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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Over The Moon
Review(s): 10

Reviewer: ValDate: 2005-04-28
Reviewid: 120824Chapter: 1
Aww. That was really cute. I really liked that story.

Reviewer: jaizar (lady azira)Date: 2004-05-10
Reviewid: 81998Chapter: 1
kewl- u know what i think of this. i still adore trhe ending and i think u shoudl hurry up and put mroe story's up. quick!

Reviewer: tawnyfawnDate: 2004-04-02
Reviewid: 76859Chapter: 1
Excellent story! =) I loved the line 'I'm over the moon,' because it sort of had two meanings. Really cool. The summary was also really good. The actual story though, was excellent! I thought all the characters were in character. I liked it how everyone came through in the end, and Peter wasn't evil or anything, and he stood by his friend. Excellent story, dudess. Keep it up!
from fawny

Reviewer: VixDate: 2004-03-21
Reviewid: 75393Chapter: 1
Wow, this is an amazing story, and it's written really well and simply. I like the idea that Sirius took a longer time to accept the fact that Remus is a werewolf than James and Peter, as we have frequently seen that he is quite a stubborn character. However, one problem is that Sirius changes his mind very quickly and suddenly. Great story!

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-03-19
Reviewid: 75223Chapter: 1
First off...I love your summary. It attracted me right away...I love the line about your best friend being your worst nightmare.

I love the line "I'm over the moon." The double meaning was perfect. I'd love to see more of your work!

-Linnet

Reviewer: RivDate: 2004-03-19
Reviewid: 75206Chapter: 1
Hey man... u got some reviewers there so takwe a look at them.... i think i might haev fixed a minor probv... but not sure

Reviewer: GyakutennoDate: 2004-03-17
Reviewid: 75042Chapter: 1
Yay! I was thinking, when Sirius started babbling that Remus has been eaten and the wolf put on his clothes (o.0) that he was being illogical. And he kept being illogical up 'til the ending. Ah, well, boys always do that... And also, there's this weird thing going on. You've got AJD1 through AJD5 tagged onto bits of your story where you made typoes or could improve the way you wrote it somehow. You might wanna look into that.

Reviewer: FrankieDate: 2004-03-16
Reviewid: 74904Chapter: 1
Nicely done! I always thought there would have to be some conflict with Remus' transformations when the Marauders found out, and I think you handled it beautifully.

Reviewer: SiriuslyLupinDate: 2004-03-16
Reviewid: 74879Chapter: 1
I agree with the previous poster...This does need reworked a bit and proof-read again.

It's a good concept, but the Marauders seem out of character to me, too. At the beginning, when they were coming back from Quidditch, it was good, but somewhere around when Remus left, they seemed to step out of character drastically. I just can't imagine Sirius thinking those things about Remus. That seems more like a reaction that Peter would have...Silently thinking that Remus is a monster, but unwilling to stand up to James and Sirius about it. But I guess we all have our different ideas of them :)

But I do like the final exchange between Sirius and Remus about the moon, and the title you got from it...Very nice touch.

Reviewer: Lady NarcissaDate: 2004-03-16
Reviewid: 74838Chapter: 1
Hmm. I think this story has lots of potential, but it wants a few things. First, I'm a stickler for grammar. This needs to have some work done it purely from a grammatical perspective, particularly in regards to punctuation and spelling.

James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius also seem a bit out of character to me. Was it intentional to make James seem so much older and wiser than the other three? He seems in lots of ways like a junior Dumbledore.

You've also got an overabundance of dialog and an underabundance of action in many places. I think the story has great potential, but I also think that it could use tightening up and a bit of rework. I'd love to see it again if you do.

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