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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 16

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-03-20
Reviewid: 141110Chapter: 1
A vastly superior piece to what is usually available, and the best of yours that I have read. Brilliantly done. Thanks.

Reviewer: AreDate: 2005-06-15
Reviewid: 124039Chapter: 1
This is really good. I like it a lot. Could you continue (if you haven't already) on with it? About Sirius talking to Remus? Great work!

Reviewer: JessDate: 2005-04-25
Reviewid: 120547Chapter: 1
Wow, a very realistic and believable description of how Sirius grew up from the immature 15 year old prankster. I realised right away that the incident with Snape becoming a werewolf was an illusion but also that it was the only way to finally drive the Knights' point home. I thought the way the recorder symbolised his new understanding was very clever, 'But it would still have a voice' and 'It wasn’t quite the same as it had been. It would never be the same. But he found that there was a new depth to the recorder’s tone that he rather liked.'

And I loved the Monty Python references, very Sirius. Monty Python rocks! I look forward to reading your next fic, you are one of the best Sirius writers on this site.

Reviewer: nicoleDate: 2005-01-22
Reviewid: 111800Chapter: 1
really really good really sad though

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2004-07-09
Reviewid: 91469Chapter: 1
One of the BEST Sirius stories I have read, even considering that there are so many quality stories here at the Quill. Sirius's progress throughout the story is both believable and wonderfully described; the darkness lurking beneath the surface that is picked up in his altered relationships with Peter and James, his broken friendship with Remus, and the hollowness he feels inside at this change, is countered by the small but humorous references to Monty Python and Dickens. It was a wonderful idea to use the Knight of Mirrors - I wasn't confused by the third scene at all, by the way. I knew it was a vision, although perhaps that could have been given more emphasis. The flashbacks were brilliantly interwoven with Sirius's viewpoint and his journey to self-awareness. Dumbledore was nicely in character, and the ending was both crisp and memorable.

This is a story to be read over and over again.

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: BrigantiaDate: 2004-05-28
Reviewid: 85028Chapter: 1
This is excellent. It's inventive, moving, and extremely well written.

Reviewer: JulieDate: 2004-05-27
Reviewid: 84828Chapter: 1
Wow. This is an amazing story. Very plausible as a way for Sirius to mature. I think he needed this sort of "outside" intervention in order to realize what he'd done.

What Dumbledore said about the Knight reminded me a little of what he told Harry about the Mirror of Erised - the "strong men" line. (I hope you know what I'm talking about.) Harry and Sirius are both strong in many ways, although I don't know that they'd recognize it. (They also have many vulnerabilities, of course.)

Do you have any plans to continue this? I'd be really interested in how Sirius will react to Remus now, and Remus's response. And also how Sirius's family reacts.

Overall, a really great story. I'm surprised you haven't gotten more reviews for it.

I've just been rereading all your stories because I read Canopus's that reflects back on "Allemande". You're one of my favorite authors. I love the way you characterize both Sirius and Snape.

BTW, I understood the Snape being bitten as a "what if" right away. I'm not sure why...

Great job! (Sorry if I'm babbling)

Reviewer: SweetSiriusDate: 2004-04-04
Reviewid: 77196Chapter: 1
My apologies, Mincot, for not giving this fic the close attention it deserved. I did wonder whether it was a "could have been" moment, but as I did when I read JK Rowling's own first description of Remus, I was too eager to read on and settled too easily on my first thought. (Spent quite a while imagining Remus as balding - eep!!!)

But I reiterate that this is a wonderfully written story, and agree with Gryffinjack - it's a great depiction of the aftermath of The Prank. Thanks so much for this. Five red-and-gold stars to you!

All the best

~SweetSirius~

Reviewer: GryffinjackDate: 2004-04-02
Reviewid: 76900Chapter: 1
This is a stunningly emotional and perceptive view of Sirius, his thoughts, and progression after The Prank. It still floors me. Many stories have been written about The Prank and its aftermath, but none have delved into Sirius' views and emotional reaction as much as wonderfully as this one.

All of your characters are very true to canon, from Peter not really knowing what to say, to James trying to be supportive but still recognising that Sirius was wrong, to Remus' reaction. Your Remus is excellent. He did not forgive Sirius immediately, as many fics suggest, with the lame reasoning of "you've already learnt your lesson." Nor did he have a huge fight with Sirius. His controlled anger and disappointment at Sirius was complemented with his supreme frustration that Sirius did not understand the severe possibilities and reprecussions of his actions. Being Remus, he was left with no alternative but to not be able continue with the same friendly relationship as before.

Sirius. What an incredible journey he took in your story! He went from a complete denial of what his actions said about him as a person to a real understanding that we are all responsible for our actions and their reprecussions. He finally understood that there are severe reprecussions to thoughtless and uncaring actions which may seem like an innocent joke to begin with.

Although it is very exciting and amusing to play pranks on people, it must be done with great thought and caring for the way the "victim" will react as well as all others involved. Sirius was not prepared for this prior to The Prank nor the myriad other pranks he and James had pulled. The Knight held up the mirror and made him take a good, long, hard look at himself and see himself as he really was.

I did not find the scene where Snape gets "bitten" to be confusing at all. I knew it was a look at what easily could have been. It was one of the most powerful moments in the story for me that really drove the point home for Sirius.

This is a truly excellent story and gift to us all.

Reviewer: AlkariDate: 2004-03-31
Reviewid: 76620Chapter: 1
An excellent and very thought-provoking story. The introspection and self-honesty forced onto Sirius by the Knight was a wonderful way to show 'how' he matured and faced up to what he had done. And how he gained the strength to make a Life Decision about what he was going to do, and where his own values and life lay.

Your Dumbledore was very much the wise headmaster of canon, and his words to Sirius were beautifuly tied in to canon - especially the quote about choices.

And thank you for being someone who believes that Sirius DID grow up, and that not only James learnt lessons from The Prank!

Alkari

Reviewer: InsanityDate: 2004-03-31
Reviewid: 76586Chapter: 1
Great story, amazing emotion! Thanks for the clarification, too - I was not quite sure what to think so I went to comments to see if there was one - and there it was!

Reviewer: MincotDate: 2004-03-30
Reviewid: 76437Chapter: 1
Oh, thanks for all the kind words from everyone who has reviewed! I did want to comment about the Snape issue--I *knew* I should have signposted that more, but I was relying too much on people's knowledge of canon and on Dickens.

Of course Snape was not *really* bitten. Just before that snippet, Sirius has made that crack about Dickens--"Unless you have Ignorance and Want hidden under your robes, we're about done." If you remember "A Christmas Carol," Scrooge thinks he has learnt from the Ghost of Christmas Present--but he hasn't, really, and not only is there another Ghost yet to come, but the Ghost of Christmas Present has the two ragged, scrawny, SCARY children, Ignorance and Want, hidden under his sumptuous robes, hidden away as society hides them and tries to ignore them.

Basically, Sirius has understood his likeness to his family intellectually, but not emotionally--and, like the Ghost of Christmas Present, with the children, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, with the vision of Scrooge's death, the Knight makes Sirius realize his issue EMOTIONALLY, in the only terms Sirius will really understand: the possible consequences for Remus AND for Snape. Even then, Sirius wonders--remember, he thinks that this was the only scene that he did not remember (because it was a what-if, not an actual occurrence; a vision, like that of the third Ghost). He also wonders about the vision's reality when he thinks about consequences--he would have been sacked, Remus expelled or worse, and Snape would have shown SOME signs ... but then he gets so caught up in the emotional reality of what he could have done that he forgets to question. It's that "What if" scene that, for me at least, lies beneath his desire to leave his family and move in with the Potters.

However, I'm sorry--when two bright people misunderstand part of a story, that means I need as a writer to make it clearer--thanks for the catch. I should have added something like this:

<i>"And it’s true. I used Remus to hurt Snape without ever thinking about what it would mean for Remus … or Severus.” His voice caught. "At the last ... what I saw in the hospital wing ... that wasn't ... " He stopped, unable to complete the sentence.

Dumbledore looked at Sirius, his face sombre. “The Knight’s mirror is accurate, Sirius, but what it shows you can be merciless. It strips away all illusions, but also all mitigating factors. It does not reflect age, or maturity … or compassion. The Knight's mirror can also, as it did with Severus, show you the truth of what could easily have happened--an emotional truth, if you will. ” Dumbledore peered at Sirius through his half-moon spectacles. His eyes were not twinkling, as they so often were, but neither did Sirius see the weary disappointment that had haunted him for the last two months. Instead he found himself feeling somewhat comforted." </i>

Does that help :) ?

Reviewer: SweetSiriusDate: 2004-03-30
Reviewid: 76423Chapter: 1
Mincot! Oh hurrah! I was so very excited to see an update from you - your Sirius is one of my very favourite depictions.

As expected, this was a wonderful fic - you write with such purpose and sensitivity, and in a way that makes me want to read more and more. I really did like your depiction of the aftermath of The Prank - it's something I've been dying to find out about in canon, but this is a really touching adaptation - there's a great sense of Sirius fighting with himself all the way. You always manage to put him into a completely believable skin, without making him too extreme one way or the other. I loved the hints at his conversation with Dumbledore, which were able to show Sirius' relationship with the old wizard in a very moving light.

I didn't agree with the idea that Snape got bitten, as too many instances in Canon disprove it, but it's still a great piece of writing. The revelations about Peter and Remus were also wonderful, and a great use of technique in the flashbacks. I also loved your metaphor through the recorder.

Very nice, glad to see you back!

~SweetSirius~

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-03-30
Reviewid: 76402Chapter: 1
I've noticed that this SQ update, there've been a lot of good Sirius fics...anyway, this was excellent. The scenes where Sirius is comparing himself to his family are touching and moving. A believable account of how Sirius started to mature, and the aftermath of The Prank.

-Linnet

Reviewer: godricshollowDate: 2004-03-29
Reviewid: 76311Chapter: 1
That was really, really good! I'm very impressed. Your story even caused me to take my own actions into consideration. I think that everyone can relate to your story, and you still kept it in canon and you're good writer! Plus, I loved that you added music into it. Sirius plays the recorder... who knew!?

Reviewer: SamDate: 2004-03-29
Reviewid: 76297Chapter: 1
wonderful!
However, I do find the bit about Snape being a werewolf confusing. He's not absent from class or anythign- and he filled in for Lupin during the full moon. wheres the evidence? Or did i just miss something that said it was a theory made up by the mirror- a possible ending for Sirius's actions? Please clear this up! Thanks!
Brilliant story.

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