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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 11
| Reviewer: Katinka | Date: 2004-06-16 |
| Reviewid: 87341 | Chapter: 1 |
Merlin's beard, this fic is gut-wrenching! (In the best way, of course.) What I like best is that you don't villify either party, despite their individual faults. These things can happen even in the best of relationships, familial or otherwise.
>>Mere hours, fragile words, tenuous circumstances. Suddenly, a fabric so tightly woven was unraveled by those seemingly unimposing pricks. And yet, looking back, the threads had long since become frayed.<<
Ouch, ouch, ouch. This almost hurts to read, but I think you really convey the "wake-up" call that this incident was to Percy and the rest of the family. I love Arthur and Molly, but this shows that perhaps Percy had been slowly drifting out of their line of sight... :(
>>With such a large family it was bound to happen, even at times to ones as loud and active as Fred and George. No, it was more the awareness of how difficult it was to reenter any conversation with them. Or do anything with them.<<
Again, I appreciate that you don't candy-coat the Weasley family, but you don't portray them as horrid people either. I come from a culture of larger-than-usual families (one reason why I always feel the need to defend the Weasleys, I'm sure), and yes, keeping up with each child and knowing their individual needs can be a definite challenge.
>>The utensils trembled slightly in his hand with an unconcealed excitement inappropriate for his age and position. And yet, strive as he might for a dignified expression, the giddiness was practically uncontainable. It treacherously lifted up one corner of his mouth the moment he straightened the other from curling up to his eyebrow.<<
Misguided though he was, that promotion must have meant so much to Percy.
>>“I’ve had to struggle against your reputation ever since I joined the Ministry,” he erupted. His escaped words blew about the room, filling it with a figurative mass that seemed like a malicious and untamed beast. <<
Yikes. The gloves are off.
>>Burning indignation drove him to sniff, “Forgive me for being the one to have ambition. I see how just doing what you want has provided so well for us in the past.”<<
Yikes, again. This makes me wish I was actually there, so that I might stifle Percy's mouth before he says anything else!
>>His family did everything with disabandon, going on emotion and whim, temper and passion. While they loved greatly, Percy felt they could hurt terribly, even themselves.<<
True, true, true.
>>It was as if his insides had been a rag saturated with emotion, the excess of which was being wrung out through his mouth and expelled as coldly dripping words. <<
Ooh, great imagery.
>>No one came. No sibling to hex him, no mother to guilt him, no father to shame him.
Nor did they come to throw him out.
And neither would he go to them. <<
Waaaaaaaah! Beautifully written, but MAN -- that just tears at you. Well done, indeed.
~Katinka |
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| Reviewer: Relly | Date: 2004-05-30 |
| Reviewid: 85329 | Chapter: 1 |
| You've captured Percy so amazingly well in this heartbreaking story. You can see the gradual distancing as well as the sudden breaks that ripped the Weasleys apart. |
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| Reviewer: Valerie | Date: 2004-03-20 |
| Reviewid: 75295 | Chapter: 1 |
| Whoa...that was really, really good. It made me feel some pity for Percy. I know that I have felt like he did in a restaurant with my large family on occasions. Your writing is beautiful. You conveyed emotion in such a touching way that I could feel what Percy, and the rest of the Weasleys, were feeling. This was an excellent fanfic!! *claps* |
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| Reviewer: FrenchTouch | Date: 2004-03-19 |
| Reviewid: 75262 | Chapter: 1 |
| How sad!!! I love your characterization of Percy : not manichean at all!! Great story, I really loved it!! Thanks! |
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| Reviewer: St. Margarets | Date: 2004-03-18 |
| Reviewid: 75061 | Chapter: 1 |
| You did a great job creating an intensity in Percy and in Arthur. You also managed to convey the noisy background of the Weasley house, which faded away as the argument intensified. Well done. |
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| Reviewer: Deborah Peters | Date: 2004-03-18 |
| Reviewid: 75054 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is so excellently intense! Excellent characterisation for both the misters Weasley. What I enjoyed most was the way you managed to neither excuse Percy for his actions nor paint him as an all-around git. Well done! |
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| Reviewer: Kate Lynn | Date: 2004-03-17 |
| Reviewid: 75025 | Chapter: 1 |
***Author's Note***
This is simply a revised version of the ficlet below by the same name. Sorry for the confusion, it's being taken care of.
Kate |
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