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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Despondent Dudley
Review(s): 16

Reviewer: spooky foxbabeDate: 2004-12-15
Reviewid: 107872Chapter: 1
so good! i was wondering what Dudders thought when the dementors got near him.

Reviewer: LIWYDate: 2004-08-12
Reviewid: 96959Chapter: 1
Well written, overall, albeit with a couple of reservations on my part. God job!

Reviewer: Moon GoddessDate: 2004-04-10
Reviewid: 78043Chapter: 1
I truly believe that a child may be born with certain personality traits but how those traits are applied is a matter of learning (i.e. it is the same agressive trait applied differently that makes one person competitive and another a bully). I also believe that we do not live in an either/or world. We can hate AND love someone at the same time. Your story is a good illustration of both of these principles. Good job.

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2004-04-10
Reviewid: 77977Chapter: 1
This was very interesting. You tied things into canon clearly, and it was nice to get a fresh angle on this scene. However, I do have some criticisms to make:
1) I think the fact that Dudley's abuse was nicknamed "Bully" is a trifle too quaint. Bullwinkle is hardly a common name to begin with, but I think the symbolism there is so obvious it's awkward.
2) "Dudley could see in Harryís eyes that there had been a connection. Harry had obviously been having nightmares the night before. Dudley had actually been quite concerned over Harry, but now was not the time for weakness. Weakness only led to misery. Now was the time for strength and he went for the kill without mercy. He laughed and then imitated the high-pitched voice he often heard from the younger kids he beat up."
I think this paragraph contradicts itself in characterizing Dudley. Someone who beats up small children regularly, and who has brutally taunted Harry so regularly, can hardly be justified to be "quite concerned" about Harry's feelings. Harry and Dudley hardly relate to each other in the novels beyond hateful teasing. It would be nice to think that Dudley is human enough to care for our hero, but I don't think it's realistic when looking at past precedent.
Overall, I think this was a nice concept, well explored, nicely done.

Reviewer: P. D. YerfDate: 2004-03-15
Reviewid: 74769Chapter: 1
Interesting idea, Dudley being intimitaded by someone else when he was younger...very interesting.

Reviewer: StarlightDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74672Chapter: 1

Reviewer: Red MonsterDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74667Chapter: 1
Aha! Thank you. That makes much more sense now. And it's interesting to think that Dudley might be worried about how much he can get away with before his parents do something about it.

Reviewer: CarmenDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74640Chapter: 1
This is a great look at Dudley and why he is the way he is. I didn't like some of your phrasing, but the story is great! It makes a lot of sense, with that Bully kid and how that influenced Dudley.

Reviewer: Antonia EastDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74609Chapter: 1
AAAAAAAARrrrgh! What have you done??? You made me feel SORRY for Dudley!!

Reviewer: US HP FanDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74575Chapter: 1
Thank you all for your comments so far. I've no idea what happened to that paragraph. It's supposed to read:

Dudley turned to walk towards his home. It was getting late, and he was heading home. He didnít really want to go home yet, but he felt there was only so far he could push the limits with his parents. Fortunately for him they were so obsessed with the thought that his cousin Harry might do something unusual that they ignored any signs of misbehavior from him.

I'll check to see how I might edit it. It didn't have any problems before--promise.

As far as being in or out of canon. I fully acknowledge Dudley was a complete brat at age 2. Mind you most children are completely self-centered at two (hence the name the 'terrible twos').

That's not to say people can't go through terrible experiences--even if they are not the nicest people in the first place. Most of Dudley's encounters with Bully Polkiss happened over a number years. Traumatic enough to turn Dudley into a useless lump in the face of the Dementors, but not often enough that he'd never go to Pier's house again.

I hope that helps answer some questions. It was suppposed to be short and thought provoking. Thanks again for the feedback!

Reviewer: Red MonsterDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74573Chapter: 1
****Dudley turned to walk towards home. It was getting late, and he was heading home. He didnít really want to go home yet, but he felt there was only so far he could thought that his cousin Harry might do something unusual that they ignored any signs of misbehavior from him. ****

This paragraph makes no sense. You had me until "but he felt there was only so far he could" and then there seem to be several words missing. What were you trying to communicate here?

Dudley's memories are interesting (I appreciate that you made most of them non-magical), and sufficiently traumatic to make him useless for the rest of the evening, but I do have to wonder why he'd keep going to Piers's house if Piers had a cousin who took every opportunity to beat on Dudley.

The crowning glory is the ending. That's the perfect place to end the story, and you've done a fine job of connecting the dementor attack to Dudley's vomiting all over the mat.

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74551Chapter: 1
And it is up! Glad you didn't have to wait too long!

I think this is an interesting look at what makes a bully a bully. Usually there are things in their background that explain their behaviour. Not perhaps justify, but explain. Not many people are evil because they have worked out the philosophical and moral implications of their actions. Most people - good and evil - see themselves as acting in a way that is justified by circumstances.

I think you've done a good job of interweaving Dudley's thoughts with the canon account. The flow was very good. I think he comes off looking better than he deserves, but then JKR has had five books to establish my opinion.

Good job!!

Reviewer: AreDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74538Chapter: 1
I think that you are probably an excellent writer, but I cannot imagine Dudley having those memories. It clearly states in the HP books that Dudley was a brat at even age 2! Dudley is not the type of person to get beat up on without either tattling or beating up the other person himself! Good story, but I don't think that you stayed in canon very much at all.

Reviewer: MarhanaDate: 2004-03-14
Reviewid: 74536Chapter: 1
This is good, but it could was not at all what I imagined. Dudley seems to be the type who is naturally a brat, not turned into one by someone else. I can't quite see him as weak as this.

Reviewer: Avari SloaneDate: 2004-03-13
Reviewid: 74524Chapter: 1
I absolutely love how you gave Dudley an actual personality. He becomes much less two dimensional. It shows a lot of ingenuity to depict him in this light. I think the only criticism I have is that the following quote doesn't make much sense, as if it were missing some of the words (perhaps a typo, or maybe just elided over while typing up the story).

"He didnít really want to go home yet, but he felt there was only so far he could thought that his cousin Harry might do something unusual that they ignored any signs of misbehavior from him."

Other than that, it's perfect.

Reviewer: GwendolynDate: 2004-03-13
Reviewid: 74517Chapter: 1
Oh, the first review! Great job! I liked how you tied in each phrase in OotP with a thought from Dudley. I actually felt sorry for him, especially when he was remembering Bully. It's hard to imagine someone worse than Dudley, but I certainly would never want to meet Bully, in a dark alley, or anywhere. Once again, great job! And I look forward to more from you in the future.

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