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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Animal Instincts
Review(s): 78

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-02-28
Reviewid: 140368Chapter: 1
Excellent – Brilliant: Pick one, or both. You deserve more.

Reviewer: 1SadFoolDate: 2006-01-13
Reviewid: 138467Chapter: 1
You must be a cat owner. If not, you have only once again proved that you are a genius. Also I couldn't help but think that perhaps this entire fanfic was inspired by an offhanded remark of a friend...
This remark: "His pick of the prime pussy, if you will."
How wonderfully childish :-D

Reviewer: YlimeDate: 2005-09-06
Reviewid: 131850Chapter: 1
aslkjfklsdjflshjfkhjkhslhfkjshfjdshfjksdhfjhdskfha; ad infinitum.

I don't think I've ever giggled so hard at a story. That was hilarious!

Reviewer: anbieDate: 2005-08-06
Reviewid: 129013Chapter: 1
I had this whole wonderful summary with such witticisms in here in my reveiw, and then I submitted and it gave me some bosh about the database not handling stuff every 60 seconds or whot-not. Anywho, to the reveiw...

I must say, it was excellent, very funny indeed. Here I have posted some of my favorite parts posted so that if read in the context of a paragraph it would be very nonsensical. Why am I doing this? Cause you know how kids collect peices of broken glass and old peices of chewed gum? Well this is sorta like it, just more witty and funny and less gross - sorta. XP

Mrs. Smith looked at her watch. “Oh, it is! I'm going to miss all my programs!” She hurried to the door, but just before leaving, added, “You just keep that... beast away from Muffy-Boo-Boo-Kins!”

(Not that Hermione would, but Ron might. Not to say that Hermione gave a damn what Ron thought, or would indeed give a damn given the opportunity.)

However, if Crookshanks did keep a journal, the entry for this day would look something like this:

Mistress has foiled my plan to hide. Would have gotten away with it if not for that meddling owl.

Come to think of it, owl ruined first plan to sabotage alarm. Must add revenge on owl to things to do list.

1) Save genitals

2) Revenge on owl

Am now in cab to the butcher. Hope last-ditch effort will not fail. Am rather attached to lower bits.

Music: radio is playing, not sure of song

Mood: frightened for genitalia

“Herm... Hermyown? Hermeeonay? Herm... Miss Granger? Dr. Sinclair will see you in room three.”

Lovley job Jack (if I may call you Jack - Jack, actually I do believe I just did - twice, anywho...). The cat journal was a stroke of genius. 'Twas witty and funny and charming. Dear god I just wrote charming. Right, you don't know me so therefore don't know the affects that had on me, but its affect was great, in a not-so-good way. But the chapter was great. Right-o rambling... Keep up the marvelous work.

(*Not* the cerial),


Reviewer: AnaxandraDate: 2005-06-24
Reviewid: 124992Chapter: 1
An entire story about cat genitls. How--- interesting (note: use of word interesting suggests that story is more than just interesting) Okay, catgenitalia is making me crack up. there i go.

Reviewer: BibiDate: 2005-06-02
Reviewid: 123236Chapter: 1
Oh, that was a very sweet story!!! :)
I hope Crookshank gets Pig ;)

Reviewer: LaceyRice56Date: 2005-04-14
Reviewid: 119635Chapter: 1
I just wanted to say that I find your stories hilarious!

You always seem to have an interesting take on things, and have an amazing way of getting stuff across to your readers.

I really like your POV's.

Crookshanks is GREAT!

Can't say enough!


Reviewer: CootiePatootieDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117907Chapter: 1
Oh this is great. I have four cats and they all think this way. My biggest cat did the Chaos Incarnate thing - well, except the doctor didn't sedate himself...ha ha ha. But my cat WAS on top of the cabinets for a while!!!
I loved the thoughts and journal entries. But I especially liked the idea that he liked Ron because he had delicious looking pets!!!

Reviewer: WendelinDate: 2004-11-24
Reviewid: 105843Chapter: 1
<< He liked Ron. Especially because he had delicious looking pets. >>

*Howls with laughter*

I would never, in a million years, thought of that reason for Crookshanks liking Ron.

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2004-11-22
Reviewid: 105523Chapter: 1
Woot! **ivy & Gracie wipe their eyes and snort unbecomingly** This is such genius. We read it quite awhile ago, and for some reason failed to review it. We promise never to such a reprehensible thing again. Are re-reading all your fics, and enjoying them tremendously!

Favorite lines:

>>Crookshanks had what one might call a feline harem. His pick of the prime pussy, if you will.<< **ivy whaps Gracie with her Big Black Purse... will you behave??? What would Mother say?? Gracie laughs anyway**

>>After she left, Dr. Sinclair readied the sedative and opened the small cage door. He then reached in to retrieve the cat, which would prove to be the greatest mistake of his professional career.<<

Ha! You're a madman. Brilliant.

Reviewer: ahmoseDate: 2004-11-15
Reviewid: 104946Chapter: 1
omg....that was had to be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. Beautifully done! I was laughing through the whole thing (especially since i have four cats of my own, one is a boy ;) )

Reviewer: IggyDate: 2004-10-28
Reviewid: 102727Chapter: 1
ROFLMAO! I love it! You must have a cat.

Reviewer: Dragon VoldemortDate: 2004-08-24
Reviewid: 98434Chapter: 1
Yo, found the story cute and interesting. Good ol' Crookshanks for making it out with his bits intact!

Reviewer: Sam RorieDate: 2004-07-26
Reviewid: 94008Chapter: 1
Thank you. You gave me lots of laughs when I needed it desperately. While I know nothing of Kneazles, Crookshank's comments reminded me of one of my cats..

Reviewer: Sam RorieDate: 2004-07-26
Reviewid: 94007Chapter: 1
Thank you. You gave me lots of laughs when I needed it desperately. While I know nothing of Kneazles, Crookshank's comments reminded me of one of my cats..

Reviewer: TeresaDate: 2004-07-08
Reviewid: 91414Chapter: 1

Reviewer: Angel09Date: 2004-07-01
Reviewid: 89784Chapter: 1
Yes I am proud. But dont let your ego get too big. It doesnt take much for me to be proud.

Reviewer: FayDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87163Chapter: 1
Hehe. Crookshanks's kitty Very funny.
My only complaint is that I would've liked a more detailed account of what happened in Room Three :)

Reviewer: CassieMDate: 2004-06-11
Reviewid: 86740Chapter: 1
This was hilarious! I love the image of the passed out doctor. Poor Pig. Good thing he flies pretty fast!

Reviewer: CheddarTrekDate: 2004-06-09
Reviewid: 86548Chapter: 1
This is great, I actually managed to laugh out loud at one point and by doing so caused my friend to wander out of her room to see what I was laughing at at 7 am.

Reviewer: CristinaDate: 2004-06-09
Reviewid: 86486Chapter: 1
That was seriously the funniest thing I've read in a long time! I think you nailed Crookshanks' personality, and I loved the subtle R/Hr. Hermione *is* the queen of understatements! Good job!!

Reviewer: seamusisevilDate: 2004-06-05
Reviewid: 85989Chapter: 1
i loved crookshanks jurnal it was so funny you should think of writeing a whole year of crookshanks pov

Reviewer: anna MDate: 2004-05-23
Reviewid: 84112Chapter: 1
This is great too! My favorite part:
1) Save genitals

2) Revenge on owl


Reviewer: CornedBeeDate: 2004-05-22
Reviewid: 84047Chapter: 1
I'm proud, yes. I love every single one of your stories so far (three).

Reviewer: BrytniDate: 2004-05-22
Reviewid: 84013Chapter: 1
Jack, you always make me smile. I anxiously await more in your 'pet series'. :) Great job, keep writing!

Reviewer: LizDate: 2004-05-21
Reviewid: 83822Chapter: 1
"Perhaps... making gender a moot point."

Best. Description. Ever. Bwah!

Reviewer: ValDate: 2004-05-12
Reviewid: 82316Chapter: 1
great fic! I absolutely love it. And of course the ron/hermione bits are lvoely, and not overdone.

Reviewer: FleurDate: 2004-05-03
Reviewid: 81105Chapter: 1
This was so cute. I especially loved Crookshanks diary entry a la livejounral.

Loved it.


Reviewer: BasilMDate: 2004-05-01
Reviewid: 80853Chapter: 1
Thank you for writing such an amusing story. Every aspect was delightful.

Reviewer: Audra LachesisDate: 2004-04-30
Reviewid: 80739Chapter: 1
I love this fic, *lol*. I've seen several where authors try to 'write' from Crookshanks' perspective, and the effect can be hit or miss -- but I love your take on him, even down to him eyeing Pig as a snack. I especially love his 'journal entry', complete with music and mood indicators -- suspiciously reminiscent of LiveJournal, ^_^

~Audra (This story has been blogged at: )

Reviewer: SadeDate: 2004-04-29
Reviewid: 80597Chapter: 1
Great, funny as always. Except for the Hr/R shippiness.
But I forgive you, though it doesn't really matter.

Reviewer: dinkaDate: 2004-04-28
Reviewid: 80516Chapter: 1

I normally love your stuff, and this was no exception.
However, there were some things that I *really* didn't like, and that was your jokes about Mrs. Smith.
If the jokes had been directed at Mrs. Smith herself, it would be all right. But they seemed to be directed at old people in general, and I hope you realize how low it is to make fun of old people.

Maybe you didn't mean it like that, but I ask you to read the beginning of your story, and notice what I'm talking about.

Aside from that part, I thought your story was very funny, and original. I laughed out loud more than once.

Take care.


Reviewer: Melissa ReneeDate: 2004-04-28
Reviewid: 80510Chapter: 1

I loved how Crookshanks vanquished the vet, though I am curious how he managed to make the vet stab himself with his own needle, though I doubt Crookshanks or the vet are willing to give details on that account. Maybe the vet should have tried to sedate him without opening the cat carrier.

Reviewer: zaraDate: 2004-04-28
Reviewid: 80496Chapter: 1
HAHAHAH WOnderful!

Reviewer: p0tterfanDate: 2004-04-28
Reviewid: 80484Chapter: 1
That was very nicely done. Crookshank point of view was nicely done too. Perhaps some more pet adventures are afoot for the summer.

Reviewer: Lady NarcissaDate: 2004-04-28
Reviewid: 80483Chapter: 1
[apply one very solid round of applause here, replete with a grin that just won't go away]

Reviewer: BridgetDate: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80431Chapter: 1
"She was vaguely certain the outfit as a whole involved pants in some way." Taht was my favorite part because that is pretty much how my mornings go.

Reviewer: scgDate: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80417Chapter: 1
Okay, you do get a lot of reviews, but you deserve them! This story had me snickering the whole time. From 'save genitals' to 'gender as a moot point' to Ron's delicious looking pets. Thanks for the laugh!

Reviewer: beckDate: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80404Chapter: 1
that was a great funny little outtake =)

Reviewer: KewiiDate: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80391Chapter: 1
As usual, you crack me up.
I loved the cat diaries and the whole 'revenge the owl'.
And of course you've captured the whole Ron/Hermione relationship perfectly.
Great Work

Reviewer: HeatherKDate: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80389Chapter: 1
Hehehehe....oh that is phenomenal. Everytime I think I've gotten done laughing, I remember some part that was great and start all over again! Definitely novel that's for sure! I believe you have possibly captured Crookshanks to a T! Absolutely great! "Mistress has foiled my plan to hide. Would have gotten away with it if not for that meddling owl. Come to think of it, owl ruined first plan to sabotage alarm. Must add revenge on owl to things to do list.
1) Save genitals
2) Revenge on owl
Am now in cab to the butcher. Hope last-ditch effort will not fail. Am rather attached to lower bits.
Music: radio is playing, not sure of song
Mood: frightened for genitalia"
That was the most awesome part!! *mutters to herself, frightened for genitalia, HEEEEhehehehehehe!!!*

Reviewer: Ara Kane, part 2Date: 2004-04-27
Reviewid: 80374Chapter: 1
ROTFLMAO -- another masterpiece from you. I loved everything, as usual, and now want to give Crookshanks his own LJ. (Ron's "delicious-looking pets" -- oh, yeah!)

Thank you, thank you, thank you. This day sucked until I read your fic.

Reviewer: OrangeDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80345Chapter: 1
Just wanted to say that you have an excellent writing style, dry wit, and way with words. I'd love to read original stuff of yours too. In my opinion as a literate member of the public, you have a very publishable voice and kick butt.

Reviewer: PoocaDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80335Chapter: 1
I betcha Hermione thinks he has delicious looking 'pets' too. *smirk*

Reviewer: GDDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80330Chapter: 1
Very very cool - I especially liked you adding in Crookshank's "point of view"
Amazing story - I can't stop gushing.

Reviewer: eca celliDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80320Chapter: 1
Jack, I hate you. You get far too many reviews. I'd flame this but you'd appreciate it too much so I won't XD

Reviewer: Pamr6Date: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80316Chapter: 1
I couldn't help the evil peal of laughter that issued forth from my person when I read the line about the doctor stabbing himself with his own needle and taking a nap. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!!!!!!! As someone who HATES needles and suspects all members of the "medical" community as really being sadists who enjoying using an unsuspecting public as pin cushions and seeing "how big they can make the bruise on this one", that line was priceless. Thank you from the heart of my bottom, eh, bottom on my heart - whatever. I'm still laughing.

Reviewer: NARDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80312Chapter: 1
Great and really funny story. Favourite line: "His pick of the prime pussy, if you will. (Not that Hermione would, but Ron might."

Reviewer: GryffinMiraurDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80311Chapter: 1
<snicker> I love your stories. You always manage to capture the humorous bits of Harry Potter well and this story is no exception. Keep up the good work.

Reviewer: FrankieDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80309Chapter: 1
Oh wow. Now, that was darn amusing. *Loved* Crookshanks' "to do" list. Very, very well done.

Reviewer: madame enDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80300Chapter: 1
Very funny!! Especially Crookshanks' journal entries and list of things to do. Poor Pig better be careful. ;o)

Thanks for the laugh.

Reviewer: MelisandeDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80284Chapter: 1
Oh, I loved this, it was so funny - and especially Crookshanks' diary entries. I'm sitting writing this with my own darling Possum on my lap, filled with guilt about having made his gender -er- irrelevant.
I'm so glad Crookshamks managed to save his precious genitalia!!!

Reviewer: PhoenixWingsDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80283Chapter: 1
Thank you for making me giggle in the school computer lab. Now everyone is staring at me wondering what kind of mental state I'm in, but your story was well worth it.

I love the way you use words, like:

"Hermione frowned. Neuter was such an ugly word. Perhaps... making gender a moot point."

I could definitely relate to that...bringing my dog home from the vet's and ending up calling him "it" for a few days...anyways. Rambling. Thanks for making my day. And yes, I'm proud.

Reviewer: kDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80282Chapter: 1
yes, yes I am proud ::scratches you behind ur ears::

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80270Chapter: 1
Very funny! Reminded me a bit of Terry Pratchet, especially the lines:
-and how you don't get the same sunrises you used to get back in her day.
-but only because he'd gone through the forehead line twice.

Reviewer: LenaDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80267Chapter: 1
Oh wow. This was great. I loved the tone that you used for this piece!

Reviewer: Steve CalabreseDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80246Chapter: 1
I laughed throughout this whole thing.

And then I came to this:

He liked Ron. Especially because he had delicious looking pets.

and I nearly choked laughing so hard.


Reviewer: ArnelDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80244Chapter: 1
Oh, this is cute! I especially liked the sections in Crookshanks' POV and his thought about Ron's delicious-looking pets. Your story made me smile. Great job! Bravo!

Reviewer: DonDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80242Chapter: 1
Three cheers for preserving male genitals! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

You can bet that is the ONLY time that cheer has been cheered here at the Quill! In fact, if they had a filter for that operation, this would be a frightening place!

I especially enjoyed the two points of view! Crookshanks was appropriately feline in his directness and his vengefulness! A worthy opponent. He fought the good fight and deserves to keep his 'nads.

Great work!!

Reviewer: US HP FanDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80231Chapter: 1
I love how you included Crookshanks' point of view. Excellent!

Reviewer: KizmetDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80230Chapter: 1

"Crookshanks had what one might call a feline harem. His pick of the prime pussy, if you will."

{drops head on desk}

Reviewer: Reedy70002Date: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80226Chapter: 1
This was very funny

I liked the Crookshanks POV

Reviewer: AnnieDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80218Chapter: 1
Oh, that was adorable. I LOVE your stories. Like others have said, you never fail to make me LOL. ^_^. I'm very proud of your longest one chapter story, yes, but I think it'd make an even better longest 2 or more chapter story...<hint, hint>

Reviewer: SarahDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80210Chapter: 1
I do love your stories, and this one is no exception! Imagine... a story about Crookshank's genitals!
Who would ever have imagined!?! Only you Jack... only you...
Fabulous story!

Sarah ^_^

Reviewer: MyfDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80206Chapter: 1
Thanks - after a morning of mind-numbingly boring study, I really needed a good laugh. Any fic that makes me laugh out loud three times has to be something special.

Plus, after a lot of mooching around with my LJ, I particularly appreciated
<i>Music: radio is playing, not sure of song
Mood: frightened for genitalia</i>


Reviewer: Ms. SnufflesDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80199Chapter: 1
Oh my!...Oh!...*trying very very hard to stifle laughter in the library and failing* Well-written as always. You captured all the characters' thoughts and actions very well indeed!

Reviewer: AnimusDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80187Chapter: 1
My God, that was hillarious.

The way you wrote the story was brilliant, and the Crookshank entries were absolutely great.

Amazing job, to say the least.


Reviewer: CarmenDate: 2004-04-26
Reviewid: 80184Chapter: 1
loL! this is really funny and a great idea of Crookshanks' character!

Reviewer: MaglorDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80163Chapter: 1
This was wonderful. Hermione was very much IC, and Crookshanks is just adorable. I loved his 'journal entry' (with mood and music and all)!

Reviewer: LizDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80162Chapter: 1
Oh lord, you've done it again. I nearly killed myself laughing. This line had to be the best though:
Mood: frightened for genitalia

Liz- still laughin

Reviewer: JenadamsonDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80159Chapter: 1
Muffy-Boo-Boo-Kins? Very funny stuff. I especially like the idea of a kitty harem for Crookshanks. And Crookshanks 'diary' was also funny. As usual with your fics, I laughed out loud quite a bit!

Reviewer: david abbeyDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80151Chapter: 1
that was really funny. well done.

Reviewer: WrenDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80145Chapter: 1
Oh, this was a great one! I, too, would love to see how Crookshanks manages revenge... [coughhintcough]

Reviewer: NicDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80137Chapter: 1
I have no idea how you manage to come up with such bizarre plots but you never fail to write a good piece that always gets me laughing!

Poor Crookshanks....although he's not all that innocent. He reminds me of the dog from 'Family Guy'! Loved your own characters - the old lady, the old vet - his inability to pronounce Hermione's name was hilarious because I admit, I went through exactly the same ways of saying the name when I first saw it!

Nice surprise to see Tonks at the a Weasley sweater too!!

Great stuff.

Reviewer: TaraDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80133Chapter: 1
One of the few authors, and stories, capable of making me laugh out loud (in the literal sense). I particularly liked Crookshanks' journal entry. Great job!!

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80117Chapter: 1
*laughing* Very funny! Although, I think the perfect ending would have been Hermione turning to Tonks and asking if there was a spell that could "take care" of Crookshanks. :p

Reviewer: BabyRuthDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80113Chapter: 1
I usually love your stories and this one is no exception. Wonderful imagination! Very jealous am I!

Reviewer: SabreDate: 2004-04-25
Reviewid: 80111Chapter: 1
very proud. And even more amused. Pig needs to be on his guard now... Let's just hope the whole episode doen't spark off another fued between Crookshanks mistress and that pesky owl's owner... Loved the whole thing and would love to see what happens at the burrow (hint, hint)!


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