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Dumbledore's Army
Reviews for: Visitation Rights
Review(s): 16

Reviewer: Reader 2Date: 2005-12-20
Reviewid: 137466Chapter: 1
A bit short. No?

Reviewer: mosyluDate: 2005-08-09
Reviewid: 129413Chapter: 1
Awwwww! Poor Percy, he has to be such a goober about it all. I never quite believed that he never ever visited Arthur, and I was thinking about writing the story myself . . . but instead I'll read yours! :)

Great job of balancing Percy's intrinsic goober-ness (can you tell that's my new favorite descriptor of mule-headed behavior?) and his deep love for his family. The thickhead just can't help himself. Awww.

Reviewer: Violet AzureDate: 2005-03-28
Reviewid: 117879Chapter: 1
[If he chose to, he could leave the bed unmade or the dishes undone. Not that he would ever think of such a thing, but it was an option.] Ha! That's very true of Percy's personality. I like how he appreciates the option, even if he won't take it.

[It was utterly terrifying to Percy, who could not recall a time when his father had ever been sick, let alone close to death. His skin was almost as pale as the sheets he was laying on.] Oh, you can really feel the emotional impact of this, epsecially if a parent has ever been really sick.

Oh, this was so sad. When I read in OotP that Percy didn't even visit his father in the hospital, I just couldn't believe it. I'm glad you wrote this; it feels very true to life and it certainly redeams Percy a bit.

Reviewer: Ada KensingtonDate: 2004-07-13
Reviewid: 92103Chapter: 1
That was a nice one-shot. Well-written and sad without becoming melodramatic. I'm not quite sure why, but I'm very glad that you didn't decide to let Percy meet his mother in the corridor. It would have lessened the confusing jumble of thoughts and emotions Percy experienced here between his choice of where his loyalties lay; feeling both angry at his family and yet being ashamed and unable to face them despite his (I believe) superficial self-righteous posturing in canon; and his continuing love for his family despite everything that has happened.

In short, *laughs* you've managed to portray the complex character traits of Percy Weasley wonderfully!

Great job! ^_^

Reviewer: Narcissa MalfoyDate: 2004-06-24
Reviewid: 88567Chapter: 1
This is a beautiful look at Percy. Someone so emotional as Percy is shown in canon obviously didn't react to his father's accident with indifference, even though he was too proud to reconcile. This imagining of the scenario is very like him, calculating in both his impulsiveness and pride.

There's an element of humour here too, sneaking about trying to avoid his mother, passing himself off to the nurse as a... cousin. It puts me in mind of the way JKR gives Percy's tragic situation a humourous tinge.

Thanks for the great read,

NM

Reviewer: ChrisDate: 2004-06-16
Reviewid: 87385Chapter: 1
Great characterization of Percy! I sure do like to think he managed to find some way to see his Dad...and I imagine he probably reacted exactly like you've described. Really well written dialogue!

Reviewer: KatinkaDate: 2004-06-16
Reviewid: 87327Chapter: 1
I came here following icy & Gracie's recommendation on the Pensieve, and I'm glad I did. :)

>>The best part about the tiny flat was that it was all his. If he chose to, he could leave the bed unmade or the dishes undone. Not that he would ever think of such a thing, but it was an option. No one to bother him when he was working here. No one to tell him what to do.

No one to say what he should believe.<<

I come from a culture of larger-than-usual families, and so that really rings true.

>>He grabbed his Ministry badge and his cloak and Disapparated.<<

I like the decisiveness of this action -- that shows his loyalties, right there.

>>He was trying not to sweat through the floor. "Yes. Funny."<<

Another nice bit of Percy characterization. He's not quite up to par with the twins, when it comes to thinking (cough::lying::cough) on his feet.

>>His father looked so small and helpless there in the bed. It was utterly terrifying to Percy, who could not recall a time when his father had ever been sick, let alone close to death. His skin was almost as pale as the sheets he was laying on.<<

*whimpers* That's heartwrenching.

>>His shoulders slumped and he stifled one sob before Disapparating home to the empty flat.<<

Sniff! Very poignant -- there's a great depth of emotion conveyed in this short piece. Well done!

~Katinka

Reviewer: St. MargaretsDate: 2004-06-15
Reviewid: 87282Chapter: 1
Ypu really captured the feeling of seeing a loved one lying gravely ill in a hospital bed--and you mananged to keep the Percy of OotP having that feeling. Good job!

Reviewer: ivy & GracieDate: 2004-06-14
Reviewid: 87091Chapter: 1
this is great! we've just re-read OotP, and were disappointed that Percy hadn't seen his father while he was in St. Mungos. Now we know he really did!

we're reviewing this for the weekly review challenge over at the pensieve; we're so glad we came across it. it's very well-written, and Percy is right in character. well done.

Reviewer: JuluDate: 2004-06-14
Reviewid: 87068Chapter: 1
Good for you! A lovely take on things...and I think Percy saw his dad in the hospital too.

Reviewer: Lady NarcissaDate: 2004-06-12
Reviewid: 86890Chapter: 1
[polite round of applause for Frankie] Nice job. It amuses me no end that so many people really paint Percy with a heart of gold. I like your version of him because while you've given him that heart of gold, he's still a completely self-serving and stuck-up prat.

Except for the inaudible sob at the end; that's a very nice touch.

Reviewer: Muggle MollyDate: 2004-06-10
Reviewid: 86636Chapter: 1
I like to think that Percy will redeem himself at some point and put family ties before political ambitions. Your story gives me some hope. I know the Weasley love is strong and will win out in the end. Good story.

Reviewer: AstridDate: 2004-06-09
Reviewid: 86607Chapter: 1
Touching, very sweet. I like seeing that Percy isn't a total prat and knows what's important in the end.

Reviewer: WendyDate: 2004-06-09
Reviewid: 86529Chapter: 1
Who doesn't love a Percy fic? and that was a really good one.

I can really imagine this stubborn Percy who will go to great lengths for the sake of his principles. It's not that he resents his father, he'll just do anything to not have to aplogise. Pretentious? Stubborn? Short-sighted? yes, he is, but his heart's still ticking to the Weasley beat somewhere underneath it all.

<The best part about the tiny flat was that it was all his. If he chose to, he could leave the bed unmade or the dishes undone. Not that he would ever think of such a thing, but it was an option. No one to bother him when he was working here. No one to tell him what to do.>
I loved this bit, it definitely rings true with me being merely 6 months off being able to move out myself(6 months too many). It also adds to Percy's desire to build an identity of his own (a common thing for Weasley's apparently) that really gets to the root of him and his father's estrangement. Very interesting.

Thanks alot, keep it up.

Reviewer: ArnelDate: 2004-06-09
Reviewid: 86521Chapter: 1
Nice story. It's interesting how each story about Percy at this point involves a stealthy, credential-misusing visit during the wee hours of the morning which originates and ends with his solitary flat. Your variation is well-written and captures Percy well. He still is a git, though...

Reviewer: Andrea13Date: 2004-06-09
Reviewid: 86498Chapter: 1
*cuddles Percy* I've always thought Percy visited in secret, when Harry didn't know about it to "report" it to us in OotP. Great job.

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