The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)

Forums

Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 98

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-01-10
Reviewid: 138278Chapter: 20
Overall I quite enjoyed your story. Thank you very much.
There were four points though that I thought could have improved it slightly.
1st You had a nice running escape scene where no one seemed to remember that they were wizards and therefore never even once considered disapparating.
2nd Why did Snape not try to get his mother out of Azkaban? Not even after his father was discredited. A bit odd, no?
3rd You really overused “The hook-nosed young man”. Do you really see Snape as thinking of himself this way? It’s a good thing this story isn’t about Susan, the flat chested young woman.
4th This is not an error to yourself, but to many fanfic authors. Do you think muggles are better than wizards? Many must as they are usually written as wizards & Muggles. I am aware that our J. K. goddess Rowlings also does this, but she is allowed. You and I are but human; well I am anyway.
Anywho - - - A lovely tale.

Reviewer: AriDate: 2005-06-10
Reviewid: 123566Chapter: 20
THIS IS AN AMAZINGLY WELL WRITEN PIECE OF WORK, EVERYTHING IN THE STORY FITS PERFECTLY. I AM AMAZED WIT YOUR CREATIVITY IN DESCRIBBES SEVERUS' PAST. IT MAKES U SEE FROM AN INTIRLEY DIFFERENT VIEW. ITS REALLY REALLY GOOD. KEEP WRITING!!

Reviewer: aylaDate: 2005-06-04
Reviewid: 123286Chapter: 20
I greatly enjoyed this saga that you created Daphne. Such wonderful story telling. You had me at the edge of my seat, gasping and growling in all the right places. I am impressed ;D Keep up the great work! :D

I am a waiting anxiously for more of your tales! :D

Reviewer: Ignorant BlissDate: 2005-06-02
Reviewid: 123196Chapter: 20
I just discovered this wonderful story. I want you to know how much I enjoyed your well thought out, and plotted story. Your dialog was credible, and your chain of events was believable. Thank-you.

Reviewer: TashaDate: 2005-05-15
Reviewid: 122096Chapter: 20
Wow! What a GREAT Fic!

You've done a remarkable portrait of "the Potions Master as a Young Man"--exactly as you set out to do. The timing is good as JKR will get around to clearing these mysteries up at some point on her own terms. When she does your story will rival if not mirror what she has in mind, at least for me, because you have remained so carefully close to canonical fact.

Your development of the relationship between Darius and Severus is telling. I loved the short and tragic tale of Circe, her love for her son, and the continued impact of her care in his life as in his marriage and ultimate denunciation of the Dark Lord.

His relationship with James Potter convinces from the very first day to the long-awaited depiction of the night the marauders went too far. The ramifications of James Potter as Head Boy are explored by a conflicted Hogwarts Headmaster having second thoughts. In a cool parallel, and climax to the story, Severus repays this onus by revealing the true deatheater target, too late, and answering the JKR's teaser of how Dumbledore managed to get to Harry so soon.

Your plausible justification of the precarious status Snape enjoys as a trusted counter-spy for both sides is the final and possibly most satisfying climax. Darius' trial and the meeting with Lucius convincing clears up one of the most persistent mysteries keeping so many so deeply engaged in JKR's work.

I admit that the scene in the delightfully named Churlish Boor DID bother me because of the apparation/disapparation conflict. JKR certainly DOESN'T just let everyone apparate away when they need to conveniently escape, but she DOES manage to find ways to develop her fight scenes that prevent a conflict--that's why Hogwarts has the feature of NOT being suitable for apparation. Her characters can't apparate with children either which might explain why James and Lily don't just apparate away from Goderic's Hollow. (Isn't there a remark somewhere about the need for a family vehicle/magic carpet.)
I wonder what device would have worked in your chase scene? Maybe they could have thrown some kind of potion over Snape and Rosier at the bar that prevents their apparating? Or maybe put it in their drinks? Less convincingly they might have put a temporary charm around Knockturn alley or something--but if that were possible it opens up other problems. Maybe they could somehow have been bugged or tagged such that they could be traced to other locations as well? You could even have portrayed their horror at discovering their loss of apparative abilities...it would have been fittingly ironic if a potion or poison had somehow temporarily incapacitated Snape and Rosier--leading to Rosier's death, and Snape's unworthy escape of it.

The interplay between Rosier and Snape, their banter at school, their slow comprehension of the horrors of servitude, the murder of Regulus, the brave death of Rosier and his last words to Severus were among the most telling in your story. It would be worth brainstorming a solution to this one inconsistency.

The death of Regulus gave me bad dreams!! That Jane and Baby were buried in the catacombs seemed a fitting contrast--showing very different ways of caring for the dead and living in the world of the dark and the light.

Thanks so much for so many hours of enjoyment! Best wishes in your writing future!

Tasha

Reviewer: AprilDate: 2005-05-14
Reviewid: 122065Chapter: 20
Cool! Two places I can find this wonderful story! I've left a review elsewhere (antother excellent chapter) but for those who check out the reviews before reading: read this story. You're in for a treat, for this is a well-crafted gem!

Reviewer: LisaDate: 2005-05-11
Reviewid: 121853Chapter: 20
Wow, good story! Such insight & thoughtfulness & well worded! I really enjoyed it. It really made me see Snape in a whole new light. Thank you!

Reviewer: saraDate: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121844Chapter: 20
I happened to find your story today and had to finish it as fast as I could because I liked it really very much - your story fits quite well and you give a very plausible and impressive description of the young Snape's life. Your sight of his motions becoming a death eater and a spy is the best I've ever found! Thanks a lot for writing so very well.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121807Chapter: 20
Excellent chapter. It's a great ending to such a great story. I loved the exchange between Darius and Severus, I loved Darius being crestfallen for once in his life, I loved Lucius Malfoy's stupid arrogance, I loved Dumbledore's typical manipulativeness, I loved the interaction between Lockhart and Snape (shampoo brewing in Snape's class! Hilarious!), and I loved very much the end, about students discovering the tomb and getting a bit of respect for Snape.

Thank you very much for writing this story. I has been an enlightening read.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121804Chapter: 19
And another great chapter. It's very interesting to read about those events from Snape's point of view. And I love the details you throw in, like Dumbledore's inconspicious Muggle disguise. ;-)

I'm not sure I agree with the first part of this chapter, though. Wouldn't Voldemort have wondered how Snape got free? Death Eaters aren't regularly released from Azkaban. And if Snape had told him Dumbledore trusted him and got him out, Voldemort wouldn't have been happy either, since Severus had never told him about being close to Dumbledore before.

So I don't really understand that. But the rest of the chapter is great. I'm in awe of the first paragraph, your description of Azkaban. The last part, with Snape risking his own life by saving James (well, he doesn't succeed, but he tried) is excellent as well.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121803Chapter: 18
It's rather stupid of Severus to stay there, isn't it? It says a lot about how he changed from a harsh, cold Death Eater to someone who actually cares about killings, who actually has emotions, even though, as you said so well in the previous chapter, his heart is dead.

So now he is in Azkaban. With his mother. That last part was heart-breaking. Probably the only reason why Circe is still sane is because she can think of her son, out there, still alive. And now he's in Azkaban. That's so sad. And yet she still loves him, I'm sure of it.

I'm quickly off to the next chapter to read on about this! It's very fascinating.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121801Chapter: 17
I don't know how I managed to miss three updates before I finally saw this one. Or did you update four chapters at once? In any case, I'll read them all now.

This chapter is great. And sad. I'm still angry with you for killing off Jane, although I suppose it would have been a stretch to have her be alive during canon, not to mention that Snape wouldn't have been such a bitter person if she had.

But it's so sad that Severus has to bury his wife and unborn child. It's so unfair.

At least it made him turn away from the Death Eaters, and maybe something good will come from that.

I liked Alastor's role in this chapter, although I found it slightly out of character that he didn't draw his wand right away. It doesn't really make sense for him to start shouting that Snape is a Death Eater without cursing him or even preparing to defend himself.

But otherwise, your Moody is great. As is Dumbledore, and maybe the Potters too -- will we see more of them? I'm off to read the next chapter right away!

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-05-10
Reviewid: 121759Chapter: 20
Congrats on completing your first full-length fic!

So the war is over. Severus severs the bonds between himself and his father. Dumbledore vouches for Sev, and we see that it's because he didn't betray Lupin's secret that the headmaster trusts him. We see why Sev wants to teach DADA, and we also see why Dumbledore is reluctant to give him the job. And that was interesting, Snape's opinion of Lockhart.

Re: Lockhart's age, I notice that Grace has Victory, in the Dates and Ages thread, puts Lockhart a few years older than Snape. But you're right, not every wizard can be the same age as the Marauders. (I've even read a fic where McGonagall was actually the same age as the Marauders!) Meanwhile, Lockhart as a Hufflepuff is a fairly common theory.

Overall, your fic shows us why Snape is Snape. I loved your fic from beginning to end. Keep up the good work and I hope you'll write again in the future.

Oh, and you deserve a Dancin' Remus for finishing the fic before HBP!

Reviewer: JamesDate: 2005-03-24
Reviewid: 117641Chapter: 18
Holy Crud. I mean, HOLY CRUD. This is good. It gave me a perspective of Snape; oh the self loathing. Ho- erm... anyway, this made me cry, snicker, smile etc. It is g-o-o-d.

Reviewer: childoftheseventhsinDate: 2005-03-24
Reviewid: 117592Chapter: 1
Wow! I never thought I'd feel so sorry for Severus Snape, nor did I think I'd cry while reading this story. But I was wrong on both counts. I can't wait to read more.
I have noticed that you use the phrase 'he/she was loath' quite a lot, and I'm not critisizing you for that, just wanting to get credit for noticing! Thanks for keeping me entertained!

Reviewer: BabebunnyDate: 2005-03-24
Reviewid: 117579Chapter: 1
Good Chappy

Reviewer: kaciDate: 2005-03-24
Reviewid: 117577Chapter: 18
i cried from chapters 14 till 17 its a really good story cant wait to see wat happens next

Reviewer: BrackenDate: 2005-03-24
Reviewid: 117543Chapter: 18
Finally! This is the story that got me addicted to Sugarquill! I am so happy that you are still working on it--I thought maybe you had abandoned it! Keep up the great writing. This is a wonderful prequel.
Liz

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-03-23
Reviewid: 117453Chapter: 18
Yippee! Two new chappies!

I like your theories that you come up in this fic. We finally learn why Dumbledore trusts Snape, and also the beginning of Moody's strong disdain for Snape. So Moody is the one who puts Snape in Azkaban. What a sad scene that was at the end, Snape seeing his mother incarcerated. She had sacrificed herself to keep him free, and it was all in vain. Of course, we know that Snape will convince the Wizengamot to set him free, but still, the final scene of this chapter was still sentimental. Finally, we learn how Harry's grandparents die.

One question I have. Was Arthur Weasley actually in the Order during the First War? It was discussed here at the 'Quill, and IIRC the general consensus was that he wasn't.

Both chapters were very good. I can't wait for you to update again.

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2005-03-23
Reviewid: 117447Chapter: 18
Oh boy! I can read this in several places now! :)

Reviewer: CatpowerDate: 2005-02-26
Reviewid: 115018Chapter: 1
I've just discovered this site and have NEVER read any fan fiction before. This has been a great introduction to fan fiction. I am so impressed. I found the whole story moving and so gripping that it kept me away from urgent work I should have been doing for hours! Snape's probably my favourite character after Harry and Ron and I've often speculated things about him.

I love the fact that there is a realistic amount of sex in the story and that it is intensely romantic. I fully understand why JK Rowling can't include so much but I often wish it was there :) And Severus is a bit of a fantasy figure for me, as well. I can see exactly why Jane goes for him - there's something exciting about being the only object of affection to a man who is so exacting and critical about everyone else.

By the way, my partner's got long greasy hair and a big nose and I find it quite endearing! (Bet you're sniggering at me now!)

Thanks a lot for entertaining me enormously this afternoon.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-02-22
Reviewid: 114637Chapter: 16
And another amazing chapter. I can see why Dumbledore decided to believe Severus. The only thing I'm wondering about is what Dumbledore meant with his "choice", seeing as he apparently hadn't thought of the option of spying or otherwise working with the Order of the Phoenix.

You've written Severus's distress and determination very well in this chapter. You're an amazingly good writer. Right now, I'm in half a mind to send a letter to JK Rowling asking her to read this story, because somehow my mind can't accept any other backstory for Severus Snape now. This must be what happened.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-02-22
Reviewid: 114636Chapter: 15
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
You killed her!
:-(

I almost stopped reading this chapter halfway, not because it was badly written (rather the contrary), but because I couldn't stand to read about Severus walking through the street where the raid was taking place. I convinced myself to read on, though, and just skipped some of the descriptions, because they were wrenching my soul.

The last part of the chapter, however, I read very slowly. I think I was hoping that by reading slowly, Jane wouldn't die. But she did, and she didn't wake up. The positive thing is that Severus will now probably return to the good side, but I'd much rather had that he hadn't needed to go through all this.

Jane is dead. I can't really wrap my mind around it yet. I would never have thought that I would feel *so* sorry for Snape.

:-(

I'm off to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-02-18
Reviewid: 114212Chapter: 16
Ahhh! We finally learn why Dumbledore trusts Snape. I know that JKR won't tell us why, but your reason is as good as any. Severus shows the headmaster that he can be trusted in this chapter -- since, as you mention, he kept Lupin's secret.

I have enjoyed your story and am in awe of the ingenuity you've shown in coming up with the story of why Snape is the way he is. Of course, I look forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Norwegian BlueDate: 2005-02-16
Reviewid: 114056Chapter: 2
Excllent. Snape isn't so harsh as he is when he is older , yet he is really in character, especially when his mother is asking him if he wants to go on holiday and he wishes that she would be honest with him. Well done.

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-02-11
Reviewid: 113507Chapter: 15
Uhhh, please check your word-wrap again for the newest chapter. Glad to see you fixed the formatting on the earlier chapters.

What a sad chapter. Snape has always been torn between his loyalty to Voldemort and loyalty to his family, and in the end, he loses his wife and unborn child. Surely Snape has learned a bitter lesson which will surely factor in his eventual decision to leave Voldemort.

Needless to say, I look forward to reading the next chapter.

Reviewer: AnneDate: 2005-02-08
Reviewid: 113219Chapter: 14
Wow! I love your fanfiction!

I've not seen many that I liked, at least about Severus Snape. Your's is very good.

The only question I have is about Jane and the baby. Is this part of an AU, or are you going to make it fit in with the canon later?
~A

Reviewer: RachelDate: 2005-02-08
Reviewid: 113208Chapter: 14
Well, I;ve always thought of number 13 as bad luck, but this chapter (though it holds its misfortunes) helps Snape to turn over a new leaf. I cannot wait to see what happens....but I'm scared also. There is no wife or child that is EVER mentioned in Hogwarts or surrounding Snape. So I must believe that they may not be in his life for ever.
Beside that point though, I really love your feel of his character. You have good writting skills, and have analyzed who SNAPE is so well. I love how you tied Moody into this last chapter too. Giving him a reason to mistrust the man during Goblemt of Fire. Cudos!

Reviewer: KayDate: 2005-02-06
Reviewid: 113141Chapter: 14
I love it! You did a great job, and now I see Snape in a different light. I can't wait to read more and find out about Jane and the baby. What happens?! Keep up the good work- Kay

Reviewer: moonetteDate: 2005-01-29
Reviewid: 112374Chapter: 4
I just started this story a few days ago and have to say I am completely impressed. Snape is a prominent character in a story I'm currently working on, and I love the history you and given him thus far. Your story is rich in detail but never overdone, and it flows so nicely. It is obvious there was much careful planning in your plot, and I can't wait to see how this unfolds. The windows you give into the magical world and the Death Eaters are fascinating. Nice job.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-01-27
Reviewid: 112241Chapter: 14
Well, this chapter looks a bit odd; I'm sure you've noticed. I managed to read it, though, by copying the text into Notepad. Writing a review is yet another challenge this way, but I think I'll manage.

This chapter is just as great as the previous ones. I'm glad Snape didn't get caught; he didn't walk away forever; and that Jane waited for him. Jane is such a wonderful person, and she must have such a horrible night. It almost brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. Anyway, I'm glad that Snape and Jane are still together and the child is still there, but I don't dare to hope yet that that situation remains that way. After all, there's no mention in the books of a small Snape of about Harry's age. It could be Harry's ignorance, of course...

One thing, however, that is really unbelievable, is: why didn't Rosier Disapparate somewhere during the attempt to escape? He could have Disapparated at almost any time, and most especially when they were cornered by the Aurors. You wrote a very chilling action scene, but I couldn't help but wonder the entire time why they didn't Disapparate.

Otherwise, amazing chapter. I can't wait for the next one.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-01-27
Reviewid: 112238Chapter: 12
You write *so* well, it's amazing. You pull me into the story and don't let me go any more. I had never expected to be able to sympathise so much with Snape. But you write it so realistically, so heartbreaking. Of course, I had known from the start that Severus would end up as a Death Eater at one point, but - well, I don't think I expected you to write it so lively.

I hope that Severus will be able to remain with Jane. We don't know from canon whether he has a wife - I know one other fan fic in which he has. So please let him stay with Jane. He's going to be devastated if Jane leaves him, and so will I.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2005-01-27
Reviewid: 112237Chapter: 11
A scary chapter, especially the end. But very well-written. I don't have much to say, except that my heart hurts for Snape. Life is really, really unfair for him.

I'm off to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Julien MaremanDate: 2005-01-26
Reviewid: 112167Chapter: 2
I really liked chapter one. It is very well writen. I imagined Severus's father less violent than that, however. I just imagined Severus and Severus's mother like that. I find strange, all the same to see Severus say "Darius" when speaking about his father. He could say "dad" or "daddy" or "my father".

Reviewer: Three Sickles ShortDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112079Chapter: 13
This is actually a question about chapter 13/14 (I think there's a numbering error somewhere--the chapter where a friend of Snape's [see me not spoiling in the review] dies in a fight with the Aurors). The question: Why didn't Snape and said friend Disapparate at some point during the chase? I kept waiting for them to do it -- or for an explanation of why they didn't -- but they just kept running. Is there some sort of anti-Apparation spell on Knockturn Alley?

Aside from that kind of confusing point, I'm enjoying this story.

Looking forward to the next chapter,

TSS

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112046Chapter: 14
Wow, three chapters in one update! Of course we the readers are delighted when an author gives us three chapters. But I do have a few criticisms to make:

1. You posted Chapter 12 twice.
2. Chapter 10 is now gone. I suspect that 1. and 2. are the same error -- namely, confusion with the way the 'Quill labels chapters:

http://www.sugarquill.net/read.php?storyid=1943&chapno=1 is the Prologue
http://www.sugarquill.net/read.php?storyid=1943&chapno=2 is Chapter 1, not Ch. 2, etc.

This is sometimes why I dislike prologues -- they mess up the chapter numbering. (If only the 'Quill would let writers have chapno=0!)

3. The formatting on Chapter 13 is bad. For some reason, the chapter didn't upload with word-wrap and thus enough line-breaks. As a reader, this makes the fics more difficult to read.

So we the readers would appreciate it if you would please fix the errors with these chapters.

Now as for the fic itself, the three chapters you added were wonderful! Let me comment on each chapter separately:

Ch. 11: So Snape gets a "P" on his DADA NEWT! No wonder Dumbledore doesn't want Snape to teach DADA. I like how you propose Darius's disappointment over his son's NEWT score as the reason Severus seeks out Voldemort.

Ch. 12: Canon doesn't tell us how Regulus Black died. Interesting how you have Snape indirectly responsible for Regulus's death. He is beginning to regret joining the Death Eaters.

Ch. 13: We see that Snape, unless most Death Eaters, values his family's lives over his own. Now that he has something to live for, the seeds are planted for him to return to Dumbledore.

I can't wait for the next chapter. I suspect that something will happen to the baby, since Snape obviously doesn't have a child currently at Hogwarts -- or does he?

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2005-01-12
Reviewid: 110648Chapter: 11
As Snape's birthday passed a few days ago, I found a few Snape fics to recommend on the Snape thread. And I can't believe that I forgot to mention yours!

Your fic is still one of my favorite Snape fics. As I stated earlier, it's interesting to read fics with much of this back story filled in, here with Snape's reaction to his life debt to James. And of course I enjoyed your rendition of the prank.

Naturally I am eager to read the next chapter. Hey, I wonder whether you'll find a way to mention Snape's January birthday in a forthcoming chapter!

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-12-02
Reviewid: 106681Chapter: 10
I'm in a hurry, so this is going to be short. Awesome chapter, very compelling in the middle, but not so compelling at the start and the end. But the title of the chapter kept me interested & reading anyway.

Few canon errors: I think Thestrals is supposed to be with capital T; you spelled Petrificus Totalus wrong, and besides, that's *not* the incantation of petrifying: that Stupefy.

But those are details. Great chapter anyway! I loved reading about the Whomping Willow thing from Snape POV. I think you did it very realistically.

Reviewer: AdrienneDate: 2004-11-26
Reviewid: 106030Chapter: 10
I really enjoy how little pieces from earlier in the story turn out to play larger and more complicated roles in Snape's life. Snape finding common ground with Lupin via a few bent rules would be a compelling reason for him to keep quiet, even about something as drastic as Lupin being a werewolf. Thank you for updating, this has greatly improved what was previously a less than satisfactory thanksgiving :) .

Reviewer: Ana SnapeDate: 2004-11-25
Reviewid: 105900Chapter: 4
Im loving it!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Melyssa SnapeDate: 2004-11-23
Reviewid: 105744Chapter: 1
Double you-oh-double you.....its that simple

Reviewer: SteiveDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102192Chapter: 9
Wow! You're an amazing writer... I love the way you've taken the tiny little bits of Severus' past that we've seen in canon and wrote them seamlessly into your fic! Keep up the awesome work, I am so anxious to see the Prank scene...

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-09-26
Reviewid: 99437Chapter: 9
Another great chapter. I'm glad you didn't write out in detail the scene we already saw in the Pensieve. I have one comment, though. It's about this paragraph:

>>Of course, the ease of his Defense Against the Dark Arts exam was of little comfort to Severus now. The glory of the afternoon was shattered by the fact that shortly after he’d stepped into the courtyard, James Potter and Sirius Black had disarmed him and subjected him to a series of jinxes and humiliations. It had begun with the Impediment Curse; a flash later found him dangling upside down in midair, robes drooping down to his chin rather than his ankles; next was a body bind, and – thanks largely to the interference of that obnoxious Mudblood Lily Evans – he was now dangling upside down once more.<<

Would Severus really be thinking calmly and reasonably about what had happened after the OWL? I think he has more urgent matters on his mind, hanging upside down in the air. A different way of introducing the scene might have been better.

I feel very sorry for Jane. Severus just keeps being rude to her, and I'm afraid there's going to be a moment that Jane has had enough of it. Also, even while Severus fancies her, he finds his studies more important. Ouch, that might just not go over with Jane very well.

Looking forward to the next chapter very much. I feel we're getting close to what is possibly the most important event: The Prank. I can't wait to see what you make of that. I've seen various and very different versions from the Marauders' POV, but I've never seen one from Snape's POV. I'm sure you will do it brilliantly.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-09-26
Reviewid: 99435Chapter: 8
I somehow managed to miss this chapter when it was updated. Sorry 'bout that. :)

I've remarked before how you manage to let Severus take a step down the road towards his Death Eatership in every chapter very realistically. Now, however, he seems to take a step back. The unwavering confidence Jane has in him is undoubtedly doing him good, and his resolve to be at least like his father as possible seems to take him away from the Death Eaters rather than towards it. Curious, but nice. I'm just dreading the moment that he will fall down again...

I love the scene with Sirius Black and Jane. However, I thought that Sirius' intervention came a bit out of the blue. Jane didn't seem to be disturbed by Severus' outburst at all, and some time already seemed to have elapsed since it, so it doesn't really make sense that Sirius is stepping in in that way.

However, I love every other bit of that scene. And this line is just brilliant:
>>Severus only scowled at the potion, which was simmering happily now, in a perturbed silence.<<

Reviewer: ZaraDate: 2004-09-24
Reviewid: 99208Chapter: 9
Great! Cant wate till the next chapter.. poor poor Zoe.... Im rwealy sacred for her

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2004-08-19
Reviewid: 97889Chapter: 8
With all this discussion about Snape and his role in HBP (Jo refusing to confirm that he's pure-blood), I was in the mood to read a Snape fic and found yours.

It's very good so far! I can't wait until you get to the Prank!

Reviewer: KatiejuneDate: 2004-08-16
Reviewid: 97479Chapter: 8
I have continued to enjoy this story although I have not always posted to tell you so. Thank you, I look forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: BeatriceDate: 2004-08-15
Reviewid: 97348Chapter: 8
Oh, how cute! Severus has a crush! ^_^

Reviewer: ZaraDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94414Chapter: 7
wow! another fine insament and a subube and betuiful ending

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94382Chapter: 7
Great chapter. I like the way you zoom into a few events in Severus' life, making very clear exactly how his mind works and why it works that way. In this chapter, you also wrote the interaction between the group of Slytherins very well.

It's unfortunate that Snape will choose the wrong path, and it's clear in your story that that moment is coming closer and closer. However, this chapter also gives hope and reasons why Snape will at last return to the light side.

Great job. I can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: Jenny LimDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94342Chapter: 2
wikked wizards? based on the "book of wikked wives" in chaucer's wife of bath's prologue and tale?? hehehe, im studying that at school....just kinda jumped out at me lol.
anyway about ur fic...it's so sad!!! ever since reading that bit about harry seeing snape's memories of childhoos i've felt so sorry for snape...your fic encapsulates it perfectly! well done.

Reviewer: MelissaDate: 2004-07-08
Reviewid: 91293Chapter: 6
God.. You just broke my heart ! In a good way, that.

So much emotion, it was almost as if i was there.
From those few sights we got of Severus' past you managed to make a whole, beautifull story.

May Severus be the inspiration of your works for many many years !

Reviewer: justinDate: 2004-07-07
Reviewid: 91134Chapter: 6
ogg was the caretaker at the time of severus' education at hogwarts, not filch. it says it somewhere in book four, i believe.

Reviewer: AdrienneDate: 2004-07-07
Reviewid: 91073Chapter: 6
I just thought I should point out that anyone who is willing to condemn an entire genre of writing (in this case "women's magazines") because of an assumed style within that genre usually isn't the best person from whom to take advice. On that turn, I hope those comments by I.W. haven't had an impact on what you think of your story and how you conduct your prose. I read a lot of Snape fics, and I really admire the effort it takes to try and construct his background, because there are only bits and pieces from Rowling's work that give any firm idea of his childhood. I guess I'm essentially applauding you for using your imagaination to create your own work instead of scoffing at someone else's writing style. That said, please continue this story, I've been more than entertained by it.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-07-05
Reviewid: 90774Chapter: 6
Let's start off with this quote:
>>And as Severus flew, he felt peace: he could almost forget the woes that rested on the ground beneath him – could almost forget the way Darius leered at him or James Potter ridiculed him. <<
Poor Severus. He just summed up his own miserable life in one sentence. Luckily he has Jane who cares about him, but that doesn't help him into the Quidditch team, again because James got in his way.

Of course, Severus is biased against James, which shows especially in his opinion of the Quidditch match, but he does have reason to hate him.

Somehow, each new chapter of your fic always makes me feel very sorry for Severus. I can't put my finger on what exactly makes you have this power over me, but I do know that it means that you're a good writer.

Reviewer: ZaraDate: 2004-07-05
Reviewid: 90706Chapter: 6
Oh......... *bnrilant*

Reviewer: Sans nomDate: 2004-07-01
Reviewid: 90060Chapter: 5
Daphne -- I noticed you haven't updated the story as often as you usually do. I hope you're not letting I.W.'s review get you down because I, for one (and I know I'm not alone here), strongly disagree with those comments. I think your writing's perfect -- it's expressive and elegant. You must be a professional writer, no? If not, you must have at least studied language. Furthermore, this is the most realistic and thoughtful Snape fic I've come across yet -- fantastic and subtle interweaving of canon. I truly hope we'll see more! :-)

Reviewer: Nymphadora GreyDate: 2004-06-08
Reviewid: 86347Chapter: 1
You made me like Severus Snape...if that isn't saying something...nothing else I write will..Absolutely Brilliant

Reviewer: Igenlode WordsmithDate: 2004-06-08
Reviewid: 86318Chapter: 3
Oh dear. I seem to be in a very small minority here - but I simply can't see past the writing style of these chapters to reach the merit everyone else seems to see in them :-(
This is bodice-ripper-level writing - if I say it reminds me all too vividly of 'Passionate Trousers' I'm afraid it will become immediately obvious what I've just been reading... "The term of endearment had been spat sarcastically, and Circe froze in the foyer of the cottage, not daring to face the man who had spoken, for she would have recognised his cruel and condescending cadence anywhere" - this is women's-magazine stuff. It's verging on the unintentionally humorous :-(
I simply can't judge the merits of the story because the prose irks me so intensely; my instinctive reaction is that it's no good, but a lot of other people seem to think otherwise :-)

Reviewer: KittenmommyDate: 2004-06-05
Reviewid: 85991Chapter: 5
Great story! Will there be more?

Reviewer: HannahDate: 2004-06-04
Reviewid: 85966Chapter: 5
This story was fascinating! Just the right amount of sentimentality to be convincing, but not too much. This is exactly the sort of childhood I pictured for Snape, and the part that took place in in Italy was a nice touch. Please write a sequel!

Reviewer: The Eighth WeasleyDate: 2004-06-04
Reviewid: 85939Chapter: 5
very nice chapter. Again, you paint an incredibly real picture of the boy Severus might have been.

Reviewer: KatiejuneDate: 2004-06-04
Reviewid: 85938Chapter: 5
Another great chapter in a story that just keeps getting better. I look forward to this story and look at the New Fics list to look for additions whenever I am online. I love it.

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-06-04
Reviewid: 85895Chapter: 5
Yay, he's at Hogwarts now! I love your McGonagall, she's really perfect.

-Linnet

(I really seem to be giving a lot of short reviews lately.)

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2004-06-04
Reviewid: 85889Chapter: 5
This continues to be one of my favorite stories! Excellent work that ties in well with the little canon we have concerning Snape's childhood and relationships.

Thank you!

Reviewer: BeatriceDate: 2004-06-04
Reviewid: 85874Chapter: 5
Wow, this story makes me sympathize with Snape! SNAPE, of all people! But, really, this is quite an interesting story and I can't wait for the next chapter.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-06-03
Reviewid: 85828Chapter: 5
Poor Severus -- yeah, I've said that before, I know. But life is *so* hard for him, it's just impossible not to feel sorry for him.

Great chapter, again. Except one thing: I doubt that Minerva McGonagall would ever tell a first-year, in the first week of Hogwarts at that, that he's appalling bad in Transfiguration. It's like the later Snape to do such a thing, not like McGonagall.

However, the rest of McGonagall was perfectly in character, and I really loved reading this chapter. Poor Severus, though...

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2004-06-03
Reviewid: 85821Chapter: 5
I was so impressed by your thoughtful weaving of the future into this chapter, most notably, the relationship that Snape and McGonagall seem to have as adults. You did a great job of establishing the enmity between Sirius and Severus and James and Severus. I can see the insights of OoP in here too. I'm interested to see how he interacts with Remus and Peter.

Reviewer: abbyDate: 2004-06-03
Reviewid: 85769Chapter: 5
These stories are the best I've ever heard. Keep doing what you do and I can't wait for the next one!

Reviewer: BeakerDate: 2004-05-28
Reviewid: 84995Chapter: 4
Brilliant! I was wondering how Snape came to embrace the Dark Arts in spite of hating his father, and you have a completely plausible explanation that grows right out of the circumstances in the first few chapters. Chilling, the fact that Tom Riddle gives him his first compliment since his mother was hauled away--and yes, it's too bad. But these are just the types of things that will bind a child to those he hates. I wonder if they (Darius, Tom, etc.) realize that and are doing it deliberately.

Very well thought out, and well written.

Reviewer: ReneeDate: 2004-05-26
Reviewid: 84625Chapter: 4
This is probably the best Snape-centric fic I've read. Not only is the story itself interesting, it's just very well written. I'm very much looking forward to more!

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2004-05-26
Reviewid: 84592Chapter: 4
Another great chapter. I was touched by Severus's memories of his mother. I think you've done a good job of cataloguing the abuse and the aftermath--the changes in Severus's personality. I guess he did have to learn to defend himself from his father. I'm really interested to see how his life changes at Hogwarts and what seeds Dumbledore manages to plant in him that will save him later.

Reviewer: The Eighth WeasleyDate: 2004-05-26
Reviewid: 84580Chapter: 4
I love the way you've managed to explain Severus' obvious position of "nobility" in the pureblooded world while incorporating the memories that Harry saw during Occlumency. It's very believable, and very well-written. I look forward to reading more.

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84545Chapter: 4
Great chapter! Ooh, I really feel sorry for poor Snape now.

-Linnet

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84467Chapter: 4
I think I've said before that I felt sorry for Severus, and I still do. Even though Severus knows that his mother, the Light witch, was much nicer than his father, the Dark Wizard, and that he shouldn't learn Dark spells, he is still influenced by his father. Maybe everything would've turned out all right if Severus hadn't met Tom Riddle. But seeing as Severus doesn't receive very many compliments from his father, one nice word about his abilities can do so much.

This is a very well-written story, I think I've told you that before as well. It's definitely one of my favourites. It's so extremely canon-true. I also like it that you put sentences in it about what's going to happen later, like this:
>>Unfortunately for Severus Snape, he always did remember Tom Riddle and the fact that this mesmerizing wizard celebrated his abilities.<<

I wonder what's up with Severus wand? How come Ollivander finds the right wand immediately, and why was it in such a tattered box? I hope to find out in the next chapter!

My favourite line from this chapter:
>>To defeat a Dark wizard, one must learn what it meant to be a Dark wizard, after all, and surely, Severus thought, even Circe would not argue with this logic.<<

Reviewer: BeatriceDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84402Chapter: 4
Good stuff! Can't wait to read about little Snape in Hogwarts! Hurry and write the next chapter!

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2004-05-07
Reviewid: 81616Chapter: 3
A wonderfully crafted story! Please continue!

Reviewer: TrishDate: 2004-05-01
Reviewid: 80925Chapter: 3
Great fic! I absolutely loved it. I reccommended that all my friends read it. I honestly and truly like Snape and so I was ecstatic to find a fic that didn't portray him as evil or intirely cruel. You did a great job in explaining his current state. WTG!

Reviewer: BeakerDate: 2004-04-29
Reviewid: 80610Chapter: 3
Intriguing. I'm curious to see how these events help mold a young man intrigued with the dark arts his father embraces, rather than rejecting those arts along with the father. Snape is nothing if not complicated, and you've crafted a suitably complex background for him.

I like your explanation for why Circe cannot use her wand--and the resulting emphasis on potions in training her son.

You've suggested that Snape drinks a lot of firewhiskey as an adult. I'll disagree with this--his behavior in canon does not suggest a person with a drinking problem. Lots of other issues, yes, but not substance abuse.

Looking forward to more!

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2004-04-28
Reviewid: 80534Chapter: 3
I read all three parts in a single sitting. It was like a good book that I didn't want to put down!

You've done a wonderful job of capturing the battle between Circe's upbringing and her maternal instincts. You've also really done a great job of showing how the magical world is inbred and everyone is connected somehow. It would be really hard to escape that background.

Your portrayal of little Severus really broke my heart, especially when he performed the Cruciatus curse on his father. Great moment--you can see how it would be possible for him to go wrong and you could also see the seeds of good his mother planted in him. I liked the idea that Dumbledore was there for this trial. He seems to understand Snape so well and this is a good place to start that connection.

Great story! Thanks.

Reviewer: McGonagall's CatDate: 2004-04-28
Reviewid: 80481Chapter: 3
I should have remarked on each chapter, but it was so good I didn't want to stop until I got to the end. Very nice. Please write more very soon.

Reviewer: KatiejuneDate: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80420Chapter: 3
Wonderful, terrible and disturbing is a great combination! Please keep writing!

Reviewer: Sake1Date: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80363Chapter: 3
I really enjoyed this story. You have to write more! Please or I'll die of woe! ...Not really but I'll be verry sad.

Reviewer: StarlightDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80322Chapter: 3
Tuscan Son=Tuscan Sun, Under the Tuscan Sun! ha ha ha!

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80301Chapter: 3
You're evil. How can you do that to Severus? I know he's supposed to turn out mean and evil, but - but -

Sigh. I think you did a wonderful job constructing Snape's past, and explaining with it why he became a Death Eater, but also why he turned back. You also wrote it quite brilliantly.

But ... I feel so sorry for Severus. And for Circe. I don't know how you can stand writing it, because I almost can't stand reading it...

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-04-13
Reviewid: 78415Chapter: 1
I must admit, I don't read Snape fics very often, but this is by far the best I've ever read. Keep up the good work!

-Linnet

Reviewer: KatieDate: 2004-04-12
Reviewid: 78336Chapter: 2
Wow. The emotion in this story is so real, I am excited and afraid of what might happen to Circe and Snape in Tuscany.
I also loved how you included the back story of Circe, being Olive Hornbys cousin and her reaction to Myrtles death.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-04-12
Reviewid: 78300Chapter: 2
I'm lost for words. I'm staring at this empty review box for minutes. This chapter is so well written, so heart-breaking, so great, so terrible.

It is time that Circe left. But I wonder how Severus ended up with the Death Eaters while he has such a loving mother and despises the unknown politics of his father already. Whatever happens to cause that, I hope Circe has already died by then and doens't need to witness it.

Reviewer: LizDate: 2004-04-12
Reviewid: 78246Chapter: 2
SOOO good! please write more, this is one of the best snape-fics i've read!

Reviewer: That_Snape_GirlDate: 2004-04-08
Reviewid: 77684Chapter: 1
Oh what a lovely story so far! You had better finish it though! Theres tons of Snape Fics out there and none seem to ever finish so plz plz write the rest!

Compliments to ur exquisite(did i spell that right?) work!

Reviewer: TrinketDate: 2004-04-05
Reviewid: 77341Chapter: 1
Good work, Daphne! This was a very well-thought out, well-written piece, and I love the chapter title! I look forward to reading the next chapter; this one had a such a promising end!

Reviewer: DelleveDate: 2004-04-04
Reviewid: 77161Chapter: 1
Oh, wow. The characterisation is absolutely wonderful. I can really see how Circe, Darius, and Snape will evolve to Harry's glimpses in the Pensieve. The emotion of this is just perfect and it's only the prequel!

I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter, which judging from this, will be absolutely mind blowing.

Reviewer: BritDate: 2004-04-02
Reviewid: 76841Chapter: 1
Ah! Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man is my favorite book! Excellent choice of title!

That was a splendid beginning, I can't wait to read more. It is so interesting to see Snape's point of view on things, and I think your father character fits perfectly into the Harry Potter world. Your writing style is very fluid, it's entertaining to read. I look forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: CaitlinDate: 2004-03-31
Reviewid: 76658Chapter: 1
'If need be, she’d give her life to shield her tiny son from harm, from evil, from his own father.'

hmmm...Now, where have I heard something like this before...? ^_^

I really liked this story - it had a wonderful effect. I'm really anxious to read some more of your work! Keep it up!!

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-03-31
Reviewid: 76612Chapter: 1
Wonderful! From this prologue, I can definitely see how the family's relations will develop into the few flashes of Snape's memory we've seen in OotP. In other words: your characterisation is already brilliant.

Your writing is also perfect. I'm not surprised that you're on the Professor's Bookshelf with your first story. It's just perfect.

I'm looking forward to the next chapters!

Reviewer: bDate: 2004-03-31
Reviewid: 76607Chapter: 1
really good i like it alot. even tho im not a mom i think u've captured a mom's feelings really well. can't wait for more

Reviewer: ZaraDate: 2004-03-31
Reviewid: 76564Chapter: 1
A very good prologue. Nice chereter depth. I look foreward to reading the rest of it!

Reviewer: Kate LynnDate: 2004-03-31
Reviewid: 76543Chapter: 1
I must admit, it was the title that drew me in at first. I love Joyce!

The prologue was excellent, though. You've a nice style that I'm enjoying already. I cant wait to see how you develop Snape. Thanks for sharing this.

Kate Lynn

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --