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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 41

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-12-18
Reviewid: 146499Chapter: 7
More Please.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2006-07-22
Reviewid: 144359Chapter: 7

Reviewer: Dark PrincessDate: 2005-12-30
Reviewid: 137808Chapter: 7
I just discovered your story the other day, and I'm so glad you updated. It's a truly enjoyable story, with a very unique plot line. Liz is a wonderful character, and I like your portrayal of Snape. That, and I have so many other questions that I want answered about this story!

Please update soon, as I can't wait to read what happens next: You ended this chapter with somewhat of a cliffhanger :)

Until the next chapter *hint, hint*

Dark Princess

Reviewer: MarcellaDate: 2005-09-13
Reviewid: 132432Chapter: 6
Loved it. Can't wait for the next chapter. the mystery part and the romance part both very good!

Reviewer: Under the North StarDate: 2005-08-19
Reviewid: 130389Chapter: 1
Have really enjoyed your story & hugely look forward to hearing morefrom you! I esp love the believable way you portray train of the main characters' thoughts and how well you have imagined the many different emotions various thoughts arouse. We really do think a milloin miles a minute, esp when our conversational partner is someone that makes the heart race.

Reviewer: wodabeDate: 2005-08-18
Reviewid: 130337Chapter: 4
Interesting character so far, even with the Snape romance bit. This chapter was kind of vague--I know most people should be familiar with the books, but a little more description of the events surrounding the third task would have helped set the scene better. Maybe go into Snape's head during the task and immediately following Harry's return? And how did Liz learn of the outcome?
I'll keep on reading; your writing is pretty solid, and I like your use of Aurors as main chars!

Reviewer: sunsethillDate: 2005-08-17
Reviewid: 130214Chapter: 6
I'm glad you're continuing this story. Now, more than ever, I want Good!Snape stories. ;-)

Reviewer: SteveDate: 2005-06-05
Reviewid: 123339Chapter: 2
Now you really got my attention.

Reviewer: SteveDate: 2005-06-05
Reviewid: 123338Chapter: 1
Good story. Really enjoying it.

Reviewer: louisaDate: 2005-05-29
Reviewid: 122985Chapter: 5
What an exciting story, lots of mystery and intrigue and even some romance, yay! Lucky old Liz, she got to snog Sirrius AND Snape fancies her. I look forward to your next update.

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2005-05-27
Reviewid: 122864Chapter: 5
This fic has a point of view I haven't come across before. Good idea.

What made my skin crawl was the DE Healer. That has to be the scariest part. You think you're safe, on the mend, and then....Uggh. More please.

Reviewer: PirateQueenDate: 2005-04-19
Reviewid: 120020Chapter: 1
Thanks very much to all who've reviewed so far - I really appreciate it, and hope you're enjoying the story. I'm sorry to have left it so long between chapters this time, and promise to write faster in the future.

Interesting point by Sonic - I've had the discussion about Hogsmeade's 'red light district' a couple of times now. Though many of you may disagree, my justification is that it's tucked away at an end of the village in an industrial area where the students don't go, and the village council refuses to acknowledge it for what it is. Also, I don't think the teachers would necessarily mention its existence to the students ...

Reviewer: SonicDate: 2005-04-18
Reviewid: 119899Chapter: 4
Very interested! Can't wait for more...

although one question? Hogsmeade has something of a red-light district? Would that be realistic with Hogwarts students going there amongst other things?

Otherwise. Great! Can't wait.

Reviewer: AbbaDate: 2005-04-12
Reviewid: 119323Chapter: 4
Oh, this was definitely worth the wait. It's your strongest chapter so far. Liz continues to come into her own as a great original character, and I can't wait to find out what you have in store for Severus. Please don't make us wait so long for the next chapter!

Reviewer: Morag CamshronDate: 2004-12-22
Reviewid: 108303Chapter: 3
On the whole, Iím not really fond of Snape romance fics; such stories have a tendency to become rather maudlin- and unrealistically so! However, I really like this story; the title caught my interest and your writing kept it.

I found this to be a very IC Snape description:
"Snape rolled his eyes skywards in exasperation, but again made himself let his irritation go and produced another, rather stilted smile. Despite her tiresomely over-attentive manner, he inwardly acknowledged that Mrs. Everett had a good heart and meant no harm, however annoying she might be."

Your characters seem to be very well-rounded and thoroughly developed, which makes them a delight to read. Please continue with this!

- Morag Camshron

Reviewer: AdrienneDate: 2004-12-15
Reviewid: 107801Chapter: 3
I can't believe I havn't responded to this yet. Well, better late than never.

Frankly, I think it's awesome that Liz killed someone out of vengenace. So often you get these characters who, despite being well-rounded, just don't flip out and kill people. But this one does! And she's still realistic! You have many congrats for creating what I see as someone with great potential. My only suggestion (more like a caveat for the future) is that she not get over the murder so fast, because then it'll only be sort of a temporary angst device, instead of a legitimate issue she needs to deal with. So far, Elizabeth seems like someone who is really upset by this lapse of control, and this makes her interesting and real. Don't take that away!

Also, your Snape is wonderful as well as hilarious, this chapter was far too short annnd... keep writing.

Reviewer: AbbaDate: 2004-12-15
Reviewid: 107779Chapter: 3
Elizabeth is such a refreshing original character -- thanks.

Reviewer: Shina LarisDate: 2004-12-14
Reviewid: 107747Chapter: 3
You've updated again. Wonderful! :)

I'm very glad that the plot is picking up, instead of just being a romance. Snape/Liz is wonderful, but I wouldn't complain to seeing something darker. It makes a story so much more interesting. The relevation is rather unexpected, but is very realistic.

In this chapter, you've successfully further established Liz's personality. I feel even more drawn towards her than before, and that's something I found hard to do so with original characters sometimes. This story is a great read, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter some time soon! =)

Reviewer: Jade SabreDate: 2004-12-14
Reviewid: 107703Chapter: 3
oh, yes, this is quite enjoyable! I would like to see more...but alas, I must go to bed now. more!

Reviewer: Madam ArcateDate: 2004-12-02
Reviewid: 106671Chapter: 2
Great story so far, good description and imagery. Could it be that under Snape's mean, closed-up, bitter exterior there is an honourable man trying to get out? Liz suits him, she is quite his equal - though with better social skills - and I sense she won't put up with any poor treatment either ...

Who has Liz killed? Please update soon, I can't wait to find out what happens next!

Reviewer: SugarplumDate: 2004-12-01
Reviewid: 106519Chapter: 2
I liked this story a lot. Liz is a really cool OC, and the thought of Snape being fussed over by an elderly witch and hating it is very funny! I don't agree with the last reviewer, as I don't think the romance is happening too quickly. After all, nothing's really happened yet apart from a few glances and some idle thoughts, has it? And with the cliffhanger at the end of the second chapter it looks like there's a lot more to this story than just another Snape romance. Can't wait to find out what Liz has done!

Reviewer: Igenlode WordsmithDate: 2004-10-25
Reviewid: 102373Chapter: 1
I like the bookshop setting; I can certainly see Snape as a bookworm, even if it's not mentioned in canon! And the image of dear Severus at the mercy of a motherly witch is, of course, ripe with entertainment potential. But you've come up with a good rationale as to why he actually puts up with it. The comparison of her behaviour with that of an over-solicitous house-elf is a nice in-canon comparison, as well.
Was the close juxtaposition of 'fruitcake' and 'batty', which so amused me, intentional or merely a happy accident? ;-)
Other details I liked: the WI in this universe as the [i]Witches[/i] Institute, and Snape docking points from the Weasleys for the basic crime of being 'upright and breathing'...
Elizabeth is a fine creation, and there's obviously a dark secret in her recent past which will be eked out over several chapters yet to come. However, the one thing I felt you were less confident on, unfortunately, was the romance itself. Unfortunate because this looks like being the driving focus of the story. Any time you find yourself using a cliche like 'emerald eyes' you do need to take great care, and I didn't feel that your descriptions of the characters in these sections were up to the standard of the rest. I find it hard to swallow characters as otherwise mature as these falling for each other in the schoolgirl language of fluttering stomachs and gold-flecked eyes. The romance would have gone down better with me if it had been a little slower to develop, I think - preferably with some good rousing battles between two strong-willed individualists first!

Reviewer: BrytniDate: 2004-10-24
Reviewid: 102270Chapter: 2
Oooh, PirateQueen! You've got me to the point where I pull my hair out waiting for the next chapter. I just love where this is going, so keep it up! Great work!

Reviewer: lilyqueen777Date: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102221Chapter: 2
Oh My G-d!!!! wow! that was deep. how could elizabeth possibly be a killer, and why doesn't she admit it that she likes snape! please update soon, ASAP, and email me when you do! =)

Reviewer: lilyqueen777Date: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102220Chapter: 1
wow! i like this chapter. i wonder what happen nexts? oh wait i know the next chapter! lol :)

Reviewer: witch@heartDate: 2004-10-23
Reviewid: 102174Chapter: 2
Very nice. Snape is in-character, and both protagonists are well-defined. Snape's sarcastic banter is spot on, but you also get inside his head and bring out other sides of his personality. Liz complements him well. They are similar people, so neither would have many of the traits the other despises. For example, Liz does not seem at all prone to vapid chatter, and Snape would not encourage her to go to the W.I. I like Mrs. Everett, too. The idea of someone trying to cram food into Snape is hilarious, as are her forays into matchmaking. There was a moment when she got back from the hairdresser's that I thought showed her particularly well. The relationship between Liz and Snape is extremely realistic; the arm-brush felt very real. All in all, I like this fic a lot, and I will be watching for an update. Great job!

Reviewer: bixrbunnyDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102092Chapter: 2
Really great work! its obvious you put a lot of time into these stories. cant wait for more!

Reviewer: MincotDate: 2004-10-21
Reviewid: 102076Chapter: 2
Interesting premise so far! So far you're keeping Severus as his prickly, rather nasty self. He's interesting, intriguing, perceptive, character-rich, yes--but likeable the man is not. I thought you did a good job with Snape's characterization in showing the way he quells any flash of humor (the book hitting someone on the nose) with a cold dose of reality (some do). And, as other reviewers have commented, I really enjoy the mood you're evoking.

Do beware of misplaced modifiers (I've only seen one, so this is a minor, minor nitpick). You wrote, "Bound in black dragonhide and embossed with gold lettering, he took it reverently from Mrs. Everett's hands, unable to suppress a sigh at its beauty."

I spent a lot of time giggling over the idea of Snape (the subject of the sentence) bound in black dragonhide and embossed with gold lettering (as placed, modifying "He", i.e. Snape).

Sounds like it was a case of cut-and-paste gone wrong, to me. We all do it -- I have a parody fic that, among other things, rants about punctuation--and I mis-punctuated "Eats, Shoots & Leaves ... " ... *blush*

Reviewer: beckDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101978Chapter: 2
well that is a interesting ending do hope you update soon im very curious this story is off to a good start i do like it it is great to see snape uncomfortable having a crush on a women

Reviewer: HelenDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101977Chapter: 2
You deserve some more reviews, PirateQueen -
this is superbly done! I love your writing style, your humour and your sensitive descriptions of Liz and Snape's growing interest in each other. And I know I'm on the right track when Ivy & Gracie and Chary are recommending your fic, as they are, truthfully, my favourite authors on the site.

I knew I was sticking with this story when I came to this part of Ch1:

Snape felt soothed here at Everett's. It was a refuge away from the stresses of dealing with impertinent students, wearisome colleagues and all the other congenital idiots sadly resident at Hogwarts. Most of them preferred to buy their chainstore potboilers at Flourish & Blotts and would not know a rare first edition grimoire if it jumped up and hit them in the face (and he had found to his cost that some would, with very little provocation indeed).

And what an ending to Ch2!
I shall keep a watch for your name amongst the 'latest fics' - don't leave us hanging on for too long!

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101952Chapter: 2
We know it isn't the focus of the story, but THIS:

>>The bell over the front door jingled as it closed behind the old lady, and the shop sank back into silence once more. As Liz sat down again, the early afternoon sunshine streamed in through the mullioned windows, casting a dancing pattern of light on the worn, dark-stained floorboards. Before she picked up her book, she paused and looked around at her peaceful, familiar surroundings. <<

was so evocative that we were THERE for a moment. Wonderful cliffhanger - we'll be looking for your name on the new postings lists!

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2004-10-20
Reviewid: 101946Chapter: 2
Hi, we're ivy & Gracie, and we're Snapeaholics....And we think this is a great story so far! Your Snape is so believable: caustic and broody and yet there's a spark of "something warmer" (as Elizabeth noted) in there. Elizabeth, too, is an unusually well-rounded OC. The secrets of her past intrigue us...but not as much as the potential for romance with Snape! It looks like you took a long time to update between chapters 1 & 2. Hope that won't be the case next time!

Reviewer: emma moonDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101867Chapter: 1
Ooooh! I was completely enthralled by this chapter! It is so well written! Wonderful job! I can't wait to see the next chapter!

Reviewer: Shina LarisDate: 2004-10-19
Reviewid: 101810Chapter: 2
Oh, I'm so happy I've finally updated the story. I thought you'd given up on it altogether - I sorely hope that is not so. This is too good of a story to be put into limbo.

I've really enjoyed this chapter. Your characterisation of Elizabeth is particularly good; it made me like her right away. You've done a very good job of building up her past in the Auror's Department without going right out and telling us all of it in a block of history.

This was the first Snape story that I like, and even now, it's one of my favourites. I sincerely hope you'll continue updating it. I'll still looking forward to the next chapter, even if it's long away. However, if you could, please update a bit faster. That cliffhanger was a bit cruel. ;)

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Slytherin SagittariusDate: 2004-07-01
Reviewid: 90086Chapter: 1
Chary pointed me towards your story- keep it up! I'm enjoying it so far! (and hope you're better at updating than she is!) ;)

Reviewer: ShinaLarisDate: 2004-05-28
Reviewid: 84875Chapter: 1
This is a good start for what I think would be a delightful story. I've really enjoyed reading this so far. Your style of writing is really good. This is the only Snape story I've read so far and I'm not disappointed. I'm looking forward to read the rest of the story. Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: lollieDate: 2004-05-17
Reviewid: 83028Chapter: 1
does snape have a thing for green eyes first lily now lizzie

Reviewer: juanaDate: 2004-05-16
Reviewid: 82942Chapter: 1
its a great start; really well written! And i love fics where snape shows the lighter side of himsel! :p u WILL continue it, right?!?

Reviewer: PPPDate: 2004-05-16
Reviewid: 82871Chapter: 1
Extremely well-written story! You have a fantastic writing style- please give us more- it'll be a rare gem fanfic!

Reviewer: HamsiniDate: 2004-05-15
Reviewid: 82722Chapter: 1
me again. What I meant was you have a very creative writting style . *wraps arms around you*

Reviewer: HamsiniDate: 2004-05-15
Reviewid: 82721Chapter: 1
That was some pretty fabulous writting! Very creative idea. And what a unique idea!

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