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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Hermione's Summers
Review(s): 70

Reviewer: KerriDate: 2005-02-20
Reviewid: 114499Chapter: 4
The timing of events are perfect; explanations on those little details in the movies/books are explained (like why is Hermione so smart in the magic area?!) but what I love most of all is that this fanfic is just so AWESOME in general! ^-^ Absolutly love it. I hope that you will continue ^-^

Reviewer: KerriDate: 2005-02-20
Reviewid: 114494Chapter: 1
Hmm... never read a fanfiction about Hermione before she attended Hogwarts - or even thought about reading one. But everything that you write is pretty close to what I imagined Hermione would do when she'd recieve the letter. Although I love your style of writing; it draws in the reader's attention, and it doesn't seem boring at all. I'd say that this could easily fit into the world of HP that Joanne K. Rowling created. ^-^ I love the direction the story is going in so far. I'm looking forward to seeing the events that you created that will ultimately lead Hermione to become the witch that we all know and love xD

Reviewer: ArimalkaDate: 2005-02-16
Reviewid: 114017Chapter: 14
That was excellent! Though I do think that maybe you should've gone a little bit more into the summer?

Reviewer: HPfanaticDate: 2005-02-14
Reviewid: 113906Chapter: 1
Love your story! Update ASAP

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2005-02-14
Reviewid: 113899Chapter: 13
Lovely. I can't wait for more. I loved Bill's comment about one of his brothers liking it if Hermione came to stay with them, lol.

Reviewer: ChaosStormDate: 2005-02-04
Reviewid: 112936Chapter: 1
Thanks for your nice compliment on my English, dzennka. I must admit that Kaitie always catches a lot of grammar mistakes I make though.
And you are right - I did avoid letting the reader hear much of the conversation. I have thought it over and over and over again and I found it really hard to make it sound convincing. So in the end I cheated myself out of it a little :)

Reviewer: dzennkaDate: 2005-02-04
Reviewid: 112918Chapter: 13
I'm a geek, I'm reviewing twice in a row...

I was just looking at your reviews and I saw that English is not your first language. I didn't even notice! I did think that some of the earlier chapters seemed a bit formal, but I thought that was just because you're an adult and Hermione isn't. Congratulations for being able to use words like "squabbling" when English isn't your first language!

Reviewer: dzennkaDate: 2005-02-04
Reviewid: 112917Chapter: 13
I like the chapters about Mr. and Mrs. Granger, they don't confuse me...

I like your Hermione, she does feel 14 in this chapter, and her parents feel appropriately clueless :) I remember having a similar dynamic with my parents when I was 14. Perhaps it might have been more effective to send at least one adult that the Grangers knew to pick up Hermione - Mr. or Mrs. Weasley or whomever first spoke with the Grangers when Hermione got her Hogwarts letter? It seems a bit odd that they'd just let their daughter go off with two strange men (and not even ask/offer to come along). But I guess you've covered that by not letting the reader hear the entire conversation.

Reviewer: readerDate: 2005-01-17
Reviewid: 111199Chapter: 12
nice

Reviewer: GerardDate: 2005-01-14
Reviewid: 110899Chapter: 1
good idea, excellently plotted to weave around canon but I should warn you that honey is a term of enderment used mainly in the States. 'Love')or 'luv') would be more consistent.

Reviewer: Mercedes ParkerDate: 2004-12-25
Reviewid: 108567Chapter: 1
Excellent! This totally makes sense with the series. Give yourself a pat on the back!

Reviewer: ChaosStormDate: 2004-12-24
Reviewid: 108525Chapter: 1
I am from the Netherlands - so I am indeed only well known with "formal" English we are taught at schools. Although I do read a lot of (fantasy) books in English (I refuse to read any Potter except the Bloomsbury edition for example), it is hard to catch up on slang and abreviations and so. I am trying to do my best - but it's quite hard to get rid of the formal tone.

Reviewer: Darker_RageDate: 2004-12-23
Reviewid: 108475Chapter: 11
I am curious to know if english is your first language, or if you are a young author. Your work is superb, don't doubt the content of it for even a second! I ask as your use of english is very precice. What I mean is you refrain from using abbreviations and slang (such as typing "do not" instead of "don't") There's nothing wrong with this at all (once again, your work really is good!) but it often signifies a young or forign writer.

Keep writing, We only ever see Harry's (and a little of Ron's) summers, and i'm not sure how long I could last without Hermione's!!

Reviewer: ChaosStormDate: 2004-12-07
Reviewid: 107091Chapter: 1
Thanks for your nice comments all. I just want to set one thing straight however.
"I'm disappointed that you feel that contractions are a bad thing."
That is not entirely true. I don't think they are a bad thing, I just wasn't really "trained" to use them. English is not my native language and my English teachers at both primary and high school all kinda hated contractions. I don't really object them, but at school I was taught to not use them. It's really hard to "forget" something which was taught to you for over a period of ten years.
As for the comment on the grammar - thank you' but those credits really should go to Kaitie, who finds a lot of mistakes each time. I often think of how I would say it in Dutch and then translate it to English - that leads to quite a few mistakes really.

Reviewer: AbbyDate: 2004-12-07
Reviewid: 107075Chapter: 3
I would like to say that your story is very good, but when you're writing dialogue I'm disappointed that you feel that contractions are a bad thing. don't; I'm and other such things are your friends, embrace them. In day to day conversation not using contractions is usually just for emphasis or trying to get grammar correct. And your grammar was excellent, so don't worry.

Reviewer: tamira luneDate: 2004-12-05
Reviewid: 106945Chapter: 10
great great job! I'm likeing the idea of amanda...

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-12-04
Reviewid: 106861Chapter: 10
Great work. I like how you made Amanda a witch. It's so cool and I bet Hermione will want to meet here, especially now that they share the same 'talents'. Anyway, good job and I can't wait till you write more!

*Geena

Reviewer: Geena WatersDate: 2004-12-03
Reviewid: 106722Chapter: 5
What a great story! I like how it's all from Hermione's POV and such. Nice work. I'm looking forward to reading the rest later.

*Geena

Reviewer: Ford PrefectDate: 2004-12-01
Reviewid: 106575Chapter: 10
I must admit, I was a bit confused by this chapter, trying to work out who was who. (Past chapters usually referred to Hermione's parents as Mr. or Mrs. Granger. Luckily, I persevered and all clicked into place. The phrase "What must I do" seems a bit awkward to me. I can more easily imagine Hermione writing "What should I do?" or "What am I doing to do?" A minor point, but it sounds more a bit less formal.

Cheers.

Reviewer: cassie smithDate: 2004-12-01
Reviewid: 106439Chapter: 10
write more plz plz plz plz

Reviewer: SofiaDate: 2004-11-10
Reviewid: 104119Chapter: 9
excellent. you never get any truly good stories based soley on Hermione. i relly liked the encounter with the little girl ghost.

keep writing!

chao,
Sofia

Reviewer: ChaosStormDate: 2004-11-06
Reviewid: 103616Chapter: 1
@jolene
Thanks for your kind words. I am trying to "unformalize" my language a bit, but it's quite hard. English is not my first language and I was taught it at school at quite a formal way.

@Briana
Well seen. I was wondering if anyone would notice it. But I admit, it was an intentional copy/paste... just for fun :)

Reviewer: BrianaDate: 2004-11-05
Reviewid: 103570Chapter: 9
omg, i don't believe it, but I remember it... the ARRGH! It's cold and "It's supposed to be, honey" Is from the first chapter! don't ask me y I said it, I just did.=)

Reviewer: jolene_xxDate: 2004-11-05
Reviewid: 103561Chapter: 6
this is an excellent idea for a fic. i like mrs granger's doubts about the wizarding world. there are also some great details, like mr granger getting his drill from grunnings. it was also good on platform 9 and 3/4 when for a while hermione thought draco was a nice person.
your language seems very stilited and formal though. when people speak i think it would sound better if they said don't instead of do not etc.

Reviewer: BrianaDate: 2004-11-04
Reviewid: 103488Chapter: 1
Awesome! I never would have thought of that. Keep writing!

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-11-03
Reviewid: 103390Chapter: 9
Wonderful chapter. Your best yet, I'd say.

Reviewer: KatrineDate: 2004-10-13
Reviewid: 101329Chapter: 8
Still love it! Please update soon..!

Reviewer: GoldfishDate: 2004-10-10
Reviewid: 100970Chapter: 8
Jason's a brat, i dont like him!!!!
but i DID like how Hermione said, "What if I'm a witch?" or something like that. HE STOLE HER WAND!!! GRRRRR!!!!!!

Reviewer: KatrineDate: 2004-09-26
Reviewid: 99450Chapter: 7
Oooh, I REALLY like this! Please update soon!

Reviewer: beckDate: 2004-09-20
Reviewid: 98822Chapter: 7
oh poor hermione's parents that had to totally suck for them loved the chapter and the different point of veiw cant wait for the next chapter

Reviewer: ChaosStormDate: 2004-09-20
Reviewid: 98784Chapter: 1
Just a small reply to Nundu. I never had considered it an inappropiate situation. But that might be the culture in which people live. When I look at my own parents - they weren't married until I was born.
However, the reason for it all is the following: I wanted the chapter to happen on their 13th anniversary. 13 being the unlucky number and all. Since Hermione's birthday has been fixed in cannon and the day of Hermione's petrification (and there by her parent's anniversary in "Chaos!Canon" :) ) has been set in "semi-Canon" (CoS DVD time line), and the fact that it usually takes 9 months to be pregnant, simple math learned that Sandra Granger was pregnant during the wedding.
I don't find it inappropiate at all... then again, I am Dutch. There are a lot of things which we don't consider inappropiate in our culture - so it might be easier to write it down.

Reviewer: Jim McGuffinDate: 2004-09-20
Reviewid: 98767Chapter: 7
I discovered this fic while looking for some good Hermione fics (since today is her birthday). I enjoyed reading your story. Before I read it I never imagined what Hermione's Muggle parents must have felt after their daughter was Petrified.

I eagerly await the next chapter. I assume that it will take place the summer before PoA.

Reviewer: NunduDate: 2004-09-20
Reviewid: 98764Chapter: 7
I have been enjoying this story, but this chapter is not one of your best. Most of the dialogue seems too contrived, and could have done with a bit more beta correcting. (Some serious grammatical errors, and raging Americanisms). Major question, what was the purpose of having Hermione's mother pregnant at her wedding? Is there a specific purpose towards your eventual long term story line for this? If not, why put these people in a position of what is still considered an inappropriate situation, no matter your opinion on premarital sex.

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-09-19
Reviewid: 98721Chapter: 7
Excellent. I always find it really hard to enjoy these stories, writing about the very same subject too (as part of my Hermione Granger series), but the last two chapters (Summer 1992 and Spring 1993) I have really, genuinely enjoyed. Some wonderful ideas (I really like it that you made Puckle Sandra's maiden name), and some very cruel ones (like placing the day of the Petrification on the parents' anniversary - that's just cruel.)

Reviewer: ChaosStormDate: 2004-08-12
Reviewid: 96851Chapter: 1
Thanks for your comments everyone. As you can see the summary has been updated :)

Linda: Your wish shall be granted. I am currently writing something about that.

Stephanie: I must admit I never really set stories appart in character exploration or plot stories. I usually just write because I liked it. However, I see a point of truth in what you are saying there. From the start on I had already planned to write chapters seen from the PoV from the parents. In fact, I am writing one right now. I shall put a bit more effort in exploring all of the Granger family.

reviewer 96282 :) : Some times it is hard not to repeat canon. Especially with the introduction meeting and the encounter with Lockhart. I will try to do my best to add new stuff - but from time to time I feel things just need to be explained from canon - if only so paps & mams Granger can understand.

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-08-11
Reviewid: 96698Chapter: 6
Gosh, I like this story! Can't wait to see how (or if) Hermione explains getting petrified. My favorite line "I could never imagine Professor Flitwick fighting with Professor Snape like that." Actually, I'd pay good money to see that fight <grin>!

Reviewer: AQstar23Date: 2004-08-08
Reviewid: 96342Chapter: 6
I really like ur story. Please update soon!

Reviewer: Miss Stephanie D.Date: 2004-08-08
Reviewid: 96330Chapter: 6
As promised, I have read Hermione's Summers, and I have been pleasantly surprised by the quality and the subject of the work.
As discussed on the Forum board, please do change the summary for this story as the current version does not do your fic justice.
I like your characterizations of Mr. and Mrs. Granger, how Mrs. Granger is wary and Mr. Granger somewhat interested (without being rabid like Mr. Weasley). I also like how you show Hermione's difficulty with meshing her two worlds at Christmas and concerning her brace. You have managed to keep Hermione in-character without falling into the 'Honestly' and constantly-reading traps -- this is a rare achievement.
I truly enjoy your 'undark' story. You touch on many interesting aspects of Hermione's Muggle life: translating for her parents, her changing opinions of both worlds, the normal dilemmas of a young teen, moral dilemmas, and mixing with uninitiated Muggles. However, your writing is 'tight'. This was fitting for Summer of Terror, Chasing Hour, and Proof of Birth because they are plot-centered stories. Hermione's Summers is a character exploration. You write well and bring in so many good subjects for exploration, please feel free to elaborate and run on at the mouth over, for instance, Mr. and Mrs. Granger's reactions to the fight at the bookshop or how they feel about magical solutions and the regulations concerning their interaction with the wizarding world.
You have excellent ideas and you express them wonderfully. I would like to read more of them.
Gramercy,
Miss Stephanie D.

Reviewer: reviewerDate: 2004-08-08
Reviewid: 96282Chapter: 1
I've been following this story for a while. You have lots of good details, but it does get a bit slow sometimes when it's just repeating things we already know or could easily surmise from the books. When you get creative and unpredictable is best. And maybe you could experiment with your writing to make the scary or exciting parts more dramatic. I also agree that the dialogue would be much smoother with more contractions.

Reviewer: CrazyEddyPottyFanDate: 2004-08-07
Reviewid: 96163Chapter: 5
Very well written! I actually wondered myself how Muggle-Borns get filled in on all the information on the wizarding world. I love the way in chapter one how the story mixes with the book.

Reviewer: EstherDate: 2004-07-27
Reviewid: 94142Chapter: 5
I love them!! they are soo fun...Do the next one soon...please!!!

Reviewer: Fiona CameronDate: 2004-07-26
Reviewid: 94062Chapter: 4
Ithink that this story is graet and how the author looked into the book to know the phraeses the that Hermioene, the Weasleys and Neville go currently with the book

Reviewer: tamir aluneDate: 2004-07-24
Reviewid: 93906Chapter: 5
great. The idea is really original, adn that's waht I really like.

Reviewer: FrazilDate: 2004-07-15
Reviewid: 92460Chapter: 5
This is a pretty good fic! I like your neat little touches, such as finding a use for the name Puckle. :)

If I may make one piece of constructive criticism, I think you should use more contractions. At the moment you write a lot of dialogue without contractions (e.g., "You *will not* fall off easily. and I dont see why *you are* excited about such a bunch of feathers.), which makes it look a bit unnatural. I mean, I don't think anybody really talks like that. :) So a lot more won'ts and you'res and so on would be a big improvement.

Oh, and a Britpick - they'd say sweets, not candy. :)

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-07-14
Reviewid: 92324Chapter: 4
I like the way you've kept Hermione bossy but well meaning; very much in character. I'm curious to see how Hermione's mom's reluctance to magic unfolds, especially during her second year. Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: AbbyDate: 2004-06-23
Reviewid: 88438Chapter: 4
Good story, I look forward to the next years.

Reviewer: quafflequeenDate: 2004-06-18
Reviewid: 87772Chapter: 4
ARRRGHGGHG!!!!! YOU LEFT US HANGING!!!!!! WRITE MORE! WRITE MORE!!!!!

Reviewer: GinnyDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87283Chapter: 4
Very good. I couldn't tell the difference between your writing and J.K. Rowling's. Awesome.

Reviewer: tamira luneDate: 2004-06-13
Reviewid: 86916Chapter: 4
that;s awesome!!!!!

Reviewer: saraDate: 2004-06-12
Reviewid: 86826Chapter: 4
brilliant, bloody brilliant. I love this story, you're a fantastic writer and i love how you piece everything together from the books. Keep up the fantastic work and pleeease update soon. I cant wait to read about the rest of Hermione's summers!

Reviewer: KewiiDate: 2004-05-26
Reviewid: 84649Chapter: 3
You know, I've always wondered about what Hermione did before Hogwarts, and during her summers. I'm more curious about her than I am about Ron, because it's easier to assume what Ron does.

This fits really well with Rowling's works. I also love the touches to the book you gave. Such as with the drill, Hagrid, etc.

I'm looking forward to more.

Reviewer: ^_~Date: 2004-05-26
Reviewid: 84624Chapter: 3
cool

Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84456Chapter: 3
I'm writing a similar thing myself. I very much like yours, though of course I like mine better ;)
You've chosen the same name for Hermione's father, btw.

Reviewer: NormDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84417Chapter: 3
I really like this story. I hope you are able write more soon.

Reviewer: LDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84408Chapter: 3
can't wait for more!

Reviewer: LatH123Date: 2004-05-23
Reviewid: 84131Chapter: 1
Thanks for those comments all:
The good news: I submitted chapter 3 (which is surely more fun than 2) to Kaitie a couple of days ago :)

Reviewer: richDate: 2004-05-22
Reviewid: 83918Chapter: 1
Okay, You have me hooked....I really like it....now get the next chatper up :-)

Reviewer: Hunter's MoonDate: 2004-05-08
Reviewid: 81657Chapter: 1
I look forward to more of this interesting story! You've done a good job portraying a Muggle and Muggle-born reaction to the wizarding world!

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-05-07
Reviewid: 81578Chapter: 2
Nice second chapter. I can see where it's hard to keep the story fresh without repeating cannon verbatim, but you did a good job. I like the comment about Harry Potter, as well as the mention of scarves being supplied to first years (hadn't thought about that).

Reviewer: Susan LynnDate: 2004-04-20
Reviewid: 79617Chapter: 1
I've enjoyed reading your first chapter. It's a charming story, and I look forward to getting better acquainted with Mr. and Mrs. Granger. I especially liked the guardian angel explanation of Hermione's emerging magical talent and Susan Shimmerfield's name.

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-04-19
Reviewid: 79495Chapter: 1
Great story! I love the bit about the drill being from Grunnings. Looking forward to more.

Reviewer: LeelaDate: 2004-04-18
Reviewid: 79284Chapter: 1
Looking forward to see where you go with this. Certainly enjoying it so far. :~)

Reviewer: SehilaDate: 2004-04-18
Reviewid: 79241Chapter: 1
I do like the bit about Grunnings. Very original in my opinion. Very good fic! Keep it up.

Reviewer: SarahDate: 2004-04-17
Reviewid: 79229Chapter: 1
Hey now... this is very interesting...
I'm curious to know what the meeting will be like...
Please continue! Good job so far!

Cheers!
Sarah ^_^

Reviewer: LatH123Date: 2004-04-17
Reviewid: 79125Chapter: 1
Thanks for the comments all so far - and yes, I am glad I replaced Philips with Grunnings. What I want to say here mainly is something I forgot to say in the foreword. I try to add new chapters roughly each 3 or 4 weeks (have a busy life, can't do it sooner often, but if I might find some time it might happen accidentally).

Reviewer: JenDate: 2004-04-16
Reviewid: 79106Chapter: 1
I appreciate the use of Grunnings as the Drill company. Something I don't think I have ever seen before.

Good start.

Reviewer: Ergo343Date: 2004-04-16
Reviewid: 79102Chapter: 1
"Mr. Granger had sworn never to touch another drill in his life, with the exception of his dentist tools of course."
Hehe... but no fair... I hate the dentist... I like the story..Keep it up...

Reviewer: PolinaDate: 2004-04-16
Reviewid: 79092Chapter: 1
Great start! I especially liked this:

Its the bloody drill, her father said angrily, holding his right hand with his left. It got stuck and just a second later it exploded in my hands. It burned my hand and nearly injured my child. Im going to write Grunnings a long letter about this, its one of their drills.

LOL! Very nice, subtle connection there. You did a great job capturing the Grangers' amusement/bewilderment. And I find the "introductory meeting" idea to be quite plausible. Looking forward to more!

Reviewer: wilaniaDate: 2004-04-16
Reviewid: 79062Chapter: 1
I like it. You've done a good job of developing Hermione's parents. It's nice to get a glimpse of Hermione and what she was like before coming to Hogwarts. I appreciate the way you've created Hermione's world so that I can actually picture being there.

Keep up the good work! I look forward to further developments.

Reviewer: KissingQueen18Date: 2004-04-16
Reviewid: 79059Chapter: 1
Hey, pretty good idea for the story. I liked it... very fun. Look forward to more updates.

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