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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 27
| Reviewer: Sana Jon | Date: 2005-02-14 |
| Reviewid: 113875 | Chapter: 1 |
| Very sad... thank God it's only a fic! Phew! It's made me a smidgen shaky... you put me in the mindset of the character surprisingly well, although I was a bit confused for a while whom I myself was and who's soul had been sucked out... also, the description of his soulless body was done very well... nice job. ;) :) |
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| Reviewer: Mostly Harmless | Date: 2004-10-14 |
| Reviewid: 101378 | Chapter: 1 |
wow. You totally had me going! I didn't realize it was Harry that had died for a WHILE. In any case, this was truly beautiful, a real heartbreaker. I liked how the story was in second person (there aren't many stories like that), though first person would probably have been just as good. One criticism: you need to be more careful about staying in the same tense. Look at this sentance:
"Hermione sighs again and stands up, leaving the room. After a few minutes, in which you fought against bursting into tears, the doctor comes back and approaches."
'Sighs' and 'approaches' are present tense. 'Fought' is past tense.
Besides that, all I can say is...fantastic job!
P.S: I really liked how (in the HP universe) irreversible comas turn out to be what happens when someone gets a Dementor Kiss...kind of like how JK Rowling says that depression happens mainly when Dementors are around. |
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| Reviewer: DazzleBox | Date: 2004-08-24 |
| Reviewid: 98414 | Chapter: 1 |
Very sad. I don't really like the second person view, I think a first or third person narrative would have served you better.
The story itself is well done, and you control the information well. I certainly hope that this isn't the end in store for Harry! |
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| Reviewer: Kiki | Date: 2004-07-25 |
| Reviewid: 93965 | Chapter: 1 |
*tear*
YOu had me crying! First I thought it was Hermoine and Ron.. Then Hermoine came.. SO then I couldn't figure out who it was. Until the doc said "Ms Weasley"
At least he died in a way that he would have wanted. |
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| Reviewer: Mikiri Deiya Glenrys | Date: 2004-07-20 |
| Reviewid: 93232 | Chapter: 1 |
| *Wipes eyes* No, it isn't fair... darn, my makeup's smearing... sniff... but I do like it... no worse than me killing him off and letting Voldemort take over the world, ne? |
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| Reviewer: ryoroow | Date: 2004-05-02 |
| Reviewid: 81012 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is such a moving story. I have been crying since the beginning. The end (the disappearance of the scar) was so heartbreaking. |
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| Reviewer: ryoroow | Date: 2004-05-02 |
| Reviewid: 81011 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is such a moving story. I have been crying since the beginning. The end (the disappearance of the scar) was so heartbreaking. |
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| Reviewer: ArianaEvans | Date: 2004-03-27 |
| Reviewid: 75968 | Chapter: 1 |
I think this may be the saddest fic I've ever read...I kind of guessed who the people were before it was explained and it made me that much sadder as I read. It also made me think about what J.K. said in her online chat at the beginning of March about how Harry will be receiving another kiss or two but that she's not saying who the kisser is...my mind immediately lept to this kind of scenario. It's also a lot scarier since (according to one of your reviewers) the last word in the series will be "scar". I really felt the emotions that Ginny was feeling...you did a good job with that. But please note that you have thoroughly depressed me!lol
~ArianaEvans |
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| Reviewer: Rachel Meltzer | Date: 2004-03-24 |
| Reviewid: 75812 | Chapter: 1 |
| wow... this is totally awsome. i've read it 6 times and everytime it makes me cry. that's good. you have amazing talent. you kept it a mystery who the "you" was and who the person who got kissed by the Dementor. This is amazing! |
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| Reviewer: Animus | Date: 2004-03-23 |
| Reviewid: 75665 | Chapter: 1 |
Beautiful.
Such a sad, yet great concept and quite plausible too. You have handled it very well, especially after choosing the rather unusual writing style which, by the way, makes one feel what Ginny is feeling even more acutely.
Keep up the good job.
Animus |
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| Reviewer: Meredith | Date: 2004-03-23 |
| Reviewid: 75638 | Chapter: 1 |
| This is the first story I've read written from the second person point of view. Interesting |
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| Reviewer: Adele | Date: 2004-03-22 |
| Reviewid: 75585 | Chapter: 1 |
| Made me cry. Was very realistic, the incorporation of the final word was perfectly executed, and it had a beautiful moral. Just - wow. |
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| Reviewer: Gyakutenno | Date: 2004-03-22 |
| Reviewid: 75559 | Chapter: 1 |
| It's all the more eerie 'cos Rowling said that the last word of the last book would be "scar." So it's like it's what'll really happen... Also, the second-person perspective is unusual. And it's more eerie-ness. |
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| Reviewer: Frankie | Date: 2004-03-22 |
| Reviewid: 75541 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow. This was beautiful. You're attention to detail, the emotions. . . very, very powerful. Well done. |
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| Reviewer: Birgit | Date: 2004-03-22 |
| Reviewid: 75488 | Chapter: 1 |
I'm not sure what to say. Your writing is very well, and the story is very gripping. The use of the second person works well, although the first person might have worked just as well, maybe or maybe not even better.
But I miss something in this story. Maybe it's because I can't see how you came to write it. Maybe it's because I'm missing background: I can't really understand Ginny's emotions and decisions without the back story. Maybe it's because the use of the second person after all, because I don't feel like I can identify with Ginny. As I said, I don't really understand her decisions.
Still, I think this is a great story, because it makes me feel sad - just like you intended to, without doubt. |
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