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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Water-horse
Review(s): 69

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-09-11
Reviewid: 145286Chapter: 8
Thai is absolutely fantastic read; a wonderful, highly entertaining tale.
Thank you.

Reviewer: AnyaDate: 2005-09-11
Reviewid: 132279Chapter: 8
I had to review this story a second time because on what must be my sixth reading of it so much more of the storys elegance stands out. The way you've worked in the details of Catriona and Minerva's sisterly rituals and games is beyond elegant. Snape's recollections of why he joined and left the Death Eaters are not only soundly reasoned out, they come across as VERY very real (the passage about testing potions on subjects chilled me a bit, very Himler-esque) and beautifuly described.

Your Snape makes no apologies, and does not ask for pity, which is perfect as far as I'm concerned. We're invited to be as horrified as we like by his motivations and the scenes of human suffering and gore he witnessed and committed, as well as seduced alongside him, and drawn away again by reason and fear. Its wonderful to read a Snape story and say "HEY! thats what I thought too!" to a Snape whos nastiness, petty contempt for students, passionate (but very Slytherin) love of knowledge are in step with the nasty, strained man we see (and adore?) in the books.

Reviewer: SerpantileDate: 2005-07-20
Reviewid: 127433Chapter: 8
I am so sorry that this story doesn't have as many reviews as I think it should have - it is spectacular. One of the best I've read of Harry Potter fanfiction. Your characterization of Snape and McGonagall was perfect; the whole story was intense, emotional and gramatically correct (one or two errors I saw but they don't matter). Thank you for sharing this with us!

Reviewer: After the RainDate: 2005-06-28
Reviewid: 125511Chapter: 8
Oh my, what a creepy, tense story. I was physically shaking by the time you got to the climax, and I think this may be one of the best Snapefics I've ever read; the flashback to his time with the Death Eaters was BRILLIANT.

Reviewer: AbbaDate: 2005-03-29
Reviewid: 118033Chapter: 3
What a fresh reading on Snape's motive for aligning himself with the Death Eaters, as well as the demons which continue to haunt him. I'm only on Chapter Three, but curious to read more...

Reviewer: IssyDate: 2005-02-02
Reviewid: 112709Chapter: 8
I cannot begin to tell you how absolutely TERRIFYING I found this story.

My father's Scottish, and he told me a number of stories about water horses when I was a little girl. I was scared of the Glastyn, petrified by Nuckelavee, but I had nightmares about the Each Uisge for years and years and years. It is a story that has managed to evoke cold terror in me for as long as I can remember - so even before I read the very first sentence, I was quaking in my boots.

And, heaven help me, you did NOT disappoint.

There was a shadowy, subtle horror to the Each Uisge in this story that absolutely chilled me. While there is certainly a psychological element in the original Celtic story of how the Each Uisge stole away Iainh and Caelinh Maghrain and killed their five friends, it was always the physical side of the tale that horrified me more - the idea of the horse stretching to fit seven people on its back, the teeth full of dripping water-weed, the five livers washing up on the shore. Your story was profoundly psychological - the way the Each Uisge could eat away at Snape, McGonagall and Lovell's minds made it truly terrifying. And the fact that you could give the Each Uisge such power and presence within the story without it speaking so much as a word... it gave me shivers. Absolutely amazing writing.

Congratulations. You have given me nightmares.

Reviewer: wee meeDate: 2005-01-20
Reviewid: 111583Chapter: 8
i think it would have been better if you had ended it with snape saying "D'oh!"

Reviewer: wee meeDate: 2005-01-20
Reviewid: 111572Chapter: 2
except that he calls the dark lord by his name, snape is spot-on. i can't believe he's just going to let the kid bleed. and isn't that sort of job the kind of thing that is a punishment?
oh- just wanted to ask- what is mermaid's foot? mermaids don't have feet, by definition, right? wouldn't a mermaid with feet just be a, uh, maid?

Reviewer: AnyaDate: 2005-01-06
Reviewid: 109937Chapter: 8
This story was so elegant, and your writing pulled me into the action and the atmosphere of your story (right down the the definitions at the beginning, which were SO good I actualy tried to google the book names!) But the very best part of this story, is your portrayals of Snape and McGonagall respectively. Snape is especialy well written. Thank you for the wonderful story!

Reviewer: AdrienneDate: 2004-11-26
Reviewid: 106044Chapter: 8
Gah. This is awesome. The chapter detailing what happened to Minerva's sister... SO SCARY! And then a really cruel ending at the end for Snape that was actually kind of funny! All in one story! Also, you have a wonderful grasp of the English language and I love your word choices. You have superb writing skills. Thank you for sharing them here.

Reviewer: AdrienneDate: 2004-11-26
Reviewid: 106038Chapter: 3
I haven't finished reading this yet, but I have to comment. I think your portrayal of Snape looking for glory/vindication through Voldemort's downfall better explains why he hates Harry so much. It's not that Harry resembles his father so much that it reminds Snape of humiliating school days, but that Harry actually took his glory-- man, that's a good reason to hate someone. Excellent!

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-11-22
Reviewid: 105542Chapter: 8
Nice finish! Snape is very Snape and Dumbledore is very Dumbledore. I like the way Snape is sweating out his possible punishment before ALbus has said anything definite. His guilty conscious does him wrong in the end.

I've really enjoyed this. I hope to read more of your work!

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-11-22
Reviewid: 105527Chapter: 8
“Damn you, Harry Potter” indeed :)

Of course, Severus could tell Dumbledore at any point later that he reconsidered the probabilities, came upon new information, found an easier way, etc...

...except that he won't. Can't explain why, but I just feel that he won't reopen this page of his academic career :(

End of the Story. Bitter and unresolvable like stale water...

P.S. And magnificent like a prancing kelpie :)

Reviewer: spriteDate: 2004-11-21
Reviewid: 105478Chapter: 8
What an ending! Not one I would have expected, but well done and very true to Snape's character. To suspect Minerva of taking all the credit, or selling him out is something only Snape could do. Very good story.

Reviewer: RachaelDate: 2004-11-21
Reviewid: 105434Chapter: 8
Absolutely wonderful, from beginning to end. From the first sentence, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen till it was done. Very nice exploration of the characters, and a completely twisty ending (just like Dumbledore to do something like that!). Not to mention action and danger aplenty to keep one hooked. To quote my favorite Weasley, "That was bloody brilliant!"

Reviewer: StarseaDate: 2004-11-20
Reviewid: 105382Chapter: 8
Oooh!

What a horrible yet delicious twist at the ending! At first, I didn't quite understand which Quidditch match we were talking about, but when the mention of a 'certain, cocky young Gryffindor' gave me a nice nudge.

What a great ending to a great story. I have been following this all the way through, and you have continually impressed me with your grasp of character: McGonagall, Dumbledore in this chapter, and of course, Snape. Yours is the best fanon Snape I've come across, although ivie and gracie's Snape comes a close second. I hope you write more stories from his POV - it's a bitter world, but interesting, nevertheless.

I think my favourite bit is the very last paragraph, when Snape is watching the crowd form around Harry below as the Slytherin supporters around him 'ebb' away. So symbolic!

xxx~Starsea~xxx

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2004-11-19
Reviewid: 105306Chapter: 8
A twisted ending! LOL. Still, Snape could go see Dumbledore later and recant. Somehow...

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-11-19
Reviewid: 105233Chapter: 8
Brilliant! Simply brilliant! I love the way Snape was mentally laying the blame of failure on everyone but himself; it's completely canon. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Snape, but he is a self-rightous snarky SOB. You portrayed him admirably throughout this fic - my hat's off to you!

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-10-18
Reviewid: 101736Chapter: 7
So it ends.
No cure for Imperius Curse in the near future... yet everybody's alive (canon rules!)
Well, time to lick over the unhealed wounds in a nice soothing Epilogue...
Though I doubt that Severus' wounds (of all the trio) can be soothed that easily

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-10-18
Reviewid: 101728Chapter: 6
OMG, what a mess...

A brilliant chapter (not that I expected anything less at this point :) - and still, I admit that it got me a bit unprepared (a.k.a truly scared!).
That should be strange, considering all the previous tension-building and the fact that *the worst* already happened in Chapter 5...
I can only attribute it to your writing skills and the fact that I've never knew much about kelpies before; and the Fantastic Beasts entry looks... well, less threatening :)

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-10-18
Reviewid: 101726Chapter: 5
Uh-oh... So it happened.
The description of Magnus' being Snape's guinea pig was *almost* funny - alomost, because the area of human mind's workings is too serious to be taken lightly.
And then he snapped - no wonder, bearing in mind that there wasn't a half-way decent bond of trust between the teacher in question and his pupil - and that proved to be the weakest link in the chain that the *each uisge* finally found and exploited :(

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-10-16
Reviewid: 101592Chapter: 4
Brilliant :)

Each part of the chapter has its own charm - I especially enjoyed Snape's interactions with Madame Pince... although the misadventures of poor Mr. Tench can't be read without a smile (or two).

The last episode about the water-demon trying to influence Lovell brought back the sense of incresing danger - but that's what makes your story unique, I guess - the right mixture of humor with horror...

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-10-09
Reviewid: 100850Chapter: 3
To say that it's been strong - would be saying nothing.
The description of the relationship between Voldemort and his DE was breathtakingly believable.
And it's obvious that the water-demon is capable of quite a subtle manipulation - much more subtle and dangerous than in the previous chapters...

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-10-06
Reviewid: 100607Chapter: 2
An ominous title, and even more ominous ending.
So far, we had only a faint glimpse on the demon's mental and phisical powers - and their are scaring...

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-10-06
Reviewid: 100583Chapter: 7
That was great! I guess chapter 8 will just tie up loose ends. It seems odd not to be complaining about an evil cliffhanger 8-D. Great story!

Reviewer: Nemo ReturningDate: 2004-10-03
Reviewid: 100268Chapter: 1
Just read the first chapter, but I do like this already :)
Both characters (or three, if you include the poor girl-messenger... or even five, if you include non-acting, but omnipresent Ms.Norris and Filch) are very well written.
Their common goal is made both clear and intriguing for readers from the very beginning.

Reviewer: GandalfinaDate: 2004-10-02
Reviewid: 100213Chapter: 7
Very well done! You're quite a writer, and more than once I was tempted to stop reading this fic, 'cause it is so scary. But the writing drew me back in.

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-10-02
Reviewid: 100198Chapter: 7
I love this story! Your pace and timing are great. The flashbacks were great at mixing exposition with tension. I was torn between needing to hear about Catriona and wanting to get to the denouement (sp?). The fact that I felt that way is a testament to your skill and craft!

Well done!

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-10-02
Reviewid: 100180Chapter: 7
I'm speechless. This is so brilliant. There are no words to describe it. The complete story about Catriona is fascinating, and the final defeat of the each uisge is a very exciting read as well.

However, I have one point of criticism about this chapter. Sometimes, you're just too vague. You're probably consciously not explaining every little detail, and that's a good thing. Explaining every small thing makes the story very boring. That is certainly not the case with your story.

It's hard to find the right balance between explaining things in the story and leaving things to the readers, and I'm afraid that this chapter doesn't have the right balance. I was confused about what exactly was happening several times. Re-reading helps in most cases, but it shouldn't.

Examples of this. You never mentioned - as far as I could find - the first time Severus levitates the cauldron. The first time the potion is mentioned, you're talking about a hovering potion. In my mind, that conjured up the image of a splash of potion, hovering in mid-air, without cauldron. A bit further on in the story, you do mention that it's in fact the cauldron, but I was confused at the start.

Another example is the conversation between Severus and Minerva at the end. They don't finish their sentences, they don't say half of what they mean, and they understand each other without words. Well, maybe they do, but I don't. It's all right to leave some things out, but you left out half of the conversation. It's very confusing.

That said, I'll just repeat how much in awe I am of this story. Your writing is very rich, your characterisation is perfect, and your plot is breath-taking. I can't wait to read the next chapter, but I'll also be very sorry when the story is finished.

Reviewer: AjaxDate: 2004-09-26
Reviewid: 99429Chapter: 6
I love this story more and more with each chapter. The plot is simply great. It's wonderful to see a story that doesn't have Snape angsting over Harry/MWPP/Voldemort/OC love interest etc. but instead portrays him as the competent Potions master that he is. Seeing the McGonagall/Snape interaction was also really cool - I don't think I've ever read a story before where they collaborated to such an extent. There are tiny hints in the books that the two do indeed get along fine (arguing over Quidditch, Snape's greeting of McGonagall at the end of Ootp) so your portrayal of them is a reasonable extrapolation from canon, in addition to being very in character.
I particularly like this line from Snape: "I judge the world as I find it, Professor McGonagall; and I find it lacking in charity." He would think like that, wouldn't he.
The each uisge is, as always, absolutely chilling. The cliffhanger is evil!
Another good point about the plot is all the backstory you've invented for the characters. While many writers would give us all this backstory in long expository paragraphs, you simply let in creep in when it's necessary, which I think makes it more effective and also heightens my interest in the story.
Finally, I love how inventive you are with magic - the Barrier spells, which I'm very intriguied about.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-09-22
Reviewid: 99028Chapter: 6
Wow. I didn't think your story could become any more impressive than it already was, but it did. Oh yes, it did. This chapter is beyond brilliant.

McGonagall and Snape together fighting a creature that can't be fought; the small flashbacks and memories, suddenly making sense of a couple of subtle hints in the previous chapters; perfect characterisation... I don't really have words for it all.

However, I also noticed something that could be improved. Your writing is usually very rich, but you sentence structure was too complex twice in this chapter. I'm talking about these sentences:

>>Halfway down the stairs to the dungeons, Minerva McGonagall caught hold of her colleague's arm, steadying herself against him while she tried to regain the wind that had been knocked out of her.<<

>>Long fingers shot out to clutch at her robes, catching her off-balance as she turned to run for Dumbledore, and she missed a step and almost fell.<<

In both cases, you've written the consequences before the actions. That's often possible, but in quick action scenes/sentences like these ones, it's only confusing. I had to read both sentences twice before I understood what they said, and that's a pity.

That's only a really really really tiny thing in this awesome chapter. Of course, I'm not really happy with the cliffhanger either, but I must admit that it is a good one. The only thing I don't understand is why McGonagall didn't use the vial with potion she got. Wasn't she supposed to buy time with that?

My favourite lines:

>>"I judge the world as I find it, Professor McGonagall; and I find it lacking in charity."<<

>>courtesy under stress had never been his strong point<<

Hurry up with the next chapter!

Reviewer: beckDate: 2004-09-21
Reviewid: 98960Chapter: 6
oh my what a ending cant wait to find out what happens

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-09-21
Reviewid: 98911Chapter: 6
Wonderful!! This is truly well done. Your timing and suspense are great! Right up to the cliffhanger, which was perfect. I'm sitting here sying to read the next chapter. I also think you did a great job of underplaying what was going on. It would have been easy to be heavy-handed with the plot. But it was just right. When Lovell fell to the each uisge, your explanation was just enough. Your technique is very well done.

Your characterizations are just right, too. I'm really enjoying the interaction between Snape and McGonagall. And Lovell.

Thanks!

Reviewer: PatriciaDate: 2004-09-21
Reviewid: 98840Chapter: 6
These last three chapters have been incredibly exciting. Very tightly written as befits the tense scenes both before and during their battle.

Reviewer: AjaxDate: 2004-08-04
Reviewid: 95709Chapter: 5
Argh. That is a very evil cliffhanger.
That aside, this is another brilliant chapter. I am particularly impressed by your language. The rich descriptions and the flowing prose make your story a pleasure to read. You have a knack for conjuring up vivid images in the reader's mind - I can easily visualise the dungeon where they're working and the claustrophobic atmosphere is really palpable. I also love your portrayal of Snape. It's brilliantly in character, down to his scathing, sarcastic dialogue.
Looking forward to reading more.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94380Chapter: 5
Ooohh! A cliffhanger! How can you do that?

Great chapter, again. Great writing, great plot, great characterisation. I can't wait to read the remaining chapters. Several of my favourite parts:

>>If you of all people found the will to stand up to Snape — not that I advise a repeat performance," she added hastily, clearing her throat<<
Perfect McGonagall.

>>For a ghastly moment Magnus thought she was about to ask him to make certain that Professor Snape ate up his supper, but mercifully, if she'd had it in mind, she thought better of it.<<
That's *so* funny!

>>Snape was scowling yet again over his own cramped writing in the lamplight, looking as if he wanted to murder the parchment — possibly by stabbing it to death with the hooked blade of his own overlarge nose, judging by the way he was bringing it closer and closer to his face.<<
That cracked me up as well.

>>Magnus caught his breath, remembering what, in the past few days, he had almost forgotten. He'd not only been good at Potions; he'd loved it, once.<<
Poor Magnus. It must be very hard on him to work with Snape.

Hope to see a new update soon!

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-07-28
Reviewid: 94377Chapter: 5
Ack! How could you stop here!??!! Please, please, please update soon!

Reviewer: IntelEwokDate: 2004-07-27
Reviewid: 94183Chapter: 5
Amazing chapter- I loved the charachterization- again. And now a Cliffhanger! This is absolutely my favorite story on Sugarquill!!

Reviewer: SeasprayDate: 2004-06-27
Reviewid: 89098Chapter: 4
I don’t think I have ever read a fic which has got inside Snape’s head so effectively. I loved the flashbacks, especially Snape’s bitterness that his chance of fame vanished because of Black and Harry. You really build up a good atmosphere too- that water horse thing is beginning to scare me silly. This is an incredibly well written fic, keep it up!

Reviewer: PCVDate: 2004-06-19
Reviewid: 87888Chapter: 4
Oh wow, need more chapters! This is very thrilling writing!

Reviewer: PCVDate: 2004-06-19
Reviewid: 87887Chapter: 3
Wow! Very powerful writing! I think I hardly breathed!

Reviewer: shooting starDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87251Chapter: 4
this is a great story~i love Snapes reasons for hating Sirius and Harry, and I love the cleverness you out into the potion he makes!

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87219Chapter: 4
Uh-oh. You seem to be foreshadowing here that something is going to go very wrong with the each uisge. Seeing as the summary also points towards something like that, I'm getting a bit afraid on Snape's behalf.

As usual, this chapter is brilliantly written. And also as usual, Snape is horribly in character. New, however, was Madam Pince. I absolutely love the way you wrote her. Therefore, my favourite lines are:

>>"Muggle binding, " she observed darkly, as if this were the worst that could be said of any object, book or not.<<

>>Not only was Professor Snape, as usual, not listening, this time he was no longer even in the room.<<

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-06-14
Reviewid: 87096Chapter: 4
The foreshadowing in this chapter is nerve wracking! I just *know* that beastie is going to get out and I'm *dying* to see what Snape does when it happens. Once again, a perfect Snape characterization, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

Reviewer: BrigantiaDate: 2004-06-14
Reviewid: 87088Chapter: 4
You've written Snape very well, and the each uisge comes across as very menacing. This is especially well done, considering it's been locked up so far, and hasn't really done anything. So the suspense is building as we wait to see what it will do. I look forward to the next chapter

Reviewer: IntelEwokDate: 2004-06-14
Reviewid: 87032Chapter: 4
Still a brilliant story! I could repeat myself and tell again and again that the characterization is so good... in each and every chapter...

I love this story- it's of the highest quality!

Reviewer: AjaxDate: 2004-06-12
Reviewid: 86853Chapter: 3
This is an absolutely brilliant story. I am in awe. Your characterisation of Snape is perfect - he is very nasty, as he should be, but his sarcasm is just so fun to read. You've obviously given a lot of thought to the intricacies of potion making, which gives an aura of authenticity to the story. Your writing is also very atmospheric, I can practically feel the claustrophobia of being shut in a dungeon with a strange magical creature caged in the corner.
Finally, I love your take on Dumbledore, how he planned to sacrifice himself, without anyone knowing. It's just the sort of selfless, courageous, but also calculating act canon Dumbledore would do.
Waiting eagerly for the next chapter, keep up the good work.

Reviewer: A LattimerDate: 2004-06-09
Reviewid: 86525Chapter: 1
Wow. You write like a professional. Perhaps you are. Anyway, I like this story very much so far. I like the way you do Snape and McGonagall, and the interplay between them. I like the 'each uisge'. I am also intrigued by the whole thing because a year or so ago I thought of writing a story about Snape bridling a kelpie but I just never got around to it. Now I'm glad I did not, because I have this delightful one to read!

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-05-28
Reviewid: 84987Chapter: 3
Another excellent chapter. I like your take on Snape's past and his reasons for joining & leaving Voldemort. I wonder of the each uisge was behind the trip down memory lane...

Reviewer: GufaDate: 2004-05-27
Reviewid: 84775Chapter: 1
One chapter and you've already intrigued me. Your writing is excellent, and Snape and McGonagall are both perfectly in character, which is always a great accomplishment. I'm looking forward to the rest of your story.

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84468Chapter: 3
A very interesting take on why Snape hates Harry so much. Poor Snape, working so hard to finally get the trust and fame he deserves, but failing miserably because of some stupid baby boy...

This chapter was just great. It's so very Snape-like! You've really grasped his character extremely well.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: SpartinaDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84331Chapter: 2
Wow...oh, wow. This *is* Professor Snape, entire. Having read the new chapter, I'm struck by how isolated he is, even among his colleagues; even with people who express concern for him, Severus--like the each-uisge--reflexively bites. Your explanation for his growing revulsion toward Voldemort is one of the best I've read--Snape's slowly-building realization that nothing he values would survive the Dark Lord's success.

You've made the each-uisge a fascinating character in its own right--very much an animal, yet one feels its intelligence and power. You do a wonderful job of establishing how sinister it is, how uncanny--and how it *reaches* Snape. I can't begin to guess where this will go, but I'm very excited about the journey.

Reviewer: Olivia WoodDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84268Chapter: 3
Interesting. Your Snape's delightfully nasty, and still very original. :) The Kelpie's very sinister. I can't wait to see where you're going with this. Update soon!

Reviewer: Ada KensingtonDate: 2004-04-21
Reviewid: 79689Chapter: 1
Linda: The 'each' in 'Each Uisge' is pronounced 'ech' - the Ea sounding like the E in 'when' and the 'ch' like that in German 'buch' or Scots 'loch'. 'Uisge' is pronounced oo-ee-sh-ki (the 'Ui' I think is a diphthong, so run the 'oo' and the 'ee' together.

Igenlode: I think you already know my opinion on 'Water Horse'. Suffice to say that, the more I read it, the more I am drawn in by its subtle shadowy quality. In my mind, there's nothing worse than a melodramatic 'darkfic'. When something is truly dark, it has to instill within the reader a sense of quiet apprehension. Apprehension is one of those sensations that takes quite some time and care to foster and must be used with care. You, my friend, have done it wonderfully well!

Reviewer: PPPDate: 2004-04-21
Reviewid: 79676Chapter: 2
I simply love this story! And you're characterization is so brilliant! I loved the Lovell-Snape scenes, it's great to see the professor without the "Potter-filter" :-)

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-04-19
Reviewid: 79532Chapter: 2
Yes, more Snarky!Snape. I suspect the blood from Mr. Lovell will play into the larger story, but I just love the callous way Snape deals with the injury. Eagerly awaiting the next update...

Reviewer: McGonagall's CatDate: 2004-04-19
Reviewid: 79477Chapter: 2
This is WONDERFUL!! Creative, interesting, in character. I can barely wait for the next chapters to be posted!

Thank you!

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-04-18
Reviewid: 79294Chapter: 2
Poor Magnus. To spend every night with a not-so-friendly Snape just because you're a competent student must be horrible.

Your characterisation of Snape was once again brilliant. My favourite line:

>>The sudden dawning of hindsight had never been one of his favourite experiences.<<

This chapter is really mysterious. There are lots of things that aren't entirely clear, and I don't doubt that you did that deliberately to keep us intrigued -- and you've succeeded. I'm definitely intrigued. I therefore hope you will update soon...

Reviewer: PPPDate: 2004-04-07
Reviewid: 77597Chapter: 1
BRAVO! Great idea, great characterization! I'll love this story, I know :) .

Reviewer: MelodyAprilDate: 2004-04-06
Reviewid: 77472Chapter: 1
Excellent. I liked the quote at the beginning and then the definition. The writing is high caliber, and it really feels like this story has direction...like you know exactly where you're going. No wasted words, no weak descriptions. I'm impressed. I can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-04-05
Reviewid: 77320Chapter: 1
Not much to add that hasn't been said before. Yes, I like your Snape and I love the interaction between the professors. I am curious about the 'each uisge'; it must be a fearsome beast to cause such a nervous reaction from both Snape and McGonagall. Can you include a pronounciation for it? All I know about Gaelic is that nothing is pronounced the way I expect it to be! Looking forward to the next chapter.

Reviewer: Mikau A. KaiouseiDate: 2004-04-05
Reviewid: 77309Chapter: 1
This was a very good starting chapter. This will be on the Professor's Bookshelf, mark my words. And if there are any typos in here, please forgive me; I can't see the window. (Stupid school computers...)

Reviewer: MelisandeDate: 2004-04-05
Reviewid: 77304Chapter: 1
Well, you've certainly caught my interest, right from the word "go". I shall be on the lookout for the next chapter, which I hope will be very soon. I loved the characterisation of Snape. And you have a very elegant writing style.

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2004-04-05
Reviewid: 77301Chapter: 1
Excellent start. Snape is nicely in character and I like to see a slightly out-of-bounds McGonagall.

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-04-04
Reviewid: 77168Chapter: 1
I'm in! For all eight chapters. I was in from the opening quotes. I love the level of research and background you have. It makes it seem to go much deeper. Good interactions between Snape and McGonagall. No love lost there, but loads of respect.

Great start! Looking forward to the rest!

Reviewer: HalcyonDate: 2004-04-04
Reviewid: 77141Chapter: 1
Brilliant beginning!! Your characterization of Snape is nothing short of perfect, your writing wonderfully witty and sharp, your plot intriguing. The banter between McGonagall was also very good and very in character.

Other things I particularly liked: The assistant will be a Ravenclaw. There are so few fics featuring strong Ravenclaw characters, and that the assistant will be male. No squicky sexual tension...

Again, very good job, I look forward to reading more. :)

Reviewer: BirgitDate: 2004-04-03
Reviewid: 77042Chapter: 1
Wow. Well, your writing is very good, your plot is intriguing, but it's all overshadowed by your characterisation of Severus. Brilliant isn't good enough. It's perfect.

Every part of it is more than excellent. The marking ("T. See me."), his treatment of the Hufflepuff girl, his deliberate wait, the whole conversation with McGonagall, including the condolences.

My favourite lines in this chapter:

>>Minerva's scoldings were only one of the various unpleasant situations he had hardened himself to ignore, over the years.<<

>>Professor McGonagall treated this last sally with all the attention it deserved; namely none.<<

I hope to see the next chapter soon!

Reviewer: birdsongDate: 2004-04-03
Reviewid: 76976Chapter: 1
This is a good beginning to the story. I'm looking forward to the other chapters.

Reviewer: BeakerDate: 2004-04-03
Reviewid: 76965Chapter: 1
Welcome to the Quill! And you've made a worthy first offering. The tension is palpable but not overdone. The characters are in character. The pieces all fit so far (why this creature? why now? why Snape and not Hagrid receiving it?)And your story casts as a competent master being pushed to his limits, so I look forward to seeing the outcome! (Snape may be nasty, but he is intelligent and competent, and I've always admired that in him.)

Great beginning! Looking forward to more.

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