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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 8

Reviewer: reader2Date: 2005-02-12
Reviewid: 113705Chapter: 1
many pov mm's - thanks

Reviewer: LinnetDate: 2004-06-20
Reviewid: 87907Chapter: 1
I love MWPP stories, and this was an excellent one. I especially like Sirius's thoughts before his arrest and how you tied in the last line with the last line in PS/SS.

-PQ

Reviewer: hfleming8Date: 2004-06-18
Reviewid: 87793Chapter: 1
Wow!!!! Good job - I got goose bumps at the end when dumbledore was speaking. Sometimes I get lucky enough to come across someone who is truly insightful. You're one of those people. Keep up the good work.

Reviewer: LynDate: 2004-06-18
Reviewid: 87773Chapter: 1
wow... very good! it was so touching i nearly cried! i don't usually leave a review, but i think this one definately deserves one! it was very 'in canon' and seemed real. awesome!

Reviewer: JulesDate: 2004-06-18
Reviewid: 87759Chapter: 1
That was wonderful! This was such a beautiful Alternate POV story...it brought me to tears! Thanks!
Some things by which I was particularly touched:
'But James didn’t need to hear words, for he knew exactly what his wife was feeling. “It’s okay, Lily,” he said as he held her even tighter. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay….”' (that is lovely...that he knew what she was feeling and comforted her)
'She took her eyes off the windows and door for a moment and saw that James had his out as well. “Lily,” James said, not even glancing at her. “Check the back of the house and make sure everything is all right.”
But she knew that whatever made those noises was at the front of the house, not the back. She most certainly did not want to leave her husband alone; two had a better chance than one. He turned to look at her, and their eyes met. “Please, Lily.” After a few seconds, she nodded and turned around to walk to the back of the house.' (what a brave man, and a brave woman to do what he says to protect their son)
'There was a flash of green light and the sound of something large falling to the floor. Her heart broke.' (so did your readers' hearts break...you have invoked great emotion into these characters JKR has loaned to you)
'She pointed her wand over her shoulder and said, “Colloportus,” knowing that it wouldn’t do anything, but doing so on instinct anyway.' (nice incorporation of a new spell from OotP...I haven't seen it used this effectively in fanfic)
'He felt the pain and sorrow welling up in him, coursing through his body like the blood in his veins. “James…” he said, his voice full of emotion and his eyes full of tears. “Lily… Harry…what have I done?”' (that is so like Sirius, accepting the blame and responsibility immediately, and then going out to find Peter to make him pay for his part)
'Peter was making sobbing noises, but Sirius could see that his eyes were dry. What did he think he was doing? “What have you done, Sirius?” Peter shouted at the top of his lungs.' (ick, the little slimeball)
'They bound his hands behind his back and started leading him away, probably to Azkaban. Sirius went along with them, not struggling or putting up a fight.
All he did as he walked with them was laugh.' (I would have described his laugh as hollow or humorless, to show that he was insane with grief and injustice, but otherwise it's a very good image of Sirius being led away)
'so I leave you with this: we have hope. We know that Voldemort is not invincible, and though he may want us to think otherwise, we know that he has vulnerabilities, just as any other wizard has. We know that, though the road may be long and dark, we can overcome any evil that comes down our path.” Dumbledore raised his glass once more. “To hope, to the future, and to Harry Potter – the boy who lived.”' (It's wonderful the way you've tied in the title at the end, and that's a great speech by Dumbledore)
Well done! You have captured perfectly the emotions felt that night...I'm so glad I read it!

Jules



Jules

Reviewer: The Black BishopDate: 2004-06-18
Reviewid: 87745Chapter: 1
This is really good. I liked the way you portrayed Remus at the last meeting. I think he would be keeping himself carefully in control, always.

Reviewer: DarogaDate: 2004-06-18
Reviewid: 87744Chapter: 1
Very nice, very solid, very canon. Cool. And you've got Hagrid's accent down just about perfect (Well, I couldn't do it).

Reviewer: Count 23Date: 2004-06-18
Reviewid: 87734Chapter: 1
I haven't read many stories about the night that created the legend. It seems such fertile ground for development and speculation. Thank you for pulling all the threads together. I look forward to reading your next story.

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