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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 44

Reviewer: Machiavelli JrDate: 2006-03-08
Reviewid: 140702Chapter: 3
Spot on in every particular, especially the graffiti. Is it too harsh to say the correspondent's opinion of Slytherin is spot on? Sluts and f***ers? I think that's the sense of it; my Latin's a bit rusty. Goats are right out - that's Aberforth's department.

I can't think of anything to criticise, which is annoying me. One of the best OCs I've read and I think I'll enjoy the sequels.

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-11-10
Reviewid: 135778Chapter: 3
Brilliant new character and a good read

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2005-10-06
Reviewid: 133879Chapter: 3
["I'm flattered. But if you want to be treated by me, you break your leg on Monday, Tuesday or Friday.]

Ha! Healer Serway sounds like quite a character and just the type I can imagine living in Hogsmeade.

["I'm Katie Bell," I said. "This is my friend, Alicia Spinnet, and my cousin, Fred Weasley."]

Ha! I like how Alex thinks. She's quite ruthless and quite suited for Slytherin.

[One goes under his left elbow, one under his wrist and I stamp as hard as I can.]

Ooooh, very chilling and an unexpected twist. You certainly prevent Alex from becomming too cuddly. Also, very chilling in light of Draco's nose-stamping incident in Book 6.

[But you see, I deliberately and calmly broke the arm of a thirteen-year-old child because he said nasty things to me. I wasn't provoked; I wasn't even angry. Even now, my conscience doesn't seem to trouble me as much as I think it ought - it just seemed like a good idea at the time. But since then, I've found myself lying awake at four in the morning. Wondering if something like that will ever happen again, wondering what might happen one day when doing something infinitely worse just seems like a good idea. It's not good to discover exactly what you're capable of when you're only fifteen.

Surprised? Well, at what point in the preceding narrative did I actually claim to be a nice person?]

Wow, awesome writing. I like how you're able to portray the dark side of a character without compromising the character. It's an incredibly tricky rope to walk and you pull off the balancing act like a master acrobat.

[polishing copper pans big enough to cook themselves in.]

Great description!

[A few years ago, the Sorting Hat sang something that stuck in my mind: "-in Slytherin you'll make your real friends." Well, it was misinformed: in Slytherin you don't have friends, you have allies, and that's not the same thing at all.]

Awesome quote!

["Do you know the picture on the fifth floor of the dogs playing poker? They invited me to join in. They're actually quite decent players, but they'd be better if they could learn to stop wagging their tails when they get a good hand."]

Ha! Love Alex's sarcasm and that is pretty funny about the tails wagging.

I loved this! I can't believe I haven't come across it earlier! Just brilliant, fine writing and I'm excited to read the sequels!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2005-10-06
Reviewid: 133877Chapter: 2
["Well this is a four-wheel drive utility vehicle. It's a bit Spartan but that's the idea. When it gets really dirty, you can clean out the inside with a power-hose. Or just open the doors and drive it through a river."]

*snert* great observation about SUVs!

[Don't touch that! It's called the overdrive or hyperdrive or something and I don't know what it does!"]

Hyperdrive-*snert* Warp speed ahead! Great job conveying a sense of action and suspense in this scene.

[He bobbed around in the air, looking like a curious combination of bondage enthusiast and helium balloon.]

Ha! *dies laughing!* I love how resourceful and brilliant and snarky Alex is. She's got a lot of spunk and she and Sarah are the coolest female due since Thelma and Louise.

[I don't like dogs. Small ones annoy me, big ones scare me and they all smell.]

*snert* I love how blunt Alex is and how she's not trying to be anyone but herself.

["My, you are a big … boy," said Sarah, pausing to quickly check.]

*laughs* Naked Sirius-woo-hoo!

Great chapter! I adore Alex. She and Issy's Sylvia Fawsette would really get along!

Reviewer: louisaDate: 2005-10-02
Reviewid: 133590Chapter: 3
very amusing,I giggled throughout. I was especially ticked by Alex thinking 2 slices of bread improves a meal ... I have a friend like that who is addicted to pasty sandwhiches, eek!

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2005-09-06
Reviewid: 131860Chapter: 1
[Plus, I might lost the skilful little cartoon drawn by Phillida Jenkins during History of Magic. It showed an unmistakable Marcus Flint and Roger Bole and was neatly titled 'To Alex: How He REALLY got to be Beater'. It’s surprising really, how so many Hufflepuffs turn out to be complete deviants.]

*snert* I lvoe this, it reminds me of something me and my friends would do.

[Mrs. Norris clearly hadn't given Filch bath products for Christmas]

*snert* I'm really starting to like Alex's sarcasm and overall snarkiness.

[One of Malfoy's pet apes]

Ha! Great description of Crabbe and Goyle!

[The sort of weird masochist who thinks a damp cold windswept Scottish mountainside is a better venue of outdoor recreation then say... a beach several thousand miles to the south. To this sort of person, time spent on a beach, would seem empty and pointless. It lacks the risk of breaking a leg while scrambling down a scree slope and dying of hypothermia before being reached by a mountain rescue team.]

Those are my exact thoughts on hiking and camping and pretty much any other activity that involves a great deal of discomfort.

[fug]

Hehehehe! I don't know why I'm so happy about this. It's like you predicted the most controversial word in HBP.

I really like Alex and her friends. She's loyal, sarcastic, quick-thinking and it's great to see characters faced with situations that have nothing to do with romance. It's also great to read about a cast of original characters, especially Sarah "Tap" Fawsette. Really enjoyable, can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: jacyntheDate: 2005-03-26
Reviewid: 117767Chapter: 3
I have long been remiss in never reviewing this story as it has long been a favorite and one I frequently recommend. I particularly like the fact that it is exactly the right length. Through a detailed account of a single day, we really do get a glimpse into a whole other world. Nicely, nincely done. Oh, and did I nention that it still has me laughing out loud when I re-read it?

Reviewer: Ms MorlandDate: 2005-01-25
Reviewid: 112071Chapter: 3
This is wonderful! :)

Reviewer: Shina LarisDate: 2004-11-25
Reviewid: 105916Chapter: 3
Okay, I was laughing hard the whole time while reading this. Alex is so fit to be in Slytherin (that's meant as a compliment ;)). The little comment Sarah made about taking a Gryffindor along was very witty, and Alex's scene involving Dumbledore made me grin very wide. However, I especially love the last scene where she thought about going to break into Hufflepuff's common room. Very witty! =D

Reviewer: Shina LarisDate: 2004-11-25
Reviewid: 105912Chapter: 2
Needless to say, Alex is now one of my favourite original character. I must say that I really enjoy going along with her for the ride. ;)

Reviewer: Shina LarisDate: 2004-11-25
Reviewid: 105910Chapter: 1
The chapter is very good, and I especially like your portrayal of Alex. She's can be so sarcastically funny sometimes. I really love it!

Reviewer: ArtemisaDate: 2004-11-24
Reviewid: 105844Chapter: 3
Wonderful work. I was laughing so hard at some passages that I think I hurt myself. Your character Alex is phenomenal. I'm also reading your GoF year and I love it so far. Would you consider doing the same for OoP?

Reviewer: AerinDate: 2004-07-05
Reviewid: 90711Chapter: 1
Oh my feckin' goose. This is the best "muddy Slytherin" story I have ever read--for one thing, she's not a first year, and for two--she's an actual real-to-earth Slytherin, not a Gryffindor/Ravenclaw wearing a green tie and pretending to be sneaky. I love your writing; it captures the poignancy of Alex's spirit and being a Slytherin, and the loneliness that comes with being a Muggle-Born Slytherin, unable to have close Slytherin friends or close friends in other houses. I love her relationships with the other characters, as well as all of your original characters. They look like they could have come straight out of the books, it's simply someone else's point of view. I'm just tad confused: what year is it (Harry's fifth year? No...Cedric is alive. Harry's third year??) and what year Alex is in. I love every bit of your writing, and as a proud Slytherin, I give you all the wonderful praise you can take. (Just don't get a big head. XD)

Aerin

Reviewer: TabeaDate: 2004-07-04
Reviewid: 90602Chapter: 3
This is such a great story! It's not about Harry, but it's still very interesting. OC's don't matter, as long as they aren't clishée (sp?), and yours definitely aren't! It's refreshing to read fanfics where the main character is not in Gryffindor and not in Harry's year, but still has lots of adventures.

Reviewer: SreyaDate: 2004-06-17
Reviewid: 87620Chapter: 3
Found this through the recommendations thread in the forum, and I was very glad that I did! Excellent fic, it was completely enjoyable. And, as a fellow military brat, I was giggling over each Army reference, right down to the Guides activities.

Reviewer: srutiDate: 2004-06-12
Reviewid: 86842Chapter: 3
good work

Reviewer: GDDate: 2004-06-08
Reviewid: 86430Chapter: 3
Great story - love the stories about down-to-earth Slytherins

Reviewer: catmeatDate: 2004-06-02
Reviewid: 85681Chapter: 3
Good grief! I seem to be continually thanking people for their reviews. So why stop? Thanks again! :-)

I have read Tom Brown's Schooldays and I'm sorry to say that Flashman was, by far, my favorite character - a natural Slytherin if ever there was one! I'm afraid I found all the pious, manly little twerps he bullied rather annoying.

In fact, I though about putting Flashman into a 19th century Potterverse though the one chapter I wrote was awful and was deleted long ago. Although it remains at the back of the queue of things to write, it is an itch that won't quite go away.

I'm rather proud of the Dumbledore bit. His views on discipline seem relaxed to say the least (in fact, I don't think we've ever seen him punish anybody in canon). It'd be just his style to obliquely say to Alex: "I know what you just did, I'm letting it slide because you got away with it but DON'T EVEN THINK OF DOING IT AGAIN!"

Anyway... chapter one of the sequel has yet to be beta'd. Currently, the title is "Alexandra Sutton and the Untitled Something" so that clearly needs some attention for a start! ETA... 3-4 weeks... perhaps...

Reviewer: LeeDate: 2004-05-30
Reviewid: 85226Chapter: 3
Well! I'd WONDERED where those poker-playing dogs landed after my last garage sale! :) I used to have those prints on the wall going up my stairs. I loved your story and wonder if you have ever read Tom Brown's Schooldays or Owen Johnson's Lawrenceville stories. Do please post more stories soon.

Reviewer: JKDate: 2004-05-29
Reviewid: 85084Chapter: 3
That Hufflepuff password meant, "work conquers all", didn't it? Oh, never mind, read the A/N. But at least I translated it right.

An excellent conclusion. I particularly liked the last scene, with its glimpse into the life of the Slytherin girls. (Especially the fact that Lord of the Rings is popular at Hogwarts! ;-))

Looking forward to your next Alex fic.

Now, back to Catullus *sigh*.

Yours in fanfiction,

JK

Reviewer: JulieDate: 2004-05-29
Reviewid: 85074Chapter: 3
Great story! I don't often read Slytherin fics, but this one caught my eye for some reason. I think it was seeing the development of your summary on the thread, actually...

I love the idea of a halfblood military kid at Hogwarts! Alex has a *unique* outlook on life, at least for someone in the wizarding world. *G* at the way she takes advantage of learning the Hufflepuff password.

It's nice to see Padfoot in there, I like how he saved the students. And you've got Dumbledore down perfectly!

My favorite line from this chapter:
"The doors opened. Talk about living up to your own stereotype! But Slytherin was no better. Reciting all the synonyms for purity, in several languages, always got you in there sooner or later. Ravenclaw's password was always something like "sesquipedalianism" or "boustrophedonic". The Gryffindors, bless them, probably had to stick to three-lettered words or a particular sequence of grunts."
It's very interesting to see how the other houses view both each other and the Gryffindors!

Looking forward to the sequel!

~Julie

Reviewer: Katie BellDate: 2004-05-29
Reviewid: 85056Chapter: 3
I very much like this story. I do hope that Alex gets her watch back...

I want more!!!!
~~Katie Bell (THE REAL ONE)

Reviewer: BrigantiaDate: 2004-05-28
Reviewid: 84993Chapter: 3
I wasn't expecting this story to end after only 3 chapters, although the ending works nicely and makes sense - this isn't a quibble. I'm just sad because I like Alex. I really look forward to the sequel, and I hope you can start posting soon.

Reviewer: Steve CalabreseDate: 2004-05-28
Reviewid: 84983Chapter: 3
I read chapter one, and was sad because I thought I'd have to wait for more...

...and then I saw it was completed. This was quite enjoyable. I look forward to the next one.

-Steve

Reviewer: KateDate: 2004-05-28
Reviewid: 84931Chapter: 3
Ahhh, what a refreshingly intelligent Slytherin. What a cool character. Her conversation with Dumbledore (LOL) was sheer brilliance. Can't wait for the sequel!

Reviewer: JKDate: 2004-05-27
Reviewid: 84763Chapter: 2
Nice integration of Padfoot into the affair. You write well and I enjoy the voice you use; it fits Alexandra's character very well.

The drinking song the girls were composing was very amusing.

I enjoy the lighthearted tone of this piece. Looking forward to the next chapter!

Yours,

JK

Reviewer: JKDate: 2004-05-27
Reviewid: 84754Chapter: 1
I stumbled across this fic looking for something to kill time between classes, and I'm very glad I did. It's off to an excellent start! Alex is a very engaging character and you've scattered other interesting OCs and minor CCs throughout the story. I enjoy fics about OCs, and this looks like it will be great.

Alex is an interesting character, quite believable yet at the same time different enough to want to read about (being an "army brat", Muggle father, female Beater).

I enjoyed the vivid descriptions and the details about Scotland and being an army brat. It reads very naturally and adds to the story.

I also, as a first-year Latin student, appreciated the graffiti even if I didn't get its excat meaning.

Good work!

Yours in fanfiction,

JK

Reviewer: RachelDate: 2004-05-25
Reviewid: 84386Chapter: 2
This is a wonderful story in which you have introduced a great and believeable orginal character. I like her attitude and her voice. I hope you continue to add to this.

Reviewer: GyakutennoDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84371Chapter: 2
Er... Padfoot? Are you STUPID?! Or just lonely? If you're planning to stay with Hagrid... batty dog-crazy witches are one thing (she's an outtake) but hanging around at Hogwarts?! Anyway, now I've gotten my ranting over, now I get to rave about how HILARIOUS this story is! And "scurrilous" is a cool word! I bet I'll end up trying to use it on my little sisters. They say lots of filthy, scurrilous things at times. And I love how Alex just corrected the graffiti, cool as you please. And the Auror song is funny. If I was a witch (*giggles* In-joke... I'm not. Well, 'bout as much as Neville is a wizard.) I'd pro'ly end up like that. I'd try to join the Aurors to learn how to be a duelling fiend and to talk about plans lettered with that Morse code thing. You know, like India for I and Romeo for R. Anyway, I'm jabbering. But this is funny, and I like the unusual observations and all. "Playing silly buggers with nature." Most amusing!

Reviewer: mandjDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84356Chapter: 2
very interesting charictors, good work on the inner dialoge, fun read.

Reviewer: beckDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84334Chapter: 2
im not sure what i liked more the chapter or the authors notes which by the way i thought was hysterical. and the chapter was very good iliked the song they made up

Reviewer: CatmeatDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84327Chapter: 2
Thanks for all the nice reviews. In fact they're so nice I'm now paranoidly expecting the panning from hell to come crashing in like a thunderbolt <crouches nervously>.

Thanks for the book reference, Kate. I'll look out for it. Perhaps I should mention I'm also a boarding school survivor - I think you can tell.

I think Alex is a certain mixture of Marcus Didius Falco, the protagonist in Lindsey Davis' Roman detective books (but without the morality). A little bit of Harry Flashman, the Victorian scoundrel in George McDonald-Fraser's books (but not a bully and not quite as cowardly) and a bit of me. Which is confusing as we're all male and she's not!

By the way. Lairg and Loch Shin are real places... and Alex and Co. drive back to Hogwarts along the A838. My Hogwarts, is in the far north of Scotland, in Sutherland see -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutherland

I horrify myself with the amount of time I spent researching real places for the benefit of imaginary people.

I'll post the final chapter in a few days. And then sit down and think of finishing the sequel - before procrastinating for a while and doing something else. :)

Reviewer: KateDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84255Chapter: 2
I love it. On that reasoning, I would certainly be a Slytherin. I can just imagine this scenario. It is a lot like what a lot of my friends used to do at boarding school (I was a day student). They never got caught. Have you ever read the series "Tomorrow, When the War Began", by John Marsden? It's a lot like you style and the main character Ellie is a bit like Alex. I laughed a lot reading this and can't wait for the next chapter.

Reviewer: Susan BDate: 2004-05-24
Reviewid: 84237Chapter: 2
I knew all Slytherins coulfn't be bad. :-) Nice bit of inter-house bonding! I bet Sirius is getting a jolt!

Reviewer: EdytheDate: 2004-05-21
Reviewid: 83891Chapter: 1
Ah! so the identity of the 'sullen-faced Slytherin fifth year' of the PoA Christmas dinner is revealed!:) Brilliant story, I love your characterisations, of Hogwarts and the setting as well as of the humans and house-elves. Do please post more!

Reviewer: beckDate: 2004-05-21
Reviewid: 83869Chapter: 1
its a cute little story cant wait to find out how they get back to hogwarts =)

Reviewer: LeeDate: 2004-05-21
Reviewid: 83830Chapter: 1
I love this. Not only does it remind me of college friends who were also "military brats", it's well written, funny, and keeps the brain cells firing. I liked Sarah's nickname as soon as I saw it! Can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: DellaranDate: 2004-05-20
Reviewid: 83719Chapter: 1
I like this a lot so far. Your main character has a wonderful and distinctive inner voice, and she's definitely Slytherin without being a caricature. I'm looking forward to more!

Reviewer: LindaDate: 2004-05-20
Reviewid: 83698Chapter: 1
Good story, and such a cliff hanger. I'm looking forward to reading how they get out of this mess. My favorite line was the description of Ben Stebbins :'somebody's-dropped-a-toaster-in-my-bath mess of curly hair'.

Reviewer: mandjDate: 2004-05-20
Reviewid: 83645Chapter: 1
interesting, very interesting

Reviewer: Muggle MollyDate: 2004-05-20
Reviewid: 83643Chapter: 1
I loved the tone of the whole piece, sounded very Slytherin. Your very subtle humor had me laughing from start to finish. I will be checking back to read the next, and any subsequent chapters.

Reviewer: JenniferDate: 2004-05-20
Reviewid: 83642Chapter: 1
I really liked the sarcastic tone you gave this. I kept giggling at the things Alex would say or think. I'm looking forward to further chapters!

Reviewer: mdelaurDate: 2004-05-20
Reviewid: 83633Chapter: 1
Very promising. I read the help you recieved on your summary and must say that it greatly improved. Keep up the great writing. I hope to give a longer review at another time...

Reviewer: SarahDate: 2004-05-20
Reviewid: 83624Chapter: 1
Very Good!!! But I'm still slightly confused at what year this is in.....

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