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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: First Step
Review(s): 28

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-18
Reviewid: 139993Chapter: 1
Very well done. Thanks.

Reviewer: JK AshavahDate: 2005-02-03
Reviewid: 112826Chapter: 1
Hi!

I recently remembered reading this and set off to find it again, I loved it so much. It's got an awesome premise and it's great, a real gem of a story. Plus Alfrieda and the great-grandmother are great. I'm so proud to have had even a small part in this fic.

Well done!

Yours,

JK/Ashavah

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-01-31
Reviewid: 112583Chapter: 1
This is going to be short, because I have to run, but this was an awesome story. Marrietta's mother was wonderfully written, as a not evil Slytherin, and definitly not as JKR would have led us to believe, but still completely plausible. The only thing that I had trouble was that you seemed to have Hermione do no wrong by hexing the paper. I never really completely agreed with that, and people do have different ideas. You also had '"That it was my own fault, what happened to me. I don't think it's right that Granger hexed the paper, but my betrayal… that was my own doing. I shouldn't have done it. If I wanted out, I should have just stopped going."' which was a good compromise if one was needed. Well, I guess this wasn't short, but it was a bit rushed, I'll come back and read it properly.

Reviewer: AllemandeDate: 2004-09-28
Reviewid: 99712Chapter: 1
Lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely. How did I miss your fiction until now? You have a wonderful writing style; it all reads very naturally. And this is *exactly* the type of HP fic that I like: A glimpse into one of the characters, with a little mention of the events from the book, with a little inter-House philosophy, with a few of your own magical inventions, with believable character names and family relations (Narcissa's cousin, maiden name Nigellus...) -- and of course, with so much warmth, and a moral. And not only Marietta learned something in the last few months, Alfrieda did, as well! A very believable detail, since the events at the end of OoP must have caused a LOT of people to rethink.

I'll be recommending this. Thank you for a very nice read. (And, yes, I should still be studying...)

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2004-09-27
Reviewid: 99618Chapter: 1
That was great. I really enjoyed it.

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2004-09-27
Reviewid: 99609Chapter: 1
Wonderful! The description wwas exquisite, especially of the diary in the beginning- it really set the tone for the story- I was seeing pale green before my eyes all the time I read. I loved the side lights cast on Cho and Umbridge, Harry,, our sluggish slytherin friends.. and of course Marietta. Ravenclaw with a touch of Slytherin and Hufflepuff... but the Gryffindor in her won through in the end, for which I am very glad. Inspired idea, how the curse was finally broken. Oh, and I loved the talking portrait. Really lovely story... sigh. If only all fanfics were like this!

Reviewer: Author by NightDate: 2004-09-27
Reviewid: 99475Chapter: 1
Wow, this fanfic is really good! :) I felt a little sorry for Marietta.

Reviewer: Jo WickaninnishDate: 2004-07-27
Reviewid: 94120Chapter: 1
That was well done. I was very impressed by the character of Marietta's mother. She rang very true and was an interesting sort of Slytherin. I could see the Slytherin traits as they were supposed to be in her, not as they're commonly warped because Malfoys, Lestranges and Voldemort were all from the house. Good job.

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-06-10
Reviewid: 86682Chapter: 1
Yes! Exactly my view on the hex.

Good work.

Reviewer: St. MargaretsDate: 2004-03-29
Reviewid: 76233Chapter: 1
This was a wonderful idea for story. You did a great job of dropping the reader into Alfrieda's world and pov. Your use of plot devices to allow us to see into Alfrieda's thoughts was wonderful--the diary, the tea leaves, letters, the portrait, etc . . .
I liked how you had Marietta confess her fault, and how that relates back to the diary and the boils from the beginning. The entire story was very well thought out.
I also like the idea of all the houses of Hogwarts being represented in this family! Wonderful

Reviewer: OzmaDate: 2004-03-15
Reviewid: 74746Chapter: 1
This is an exquisite story, beautifully written and very moving! Alfrieda is well-rounded and likable, one of the most refreshingly written Slytherins I've encountered in a fic.

It was fascinating to see the students through Alfrieda's eyes as they got off the train, and her reaction to Marietta (the embrace)and her calm words moved me very much.

The idea that Marietta herself has the power to lift the jinx with maturity, insight and responsibility is brilliant!

Your story has many other brilliant touches; Alfrieda's look at Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle in slug-form (thanks for letting us see them 'get better' too) the mention that Alfrieda's family has been in a mixture of Houses, Alfrieda's not recognizing Marietta at first, seeing her daughter only as a masked woman in black... all lovely! Thank you for writing this story.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-03-09
Reviewid: 73821Chapter: 1
This is a great story. It's really wonderful. I love it. Your writing flows well, your plot and characterisation are excellent, and I love the little details you put in, like "Nigellus" in Alfrieda's name, the lovely name of the house-elf, the great-grandmother's portrait, Cho's influence on Marietta, the slugs in the train. Good job!

Reviewer: AerinDate: 2004-03-09
Reviewid: 73797Chapter: 1
Brilliant, very touching. I loved how you took a character we know almost nothing about and had all this history, and I also admire how you tied in the Edgecombes with the Blacks etcetera. Very nice touch. Great work...I look to see more from you. ^_^

Reviewer: FrankieDate: 2004-03-08
Reviewid: 73714Chapter: 1
Very well done! "It's not the House but your character that concerns us. Your decisions come from that, not from your House affiliation." Fantastic. Few people realize that the character isn't created by their house, simply molded a bit. Very nice piece.

Reviewer: beckDate: 2004-03-08
Reviewid: 73708Chapter: 1
bravo bravo great little out take well done =)

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-03-08
Reviewid: 73688Chapter: 1
I loved this. From the angle you chose to write to the great added details of the wizarding world. All of it was very well done. Since I am just about ready to post a letter from Marietta to her Mum, I was particularly interested in seeing how you did this. And it is completely different than mine! In fact, just about as opposite as could be. But I like yours better.

I don't think Marietta is of age. Not in the same year she would do her OWLs. But that is not really inportant to the storyline. I see why you did it. But I think the essence of the story survives without that. Because the essence is about watching a child grow.

Favorite bits:
>>"This afternoon's tealeaves are disturbing. Signs of distress, and a sickle - clearly a warning about a medical problem. I see something relating to my brother here, and a pelican. But then, I see a pelican every time Marietta comes home - as it is the sign of maternal instincts, it's entirely appropriate that I would see it. But my brother? Philip or Maxwell? I'll owl them tomorrow morning."<< I like how you make this an everyday ritual. Cool.

>>Yesterday, Daphne Groton had tried to use the Floo in her superior's office to make a quick shopping trip during her tea-break instead of going to the Atrium as was now required. The results had been embarrassing and cause for dismissal. As Alfrieda climbed the stairs, she wondered if Daphne's handbag would show up with the rest of her clothing.<< Too funny!

I also like the way there is a hodge podge of houses in the family. Nice touch.

Great work!

Reviewer: GwendolynDate: 2004-03-08
Reviewid: 73667Chapter: 1
Wow! I always wondered if Marietta learned her lesson. Thank you for sharing this missing moment with us. I like how you wrote "It's not the House but your character that concerns us. Your decisions come from that, not from your House affiliation." I think that so often in fan fictin we just write the sterotypes of the houses. Thank you for showing us that there are decent people in all the houses.

Reviewer: AmyDate: 2004-03-07
Reviewid: 73606Chapter: 1
Good job KIsMet!!!! I'm very impressed!!!! I can't wait to read what else you come up with.

Reviewer: CarmenDate: 2004-03-07
Reviewid: 73580Chapter: 1
Wow! This is great. I'd love to find out what Marietta's motivation was, both for joining and then ratting on the D.A. Alfrieda Edgecombe is a great character -- very realistic. Great job!

Reviewer: FalcoDate: 2004-03-07
Reviewid: 73532Chapter: 1
I'm so pleased you made it on to the Quill - you deserve it. This fic is very high quality.

Reviewer: Olive HornbyDate: 2004-03-07
Reviewid: 73519Chapter: 1
I like your take on Hermione's jinxed parchment and how you resolved it. Marietta's long period of humiliation makes sense in this story, and you provide some insight as to why she turned Harry and the others in to Umbridge. The way she reasons out what happened and tries to piece it together seems very realistic. I would have thought that a parent who realized that their child had been on the receiving end of a memory charm would be more upset than Alfrieda was, but her resolve to have it looked at St. Mungo's into was nice. This is the only Marietta story I have ever read and I'm glad to get a little more insight into her character. Well done!

Reviewer: Andrea13Date: 2004-03-07
Reviewid: 73492Chapter: 1
Wonderful! I loved seeing Marietta's viewpoint, and her mother is a very interesting character as well. I don't think Hermione would've left Marietta permanently hexed, so this ending is a good choice. :)

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-03-07
Reviewid: 73439Chapter: 1
I loved this! A unique idea for a fic--Marietta's mother's reaction. I like the idea of Hermione making the curse last until Marietta admitted that she had done something wrong. I always thought that it was uncharacteristically cruel of Hermione to permanently disfigure someone's face like that--but it's very much like her to make someone admit that they were in the wrong. I see that this is your first story at SQ--I hope to see you post more. You're an insanely good writer.

-Linnet

Reviewer: Sergeant MajoretteDate: 2004-03-06
Reviewid: 73414Chapter: 1
Thanks for this. I have the feeling that JKR is not going to tell us what happened to Marietta, and that's just the kind of thing we obsessive-compulsive fans like to know!

Reviewer: Three Sickles ShortDate: 2004-03-06
Reviewid: 73366Chapter: 1
I really like Marietta's mum! One of the elusive "good Slytherins." I also really like the idea that the boils won't fade until the person takes responsibility for the action that caused them. Good to see Mature!Marietta. In short, a lovely story.

TSS

Reviewer: Red MonsterDate: 2004-03-06
Reviewid: 73361Chapter: 1
Heartwarming! Make me happy!

Reviewer: AshturDate: 2004-03-06
Reviewid: 73343Chapter: 1
Very nice. I hadn't really thought of the story from the POV of Marietta's mother. Interesting to make her a Slytherin, but it worked well, especially as she is a "good" Slytherin. I like the idea that taking responsibility is what "cured" Marietta, though it's hard to be sure how much she herself remembers under the memory charm, though you deal with that as well.

Reviewer: alphabetDate: 2004-03-06
Reviewid: 73305Chapter: 1
Very intriguing story! I liked Alfrieda very much--a bit pedantic maybe, but no one is perfect. I really liked how you tied Alfrieda's journal to the hex. Very clever; a seeming throwaway joke actually an important part of the plot. Nice job.

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