. Makes me really worried for Dumbledore and the Order!
And the last three words are great in their simplicity, too.
And just a detail: I like the way you describe how you block a spell before it hits you - by sensing that it's going to come, from the power that radiates from your opponent (sorry, you describe it so much better than I can!). Because I was wondering how that was done.
P.S. I solemnly swear that I will read "The Broken Victory" some time soon. As soon as I have the time. Now I want to even more! |
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| Reviewer: Frankie | Date: 2004-02-17 |
| Reviewid: 71141 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very well done. I love the way you keep forcing Voldemort to use Dumbledore's first name, even though it goes against everything he had drilled into him. Nice alternate PoV for the battle scene. I think Voldemort's attempts at convincing himself that he isn't scared and to control his emotions are wonderful. Fantastic job, yet again! |
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| Reviewer: Violet | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 71041 | Chapter: 1 |
You're one of the few authors, as others said on your Niffle thread, who just doesn't get as many reviews as you should. Your writing and characterizations are one of the best, if not the best, around, imo. How you get inside the character's mind, the plot twists and emotions and complexity... I am just amazed. I don't know why you aren't on the Professor's Bookshelf, either. Not that it matters. What does is the writing, and yours is by far my favorite. Excellent job once again, and thanks for the many hours of enjoyment you've given me with your tales.
Violet |
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| Reviewer: Cali | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70951 | Chapter: 1 |
You know, your writing is always brilliant, but I like how you alter the style slightly, for each character's voice. Voldie's is different than Percy's whose is different than Dumbledore's - it's really amazing how you capture them all. I also loved how Voldie started out by thinking of all the legends that have sprung up about him, all the horrid things he's accused of, relating it then to a memory of his childhoods. It has an air of bemusement, and yet, there is some connection to his past. He never does fully get over his past, as much as he tries. It still was part of what shaped him.
Ohh, and his little games with Dumbledore, his hatred, his ego, his uncertainty - you've shown the complexity of Voldemort, the cruel and pathetic, the strength and the limitations in a wonderfully chilling way.
Cali |
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| Reviewer: alison66 | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70935 | Chapter: 1 |
What can I say? Your way to get inside whatever character's head you choose is superior to anyone else's that I've read. In this one, you focus on Voldemort, and again I'm blown away. It's also written very beautifully.
I can't think of how you'd do this one better. All I can say is write more SoD, since there you get into everyone's head. :)
Ali |
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| Reviewer: ilene | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70910 | Chapter: 1 |
| A great piece that shows a lot about why Tom hates and fears Dumbledore so much. I thought your idea of why Tom is so obsessed with conquering death, how you tie it to his past and how he has struggled to simply survive for so long that he will do anything he can to do so, is very compelling. I also noticed for the first time that the way Fawkes takes the hit for Dumbledore, and how Tom reacts in disgust, is similar to what happened with diary-Tom in CoS. And I loved your idea that the possession of Harry puts Tom in as much pain as Harry. |
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| Reviewer: Animus | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70901 | Chapter: 1 |
Brilliant.
This story compelled me to read The Broken Victory (which I am thoroughly enjoying so far) so I hope that tells you how well I think of this piece and your writing in particular. |
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| Reviewer: Amber | Date: 2004-02-16 |
| Reviewid: 70895 | Chapter: 1 |
I think it's the duel between Tom and Dumbledore at the end of OotP, from Voldie's POV. I got that, but it would probably have been better had that Alternate POV note been included. But, since you yourself pointed that out, Kate, I won't harp on it. I make dumb mistakes like that all the time. :)
This was beautifully written. Very lyrical and haunting, and I liked how you could FEEL the digust Voldie has for Harry and Dumbledore, but at the same time, he's... I don't know how to put it, but he points out that Dumbledore LIKES Harry, protects Harry. I don't want to call it jealousy, but it just made me think. So many levels.
He wasn't just tempting Dumbly at the end, either. I think he liked to see/feel the pain of Harry, and see Dumbledore's limitations.
Excellent. You're one of my favorite authors by far.
Amber |
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| Reviewer: Carmen | Date: 2004-02-15 |
| Reviewid: 70892 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is really good, and I love the words you use, but.... overall, I didn't quite get what happened in the story.... *blushes* |
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| Reviewer: Kate Lynn | Date: 2004-02-15 |
| Reviewid: 70883 | Chapter: 1 |
***AUTHOR'S NOTE***
I should have included a note at the top of this saying it's an OotP Alternate POV fic. I'm sorry if that caused any confusion.
Kate Lynn |
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